1. No, your mom is the monster, all right?Copy !req
2. My mom is the sweet one.Copy !req
3. Oh, the sweet one?Copy !req
4. Are you kidding me? Uh, look,Copy !req
5. if anything, my mom's
aggravatingly sweet,Copy !req
6. but we're not having an argument
about who's sweeter, what...Copy !req
7. Whoa, whoa,
hang on a second here, guys.Copy !req
8. What are you going on about?Copy !req
9. All right, look,Copy !req
10. my mom's been calling me,Copy !req
11. like, all the time, okay?Copy !req
12. She's clearly upset.Copy !req
13. Well, how would you know?
You don't even answer.Copy !req
14. My mom stopped calling me altogether.Copy !req
15. Your mom stopped calling youCopy !req
16. the day the phone was invented.Copy !req
17. My mom has a great
relationship with me.Copy !req
18. She never calls you!
She calls me all the time!Copy !req
19. Yes, she does! But I have proof, anyway.Copy !req
20. I have proof. Look at this.Copy !req
21. I got this in the mail.Copy !req
22. Is that, like, a ransom
note from Mac's mom?Copy !req
23. Huh? No. This... my mom sent this.Copy !req
24. Oh. Why would your mom write
a ransom note to herself?Copy !req
25. Oh, it's not a... it's not a ransom note.Copy !req
26. This is just how she writes notes to me.Copy !req
27. That-that's like a bunch
of gibberish, Charlie.Copy !req
28. I don't know...Copy !req
29. Is that a hieroglyph of a dog?Copy !req
30. Yeah, that's the animal
my mom fears the most, right?Copy !req
31. She-she feels trapped
inside her own home.Copy !req
32. There is no wayCopy !req
33. you could get that from this.Copy !req
34. Oh-oh, okay, guys, guys, guys.Copy !req
35. I think I have a pretty
simple solution here.Copy !req
36. You see, ever since I moved inCopy !req
37. with Mac, and Dee and Old Black Man,Copy !req
38. my surveillance system's
just lying around in storage.Copy !req
39. I got about a baker's dozen of cameras.Copy !req
40. They're just sitting there.Copy !req
41. I say we set them up
in your mom's homeCopy !req
42. and find out what's
really going on in there.Copy !req
43. That could work. I
mean, yeah. Great idea.Copy !req
44. You don't think that's creepy? What?Copy !req
45. He's talking about spying on your moms.Copy !req
46. So what?Copy !req
47. You can't spyCopy !req
48. on unsuspecting women.Copy !req
49. That's horrible.Copy !req
50. Uh, they're not women. They're old.Copy !req
51. At a certain point a woman
goes from being a womanCopy !req
52. to just being an old person.Copy !req
53. True. Well, what happens to a man?Copy !req
54. A man lives and then dies.
Why are we having this argument?Copy !req
55. A man remains a man.
Dennis, it's a great idea.Copy !req
56. Okay, and no one's gonna get hurt.Copy !req
57. It's not like they're gonna get
exploited in any way, right?Copy !req
58. No, no, no, exactly.
I think once we have a lookCopy !req
59. at what's going on in there,
we might find the situationCopy !req
60. to be, uh, pretty comical.Copy !req
61. Oh, it's so nice of you to bring usCopy !req
62. all these lovely gifts, Charlie.Copy !req
63. The plant, the globe,Copy !req
64. and the little teddy bear.Copy !req
65. Oh, no, no, no, no, Mom.Copy !req
66. No, we aren't gonna
touch the gifts, right?Copy !req
67. Okay, we don't touch them.
We just, we look at them.Copy !req
68. Okay. And they look back
at you and they... Hands off.Copy !req
69. Mom, make sure you
don't water this plant.Copy !req
70. Your mom's not gonna
water the plants. Oh.Copy !req
71. She has a very nurturing nature.
She would...Copy !req
72. Oh, Mrs. Mac, are you
gonna water the plants?Copy !req
73. See. Oh, Charlie.Copy !req
74. I'm so glad to see you.Copy !req
75. Yeah, okay. I was worried thatCopy !req
76. you were dead. Why?Copy !req
77. Oh, my mom also thought I was dead,Copy !req
78. and she also loves me very much.Copy !req
79. No, I don't.Copy !req
80. Oh, she meant the first part.Copy !req
81. She meant the first part where ICopy !req
82. because she can't imagine
a life without me, right, Mom?Copy !req
83. I don't give a shit.Copy !req
84. See. I'll put you outCopy !req
85. of the misery of this conversation. Mom?Copy !req
86. Is there anything you want to tell meCopy !req
87. that's going on in the house?Copy !req
88. Anything that's bothering you?Copy !req
89. Anything you want to talk about?
Mom, is there anythingCopy !req
90. that's going on in the house
What are you doing?Copy !req
91. That you want to talk
about that's bothering you.Copy !req
92. What are you doing? In the house or
I'm asking my mom a simple question.Copy !req
93. You're asking her the exact
same question I just asked,Copy !req
94. so what are you... Do you
own all of the questions?Copy !req
95. Do you own that question?Copy !req
96. You're gonna steal my question.Copy !req
97. Ow!Copy !req
98. Mom, what happened?Copy !req
99. She poured hot soup on me!Copy !req
100. I was adjusting my undercarriage,Copy !req
101. and I accidentally spilled it.Copy !req
102. She poured hot soup on
her, dude. She was adjustingCopy !req
103. her under car... Wait a second. What...Copy !req
104. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?Copy !req
105. We-we could also get some soup.Copy !req
106. No, the-the video. We can go back and
watch the video and see Oh, we can watchCopy !req
107. what actually happened. And see... Yes.Copy !req
108. Complain about the soup.
She's beating the shit out...Copy !req
109. Gentleman, welcome to your moms.Copy !req
110. Wow, man. This is a serious setup.Copy !req
111. Yeah, no, it's no joke.
I like how you moved the desk.Copy !req
112. All right, uh, look, there was an
incident with some soup. Yeah.Copy !req
113. And, uh, did you get anything?
'Cause I'd like to seeCopy !req
114. if-if his mom poured
on my ma on purpose.Copy !req
115. Oh, she definitely did pour it.Copy !req
116. And she definitely did it on purpose.Copy !req
117. There you go.
She's abusing my mom, man.Copy !req
118. It's clear as day,
but what's really interestingCopy !req
119. is what seems
to be happening right hereCopy !req
120. in the live feed.Copy !req
121. Oh. You want to sleep.Copy !req
122. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
123. - Huh.
- UhCopy !req
124. what the hell, man? That's your mom
abusing my mom! Well... No, it's not!Copy !req
125. That's just one of those things,
you know, like where... What thing?Copy !req
126. You know, where you're just
like, you're like, it's likeCopy !req
127. a "Why, I oughta,"
but, you know, it's no big deal.Copy !req
128. Why, I oughta what?
Why, I oughta bludgeon youCopy !req
129. with a hammer. But she's not
actually gonna do it, you know?Copy !req
130. It's like how Ralph Kramden on
The Honeymooners would alwaysCopy !req
131. say, "Why, I oughta." He was
threatening to beat his wife.Copy !req
132. Uh, yeah. Yeah. You
know? I mean, it's-it's funnyCopy !req
133. 'cause he's not actually gonna do it, even
though the threat That was funny. Yeah.Copy !req
134. Is always there. Yeah, he might...
Yeah, he might cave her face in,Copy !req
135. but he won't. He won't. Yeah. Yeah,
yeah. But he's not gonna, you know?Copy !req
136. That's... Yeah, b... Well, that's funny.Copy !req
137. But in this circumstance, it's
not funny because it's my mom!Copy !req
138. Right, right. Wait,
actually, you know what,Copy !req
139. we-we don't really know for sure
whether it's funny or not.Copy !req
140. You know, let-let me try
something here. Let me just...Copy !req
141. You want to sleep.Copy !req
142. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
143. Hmm. Well, what-what is that?Copy !req
144. Well, I don't know, you made me
think of, like, sitcoms,Copy !req
145. The Honeymooners. I just
thought, "This isn't very funny."Copy !req
146. But if I add a laugh track,
maybe, I don't know.Copy !req
147. But it's not a show. This is their lives.Copy !req
148. Yeah, but it-it does kind
of lighten it up for me.Copy !req
149. Well, yeah, it did lighten it.
But I'm not saying it... CanCopy !req
150. can you play it again
without the laugh track?Copy !req
151. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
152. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
153. See, that goes right back to
super dark. It's a bummer without it,Copy !req
154. isn't it? It's not funny,
it's not funny. Yeah, no.Copy !req
155. Yeah, but let me... let me just try it againCopy !req
156. with the, uh...Copy !req
157. You want to sleep.Copy !req
158. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
159. That's funny. That's funny!
I mean... Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
160. It's weird, because the
situation really isn't funny,Copy !req
161. and you add a laugh track... I know,
but the laughing tells me that it's funny.Copy !req
162. They have timing, man. They have
timing, for sure. Yeah. That's great.Copy !req
163. I don't understand. Is this a
dark situation or a comical one?Copy !req
164. Well, we-we don't really know
yet, Mac. We don't know. ButCopy !req
165. I tell you what, why don't
we stick around back hereCopy !req
166. for a little while. Let's watch
how this whole thing plays out.Copy !req
167. You know? I'll keep sweetening
the situationCopy !req
168. as it calls for it,Copy !req
169. and you might as well stick around.Copy !req
170. Did you just ash in my tapioca?Copy !req
171. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
172. Yeah. All right, yeah.
I like that. This is gold.Copy !req
173. They got something, man.
Like... Uh-huh. It's really working.Copy !req
174. I don't know what this is, but...Copy !req
175. What's this? Oh, check it out. Mrs. MacCopy !req
176. and Mrs. Kelly have
a classic comedic rivalry.Copy !req
177. I mean, they're going at it like the greats.Copy !req
178. Like Abbott and Costello, Tom and Jerry.Copy !req
179. It's amazing. Huh.Copy !req
180. Oh, sorry. Fly.Copy !req
181. Buzz off!Copy !req
182. All right, well, you know,
if you guys are lookingCopy !req
183. for a comedy troupe that beats
the shit out of each otherCopy !req
184. for laughs, there's nobody
better than the Three Stooges.Copy !req
185. Put me on the show.Copy !req
186. Whoa. What show?
It's not... it's not a show.Copy !req
187. Yeah... We're just watching our momsCopy !req
188. to figure out what the situation is.Copy !req
189. Wh... I mean, it could be a show,Copy !req
190. but, I mean, you're right.Copy !req
191. It's-it's not a show.Copy !req
192. Yeah, well it certainly looks likeCopy !req
193. you're trying to make a show,Copy !req
194. and I think it's a good idea,Copy !req
195. and I think you should put me in.Copy !req
196. Why? Yeah.Copy !req
197. 'Cause I'm so much
funnier than these two.Copy !req
198. Look at them, they're just
smashing each other with stuff.Copy !req
199. I could add a whole, like,Copy !req
200. physical comedy element, you know?Copy !req
201. Hey, I smell chips.Copy !req
202. What are we watching?Copy !req
203. We're not really watching anything, yet.Copy !req
204. Until Big Funny shows up.Copy !req
205. You'll see.Copy !req
206. Ooh.Copy !req
207. Mrs. Kelly looks hot on screen.Copy !req
208. Come on, man, knock that off.Copy !req
209. There's something about people on TV.Copy !req
210. Catch me up. W-What did I miss?Copy !req
211. Uh, well, the grunty one,Copy !req
212. physically abuses the shrill one.Copy !req
213. And the shrill one psychologically abusesCopy !req
214. the grunty one.Copy !req
215. And it really plays.Copy !req
216. It's really funny,Copy !req
217. And, you know what, uh, actually,Copy !req
218. I-I'm gonna try something here, guys.Copy !req
219. You are a horrible woman,Copy !req
220. and I can't wait until those
cigarettes kill you.Copy !req
221. And I shall dance on your grave.Copy !req
222. Yeah.Copy !req
223. This is so great!Copy !req
224. And having those other people laughCopy !req
225. tells me when I should laugh.Copy !req
226. Good. Yeah.Copy !req
227. I love that.Copy !req
228. And the music that I added makes youCopy !req
229. you know that it's light. Yeah.Copy !req
230. It's also helping me realize
that I think the situation'sCopy !req
231. okay o-over there, you know?Copy !req
232. And-and, honestly, I'm
gonna ignore my mom's note,Copy !req
233. like I ignore her phone calls.Copy !req
234. I think we're good here.Copy !req
235. They have chemistry.Copy !req
236. And I really loveCopy !req
237. how playful and fun
my mom's coming off.Copy !req
238. Well. Uh, no.Copy !req
239. Yeah, no, no. Never. No, no.Copy !req
240. I actually find your mom very off-putting.Copy !req
241. Yeah. She's hard-hard on the eyes.Copy !req
242. Tough on the eyes.Copy !req
243. And you know what else?Copy !req
244. Like, super one-note. Yeah.Copy !req
245. No! No, no, no, no.Copy !req
246. My mom's got lots of notes.Copy !req
247. She's a symphony.Copy !req
248. She's getting so many laughs.Copy !req
249. She's pushing the...
I'm concerned about longevity.Copy !req
250. I mean, she's getting laughs from us,Copy !req
251. now, sure, but, uh,
I think that we're gonnaCopy !req
252. have a problem in the long run.Copy !req
253. You just don't understand the nuanceCopy !req
254. - of her performance.
- I don't.Copy !req
255. Cut to a close-up.Copy !req
256. We need more close-ups.Copy !req
257. Mmm.Copy !req
258. And she's constantly looking directlyCopy !req
259. into the camera somehow.Copy !req
260. She's repulsive. She is repulsive.Copy !req
261. You know what? I'm gonna go over thereCopy !req
262. and-and I'm gonna show you.Copy !req
263. Sh-she can pop, okay?Copy !req
264. She's gonna pop. You'll see.Copy !req
265. Uh-oh.Copy !req
266. Hang on. What's up?Copy !req
267. My mom's trying to call me.Copy !req
268. Hmm. Oh, wait, wait, wait,
you know what?Copy !req
269. Don't pick up. Don't pick up.Copy !req
270. Oh, no, I never would. Okay, good.Copy !req
271. But let's let that play out.Copy !req
272. Camera one.Copy !req
273. Oh, Charlie.Copy !req
274. Charlie, please pick up.Copy !req
275. One, two, three.Copy !req
276. Charlie, where are you?Copy !req
277. One, two, three.Copy !req
278. Oh.Copy !req
279. God, it's me, Bonnie.Copy !req
280. I'm so worried about my Charlie boy.Copy !req
281. Please don't have him be
in a ditch somewhere,Copy !req
282. or squished between two trains,Copy !req
283. and his body mangled,Copy !req
284. so if they move the trains,Copy !req
285. all his guts and bodily fluidsCopy !req
286. and organs spill out.Copy !req
287. Please, GodCopy !req
288. don't have him die.Copy !req
289. Aw.Copy !req
290. I knew it.Copy !req
291. She's a star.Copy !req
292. Huh. Charlie.Copy !req
293. This-this could be huge.Copy !req
294. Yeah? I mean,Copy !req
295. I think this really could be a show,Copy !req
296. with your mom as the star, I mean,Copy !req
297. imagine what that would do
for your mom.Copy !req
298. I mean, w-what do you think?Copy !req
299. Oh, shit.Copy !req
300. Well, now I'm thinkingCopy !req
301. about my mom starring
in a show, and I like it.Copy !req
302. Um, now I'm thinking about minotaurs.Copy !req
303. Now I'm thinking
about a hoagie sandwich.Copy !req
304. Now I'm thinking about a glass
of water to go with the chips.Copy !req
305. How-how many of my thoughts
do you need?Copy !req
306. Do you want me to go on and on, or...Copy !req
307. No, that's... We're good.Copy !req
308. Mom, you know that I think
you are the most captivatingCopy !req
309. and beautiful woman
in the world, don't you?Copy !req
310. No. Oh!Copy !req
311. I got something for you.Copy !req
312. Sort of brighten you up a little bit.Copy !req
313. What the hell is that?Copy !req
314. Lipstick.Copy !req
315. "Heart breaker."Copy !req
316. Just like you.Copy !req
317. I ain't wearing no lipstick.Copy !req
318. Come on, Mom.Copy !req
319. Be-be agreeable,Copy !req
320. which makes you root able,Copy !req
321. which makes you likeable.Copy !req
322. You!Copy !req
323. That's a joke.Copy !req
324. That's a joke, we will beep that, I think.Copy !req
325. He will beep that, and that'll be... funny.Copy !req
326. Uh, you know, let me just, uh,Copy !req
327. try and put some of this...Copy !req
328. Buzz off!Copy !req
329. That's good... buzz off.Copy !req
330. You know, that's like, uh, a call back,Copy !req
331. which could become a catchphrase.Copy !req
332. You should probably think of a few moreCopy !req
333. so you're not just too one-note.Copy !req
334. What about, um,Copy !req
335. "I can't even."Copy !req
336. Or, "That went well."Copy !req
337. I'm gonna take a shit.Copy !req
338. That's not a good catchphrase.Copy !req
339. It is healthy, though.Copy !req
340. Oh...Copy !req
341. Cock-a-doodle-doo!Copy !req
342. What are you doing?Copy !req
343. Just the wacky neighbor, swinging byCopy !req
344. with the usual hijinks.Copy !req
345. Aga-aga-aga-agoo.Copy !req
346. I'm sorry.Copy !req
347. Do I hear someone upstairs?Copy !req
348. Oh, neighbor!Copy !req
349. Just swingin' by to say, "Hello."Copy !req
350. Will you look at that?Copy !req
351. I've got my dumb head
stuck in the banister.Copy !req
352. Dee's a nightmare, dude. It's awful.Copy !req
353. You're not gonna try
and put a laugh in, or...Copy !req
354. Uh, nowhere to put it.Copy !req
355. Yeah, you can't tell where the jokesCopy !req
356. are supposed to be. Exactly.Copy !req
357. Whoops. Okay.Copy !req
358. It's actually a little bit stuck... Mac?Copy !req
359. Mac, you want to come pull on me?Copy !req
360. Dee, I-I don't know what you're doing,Copy !req
361. because n-none of this is playing,Copy !req
362. and you're not funny at all and...Copy !req
363. Hey, you know what, Dee?Copy !req
364. From here, what you're doingCopy !req
365. actually is kind of funny.Copy !req
366. I wish we could get Mac out of there.Copy !req
367. Oh, I know. Terrible.Copy !req
368. He's making me sick. Yeah. Ugly.Copy !req
369. Mrs. Kelly, can you please help me out?Copy !req
370. Uh, my head is really stuck.Copy !req
371. Um, I don't do well with emergencies,Copy !req
372. and I have to answer the door.Copy !req
373. Hi, Jack. Hi, Bonnie.Copy !req
374. Just stopping by to
pick up that hard driveCopy !req
375. I accidentally left under the floorboards.Copy !req
376. Oh, come on in. Okay.Copy !req
377. Man, what is Uncle Jack doing there?Copy !req
378. He's awful. Yeah, so creepy.Copy !req
379. He's gonna ruin the show.Copy !req
380. Yeah, that creepy pedophile vibeCopy !req
381. he's got going on
is going to be a tough sell.Copy !req
382. You know, even in Europe.Copy !req
383. Uh, let me try something here.Copy !req
384. Let me take that jacket.Copy !req
385. Ooh!Copy !req
386. Thank you.Copy !req
387. Mm.Copy !req
388. Aw.Copy !req
389. Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
390. That's funny from over here.Copy !req
391. Yeah, yeah, just give me
a good push on...Copy !req
392. W-What are you doing?
Hey, w-w-what are you doing?Copy !req
393. What the hell was that, man?Copy !req
394. Wh-what, that fart?Copy !req
395. I'm just trying some new stuff.Copy !req
396. No, n-n-not the fart, no.Copy !req
397. The fart's good. Yeah, no, I'm talkingCopy !req
398. about the-the sound
effects under my uncle.Copy !req
399. What-what...? Well, uhCopy !req
400. I'm trying to make him likeableCopy !req
401. by turning him into the romantic lead.Copy !req
402. Romantic lead?Copy !req
403. They're brother and sister.Copy !req
404. Yeah, the audience doesn't know that.Copy !req
405. Well, you know what? I want to see herCopy !req
406. bang somebody, but not him.Copy !req
407. Yeah. All right.Copy !req
408. What-what if you make him like a,Copy !req
409. like a spy or something, right?Copy !req
410. And he's looking for his hard drive, right?Copy !req
411. Because spies are always
looking for hard drives.Copy !req
412. Or, or, or how about if you write inCopy !req
413. some scumbag stranger
comes in off the street,Copy !req
414. and goes to town on Bonnie.Copy !req
415. All right, look, I don't
want to over-write this thing.Copy !req
416. And-and all of a sudden you want
to turn it into a spy thriller?Copy !req
417. Well... That's... I don't
want to genre jump.Copy !req
418. Let-Let's just see how the
romantic lead thing plays outCopy !req
419. for a minute here. All right.Copy !req
420. All right. All right?Copy !req
421. Life is hard on your ownCopy !req
422. Life is hard on your ownCopy !req
423. But here's a place to call homeCopy !req
424. Old Lady House,
where there are no lawsCopy !req
425. Old Lady HouseCopy !req
426. They're in menopauseCopy !req
427. Old Lady HouseCopy !req
428. You'll never be alone.Copy !req
429. Yeah?Copy !req
430. What... what do you guys think?Copy !req
431. I mean, um, obviously,
the audio is temp, you know.Copy !req
432. But we could keep my
singing voice if you like it.Copy !req
433. I like it. I like it, and it
feels like a real show,Copy !req
434. and I love all the letters
flying around on the screen.Copy !req
435. Those are interesting. Those are names,Copy !req
436. uh, 'cause it's a credit
sequence, which is... Okay.Copy !req
437. Pretty good, but-but why isn't
my mom in the credit sequence?Copy !req
438. 'Cause I feel like she was popping.Copy !req
439. You're lucky your mom's
in the credit sequence at all.Copy !req
440. Because I'm writing her off.
She's terrible. Let's...Copy !req
441. Yeah, the word thing you did
was good. Yeah, it was good, right?Copy !req
442. I mean, we got to get
somebody younger in there,Copy !req
443. somebody hipper, somebody
who's more fun. Yeah.Copy !req
444. You know, preferably
somebody of color. Okay.Copy !req
445. What are you talking about?
You can't kick my mom out.Copy !req
446. She lives in the goddamn house.Copy !req
447. Well, I'm gonna cut around her, then.Copy !req
448. Yeah, we're gonna...
Until the ethnic comes, and thenCopy !req
449. we're gonna need your mom's
room. We're gonna get an ethnic.Copy !req
450. You can't get rid of my
mom! I'm getting rid of her.Copy !req
451. I'm going to cut around her. Mac,Copy !req
452. she's out, she's out. I'm gonna...Copy !req
453. This is... He thinks she pops.Copy !req
454. She's terrible. Yeah.Copy !req
455. ♪ ♪Oh, Mrs. Kelly, Mrs. Kelly.Copy !req
456. Mrs. Kelly, hold on. Just give me
one second. Ooh! One, two, three.Copy !req
457. One, two three. What? What?Copy !req
458. One, two, three. Oh, my God, what?Copy !req
459. Hi, Frank.Copy !req
460. What are you doing here?Copy !req
461. I came to see you.Copy !req
462. Oh! Frank, is that you? Hey,Copy !req
463. come help me out, I'm stuck.Copy !req
464. Not now, Deandra.Copy !req
465. Oh, by the way,Copy !req
466. none of the stuff you're doing is playing.Copy !req
467. Except for the fart stuff.Copy !req
468. What fart stuff?Copy !req
469. See? You should have farted
after you said that.Copy !req
470. Just come help me get out of this thing.Copy !req
471. Put a fart in, Dennis. What?Copy !req
472. Oh, goddamn it, what's
Frank doing over there?Copy !req
473. I... You know what,
I think he's playing the scumbagCopy !req
474. who comes in off the street
to bang your mom.Copy !req
475. Well, I don't want him
banging my mom, dude. Shit.Copy !req
476. Oh! Uh, hi, Frank.Copy !req
477. I didn't know, uh, Bonnie wasCopy !req
478. gonna be having company.
I would have put my hands on.Copy !req
479. How embarrassing.Copy !req
480. Get lost. I'm gonna bang your sister.Copy !req
481. You got it.Copy !req
482. Goddamn it, dude,Copy !req
483. This is gross. I-I don't want this.Copy !req
484. Can we turn this into
something else? I mean...Copy !req
485. Well, maybe... You know what,
maybe we could turn this into,Copy !req
486. like, a love triangle thingCopy !req
487. between Jack, your mom and Frank?Copy !req
488. No, I don't want a love triangle between...Copy !req
489. Well... I don't want any
shape of love between them.Copy !req
490. That's just gross.Copy !req
491. Ooh!Copy !req
492. I'll be in the upstairs atticCopy !req
493. rooting around if anyone needs me.Copy !req
494. Yeah, I do. I need you.
Oh, I'll be up there, Dee.Copy !req
495. U-Uncle Jack... Come
on, Bonnie. This bonerCopy !req
496. ain't gonna last forever. Okay.Copy !req
497. Yeah. Goddamn it, though,
he's really gonna bang her? Yeah.Copy !req
498. Did Mac put a camera
in my mom's room?Copy !req
499. No, I did.Copy !req
500. Listen, people... it does not matterCopy !req
501. how you people try to ruin this thing.Copy !req
502. I will make it work, because I'm a genius.Copy !req
503. Now look at the... plant!Copy !req
504. Look at the plant.Copy !req
505. Now look at the globe. Up.
Back to the plant.Copy !req
506. Can't cut around her when she's
in every shot, can you, Dennis?Copy !req
507. And look at the teddy
bear. And the plant. Great.Copy !req
508. This disgusting bitch is in every shot?Copy !req
509. I don't want to stand here no more.Copy !req
510. I got to take another dump.Copy !req
511. Oh, look, Mom, no more
shitting, all right?Copy !req
512. Um... and when you go, are you
not having a full elimination?Copy !req
513. I mean, why are you going so much?Copy !req
514. Mom?Copy !req
515. Mom, where are you?Copy !req
516. Don't try and steal focus, Charlie.Copy !req
517. Charlie, can't breathe. What? What?Copy !req
518. Help. Help, Charlie.Copy !req
519. Get off me, you crazy bitch!Copy !req
520. Mom, look, no more shitting!Copy !req
521. Let's go, we got to go
where the action is. Oh!Copy !req
522. Mom! Frank!Copy !req
523. Come on, stop banging!Copy !req
524. Charlie. What a pleasant surprise.Copy !req
525. Get off me, man. Gett off!Copy !req
526. Mom stays in the
picture. Let's go, come on!Copy !req
527. Charlie! I only got to third!
Come on, get out of here.Copy !req
528. Go. You can have any woman you
want... it's got to be my mom?Copy !req
529. Hey, come on, what are you doing?Copy !req
530. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, Mom,Copy !req
531. we got to go
where the action is. Come on.Copy !req
532. God... Goddamn it!Copy !req
533. I was sliding into home, Charlie.Copy !req
534. Get out of here, Frank. Aw, come on.Copy !req
535. Son of a bitch. Get lost! Charlie! AwCopy !req
536. I can't breathe. You guys, I'm pretty sureCopy !req
537. I'm gonna die in this banister.Copy !req
538. Charlie, what's going on?Copy !req
539. Look, I'm coming clean. We've
been watching you guys, right?Copy !req
540. The presents that we brought
over... they're hidden cameras.Copy !req
541. The teddy bear, the globe... all that shit.Copy !req
542. I don't know how you didn't
see it. And then weCopy !req
543. turned it into a show.
The show was pretty good.Copy !req
544. We had chips. But look...
this all started 'cause youCopy !req
545. sent me this in the mail.
I got freaked out.Copy !req
546. Well, I sent it to you
because I missed you,Copy !req
547. I wanted to see more of you.Copy !req
548. ♪ ♪That's all that is? It's not
because you feel trappedCopy !req
549. in your own home and you
guys are fighting too muchCopy !req
550. or whatever it is?Copy !req
551. No. We get along great.Copy !req
552. Oh, but this makes me feel
so much better.Copy !req
553. Now that I know
that you're watching me.Copy !req
554. My mom feels the same way.Copy !req
555. And she also says that she loves meCopy !req
556. and misses me. Well, shoot,Copy !req
557. all right, well, why don't we bring it on inCopy !req
558. for a hug, huh? Okay!Copy !req
559. This was all just
one big misunderstanding.Copy !req
560. Get off me, dude. Get off.
What are you doing? Get off.Copy !req
561. ♪ Old Lady House ♪Copy !req
562. ♪ You'll never be alone. ♪Copy !req
563. I got to say it: That's
the best episode yet. That is!Copy !req
564. It's a classic! Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, I love the buttonCopy !req
565. at the ending. Yeah? Oh,
that was the biggest jokeCopy !req
566. in the show. The biggest
moment. It was, it was. Was it?Copy !req
567. I mean it, really. Oh,
well, guys, look, I told youCopy !req
568. I know my physical comedy. Yeah.Copy !req
569. Right? Okay, yeah.Copy !req
570. Oh! Oh! What are you doing?Copy !req
571. What's wrong? Hey.Copy !req
572. Show's been cancelled, guys.Copy !req
573. What?! WhaCopy !req
574. I got a four-episode sex arc.Copy !req
575. Nah, nah. You know,
now-now that everybody knowsCopy !req
576. they're being filmed, it's more
like a reality TV show,Copy !req
577. and I just can't enjoy it when
the people who are being filmedCopy !req
578. know they're being filmed.
Yeah, but what aboutCopy !req
579. our show, man?
What about making my mom famous?Copy !req
580. It's just not funny anymore. Oh, oh,Copy !req
581. oh, oh... I know how to make it funny.Copy !req
582. Oh!Copy !req
583. What? Oh, ICopy !req
584. I just shit my pants.Copy !req
585. Oh, God! Oh! Oh, God.Copy !req
586. Oh! Oh, God.Copy !req
587. Oh, Dee. That's not funny.Copy !req
588. I just meant to fart. I didn'tCopy !req
589. I didn't... Oh, my God!
Without the laugh trackCopy !req
590. that's, like, really horrible.
Yeah, you're justCopy !req
591. a grown woman who shit her pants.Copy !req
592. Now it's funny again.Copy !req
593. ♪ Life is hard on your own ♪Copy !req
594. ♪ Life is hard on your own ♪Copy !req
595. ♪ But here's a place to call home ♪Copy !req
596. ♪ Old Lady House,
where there are no laws ♪Copy !req
597. ♪ Old Lady House,
they're in menopause ♪Copy !req
598. ♪ Old Lady House,
you'll never be alone. ♪Copy !req