1. My phone
is moving slow as shit.Copy !req
2. Is it? 'Cause mine'sCopy !req
3. - going super slow, too. Yeah.
- Really?Copy !req
4. I heard if you just do
the new software update,Copy !req
5. - then everything moves faster.
- Oh, there's a new update?Copy !req
6. - Yeah, yeah. Just go to settings.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
7. - Uh-huh. Is that the little gear thing?
- And then... Yep.Copy !req
8. And then just click update.Copy !req
9. How long's it gonna take?Copy !req
10. Uh, says 30 minutes.Copy !req
11. - What?
- What?Copy !req
12. What?Copy !req
13. What are we gonna do without
our phones for 30 minutes?Copy !req
14. We don't need the phones.Copy !req
15. Maybe... Oh.
What if we just kick backCopy !req
16. and remember some
of the good old days?Copy !req
17. No. What?Copy !req
18. No, no, no, no. Come on,
what are you talking about?Copy !req
19. Look, we can think
of something to do.Copy !req
20. - I don't know, it does sound kind of fun.
- That's what you doCopy !req
21. when you start getting old.Copy !req
22. You know, you start reliving
the glory daysCopy !req
23. 'cause you can't think
of anything new to do.Copy !req
24. Do you remember the time
that I sewed myself into the couch naked?Copy !req
25. Uh, yes..Copy !req
26. - Remember?
- Oh. YesCopy !req
27. Oh, great, now you've...Copy !req
28. Oh, what in the hell?Copy !req
29. - Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Oh, God! Oh, God!Copy !req
30. - Oh, no.
- What is happening?Copy !req
31. Can't breathe.Copy !req
32. - Too hot.
- Why are you naked, Frank?Copy !req
33. - It was too hot. Leather couch.
- Okay. But did you hear?Copy !req
34. - She called you an asshole.
- She called you an asshole, Frank.Copy !req
35. No air. No air.Copy !req
36. - Air! Air!
- God!Copy !req
37. I was running down the street.Copy !req
38. I was, I was naked.
I didn't feel the cold.Copy !req
39. I-I was just sweating bullets.Copy !req
40. - You were soaking.
Slimy.Copy !req
41. And the way you tell that,
it's like I was there.Copy !req
42. - And I was not there. I was not there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
43. We were there,
and it was like that.Copy !req
44. Yeah, we were there.
Guys, guys, uh, what about this memory?Copy !req
45. Uh, hola, estúpidos.Copy !req
46. - What is that? What is that from?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
47. Um, can I ask you a question?Copy !req
48. - I...
- You're just doing a bad accent?Copy !req
49. - What, what...?
- That's not... No?Copy !req
50. - Yeah. That's not really a memory.
- You're remembering the timeCopy !req
51. - you burned a Mexican's house down?
- No, no, not that one.Copy !req
52. - I was doing a character.
- Oh.Copy !req
53. I was thinking we could remember
all my hilarious charactersCopy !req
54. - that I've created.
- You've never had any.Copy !req
55. Now, hang on a second.
You've created characters?Copy !req
56. What are you talking about?Copy !req
57. Y-You don't
remember Taiwan Tammy?Copy !req
58. - Oh! Oh, my goodness.
- Oh! You can't do that.Copy !req
59. - We decided that isn't funny anymore.
- You can't...Copy !req
60. - No, that's right.
- As a society.Copy !req
61. All right. Well, what about
my Saint Patrick's Day? The...Copy !req
62. I'm Crazy Pad...Copy !req
63. Oh.Copy !req
64. Oh! Yes!Copy !req
65. - Oh, wow. That was hilarious.
- Wow.Copy !req
66. - That was funny.
- Ow!Copy !req
67. - Ooh, ooh, guys! I got an idea.
- Ooh!Copy !req
68. Why don't we remember
all the timesCopy !req
69. - that Dee's gotten hurt.
- No. What? What?Copy !req
70. I'm not doing that, okay? No.Copy !req
71. I-It's too late.
I'm already remembering it.Copy !req
72. Holy shi...Copy !req
73. I found the kittens.Copy !req
74. Oh, come on!Copy !req
75. I wanted to, uh...Copy !req
76. Oh. Upsy-daisy.Copy !req
77. You guys are exaggerating.Copy !req
78. You weren't even there
for half of that.Copy !req
79. It's just how we remember it,
Dee. I mean...Copy !req
80. You can't, you can't beat
physical comedy memories.Copy !req
81. - They're timeless.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
82. Oh, you know what?
Let's rememberCopy !req
83. all, like, the classic times.Copy !req
84. - You know, like, the best of the best.
- Yeah.Copy !req
85. Ho ho ho ho.Copy !req
86. Well, hello,
and Merry Christmas.Copy !req
87. So, where's your little one? Oh.Copy !req
88. Ho ho ho ho.
You're a big boy, aren't you?Copy !req
89. Uh, is he?Copy !req
90. I got this one.Copy !req
91. So, son, what would you like
for Christmas?Copy !req
92. Huh?Copy !req
93. Did you fuck my mom?Copy !req
94. What?Copy !req
95. Did you fuck...Copy !req
96. my mom?Copy !req
97. What do you mean? I, uh...Copy !req
98. Did you fuck my mom,
Santa Claus?Copy !req
99. - Mm-mm.
- Did you fuck my mom?Copy !req
100. - No, I...
- Did you fuck her?Copy !req
101. - No, I...
- Did you fuck my fucking mom?Copy !req
102. Did you fuck my mom, Santa?Copy !req
103. He's biting my neck!Copy !req
104. Wait, you're gonna kill him!Copy !req
105. - He's biting my neck!
- You're gonna kill Santa Claus!Copy !req
106. Brakes. No. Guys, why aren't
the brakes working?Copy !req
107. Because I cut the brakes.
Wild card, bitches!Copy !req
108. Yee-haw!Copy !req
109. - What? Charlie!
- What?Copy !req
110. - Seriously? What?
- Abort! Abort! Abort!Copy !req
111. You want to maybe put
this divider up?Copy !req
112. Well, no. We don't want to
exclude a great man like FrankCopy !req
113. from the conversa...Copy !req
114. Oh, my God!Copy !req
115. - Call 911!
- Oh, no, it's okay.Copy !req
116. I have a touch of consumption.Copy !req
117. - That seems really dark.
- No, no, it's not dark.Copy !req
118. - You're misunderstanding me, bro. Okay?
- I-I...Copy !req
119. - I think I am.
- Yeah, you are.Copy !req
120. Because if the girl said no,
then the answer,Copy !req
121. - obviously, is no.
- No. Right.Copy !req
122. But the thing is is she's
not gonna say no.Copy !req
123. She would never say no
because of the implication.Copy !req
124. Now, you... you've said
that word "implication"Copy !req
125. a couple of times.
W-What implication?Copy !req
126. The implication that things
might go wrong for herCopy !req
127. if she refuses to sleep with me.Copy !req
128. Now, not that things
are gonna go wrong for her,Copy !req
129. - but she's thinking that they will.
- Are you gonna hurt women?Copy !req
130. - I'm not gonna hurt these women.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
131. - Why would I ever hurt these women?
- I don't know.Copy !req
132. I feel like you're not
getting this at all.Copy !req
133. I'm not getting it.Copy !req
134. I am gonna punch a hole
through your face.Copy !req
135. I'd like to see you try that.Copy !req
136. I don't feel
we're reading as eagles.Copy !req
137. No, bro. We look like assholes.Copy !req
138. They didn't turn out
the way that I had envisioned.Copy !req
139. I'm getting more
of a chicken vibe.Copy !req
140. Oh, hey, Dee.Copy !req
141. You know,
you and me palling around.Copy !req
142. Getting nuts. Doing crazy...Copy !req
143. I'm not doing any kind of thingsCopy !req
144. that you want me to do with you,
Uncle Jack.Copy !req
145. And action.Copy !req
146. I'll read the words you wrote.Copy !req
147. "Hello, fellow American.Copy !req
148. "This you should vote me.Copy !req
149. "I leave power. Good.Copy !req
150. Thank you."Copy !req
151. Thank you.Copy !req
152. "Taxes, they'll be lower... son.Copy !req
153. "The Democratic vote for me
is right thing to do,Copy !req
154. Philadelphia, so do."Copy !req
155. I'm gonna gun this car
as fast as it goesCopy !req
156. - directly into that wall.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
157. The last possible second,
we jump out to safety,Copy !req
158. and we're dead to the world.Copy !req
159. Okeydokey. Good luck with that.Copy !req
160. Wait, where are you going, dude?Copy !req
161. Well, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna watch you do it.Copy !req
162. - No, we need to do it together.
- I'm not really doing anything.Copy !req
163. Well, yes, you are, Charlie. You're here
for moral support on top of that.Copy !req
164. I know, but if no one's actually seeing usCopy !req
165. jump out of the car, whatever,
it's not exciting.Copy !req
166. Well, it's... We're gonna kill
ourselves together.Copy !req
167. - I'm gonna watch you. All right.
- Get out, get out, get out!Copy !req
168. I'll do it myself. Get out!Copy !req
169. The whole thing's really better
without me anyway, Mac.Copy !req
170. I'm telling you,
it's gonna be great without me.Copy !req
171. - All right, buddy, good luck.
- Pussy.Copy !req
172. Mac?Copy !req
173. Holy shit, dude!Copy !req
174. - Are you all right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
175. - Why didn't you jump out?
- I'm okay.Copy !req
176. Hey, dude, I can't...
I-I can't...Copy !req
177. I can't do any
of this shit anymore.Copy !req
178. - Okay? I'm... I'm leaving.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
179. No, hold on a second.
You can't just leave.Copy !req
180. - Dennis.
- Yeah, dude. What-what about us?Copy !req
181. I mean, what about...
what about the bar?Copy !req
182. Good-bye, Paddy's Pub.Copy !req
183. Good-bye, Philadelphia.
Good-bye, Charlie.Copy !req
184. Mac, Dee, Frank.Copy !req
185. The bar is done.Copy !req
186. Good-bye, Philadelphia.Copy !req
187. Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Hold on a second. What...?Copy !req
188. - What the hell was that?
- Yeah.Copy !req
189. What was that?
I am not an ostrich.Copy !req
190. Yeah. No, no, no, that's not
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
191. I'm talking
about the last memoryCopy !req
192. where Mac turned the lights off
to the bar.Copy !req
193. Yeah, what about it?Copy !req
194. Well, that never happened.
I-I turned the lights off.Copy !req
195. No, that's not
how I remember it.Copy !req
196. No, Mac,
that's not what happened.Copy !req
197. - Yeah, thank you, Dee.
- Pretty sure I turned the lights off.Copy !req
198. Oh, right. Yes, it was you,
and then I flipped them back on.Copy !req
199. Yeah. Yeah, and I was like,
"No! Get him out here.Copy !req
200. - Let him go."
- Yeah, actually, we did a great bit.Copy !req
201. No, no. Wait, wait. No, guys.
No, remember?Copy !req
202. I quit the bar,Copy !req
203. I moved to North Dakota,
and I shut the lights off.Copy !req
204. Wait. You went to North Dakota?Copy !req
205. I don't remember Dennis leaving.Copy !req
206. Wait. No. Goddamn it.
Come on, guys.Copy !req
207. The... Look,
this is how it went down, okay?Copy !req
208. Good-bye, Paddy's Pub.Copy !req
209. Good-bye, Philadelphia.
Good-bye, Charlie.Copy !req
210. Mac, Dee, Frank.Copy !req
211. The bar is done.Copy !req
212. Stop sucking and go.Copy !req
213. Stop sucking and go.Copy !req
214. - So was, uh... sneaking that...
- No.Copy !req
215. - Yeah. I told you. Yeah, wasn't that good?
- Yeah, right.Copy !req
216. Okay, now, see,Copy !req
217. now you're infecting my memory
with your memory,Copy !req
218. and I can't even remember
my own life correctly.Copy !req
219. - Yeah.
- I think you are remembering it right.Copy !req
220. - Yeah.
- It was a pretty good pickCopy !req
221. - now that I remember it.
- Guys, no, can we not do this?Copy !req
222. Can we not start messing
with each other's memories?Copy !req
223. Okay? Distorting facts, like,
basically changes history.Copy !req
224. You know what?
It's like fake news, you know?Copy !req
225. And then, all of a sudden,
nobody knows what the truth is,Copy !req
226. and facts don't matter.
Guys, it's a slippery slope.Copy !req
227. Okay, okay, you know what?Copy !req
228. Fine. Let's try
to remember somethingCopy !req
229. we all know for sure happened
like, um...Copy !req
230. like The Nightman Cometh.Copy !req
231. - What the hell was that?
- Huh?Copy !req
232. - What was that?
- Oh, I'm just rememberingCopy !req
233. when I-I told Mac
I was gonna cut the song.Copy !req
234. Right, but why was that memory
in a different language?Copy !req
235. Oh, shit.
You know what's happening?Copy !req
236. All right,
now I'm getting confused,Copy !req
237. 'cause I was remembering the
time that I spoke Chinese, so...Copy !req
238. - You never spoke Chinese.
- Yeah.Copy !req
239. Yeah, I did. They gave me a magic pill,
and I learned it, and I speak it fluently.Copy !req
240. - No.
- Mm, no, they didn't.Copy !req
241. - Mm-mm.
- Uh, no, buddy.Copy !req
242. Oh, by the way, we're getting
way off track here.Copy !req
243. - What-what is happening?
- Yeah.Copy !req
244. Oh, why don't we remember
all the timesCopy !req
245. that somebody didn't know
what was happening.Copy !req
246. A business opportunity as rareCopy !req
247. as the albani berries
themselves.Copy !req
248. What's happening?Copy !req
249. What is happening?Copy !req
250. "His name was Dennis."Copy !req
251. - I'm-I'm sorry. What is happ...?
- Silence.Copy !req
252. - What is happening?
- We don't know.Copy !req
253. Come on now!Copy !req
254. - What is happening?
- What is happening?Copy !req
255. Reliving old memories
is so fun.Copy !req
256. I'm having a blast.Copy !req
257. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, guys,
I got oneCopy !req
258. I think we can all remember—
the contest.Copy !req
259. - Oh, the contest.
- The contest.Copy !req
260. - Ooh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
261. Okay. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
262. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
263. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
264. Well, where's my money?
Who caved?Copy !req
265. - Not me.
- Not me.Copy !req
266. - No.
- Hmm. What are you guys looking at?Copy !req
267. Oh, there's a naked woman
across the street.Copy !req
268. This is gonna be the easiest
money I've ever made.Copy !req
269. So my friend Joyce is teaching
an exercise class.Copy !req
270. I think I'm gonna go tonight.Copy !req
271. Uh, the waitress
should have taken it back.Copy !req
272. So then, um,
I got a call this morning.Copy !req
273. You know, I was, uh...Copy !req
274. I was chosen to go
on the space shuttle.Copy !req
275. We're going to Mars.Copy !req
276. - Uh-huh.
- Have a good time.Copy !req
277. I'm out!Copy !req
278. That was, like,Copy !req
279. one of the best memories
of all time.Copy !req
280. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
281. - Well, yeah, it's a classic really, and...
- Yeah.Copy !req
282. - It was so Jewish. Really.
- Yeah, uh...Copy !req
283. Yeah, it is. It is.
The only thing is, though,Copy !req
284. is that that wasn't us.Copy !req
285. What are you talking about?
Of course it was us. We just...Copy !req
286. - They just...
- Yeah, the whole...Copy !req
287. - We're in the apartment.
- Yeah, I'm forgetting.Copy !req
288. When did we live in New York City?Copy !req
289. - God, when was that?
- Oh. Oh, uh...Copy !req
290. - It was like mid-'90s, right?
- '90s, yeah.Copy !req
291. - Early '90s.
- Early '90s?Copy !req
292. Is that right? Yeah,
when we were in high school?Copy !req
293. - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Were we?Copy !req
294. And-and-and who were
those people laughing?Copy !req
295. - Fans.
- Oh, the fans.Copy !req
296. - The fans.
- Yeah.Copy !req
297. - Right.
- The fans?Copy !req
298. - Fans.
- The fans. Guys...Copy !req
299. You guys are remembering
an episode of Seinfeld.Copy !req
300. - Oh, my God.
- Oh!Copy !req
301. - That's it.
- That's what it is.Copy !req
302. - Whoa.
- That's what it is.Copy !req
303. - Yeah.
- Memories are tricky.Copy !req
304. - Yeah.
- Wait, wait, wait, but when we sawCopy !req
305. - that episode, we had our own contest.
- Yeah. No.Copy !req
306. - That's what it is.
- That's right.Copy !req
307. - We did that contest.
- That's what you were trying to remember.Copy !req
308. - Uh-huh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
309. We had our own contest,
except ours wasCopy !req
310. to see who could masturbate
the mostCopy !req
311. in a 24-hour period.Copy !req
312. Yeah, that, uh... that-that
landed us in the hospital.Copy !req
313. Your penises have suffered
severe abrasions.Copy !req
314. The skin has been all but
removed from the organs.Copy !req
315. I've... I've never seen
anything like it.Copy !req
316. And my vagina?Copy !req
317. I'm afraid it's been, uh...Copy !req
318. - obliterated.
- Yeah.Copy !req
319. No. no, no, no.
You guys are doing it again.Copy !req
320. You're misremembering. Okay,
that's... that is not how thatCopy !req
321. went down, okay?
And that doctor— he...Copy !req
322. That's not even a real doctor.Copy !req
323. That guy was like a figment
of my imaginationCopy !req
324. from when we got stuck
in the convenience store.Copy !req
325. Well, then you must have
described it to me perfectly,Copy !req
326. - because I remember the dude.
- Yeah, well, look,Copy !req
327. you can't do this, okay?Copy !req
328. Every time
you misremember something,Copy !req
329. like, run the risk
of altering reality.Copy !req
330. - Altering reality?
- Yeah, uh, yes. I'm just say...Copy !req
331. I'm saying, like,
how you remember somethingCopy !req
332. sort of, like, becomes reality.Copy !req
333. You're saying
I can change reality.Copy !req
334. Yeah, well, no,
I'm not saying...Copy !req
335. No, it doesn't change reality.
Reality is reality.Copy !req
336. I'm just saying
it becomes your reality.Copy !req
337. Charlie?Copy !req
338. I wanted to talk to you
about the other night.Copy !req
339. Oh.Copy !req
340. Cool. Wh-Which night, though?Copy !req
341. 'Cause there's been
a lot of nights.Copy !req
342. The night we had sex.Copy !req
343. - Oh, that night.
- Yeah.Copy !req
344. That was...
that was a great night.Copy !req
345. It was.Copy !req
346. And I'm pregnant.Copy !req
347. Wow, like...Copy !req
348. is it mine?Copy !req
349. Yep.Copy !req
350. - Huh.
- Okay, I have...Copy !req
351. I have so many problems
with that.Copy !req
352. Come on, man, I'm just trying
to, like, remember, like,Copy !req
353. something about the waitress
so I can alter my reality.Copy !req
354. You get it. Like, having a baby,
being back together.Copy !req
355. Then again,
that-that's not remembering,Copy !req
356. that's just making stuff up.
Also, I have a problemCopy !req
357. with how you were attempting
to remember, you know,Copy !req
358. the way you were just
watching yourself watch yourselfCopy !req
359. through the door, like the...Copy !req
360. like the Ghost of Christmas Past
or something.Copy !req
361. - Well, that's just how everyone remembers.
- Mm-mm.Copy !req
362. - No, no, it's not.
- Nobody does.Copy !req
363. But it doesn't matter anyway,
because it's not likeCopy !req
364. he can change reality, right?Copy !req
365. Charlie? Give me a hand
with this kid, would you?Copy !req
366. His diaper smells
like a homeless manCopy !req
367. took a dump in it.Copy !req
368. Oh, shit, that's a baby.Copy !req
369. Wait, wait, wait.
What the hell is this?Copy !req
370. Holy shit, it worked!Copy !req
371. I did it! I did it!Copy !req
372. - Charlie! Come on!
- I'm coming.Copy !req
373. Geez, I'm carrying,
like, a million things.Copy !req
374. - Whoa! Oh! What the hell?
- Two Charlies?Copy !req
375. Well, it's not like the baby's
gonna drop dead just 'cause I'mCopy !req
376. two seconds behind you
coming into the bar.Copy !req
377. Wait a second.
Maybe by watching yourselfCopy !req
378. watch yourself,
you created two Charlies?Copy !req
379. That's not good.Copy !req
380. Hey! Hey, you, man!Copy !req
381. Look, that-that's my girl.
That's my kid.Copy !req
382. You got to get
out of here, dude.Copy !req
383. Oh, my God, there's two of you?Copy !req
384. Okay, well, one of you has
to change this baby's diaper,Copy !req
385. 'cause I need to go get drunk.Copy !req
386. Are you gonna...
Oh, dude. Thanks a lot, man.Copy !req
387. Wait, wait, wait.
Why is your voice so high?Copy !req
388. My voice is high? I'm the one
with the normal voice.Copy !req
389. You're the one
with the high voice, dude.Copy !req
390. I have a high voice?Copy !req
391. You're telling me
I have a high voice?Copy !req
392. Yeah,
your voice is crazy sounding!Copy !req
393. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
394. - Oh, it's hearing itself.
- Do you even hear yourself, bro?Copy !req
395. This is bizarre.Copy !req
396. Look, it doesn't matter, man.
You got to get lost, all right?Copy !req
397. - There can only be one of us.
- Oh, please,Copy !req
398. please let me get lost.Copy !req
399. You know what?
Take the kid, take the girl.Copy !req
400. I'll go back to living
with Frank, 'cause I miss him.Copy !req
401. Aw. Charlie, that is so nice.Copy !req
402. I miss you, too.Copy !req
403. Wait, wait, wait, this
isn't right, this isn't right.Copy !req
404. We must not be back in reality.Copy !req
405. We must still be
in somebody's memory.Copy !req
406. - Oh, yeah? Like whose?
- Like whose?Copy !req
407. - Don't copy me.
- I don't know.Copy !req
408. Wait.Copy !req
409. Frank, why do you have hair?Copy !req
410. - I've always had hair.
- Bullshit, Frank. You have n...Copy !req
411. You know what, we're in his head
right now. That's why Charlie 2Copy !req
412. was talking about wanting
to go back to living with him.Copy !req
413. It's insane; Charlie already
went back to living with me.Copy !req
414. - We're not in my head.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
415. - Nah. Uh-uh.
- Then why are your legs so long?Copy !req
416. My legs have always been long.
It's a burden being tall.Copy !req
417. Ah, bullshit, Frank.
We're in your head.Copy !req
418. Get us out of there.
Come on, man.Copy !req
419. - Ah...
- Ah, yeah.Copy !req
420. Oh, you couldn't let me
have that memory?Copy !req
421. No, Frank, because it wasn't
a memory, it was a fantasy.Copy !req
422. I liked the two me's. That was
a really cool angle, though.Copy !req
423. - That was good.
- Yeah, okay, fine, but th...Copy !req
424. Can we not go there, please?Copy !req
425. All right? For Christ's sakes,
we can't even just sit aroundCopy !req
426. having memories without things
getting out of hand.Copy !req
427. Well, at least we're not being
lazy, right? We're coming upCopy !req
428. - with new stuff.
- Yeah, all right, all right, okay,Copy !req
429. let's stop, okay?
We-we had our fun,Copy !req
430. now we're back to reality,
a-and let's just,Copy !req
431. I'd like to keep it that way, so...Copy !req
432. Yeah, software update's
almost done anyway.Copy !req
433. - Oh, nice.
- Okay, good, well... Wait.Copy !req
434. - Dee.
- What?Copy !req
435. Where's your cut?Copy !req
436. What cut?Copy !req
437. The giant, gaping cut that
was-was just on your forehead.Copy !req
438. - Where is it?
- Oh. I don't... I don't know.Copy !req
439. Is she changing reality?Copy !req
440. I don't know. I don't know
what it means, okay?Copy !req
441. But I do know
that we're not backCopy !req
442. in the real reality,
and that's not good.Copy !req
443. Wait a second. Are we not?
Like, are you sureCopy !req
444. she actually fell,
that that actually happened?Copy !req
445. I don't know.
I don't know. I mean,Copy !req
446. this is so disorienting.
I don't know.Copy !req
447. - Dee, snap us back.
- I can't. I'm trying.Copy !req
448. All right, all right, wha-what
if it's not that much different?Copy !req
449. You know?
Like, what if this reality,Copy !req
450. the only difference is that Dee
doesn't have a cut on her head?Copy !req
451. - Is that that big of a deal?
- Yes, it's a big deal.Copy !req
452. You're talking
about never knowingCopy !req
453. which reality you're living in.Copy !req
454. Okay, you know what? We need to,
we need to orient ourselves.Copy !req
455. Um... Frank.Copy !req
456. - Yeah?
- Are you tall and handsomeCopy !req
457. with a full head of hair?Copy !req
458. I like to think so, but no.Copy !req
459. No. Good.
Okay, so, Charlie,Copy !req
460. is the waitress
in love with you?Copy !req
461. Aw, I had her
for a minute, but no.Copy !req
462. Great. Uh, Dee,
are you a successful actress?Copy !req
463. Oh, I could have been.Copy !req
464. Dee, be serious! Yes or no?Copy !req
465. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
466. Mac, um, are you my roommate?Copy !req
467. - No, of course not.
- Oh!Copy !req
468. - Okay, well, so there it is.
- There we go.Copy !req
469. - All right, Mac, it's clearly you...
- Oh.Copy !req
470. so snap us out of it, man.Copy !req
471. No. W-We're not in my head.
I swear.Copy !req
472. Yes, we are, man.
We're in your head.Copy !req
473. You're trying to alter reality.Copy !req
474. Dude, if we were in my head,Copy !req
475. why would I not want you
to be my roommate?Copy !req
476. - But...
- Ah...Copy !req
477. - Oh, I get it.
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
478. - Dennis, we're in your head, aren't we?
- Yeah.Copy !req
479. - Yeah.
- No. Why would we be in my head?Copy !req
480. Dennis, everyone knows
that the most annoying personCopy !req
481. - in the world is Mac.
- Huh?Copy !req
482. So why would you ever want
to live with him?Copy !req
483. No, that's not— I—
No, he's great as a roommate.Copy !req
484. - Is he great?
- Yeah, he's great.Copy !req
485. Name one way.Copy !req
486. Yeah, easy. He, um...Copy !req
487. - Oh, your head, yeah! So yeah.
- Okay, fine, damn it,Copy !req
488. I was trying to, yeah,
get rid of him.Copy !req
489. So you don't like living
with me, Dennis?Copy !req
490. Oh, no, I...
no, I love having a roommateCopy !req
491. who spends three hours a day
on a dildo bike.Copy !req
492. Guys, see, this is, this is
why I didn't want to do this.Copy !req
493. You know?
No good can come of it.Copy !req
494. - It doesn't feel good.
- It has been kind of messy,Copy !req
495. like, you know,
it's been confusing, for sure.Copy !req
496. So let's just... we just...
so now we just got to make sureCopy !req
497. - we're-we're back in reality.
- Yeah, but how do you ever knowCopy !req
498. - if you're in reality?
- You know what?Copy !req
499. I think I got a top here
under the bar. Yeah, I do. I do.Copy !req
500. - A top under the bar?
- Top? What do you do with a top?Copy !req
501. - So?
- Well, a top.Copy !req
502. Didn't you guys
see the movie Inception?Copy !req
503. - You know, they spin the top,
- No.Copy !req
504. and see, the thing is,
if we aren't in reality,Copy !req
505. - then the top will just spin forever.
- Yeah.Copy !req
506. But if it wobbles and falls,Copy !req
507. then you know you're back in reality.Copy !req
508. - Should we give it a spin?
- Yeah, let's do it.Copy !req
509. - Sure.
- Let's see.Copy !req
510. Seems like that's gonna go
for a while, though.Copy !req
511. - It does, it seems like it's gonna...
- There you go.Copy !req
512. - Gave it a hell of a spin there.
- Yeah!Copy !req
513. Yeah! Well, it's a good,
it's a quality top.Copy !req
514. Oh.Copy !req
515. - Oh, our phones are updated.
- Oh, for real?Copy !req
516. - Oh!
- There we go!Copy !req
517. - Oh, sweet!
- Ah...Copy !req
518. - Finally.
- Um...Copy !req
519. Thank God we're back to normal.Copy !req
520. Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBHCopy !req