1. Oh, that's fresh, dude.
Yeah, that's real nice.Copy !req
2. Seriously, you're gonna bring
that up again? Jerry, Jerry,Copy !req
3. Jerry... I'm so sick of hearing
about Jerry, man.Copy !req
4. - Everything is "Jerry" out of you mouth.
- Hey, hey, hey, uh,Copy !req
5. Ch-Charlie, I need a new keg.Copy !req
6. - This one's tapped, buddy.
- Yeah, give me a second.Copy !req
7. Like, if Jerry jumped off a
bridge would you jump off it, too?Copy !req
8. - Which bridge?
- Guys, guys...Copy !req
9. - Which bridge, really?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
10. Guys, guys, please stop arguing, okay?
Can you just...Copy !req
11. can you do your jobs today?
We got a bunch of customers in here.Copy !req
12. I want to take advantage of it.Copy !req
13. Look, can you just tell him
to get rid of Jerry first?Copy !req
14. I'm sorry,
I don't even know who that is.Copy !req
15. - My tapeworm.
- You have a tapeworm?Copy !req
16. - Yeah, he got a worm.
- Yeah. Got a tapeworm.Copy !req
17. And you named it?Copy !req
18. - Jerry.
- Jerry.Copy !req
19. Yeah, okay, great. Look, guys,
can we not do this?Copy !req
20. Can we not talk about worms
or sewers or rats today, with all theseCopy !req
21. people in here?
We got a good thing going.Copy !req
22. - Charlie, new keg.
- Well, I just think maybe I'm a little sensitiveCopy !req
23. because it's Valentine's
Day and I don't reallyCopy !req
24. want to hear about Jerry all day long.Copy !req
25. But, yeah, fine, what do you want...Copy !req
26. you want me to put pink ink in
the beer or something,Copy !req
27. - make it all inky and pink?
- I... No, no, no, no.Copy !req
28. I don't want to do
Valentine's Day shit, okay?Copy !req
29. I don't want to do that.
All right, look, all these peopleCopy !req
30. are in here today because they
don't have people who love themCopy !req
31. and get them shit on Valentine's Day.
All right?Copy !req
32. So, can we not remind them
of that with inky beer?Copy !req
33. All right, fine. Can you just
tell him to get lost, then?Copy !req
34. And then we'll go back
to the way things were.Copy !req
35. - Who?
- Jerry.Copy !req
36. - The worm?
- Yeah.Copy !req
37. It's an intestinal parasite,
incapable of complex thought.Copy !req
38. You just described my ex-husband.Copy !req
39. - Oh...
- Oh...Copy !req
40. - Yeah, he's a...
- He can't think, yeah.Copy !req
41. That's pretty funny.Copy !req
42. - Hey, Dee! Yeah!
- All right, Dee!Copy !req
43. Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee!Copy !req
44. Dee is in the house, uh,
Dee is in the house,Copy !req
45. - uh, Dee is in the house.
- Oh... - Oh...Copy !req
46. - Thanks for the chant, guys. What's up?
- Yeah, no,Copy !req
47. we were talking about the new Dee,
the funny one.Copy !req
48. - Her?
- Yeah.Copy !req
49. - Yeah.
- Why are you calling her Dee?Copy !req
50. Oh, well, she's like a new regular.
She's been coming in here.Copy !req
51. You know, trying
to make her feel more at home.Copy !req
52. - It's a nickname, short for Dottie.
- Then call her Dot.Copy !req
53. Nah, we already started calling
her Dee and it kind of stuck.Copy !req
54. You know, can't really change it now.
It's locked in.Copy !req
55. That's my nickname, bitch.
Don't you take my nickname.Copy !req
56. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
57. - You bitch! Get out of here!
- What are you...Copy !req
58. Don't-don't yell at the customers, okay?Copy !req
59. Look, we got a good thing
going here, all right?Copy !req
60. We got a bunch of new customers in here.Copy !req
61. We got a regular,
we might get more regulars.Copy !req
62. - Let's not screw this up.
- Guys, guys.Copy !req
63. - I've got news, I've got glorious news.
- Oh!Copy !req
64. Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!Copy !req
65. Mac is in the house,
Mac is in the house.Copy !req
66. Thanks for the chant, guys.
Listen, I need everybodyCopy !req
67. to drop everything and
come out to the back alley.Copy !req
68. There is an unopened crate out there.Copy !req
69. - An un... an unopened crate?
- Crate? Oh! - Crate?Copy !req
70. - Hey, there's a crate!
- Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
71. - We got a crate.
- Let's go!Copy !req
72. - We have a crate.
- No.Copy !req
73. - What, what?
- Stop, hey, stop!Copy !req
74. - What? What?
- Stop! Stop.Copy !req
75. We got a bar full of customers here.Copy !req
76. So what? Oh! Oh, shit, okay,
okay, you know what I'll do?Copy !req
77. Um, I can put a fan
next to the yuck puddle,Copy !req
78. - and the smell's gonna clear everybody out.
- Oh!Copy !req
79. I don't want to clear everybody out.
I'm sayingCopy !req
80. why are we running out
of the bar to-to lookCopy !req
81. - in some dumb crate?
- Well, it's not about the crate.Copy !req
82. It's about the mystery of
what's inside the crateCopy !req
83. - that gets us.
- Yeah, the straw.Copy !req
84. - Yeah. Well, not the straw, though.
- No.Copy !req
85. - Not the straw?
- No, not the straw.Copy !req
86. - Whatever's in the crate, like...
- Oh.Copy !req
87. - Yeah, it's worth a look.
- It's not worth a look.Copy !req
88. It's trash. There's nothing in there.
There never is.Copy !req
89. This is what I'm saying. Why...Copy !req
90. We're always running outside,Copy !req
91. out into the world,
looking for riches and treasuresCopy !req
92. when we've got everything
we need right here.Copy !req
93. Oh, you're saying we do, like,
a booze for money type scheme.Copy !req
94. That's good. Who came up with that?Copy !req
95. - Oh. Was it me?
- Who came up with that?Copy !req
96. Whoever invented the idea of a bar.Copy !req
97. Which is what we decided to do years agoCopy !req
98. when we bought this goddamn place.
So, can we please,Copy !req
99. for once in our lives,
not go chasing after crates?Copy !req
100. You know, and talk about worms?Copy !req
101. Right?
Yelling at the customers and shit?Copy !req
102. Can we just do the one
thing we've never tried?Copy !req
103. Can we just do our jobs?Copy !req
104. '89, good.Copy !req
105. Damn drunks.Copy !req
106. Rum and Coke, tequila soda.Copy !req
107. Pay me.Copy !req
108. All right, that's gonna be five.Copy !req
109. Out of 20.Copy !req
110. Yup.Copy !req
111. Aw, she wants another mojito.Copy !req
112. Looks like our regular's
got herself a usual.Copy !req
113. You bet.Copy !req
114. Yo. I am all done with my work.Copy !req
115. Can we go check out that crate now?Copy !req
116. What? You're not done.Copy !req
117. Shit, how'd you know?Copy !req
118. Because the bar's still open.Copy !req
119. You're not done till we close.Copy !req
120. Hey, what do you say you
and me go out the backCopy !req
121. and check out that crate.
Just the two of us...Copy !req
122. No one else has to know.
Just to get it off our minds.Copy !req
123. It's not on my mind, okay?
Let it go. Christ, five peopleCopy !req
124. have walked in here since we
started this conversation.Copy !req
125. Can you go check their IDs
so we don't get anotherCopy !req
126. underage drinking
situation on our hands?Copy !req
127. - Just got my mind on that crate.
- Right, well,Copy !req
128. - get your mind on your job.
- Done, done, done.Copy !req
129. - Done with my work.
- Oh, Christ, they're like dominoes.Copy !req
130. Frank, you're not doneCopy !req
131. - until the end of the day.
- I already cooked the books.Copy !req
132. How about you don't cook the
books so we can actually tellCopy !req
133. - how the business is doing?
- Oh, well...Copy !req
134. It's crazy. How are we ever gonna...Copy !req
135. Oh, the soda gun's clogged.Copy !req
136. Dude, can you go clear the lines for me?Copy !req
137. Trick Charlie into doing it.Copy !req
138. Well, I want you to do it.Copy !req
139. I can't trick Charlie.Copy !req
140. Charlie's pretending to ignore me
because he's jealous of Jerry.Copy !req
141. I-I don't want you to trick Charlie.Copy !req
142. - I want you to clear the lines.
- Speaking of Jerry...Copy !req
143. - Break time.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
144. Lunch.Copy !req
145. I'm craving salty,Copy !req
146. but Jerry likes sweet.Copy !req
147. What are you doing? Don't-don't
reach your hands directly in the...Copy !req
148. - This is sweet.
- Oh, Jesus Christ, get out of here,Copy !req
149. Frank, you're an animal.Copy !req
150. He won't stop eating,Copy !req
151. - yet he's just wasting away.
- Yeah.Copy !req
152. I mean, can you believe them?Copy !req
153. You know, I can't even play
Night Crawlers with him anymoreCopy !req
154. 'cause he doesn't want to offend Jerry.Copy !req
155. I'm gonna stop you there,
Charlie, becauseCopy !req
156. I've exhausted my daily quota
of worm talk and worm-related issues.Copy !req
157. - What are you doing?
- Yeah.Copy !req
158. - Don't reach your hands in there!
- Why not?Copy !req
159. Jesus Christ... Oh, God. Look,Copy !req
160. can you just... can you please
go clear the lines for me?Copy !req
161. Are they clogged?Copy !req
162. Yeah.Copy !req
163. - Just trick Dee into it.
- It's not a tri...Copy !req
164. See, this is the problem.
You guys all think that workCopy !req
165. is tricking people. It's not.
It's just your job.Copy !req
166. So, can you please go do it?
In all the timeCopy !req
167. that we've talked about tricking
each other into doing our jobsCopy !req
168. we could've made 1,000 drinks.Copy !req
169. Yeah, maybe.Copy !req
170. All right, let me see if I can
trick Mac into it first.Copy !req
171. Don't trick anybody, just do it...
Oh, goddamn.Copy !req
172. I need two shots of whiskey.Copy !req
173. Two shots of whiskey. Okay, yes, nice.Copy !req
174. Finally, somebody's actually working.Copy !req
175. You know what, I appreciate that, Dee.Copy !req
176. - I appreciate you.
- All right, what are you doing?Copy !req
177. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
178. - That was a big one. Thank you.
- The other one, too.Copy !req
179. Yeah, that's what this is. Okay, so,Copy !req
180. clearly, you're not busy,
so, I need somebodyCopy !req
181. to clear the lines.
The soda gun's clogged.Copy !req
182. Did Charlie ask you to trick me?Copy !req
183. Trick you? No, the... It's not a trick.Copy !req
184. The soda gun is clogged,
I cannot make drinks.Copy !req
185. I don't know.
I don't trust Charlie today.Copy !req
186. You know, I made him a valentine...Copy !req
187. He hasn't given me shit yet in return.Copy !req
188. Why the hell did you do that?
We don't do valentines anymore.Copy !req
189. I know, but we used to, and it was fun,
you know? It was a goof.Copy !req
190. It wasn't a goof. You guys were
supposed to give valentine'sCopy !req
191. cards to each other, but instead
you were just sticking hate mailCopy !req
192. in a suggestion box covered in hearts.Copy !req
193. I'll give it to you, though...
it got a little nasty at the end.Copy !req
194. A-A little bit nasty?Copy !req
195. One of you put anthrax in the box.Copy !req
196. Or do you not remember
the anthrax scare?Copy !req
197. Oh, ho, I remember the anthrax scare.Copy !req
198. To many,
9/18 was the delivery world's 9/11.Copy !req
199. That's a good point.
No, I'm talking aboutCopy !req
200. a different anthrax scare,
but it shouldn't concern you.Copy !req
201. - Stop it!
- She just talks too much.Copy !req
202. - Hey-oh!
- Oh!Copy !req
203. - Cricket!
- Cricket!Copy !req
204. - Cricket!
- Hey, you guys mindCopy !req
205. if I go in the bathroom
and smoke some PCP?Copy !req
206. - No, dude, you do you!
- Go for it.Copy !req
207. You do you!Copy !req
208. - You do you!
- You do you!Copy !req
209. We don't judge, Cricket, we don't judge.Copy !req
210. What are you doing? Guys, guys, guys,
what in the hell are you doing?Copy !req
211. - Cricket.
- Cricket.Copy !req
212. Yeah, Cricket. This has got to stop,
you guys. This is nuts.Copy !req
213. We can't go around
encouraging homeless menCopy !req
214. to smoke PCP in our restrooms,Copy !req
215. you know, trying to trick
each other into doing our jobsCopy !req
216. and getting fired up at the-the
mere mention of a crate.Copy !req
217. - Oh, but it's just such a mystery, isn't it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
218. - Cool crate.
- It's a big box.Copy !req
219. Yeah, yeah, it really isn't though.
It's just trash.Copy !req
220. It's trash that somebody left behind.Copy !req
221. Hey, but if it's mystery you want,Copy !req
222. you know, what about the
mystery of the yuck puddle?Copy !req
223. What the hell is that thing, you know?
Why won't it dry up?Copy !req
224. Why won't it harden?Copy !req
225. It shifts. I've seen it shift.Copy !req
226. He's seen it shift.
You see, we shouldn't haveCopy !req
227. an amorphous shifting blob
in the bar, you know?Copy !req
228. So why don't you and Mac go solveCopy !req
229. that goddamn mystery
by cleaning it up, you know?Copy !req
230. And, oh, what about the mystery
of the clogged soda gun,Copy !req
231. you know? Dee, why don't
you and Frank go solveCopy !req
232. that mystery by clearing the lines?Copy !req
233. Well, that's-that's not such a mystery.Copy !req
234. And we could probably trick
Cricket into doing it.Copy !req
235. Oh, why don't we just trick...Copy !req
236. Cricket doesn't work here though.Copy !req
237. - But that's free labor.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
238. - That's kind of better.
- Get him for free.Copy !req
239. You're not... you're not getting...Copy !req
240. Hey, just do your jobs!Copy !req
241. Just do your jobs.Copy !req
242. Why isn't it getting any smaller?Copy !req
243. Can I be honest, dude?
I think this thing's alive.Copy !req
244. Oh, that must be what
all the bubbling's about,Copy !req
245. 'cause it's, like,
trying to communicate.Copy !req
246. It definitely feeds.
I-I've found bones in it, man.Copy !req
247. - So it wants to live.
- Yeah, dude, I don't knowCopy !req
248. what I'm gonna do during
the next inspection,Copy !req
249. 'cause I-I can't get rid of this thing.Copy !req
250. So Dennis has sent us
in here to do the impossible.Copy !req
251. Absolutely. Dude, what is
going on with him, right?Copy !req
252. Like, there's got to be something
in this whole "do your job" angle.Copy !req
253. 'Cause that doesn't
sound like Dennis to me,Copy !req
254. - you know what I mean?
- I know, dude.Copy !req
255. He's acting, like, so weird,
especially towards me.Copy !req
256. I think it's because I'm gay
and he's, like,Copy !req
257. - totally uncomfortable with it.
- Y...Copy !req
258. Well, no, 'cause he's known that
forever, so it's, you know...Copy !req
259. Well, he may have suspected it before,
but there's no wayCopy !req
260. he could have known for sure.
'Cause I show no outward signsCopy !req
261. of being gay, and that's just
the end of the story, all right?Copy !req
262. But, look, either way, he's been acting
very distant towards me,Copy !req
263. and I feel like he sent me in
here to punish me or something,Copy !req
264. because, I agree, the whole,
like, "do your job" angleCopy !req
265. - just seems, like, totally out of the blue, and, like...
- It's, like, a bullshit thing, right?Copy !req
266. - Like...
- Unless... Oh, my God.Copy !req
267. What?Copy !req
268. Charlie, he doesn't want us
to work at all.Copy !req
269. - He doesn't?
- No.Copy !req
270. He doesn't want us to
mop up the yuck puddle.Copy !req
271. - He wants us to "mop up the yuck puddle."
- Oh!Copy !req
272. Of emotions.Copy !req
273. Of what?Copy !req
274. - It's a metaphor.
- For what?Copy !req
275. He wants us to talk through our
personal issues and be more openCopy !req
276. with our feelings because
it's Valentine's Day.Copy !req
277. Oh! Weird. That doesn't
sound like Dennis, but, uh...Copy !req
278. - Go with me here, dude.
- Okay.Copy !req
279. Valentine's Day is an entire
day dedicated to feelings,Copy !req
280. - something that Dennis doesn't have.
- Right, that's true.Copy !req
281. And so that's why he hates
Valentine's Day so much.Copy !req
282. But he's entrusted me,
because I'm a gay manCopy !req
283. - and clearly more sensitive than the rest of you,
- Well, no,Copy !req
284. - to break down those walls.
- but okay. All right.Copy !req
285. - All right, cool. Yeah, yeah.
- Yes, okay, so I'll share first.Copy !req
286. - Okay.
- Okay. I have a huge surpriseCopy !req
287. for Dennis, but I feel like he's
not emotionally available to...Copy !req
288. Uh, uh, Frank's gonna
leave me for Jerry, man.Copy !req
289. Oh, uh, I was talking. But, uh,Copy !req
290. I guess we'll, um...
we'll do your thing first.Copy !req
291. You know he's only doing this
to get a rise out of you, right?Copy !req
292. - Oh, that's so Jerry.
- No,Copy !req
293. not Jerry. Not the worm. Never the worm.Copy !req
294. We're talking about Frank, okay?Copy !req
295. If you just pretend to like the worm,Copy !req
296. then he'll probably just get rid of it.Copy !req
297. Oh, shit. You think so?Copy !req
298. I know so, buddy.Copy !req
299. - Nice, man. All right.
- Yeah. Okay, now back to my thing.Copy !req
300. - Yeah, that just gave me a great idea.
- If I just give...Copy !req
301. - Thanks, Mac.
- Charlie, if you just...Copy !req
302. You're not gonna let me talk?Copy !req
303. So, uh, you're gay, huh?Copy !req
304. For pay or for free?Copy !req
305. Uh, for free, I guess.Copy !req
306. Chump.Copy !req
307. It's taking forever.Copy !req
308. - Ugh.
- Try sucking on the other end, maybe.Copy !req
309. I'm not sucking on the other end.
Get that shit in my mouth?Copy !req
310. No, thanks. And what the hell's
going on with Dennis?Copy !req
311. Since when does he
care how the bar does?Copy !req
312. I don't know. It doesn't add up.Copy !req
313. I can't get a read on him these days.
He's just always cranky and irritated.Copy !req
314. - Rage-filled, rape-y.
- It's like,Copy !req
315. as the years go by,
he just gets more and more irrational.Copy !req
316. - Yeah, yeah.
- Especially with this whole "work the bar" angle.Copy !req
317. I mean, what is that?Copy !req
318. Unless...Copy !req
319. Oh, my God.Copy !req
320. Dennis doesn't want us to work the bar.Copy !req
321. - He doesn't?
- No!Copy !req
322. He wants us to work on ourselves.Copy !req
323. What the shit are you talking about?Copy !req
324. Just go with me here.
It's Valentine's Day, right,Copy !req
325. a day we all used to love
and enjoy until we turnedCopy !req
326. on each other with the hate mail.Copy !req
327. Dennis wants us to work
through our personal issuesCopy !req
328. so we can enjoy Valentine's Day again.Copy !req
329. - I got it.
- Yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna go first.Copy !req
330. I'm so mad at Charlie,
because I made him a valentine,Copy !req
331. and, you know what,
he didn't even really...Copy !req
332. I gave myself Jerry on purpose.Copy !req
333. Well, I was right in the middle
of a sentence, but... what?Copy !req
334. I gave myself the tapeworm.Copy !req
335. - Well, that is the most disgusting thing I've...
- How, you're wondering.Copy !req
336. No, I don't. No, thanks.Copy !req
337. I bought poop on the dark WebCopy !req
338. and stuffed it up my
butt to lose weight.Copy !req
339. - Jesus Christ. Uh, that's enough.
- Yeah.Copy !req
340. - Well, it took about four ounces of it.
- I-I...Copy !req
341. That's enough! I don't want to know!Copy !req
342. With the tip of a teaspoon.Copy !req
343. - Okay... Frank!
- How else?Copy !req
344. Stop answering questions
I'm not asking, okay?Copy !req
345. - I'm done, I'm done.
- I had to hold my kneesCopy !req
346. above my head for a half hourCopy !req
347. - and clench my sphincter.
- Stop! Stop!Copy !req
348. Charlie, I'm mad,Copy !req
349. - and I think we need to clear the lines.
- Huh?Copy !req
350. - Uh, just-just trick somebody else into it.
- No, that's not what I'm...Copy !req
351. Wh-What are you doing?Copy !req
352. I'm trying to write a valentine.
I just...Copy !req
353. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
354. Uh, okay.
Well, I'll just, uh, let you finish.Copy !req
355. - Didn't mean to interrupt.
- Okay.Copy !req
356. I also got you
a box of chocolates, so...Copy !req
357. Right.Copy !req
358. Oh, oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Dee, Dee, Dee.Copy !req
359. - Yeah.
- Um, c-can you thinkCopy !req
360. of a word that rhymes with "Jerry"?Copy !req
361. - What?
- I can't think of one.Copy !req
362. Are you making a valentine
for Frank's tapeworm?Copy !req
363. Well, not if I can't think of a
word that rhymes with "Jerry."Copy !req
364. - You son of a bitch.
- What?Copy !req
365. - I can't believe you don't know!
- I have no idea!Copy !req
366. Oh, and literally everything
rhymes with "Jerry," okay?Copy !req
367. Scary, hairy, Mother Mary,
quite contrary.Copy !req
368. Woozy, woozy. Woozy from sucking lines.Copy !req
369. - Ho.
- All right, Frank, Frank, Frank,Copy !req
370. before you do another thing,Copy !req
371. - I wanted to give you a valentine.
- Unbelievable!Copy !req
372. Right in front of me?Copy !req
373. - You did?
- Yeah-huh.Copy !req
374. - Charlie. Well...
- Well, it's for both of you guys, but, these,Copy !req
375. - these are just for Jerry.
- No.Copy !req
376. - Charlie. Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
377. - Oh, that's so sweet.
- Look at that.Copy !req
378. - Thank...
- You dick.Copy !req
379. - You shouldn't have. Mmm.
- No! No, he didn't.Copy !req
380. Listen to me, I got these
for him, all right?Copy !req
381. - So no.
- Mmm?Copy !req
382. - I got these.
- Our blood sugar's low. Mmm.Copy !req
383. - Oh, guess what, I bought these for him.
- Mmm...Copy !req
384. You fool!Copy !req
385. - It's so good, Charlie.
- Those chocolatesCopy !req
386. that you're so gleefully devouringCopy !req
387. are chock-full of Bye-Bye Jerry pills.Copy !req
388. You wouldn't.Copy !req
389. Oh, but I would, Frank.Copy !req
390. You see, I knew you'd never
take the pills willingly.Copy !req
391. But Jerry...Copy !req
392. Jerry likes sweet, doesn't he?Copy !req
393. You poisoned me.Copy !req
394. No. No, he poisoned me.Copy !req
395. At worst, you're properly medicated.Copy !req
396. You son of a bitch.Copy !req
397. - Charlie.
- Bye-bye... Jerry!Copy !req
398. I'm poisoned.Copy !req
399. Poisoned! I'm poisoned.Copy !req
400. What are you doing?Copy !req
401. - We've been poisoned.
- No, No.Copy !req
402. No, no, no, nobody's been poisoned.Copy !req
403. - They're just...
- Plenty more poisonCopy !req
404. where that came from!Copy !req
405. - Uh, there is no...
- So, don't even thinkCopy !req
406. about trying to get another worm, Frank.Copy !req
407. And there are no-no worms.Copy !req
408. - Nobody has worms.
- Well, not anymore they don't.Copy !req
409. Don't leave. Please, don't leave.Copy !req
410. Guys, what are you doing?Copy !req
411. Take this discussion someplace else.Copy !req
412. No, I'm good because I've
had a great Valentine's Day.Copy !req
413. Bye-bye, Jerry.Copy !req
414. Are you serious?Copy !req
415. You son of a bitch, Charlie.
You screwed me, okay?Copy !req
416. - What are you talking about?
- You know what...Copy !req
417. screw you, Charlie!Copy !req
418. I'm not gonna let some worm
beat me on Valentine's Day.Copy !req
419. - Don't talk about...
- Why are you going on and on about it?Copy !req
420. I... I did this for you, Charlie.Copy !req
421. What?Copy !req
422. I gave myself Jerry on purpose.Copy !req
423. Why would you do that?Copy !req
424. To slim down for you.Copy !req
425. Why would you...
why would you slim down for me? What?Copy !req
426. Because I overheard you
on the phone saying,Copy !req
427. "He got flabby."Copy !req
428. No, no, no, buddy.
I never said that.Copy !req
429. I sa... I-I-I said you were crabby
because you smelled crabby...Copy !req
430. 'cause you've been eating
all those sewer crabs, man, but..Copy !req
431. - Take it outside.
- It was a compliment. I love when youCopy !req
432. - smell like crab, Frank.
- Take the conversation someplace else.Copy !req
433. Okay? Don't do it here.Copy !req
434. You-you didn't think I was too fat?Copy !req
435. Well, no, you were fat as shit, pal,
but I loved you that way, Frank.Copy !req
436. Fat and crabby.Copy !req
437. So, you want to try and get
this dead worm out of me?Copy !req
438. I would love to pull
that dead worm out of you.Copy !req
439. Yeah? Come on.
Come on, now oh...Copy !req
440. Stop, stop! Goddamn it, stop.
What are you guys doing?Copy !req
441. - Huh?
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
442. - Getting the worm.
- You-you're gonna talkCopy !req
443. about pulling a dead
worm out of his ass?Copy !req
444. Don't do that. Please,
don't talk about these things.Copy !req
445. Now, by the grace of God,
we somehow still have Dottie hereCopy !req
446. so, please, don't scare her away.Copy !req
447. Sorry, Dottie.Copy !req
448. - Who's ready to die, bitches?
- Dee...Copy !req
449. - Whoa!
- No.Copy !req
450. What are you doing
with the Valentine's box?Copy !req
451. - Put that down.
- All right, just thinkCopy !req
452. about what you're doing, Dee.Copy !req
453. I know exactly what I'm doing.Copy !req
454. Okay, okay, fine.
Dee, just don't mention...Copy !req
455. - I am busting out the anthrax.
- No!Copy !req
456. - And I'm out.
- Dottie, no.Copy !req
457. No, you don't have to go.Copy !req
458. - Oh, goddamn it!
- Charlie.Copy !req
459. I'm getting a goddamn valentine
right goddamn now, or so help me God...Copy !req
460. I will end us all.Copy !req
461. No, don't.
Give the bitch what she wants.Copy !req
462. - I will...
- I'm so frustrated right now.Copy !req
463. Okay, fine, Dee.
You know what I'm gonna do?Copy !req
464. I'm gonna sing you a song.Copy !req
465. Okay? A Valentine's Day song?Copy !req
466. All right? Is that... will that work?Copy !req
467. - Fine. Sing a song.
- Okay.Copy !req
468. Uh... a Dee song.Copy !req
469. - Nothing rhymes with Dee.
- Every...!Copy !req
470. Everything rhymes with Dee.Copy !req
471. - I mean, literally, everything rhymes...
- Okay.Copy !req
472. Okay, fine. I'll-I'll think of things.Copy !req
473. Okay, j-j-just relax. Uh, uh...Copy !req
474. - Just say bee.
- Uh, bee.Copy !req
475. Right? I didn't think of that.Copy !req
476. Uh...Copy !req
477. What's a pound carrot?Copy !req
478. Go with pound cake.Copy !req
479. Thanks, Charlie.Copy !req
480. You can't rhyme very well, but...Copy !req
481. That was...Copy !req
482. that was really...Copy !req
483. really pathetic.Copy !req
484. What?Copy !req
485. I wrote a couple words
on a construction paper,Copy !req
486. pink and red, and you sing
a heart song for me?Copy !req
487. You made me do it!Copy !req
488. Yeah! And you said you loved me!Copy !req
489. - Ew!
- You bitch!Copy !req
490. Look, that song was
derivative of a song I wroteCopy !req
491. - for the waitress, anyway, then.
- Yeah, but guess what?Copy !req
492. Frank, grab that anthrax!Copy !req
493. Grab it! Grab it!Copy !req
494. Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
495. Stop! Stop! Stop.Copy !req
496. What are you...
what are you guys doing?Copy !req
497. All right, this is nuts! This is crazy!Copy !req
498. I mean, I-I-I can't believe
we blew another opportunityCopy !req
499. to have a working bar.Copy !req
500. To have a successful business together!Copy !req
501. Because you assholes get so
worked up over Valentine's Day,Copy !req
502. the dumbest holiday that ever existed!Copy !req
503. But I thought you were
trying to get us to focusCopy !req
504. on ourselves and focus
on Valentine's Day.Copy !req
505. What?Copy !req
506. Are-are you insane?Copy !req
507. I... All I've been saying is
to please focus on the bar!Copy !req
508. But you just couldn't do it!Copy !req
509. Dennis, I got to say,
I feel like this isCopy !req
510. just about something else.Copy !req
511. It's... It's not about
something else, it's...Copy !req
512. - The bar is fine.
- Yup.Copy !req
513. - This is... something else is up.
- It's always fine, yeah.Copy !req
514. You know what it is?Copy !req
515. - This is 'cause you hate Valentine's Day.
- It's not becauseCopy !req
516. I hate Valentine's Day.Copy !req
517. - It's because I-I just want...
- No, that's what it is.Copy !req
518. - He's trying to distract us from Valentine's Day.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
519. - That's it.
- I'm not trying to distract anybody from Valen...Copy !req
520. - Yeah, you know why, though, you guys?
- That's the thing, yeah.Copy !req
521. It's because he doesn't
have any feelings and we do.Copy !req
522. Yeah, because we have feelings
and you don't,Copy !req
523. and that's why you hate Valentine's Day.Copy !req
524. Oh, stop! Goddamn it!Copy !req
525. I hate Valentine's Day because
you assholes never got me anything!Copy !req
526. Okay, and I have feelings!Copy !req
527. Of course I have feelings!Copy !req
528. I have big feelings, okay?Copy !req
529. A-and it hurts.Copy !req
530. Okay, so...Copy !req
531. so... that's why I hate Valentine's Day,Copy !req
532. and that's why I put anthrax in the box.Copy !req
533. That was you?Copy !req
534. Yes, it was me.Copy !req
535. I just...Copy !req
536. I just wanted it to stop.Copy !req
537. Okay? And it's powdered sugar,
by the way.Copy !req
538. - Oh, he's already eating it.
- I knew that.Copy !req
539. Dennis.Copy !req
540. What?Copy !req
541. I got the crate.Copy !req
542. So what?Copy !req
543. Open it.Copy !req
544. I'm not gonna open a goddamn crate, Mac!Copy !req
545. There's nothing in it!Copy !req
546. Just open it.Copy !req
547. You want me to open the crate?
I'll open the goddamn crate.Copy !req
548. If it'll get you to stop
focusing on it and get youCopy !req
549. to stop focusing on this goddamn
Valentine's Day bullshit.Copy !req
550. I don't know why you're so excited
about this goddamn thing.Copy !req
551. There's never anything insi...Copy !req
552. What is this?Copy !req
553. It's a gift.Copy !req
554. I got it for you.Copy !req
555. For me?Copy !req
556. Yeah.Copy !req
557. You, uh...Copy !req
558. You got this for me?Copy !req
559. I ordered it off the dark Web.Copy !req
560. I wanted it to be a surprise.Copy !req
561. Yeah.Copy !req
562. And how did you, um...Copy !req
563. How did you know that I wanted an RPG?Copy !req
564. 'Cause I know you, man.Copy !req
565. Also, you casually mention RPGs,
like, a weird amount.Copy !req
566. - Is this true?
- Yeah.Copy !req
567. - You were talking about rocket launchers today,
- Yeah, you talk about them.Copy !req
568. - I think, yeah.
- That was today.Copy !req
569. This is, uh...Copy !req
570. this is cool.Copy !req
571. I still think Valentine's Day is
a bullshit holiday, but, um...Copy !req
572. this is nice.Copy !req
573. Want to shoot it?Copy !req
574. Yes.Copy !req
575. Where's the rocket?Copy !req
576. Yeah, that should be,Copy !req
577. uh... shit, I... there's no rocket.Copy !req
578. - No rocket in there?
- There's no rocket?Copy !req
579. Ah, there's no rocket!Copy !req
580. They forgot to put the rocket in there!Copy !req
581. Dude, I'm so sorry!Copy !req
582. Mac, I don't care.Copy !req
583. I love it.Copy !req
584. You figured out the one thing
I wanted more than anything elseCopy !req
585. in the entire world
and you got it for me.Copy !req
586. And...Copy !req
587. it's perfect.Copy !req
588. Happy Valentine's Day.Copy !req
589. Yeah.Copy !req
590. Charlie, let's go get
this worm out of my ass.Copy !req
591. - Let's do it, man. All right.
- Okay.Copy !req