1. That hits.Copy !req
2. - I am so psyched
that we're going back.Copy !req
3. - Yeah, yes.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
4. You guys, I mean, arcade games,
pizza, comedy.Copy !req
5. - What more
do you want in a place?
- You can't beat it.Copy !req
6. The best part about
Risk E. Rat's, though,Copy !req
7. is that they make kids feel
like they're the ones in charge.Copy !req
8. - Yeah...
- Totally.Copy !req
9. Like, that's where
I became a manCopy !req
10. and saw my first set of boobies,
at Risk E.'s.Copy !req
11. - Really?
- Uh-huh.
- Wait, what?Copy !req
12. Wait a minute. Hold on.
I don't know about this.Copy !req
13. Oh, yeah, dude,
Justine the Teen Dream.Copy !req
14. She was one of the robots in
the Animatronic No Rules Band.Copy !req
15. - You guys remember that?
- Yeah, of course.Copy !req
16. Right, so if you got off
the Train to Kid CityCopy !req
17. and you snuck backstage,
you could see under her shirtCopy !req
18. - just before she came out
to perform.
- Ooh...Copy !req
19. - Uh, yeah, I remember
hearing about that,Copy !req
20. but I thought that was
just a legend.Copy !req
21. - That's real, dude.
- No, that was real, dude.Copy !req
22. - You saw them?
- I saw 'em, I saw 'em.Copy !req
23. - Yeah. Yeah.
- That was the fir-first set
of boobs I ever sawCopy !req
24. - since my mom's, so...
- Yeah.Copy !req
25. Do they still have that room
where they paddle youCopy !req
26. - if you're out of line?
- Oh, no, uh, in our dayCopy !req
27. they called it
the Time-Out Room.Copy !req
28. And you would just go
and sit thereCopy !req
29. and fester in your candy-fueled
rage for about 20 minutes.Copy !req
30. - Then you learned your lesson,Copy !req
31. and they'd send you back out
to unleash it on the kids.Copy !req
32. Yeah, listen,
at the end of the dayCopy !req
33. it's all part of the fun.Copy !req
34. I know, but speaking of fun,
let's keep the song...Copy !req
35. - Yeah, yeah,
turn the song back on.
- Yeah, crank that shit.Copy !req
36. - Oh, yeah.
- Oh-ho!Copy !req
37. They really spruced
this place up, huh?Copy !req
38. - Looks good.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
39. But it still sounds
the same, though, right?Copy !req
40. But, boy, that noise sure would
send the parents running,Copy !req
41. - wouldn't it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
42. - Oh, remember when
the moms would goCopy !req
43. - in the padded bar?
- Oh, yeah, they soundproofed it.Copy !req
44. Yeah, they soundproofed it
so you couldn't hear it.Copy !req
45. - Yeah.
- Oh, they would get hammered.Copy !req
46. What you got there, bozo?Copy !req
47. Just need you to sign
these waivers.Copy !req
48. Eh, no waivers, no.Copy !req
49. I'm not really supposed to
let you inCopy !req
50. unless you sign this.Copy !req
51. Oh, yeah, well, listen.Copy !req
52. Well, I agree
it's total bullshitCopy !req
53. that we would have
to sign a waiverCopy !req
54. and also that
we could bum-rush youCopy !req
55. and there's nothing
you could do about it.Copy !req
56. But you know what?
Listen, todayCopy !req
57. we're just gonna have fun,
we're not gonna do any of that.Copy !req
58. We'll sign your goddamn waivers,Copy !req
59. but I want you to know that,
for the record,Copy !req
60. we're doing this under protest.Copy !req
61. Sure, I don't care.Copy !req
62. - Okay. Cool, man.
- Hey, here's
a little something for you.Copy !req
63. That's not my name.Copy !req
64. Yeah, I just went...Copy !req
65. There's a bottom section,
too... okay.Copy !req
66. - All right, man.
- None of 'em are really...Copy !req
67. Okay.Copy !req
68. Mmm.Copy !req
69. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
70. Drinking water.Copy !req
71. What does it look
like I'm do...?Copy !req
72. Get the hell out of here!Copy !req
73. Frank, what...?Copy !req
74. - I guess he's thirsty.
- Yeah.Copy !req
75. All right, well, we have a few
hours before the show begins.Copy !req
76. I was thinking I would go
redeem my old ticketsCopy !req
77. and then maybe play
some Skee-Ball.Copy !req
78. - Yeah, good call, man.
Nice. Have fun, have fun.
- Yeah?Copy !req
79. - Get it, go ahead. Yo.
- Hey, uh, Charlie, um,Copy !req
80. I can't get pastCopy !req
81. - this whole Justine
the Teen Dream thing.
- Sure.Copy !req
82. And this feeling that I just
missed out on my childhood.Copy !req
83. - Yeah, mm-hmm.
- And I'm just wondering ifCopy !req
84. - maybe you want to...
- Yes, I do.Copy !req
85. - Yeah?
- Yeah, let's go.Copy !req
86. Uh...
Well, they're gonna go check outCopy !req
87. some animatronic titties, so...Copy !req
88. Hey, you want to do
the joke hunt?Copy !req
89. - Yeah! Did you have that
when you were a kid?
- Yeah.Copy !req
90. Where you search around
for the little pieces of cheeseCopy !req
91. and they have jokes attached?Copy !req
92. Yeah, and if you got 'em all...Copy !req
93. - Yeah.
- ... you'd get to meet
Risk E. himself.Copy !req
94. And he'd do
his whole routine for you.Copy !req
95. Where he would smack
his kids in the headCopy !req
96. because they were pieces of shitCopy !req
97. and then he would
bust his brotherCopy !req
98. because he was a lazy drunk.Copy !req
99. That was so funny.Copy !req
100. - Oh, yeah.
I mean, that, that's funny.Copy !req
101. They changed it a bit
by-by the '80s.Copy !req
102. - Oh.
- Yeah, I think they...Copy !req
103. It was a little bit more
highbrow and, like,Copy !req
104. um, uh, topical,Copy !req
105. like, like, uh,
like diverse ethnic stuff.Copy !req
106. Oh, ethnic, yeah. Racist.Copy !req
107. Mm, no, no.
Not, not racist.Copy !req
108. Thinks like, um, you know,
like making fun of peopleCopy !req
109. for not belonging here.Copy !req
110. Right? Or like, like it's funny
when people sound funnyCopy !req
111. because they're, they don't,
they're not from...Copy !req
112. they're not from here.Copy !req
113. Yeah, because of their race.Copy !req
114. Hmm, I don't think that was it
because it was like,Copy !req
115. it's like a fish out of water...Copy !req
116. - kind of...
- Uh, okay.Copy !req
117. Satire? I don't know.Copy !req
118. I can't wait to see
who the victims areCopy !req
119. these days.Copy !req
120. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Totally.
- Yeah. Let's go.Copy !req
121. - Let's-let's go find
some cheese.
- Let's... okay.Copy !req
122. Let's go. Let's go this way.Copy !req
123. - Yeah.
- Come on.Copy !req
124. No more Game Boys,
but they do have a PlayStation.Copy !req
125. That's an upgrade.Copy !req
126. - Can I help you, sir?
- Ah, yes, you can.Copy !req
127. I brought my tickets
and I'd like to make a purchase.Copy !req
128. Where are your guns?Copy !req
129. Uh, excuse me?Copy !req
130. Uh, the gun section.Copy !req
131. I'm very specifically
looking for Risk E.'s rifle.Copy !req
132. It had a real heavy feel to it,Copy !req
133. it was very realistic,
had a good smoky bang.Copy !req
134. I used to put pebbles in thereCopy !req
135. and I could fire them, like,
right at Charlie's eye.Copy !req
136. It was awesome.Copy !req
137. Oh, uh, I don't think we have
anything like that.Copy !req
138. We have an orange space laser.Copy !req
139. What the hell am I supposed to
do with an orange space laser?Copy !req
140. Have you ever seen anybody use
a space laser in real life?Copy !req
141. How do I simulateCopy !req
142. real-world violence
with something like that?Copy !req
143. Why would you want to simulate
real-world violence?Copy !req
144. To get it out of
my system, bozo.Copy !req
145. All right, fine.
Forget it.Copy !req
146. Just get me one of those, um...Copy !req
147. switchblades that are combs.Copy !req
148. I don't know what that is.Copy !req
149. The switchblades
that become combsCopy !req
150. that you can threaten
your friends with,Copy !req
151. but then you don't know whether
it's a blade or a comb.Copy !req
152. You know what I'm talking about?Copy !req
153. Okay, how about
some of that, um...Copy !req
154. can you get me some of that gumCopy !req
155. that I can put in my mouth
and pretend like I got,Copy !req
156. like, a big old fat lip
and spit all over the place?Copy !req
157. You know what I'm talking about?
The...Copy !req
158. I don't think we have those—Copy !req
159. What about the candy cigarettes?
Give me candy cigarettes!Copy !req
160. Those were discontinued
because cigarettes are illegal.Copy !req
161. Okay, for Christ's sakes,Copy !req
162. can you get me like...Copy !req
163. the extra large
Atomic FireBalls?Copy !req
164. I believe they were considered
a choking hazard.Copy !req
165. Oh, my God,
a-a box of Nerds, nerd.Copy !req
166. Now, Nerds.Copy !req
167. Oh, you got those.Copy !req
168. What the...?Copy !req
169. What is, what is this?
Where's the mouse hall?Copy !req
170. Hold on a second.Copy !req
171. What, what? So you're telling me
they shut down the-the-theCopy !req
172. Ride to Kid City
for a superstore?Copy !req
173. I mean, there's clearly
no mouse hall.Copy !req
174. There's no way to access
this thing.Copy !req
175. - Dude, what are they doing, man?
- I don't know...Copy !req
176. Also, okay, what's up
with the helmet, right?Copy !req
177. - Risk E. does not wear
a helmet, remember?Copy !req
178. If he would fall and hit
his head, he would say...Copy !req
179. "That's what the bone's for."Copy !req
180. "That's what
the bone was for," right?Copy !req
181. And he'd come up, he'd crack you
on the back of the head.Copy !req
182. He'd smack you in the back
of the head.Copy !req
183. - "That's what the bone is for!"
- "Bone is for!"Copy !req
184. - I mean, that was, like...Copy !req
185. - part of the fun of it.
- It's unbelievable, man.Copy !req
186. - Things change, I-I get that.
- Okay, fine.Copy !req
187. - Things change, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
188. I mean, look,
I don't want to be that old guyCopy !req
189. who's, like, complaining about
the way things used to be,Copy !req
190. but, you know, I, uh...Copy !req
191. - Want to see boobs.
- I just do.Copy !req
192. You didn't get to see 'em,Copy !req
193. and it was a big part of
the experience.Copy !req
194. They knew that you needed that.Copy !req
195. Risk E. knew that
you needed that.Copy !req
196. They knew you were curious.
It wasn't a big deal.Copy !req
197. - Yeah.
- The boys, they need
something to as... you know.Copy !req
198. Yeah, yeah.
It's great for the boys.Copy !req
199. And it's also good for the girls
because then they knowCopy !req
200. what they're supposed
to look like.Copy !req
201. It's aspirational.
I mean, this,Copy !req
202. I don't think this is
the work of Risk E.Copy !req
203. You know what I mean? Like...Copy !req
204. I feel like Risk E.'s
walled off in there,Copy !req
205. and-and I thinkCopy !req
206. Risk E. would want us
to take a risk right now.Copy !req
207. He would want us to do it.Copy !req
208. Do it, whatever we want.
Watch my back.Copy !req
209. - No one looking?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
210. - Oh.Copy !req
211. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
212. Good, I think you ma-made
some headway, though.Copy !req
213. These balls have
no weight to 'em.Copy !req
214. Back in my day, you could crush
a man's skull with one of these.Copy !req
215. Oh, hey, you're pretty good.Copy !req
216. Thanks.Copy !req
217. I'm going for 10,000 tickets.Copy !req
218. Oh, yeah?
Dude, I got like 7,000.Copy !req
219. What? How do you have so many?Copy !req
220. I was really good
back in the day.Copy !req
221. Better than you.Copy !req
222. Oh, well, I only have 1,500.Copy !req
223. Oh, you know what we should do?
We should pool our tickets,Copy !req
224. and that way we can get, like,
the biggest prize they have.Copy !req
225. Uh, I don't think
you're allowed to do that.Copy !req
226. Yeah, you can.
This is America.Copy !req
227. You can do whatever
the fuck you want.Copy !req
228. You just cursed.Copy !req
229. So what?
We're in an arcade.Copy !req
230. And there's no adults around.Copy !req
231. Hey, do you know how much candyCopy !req
232. we can get
with this many tickets?Copy !req
233. I'm not allowed to eat candy.
I have to ask my parents.Copy !req
234. You don't have to ask
your parents anything.Copy !req
235. You can eat as much candy
as you want.Copy !req
236. You're at Risk E. Rat's.
That's the whole point.Copy !req
237. You can do whatever you want.Copy !req
238. - I want my mom.
- You're not getting your mom!Copy !req
239. Whoa!
Everything okay over here?Copy !req
240. Looks like someone might
need to take a breather.Copy !req
241. We don't need a breather.Copy !req
242. All right? I'm just...Copy !req
243. I'm navigating something
with the kid.Copy !req
244. 'Cause you're a jerk.Copy !req
245. You're a jerk,
and now we're in trouble,Copy !req
246. and now we have to go
to the Time-Out Room.Copy !req
247. I tell you what, I don't care
for these new scanners.Copy !req
248. You know, it was just so much
cooler when they were like...Copy !req
249. - Yeah.
- ... little plastic pieces
of cheese with the joke on 'em.Copy !req
250. You'd read the joke
and toss it in the trash.Copy !req
251. You know what they,
they used to do?Copy !req
252. They used to put 'em
on the waitressesCopy !req
253. without them knowing it.Copy !req
254. - Really?
- Yeah, that was the fun thing,Copy !req
255. because then
you could cop a feelCopy !req
256. and they couldn't say anythingCopy !req
257. because if they did,
they'd lose their jobs.Copy !req
258. - Yeah.
- That's terrible.Copy !req
259. No, it was the '50s.
It was fine.Copy !req
260. - Right.
- Yo, folks.
Got your mozzarella sticks.Copy !req
261. Oh, yeah.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
262. Please be careful, they're hot.Copy !req
263. - Hmm.
- Are they hot, dork?Copy !req
264. Are you trying to tell me thatCopy !req
265. these sticks of molten cheese
that just came out ofCopy !req
266. the deep fryer, they're hot?Copy !req
267. Well, yeah, I don't want you
to get burned.Copy !req
268. Thank you so much
for helping me out.Copy !req
269. What'd I've done
if you weren't here?Copy !req
270. Bye. Beat it.
Bye, Jesse.Copy !req
271. Sorry.Copy !req
272. - I mean...
- I'm talking about it.Copy !req
273. - Yeah.
- There's one.Copy !req
274. - Ooh!
- I found it. Look, over there.Copy !req
275. - Where?
- Right over there.Copy !req
276. - Oh, my God. Ooh.
- Un-Un-Under the table.Copy !req
277. He wasn't joking.Copy !req
278. - Hey, guys.Copy !req
279. - You having a good time?
- Hey there, Dingbat Duck.Copy !req
280. - Yes, we are.
- Uh, actually,
it's Dapper Duck now.Copy !req
281. How do you like
the delectable duds?Copy !req
282. It's not Dapper Duck.
You're-you're Dingbat Duck.Copy !req
283. Oh, hey, and where's your
stutter? That was your...Copy !req
284. - the funny thing you did.
- Yeah, yeah,
where-where's the...?Copy !req
285. Oh, I don't stutter.
I have delightful diction.Copy !req
286. No, you don't. No, you d...Copy !req
287. you d-d-d-d-d-do-do
st-st-st-st-stutter.Copy !req
288. And that's the only thing
that's funny about you.Copy !req
289. - That was good.
- He's laughing.Copy !req
290. - Yeah.
- See?Copy !req
291. You were, you were the retard.Copy !req
292. Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
293. - What?
- Don't say...
come on, don't say that.Copy !req
294. Well, he's a duck.Copy !req
295. I wouldn't say that
about a human.Copy !req
296. But you're telling me
I can't say a duck is retarded?Copy !req
297. - Yes.
- No? What do you mean?Copy !req
298. Suppose he walked up here,
and his feet were on backwardsCopy !req
299. and his beak was on
the inside of his head,Copy !req
300. what, then I could
call him retarded?Copy !req
301. Well, no.
Then you're dealing withCopy !req
302. a mutant duck,
and that's not funny.Copy !req
303. But his whole shtick was that
he would drool and slobberCopy !req
304. - and-and, you know,
he was like...
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
305. He could b-b-b-b-b-b-barely get
the w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-words out.Copy !req
306. - His mouth was retarded.
- Stop saying "retarded."Copy !req
307. 'Cause I didn't see anything
backstage and... Oh, shit.Copy !req
308. Okay. Look, look,
look at, look at this.Copy !req
309. Oh, man, this is, this is sad.Copy !req
310. And they stuck 'em
all in storage, dude.Copy !req
311. The whole band is here, dude.Copy !req
312. You got Spaz the drummer,
Chef Greaseball Linguini.Copy !req
313. - Oh.
- Dr. SliceCopy !req
314. the Funky Funkosapien
or whatever he was.Copy !req
315. Was he supposed to be Black?Copy !req
316. - Yeah. I, yeah, I-I think so.
- Yeah.Copy !req
317. And you know what?
Now that I think of it,Copy !req
318. it's good that
they're updating that.Copy !req
319. I mean, you can't have
a purple characterCopy !req
320. - that does a Black voice.
- Why not?Copy !req
321. Well, because...Copy !req
322. If you're gonna put
a Black person in the band,Copy !req
323. it's got to be
representative of...Copy !req
324. It was a white guy
doing the voice.Copy !req
325. - That was the problem.
- Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
326. - Yeah, yeah.
- It was a white guy doing
a Black voice...Copy !req
327. - No, no, no, that's—
- ... in a purple costume.Copy !req
328. That's not a good look,
you know what I mean?Copy !req
329. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No. For sure, for sure.Copy !req
330. Yeah, so...Copy !req
331. But they are purple.Copy !req
332. Who? What?Copy !req
333. Monsters.
You know, like...Copy !req
334. - Monsters are purple?
- Yeah.Copy !req
335. Blue, green, purple, orange,
and we can't just, like,Copy !req
336. not have purple monsters
in bands anymore.Copy !req
337. - All right, you know what? I...
- Oh, but they should haveCopy !req
338. - white voices.
- Well, they should have
monster voices.Copy !req
339. They should have monster voicesCopy !req
340. because we need monster representation.Copy !req
341. So we can't just
put them in boxes.Copy !req
342. This is all very
complicated stuff, man.Copy !req
343. - It is complicated, man.
- It's tough to navigate it, man.Copy !req
344. I don't know what the answer is,
so I'm gonna move past it.Copy !req
345. - I tell you what, I...
- All right, as long
as they can still haveCopy !req
346. - groovy monsters, you know?
- Yeah.Copy !req
347. Look at all this stuff.
Eh, tell you what,Copy !req
348. some of this stuff brings back
a lot of memories.Copy !req
349. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
350. Oh, no.Copy !req
351. - Aw...
- Sweet Justine.Copy !req
352. What have they done to you?Copy !req
353. Oh, man.Copy !req
354. Bam! Look at those.Copy !req
355. - Hey, you found her torso.Copy !req
356. Yeah.Copy !req
357. - Hey-hey.
- That looks crazy, man.Copy !req
358. That is something else,
isn't it? Mmm.Copy !req
359. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
360. Now, are you telling me thatCopy !req
361. there is a lifelike set of
animatronic breasts under there?Copy !req
362. - I am, sir.
- Really?Copy !req
363. - Yeah. Very accurate design.
- Huh.Copy !req
364. - Uh, nipples.
- Interesting.Copy !req
365. - All the curves.
- Fascinating.Copy !req
366. - Yeah, wow, good.
- Yeah.Copy !req
367. Yeah, okay.
So I will take, uh...Copy !req
368. - Yeah.
- ... the shirt off.Copy !req
369. - Let's, uh, let's pop it off.
- And, uh, I... hmm...Copy !req
370. Hmm, I'm sorry,
is it wrong to do this?Copy !req
371. If I'm being honest,
it feels wrong to me as well.Copy !req
372. - Right, but why?
Why would—?
- I don't know.Copy !req
373. - Is it 'cause she's underage?
- No.Copy !req
374. I mean, she's a robot,
man, like...Copy !req
375. - Right. Robot.
- They're ageless.Copy !req
376. Now, wait a second.Copy !req
377. We could just be two mature men
with an interest in robotics.Copy !req
378. This could be science
is what you're saying.Copy !req
379. I think this is
a scientific experiment,Copy !req
380. and that's one way
to look at it, and—Copy !req
381. This is for the good of...
future robots, right?Copy !req
382. So, for the good of... science...Copy !req
383. - Yeah.
- ... I'm just gonnaCopy !req
384. - go ahead and...
- Yeah.Copy !req
385. I'm gonna slide this down here.Copy !req
386. Just for scientific purposes
we can... aah!Copy !req
387. Oh, God!Copy !req
388. - That is...Copy !req
389. - What?
- How did they...?Copy !req
390. These are not the boobs I saw,
dude, these are not them.Copy !req
391. This is so disturbing.Copy !req
392. They-they took her tits off.
They literally sanded 'em off!Copy !req
393. - They mutilated this poor woman.
- That is disgusting.Copy !req
394. Goddamn libs.Copy !req
395. - Unbelievable.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
396. And this could be the
religious conservatives, too.Copy !req
397. You know, y-you don't know.Copy !req
398. - That's true.
- Which kind of—Copy !req
399. Lopping tits off feels like a,
feels like a religious move.Copy !req
400. - Yeah, that's
some kind of like—
- I don't know anymore.Copy !req
401. - Everybody's crazy these days.Copy !req
402. This is nuts, man.
I'll tell you what, though.Copy !req
403. This is a sad day
for women's rights.Copy !req
404. Now, Mac, tell us
how you're feeling right now.Copy !req
405. Well, I... feel angry.Copy !req
406. Is there anything else?Copy !req
407. Yeah, I feel... misunderstood.Copy !req
408. Unheard.Copy !req
409. Thank you.Copy !req
410. Sam, how are you feeling?Copy !req
411. I feel stupid.Copy !req
412. You are stupid.
It's 'cause you're stupid.Copy !req
413. - Shut up.
- Now, Mac...
- You shut up.Copy !req
414. - Mac.
- He's getting sassy.Copy !req
415. - I was not being sassy.
- You were being sassy.Copy !req
416. You... Okay, hey, guys.Copy !req
417. Honestly, you were both being
a little sassy.Copy !req
418. But right now I just want to
hear about Sam's emotions, okay?Copy !req
419. Fine.Copy !req
420. Thank you.Copy !req
421. There's that sass
that I was talking about.Copy !req
422. I feel like we're getting stuck
on the sass of it.Copy !req
423. It's hard not to get
stuck in the sass.Copy !req
424. - I understand.
- I'm mired in the sassCopy !req
425. because the kid is so sassy.Copy !req
426. Let's just let him talk,
and I feelCopy !req
427. like it'll all sort itself out.Copy !req
428. Fine.Copy !req
429. As I was saying, I feel stupid
talking about my feelings.Copy !req
430. Like, I don't want to be
in the Feelings Center.Copy !req
431. That's not the point
of Risk E. Rat's.Copy !req
432. - Hmm.
- We are on the same page thereCopy !req
433. 'cause, like,
this isn't the point.Copy !req
434. I don't want to be in
the Feelings Center either,Copy !req
435. and, like, he's dead right
about Risk E. Rat's.Copy !req
436. That's the whole point of it.Copy !req
437. And...Copy !req
438. I feel I just want to go
out there and have fun.Copy !req
439. That's what I want to do, too.Copy !req
440. I just want to play
and have fun, and—Copy !req
441. - See?
- Good, good.Copy !req
442. Hey, here's the question
about that, you guys.Copy !req
443. Do we feel like
we've earned that?Copy !req
444. Yes.Copy !req
445. Okay, well, so do I.Copy !req
446. - Let's get out there
and have some fun, shall we?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
447. We've only been here
for like five minutes.Copy !req
448. That's not a punishment.
I-I don't feel punished.Copy !req
449. Where-Where's the shame
I'm supposed to be feeling?Copy !req
450. There's no shame in
making a mistake, Mac.Copy !req
451. Yes, there is.Copy !req
452. How else would I know
not to do it anymore?Copy !req
453. Hey, listen, man.
I'm a licensed psychotherapist.Copy !req
454. You're a talking dog.
I'm out of here.Copy !req
455. - Great.
- I'm scared.
- I'm sure you are, Sam.Copy !req
456. I'm sure you are.Copy !req
457. 'Cause you're a pussy.Copy !req
458. Now, look, look, man, that's...Copy !req
459. - that's not your fault.
- Jesus Christ, man.Copy !req
460. It's not your fault.
This dog, your parents,Copy !req
461. the whole, the whole culture
is grooming you to be a pussy.Copy !req
462. You got no freedom,Copy !req
463. which means you got no balls.Copy !req
464. And then, even when
you actually do get caughtCopy !req
465. doing something bad,
you're not held accountable.Copy !req
466. And if you're not held
accountable, you feel no guilt.Copy !req
467. If you feel no guilt,
you feel no shame.Copy !req
468. If you got no shame...Copy !req
469. you're never gonna hate
yourself enoughCopy !req
470. to stop being bad
and grow some balls.Copy !req
471. You diddle this kid,
you're definitely on camera.Copy !req
472. I don't know if you want
to be alone with him.Copy !req
473. All right,
this is the last piece.Copy !req
474. - All right, what's it say?Copy !req
475. "What does a nosy pepper do?"Copy !req
476. - What?
- "It gets jalapeño business."Copy !req
477. That's stupid.
Let me see it.Copy !req
478. Oh, I get it!
You know what it is?Copy !req
479. You got to do it with an accent.Copy !req
480. Uh, it gets
"all-up-in-yo" business.Copy !req
481. - Get it?
Yeah, well, that's funny.Copy !req
482. - Yeah.
- 'Cause that's Black.Copy !req
483. - That's Black.
- Well, n-not necessarily,Copy !req
484. but it is sassy.Copy !req
485. You just got to put
some sass on there.Copy !req
486. It also could be
Mexican, I guess,Copy !req
487. 'cause of the jalapeño,
that's a Mexican pepper.Copy !req
488. - Um, gets "hall-up-in-your"
business, see?
- Oh, yeah, that...Copy !req
489. I get it, but I got to know
who it's about.Copy !req
490. I-I don't think
it's about anybody.Copy !req
491. I think it's just
a-a play on words.Copy !req
492. But I got to know
who the victim isCopy !req
493. in order for me
to laugh at them.Copy !req
494. Yeah, I'll tell you what,
in this scenario it's whitesCopy !req
495. because white people
are the only peopleCopy !req
496. who don't have the accent
to pull off the joke.Copy !req
497. - Well, that's racist.
- That is racist,Copy !req
498. - and I don't appreciate it.
- That's very racist.Copy !req
499. I'll tell you that much
right now.Copy !req
500. Is this the satire
you're talking about?Copy !req
501. I don't know.
If I'm being honest,Copy !req
502. I don't 100% understand
what satire means.Copy !req
503. - Let's go through
the jokes again.Copy !req
504. Guys, I hate to admit it,
but this place sucks.Copy !req
505. - Yeah, it's not good now,
man, you know?
- Yeah, it's the pits.Copy !req
506. Really creepy, too.Copy !req
507. Like, who are the weirdos
with the kids?Copy !req
508. I think it's their parents.Copy !req
509. - The parents should be
in the bar.
- Charlie, there is no bar.Copy !req
510. - What? Are you serious?
They got rid of the bar?
- There's no bar?Copy !req
511. Oh, that's crazy.Copy !req
512. This was, like, one of
the best bars in town, man.Copy !req
513. All right, all right,
you know what? Every...Copy !req
514. Let's just, everybody calm down.Copy !req
515. Okay? We're here, you know?
Let's give it another shot.Copy !req
516. Right? The show's
about to begin.Copy !req
517. That was always
one of the best partsCopy !req
518. of this place anyway, right?
The show.Copy !req
519. - Okay. Okay.
- Let's see if the show's good.Copy !req
520. - One, one last shot.
- Hard to screw the show up.Copy !req
521. They could redeem
themselves here.Copy !req
522. Everybody clap your handsCopy !req
523. 'cause it's time to party.Copy !req
524. - Here it comes.Copy !req
525. - Okay. Okay.
- Party time, baby.Copy !req
526. It's party time.Copy !req
527. What are these?Copy !req
528. - What's this?
- Earplugs?
- Earphones?Copy !req
529. - Are you serious?
- No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
530. - No, no, no, no. No.
- Get out of here.Copy !req
531. I want to be able
to hear the show.Copy !req
532. - Risk E., Risk E...
- This is a jam, right?Copy !req
533. Has a good beat going.Copy !req
534. Yeah, I like that beat.
That's it.Copy !req
535. What?Copy !req
536. Did he just say
Robbie-pizza.com?Copy !req
537. - Did they change the name?
- They can't...Copy !req
538. You cannot call a place
a website.Copy !req
539. That's crazy.Copy !req
540. He's not Risk E. anymore?Copy !req
541. - He's Robbie now?Copy !req
542. This is so depressing,
but, g-guys, we c...Copy !req
543. we can't wallow.Copy !req
544. We got to do something
about this.Copy !req
545. For the sake of the kids!Copy !req
546. Okay.
So here's what we do.Copy !req
547. We recreate the old Risk E.'s
so that these kids can haveCopy !req
548. the same experience that we had
when we were youngerCopy !req
549. and they can perhaps
tell the tale.Copy !req
550. That's exactly
what I was thinking.Copy !req
551. Guys, let's get risky.Copy !req
552. Wow.
Those kids are jazzed.Copy !req
553. - Wow!
- Yeah, man, we're all set here.Copy !req
554. Guys, I got to say,
I think we've...Copy !req
555. I think we've done something
pretty magical here today.Copy !req
556. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah!Copy !req
557. Okay.
On the count of three,Copy !req
558. you open the doors
and let 'em in...Copy !req
559. - Yeah.
- and I will throw this switchCopy !req
560. and let the real fun begin.Copy !req
561. - Yeah, baby.
- Ready?Copy !req
562. - That's the attitude, Frank.Copy !req
563. - Let's do it,
let's do it.
- Yeah, all right.Copy !req
564. Three, two, one...Copy !req
565. Fun!Copy !req
566. Where's my son?
Where's my son?Copy !req
567. They're standing
right over there. Go get them.Copy !req
568. - You're not listening to me.Copy !req
569. - Well, that got out of hand.
- Yeah.Copy !req
570. Yeah, these kids, they just,Copy !req
571. th-they weren't prepared
for that amount of fun.Copy !req
572. You know what it is?Copy !req
573. That's because they were
sheltered too much.Copy !req
574. - Right.
- I'm glad that they signed
the waiver, though.Copy !req
575. Oh, right.
No lawsuits for them.Copy !req
576. - They can't do shit.Copy !req
577. - Nobody can sue.
- Although you didn't,
you didn't sign anything.Copy !req
578. Ah, they won't find me.Copy !req
579. - Hey, should we get out of here?
- Yes.
- Probably, yes.Copy !req
580. - Let's go, let's go.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's slip out.Copy !req