1. Dee, I think what Mac's
trying to say
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2. s that it's probably
the greatest movie of all time.
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3. That's 'cause it is.
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4. "Rocky IV" is not the greatest
movie of all time.
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5. Dee, what do you consider
to be a good movie?
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6. I don't know
"Million Dollar Baby".
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7. Are you kidding me?
That is ridiculous.
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8. - Come on. It won an Oscar.
- "Rocky IV" has Stallone in it
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9. and he bashes a Russian's face
to all smithereens.
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10. Lifting anvils and shit, and pulling
trucks through the snow.
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11. "Million Dollar Baby"
is totally unrealistic.
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12. Girls can't fight.
They don't have muscles.
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13. - It's true.
- That's a horribly sexist.
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14. It's not sexist.
It's just truthful.
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15. Girls can't pull trucks
through snow.
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16. - Can you pull trucks through snow?
- I absolutely could.
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17. - You can barely walk in the snow.
Excuse me.
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18. - That's true.
- Time out.
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19. - Is the truck parked in neutral?
- That's a good question.
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20. - Hey!
- What, dude?
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21. Empty your pockets.
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22. - Now.
- Okay.
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23. Hey, let's just all
stay calm.
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24. Nice friends.
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25. Maybe, one to two
inches of snow?
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26. - One to two inches.
- And a Ford F-150.
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27. Right. In park,
but no emergency brake.
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28. - Maybe I could pull it four feet.
- I'd give him four feet.
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29. I'd give him five.
What's with the gym bag?
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30. Just got back from a "Boxercise"
class at the gym.
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31. "Boxercise"? What kind
of queer shit is that?
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32. - I'm learning self-defense.
- Deandra.
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33. You wanna learn self-defense,
you come to Daddy.
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34. I mean, all during the '60s, before
I met my whore wife, I was a boxer.
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35. - They called me Frankie Fast Hands.
- Frankie Fast Hands, everybody.
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36. Yeah, keep livin'
in the past, Dad.
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37. Is this about that stupid
"Million Dollar Baby" movie, Dee?
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38. No, actually, Mac, it's about being
left in an alley with a mugger
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39. because my chickenshit brother
and his friends ditched me.
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40. - You ditched your sister?
- Absolutely.
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41. - With a mugger?
- The guy had a knife.
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42. Of course we did.
What were we supposed to do?
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43. If I was there, I would have used
my Frankie Fast Hands technique.
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44. Dad, technique don't mean shit out
on the streets. Guys have knives.
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45. Yeah. In boxing, there are rules. On
the streets, we ain't got no rules.
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46. Ain't no rules
out on the streets.
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47. You guys got no rules
on the streets, you.
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48. Oh, please. Will you stop
talking about the streets,
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49. you three jackasses,
like you've been there?
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50. Any underground street fight
in Philadelphia,
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51. you'd find tons of technique.
- You think you could teach me?
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52. In a month I'll have you
kicking all their asses.
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53. Right. See you then.
Dennis, I have an idea.
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54. - Well, this is awesome.
- Yeah. This is amazing.
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55. There's blood everywhere.
It's beautiful.
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56. Yeah, and we were totally right.
These guys don't have any technique.
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57. They just get all cranked up
like a bunch of animals
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58. and beat the Christ
out of each other.
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59. Look at all this money
being thrown around.
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60. - Dude, we gotta get in on this.
- Oh, yeah.
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61. Really, I think it's about who can
take the biggest beating.
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62. - Yeah.
Get up!
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63. You know who can take
a really good beating?
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64. - Charlie.
- Charlie.
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65. Here she is, the old gym.
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66. Smell that?
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67. - That's the smell of hard work.
- And feet.
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68. That's the smell of big dreams.
The smell of glory.
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69. - It smells like feet.
- And feet. Does smell like feet.
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70. - Frank?
- Oh, shit.
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71. Frankie Fast Hands!
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72. Holy crap. I knew it was you.
I haven't seen you in years.
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73. Hey, Frankie, it's me.
Bobby Thunderson.
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74. - Yes. Yes. Yes, Bobby.
- Look at you!
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75. You really let yourself go.
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76. Are you trying to get back
into fighting form?
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77. No, I'm actually, teaching
my daughter some self-defense.
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78. Holy... Holy shit, man.
I'm training my daughter too.
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79. Hey, what do you know? Hey, look
at her. Look at her over there.
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80. Look, look, look. Oh!
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81. Amazing.
Hey, she's pretty too, huh?
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82. Like her old man, huh?
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83. Well, it's really nice
seeing you, Bob. Come on.
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84. Hey, don't listen to everything
this guy tells you.
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85. You don't wanna get knocked
out in the first round.
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86. Oh, my God,
that's an annoying sound he makes.
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87. - Asshole.
- Yeah, asshole.
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88. Okay, don't listen to anything
he says. He's a real creep.
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89. All right, now. Here, we're gonna
start weight training.
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90. First things first, squats.
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91. - Okay. That's it.
- Uh, that looks really heavy.
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92. Look. This is not gonna be
a half-assed workout.
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93. We gotta really get into it.
It's gonna hurt.
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94. Yeah, but I can't lift that.
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95. Just position yourself under
the bar and listen to me.
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96. All right. You're gonna take
all the weight on your neck.
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97. Then you're gonna jam your legs down
and hyperextend your ankles
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98. and then shoot back up
and lock your knees in place.
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99. Not one of those things
sounds right to me at all.
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100. Look. You wanna fight
like a man?
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101. You gotta train like a man.
Now, come on. Give me a squat.
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102. - Ready. Go! Go.
- Oh, my God!
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103. - Keep it up. Keep it up.
- Daddy, I can't. It's... I can't.
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104. At least I got the one.
Right?
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105. Yeah. Get out, get out, get out.
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106. We got a lot of work to do.
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107. Good, good.
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108. - Ah!
- Mmm-hmm.
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109. What are we doing?
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110. Charlie, you're, like,
the toughest guy we know.
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111. - Yeah?
- Nobody can kick your ass, right?
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112. - Practically invincible.
- Yeah.
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113. - Yeah, what's your point though?
- Here's what's gonna happen, pal.
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114. Dennis and I
are gonna train you
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115. to be an underground street fighter.
- What? That is brilliant.
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116. - Yeah, it is.
- Okay, what's the first step?
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117. Well, first step is getting
that shirt off.
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118. Yeah, let's go ahead
and get that shirt off.
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119. - Why would I do that?
- She's just gonna weigh you down.
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120. Yeah, and Rocky never
wears a shirt when he trains
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121. so let's just go ahead
and rip that bad boy off.
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122. I think I'm gonna wear it.
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123. That's ridiculous. You can't train
and wear a shirt, dude.
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124. Now it's becoming this whole
big thing. It feels a little gay.
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125. It's not gay, Charlie.
Just take your shirt off.
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126. Why can't I just get,
like, all excited
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127. and passionately
rip it off in the moment?
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128. Why can't you just
take your shirt off for us?
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129. Just drop it for now. It's not
that big of a deal.
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130. - All right, all right.
- Maybe you should punch something.
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131. - There you go.
- Yeah, you should punch something.
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132. - Why don't you punch this board?
- Okay. Hold it steady for me.
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133. - Watch your eyes.
- All right, come on.
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134. - Oh!
Oh, that's...
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135. - That looks like it stings.
- God. What's that made out of?
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136. It's a board, so it's,
you know, made out of wood.
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137. - It's, like, particle board.
- It's harder than wood, dude.
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138. No. It's actually
softer than wood.
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139. - Yeah, it's a lot softer than wood.
- Petrified wood.
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140. - What happened? I thought you...
- I guess I wasn't drunk enough.
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141. Oh, yeah. You should probably
be really drunk for this.
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142. - We should all be drunk for this.
- Let's get really drunk.
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143. - All right.
- Yah. I'll get some beers.
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144. - Come with me.
- Wait, wait, wait. Let him go.
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145. - Mmm.
- I don't know what happened.
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146. Mmm. Mmm.
Mmm.
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147. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Deandra,
we've been at this for days now.
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148. It's like you have
no motor skills.
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149. Just grab that bar
and jerk it down behind your neck.
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150. Hey! How's the chip
off the old block doin'?
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151. Bobby, not now, okay?
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152. Hey, your old man ever tell you
how we fought back in '61?
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153. They billed it as,
"Beauty Versus the Beast".
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154. Wasn't much of a fight.
First-round knockout.
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155. - He went down like a...
- Wait, wait. Hold on a second.
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156. What's goin' on with you? What,
are you trying to humiliate me?
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157. Uh, I think you did that
to yourself 40 years ago.
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158. You know damn well
you hit me after the bell.
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159. - That was a cheap shot.
- What... excuses are like assholes.
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160. Everybody's got one,
and they all stink.
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161. - You wanna go at it right now?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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162. You wanna settle this now?
Let's do it right here.
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163. Let's settle this son of a bitch
right here.
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164. Take it easy here. Come on. Jesus.
Show a little class, will you?
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165. Geez. Look, I'm an old man.
I don't fight no more.
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166. I let my daughter
do my fighting for me.
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167. And maybe in a couple years, when
this little graham cracker
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168. might have the stuff to
compete, maybe we'll see.
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169. Wait. You know what, asshole?
Why don't you go to hell?
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170. Dee, stay out of this.
- No.
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171. This guy has been all over us
since we walked into this place.
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172. I tell you what, jerk.
Why don't you take your big mouth
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173. and go someplace else with it?
- Listen, little buttercup,
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174. I'm just bustin'
your old man's balls.
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175. You don't have to get
your panties in an uproar.
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176. - Oh, my God.
- Are you standing there? Move.
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177. - That guy is such an asshole.
- Don't blame it on him.
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178. You're not makin' any progress.
I'm goin' to get the jump rope.
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179. - Men are such pricks.
- Oh, tell me about it.
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180. I bet you're real tired
of them pushing you around.
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181. - Oh, God, you have no idea.
If- only there was a way
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182. that you could be physically
tough enough to intimidate men.
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183. I'm sorry. Do I know you?
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184. Let's just say I provide a much
needed service around this place.
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185. Step into the shadows
and, uh, we'll talk.
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186. Yeah?
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187. Mac and Dennis, dude.
Open the door.
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188. - What?
- Mac and Dennis. Open the door.
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189. Open the door, bro.
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190. All right, guys. Hang on a second.
It's like, uh...
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191. It's like 11:00
in the morning here.
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192. - We don't care. Open the door.
- Surprise, bitch.
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193. - You're hittin' me with that?
- Charlie, let's be honest.
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194. Punching boards
isn't your thing.
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195. - But that's okay.
- Yes, that's okay,
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196. because for you it's not gonna be
about inflicting punishment,
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197. t's gonna be about having
punishment inflicted upon you.
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198. We need to smash things
all over your body.
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199. - Yes!
- No.
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200. Charlie, we need to build up
your tolerance to beatings.
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201. - Hence the smashing.
- We used a trash can,
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202. but Dennis wanted to use a chair.
- I think he's ready for a chair.
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203. - That's way too excessive.
- That guy's ready for a chair.
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204. - No, he's not ready for a chair.
- I'm tellin' you, he's ready.
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205. Hey! Guys! I can handle a chair.
Go get a chair.
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206. See what you're doing to him?
You're getting him all worked up.
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207. - He's the toughest guy we know.
- Yes, he is, but he...
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208. Hey, Mac! Get a chair,
smash it on my back.
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209. That's the right attitude.
He's got the right attitude.
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210. I'll tell you what. Charlie, go
put on those little short-shorts.
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211. Let's take things to the
next level.
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212. But first things first,
let's get good and drunk.
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213. - Let's get drunk.
- Yeah!
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214. Drink this. Drink this.
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215. Now, just to be clear,
these aren't steroids, right?
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216. No, no, no, no.
Of course not.
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217. These are performance-enhancing
supplements.
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218. Okay, so how long before
I start to notice something?
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219. This is the good stuff.
You'll feel it almost immediately.
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220. But I should warn you, you may
experience some mood swings,
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221. some irrational thinking
here and there,
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222. but it is nothing compared
to the long-term effects.
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223. Which are what?
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224. You ever punched a guy
so hard in the eye he swallowed it?
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225. I'll get some water.
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226. - How do you feel, man? You drunk?
- Yeah. I'm pretty wasted.
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227. Great. All right. So what
do we smash first?
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228. - I wanna smash a crate on his...
- Yeah, a crate on his back.
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229. - Why don't you punch me?
- Punch you? Punch you?
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230. I'm probably gonna get punched a
lot in the tournament, right?
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231. Yeah. All right.
Okay, that's a good point.
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232. So let's pop that shirt off,
and we'll start punching.
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233. - Oh, my God. Really?
- Yeah, man.
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234. Every time
I'm gonna take it off...
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235. This is gonna be so much better
with your shirt off, dude.
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236. - Why can't you just take it off?
- Just take it off.
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237. You're ruining the moment.
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238. - What is with you and the moment?
- You know what? Forget it.
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239. - Who do you want to punch first?
- I don't care.
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240. - That was good.
- Well, you caught me off guard.
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241. That was a big part of it.
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242. That was the same spot.
The same exact spot.
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243. Charlie, if we keep this up,
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244. you're gonna be the best underground
street fighter ever, bro.
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245. - Okay. Okay, Deandra.
- Just 10 more minutes.
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246. - No, no. That's it. Dee, that's...
- I love it. I need more of it.
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247. Deandra, enough. Enough.
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248. Come on, what the hell has gotten
into you the last couple of days?
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249. What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
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250. You think I can't do this by myself?
You think I'm on something?
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251. - "On something" I never said that.
- Then don't. Don't start.
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252. Hey, now we're talkin' here.
She's a killer.
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253. You're goddamn right
I'm a killer.
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254. You look like a Holocaust victim
in pageant makeup.
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255. - I will eat your babies, bitch.
- Bring it!
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256. - Nobody's eating anybody's babies.
- You lookin' to spar, little girl?
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257. - No. No fight. She's not ready.
- Oh, I'm ready.
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258. - No, you're not ready.
- I'm ready! Let me eat her babies.
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259. - What about next Friday, huh?
- Yeah. How's Friday?
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260. - You're crazy.
- How's Friday to you?
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261. What's the matter,
"Frankie Fat Hands"?
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262. You're afraid she's gonna
get knocked out just like you did?
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263. - Hey!
- Get this liar off of me here.
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264. No! No! You stop it. This is
my fight. Do you understand me?
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265. I'm sick of men getting in my way.
This is my fight. You hear me?
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266. You hear what I'm saying?
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267. Maybe we should leave
these two alone, huh?
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268. Okay. We'll see you
next Friday, huh?
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269. "Beauty Versus the Beast II."
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270. Come on, Brianna.
Here we go.
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271. - You're not ready for this fight.
- Oh, I have an idea, Dad.
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272. Why don't you shut your fat
little monkey face and hold the bag?
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273. I'm gonna paralyze this bitch.
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274. #Nothing's gonna ever
Keep you down
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275. Yes, Dad, I know the fight
is in a few hours, all right?
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276. I'm trying to find my
goddamn headband. Is that okay?
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277. Is it okay with you if I find my
headband before I come down there?
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278. Is that all right
with you, Dad? Jesus!
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279. Why didn't we get the orange one
like I said?
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280. This one might as well
be goddamn camouflaged!
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281. Oh, good.
Are you happy now?
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282. I just punched a hole in my wall!
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283. - Are you sure you're okay, dude?
- No, I'm not.
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284. I start thinking, you know,
and it makes...
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285. It makes me so angry.
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286. What am I saying?
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287. Okay.
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288. We're gonna go. We're gonna
go sign you up for the fight.
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289. - Yes!
- You stay here and eat your eggs.
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290. Have the... Have... Make sure
you eat some of the sandwich.
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291. Yeah, you can just
meet us down there, all right?
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292. - Can you meet us later?
- Yeah.
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293. - Meet later? Can I meet you later?
- Are you gonna meet us down there?
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294. Yes, I'm gonna meet you
there later!
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295. All right.
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296. All right, sign here,
here and here.
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297. - And what is this?
- These are waiver forms
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298. n case your fighter is
seriously injured or killed.
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299. Oh, we don't care
about that. Sign away.
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300. - What's the fighter's name?
- Clown Baby.
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301. - Clown Ba... Clown Baby?
- Yeah.
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302. - You mean like a baby clown?
- Not a baby clown. A clown ba...
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303. It's like a baby...
It's like a clown that is a baby.
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304. - I said cl... Clown baby.
- Mmm-mmm. You said baby clown.
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305. - I don't even care.
- Yep.
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306. "Clown Baby"? What in the hell
kind of a name is Clown Baby?
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307. Bro, it's perfect. Nobody's gonna
bet on a guy named Clown Baby.
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308. He's gonna be a huge underdog.
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309. Which means we stand to make
even more money off him.
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310. - Exactly.
- Oh, that's brilliant.
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311. Hey, pal, 500 bucks
on Clown Baby.
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312. Oh, Dennis. $500?
That's all we got, dude.
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313. You saw Charlie.
We turned that kid into an animal.
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314. Yeah? Call me a Holocaust victim?
Say you're prettier than me?
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315. Okay, maybe that part
might be a little bit true.
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316. We'll see how pretty you are as soon
as I punch a hole in your goddamn...
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317. Wha...
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318. Where the...
Who took my shit?
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319. I might have had some.
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320. What did you just say,
you little bitch?
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321. I might have had some
of your pills or whatever.
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322. Oh, yeah?
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323. I am gonna punch a hole
through your face.
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324. - I'd like to see you try that.
- Yeah?
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325. - Oh, you're gonna die!
- Oh, I am gonna rip your face...
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326. Make a shirt out of it,
and I'm gonna wear it.
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327. I'm gonna take one second
to take my shirt off,
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328. and then you're gonna die!
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329. What the...
Hey, listen, lady.
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330. You wanna beat up on your little
boyfriend, do it somewhere else.
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331. Watch the car.
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332. - Dude, where is your fighter?
- He'll be here.
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333. - He'll be here? When?
- Yes! Soon!
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334. Okay, you have five minutes
to put a fighter in that ring.
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335. Okay.
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336. - Just spooke with Charlie.
- Well, where is he?
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337. - He's in jail with Dee.
- What?
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338. Apparently they got all hopped
up on amphetamines or something
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339. and beat the shit out of some guy
in front of the bar.
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340. - Amphetamines?
- Yeah, steroids or something.
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341. - I don't know.
- Damn it, Charlie.
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342. Look at the dude he was supposed to
fight. He's the scrawniest...
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343. Charlie would have killed him. We're
gonna miss out on all this money.
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344. - Anybody could kick that guy's ass.
- I know.
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345. Come on. You could kick...
You could kick that guy's ass.
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346. You think?
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347. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're
the second toughest guy I know.
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348. I did bash Charlie
good a couple times.
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349. - You almost hurt him once.
- With the bottle, you mean?
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350. - Yes and that's next to impossible.
- That was good.
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351. - You're... You're good.
- I am good. Yeah.
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352. Tell you what. Um...
Why don't you go stretch out?
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353. I'll talk to the bookie
and let him know that Clown Baby...
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354. has arrived.
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355. - Let's do it.
- All right.
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356. God damn it.
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357. - Frankie, what's the deal?
- She got arrested.
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358. Ah! I knew that skinny bitch
would chicken out.
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359. So we'll never get the fight.
That's a shame, Frankie.
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360. Lots of unanswered
questions, huh?
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361. You want your fight? You got your
fight. You and me, right now.
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362. - Well, I... No.
- What? Daddy, you can beat him.
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363. - You're next.
- It'll be just like the old days.
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364. - I will kill you.
- I'll knock your nose off the face.
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365. You ain't gonna... You wanna knock
something, you knock it off of me.
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366. - That's right.
- All right, you got a fight.
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367. Greg, get my gloves.
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368. I'm sorry, bro.
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369. Sorry is not gonna get our money
back.
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370. - He was so fast, you know.
- You should have moved around
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371. a little more and tired him out.
Now we have nothing.
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372. I don't know what to say, dude.
I gave it my best.
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373. Yeah. You know what?
Your best wasn't good enough.
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374. - Hey, you have the time?
- Aw, not you again.
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375. Look, man, we don't have any money,
all right? We just lost it all.
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376. - Empty your pockets.
- Hey, meth-head.
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377. Are you listening to me?
We don't have any money.
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378. Do it,
or I will kill you both.
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379. Okay, here you go.
Look. Empty.
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380. - Now you.
- I don't have anything.
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381. - Do it.
- I don't have...
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382. - Just empty your pockets.
- No. I'm not emptying 'em.
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383. - I'm not even gonna... No.
- Just empty your pockets.
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384. - No. It's a matter of principle.
- A matter of principle?
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385. I don't feel like standing
in an alley with a meth-head.
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386. - Yes! This is bullshit, dude.
- I'm gonna stab you, man!
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387. For the love of God,
empty your pockets.
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388. Okay.
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389. - What the hell is that?
- Give it to me.
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390. You give us a second.
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391. Where did you get that money?
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392. I had to change
the bet a little.
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393. - You bet against me?
- I bet against you.
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394. - Why would you bet against me?
- Well, it was the right move.
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395. I mean, you got
your ass kicked.
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396. Why wouldn't you tell me?
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397. I could've taken a dive. I wouldn't
have had to get my ass kicked.
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398. Mac, it had to look real.
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399. Were you gonna
tell me eventually?
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400. - Yes.
- Yeah?
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401. - I was going to tell you.
- Yeah?
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402. You know what?
Stab this son of a bitch.
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403. Oh, wait a second.
Oh, come on, Mac.
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404. Don't be like that, man. You would
have done the same thing, man.
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405. Come on, don't act
like a baby.
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406. Please don't stab me.
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407. Bash this ugly jerk's
face in, Daddy.
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408. - Your last chance to chicken out.
- That ain't gonna happen, Bobby.
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409. I've been waiting for this
for a long time.
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410. All right, Frankie. Seeing that
we're a couple of old men here,
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411. I think we should
lay down some ground rules.
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412. Now. Number one...
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413. Holy shit!
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