Invader ZIM 1x33

Candi Milo as Girl (voice)

When Zim attempts to taint the Earth’s cow-meat supply with sewer water is ruined because of Gir’s antics, he decides to increase the power on Gir’s behavioral modifier, which will permit him to stay in serious mode all the time. However, when the serious Gir starts to consider Zim a threat to the mission and runs off to learn things on his own accord, it’s up to Zim and Squidman to find Gir and turn down the power on his behavioral modifier before too many individuals see them and jeopardize their mission.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND NICKELODEON

2. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—

3. WA... HA HA HA HA HA!

4. HI, COW!

5. GIR, GET IN HERE!

6. BYE, COW.

7. NO PLAYING WITH THE DIRTY COW MONSTERS, GIR.

8. THIS IS SERIOUS WORK WE DO.

9. OOH!

10. WE'LL SWITCH.

11. YOU MAN THE TRACTOR BEAM.

12. I'LL PUMP THE COWS FULL OF HUMAN SEWAGE.

13. COWS ARE MY FRIENDS.

14. I DON'T LIKE YOU.

15. THE CONTROLS, GIR.

16. YOOOO!

17. ONCE I TAINT THE HUMANS' MEAT SUPPLY WITH FILTH,

18. THEY WILL BE RIPE FOR CONQUEST.

19. SOON THE NAME OF INVADER ZIM

20. WILL BE SYNONYMOUS WITH DOOKY!

21. GIR, BRING ME COW.

22. YES, SIR.

23. I LIKE DOOKY.

24. SOMETIMES I'M AFRAID TO FIND OUT

25. WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT INSANE HEAD OF YOURS.

26. MOO!

27. GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

28. WEENIES! WEENIES! DANCING WEENIES!

29. STOP! YOU'LL BLOW OUR INGENIOUS COVER!

30. IT'S TIME WE DID SOMETHING ABOUT

31. YOUR BEHAVIORAL GLITCHES, GIR.

32. BOOP BOOP BEE BOOOP...

33. WAFFLES!

34. I'M GOING TO ATTEMPT TO LOCK YOU INTO DUTY MODE

35. WITH THIS BEHAVIORAL MODULATOR.

36. WHAT? DOOTY.

37. I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER LARGE, ALIEN!

38. GIR! ATTACK!

39. YES, SIR!

40. NO MORE DISTRACTIONS, GIR.

41. ATTACK THE HUMAN!

42. THIS TIME ON A DANGEROUSLY HIGH SETTING.

43. YES, SIR!

44. DOODEE! DOODEE! DOODEE! DOO!

45. ATTACK!

46. YES, SIR!

47. SIR, TARGET IS A HOLOGRAM,

48. AND THEREFORE, NOT A THREAT TO OUR MISSION.

49. AND WHAT IS OUR MISSION, GIR?

50. BLEND IN WITH THE INDIGENOUS LIFE,

51. ANALYZE THEIR WEAKNESSES,

52. PREPARE THE PLANET FOR THE COMING BADNESS. YAY.

53. YES... YES... YES!

54. WITH YOU FULLY FUNCTIONAL AND BY MY SIDE,

55. WE SHALL RULE THIS WORLD SOONER THAN WITHOUT YOU

56. BY MY SIDE...

57. NOT BEING FUNNY—

58. AW, LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.

59. YOU ARE NOW THE EVIL HENCHMAN

60. I SO RIGHTLY DESERVED ALL ALONG, GIR.

61. AN ASSISTANT WORTHY OF ME.

62. I AM ZIM!

63. NOW, WITH YOUR AMAZING NEW PROGRAMMING

64. INVESTIGATE THAT SOUND.

65. SIR, IT IS MERELY A POLICE SIREN.

66. DO AS I SAY!

67. YES, SIR!

68. OPENING DOOR! RUNNING! RUNNING!

69. GIR! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

70. THIS ISN'T INFORMATION RETRIEVAL!

71. ARE YOU INSANE?

72. I HAVE CAPTURED THE ENEMY FOR MEAT TESTING.

73. PRAISE ME! PRAISE ME!

74. AH! OW, MY BONE'S JAMMED UP INTO MY NECK.

75. OH. HUH?

76. ALIENS?

77. GREAT. NOW I HAVE TO WIPE HIS BRAIN

78. TO MAKE HIM FORGET ALL HE'S SEEN.

79. THIS MEMORY TRANSPLANT WILL TAKE HOURS.

80. I PLAN TO SPEND THIS AFTERNOON

81. EXPERIMENTING ON THE HAPPINESS CENTERS

82. OF THAT EARTH CHILD'S BRAIN.

83. I'M SO HAPPY. ALL THE TIME! IT'S GREAT!

84. HAH!

85. PLEASE, I HAVE A HOUSE AND CHILDREN AND PETS

86. AND A TOILET—TOILET... CHILDREN.

87. MAKE SILENCE NOW, HUMAN.

88. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,

89. YOU MUST KNOW THE S.I.R. UNIT CODE

90. ENABLES FREE WILL IN THE EVENT

91. THE THE MISSION IS THREATENED.

92. THIS POLICE HUMAN WAS A THREAT.

93. YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW?

94. DID YOU KNOW THAT?

95. OF COURSE, I...

96. YOUR LEGS ARE STUPID!

97. GO UPSTAIRS AND... UM... MONITOR EARTH BROADCASTS

98. UNTIL I THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER FOR YOU TO DO.

99. THAT'S A GOOD, GIR.

100. GIR.

101. RIGHT AWAY...

102. S-SIR.

103. OBSERVING. OBSERVING. OBSERVING.

104. DO YOU SUFFER FROM INTESTINAL ITCHING?

105. I DO.

106. TELEVISION IS STUPID.

107. THE MASTER IS NOT UTILIZING ME PROPERLY.

108. I MUST SHOW MY "MASTER" HOW INFORMATION COLLECTING IS DONE.

109. AN INFORMATION CENTER.

110. EXCELLENT.

111. RETINAL SCAN.

112. REJECTED!

113. I'M SORRY. YOU HAVE TWO DISCS OVERDUE.

114. WE'LL HAVE TO CONFISCATE YOUR RETINAS.

115. I REQUIRE ACCESS TO ALL HUMAN KNOWLEDGE!

116. HMM. HMM...

117. THAT WOULD BE UNDER REFERENCE.

118. NOT ACCEPTABLE, LIBRARY DRONE!

119. MY TENTACLES! WHERE ARE MY TENTACLES?

120. DON'T WORRY, OFFICER.

121. YOU ARE IN A FILTHY EARTH BRAIN HOSPITAL.

122. YOUR FEELINGS ARE NORMAL.

123. THERE'S A SQUID BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD.

124. CALLING UNIT 12, UNIT 12.

125. UH!

126. AAAHH!

127. SOMETHING'S WRONG. MY INK.

128. WHY CAN'T I SHOOT INK ANYMORE?

129. WHAT KIND OF SQUID CAN'T SHOOT INK?

130. GAHHHH! SQUID!

131. SITUATION AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY.

132. FLYING METAL CHILD DRAINING THE BRAINS OF CITIZENS.

133. RESPOND IMMEDIATELY.

134. OH, IT'S GIR.

135. I'VE GOTTA STOP HIM BEFORE HE RUINS EVERYTHING.

136. THAT HORRIBLE ROBOT!

137. PLEASE! JUST TAKE ME BACK TO THE SEA!

138. AHH!

139. RELAX, HUMANS! THE POLICE ARE...

140. EW!

141. THE KNOWLEDGE.

142. IT FILLS ME.

143. IT IS NEAT.

144. GIR! YOU'VE DRAINED ENOUGH HUMANS TODAY.

145. DATA CANISTER IS NOT YET FULL.

146. I COMMAND YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE

147. BEFORE WE'RE NOTICED...

148. SOME MORE.

149. HEY! QUIT IT!

150. YOU ARE NO COMMANDER.

151. YOU ARE A THREAT TO THE MISSION.

152. YOUR METHODS ARE STUPID.

153. YOUR PROGRESS HAS BEEN STUPID.

154. YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS STUPID.

155. FOR THE SAKE OF THE MISSION,

156. YOU MUST BE TERMINATED.

157. YOU DARE SPEAK TO YOUR MASTER IN SUCH—

158. SQUID MAN! ASSIST ME!

159. ARG! INK... NOT WORKING!

160. ALL THAT COMES OUT IS...

161. YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT COMES OUT.

162. GIR, LISTEN TO ME.

163. WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.

164. YOU'RE MALFUNCTIONING!

165. STUPIDITY IS THE ENEMY. ZIM IS ENEMY.

166. AAAHHH!

167. WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME ON LAND!

168. AAHH!

169. GIR! GIR, IS THAT YOU?

170. AAAHHH!

171. TARGET FOUND.

172. ELIMINATING MORON.

173. CURSE YOU SNACKS!

174. CURSE YOOOOOU!

175. FOR THE GOOD OF THE MISSION.

176. GIR, YOU WERE MY SERVANT ONCE, REMEMBER?

177. YES. I DIDN'T LIKE IT.

178. HEY! OVER HERE!

179. VISION IMPAIRED! CAN'T SEE!

180. MY INK! I DID IT!

181. HI, FLOOR! MAKE ME A SAMMICH!

182. THAT'S BETTER! I GUESS.

183. SAMMICH! HEE HEE HEE!

184. I WANT TO THANK YOU.

185. THAT WAS QUITE AN ADVENTURE...

186. THE CAR WRECK, THE LIBRARY FIGHT,

187. AND THEN THE GALACTIC SPACE BATTLE THAT HAPPENED

188. ON THE WAY TO THIS BEACH.

189. YES, YES, VERY NICE.

190. NOW INTO THE OCEAN WITH YOU WHERE YOU CAN TELL

191. NO ONE OF THESE THINGS.

192. I'M COMING HOME!

193. G'BYE! G'BYE...

194. HE'S GETTIN' EATEN BY A SHARK.

195. BLAAAH! BLAAAH! AAAHH!

196. DELICIOUS. DELICIOUS. I'M NORMAL!

197. HOW AM I STILL THE ONLY PERSON TO SEE ZIM'S AN ALIEN?

198. I MEAN, COME ON!

199. COME ON!

200. COME ON!

201. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A HEAD?

202. GAZ, I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS.

203. TODAY, THINGS'RE GONNA CHANGE.

204. I'M GONNA DO... SOMETHING.

205. I'M NOT JUST GONNA SIT BACK

206. AND WATCH ZIM GET AWAY WITH HIS...

207. HIS THINGS HE DO... I MEAN...

208. "THINGS HE DO?"

209. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

210. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

211. I'M JUST... I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

212. SOMETHING... NEW! AND SOON!

213. NOW!

214. WHAT? WHO?

215. THAT... THAT WAS HORRIBLE.

216. WHO DID THIS?

217. WHO DARES TO SOIL MY NORMAL BOY-HEAD WITH THIS...

218. PORK COW?

219. THAT'S A STINKIN' MUFFIN!

220. SILENCE!

221. WHATEVER THIS IS, I WILL FIND THE BEAST WHO THREW IT...

222. I WILL FIND YOU!

223. SLEEP PEACEFULLY NOW,

224. FOR IT IS THE LAST PEACEFUL SLEEP YOU WILL KNOW

225. FROM THIS MOMENT ON!

226. BUT WE'RE NOT ASLEEP RIGHT NOW!

227. AAAHHHHH!

228. WOW.

229. ACTUALLY, THAT WAS KIND OF FUNNY.

230. THANK YOU, MR. PRESIDENT.

231. AH!

232. WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

233. WHO—WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU?

234. AND WHY DID YOU TRANSFORM INTO GIANT SHOES?

235. WE ARE BEINGS OF PURE ENERGY.

236. THIS IS MERELY A FORM YOUR HUMAN BRAIN CAN UNDERSTAND.

237. BUT... YOU JUST LOOKED LIKE ALIENS BEFORE YOU TURNED INTO SHOES.

238. MMMM.

239. YES, BUT YOU COULDN'T COMPREHEND THAT.

240. YES, I COULD.

241. OH, FORGET THAT ALREADY.

242. NOW, DIB... DIB...

243. WHATEVER YOUR LAST NAME IS...

244. THAT'S RIGHT.

245. WE ARE THE MEEKROB,

246. AND WE HAVE

247. THE IRKEN EMPIRE.

248. WE ARE BUSY FIGHTING THEM ON OUR OWN PLANET,

249. BUT HAVE COME TO OFFER YOU A GIFT

250. THAT CAN AID IN YOUR BATTLE WITH THEM.

251. AAH! AARRGGH!

252. OW! IT HURTS!

253. HA HA! YES.

254. YOU NOW HAVE THE POWER TO DEFEND THE EARTH LIKE NEVER BEFORE.

255. WHY?

256. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME?

257. YOU ARE THE WORTHIEST, DIB.

258. AND NO ONE ELSE HAD A HEAD LARGE ENOUGH

259. TO ACCOMMODATE SO MUCH POWER. NOW, REST.

260. AH.

261. HAH.

262. A DREAM? WAS IT A DREAM?

263. I FEEL...

264. ODD.

265. WHAT AN AMAZING MORNING, ISN'T IT?

266. NO, REALLY. SOMETHING'S DIFFERENT.

267. IT WASN'T A DREAM.

268. I REALLY WAS CHOSEN.

269. SON, YOU'RE LOOKING IN GOOD SPIRITS TODAY.

270. YOU MUST HAVE FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT

271. ABOUT STUDYING REAL SCIENCE!

272. NO, DAD. THESE ALIEN SHOES CAME INTO MY ROOM

273. AND GAVE ME SOME KIND OF GIFT.

274. I KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS, BUT IT'S TRUE.

275. THOSE ALIENS WERE DEMENTED HALLUCINATIONS,

276. BUT YOUR DNA DOES SEEM TO HAVE EVOLVED

277. BEYOND THAT OF NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS.

278. HMM.

279. I GUESS I'M SORRY ABOUT

280. BEING SO MEAN TO YOU ALL THOSE TIMES, THEN.

281. THIS IS...

282. THIS IS JUST INCREDIBLE. I SHOULD...

283. I SHOULD SEE IF THIS WHATEVER IT IS

284. REALLY WILL HELP ME DEAL WITH ZIM.

285. I'M GONNA HEAD OVER TO HIS BASE!

286. HEY, I'M SPEAKING OUT LOUD TO MYSELF

287. IN AN UNNATURAL MANNER. OH, WELL.

288. I AM DIB!

289. OH, MAN! THAT WAS GREAT!

290. TIME FOR SOME SERIOUS NOTES.

291. NO! I'M SICK OF WAITING AND WATCHING.

292. I SHOULD TAKE ACTION!

293. I'M TALKING OUT LOUD SOME MORE. ODD.

294. I'M GOING FOR IT!

295. D-D-D-D-DIB!

296. HUH?

297. I'VE GOT A FEW THINGS TO TELL YOU, ZIM.

298. AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

299. EH... OK.

300. I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT, DIB.

301. YOU'VE WON. I'M GIVING MYSELF UP

302. TO THE EARTH AUTHORITIES.

303. IT'S BEEN NICE WORKING WITH YOU, GIR.

304. NOW, SELF-DESTRUCT.

305. FINALLY! HEE HEE HEE HEE!

306. THIS FEELING, THE POWER!

307. IT ISN'T GOING AWAY!

308. THINGS REALLY ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT FOR ME!

309. AT LAST! YAH!

310. Reporter on TV: YOU'VE OPENED THE WORLD'S EYES

311. TO THE EXISTENCE OF ALIENS, DIB!

312. NOW WHAT?

313. THERE ARE MANY OTHER MYSTERIES STILL UNSOLVED.

314. I FIGURE... YOU KNOW...

315. I'LL DO SOME OF THAT.

316. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... GHOSTS!

317. OOOH!

318. HEY. HOW'RE YOU DOING?

319. HI.

320. DIB ROCKS!

321. I LOVE YOU, DIB!

322. AND TO PROVE THAT THE LAKE SPOOKY MONSTER IS REAL,

323. THIS TASK FORCE HAS GRANTED ME PERMISSION

324. TO DRAIN THE LAKE.

325. YAH!

326. WHAT'S LEFT TO BE DISCOVERED NOW, DIB?

327. DIB!

328. IT'S BEEN YEARS, ZIM.

329. 20 OF YOUR YEARS TO BE PRECISE,

330. ENDURING THESE INDIGNITIES!

331. THE ONLY REASON I HAVE NOT TRIED TO ESCAPE

332. IS BECAUSE IT AMUSES ME.

333. AMUSES YOU TO WHAT?

334. AH, YES! THE INVASION!

335. I DIDN'T ASK YOU ABOUT THE INVASION.

336. OH.

337. WELL, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO.

338. EH... WELL, THEY'LL BE HERE!

339. THE ARMADA WILL COME

340. AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

341. WE'LL SEE, ZIM, WE'LL SEE.

342. TO BETTER STUDY THE COMING ALIEN MENACE...

343. I AM PROUD TO OPEN THE DIB INSTITUTE OF PARANORMAL STUDIES-

344. SLASH-SCHOOL OF PARANORMAL TOLERANCE-

345. SLASH-MUSEUM- SLASH-SNACK BAR.

346. YAH!

347. SIR!

348. THEY'RE COMING!

349. THE MASSIVE, THE ARMADA CAPITAL SHIP!

350. THE SIDE PODS ARE FILLED WITH SNACKS!

351. IT'S THEIR WEAK SPOT.

352. ALPHA...

353. YOU'LL BE BRINGING DOWN THE MASSIVE!

354. BUT, DIB... SIR...

355. WHO'LL LEAD ALPHA SQUADRON?

356. HEE-YAH.

357. YAH!

358. HOOOOO-WAAAAH!

359. OUR SNACKS!

360. IT'S OVER!

361. RETREAT!

362. YAY!

363. AND THAT'S HOW I WAS AWARDED

364. THE GREATEST PERSON EVER TO LIVE AWARD.

365. YOU'VE LIVED QUITE A FULL LIFE, HAVEN'T YOU, SIR DIB?

366. YES, ALAN.

367. IT WAS EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR.

368. AND MORE.

369. AND I EVEN GOT TO RIDE A MOOSE.

370. AW!

371. AND WHO COULD FORGET THAT DAY?

372. YES, WELL, WE THANK YOU

373. FOR SHARING YOUR INCREDIBLE LIFE WITH US,

374. AND FOR ALLOWING THE HUMAN RACE TO SURVIVE.

375. OH, YES. YOU'RE WELCOME.

376. AND, UH...

377. OH, IF I MAY SAY,

378. THERE'S ONE FINAL QUESTION THAT WOULD

379. SETTLE THE CURIOSITY OF YOUR MANY FANS.

380. DID YOU THROW THE MUFFIN AT ZIM'S HEAD?

381. HEH HEH HEH.

382. WOW, THAT'S GOING BACK A LONG WAYS.

383. AS A MATTER OF FACT...

384. I DID.

385. AHA!

386. I KNEW IT!

387. I KNEW IT WAS YOU!

388. WHAT? THERE AREN'T SHOE ALIENS?

389. GET OUT.

390. OH... JUST ONE MORE THING.

391. YOU STINK, ZIM.