1. You're definitely gonna get
this one. You ready?Copy !req
2. Uh, yeah. I guess.
- Okay.Copy !req
3. He knew that if the gooks were to
get their hands on the watch,Copy !req
4. they would take it.
So he shoved it... up his ass!Copy !req
5. - I have no idea what you're doing.
- Why, it's Christopher Walken!Copy !req
6. It sounded like Rosie Perez
or something.Copy !req
7. Come on! That was a perfect Walken,
it's gonna win me the talent show.Copy !req
8. - What talent show?
- The one I throw for the pub crawl.Copy !req
9. - Are you doing that again?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
10. Yeah, well, it's not really
a talent show anyway.Copy !req
11. She just gets
the most untalented people in PhillyCopy !req
12. to enter the competition...
so she can win it,Copy !req
13. and then she never wins it anyway.
- No. Last year she got smokedCopy !req
14. by this chick who ate, like,
50 hot dogs in three seconds.Copy !req
15. - That was amazing!
- That was not talent.Copy !req
16. Guys! I got some news! Some terrible
news! We got a huge problem.Copy !req
17. Can we stop for a second
and talk about this?Copy !req
18. - What?
- What's with that jacket?Copy !req
19. - I was gonna wait on that.
- We should go over the jacket now.Copy !req
20. - No, let's hear about it now.
- First of all, it's not a jacket.Copy !req
21. It's a duster.
It's like a jacket,Copy !req
22. only it's longer, thicker
and far more badass.Copy !req
23. I look like Lorenzo Lamas,
and women find it irresistible.Copy !req
24. - That part's just simply not true.
- Either way, I like it.Copy !req
25. I bought it with the money
I was gonna make at the pub crawl.Copy !req
26. Here's the problem.
You know that Korean barbecue jointCopy !req
27. down the street? Mr. Kim's? They
just signed up for the pub crawl.Copy !req
28. - Which means they're the last stop!
- They can't be the last stop.Copy !req
29. We're always the last stop! That's
the only time of year we make money!Copy !req
30. They're also experimenting
with a secret microbrew.Copy !req
31. Word on the street is that
it's delicious and powerful!Copy !req
32. Bullshit!
We're the microbrew guys!Copy !req
33. - They can't take that!
- Wait. You guys have a microbrew?Copy !req
34. - Yes! We make a delicious...
- Really?Copy !req
35. - Amazing microbrew!
- Oh, it's amazing.Copy !req
36. They throw all the skunk beer
into a trash can.Copy !req
37. And then they sell it
for 10 dollars a glass.Copy !req
38. The point is we cannot let
these Koreans steal our thunder!Copy !req
39. They wanna make
a top secret microbrew...Copy !req
40. - We gotta make ours more powerful!
- Right! We'll make it so strongCopy !req
41. that people will pass out and vomit
and vomit in their own pass out.Copy !req
42. They'll never leave
and go to Kim's in the first place!Copy !req
43. I will make this year's talent show
the best talent show ever.Copy !req
44. - Let the men talk!
- We're in the middleCopy !req
45. of an emergency here!
- Guys, we gotta move on this.Copy !req
46. - It's the damn North Koreans!
- Damn North Koreans.Copy !req
47. Wait. What makes you think
they're North Koreans?Copy !req
48. (scoffs)
That's the bad Korea.Copy !req
49. They're the sneaky,
bad Korea, man.Copy !req
50. The ones on the top and they sneak
down and they eat everybody's pets.Copy !req
51. I can't stand it! It's un-American!
All right, goddamn it. That's it.Copy !req
52. They're gonna take our way of life
from us. It's bullshit.Copy !req
53. Okay, gang. Let's solve this North
Korea situation once and for all.Copy !req
54. - All right, that's enough.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
55. - That's enough moonshine!
- No!Copy !req
56. Look, we don't want people
to go blind!Copy !req
57. - You can never have enough.
- Goddamn it.Copy !req
58. Trust me on this.
I know what I'm talking about.Copy !req
59. How's it taste?
(both gagging)Copy !req
60. We gotta lace it
with somethin' sweeter.Copy !req
61. We gotta add a little sweetening.
Oh, Deandra.Copy !req
62. Could you be a darling and run down
and get Daddy some antifreeze?Copy !req
63. We don't want to kill people.
You're not getting this.Copy !req
64. I can't help you guys.
I have a very busy day.Copy !req
65. I'm auditioning people all day long.
And also, you're not my dad.Copy !req
66. Winning a talent show
that you throw for yourself...Copy !req
67. s just about the saddest thing
you've ever done, Dee.Copy !req
68. Listen. If this is all about
boosting your self-confidence,Copy !req
69. why don't you go out and bang
a bunch of random dudesCopy !req
70. like you did
in the good old days?Copy !req
71. This talent show's
very important to me. All right?Copy !req
72. And I'm not gonna let you guys
steamroll me like you always do.Copy !req
73. Why don't you get Charlie
and Dennis to help you?Copy !req
74. Dennis and Charlie are out
collecting intelligence.Copy !req
75. Oh! You're playing spies now?Copy !req
76. Intel is the name of the game, Dee.
It's all about the intelligence!Copy !req
77. - You picked the wrong two people.
- Maybe so.Copy !req
78. But we do have
a secret weapon.Copy !req
79. That would've been a lot better
if I was wearing the duster, dude.Copy !req
80. It doesn't fit you.
It's too big for you.Copy !req
81. That's why it's so awesome
on me. It's like,Copy !req
82. - "Why's the guy in a giant jacket?"
- Why do you take this away from me?Copy !req
83. "What is he hiding, dude?"
I just wish you'd let me do it.Copy !req
84. - Can we just snoop around a little?
- We can snoop around.Copy !req
85. - But I should wear the duster.
- No, I'm wearing the duster.Copy !req
86. - That's the end of it.
(groans) - Fine.Copy !req
87. We should drink a couple
of these microbrews.Copy !req
88. That's what people
on the pub crawl are gonna do.Copy !req
89. Two microbrews, please.
(imitates gunshot)Copy !req
90. All right. What is this?
"Pub Crawl Karaoke Contest"?Copy !req
91. Bro, "Prize, 500 dollars"?
That's not good.Copy !req
92. - Aw, shit.
- Look at that bracket.Copy !req
93. Do you think that's...
That's what that's for?Copy !req
94. - That's for the karaoke contest.
- Oh, my God, dude.Copy !req
95. - There's a lot of names on there.
- That's huge.Copy !req
96. Bracketing is a very intricate
and difficult thing to do, man.Copy !req
97. - They got it down.
- I gotta get this intel to Mac.Copy !req
98. Well, hold on that
because we want to try the...Copy !req
99. - What? The microbeers?
- Yes.Copy !req
100. - Here we go.
- Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
101. - Oh, shit.
- Goddamn it.Copy !req
102. - That's good. That's...
- That is really good. That is...Copy !req
103. - Mmm!
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.Copy !req
104. - Son of a bitch, that's good.
- They're putting somethin' in that.Copy !req
105. 'Cause you can't just
make beer like that.Copy !req
106. - What do you mean?
- Like they're enriching it?Copy !req
107. - Are they enriching the...
- You cannot...Copy !req
108. - They're enriching the beers.
- They're enriching their beer.Copy !req
109. - That's definitely enriched beer.
- That's an enriched beer, dude.Copy !req
110. I've only tried enriched beer
like once.Copy !req
111. They're not allowed to have the
capabilities to enrich beer here.Copy !req
112. What is going on in this place?
Look at all these people, man.Copy !req
113. - They're like, being brainwashed.
- Oh, there's like brainwash...Copy !req
114. Notice how they're all happy
and smiling...Copy !req
115. 'cause they're drinking enrich...
- How old was the bartender? 16? 60?Copy !req
116. You have no idea.
They're timeless.Copy !req
117. - They're endless and timeless.
- We are in big trouble here, man.Copy !req
118. Oh, shit! Look at that door, dude.
See that door right there?Copy !req
119. The one marked "pirate"? You think
a pirate lives in there? (sighs)Copy !req
120. I see a door marked "private".Copy !req
121. Is that the door
you were talkin' about?Copy !req
122. - No, I was talking a...
- Yeah.Copy !req
123. - I didn't say... What did you hear?
- No...Copy !req
124. I heard you say you saw
a door marked "pirate".Copy !req
125. And "Is there a pirate
living in there?"Copy !req
126. Why would there be a pirate
living in a Korean restaurant?Copy !req
127. Are we gonna talk about
pirates all day?Copy !req
128. Or we gonna find out
who lives in there?Copy !req
129. All right.
Jesus Christ, man.Copy !req
130. - Here we go.
- What's wrong? Come on, open it.Copy !req
131. - It's locked.
- All right, I'm gonna try this out.Copy !req
132. - What is that? Your apartment key?
- Yes.Copy !req
133. - I'll see if it works here.
- That's not gonna work!Copy !req
134. - Why not?
- We're not at your apartment!Copy !req
135. How many possible lock
combinations can there be?Copy !req
136. - So many! Hundreds of millions.
- Eventually they'll overlap.Copy !req
137. - They're not ever gonna over...
- You're right. It's not working.Copy !req
138. - Oh, no shit.
- No shit. It was worth a try.Copy !req
139. It was not worth a try.
Move over. I'm gonna, like,Copy !req
140. kick the door or some shit.
- You're gonna kick it?Copy !req
141. - Really?
- Damn, dude.Copy !req
142. - This thing is like...
- What?Copy !req
143. enriched in its own way.
- Let me try something else.Copy !req
144. - Try a spin kick. Try a spin kick.
- Spin kick?Copy !req
145. - Yeah. You think you can do it?
- I'm not even sure... Okay.Copy !req
146. Sons of... All right,
I'm gonna kick. You ram.Copy !req
147. Go!Copy !req
148. Nice. Good.Copy !req
149. - How is that not working?
- No, I don't know.Copy !req
150. - Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm all right.Copy !req
151. We're gonna do that some more. But
let's get some more enriched beer.Copy !req
152. I'm gonna call Mac
and give him the intel.Copy !req
153. Holy shit!Copy !req
154. See what else you can find out
and call me back. Good work.Copy !req
155. - Forget the microbrew.
- What's the intel?Copy !req
156. They're having
a karaoke contest.Copy !req
157. I'm elevating us
to threat level yellow. It's time.Copy !req
158. - Yellow?
- Yeah. It's time.Copy !req
159. - What were we before?
- Orange, of course.Copy !req
160. Orange is much more
threatening than yellow!Copy !req
161. No, that's an old system.
It doesn't work anymore.Copy !req
162. Clearly yellow...
You go from yellow to orange to red!Copy !req
163. - Frank, this is orange! You see?
- Yellow, orange, red!Copy !req
164. - This is yellow! See this?
- Red, red!Copy !req
165. - Is this more threatening?
- Yellow, orange, red!Copy !req
166. - It's backwards going to yellow.
- Wow.Copy !req
167. - Elevate...
- Color fight. Listen.Copy !req
168. I need you monkeys outta here
'cause my contestants are waiting.Copy !req
169. That's a no can do
and I'll tell you why.Copy !req
170. The Koreans escalated the conflict.
I've upgraded us to yellow.Copy !req
171. - I don't know what that means.
- We're taking over the talent show.Copy !req
172. - What? No, you're not!
- It's already done.Copy !req
173. Go on. I knew it. I told you.
You're trying to steamroll me.Copy !req
174. It's not gonna work.
I'm gonna win this competition.Copy !req
175. There's nothing you guys
can do about it.Copy !req
176. You're not even gonna be in it, Dee.
You have to face facts.Copy !req
177. - You have no talent.
- You're talentless, sweetie.Copy !req
178. Oh, really?
Oh, is that so?Copy !req
179. Why don't you take a gander at this?
(clears throat)Copy !req
180. "No, Mookie. I don't wanna do it.
It's too hot outside."Copy !req
181. (laughs)
Right?Copy !req
182. - What was that?
- What the hell is that?Copy !req
183. - Rosie Perez!
- What?Copy !req
184. - That's terrible.
- Oh, come on! You love that one!Copy !req
185. You know what, Dee? You're a judge.
That's it. Dee's gonna be a judge.Copy !req
186. And you know why? Because
sitting in judgment of other peopleCopy !req
187. s the greatest way to make yourself
feel better. Problem solved.Copy !req
188. (grunts) And go.
All right, again.Copy !req
189. And go. You might have to give me
the duster back.Copy !req
190. - It's not working, man.
- Aw, it'll work. Go!Copy !req
191. All right, it's not working, dude.
I gotta use your head or something.Copy !req
192. Yes, yes. Hold me sideways and
use my head like a battering ram.Copy !req
193. Now pick me up
off the ground, okay?Copy !req
194. Why are you people
ruining my door?Copy !req
195. - Yes! All right. Yeah.
- Good! Hello!Copy !req
196. - Are you the owner?
- I owner. I Mr. Kim.Copy !req
197. - All right.
- Okay, good. Well, Mr...Copy !req
198. - Wait. You say Mr. Kim?
- Yes! I Mr. Kim!Copy !req
199. Wow. You should really do something
different with your hair because...Copy !req
200. You're not coming across
at all like a man to me.Copy !req
201. - You don't look or seem like a man.
- Look...Copy !req
202. If you don't tell us what's in that
microbrew, so help me, God,Copy !req
203. we will send you people
back to the Stone Age.Copy !req
204. I no respond to bully!Copy !req
205. (laughs)
What are you gonna do about it?Copy !req
206. You're messin' with
the wrong country, pal!Copy !req
207. That's an act of aggression
right there, buddy!Copy !req
208. - Every Asian know martial arts?
- They learn it when they grow up.Copy !req
209. It's like school.
(speaking Korean)Copy !req
210. Yes!
(Korean)Copy !req
211. Okay, okay. Okay!Copy !req
212. Oh, God. Jesus!
- That guy is such a dickhead!Copy !req
213. You don't have to take that
from him. I hope you know that.Copy !req
214. If I don't do what he say,
he punish me!Copy !req
215. He terrible man, okay?
Always, "Work, work, work!"Copy !req
216. - He treat me like slave!
- Slave?Copy !req
217. - He's got slaves?
- He's has slaves in there?Copy !req
218. What kind of a communist
dictatorshipCopy !req
219. s this piece of shit running?
- Hey, I no phone, no TV!Copy !req
220. I not even allowed
to drink the beer!Copy !req
221. What? No!Copy !req
222. - No! That is not acceptable!
- You're mad about the beer thing?Copy !req
223. I'm very. Are you not mad
about the beer thing?Copy !req
224. - Of course I am.
- You should be able to drink.Copy !req
225. That's what happens in America.
In America, you drink beer. Look.Copy !req
226. I'll tell you what. You come down
to Paddy's Pub, all right?Copy !req
227. We'll let you drink
all the beer you want.Copy !req
228. You can smoke your cigarettes. You
won't have to deal with the trashCopy !req
229. 'cause I deal with the trash.
- He takes out the trash.Copy !req
230. - Me trash.
- He captures the rats.Copy !req
231. - You beer, me trash, okay?
- I beer, you trash!Copy !req
232. I trash, yes!
(laughs) (Korean)Copy !req
233. Okay!
(Korean)Copy !req
234. Holy shit, bro.
Did you just see that?Copy !req
235. Yeah. She made
a meaningful gesture towards me.Copy !req
236. She made... No, dude.
She was gesturing to me.Copy !req
237. (scoffs)
I had my arm out like this.Copy !req
238. - Yeah, why were you doing that?
- 'Cause she extended to me.Copy !req
239. And then there was stuff
in the eyes between us.Copy !req
240. - And my arm was at her.
- All right.Copy !req
241. - Sure, pal.
- Wha...Copy !req
242. All right! That's enough.
That's enough. Thank you.Copy !req
243. Well, Martha,
you are terrible.Copy !req
244. I wanted to pluck out my eyes
and jam them into my ears.Copy !req
245. I wanted to pummel you
with a manhole cover.Copy !req
246. - There is no point to you.
- Oh, no...Copy !req
247. (slurring) Sweetie, I thought
you were really talented.Copy !req
248. And I liked it,
what you had on your fingers.Copy !req
249. And your hair is so...Copy !req
250. It's like it has a bulb
on the front of it.Copy !req
251. It just wasn't happening
for me, dog. I mean...Copy !req
252. - What?
- No, dog. I was not...Copy !req
253. It was the finger cymbals
need work.Copy !req
254. - Oh!
- And the jewelry and everything...Copy !req
255. It was...
It was just okay, dog.Copy !req
256. - Is it a yes or no, Frank? Dee?
- It's gotta be no, dog.Copy !req
257. Oh, I just think you're
so full of magic.Copy !req
258. - You're like a big, round wizard.
- Right. Well, it's a no from me.Copy !req
259. So... off you go, Martha.
(sobs)Copy !req
260. - Why did you get so drunk?
(scoffs) - You got drunk!Copy !req
261. I'm just really exhausted.
What's in that cup?Copy !req
262. - Rum and Cokes.
- Why are you getting wasted?Copy !req
263. Maybe because you dicks
stole my talent show.Copy !req
264. - Do you have any idea how import...
- "You have any idea..."Copy !req
265. We're trying to save the pub crawl.
This is what you're doing?Copy !req
266. (bellowing) You know what'll happen
if the North Koreans take over?Copy !req
267. - They'll ruin our way of life!
- Get your shit together, dog!Copy !req
268. Next!Copy !req
269. Oh, my God!
(giggles)Copy !req
270. Oh, my God! You scared me.
What are you doing?Copy !req
271. - I run away.
- Okay.Copy !req
272. Good. Uh...
What are you doing here?Copy !req
273. I follow you home
because I like you. (giggles)Copy !req
274. Nice. Good. I...
'Cause I knew...Copy !req
275. I knew that...
Right on! Okay.Copy !req
276. - Wait. All the way home?
- Yes.Copy !req
277. So you saw me eat that
Hot Pocket I found in the garbage?Copy !req
278. - Yes.
- Any thoughts on that?Copy !req
279. - No.
- Oh, man. I like you.Copy !req
280. - Come on in.
- I like you.Copy !req
281. (laughs)
Yeah.Copy !req
282. Hello there, Dennis.
It's Charlie.Copy !req
283. Hey, you're never gonna guess
who showed up at my...Copy !req
284. That's a very good guess.
Congratulations.Copy !req
285. But the point is that I've defeated
you at this little game of heartsCopy !req
286. and minds so that...
No, don't come over.Copy !req
287. No, dude. I don't want you
to come over, dude. Don't c...Copy !req
288. (scoffs) Dennis, don't come over.
Then why... No, I'm not scared.Copy !req
289. I just don't want you comin'...
Goddamn it! No! Why did I call him?Copy !req
290. (slurring) Good evening.
I need to speak to Mr. Kim, please.Copy !req
291. - I Mr. Kim.
- Hmm.Copy !req
292. All right.
Uh, Mr. Kim, my name is...Copy !req
293. R-Rita F-Fire... s.Copy !req
294. Hmm, Fires. And I am from
the National Health Inspectors...Copy !req
295. Uh, Store.
And I need to...Copy !req
296. I need to make sure that
your secret microbrew is up to code.Copy !req
297. - Health inspector?
- Oh, you bet your ass, Kim.Copy !req
298. Okay, all right!
I just... God!Copy !req
299. I just want
your stupid recipe!Copy !req
300. - You... terrible actress.
- Wait! Okay.Copy !req
301. (chuckles)
Hmm, I'll sleep with you.Copy !req
302. Your breath smell like vomit.
(whimpers)Copy !req
303. Okay, but...
(muttering)Copy !req
304. I know recipe.Copy !req
305. - You do?
- Well, what... What is it?Copy !req
306. Offer still stand?Copy !req
307. - All right. Where is she?
- Ah, dude,Copy !req
308. you might as well
turn right back around, man.Copy !req
309. - 'Cause she's in love with me.
- Uh, yeah, I doubt that.Copy !req
310. - Hi.
- We have so much in common,Copy !req
311. you're not gonna believe.
- Like what?Copy !req
312. - Uh, we both like pizza.
- Pizza!Copy !req
313. Well, I like pizza.
Everybody loves pizza.Copy !req
314. Oh, good.
We both hate mean people.Copy !req
315. - Who likes mean people?
- We don't like mean people.Copy !req
316. - Well, neither do I.
- We both think kissing's gross.Copy !req
317. - How is kissing gross?
- We just don't like it.Copy !req
318. - We're not into it. Probably...
- Sticky.Copy !req
319. Is it sticky? It's, like, there's
candy and beer in your mouth.Copy !req
320. How is it sticky?
From candy and beer?Copy !req
321. - I don't know.
- This is bullshit.Copy !req
322. Clearly there's some kind of
language-barrier thing happening.Copy !req
323. So I'm gonna go ahead
and pop this shirt offCopy !req
324. and finish this thing
once and for all, Charles.Copy !req
325. Charlie? He smell like dog fart.
(laughs)Copy !req
326. - She says you smell like dog fart.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
327. - Take it off. Take it off for us.
- Dog fart, huh?Copy !req
328. Am I in America?Copy !req
329. (chattering) (jukebox: rock)
Ladies.Copy !req
330. - Nice turnout, huh?
(sighs) - Yeah.Copy !req
331. But I'm getting
a little nervous here.Copy !req
332. I've heard some rumblings
about Mr. Kim's, okay?Copy !req
333. - We gotta keep these people here.
- Don't worry, Mac. I got a plan.Copy !req
334. Mac, I got problems, man.Copy !req
335. I can see that. Why are you wearing
the duster with no shirt?Copy !req
336. I'm trying to get my mojo back.
Charlie and I have been competing...Copy !req
337. over the same Korean chick,
and he's like totally winning.Copy !req
338. Why are you wearing
my duster with no shirt?Copy !req
339. This is the perfect combination.
Do I really have to explain this?Copy !req
340. - Are you kidding me?
- Explain it to me.Copy !req
341. Black leather duster...
Tough, muscular dude underneath it,Copy !req
342. nside of it.
Very sexual.Copy !req
343. - Check this out. Check this out.
What's with the hose?Copy !req
344. Hang on. I'm gonna spray it
on the women's tops.Copy !req
345. We get a better look at their
talents if their shirts are wet.Copy !req
346. - Wet T-shirt contest. I like that.
- Wait, Frank. Frank.Copy !req
347. How are we gonna have
a wet T-shirt contest without girls?Copy !req
348. - We never got any contestants.
- We use the girls that are here.Copy !req
349. They don't even know
they're contestants.Copy !req
350. You can't just blast people with
a hose in a bar. They will leave.Copy !req
351. - Lock the door.
- No, that's not gonna work.Copy !req
352. Frank, go get your gun.
Perfect. Go over to Mr. Kim.Copy !req
353. - Convince him to close for the day.
- I can do that.Copy !req
354. - Oh, excuse us!
- Excuse us, please.Copy !req
355. - Excuse us! Hey-oh!
- Hey-oh!Copy !req
356. I love when you say it!Copy !req
357. We are so happy.
And do you know why?Copy !req
358. - We just got engaged.
- Yes!Copy !req
359. - You guys just got engaged?
- Yes!Copy !req
360. - Yes.
- Now we're engaged.Copy !req
361. Do you want to
have some champagne?Copy !req
362. We'll have some champagne
to celebrate this.Copy !req
363. Come on.
Champagne!Copy !req
364. Did you guys happen to catch
what Sun-Li was wearing?Copy !req
365. - White tank top.
- A white tank top.Copy !req
366. Exactly. I thought we could talk
Charlie into having her enterCopy !req
367. the wet T-shirt contest.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
368. We'll tell him it's all
a part of Dee's talent show.Copy !req
369. Right. When she jumps up
on the stage,Copy !req
370. we'll blast her with the water.
The crowd will go crazy.Copy !req
371. The other girls
are gonna want to join in.Copy !req
372. And we will save the bar. And then
she'll break up with Charlie,Copy !req
373. ruining any hopes for happiness
that that son of a bitch ever had.Copy !req
374. I agree with the first part. But the
second part seems incredibly harsh.Copy !req
375. - That's the best goddamn part!
- Look, you guys deal with that.Copy !req
376. I'm gonna go
take care of Mr. Kim.Copy !req
377. - Yeah, what do you want...
- Boom!Copy !req
378. - What the hell is this?
- Oh,Copy !req
379. only Mr. Kim's
secret microbrew recipe.Copy !req
380. It's in Korean.
What am I supposed to do with this?Copy !req
381. Maybe I can get Sun-Li
to translate it for us.Copy !req
382. Sun-Li? Hi. Could you read this
for us, please?Copy !req
383. Okay.Copy !req
384. "Bony American
is dirty, dirty whore.Copy !req
385. "She bring much shame
to herself and country."Copy !req
386. Great.
Good work, Dee.Copy !req
387. You really topped yourself
this year, Sis.Copy !req
388. Charlie, can we talk
to you for a sec?Copy !req
389. - You whore?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
390. Good.
(sighs)Copy !req
391. What you want?Copy !req
392. I'm gonna have to ask you
to shut this place down.Copy !req
393. I am shut down. Look around,
you jerk! No one here.Copy !req
394. Yeah, I was kinda wondering
about that. What's up?Copy !req
395. My daughter, Sun-Li,
she is missing!Copy !req
396. - Korean broad?
- You seen her?Copy !req
397. Uh, no.Copy !req
398. Oh, she no come home
last night!Copy !req
399. Well, I'm sure
she's gonna come back.Copy !req
400. She probably
just met some guy.Copy !req
401. What you talking about?
You sick freak!Copy !req
402. Sun-Li only 12 years old!Copy !req
403. - What?
- She just 12-year-old girl!Copy !req
404. Oh, shit!Copy !req
405. Attention, everybody.
Hey, attention.Copy !req
406. Our first contestant
hails from North Korea.Copy !req
407. That's right,
North Korea, everybody.Copy !req
408. She's gonna be doing
something or other.Copy !req
409. And then we're gonna blast her
with water from a hose.Copy !req
410. It's gonna be great, right? You're
gonna want to stick around for this.Copy !req
411. And listen, ladies,
if you wanna get in on this action,Copy !req
412. please do not hesitate to do so.Copy !req
413. Okay, take it away.
(giggles)Copy !req
414. - All set.
- Uh, wait a second.Copy !req
415. You're gonna blast my fiancée
with water,Copy !req
416. exposing her breasts
to this entire crowd?Copy !req
417. - Yeah, man. Is that cool?
- That's very cool.Copy !req
418. Awesome. All right,
Sun-Li, hit it!Copy !req
419. - She's bombing. Blast her.
- All righty.Copy !req
420. All right, everybody!
Three, two...Copy !req
421. (gasps)
One!Copy !req
422. - Oh, God! What are you doing?
- Come on, Frank! Son of a bitch!Copy !req
423. - The wet T-shirt contest is off!
- Why?Copy !req
424. - She's only 12 years old!
- What? (murmuring)Copy !req
425. - You're just 12?
- Twelve, Charlie!Copy !req
426. - Oh, shit.
- That actually explains a lot.Copy !req
427. Where are you guys going?
You guys don't have to leave!Copy !req
428. No, stay, drink!
We didn't know she was 12.Copy !req
429. (clamoring)
Goddamn it!Copy !req
430. - Well, there goes the pub crawl.
- Oh, son of a bitch.Copy !req
431. - Well, I feel better about myself.
- Why?Copy !req
432. Uh, all I did was sleep with a
toothless, oily busboy for a recipe.Copy !req
433. - Charlie banged a 12 year old.
- No, I didn't.Copy !req
434. - What?
- I didn't even kiss that girl.Copy !req
435. - Like, nothing happened.
- Really?Copy !req
436. Yeah, absolutely. I can't believe
you banged a toothless busboy.Copy !req
437. - Those goddamn North Koreans.
- They are some sneaky bastards.Copy !req
438. - Yeah.
- Yep.Copy !req