1. Oh, that's fresh, dude.
Yeah, that's real nice.Copy !req
2. Seriously, you're gonna bring
that up again? Jerry, Jerry,Copy !req
3. Jerry— I'm so sick
of hearing about Jerry, man.Copy !req
4. Everything is "Jerry"
out of you mouth.
Hey, hey, hey, uh,Copy !req
5. Ch-Charlie, I need a new keg.
This one's tapped, buddy.
Yeah, give me a second.Copy !req
6. Like, if Jerry
jumped off a bridgeCopy !req
7. would you jump off it, too?Copy !req
8. Which bridge?
Guys, guys...Copy !req
9. Which bridge, really?
Yeah, yeah.
Guys, guys,Copy !req
10. please stop arguing, okay?
Can you just...Copy !req
11. can you do your jobs today?
We got a bunch of customersCopy !req
12. in here.
I want to take advantage of it.Copy !req
13. Look, can you just tell him
to get rid of Jerry first?Copy !req
14. I'm sorry, I don't even
know who that is.Copy !req
15. My tapeworm.
You have a tapeworm?Copy !req
16. Yeah, he got a worm.
Yeah. Got a tapeworm.Copy !req
17. And you named it?Copy !req
18. Jerry.
Jerry.Copy !req
19. Yeah, okay, great.
Look, guys, canCopy !req
20. we not do this? Can we
not talk about wormsCopy !req
21. or sewers or rats today,
with all theseCopy !req
22. people in here? We got
a good thing going.Copy !req
23. Charlie, new keg.
Well, I just think maybe
I'm a little sensitiveCopy !req
24. because it's Valentine's Day
and I don't reallyCopy !req
25. want to hear about Jerry
all day long.Copy !req
26. But, yeah, fine,
what do you want— you want meCopy !req
27. to put pink ink
in the beer or something,Copy !req
28. make it all inky and pink?
I...
No, no, no, no.Copy !req
29. I don't want to do
Valentine's Day shit, okay?Copy !req
30. I don't want to do that. All
right, look, all these peopleCopy !req
31. are in here today because they
don't have people who love themCopy !req
32. and get them shit
on Valentine's Day. All right?Copy !req
33. So, can we not remind them
of that with inky beer?Copy !req
34. All right, fine. Can you just
tell him to get lost, then?Copy !req
35. And then we'll go back
to the way things were.Copy !req
36. Who?
Jerry.Copy !req
37. The worm?
Yeah.Copy !req
38. It's an intestinal parasite,
incapable ofCopy !req
39. complex thought.
You just describedCopy !req
40. my ex-husband.Copy !req
41. Oh...
Oh...Copy !req
42. Yeah, he's a...
He can't think, yeah.
That's pretty funny.Copy !req
43. Hey, Dee! Yeah!
All right, Dee!Copy !req
44. Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee!
Dee! Dee! Dee!Copy !req
45. Dee is in the house,
uh, Dee is in the house,Copy !req
46. uh, Dee is in the house.
Oh...
Oh...Copy !req
47. Thanks for the chant,
guys. What's up?
Yeah, no,Copy !req
48. we were talking about
the new Dee, the funny one.Copy !req
49. Oh, well, she's like a new
regular. She's been coming inCopy !req
50. here. You know, trying
to make her feel more at home.Copy !req
51. It's a nickname,
short for Dottie.
Then call her Dot.Copy !req
52. Nah, we already started calling
her Dee and it kind of stuck.Copy !req
53. You know, can't really
change it now. It's locked in.Copy !req
54. That's my nickname, bitch.
Don't you take my nickname.Copy !req
55. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
56. You bitch! Get out of here!
What are you...Copy !req
57. Don't-don't yell at the
customers, okay? Look, we gotCopy !req
58. a good thing
going here, all right?Copy !req
59. We got a bunch
of new customers in here.Copy !req
60. We got a regular,
we might get more regulars.Copy !req
61. Let's not screw this up.
Guys, guys.Copy !req
62. I've got news,
I've got glorious news.
Oh!Copy !req
63. Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!Copy !req
64. Mac is in the house,
Mac is in the house.Copy !req
65. Thanks for the chant, guys.
Listen, I need everybodyCopy !req
66. to drop everything
and come out to the back alley.Copy !req
67. There is an unopened crate
out there.Copy !req
68. An un... an unopened crate?
Crate? Oh!
Crate?Copy !req
69. Hey, there's a crate!
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
70. We got a crate. We have a crate.
Let's go!
No.Copy !req
71. What, what?
Stop, hey, stop!Copy !req
72. What? What?
Stop! Stop.Copy !req
73. We got a bar full of
customers here.Copy !req
74. So what? Oh! Oh, shit, okay,
okay, you know what I'll do?Copy !req
75. Um, I can put a fan
next to the yuck puddle,Copy !req
76. and the smell's
gonna clear everybody out.
Oh!Copy !req
77. I don't want to clear
everybody out. I'm sayingCopy !req
78. why are we running
out of the bar to-to lookCopy !req
79. in some dumb crate?
Well, it's not about the crate.Copy !req
80. It's about the mystery
of what's inside the crateCopy !req
81. that gets us.
Yeah, the straw.Copy !req
82. Yeah. Well, not
the straw, though.
No.Copy !req
83. Not the straw?
No, not the straw.
Whatever's in the crate, like...Copy !req
84. Oh.
Yeah, it's worth a look.
It's not worth a look.Copy !req
85. It's trash. There's nothing
in there. There never is.Copy !req
86. This is what I'm saying. Why...Copy !req
87. We're always running outside,Copy !req
88. out into the world, looking
for riches and treasuresCopy !req
89. when we've got everything
we need right here.Copy !req
90. Oh, you're saying we do, like,
a booze for money type scheme.Copy !req
91. That's good. Who came up with
that? Who came up with that?
Oh. Was it me?Copy !req
92. Whoever invented
the idea of a bar.Copy !req
93. Which is what we
decided to do years agoCopy !req
94. when we bought this goddamn
place. So, can we please,Copy !req
95. for once in our lives, not
go chasing after crates?Copy !req
96. You know, and talk about worms?Copy !req
97. Right? Yelling at the
customers and shit?Copy !req
98. Can we just do the one thing
we've never tried?Copy !req
99. Can we just do our jobs?Copy !req
100. '89, good.Copy !req
101. Damn drunks.Copy !req
102. Rum and Coke, tequila soda.Copy !req
103. Pay me.Copy !req
104. All right, that's gonna be five.Copy !req
105. Out of 20.Copy !req
106. Yup.Copy !req
107. Aw, she wants another mojito.Copy !req
108. Looks like our regular's
got herself a usual.Copy !req
109. You bet.Copy !req
110. Yo. I am all done with my work.Copy !req
111. Can we go check out
that crate now?Copy !req
112. What? You're not done.Copy !req
113. Shit, how'd you know?Copy !req
114. Because the bar's
still open.Copy !req
115. You're not done
till we close.Copy !req
116. Hey, what do you say
you and me go out the backCopy !req
117. and check out that crate.
Just the two of us—Copy !req
118. no one else has to know.
Just to get it off our minds.Copy !req
119. It's not on my mind, okay?
Let it go. Christ, five peopleCopy !req
120. have walked in here since
we started this conversation.Copy !req
121. Can you go check their IDs
so we don't get anotherCopy !req
122. underage drinking situation
on our hands?Copy !req
123. Just got my mind on that crate.
Right, well,Copy !req
124. get your mind on your job.
Done, done, done.Copy !req
125. Done with my work.
Oh, Christ,
they're like dominoes.Copy !req
126. Frank, you're not doneCopy !req
127. until the end of the day.
I already cooked the books.Copy !req
128. How about you don't cook the
books so we can actually tellCopy !req
129. how the business is doing?
Oh, well...Copy !req
130. It's crazy. How are
we ever gonna...Copy !req
131. Oh, the soda gun's
clogged.Copy !req
132. Dude, can you go clear
the lines for me?Copy !req
133. Trick Charlie into doing it.Copy !req
134. Well, I want you to do it.Copy !req
135. I can't trick Charlie.Copy !req
136. Charlie's pretending
to ignore meCopy !req
137. because he's jealous of Jerry.Copy !req
138. I-I don't want you
to trick Charlie.Copy !req
139. I want you to clear the lines.
Speaking of Jerry—Copy !req
140. break time.
What do you mean?Copy !req
141. Lunch.Copy !req
142. I'm craving salty,Copy !req
143. but Jerry likes sweet.Copy !req
144. What are you doing?
Don't-don'tCopy !req
145. reach your hands
directly in the...Copy !req
146. This is sweet.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
get out of here,Copy !req
147. Frank, you're an animal.Copy !req
148. He won't stop eating,Copy !req
149. yet he's just
wasting away.
Yeah.Copy !req
150. I mean, can you
believe them?Copy !req
151. You know, I can't even play
Night Crawlers with him anymoreCopy !req
152. 'cause he doesn't
want to offend Jerry.Copy !req
153. I'm gonna stop you there,
Charlie, becauseCopy !req
154. I've exhausted
my daily quota of worm talkCopy !req
155. and worm-related issues.
What are you doing?
Yeah.Copy !req
156. Don't reach your hands in there!
Why not?Copy !req
157. Jesus Christ...
Oh, God. Look,Copy !req
158. can you just... can you please
go clear the lines for me?Copy !req
159. Are they clogged?Copy !req
160. Yeah.Copy !req
161. Just trick Dee into it.
It's not a tri...Copy !req
162. See, this is the problem.
You guys all think that workCopy !req
163. is tricking people.
It's not. It's just your job.Copy !req
164. So, can you please go do it?
In all the timeCopy !req
165. that we've talked about tricking
each other into doing our jobsCopy !req
166. we could've made 1,000 drinks.Copy !req
167. Yeah, maybe. All right,Copy !req
168. let me see if I can
trick Mac into it first.Copy !req
169. Don't trick anybody,
just do it... Oh, goddamn.Copy !req
170. I need two shots
of whiskey.Copy !req
171. More shots of whiskey.
Okay, yes, nice.Copy !req
172. Finally, somebody's
actually working.Copy !req
173. You know what,
I appreciate that, Dee.Copy !req
174. I appreciate you.
All right,
what are you doing?Copy !req
175. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
176. That was a big one. Thank you.
The other one, too.Copy !req
177. Yeah, that's
what this is. Okay, so,Copy !req
178. clearly, you're not busy,
so, I need somebodyCopy !req
179. to clear the lines.
The soda gun's clogged.Copy !req
180. Did Charlie ask you to trick me?Copy !req
181. Trick you? No, the...
It's not a trick.Copy !req
182. The soda gun is clogged,
I cannot make drinks.Copy !req
183. I don't know.
I don't trust Charlie today.Copy !req
184. You know,
I made him a valentine—Copy !req
185. he hasn't given me shit
yet in return.Copy !req
186. Why the hell did you do that?
We don't do valentines anymore.Copy !req
187. I know, but we used to,
and it was fun,Copy !req
188. you know?
It was a goof.Copy !req
189. It wasn't a goof. You guys were
supposed to give valentine'sCopy !req
190. cards to each other, but instead
you were just sticking hate mailCopy !req
191. in a suggestion box
covered in hearts.Copy !req
192. I'll give it to you, though— it
got a little nasty at the end.Copy !req
193. A-a little bit nasty?Copy !req
194. One of you put anthrax
in the box.Copy !req
195. Or do you not remember
the anthrax scare?Copy !req
196. Oh, ho, I remember
the anthrax scare.Copy !req
197. To many, 9/18 was
the delivery world's 9/11.Copy !req
198. That's a good point.
No, I'm talking aboutCopy !req
199. a different anthrax scare,
but it shouldn't concern you.Copy !req
200. Stop it!
She just talks
too much.Copy !req
201. Hey-oh!
Oh!Copy !req
202. Cricket!
Cricket!Copy !req
203. Cricket!
Hey, you guys mindCopy !req
204. if I go in the bathroom
and smoke some PCP?Copy !req
205. No, dude, you do you!
Go for it.Copy !req
206. You do you!Copy !req
207. You do you!
You do you!Copy !req
208. We don't judge,
Cricket, we don't judge.Copy !req
209. What are you doing?
Guys, guys, guys, whatCopy !req
210. in the hell are you doing? Yeah,
Cricket.
Cricket.Copy !req
211. Cricket. This has got to stop,
you guys. This is nuts.Copy !req
212. We can't go around
encouraging homeless menCopy !req
213. to smoke PCP in our restrooms,Copy !req
214. you know, trying to trick
each other into doing our jobsCopy !req
215. and getting fired up at
the-the mere mention of a crate.Copy !req
216. Oh, but it's just such
a mystery, isn't it?
Yeah.Copy !req
217. Cool crate.
Can't stop thinking about it.Copy !req
218. it really isn't though.
It's just trash.Copy !req
219. It's trash
that somebody left behind.Copy !req
220. Hey, but if it's mystery
you want,Copy !req
221. you know, what about the mystery
of the yuck puddle?Copy !req
222. What the hell is that thing,
you know? Why won't it dry up?Copy !req
223. Why won't it harden?Copy !req
224. It shifts.
I've seen it shift.Copy !req
225. He's seen it shift. You
see, we shouldn't haveCopy !req
226. an amorphous shifting
blob in the bar, you know?Copy !req
227. So why don't you
and Mac go solveCopy !req
228. that goddamn mystery by
cleaning it up, you know?Copy !req
229. And, oh, what about the mystery
of the clogged soda gun,Copy !req
230. you know? Dee, why don't
you and Frank go solveCopy !req
231. that mystery by
clearing the lines?Copy !req
232. Well, that's-that's
not such a mystery.Copy !req
233. And we could probably trick
Cricket into doing it.
Oh, why don't we just trick...Copy !req
234. Cricket doesn't work here
though.Copy !req
235. But that's free labor.
Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
236. That's kind of
better.
Get him for free.Copy !req
237. You're not...
you're not getting...Copy !req
238. Hey, just do your jobs!Copy !req
239. Just do your jobs.Copy !req
240. Why isn't it getting
any smaller?Copy !req
241. Can I be honest, dude?
I think this thing's alive.
Oh, that must beCopy !req
242. what all the bubbling's about,
'cause it's, like, trying
to communicate.Copy !req
243. It definitely feeds. I-I've
found bones in it, man.Copy !req
244. So it wants to live.
Yeah, dude,
I don't knowCopy !req
245. what I'm gonna do during
the next inspection,
'cause I-I can't get ridCopy !req
246. of this thing.
So Dennis has sent us
in here to do the impossible.Copy !req
247. Absolutely. Dude, what is
going on with him, right?Copy !req
248. Like, there's got to be
something in this whole
"do your job" angle.Copy !req
249. He's acting, like, so weird,
especially towards me.Copy !req
250. Well, no, 'cause he's known that
forever, so it's, you know...Copy !req
251. Well, he may have suspected
it before, but there's no wayCopy !req
252. he could have known for sure.
'Cause I show no outward signsCopy !req
253. of being gay, and that's just
the end of the story, all right?Copy !req
254. But, look, either way, he's been
acting very distant towards me,Copy !req
255. and I feel like he sent me in
here to punish me or something,Copy !req
256. because, I agree, the whole,
like, "do your job" angleCopy !req
257. Like...
Unless... Oh, my God.Copy !req
258. What?
Charlie, he doesn't want us
to work at all.Copy !req
259. He doesn't?
No.Copy !req
260. He doesn't want us to mop up
the yuck puddle.Copy !req
261. He wants us to "mop up
the yuck puddle."
Oh!Copy !req
262. Of emotions.Copy !req
263. What?Copy !req
264. It's a metaphor.
For what?Copy !req
265. He wants us to talk through our
personal issues and be more openCopy !req
266. with our feelings
because it's Valentine's Day.Copy !req
267. Oh! Weird. That doesn't sound
like Dennis, but, uh...Copy !req
268. Go with me here, dude.
Valentine's Day is an entire day
Okay.Copy !req
269. dedicated to feelings, something
that Dennis doesn't have.
Right, that's true.Copy !req
270. And so that's why he hates
Valentine's Day so much.Copy !req
271. But he's entrusted me,
because I'm a gay manCopy !req
272. and clearly more sensitive
than the rest of you,
Well, no,Copy !req
273. to break down
those walls.
but okay. All right.Copy !req
274. All right, cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, okay, so I'll share first.Copy !req
275. Okay.
Okay. I have a huge surpriseCopy !req
276. for Dennis, but I feel like he's
not emotionally available to...
Uh, uh,Copy !req
277. Frank's gonna leave
me for Jerry, man.Copy !req
278. Oh, uh, I was talking. But, uh,Copy !req
279. I guess we'll, um...
we'll do your thing first.Copy !req
280. You know he's only doing this
to get a rise out of you, right?Copy !req
281. Oh, that's so Jerry.
No,Copy !req
282. not Jerry. Not the worm.
Never the worm.Copy !req
283. We're talking about Frank, okay?Copy !req
284. If you just pretend
to like the worm,Copy !req
285. then he'll probably
just get rid of it.Copy !req
286. Oh, shit. You think so?Copy !req
287. I know so, buddy.Copy !req
288. Nice, man. All right.
Yeah. Okay, now back
to my thing.Copy !req
289. Yeah, that just gave me
a great idea. Thanks, Mac.
If I just give...Copy !req
290. Charlie, if you just...
You're not gonna let me talk?Copy !req
291. So, uh, you're
gay, huh?Copy !req
292. For pay or for free?Copy !req
293. Uh, for free, I guess.Copy !req
294. Chump.Copy !req
295. It's taking forever.Copy !req
296. Ugh.
Try sucking
on the other end, maybe.Copy !req
297. I'm not sucking on the other
end. Get that shit in my mouth?Copy !req
298. No, thanks. And what the
hell's going on with Dennis?Copy !req
299. Since when does he care
how the bar does?Copy !req
300. I don't know.
It doesn't add up.Copy !req
301. I can't get a read on him these
days. He's just always crankyCopy !req
302. and irritated.Copy !req
303. Rage-filled, rape-y.
It's like,Copy !req
304. as the years go by, he just
gets more and more irrational.Copy !req
305. Yeah, yeah.
Especially with this
whole "work the bar" angle.Copy !req
306. I mean, what is that?Copy !req
307. Unless...Copy !req
308. Oh, my God.Copy !req
309. Dennis doesn't want
us to work the bar.Copy !req
310. He doesn't?
No! He wants us to
work on ourselves.Copy !req
311. What the shit
are you talking about?Copy !req
312. Just go with me here. It's
Valentine's Day, right,Copy !req
313. a day we all used to love
and enjoy until we turnedCopy !req
314. on each other
with the hate mail.Copy !req
315. Dennis wants us to work
through our personal issuesCopy !req
316. so we can enjoy
Valentine's Day again.Copy !req
317. I got it.
Yeah. Okay, so I'm
gonna go first.Copy !req
318. I'm so mad at Charlie,
because I made him a valentine,Copy !req
319. and, you know what,
he didn't even really...Copy !req
320. I gave myself Jerry on purpose.Copy !req
321. Well, I was right in the middle
of a sentence, but... what?Copy !req
322. I gave myself the tapeworm.Copy !req
323. Well, that is the most
disgusting thing I've...
How,Copy !req
324. you're wondering.
No, I don't.
No, thanks.Copy !req
325. I bought poop on the dark WebCopy !req
326. and stuffed it up my butt
to lose weight.Copy !req
327. Jesus Christ.
Uh, that's enough.
Yeah.Copy !req
328. Well, it took
about four ounces of it.
I-I...Copy !req
329. That's enough! I
don't want to know!Copy !req
330. With the tip of a teaspoon.Copy !req
331. Okay... Frank!
How else?Copy !req
332. Stop answering questions
I'm not asking, okay?Copy !req
333. I'm done, I'm done.
I had to hold my knees
above my head for a half hourCopy !req
334. and clench my sphincter.
Stop! Stop!Copy !req
335. Charlie,Copy !req
336. I'm mad, and I think
we need to clear the lines.
Huh?Copy !req
337. Uh, just-just trick
somebody else into it.
No, that's notCopy !req
338. what I'm...Copy !req
339. Wh-What
are you doing?Copy !req
340. I'm trying to
write a valentine. I just...Copy !req
341. Oh.
Okay.Copy !req
342. Uh, okay. Well, I'll just,
uh, let you finish.Copy !req
343. Didn't mean to interrupt.
Okay.Copy !req
344. I also got you a box
of chocolates, so...Copy !req
345. Right.Copy !req
346. Oh, oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Dee, Dee, Dee.Copy !req
347. Yeah.
Um, c-can you thinkCopy !req
348. of a word that
rhymes with "Jerry"?Copy !req
349. What?
I can't think of one.Copy !req
350. Are you making a valentine
for Frank's tapeworm?Copy !req
351. Well, not if I can't think of
a word that rhymes with "Jerry."Copy !req
352. You son of a bitch.
What?Copy !req
353. I can't believe
you don't know!
I have no idea!Copy !req
354. Oh, and literally everything
rhymes with "Jerry," okay?Copy !req
355. Scary, hairy, Mother Mary,
Oh, oh,Copy !req
356. quite contrary.
Shit, yeah, okay, good.Copy !req
357. Woozy, woozy.
Woozy from sucking lines.Copy !req
358. Ho.
All right, Frank, Frank, Frank,
before you do another thing,Copy !req
359. I wanted to give you
a valentine.
Unbelievable!Copy !req
360. Right in front of me?
You did?
Yeah-huh.Copy !req
361. Charlie. Well...
Well, it's for both of you guys,
but, these,Copy !req
362. these are just for Jerry.Copy !req
363. No.
Charlie. Oh.
Yeah.Copy !req
364. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank...
Look at that.
You dick.Copy !req
365. You shouldn't have. Mmm.
No! No, he didn't.Copy !req
366. Listen to me, I got these
for him, all right? So no.
Mmm?Copy !req
367. I got these.
Our blood sugar's low. Mmm.Copy !req
368. Oh, guess what,
I bought these for him.
Mmm...Copy !req
369. You fool!Copy !req
370. It's so good,
Charlie.
Those chocolatesCopy !req
371. that you're
so gleefully devouringCopy !req
372. are chock-full
of Bye-Bye Jerry pills.Copy !req
373. You wouldn't.Copy !req
374. Oh, but I would, Frank.Copy !req
375. You see, I knew you'd never take
the pills willingly.Copy !req
376. But Jerry...Copy !req
377. Jerry likes sweet, doesn't he?Copy !req
378. You poisoned me.Copy !req
379. No. No, he poisoned me.Copy !req
380. At worst, you're
properly medicated.Copy !req
381. You son of a bitch.Copy !req
382. Charlie.
Bye-bye...Copy !req
383. Jerry!Copy !req
384. I'm poisoned.
Poisoned!Copy !req
385. I'm poisoned.Copy !req
386. What are you doing?Copy !req
387. We've been poisoned.
No, No.Copy !req
388. No, no, no,
nobody's been poisoned.Copy !req
389. They're just...
And there's plenty more poisonCopy !req
390. where that came from!Copy !req
391. Uh, there is no...
So, don't even thinkCopy !req
392. about trying to get
another worm, Frank.Copy !req
393. And there are no-no worms.Copy !req
394. Nobody has worms.
Well, not anymoreCopy !req
395. they don't.Copy !req
396. Don't leave.
Please, don't leave.Copy !req
397. Guys, what are you doing?Copy !req
398. Take this discussion
someplace else.Copy !req
399. No, I'm good because I've hadCopy !req
400. a great Valentine's Day.Copy !req
401. Bye-bye, Jerry.Copy !req
402. Are you serious?Copy !req
403. You son of a
bitch, Charlie.Copy !req
404. You screwed me, okay?Copy !req
405. What are you talking about?
You know what...Copy !req
406. screw you, Charlie!Copy !req
407. I'm not gonna let some worm
beat me on Valentine's Day.Copy !req
408. Don't talk about...
Why are you going
on and on about it?Copy !req
409. I... I did this
for you, Charlie.Copy !req
410. What?Copy !req
411. I gave myself Jerry on purpose.Copy !req
412. Why would you do that?Copy !req
413. To slim down for you.Copy !req
414. why would you... why would you
slim down for me? What?Copy !req
415. Because I overheard you
on the phone saying,Copy !req
416. "He got flabby."Copy !req
417. No, no, no, buddy.Copy !req
418. I never said that.Copy !req
419. I sa... I-I-I said
you were crabbyCopy !req
420. because you smelled crabby...Copy !req
421. 'cause you've been eatingCopy !req
422. all those sewer
crabs, man, but..Copy !req
423. Take it outside.
It was a compliment.
I love when youCopy !req
424. smell like crab, Frank.Copy !req
425. Take the conversation
someplace else.Copy !req
426. Okay? Don't do it here.Copy !req
427. You-you didn't think
I was too fat?Copy !req
428. Well, no, you were
fat as shit, pal,Copy !req
429. but I loved you that way, Frank.Copy !req
430. Fat and crabby.Copy !req
431. So, you want to
try and get thisCopy !req
432. dead worm out of me?Copy !req
433. I would love
to pull that dead wormCopy !req
434. Yeah? Come on.
out of you.
Come on, now oh...Copy !req
435. Stop, stop! Goddamn it, stop.
What are you guys doing?Copy !req
436. Huh?
What are you
talking about?Copy !req
437. Getting the worm.Copy !req
438. You-you're gonna talkCopy !req
439. about pulling a dead worm
out of his ass?Copy !req
440. Don't do that. Please, don't
talk about these things.Copy !req
441. Now, by the
grace of God,Copy !req
442. we somehow still
have Dottie hereCopy !req
443. so, please, don't
scare her away.Copy !req
444. Sorry, Dottie.Copy !req
445. Who's ready to die, bitches?
Dee...Copy !req
446. Whoa!
No. What are you doing
with the Valentine's box?Copy !req
447. Put that down.
All right,
just thinkCopy !req
448. about what you're
doing, Dee.Copy !req
449. I know exactly what I'm doing.Copy !req
450. Okay, okay, fine.
Dee, just don't mention...Copy !req
451. I am busting out the anthrax.
No!Copy !req
452. And I'm out.
Dottie, no.Copy !req
453. No, you don't have to go.Copy !req
454. Oh, goddamn it!
Charlie.Copy !req
455. I'm getting a
goddamn valentineCopy !req
456. right goddamn now,
or so help me God...Copy !req
457. I will end us all.Copy !req
458. No, don't.
Give the bitch
what she wants.Copy !req
459. I will...
I'm so frustrated right now.Copy !req
460. Okay, fine, Dee.
You know what I'm gonna do?Copy !req
461. I'm gonna sing you a song.Copy !req
462. Okay? A Valentine's
Day song?Copy !req
463. All right?
Is that... will that work?Copy !req
464. Fine. Sing a song.
Okay.Copy !req
465. Uh... a Dee song.Copy !req
466. Nothing rhymes with Dee.
Every...!Copy !req
467. Everything rhymes with Dee.Copy !req
468. I mean, literally,
everything rhymes...
Okay.Copy !req
469. Okay, fine. I'll-I'll
think of things.Copy !req
470. Okay, j-j-just
relax. Uh, uh...Copy !req
471. Just say bee.
Uh, bee.Copy !req
472. Right? I didn't
think of that.Copy !req
473. Uh...Copy !req
474. What's a pound carrot?Copy !req
475. Go with pound cake.Copy !req
476. Thanks, Charlie.Copy !req
477. You can't rhyme very well,
but...Copy !req
478. That was...Copy !req
479. that was really...Copy !req
480. really pathetic.Copy !req
481. What?Copy !req
482. I wrote a couple words
on a construction paper,Copy !req
483. pink and red,
and you sing a heart songCopy !req
484. for me?Copy !req
485. You made me do it!Copy !req
486. Yeah! And you said you loved me!Copy !req
487. Ew!
You bitch!Copy !req
488. Look, that song was derivative
of a song I wroteCopy !req
489. for the waitress,
anyway, then.
Yeah, but guess what?Copy !req
490. Frank, grab that anthrax!Copy !req
491. Grab it! Grab it!Copy !req
492. Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
493. Stop! Stop! Stop.Copy !req
494. What are you...
what are you guys doing?Copy !req
495. All right, this is nuts!
This is crazy!Copy !req
496. I mean, I-I-I can't believe
we blew another opportunityCopy !req
497. to have a working bar.Copy !req
498. To have a successful business
together!Copy !req
499. Because you assholes get so
worked up over Valentine's Day,Copy !req
500. the dumbest holiday
that ever existed!Copy !req
501. But I thought you were
trying to get us to focusCopy !req
502. on ourselves and focus
on Valentine's Day.Copy !req
503. What?Copy !req
504. Are-are you insane?Copy !req
505. I... All I've been saying is
to please focus on the bar!Copy !req
506. But you just couldn't do it!Copy !req
507. Dennis, I got to say,
I feel like this isCopy !req
508. just about something else.Copy !req
509. It's...
It's not aboutCopy !req
510. something else, it's...Copy !req
511. The bar is fine.
Yup.Copy !req
512. This is... something else is up.
It's always fine, yeah.Copy !req
513. You know what it is?Copy !req
514. This is 'cause you
hate Valentine's Day.
It's not becauseCopy !req
515. I hate Valentine's Day.Copy !req
516. It's because I-I just want...
No, that's what it is.Copy !req
517. He's trying to distract us
from Valentine's Day.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
518. That's it.
I'm not trying to
distract anybody from Valen...Copy !req
519. It's because he doesn't
have any feelings and we do.Copy !req
520. Yeah, because we have
feelings and you don't,Copy !req
521. and that's why you hate
Valentine's Day.Copy !req
522. Oh, stop!
Goddamn it!Copy !req
523. I hate Valentine's Day becauseCopy !req
524. you assholes never
got me anything!Copy !req
525. Okay, and I have feelings!Copy !req
526. Of course I have feelings!Copy !req
527. I have big feelings, okay?Copy !req
528. A-and it hurts.Copy !req
529. Okay, so...Copy !req
530. so... that's why I hate
Valentine's Day,Copy !req
531. and that's why I put anthrax
in the box.Copy !req
532. That was you?Copy !req
533. Yes, it was me.Copy !req
534. I just...Copy !req
535. I just wanted it to stop.Copy !req
536. Okay? And it's powdered sugar,
by the way.Copy !req
537. Oh, he's alreadyCopy !req
538. eating it.
I knew that.Copy !req
539. Dennis.Copy !req
540. What?Copy !req
541. I got the crate.Copy !req
542. So what?Copy !req
543. Open it.Copy !req
544. I'm not gonna openCopy !req
545. a goddamn crate, Mac!Copy !req
546. There's nothing in it!Copy !req
547. Just open it.Copy !req
548. You want me to open the crate?
I'll open the goddamn crate.Copy !req
549. If it'll get you to stop
focusing on it and get youCopy !req
550. to stop focusing
on this goddamnCopy !req
551. Valentine's Day bullshit.Copy !req
552. I don't know whyCopy !req
553. you're so excited
about this goddamn thing.Copy !req
554. There's never anything insi...Copy !req
555. What is this?Copy !req
556. It's a gift.Copy !req
557. I got it for you.Copy !req
558. For me?Copy !req
559. Yeah.Copy !req
560. You, uh...Copy !req
561. You got this for me?Copy !req
562. I ordered it off the dark Web.Copy !req
563. I wanted it to be a surprise.Copy !req
564. Yeah.Copy !req
565. And how did you, um...Copy !req
566. How did you know
that I wanted an RPG?Copy !req
567. 'Cause I know you, man.Copy !req
568. Also, you casuallyCopy !req
569. mention RPGs, like,
a weird amount.Copy !req
570. Is this true?
Yeah.Copy !req
571. You were talking about
rocket launchers today,
Yeah, you talk about them.Copy !req
572. I think, yeah.
That was today.Copy !req
573. This is, uh...Copy !req
574. this is cool.Copy !req
575. I still think
Valentine's Day isCopy !req
576. a bullshit holiday,
but, um...Copy !req
577. this is nice.Copy !req
578. Want to shoot it?Copy !req
579. Yes.Copy !req
580. Where's the rocket?Copy !req
581. Yeah, that should be,Copy !req
582. uh... shit, I...
there's no rocket.Copy !req
583. No rocket in there?
There's no rocket?Copy !req
584. Ah, there's no rocket!Copy !req
585. They forgot to put
the rocket in there!Copy !req
586. Dude, I'm so sorry!Copy !req
587. Mac, I don't care.Copy !req
588. I love it.Copy !req
589. You figured out the one thingCopy !req
590. I wanted more than anything elseCopy !req
591. in the entire world
and you got it for me.Copy !req
592. And...Copy !req
593. it's perfect.Copy !req
594. Happy Valentine's Day.Copy !req
595. Yeah.Copy !req
596. Charlie, let's go get
this worm out of my ass.Copy !req
597. Let's do it, man.
All right.
Okay.Copy !req
598. Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBHCopy !req