It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 13x8

Directed by Kat Coiro

Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Waitress • David Hornsby as Matthew 'Rickety Cricket' Mara • Andrew Hawtrey as Marv • Bryan Coffee as Harry • T.J. Hoban as Rex

It's the weekend of Super Bowl LII from Charlie's perspective. While Charlie searches the back office, Cricket steals the suit leaving Charlie home alone to defend himself.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Where is it? It was right here.

2. I cannot find it. And by the way, Mac,

3. what're you even talking about?

4. The word is superstition, not "stupid-stition."

5. I know what the word is, Charlie.

6. I'm saying your green man suit is a stupid superstition.

7. Oh, really? Then why do the Eagles keep winning?

8. Also, by the way, dude,

9. uh, you're a Cowboys fan, so shut the hell up.

10. I'm not a Cowboy fan, I'm a Tony Romo fan.

11. And he retired, so now I bleed green.

12. - Go, Birds! Go, Birds! - All right, well, I'm not

13. going to the Super Bowl without it. I got to find it.

14. Yeah, don't make us late, Charlie, all right?

15. I-If you can't find it, you can't find it, you know?

16. The-the fans have no effect on the outcome of the game, anyway.

17. - Do you know how football works? - Yes.

18. That's right, your voodoo bullshit

19. is not gonna mean anything if...

20. Wh-What's going on with your eye?

21. Uh, nothing, I got a, I think I got an eyelash in it.

22. Well, you're, like, scratching it, and it's blinking.

23. I just, I slept on it funny.

24. What the hell is the holdup here?

25. Frank, this is why

26. I wanted total control over the guest list, all right?

27. The eyes of the world are gonna be on Philadelphia,

28. and I want to show them that we are not just degenerates, okay?

29. And that is why I'm very nervous about these guys.

30. Chug! Chug! Chug!

31. Chug! Chug! Chug!

32. Hey.

33. Chug! Oh!

34. Do me a favor, hold that corner right there.

35. - What's this? - Uh, I got to put up a sign.

36. I want people to know we're closed for salmonella

37. because of the Super Bowl.

38. Okay. First of all,

39. how is "salmonella" the only word you spelled correctly?

40. And second of all, which is it? Are we closed for salmonella,

41. or are we closed 'cause of the Super Bowl? It's very confusing.

42. - Look, do me a favor? Okay? - Yep.

43. Just go find green man. Please? Please, thank you.

44. - Charlie. Here, eat this asparagus. - What?

45. No, I can't eat that right now. That-That's not right.

46. It's not part of my rituals.

47. Okay, do you know what's not right...

48. is that we are trying to start a family,

49. - and you're not taking it very seriously. - Okay, no, I hear you,

50. but what I need to take seriously right now

51. is the Super Bowl, okay?

52. And that means sticking to my color system.

53. All right? I wear green. I don't eat it.

54. I'm green man. I eat brown,

55. preferably, uh, milksteak with a little light char to it.

56. And I drink yellow, because beer is yellow,

57. and that is what has been working all season long!

58. - Oh, my God. - I don't want to talk

59. - about this right now. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

60. - Where're you going? - Huh?

61. Got to find green man.

62. Why does no one understand this?

63. Nobody cares about your stupid superstitions.

64. Dude, just get off my back, all right? Let me find it.

65. No. Man, look, I just wish one time

66. you would not make everything so difficult.

67. Yeah, and you know what?

68. Sometimes I wish you'd just disappear.

69. Yo, check it out. I got one last surprise.

70. This is very nice.

71. Party bus!

72. - No way. - Fully stocked.

73. There it is!

74. - You found it! - All right.

75. - You found the damn suit. Can we go now? - Nice.

76. Where the hell is green man?

77. Where is it?

78. Well, I just can't find it, so I'm gonna have to, like,

79. buy a new one on the way up there.

80. Who knows if it's even gonna have the same powers

81. as the other one did. I...

82. Where is everybody?

83. Guys?

84. Honey?

85. Hello?

86. Mac?

87. Dee?

88. Frank?

89. I made my friends disappear.

90. I made my friends disappear!

91. Hey, Frank!

92. I'm going through your stuff!

93. Hey, Mac!

94. I'm going through your stuff!

95. I got your...

96. sticky Bible!

97. Dee!

98. I'm going through your stuff!

99. Dee, woof!

100. I don't know why I'm screaming. This doesn't hurt at all.

101. Countdown to the game. And start the clock.

102. E-A-G-L-E-S!

103. Eagles! All right, boys.

104. I'm home alone in the bar, you know?

105. It's all me. This is, like, my bar now.

106. Hey, cheers to you and the big game, boys, right?

107. Really cool, too, man.

108. Those, like, those uniforms look really cool on you.

109. You guys look, like, really strong.

110. I am a little bored.

111. What the heck?

112. Hello?

113. Hello?

114. Mac?

115. Dee?

116. Frank?

117. Is this a joke?

118. Cricket?

119. Uncle Jack?

120. Is this a joke?

121. It's only my imagination.

122. It's only my imagination. It's only my imagination.

123. Okay.

124. So, he tries to punch me. He misses.

125. - Oh. - He misses. What an idiot, huh?

126. Yeah.

127. I got it.

128. - Hey, idiot. - What?

129. Read the sign.

130. "Closed for salmonella because Super Bowl."

131. Well, which one is it? Is it closed for salmonella,

132. - or is it closed for the Super Bowl? - I don't know.

133. Burglars.

134. Thi-This is my bar.

135. I have to defend it.

136. Ah, I know.

137. Ooh, ooh, that's a gusher.

138. I got to stop the bleeding.

139. Help! Help!

140. Oh, shit.

141. Uh, okay. Okay.

142. Oh, God. Oh, this is gonna suck.

143. Oh! Shit!

144. Okay.

145. It's time for the Super Bowl. Super Bowl.

146. Oh, man.

147. What?

148. How is the game starting? Uh...

149. How did I lose an entire day?

150. Oh, shit, I got to get the TV on!

151. Oh, shit. Hey, uh, help?

152. Oh, who am I kidding, man?

153. No one's gonna leave their TVs right now.

154. My colors.

155. I-I didn't do my color rituals. Guys,

156. you're gonna lose the game because of me!

157. I'm so sorry I let you guy...

158. I let you guys down, man. I didn't...

159. Oh, I blew it.

160. It's gonna be my fault.

161. Hey. Hey there, fella. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

162. Be careful. Don't-don't... don't go by the traps.

163. Don't... Come here, come here, come here.

164. Come here, come here, come here. Come here. I got you.

165. You're gonna be okay.

166. 'Cause I know what it's like to be caught in a trap now,

167. and it's not okay.

168. I won't let you get caught in a trap, okay?

169. You're so cute and tiny and...

170. and brown.

171. Healthy-looking fellow, huh?

172. Ah. The brown is down.

173. The brown is down.

174. Wasn't too bad.

175. Eagles must have scored. It's working!

176. All right. All right, let's get that TV on.

177. I ate my brown, and it worked!

178. I ate my brown!

179. Although I got a feeling that's gonna

180. come back to haunt me later.

181. No, right now.

182. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever eat a rat.

183. Oh, man, that sounds like the Pats scored, huh?

184. Okay, I-I just got to keep going with my colors, right?

185. All right, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm-I'm gonna keep going.

186. I'm gonna... I'm gonna wear green.

187. I'm gonna drink yellow. All right.

188. Green. What's-what's green? What's green?

189. What can I...?

190. Okay, I got it.

191. Okay, boys, I got it.

192. Here's the play.

193. I'm not gonna let you fellas down.

194. I'm gonna untie my shoes,

195. I'm gonna toss them over the rope.

196. That's gonna lower that green paint can down to me.

197. Shoes goes up.

198. Soar like an Eagle!

199. Aah! Okay, boys,

200. I'm not gonna let you down.

201. Soar like an Eagle! Yeah!

202. Oh, shit.

203. Okay, plan B.

204. Oh, no. Okay.

205. Bear with me.

206. All right.

207. Let's chew through this bad boy.

208. I'm gonna chew through it.

209. There we go. Okay.

210. Here we go.

211. Oh, no.

212. All right.

213. I'm just gonna have to catch it.

214. One...

215. two...

216. three.

217. Okay, I'm green.

218. That's...

219. Nice. Sounds like it's working.

220. All right.

221. Got to get some yellow.

222. Got to get some yellow! Got to drink some beers, boys!

223. I'm coming, beer!

224. I'm gonna get my yellow!

225. Oh, shit!

226. I'm stuck.

227. Oh!

228. Not enough yellow!

229. Where the hell am I gonna get some yellow?

230. Oh, God.

231. Oh, God.

232. Oh, this is awful.

233. JASON KELCE: You can do it, Charlie. You drink that yellow.

234. You got us here!

235. Now finish what you started.

236. Whoa. Hey, dudes.

237. Finish your color rituals.

238. Okay. Here goes!

239. Go, Eagles!

240. Oh, that was rough.

241. Now turn on that TV.

242. Yeah!

243. Oh!

244. I don't think I can get there, boys.

245. You watched every game this season— you can't miss

246. the end of the most important one.

247. Oh, come on, man.

248. I did the color rituals. Isn't that enough?

249. The only reason the Eagles made it this far

250. is because of your superstitions.

251. The rituals. They say you're caught in a bear trap.

252. They say you lost two quarts of blood.

253. They say you're hallucinating!

254. Who's "they"?

255. Everyone who didn't believe in you.

256. - And I got two words for them: fuck 'em! - Right!

257. You've got this, Charlie. You're an Eagle.

258. - Yeah! - Now go turn on that TV!

259. Yeah! Here I go!

260. - Yeah, come on, Charlie. You got this. - Come on, Charlie.

261. - Come on, Charlie. Come on! - Pull that chain! Pull it!

262. Yeah!

263. - Come on, Charlie. You can do this, baby. - Let's go.

264. Oh, glass!

265. - I stepped right on the glass! - Yeah, but keep pushing, man.

266. No pain, no gain!

267. Okay. I got it.

268. - Oh! - Oh!

269. I forgot about that one!

270. Why would anybody do that to anybody?

271. Fight through it. Fight through the pain!

272. - Come on, come on. - Move, move.

273. Oh, I forgot...

274. - Oh! - Shit!

275. Come on, man. You got it. You took that one, eh? Keep going,

276. Charlie.

277. - Come on, Charlie. - Pull that chain!

278. - Pull that chain! Pull that chain! - I am pulling,

279. you big fat assholes!

280. There's some slack in here. Pull it.

281. There you go.

282. Come on, Charlie.

283. I can't do it!

284. I can't do it.

285. No, no, it's too hard.

286. No, the trap. It was designed for animals.

287. Yeah. So?

288. You're a human, dude.

289. Use your thumbs.

290. - What do you mean, use my thumbs? - There's a release lever

291. on the bottom. Thumbs.

292. What?

293. Well, why didn't you tell me there was a release lever?

294. You bought the trap, Charlie.

295. I only know about the release lever

296. because you know about the release lever.

297. Y-You get that, right?

298. - Yeah, no, I-I totally get that. - He's not getting it.

299. - We're-we're not real. - No, I get it.

300. Quick question: where is the release lever?

301. - It's on the bottom! - It's on the bottom!

302. - The bottom of the trap. - Yeah. You set it up.

303. I see it. Okay.

304. Oh!

305. Patriots with the ball at their own

306. - nine yard line. - Oh!

307. Oh, Brady's got the ball. The ball... What?

308. Brady's got the ball with time on the clock!

309. Oh, shit, what happened? What changed?

310. Yeah... you're gonna

311. - have to get back in that trap. - Yeah.

312. Aw, come on, man. You just told me to get out of it.

313. Yeah, that was before Brady had the ball.

314. Does it have to be the same leg or...

315. - Yeah. - Same leg.

316. Damn it! Are you sure this is gonna work?

317. Every single thing that every fan does,

318. at home or at the stadium, makes a direct impact in the game.

319. Aw... shit.

320. E-A-G-L-E-S!

321. Eagles!

322. E-A-G-L-E-S!

323. Eagles!

324. Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH