1. No, your mom is
the monster, all right?Copy !req
2. My mom is the sweet one.Copy !req
3. Oh, the sweet one?Copy !req
4. Are you kidding me? Uh, look,Copy !req
5. if anything, my mom's
aggravatingly sweet,Copy !req
6. but we're not having an argument
about who's sweeter, what...Copy !req
7. Whoa, whoa, hang on a second here, guys.Copy !req
8. What are you going on about?Copy !req
9. All right, look,Copy !req
10. my mom's been calling me,Copy !req
11. like, all the time, okay?Copy !req
12. She's clearly upset.Copy !req
13. Well, how would you know?
You don't even answer.Copy !req
14. My mom stopped calling me altogether.Copy !req
15. Your mom stopped calling youCopy !req
16. the day the phone was invented.Copy !req
17. My mom has a great relationship with me.Copy !req
18. - She never calls you!
- She calls me all the time!Copy !req
19. - Yes, she does!
- But I have proof, anyway.Copy !req
20. I have proof. Look at this.Copy !req
21. I got this in the mail.Copy !req
22. Is that, like, a ransom
note from Mac's mom?Copy !req
23. Huh? No. This... my mom sent this.Copy !req
24. Oh. Why would your mom write
a ransom note to herself?Copy !req
25. Oh, it's not a...
it's not a ransom note.Copy !req
26. This is just how she writes notes to me.Copy !req
27. That-that's like a bunch
of gibberish, Charlie.Copy !req
28. I don't know...Copy !req
29. Is that a hieroglyph of a dog?Copy !req
30. Yeah, that's the animal my
mom fears the most, right?Copy !req
31. She-she feels trapped
inside her own home.Copy !req
32. There is no wayCopy !req
33. you could get that from this.Copy !req
34. Oh-oh, okay, guys, guys, guys.Copy !req
35. I think I have a pretty
simple solution here.Copy !req
36. You see, ever since I moved inCopy !req
37. with Mac, and Dee and Old Black Man,Copy !req
38. my surveillance system's
just lying around in storage.Copy !req
39. I got about a baker's dozen of cameras.Copy !req
40. They're just sitting there.Copy !req
41. I say we set them up in your mom's homeCopy !req
42. and find out what's
really going on in there.Copy !req
43. - That could work. I mean, yeah.
- Great idea.Copy !req
44. - You don't think that's creepy?
- What?Copy !req
45. He's talking about spying on your moms.Copy !req
46. So what?Copy !req
47. You can't spy on unsuspecting women.Copy !req
48. That's horrible.Copy !req
49. Uh, they're not women. They're old.Copy !req
50. At a certain point a woman
goes from being a womanCopy !req
51. to just being an old person.Copy !req
52. - True.
- Well, what happens to a man?Copy !req
53. A man lives and then dies. Why
are we having this argument?Copy !req
54. - A man remains a man.
- Dennis, it's a great idea.Copy !req
55. Okay, and no one's gonna get hurt.Copy !req
56. It's not like they're gonna
get exploited in any way, right?Copy !req
57. No, no, no, exactly. I
think once we have a lookCopy !req
58. at what's going on in there,
we might find the situationCopy !req
59. to be, uh, pretty comical.Copy !req
60. Oh, it's so nice of you to bring usCopy !req
61. all these lovely gifts, Charlie.Copy !req
62. The plant, the globe,Copy !req
63. and the little teddy bear.Copy !req
64. Oh, no, no, no, no, Mom.Copy !req
65. No, we aren't gonna
touch the gifts, right?Copy !req
66. Okay, we don't touch them.
We just, we look at them.Copy !req
67. - Okay.
- And they look back at you and they... Hands off.Copy !req
68. Mom, make sure you
don't water this plant.Copy !req
69. - Your mom's not gonna water the plants.
- Oh.Copy !req
70. She has a very nurturing
nature. She would...Copy !req
71. Oh, Mrs. Mac, are you
gonna water the plants?Copy !req
72. - See.
- Oh, Charlie.Copy !req
73. I'm so glad to see you.Copy !req
74. - Yeah, okay.
- I was worried thatCopy !req
75. - you were dead.
- Why?Copy !req
76. Oh, my mom also thought I was dead,Copy !req
77. and she also loves me very much.Copy !req
78. No, I don't.Copy !req
79. Oh, she meant the first part.Copy !req
80. She meant the first part where I...Copy !req
81. because she can't imagine a
life without me, right, Mom?Copy !req
82. I don't give a shit.Copy !req
83. - See.
- I'll put you outCopy !req
84. of the misery of this conversation. Mom?Copy !req
85. Is there anything you want to tell meCopy !req
86. that's going on in the house?Copy !req
87. Anything that's bothering you?Copy !req
88. - Anything you want to talk about?
- Mom, is there anythingCopy !req
89. - that's going on in the house
- What are you doing?Copy !req
90. that you want to talk
about that's bothering youCopy !req
91. - What are you doing?
- in the house or I'm asking my mom a simple question.Copy !req
92. You're asking her the exact
same question I just asked,Copy !req
93. - so what are you...
- Do you own all of the questions?Copy !req
94. Do you own that question?Copy !req
95. You're gonna steal my question.Copy !req
96. Ow!Copy !req
97. Mom, what happened?Copy !req
98. She poured hot soup on me!Copy !req
99. I was adjusting my undercarriage,Copy !req
100. and I accidentally spilled it.Copy !req
101. - She poured hot soup on her, dude.
- She was adjustingCopy !req
102. - her undercar... Wait a second.
- What...Copy !req
103. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?Copy !req
104. We-we could also get some soup.Copy !req
105. No, the-the video. We can go back
and watch the videoCopy !req
106. - and see what actually happened.
- Oh, we can watch and see... Yes.Copy !req
107. - ... complain about the soup.
- She's beating the shit out...Copy !req
108. Gentleman, welcome to your moms.Copy !req
109. Wow, man. This is a serious setup.Copy !req
110. Yeah, no, it's no joke. I
like how you moved the desk.Copy !req
111. - All right, uh, look,
- Yeah.Copy !req
112. there was an incident with some soup.Copy !req
113. And, uh, did you get anything?
'Cause I'd like to seeCopy !req
114. if-if his mom poured
on my ma on purpose.Copy !req
115. Oh, she definitely did pour it.Copy !req
116. And she definitely did it on purpose.Copy !req
117. There you go. She's abusing my mom, man.Copy !req
118. It's clear as day, but
what's really interestingCopy !req
119. is what seems to be happening right hereCopy !req
120. in the live feed.Copy !req
121. Oh. You want to sleep.Copy !req
122. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
123. - Huh.
- Uh... what the hell, man?Copy !req
124. - That's your mom abusing my mom!
- Well... No, it's not!Copy !req
125. That's just one of those things,
you know,Copy !req
126. - like where...
- What thing?Copy !req
127. You know, where you're just
like, you're like, it's likeCopy !req
128. a "Why, I oughta," but,
you know, it's no big deal.Copy !req
129. - Why, I oughta what?
- Why, I oughta bludgeon youCopy !req
130. with a hammer. But she's not
actually gonna do it, you know?Copy !req
131. It's like how Ralph Kramden on
The Honeymooners would alwaysCopy !req
132. say, "Why, I oughta." He was
threatening to beat his wife.Copy !req
133. - Uh, yeah.
- Yeah. You know? I mean, it's-it's funnyCopy !req
134. - 'cause he's not actually gonna do it,
- That was funny. Yeah.Copy !req
135. even though the threat is always there.Copy !req
136. - Yeah, he might...
- Yeah, he might cave her face in,Copy !req
137. - but he won't. He won't. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. But he's not gonna, you know?Copy !req
138. - That's...
- Yeah, b... Well, that's funny.Copy !req
139. But in this circumstance, it's
not funny because it's my mom!Copy !req
140. Right, right. Wait,
actually, you know what,Copy !req
141. we-we don't really know for
sure whether it's funny or not.Copy !req
142. You know, let-let me try something here.Copy !req
143. Let me just...Copy !req
144. You want to sleep.Copy !req
145. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
146. Hmm. Well, what-what is that?Copy !req
147. Well, I don't know, you made
me think of, like, sitcoms,Copy !req
148. The Honeymooners. I just
thought, "This isn't very funny."Copy !req
149. But if I add a laugh
track, maybe, I don't know.Copy !req
150. But it's not a show.
This is their lives.Copy !req
151. Yeah, but it-it does kind
of lighten it up for me.Copy !req
152. Well, yeah, it did lighten it.
But I'm not saying it...Copy !req
153. Can... can you play it again
without the laugh track?Copy !req
154. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
155. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
156. - See, that goes right back to super dark.
- It's a bummer without it, isn't it?Copy !req
157. - It's not funny, it's not funny.
- Yeah, no.Copy !req
158. Yeah, but let me...
let me just try it againCopy !req
159. with the, uh...Copy !req
160. You want to sleep.Copy !req
161. Well, I'll sleep you.Copy !req
162. - That's funny. That's funny!
- I mean... Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
163. It's weird, because the
situation really isn't funny,Copy !req
164. - and you add a laugh track...
- I know, but the laughing tells me that it's funny.Copy !req
165. They have timing, man.Copy !req
166. - They have timing, for sure. Yeah.
- That's great.Copy !req
167. I don't understand. Is this a
dark situation or a comical one?Copy !req
168. Well, we-we don't really know
yet, Mac. We don't know. But...Copy !req
169. I tell you what, why don't
we stick around back hereCopy !req
170. for a little while. Let's watch
how this whole thing plays out.Copy !req
171. You know? I'll keep
sweetening the situationCopy !req
172. as it calls for it,Copy !req
173. and you might as well stick around.Copy !req
174. Did you just ash in my tapioca?Copy !req
175. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
176. - Yeah. All right, yeah. I like that.
- This is gold.Copy !req
177. - They got something, man. Like... Uh-huh.
- It's really working.Copy !req
178. I don't know what this is, but...Copy !req
179. - What's this?
- Oh, check it out. Mrs. MacCopy !req
180. and Mrs. Kelly have a
classic comedic rivalry.Copy !req
181. I mean, they're going
at it like the greats.Copy !req
182. Like Abbott and Costello, Tom and Jerry.Copy !req
183. - It's amazing.
- Huh.Copy !req
184. Oh, sorry. Fly.Copy !req
185. Buzz off!Copy !req
186. All right, well, you know,
if you guys are lookingCopy !req
187. for a comedy troupe that beats
the shit out of each otherCopy !req
188. for laughs, there's nobody
better than the Three Stooges.Copy !req
189. Put me on the show.Copy !req
190. - Whoa.
- What show? It's not... it's not a show.Copy !req
191. - Yeah...
- We're just watching our momsCopy !req
192. to figure out what the situation is.Copy !req
193. Wh... I mean, it could be a show,Copy !req
194. but, I mean, you're right.Copy !req
195. It's-it's not a show.Copy !req
196. Yeah, well it certainly looks likeCopy !req
197. you're trying to make a show,Copy !req
198. and I think it's a good idea,Copy !req
199. and I think you should put me in.Copy !req
200. - Why?
- Yeah.Copy !req
201. 'Cause I'm so much
funnier than these two.Copy !req
202. Look at them, they're just
smashing each other with stuff.Copy !req
203. I could add a whole, like,Copy !req
204. physical comedy element, you know?Copy !req
205. Hey, I smell chips.Copy !req
206. What are we watching?Copy !req
207. We're not really watching anything, yet.Copy !req
208. Until Big Funny shows up.Copy !req
209. You'll see.Copy !req
210. Ooh.Copy !req
211. Mrs. Kelly looks hot on screen.Copy !req
212. Come on, man, knock that off.Copy !req
213. There's something about people on TV.Copy !req
214. Catch me up. W-what did I miss?Copy !req
215. Uh, well, the grunty one,Copy !req
216. physically abuses the shrill one.Copy !req
217. And the shrill one
psychologically abusesCopy !req
218. the grunty one.Copy !req
219. And it really plays.Copy !req
220. It's really funny,Copy !req
221. And, you know what, uh, actually,Copy !req
222. I-I'm gonna try something here, guys.Copy !req
223. You are a horrible woman,Copy !req
224. and I can't wait until
those cigarettes kill you.Copy !req
225. And I shall dance on your grave.Copy !req
226. Yeah.Copy !req
227. This is so great!Copy !req
228. And having those other people laughCopy !req
229. tells me when I should laugh.Copy !req
230. - Good.
- Yeah.Copy !req
231. I love that.Copy !req
232. And the music that I added makes youCopy !req
233. - you know that it's light.
- Yeah.Copy !req
234. It's also helping me realize
that I think the situation'sCopy !req
235. okay o-over there, you know?Copy !req
236. And-and, honestly, I'm
gonna ignore my mom's note,Copy !req
237. like I ignore her phone calls.Copy !req
238. I think we're good here.Copy !req
239. They have chemistry.Copy !req
240. And I really loveCopy !req
241. how playful and fun my mom's coming off.Copy !req
242. - Well.
- Uh, no.Copy !req
243. - Yeah, no, no.
- Never.Copy !req
244. No, no. I actually find your
mom very off-putting.Copy !req
245. - Yeah.
- She's hard-hard on the eyes.Copy !req
246. Tough on the eyes.Copy !req
247. And you know what else?Copy !req
248. - Like, super one-note.
- Yeah.Copy !req
249. No! No, no, no, no.Copy !req
250. My mom's got lots of notes.Copy !req
251. She's a symphony.Copy !req
252. She's getting so many laughs.Copy !req
253. - She's pushing the...
- I'm concerned about longevity.Copy !req
254. I mean, she's getting laughs from us,Copy !req
255. now, sure, but, uh, I
think that we're gonnaCopy !req
256. have a problem in the long run.Copy !req
257. You just don't understand the nuanceCopy !req
258. - of her performance.
- I don't.Copy !req
259. Cut to a close-up.Copy !req
260. We need more close-ups.Copy !req
261. Mmm.Copy !req
262. And she's constantly looking directlyCopy !req
263. into the camera somehow.Copy !req
264. - She's repulsive.
- She is repulsive.Copy !req
265. You know what? I'm gonna go over thereCopy !req
266. and-and I'm gonna show you.Copy !req
267. Sh-she can pop, okay?Copy !req
268. She's gonna pop. You'll see.Copy !req
269. Uh-oh.Copy !req
270. - Hang on.
- What's up?Copy !req
271. My mom's trying to call me.Copy !req
272. Hmm. Oh, wait, wait,
wait, you know what?Copy !req
273. Don't pick up. Don't pick up.Copy !req
274. - Oh, no, I never would.
- Okay, good.Copy !req
275. But let's let that play out.Copy !req
276. Camera one.Copy !req
277. Oh, Charlie.Copy !req
278. Charlie, please pick up.Copy !req
279. One, two, three.Copy !req
280. Charlie, where are you?Copy !req
281. One, two, three.Copy !req
282. Oh.Copy !req
283. God, it's me, Bonnie.Copy !req
284. I'm so worried about my Charlie boy.Copy !req
285. Please don't have him
be in a ditch somewhere,Copy !req
286. or squished between two trains,Copy !req
287. and his body mangled,Copy !req
288. so if they move the trains,Copy !req
289. all his guts and bodily fluidsCopy !req
290. and organs spill out.Copy !req
291. Please, God...Copy !req
292. don't have him die.Copy !req
293. Aw.Copy !req
294. I knew it.Copy !req
295. She's a star.Copy !req
296. - Huh.
- Charlie.Copy !req
297. This-this could be huge.Copy !req
298. - Yeah?
- I mean,Copy !req
299. I think this really could be a show,Copy !req
300. with your mom as the star, I mean,Copy !req
301. imagine what that would do for your mom.Copy !req
302. I mean, w-what do you think?Copy !req
303. Oh, shit.Copy !req
304. Well, now I'm thinkingCopy !req
305. about my mom starring
in a show, and I like it.Copy !req
306. Um, now I'm thinking about minotaurs.Copy !req
307. Now I'm thinking about
a hoagie sandwich.Copy !req
308. Now I'm thinking about a glass
of water to go with the chips.Copy !req
309. How-how many of my
thoughts do you need?Copy !req
310. Do you want me to go on and on, or...Copy !req
311. No, that's... We're good.Copy !req
312. Mom, you know that I think
you are the most captivatingCopy !req
313. and beautiful woman in
the world, don't you?Copy !req
314. - No.
- Oh!Copy !req
315. I got something for you.Copy !req
316. Sort of brighten you up a little bit.Copy !req
317. What the hell is that?Copy !req
318. Lipstick.Copy !req
319. "Heartbreaker."Copy !req
320. Just like you.Copy !req
321. I ain't wearing no lipstick.Copy !req
322. Come on, Mom.Copy !req
323. Be-be agreeable,Copy !req
324. which makes you rootable,Copy !req
325. which makes you likeable.Copy !req
326. (bleep) you!Copy !req
327. That's a joke.Copy !req
328. That's a joke, we will
beep that, I think.Copy !req
329. He will beep that, and
that'll be... funny.Copy !req
330. Uh, you know, let me just, uh,Copy !req
331. try and put some of this...Copy !req
332. Buzz off!Copy !req
333. That's good... buzz off.Copy !req
334. You know, that's like, uh, a call back,Copy !req
335. which could become a catchphrase.Copy !req
336. You should probably think of a few moreCopy !req
337. so you're not just too one-note.Copy !req
338. What about, um,Copy !req
339. "I can't even."Copy !req
340. Or, "That went well."Copy !req
341. I'm gonna take a shit.Copy !req
342. That's not a good catchphrase.Copy !req
343. It is healthy, though.Copy !req
344. Oh...Copy !req
345. Cock-a-doodle-doo!Copy !req
346. What are you doing?Copy !req
347. Just the wacky neighbor, swinging byCopy !req
348. with the usual hijinks.Copy !req
349. Aga-aga-aga-agoo.Copy !req
350. I'm sorry.Copy !req
351. Do I hear someone upstairs?Copy !req
352. Oh, neighbor!Copy !req
353. Just swingin' by to say, "Hello."Copy !req
354. Will you look at that?Copy !req
355. I've got my dumb head
stuck in the banister.Copy !req
356. - Dee's a nightmare, dude.
- It's awful.Copy !req
357. You're not gonna try
and put a laugh in, or...Copy !req
358. Uh, nowhere to put it.Copy !req
359. Yeah, you can't tell where the jokesCopy !req
360. - are supposed to be.
- Exactly.Copy !req
361. Whoops. Okay.Copy !req
362. It's actually a little bit stuck... Mac?Copy !req
363. Mac, you want to come pull on me?Copy !req
364. Dee, I-I don't know what you're doing,Copy !req
365. because n-none of this is playing,Copy !req
366. and you're not funny at all and...Copy !req
367. Hey, you know what, Dee?Copy !req
368. From here, what you're doingCopy !req
369. actually is kind of funny.Copy !req
370. I wish we could get Mac out of there.Copy !req
371. - Oh, I know.
- Terrible.Copy !req
372. He's making me sick.Copy !req
373. - Yeah.
- Ugly.Copy !req
374. Mrs. Kelly, can you please help me out?Copy !req
375. Uh, my head is really stuck.Copy !req
376. Um, I don't do well with emergencies,Copy !req
377. and I have to answer the door.Copy !req
378. - Hi, Jack.
- Hi, Bonnie.Copy !req
379. Just stopping by to
pick up that hard driveCopy !req
380. I accidentally left
under the floorboards.Copy !req
381. - Oh, come on in.
- Okay.Copy !req
382. Man, what is Uncle Jack doing there?Copy !req
383. - He's awful.
- Yeah, so creepy.Copy !req
384. He's gonna ruin the show.Copy !req
385. Yeah, that creepy pedophile vibeCopy !req
386. he's got going on is
going to be a tough sell.Copy !req
387. You know, even in Europe.Copy !req
388. Uh, let me try something here.Copy !req
389. Let me take that jacket.Copy !req
390. Ooh!Copy !req
391. Thank you.Copy !req
392. Mm.Copy !req
393. Aw.Copy !req
394. Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
395. That's funny from over here.Copy !req
396. Yeah, yeah, just give
me a good push on...Copy !req
397. W-what are you doing? Hey,
w-w-what are you doing?Copy !req
398. What the hell was that, man?Copy !req
399. Wh-what, that fart?Copy !req
400. I'm just trying some new stuff.Copy !req
401. No, n-n-not
the fart, no.Copy !req
402. - The fart's good.
- Yeah, no, I'm talkingCopy !req
403. about the-the sound
effects under my uncle.Copy !req
404. - What-what...?
- Well, uh...Copy !req
405. I'm trying to make him likeableCopy !req
406. by turning him into the romantic lead.Copy !req
407. Romantic lead?Copy !req
408. They're brother and sister.Copy !req
409. Yeah, the audience doesn't know that.Copy !req
410. Well, you know what? I want to see herCopy !req
411. bang somebody, but not him.Copy !req
412. Yeah. All right.Copy !req
413. What-what if you make him like a,Copy !req
414. like a spy or something, right?Copy !req
415. And he's looking for
his hard drive, right?Copy !req
416. Because spies are always
looking for hard drives.Copy !req
417. Or, or, or how about if you write inCopy !req
418. some scumbag stranger
comes in off the street,Copy !req
419. and goes to town on Bonnie.Copy !req
420. All right, look, I don't
want to over-write this thing.Copy !req
421. And-and all of a sudden you want
to turn it into a spy thriller?Copy !req
422. - Well...
- That's... I don't want to genre jump.Copy !req
423. Let-Let's just see how the
romantic lead thing plays outCopy !req
424. - for a minute here.
- All right.Copy !req
425. - All right.
- All right?Copy !req
426. Oh!Copy !req
427. Ow!Copy !req
428. Yeah?Copy !req
429. What... what do you guys think?Copy !req
430. I mean, um, obviously, the
audio is temp, you know.Copy !req
431. But we could keep my
singing voice if you like it.Copy !req
432. - I like it.
- I like it, and it feels like a real show,Copy !req
433. and I love all the letters
flying around on the screen.Copy !req
434. - Those are interesting.
- Those are names,Copy !req
435. - uh, 'cause it's a credit sequence, which is...
- Okay.Copy !req
436. pretty good, but-but why isn't
my mom in the credit sequence?Copy !req
437. 'Cause I feel like she was popping.Copy !req
438. You're lucky your mom's in
the credit sequence at all.Copy !req
439. Because I'm writing her
off. She's terrible. Let's...Copy !req
440. - Yeah, the word thing you did was good.
- Yeah, it was good, right?Copy !req
441. I mean, we got to get
somebody younger in there,Copy !req
442. - somebody hipper, somebody who's more fun.
- Yeah.Copy !req
443. - You know, preferably somebody of color.
- Okay.Copy !req
444. What are you talking about?
You can't kick my mom out.Copy !req
445. She lives in the goddamn house.Copy !req
446. Well, I'm gonna cut around her, then.Copy !req
447. - Yeah, we're gonna...
- Until the ethnic comes, and thenCopy !req
448. - we're gonna need your mom's room.
- We're gonna get an ethnic.Copy !req
449. - You can't get rid of my mom!
- I'm getting rid of her.Copy !req
450. - I'm going to cut around her.
- Mac,Copy !req
451. - she's out, she's out.
- I'm gonna...Copy !req
452. This is... He thinks she pops.Copy !req
453. - She's terrible.
- Yeah.Copy !req
454. Oh, Mrs. Kelly, Mrs. Kelly.Copy !req
455. - Mrs. Kelly, hold on. Just give me one second.
- Ooh! One, two, three.Copy !req
456. - One, two three.
- What? What?Copy !req
457. - One, two, three.
- Oh, my God, what?Copy !req
458. Hi, Frank.Copy !req
459. What are you doing here?Copy !req
460. I came to see you.Copy !req
461. - Oh!
- Frank, is that you? Hey,Copy !req
462. come help me out, I'm stuck.Copy !req
463. Not now, Deandra.Copy !req
464. Oh, by the way,Copy !req
465. none of the stuff
you're doing is playing.Copy !req
466. Except for the fart stuff.Copy !req
467. What fart stuff?Copy !req
468. See? You should have
farted after you said that.Copy !req
469. Just come help me get out of this thing.Copy !req
470. - Put a fart in, Dennis.
- What?Copy !req
471. Oh, goddamn it, what's
Frank doing over there?Copy !req
472. I... You know what, I think
he's playing the scumbagCopy !req
473. who comes in off the
street to bang your mom.Copy !req
474. Well, I don't want him
banging my mom, dude. Shit.Copy !req
475. Oh! Uh, hi, Frank.Copy !req
476. I didn't know, uh, Bonnie wasCopy !req
477. gonna be having company. I
would have put my hands on.Copy !req
478. How embarrassing.Copy !req
479. Get lost. I'm gonna bang your sister.Copy !req
480. You got it.Copy !req
481. Goddamn it, dude,Copy !req
482. This is gross. I-I don't want this.Copy !req
483. Can we turn this into
something else? I mean...Copy !req
484. Well, maybe... You know what,
maybe we could turn this into,Copy !req
485. like, a love triangle thingCopy !req
486. between Jack, your mom and Frank?Copy !req
487. No, I don't want a
love triangle between...Copy !req
488. - Well...
- I don't want any shape of love between them.Copy !req
489. That's just gross.Copy !req
490. Ooh!Copy !req
491. I'll be in the upstairs atticCopy !req
492. rooting around if anyone needs me.Copy !req
493. - Yeah, I do. I need you.
- Oh, I'll be up there, Dee.Copy !req
494. - U-Uncle Jack...
- Come on, Bonnie. This bonerCopy !req
495. - ain't gonna last forever.
- Okay.Copy !req
496. Yeah. Goddamn it, though,Copy !req
497. - he's really gonna bang her?
- Yeah.Copy !req
498. Did Mac put a camera in my mom's room?Copy !req
499. No, I did.Copy !req
500. Listen, people... it does not matterCopy !req
501. how you people try to ruin this thing.Copy !req
502. I will make it work,
because I'm a genius.Copy !req
503. Now look at the... plant!Copy !req
504. Look at the plant.Copy !req
505. Now look at the globe.
Up. Back to the plant.Copy !req
506. Can't cut around her when she's
in every shot, can you, Dennis?Copy !req
507. - And look at the teddy bear. And the plant.
- Great.Copy !req
508. This disgusting bitch is in every shot?Copy !req
509. I don't want to stand here no more.Copy !req
510. I got to take another dump.Copy !req
511. Oh, look, Mom, no more
shitting, all right?Copy !req
512. Um... and when you go, are you
not having a full elimination?Copy !req
513. I mean, why are you going so much?Copy !req
514. Mom?Copy !req
515. Mom, where are you?Copy !req
516. Don't try and steal focus, Charlie.Copy !req
517. - Charlie, can't breathe.
- What? What?Copy !req
518. Help. Help, Charlie.Copy !req
519. Get off me, you crazy bitch!Copy !req
520. Mom, look, no more shitting!Copy !req
521. - Let's go, we got to go where the action is.
- Oh!Copy !req
522. Mom! Frank!Copy !req
523. Come on, stop banging!Copy !req
524. Charlie. What a pleasant surprise.Copy !req
525. Get off me, man. Get off!Copy !req
526. - Mom stays in the picture.
- Let's go, come on!Copy !req
527. - Charlie! I only got to third!
- Come on, get out of here.Copy !req
528. Go. You can have any woman you
want... it's got to be my mom?Copy !req
529. Hey, come on, what are you doing?Copy !req
530. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, Mom,Copy !req
531. we got to go where
the action is. Come on.Copy !req
532. God... Goddamn it!Copy !req
533. I was sliding into home, Charlie.Copy !req
534. - Get out of here, Frank.
- Aw, come on.Copy !req
535. Son of a bitch. Get lost!Copy !req
536. - Charlie!
- Aw...Copy !req
537. I can't breathe. You
guys, I'm pretty sureCopy !req
538. I'm gonna die in this banister.Copy !req
539. Charlie, what's going on?Copy !req
540. Look, I'm coming clean. We've
been watching you guys, right?Copy !req
541. The presents that we brought
over... they're hidden cameras.Copy !req
542. The teddy bear, the
globe... all that shit.Copy !req
543. I don't know how you
didn't see it. And then weCopy !req
544. turned it into a show.
The show was pretty good.Copy !req
545. We had chips. But look...
this all started 'cause youCopy !req
546. sent me this in the
mail. I got freaked out.Copy !req
547. Well, I sent it to you
because I missed you,Copy !req
548. I wanted to see more of you.Copy !req
549. That's all that is? It's not
because you feel trappedCopy !req
550. in your own home and you
guys are fighting too muchCopy !req
551. or whatever it is?Copy !req
552. No. We get along great.Copy !req
553. Oh, but this makes me
feel so much better.Copy !req
554. Now that I know that you're watching me.Copy !req
555. My mom feels the same way.Copy !req
556. And she also says that she loves meCopy !req
557. - and misses me.
- Well, shoot,Copy !req
558. all right, well, why
don't we bring it on inCopy !req
559. - for a hug, huh?
- Okay!Copy !req
560. This was all just one
big misunderstanding.Copy !req
561. Get off me, dude. Get off.
What are you doing? Get off.Copy !req
562. I got to say it: that's the
best episode yet. That is!Copy !req
563. - It's a classic!
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I love the button at the ending.Copy !req
564. - Yeah?
- Oh, that was the biggest jokeCopy !req
565. - in the show. The biggest moment.
- It was, it was. - Was it?Copy !req
566. - I mean it, really.
- Oh, well, guys, look, I told you...Copy !req
567. - I know my physical comedy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
568. - Right?
- Okay, yeah.Copy !req
569. - Oh! - Oh! -
What are you doing?Copy !req
570. - What's wrong?
- Hey.Copy !req
571. Show's been canceled, guys.Copy !req
572. - What?
- Wha...Copy !req
573. I got a four-episode sex arc.Copy !req
574. Nah, nah. You know,
now-now that everybody knowsCopy !req
575. they're being filmed, it's
more like a reality TV show,Copy !req
576. and I just can't enjoy it when
the people who are being filmedCopy !req
577. - know they're being filmed.
- Yeah, but what aboutCopy !req
578. our show, man? What about
making my mom famous?Copy !req
579. - It's just not funny anymore.
- Oh, oh,Copy !req
580. oh, oh... I know how to make it funny.Copy !req
581. Oh!Copy !req
582. - What?
- Oh, I...Copy !req
583. I just shit my pants.Copy !req
584. - Oh, God!
- Oh! - Oh, God.Copy !req
585. - Oh!
- Oh, God.Copy !req
586. - Oh, Dee.
- That's not funny.Copy !req
587. I just meant to fart. I didn't...Copy !req
588. - I didn't...
- Oh, my God! Without the laugh trackCopy !req
589. - that's, like, really horrible.
- Yeah, you're justCopy !req
590. a grown woman who shit her pants.Copy !req
591. Now it's funny again.Copy !req