Invader ZIM 1x23

Directed by Steve Ressel

When Mysterious Mysteries is having trouble in ratings due to their lack of stories, they decide to take drastic measures and they finally let Dib onto the show. Dib believes this is his best chance to reveal Zim for what he is and he plays a short clip of Zim and Dib in the woods, which actually makes the anchor of the series quite pleased. However, when Zim gets on the show the next day to attempt to prove Dib wrong, they soon get into a battle of words over the real events that occurred on that day as they both attempt to persuade the host of Mysterious Mysteries to believe what they have said.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND NICKELODEON

2. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—

3. WA... HA HA HA HA HA!

4. AND LIKE THE ALIEN SAID,

5. GO TO THE BLOTCH. THE BLOTCH KNOWS.

6. SO, I, LIKE, LOVE MY HUSBAND

7. AND CAME OUT HERE TO COMMUNE WITH THE BLOTCH.

8. All chanting: THE BLOTCH KNOWS.

9. THE BLOTCH KNOWS.

10. WHAT EXACTLY DOES THE BLOTCH KNOW?

11. UM... THE FUTURE?

12. I DON'T KNOW—

13. IT'S REALLY HARD TO MAKE OUT, YOU KNOW.

14. HE DOES THAT SOMETIMES.

15. HEY, GOT BAD NEWS. YOU'RE FIRED!

16. HA HA HA HA!

17. GOTCHA. HA HA.

18. NO, YOU'RE NOT FIRED.

19. BUT YOU WILL BE, UNLESS YOU LIVEN UP THE SHOW.

20. SUBMISSIONS FOR NEXT WEEK'S SHOW.

21. THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING GOOD HERE.

22. AN UNUSUALLY FAT BABY. NO.

23. ANGRY MUTANT BEEF JERKY. NO!

24. OH, IT'S HOPELESS!

25. WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS THAT STUFF THAT CRAZY DIB KID KEEPS SENDING IN.

26. NO. NO! NOT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED THAT LAST TIME.

27. PIGFOOT!

28. OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

29. IT'S GOT TO BE BETTER THAN PIGFOOT.

30. GET THE VAN. I THINK WE'VE GOT SOMETHING.

31. NOW, HARDER HITTING, FASTER PACED,

32. AND EVEN MORE MYSTERIOUS.

33. ARE WE ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE?

34. TONIGHT, WE'LL SHOW YOU SOME INTRIGUING VIDEO

35. THAT MAY JUST ANSWER THAT VEXING QUESTION.

36. YOU'RE MY WITNESS!

37. HE IS AN ALIEN.

38. I HAVE HIM ON TAPE. I HAVE YOU ON TAPE WITNESSING IT.

39. THANKS TO A HORRIBLY LARGE-HEADED BOY NAMED DIB,

40. WE HAVE A NEW PIECE IN THE PUZZLE THAT IS

41. THE SEARCH FOR ALIEN LIFE.

42. I SET OUT TO INVESTIGATE.

43. KIDS PLAY WITHOUT FEAR

44. IN THE STREETS OF THIS HUMBLE HAMLET.

45. IN FACT, IT'S THE KIND OF PLACE

46. WHERE YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO LOCK THE DOOR.

47. WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

48. OH, WOW!

49. YOU'RE HERE!

50. I KNEW ONE DAY YOU'D COME.

51. I KNEW IT.

52. YOUNG DIB HAS BEEN CHRONICLING THE PARANORMAL

53. NEARLY ALL OF HIS BRIEF LIFE.

54. SO WHEN A GREEN KID CLAIMING TO BE A HUMAN BOY WITH A SKIN CONDITION

55. ENTERED HIS CLASSROOM,

56. HE SAYS HE WAS PREPARED.

57. LOOK, HE'S SO... GREEN.

58. HELP US CLEAR UP WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.

59. I WAS MONITORING SOME OF THE HIGHER FREQUENCY RADIO WAVES

60. WHEN I PICKED UP ON AN ALIEN DISTRESS SIGNAL.

61. SO I WENT OUT WITH GAZ... SHE'S KIND OF MY SIDEKICK.

62. Actor Dib with lower voice: WE ARE CLOSE NOW.

63. I FEEL IT IN MY BRAIN.

64. Actress Gaz: OOH, GOLLY!

65. WHAT IS THAT?

66. STAY BACK, GAZ.

67. LOOK, GAZ, YOU ARE MY WITNESS.

68. HE IS AN ALIEN!

69. I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.

70. I HAVE YOU ON TAPE WITNESSING IT.

71. EEEEE! OOOOHHHH! AAAHHH!

72. HE TRIED TO WRESTLE THE VIDEO AWAY FROM ME,

73. BUT I WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM.

74. DIB, THE GLOW!

75. ALIENS. THAT'S QUITE A CLAIM.

76. ARE YOU PREPARED TO DEFEND IT?

77. I THINK MY VIDEO SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

78. THIS... YOUNG MAN DENIES YOUR ACCUSATION.

79. WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

80. HE'S THE ALIEN!

81. I CAME TO PUT A STOP TO ALL YOUR ALIEN TALK.

82. WHEN WILL THE LIES END?

83. WELL, ZIM, I GUESS MY FIRST QUESTION IS...

84. ARE YOU AN ALIEN?

85. LIES! THE FILTHY EARTHBOY LIES!

86. I MEAN... NO.

87. WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE VIDEO?

88. I WAS OUT PLAYING, LIKE ANY NORMAL EARTH LARVAE,

89. WHEN HE CAME LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.

90. HEY, NEW KID, GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONIES.

91. BUT I NEED THESE MONIES TO BUY NUTRIENTS.

92. GIMME THE MONIES OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE

93. YOU'RE AN ALIEN.

94. LEAVE ME ALONE. I JUST WANT TO PLAY.

95. FINE.

96. LOOK, GAZ, YOU ARE MY WITNESS.

97. HE IS AN ALIEN.

98. I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.

99. I HAVE YOU ON TAPE WITNESSING IT.

100. BOO HOO HOO HOO.

101. THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

102. HE LIES!

103. CALM DOWN, YOU TWO.

104. YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS!

105. SILENCE, YOU TINY BRAIN...

106. HEAD!

107. WHAT ABOUT THAT GLOWING THING?

108. LOOK AT IT. THAT'S NO HUMAN GLOW.

109. WE ASKED AN EXPERT.

110. POSSIBLY A WEATHER BALLOON.

111. OR SWAMP GAS.

112. SWAMP GAS?

113. HE'S CRAZY.

114. ASK ANYONE IN OUR CLASS.

115. DIB? YEAH...

116. HE'S PRETTY CRAZY.

117. HE TOLD ME MY DADDY WAS A YETI.

118. MY DADDY'S NOT A YETI!

119. HE'S NOT A YETI! WA HA!

120. WHAT'S UP WITH HIS HEAD?

121. WELL, DIB, I GUESS THE QUESTION FOR YOU IS...

122. ARE YOU CRAZY?

123. OF COURSE THEY SAY I'M CRAZY.

124. THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY ABOUT VISIONARIES.

125. WHAT'S HE DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING,

126. CALLING YOUR SPACE FRIENDS?

127. NONSENSE. IT'S MY MEDICATION.

128. COME ON, BOYS. THIS IS NATIONAL TV.

129. SOME PEOPLE'S JOBS ARE ON THE LINE.

130. THIS IS INSANE.

131. YOU'VE GOT TO TALK TO MY SISTER.

132. SHE SAW THE WHOLE THING.

133. ZIM, TORMENTED CHILD WITH A SKIN CONDITION

134. OR SCALY DEMON FROM THE STARS?

135. DIB, MISUNDERSTOOD VISIONARY

136. OR RAVING LUNATIC?

137. PERHAPS ONLY THIS LITTLE GIRL KNOWS.

138. EXCUSE ME.

139. GO AWAY!

140. I WANTED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

141. MAYBE YOU CAN SET US STRAIGHT

142. ON THE WHOLE CRAZINESS ISSUE.

143. UGHH! UGHH!

144. GAZ, AFTER WHAT YOU SAW,

145. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR BROTHER GOT PROOF

146. OF INTELLIGENT EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE?

147. INTELLIGENT—NO.

148. MY STUPID BROTHER DID DRAG ME OUT

149. TO LOOK FOR STUPID ZIM.

150. HE DIDN'T MAKE THAT PART UP.

151. DUH...!

152. DUH...!

153. DUH... SHINY.

154. HA HA HA HA.

155. DUH?

156. AHEM. LOOK, GAZ, YOU'RE MY WITNESS.

157. HE IS AN ALIEN.

158. I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.

159. I HAVE YOU ON TAPE WITNESSING IT.

160. DUH...?

161. HUH? OH.

162. IT LOOKS LIKE WE'LL NEVER KNOW

163. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.

164. I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR WATCHING

165. WHAT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY BE THE FINAL EPISODE

166. OF MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES.

167. UH, IT SEEMS WE HAVE A SURPRISE WITNESS

168. WHO WAS THERE AND CLAIMS TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

169. BUT HE WORKS FOR THE ALIEN!

170. RESTRAIN HIM!

171. NOW, WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT DIB?

172. DIB'S ALL MEAN TO MY MASTER.

173. HE NOT NICE TO ZIM.

174. I SEEN IT.

175. DIB IS BAD. HEE!

176. AND ABOUT THE NIGHT IN QUESTION?

177. I WAS A CHUBBY LADY HIDING IN THE BUSHES.

178. UH-HUH. AND WHAT ABOUT DIB?

179. I'M ON TV!

180. YES. THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

181. THAT'S WHEN THE GIANT SQUIRREL SHOWED UP.

182. GIR!

183. LET HER TALK. CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S UPSET?

184. NOW, DON'T YOU MEAN DIB SHOWED UP?

185. NO. THE SQUIRREL SHOWED UP FIRST,

186. THEN DIB SHOWED UP.

187. AH! OH, MAN!

188. WHAT IS THAT THING?

189. AND THEN THE SQUIRREL ATE DIB'S GREASY HEAD.

190. AHHH!

191. AND THEN THE SQUIRREL FLEW AWAY!

192. AFTER THAT, HE WENT BACK TO HIS HOME PLANET

193. TO FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD GUYS.

194. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

195. ME AND THE SQUIRREL ARE FRIENDS.

196. I'M SO FIRED.

197. WELL, THE ONLY CONCLUSION I CAN COME TO

198. IS THAT DIB IS CRAZY!

199. THIS ONE HERE, DEFINITELY CRAZY.

200. I FEEL BAD FOR THE UGLY GREEN KID,

201. BUT THERE'S A DECENT CHANCE HE'S CRAZY, TOO.

202. BUT NOT AN ALIEN?

203. NOPE.

204. JUST CRAZY. OKAY.

205. YEEE!

206. NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE.

207. MAYBE I'M CRAZY!

208. WHOOOO! AHA!

209. CRAZY!

210. CRAZY!

211. WE'RE SO CANCELED.

212. I THINK THIS IS THE BEST WORK YOU'VE DONE!

213. CRAZY GETS GOOD RATINGS!

214. GIMME MORE LIKE IT!

215. Membrane announcer: THE WHOLE IGNORANT WORLD WATCHES

216. AS PROFESSOR MEMBRANE PREPARES TO MAKE

217. THE GREATEST ANNOUNCEMENT HE'S MADE

218. SINCE LAST WEEK.

219. MAN, DAD'S FINALLY DONE WITH

220. WHATEVER HE'S BEEN WORKING ON FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

221. MAYBE WE'LL FINALLY GET TO SEE HIM IN PERSON.

222. NOW, NOW, SON, BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND DON'T STEAL.

223. DAUGHTER, FEED THE PUPPY.

224. OH, YEAH. WE USED TO HAVE A PUPPY, DIDN'T WE?

225. Membrane announcer: AND NOW, THE MAN WITHOUT WHOM

226. THIS WORLD FALLS INTO CHAOS

227. AND THE INVENTOR OF SUPER TOAST...

228. PROFESSOR MEMBRANE!

229. THAT'S MY DAD!

230. PSH. SO? [CRUNCH!]

231. THANK YOU, MANKIND.

232. AS WE ALL KNOW,

233. EVERY SOURCE OF ENERGY REQUIRES FUEL.

234. PSH. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

235. SO I GOT TO THINKING,

236. WHY HAS NO ONE INVENTED A POWER SOURCE

237. THAT NEEDS NO FUEL? WHHHHY?

238. SO I MADE THE PERPETUAL ENERGY GENERATOR,

239. OR, AS I CALL HER, "PEG".

240. TONIGHT, I ACTIVATE IT.

241. IF IT WORKS, WE NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT POWER AGAIN!

242. IF IT DOESN'T,

243. IT'LL SEND OUT A WAVE OF DOOM

244. THAT WILL DESTROY ALL LIFE ON EARTH!

245. WAVE OF DOOM?

246. ANY QUESTIONS?

247. YEAH. WHAT WAS THAT LAST THING YOU SAID?

248. OH, THERE'S ONLY A MINIMAL CHANCE

249. OF ANYTHING GOING WRONG WITH THE GENERATOR,

250. ESPECIALLY WITH THE STEPPED UP SECURITY

251. WE'VE INSTALLED AROUND THE PREMISES.

252. HEE HEE HEE HEE.

253. AH HA HA HA HA HA!

254. HA... HA... HA... HA...!

255. AHEM. I LOVE EARTH!

256. LOOK, GAZ, ZIM'S DEFINITELY UP TO...

257. EXCUSE ME, KIDS?

258. I'M WITH THE MEMBRANE ORGANIZATION.

259. THE PROFESSOR HAS ASKED THAT HIS ROOMMATES

260. ATTEND TONIGHT'S UNVEILING OF THE "PEG" GENERATOR.

261. YOU MEAN US?

262. YOU LIVE WITH THE PROFESSOR, RIGHT?

263. BE READY AT 7:00.

264. HMM? MM.

265. WOW! WE'RE GONNA BE ON TV WITH DAD!

266. MY DAD CAN FIT A POTATO IN HIS MOUTH.

267. HELLO?

268. OOOHHH.

269. WHA—? YOU LOOK LIKE ME.

270. I AM YOU.

271. LISTEN TO ME...

272. I KNOW HOW— WHAT'S GOING ON?

273. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

274. ZIM... HE... HE BROKE INTO DAD'S COMPOUND...

275. HE GOT TO THE GENERATOR.

276. THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

277. LISTEN! ZIM SABOTAGED THE GENERATOR.

278. AH HA HA HA HA HA!

279. Dib 2: I TRIED TO STOP HIM, BUT HIS INCREDIBLE POWER WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME.

280. AND HE UNDID THE SECURITY SYSTEM.

281. THE "PEG" SENT OUT A HORRIBLE WAVE OF ENERGY

282. JUST LIKE MEMBRANE SAID IT WOULD.

283. BUT THE ENERGY OPENED UP A SPACIAL TIME RIFT

284. AND I FOUND MYSELF IN SOME KIND OF

285. CRAZY SPINNING TIME THINGY.

286. WHOO!

287. IT SURE WAS CRAZY.

288. THE RIFT DROPPED ME HERE, IN THE PAST,

289. GIVING ME A SECOND CHANCE.

290. BUT I'M SO WEAK FROM THE FIGHT.

291. IT'S UP TO YOU.

292. WOW! I'M BORING!

293. DO I ALWAYS EXPLAIN EVERYTHING LIKE THIS?

294. HERE, TAKE THIS WATCH.

295. WE CAN USE IT TO COMMUNICATE REMOTELY.

296. ONCE I DEFEAT ZIM, YOU CAN STAY HERE WITH ME.

297. WE'LL BE AN UNSTOPPABLE TEAM!

298. YES, YES.

299. IT WILL BE MAGICAL.

300. BUT YOU MUST GO!

301. ZIM'S AT THE WAREHOUSE BY DAD'S COMPOUND.

302. THERE'S A BROKEN WINDOW ABOVE A STACK OF CRATES.

303. HA HA HA HA HA!

304. HE'S GONNA DRILL INTO DAD'S COMPOUND FROM BELOW.

305. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SABOTAGE THAT DRILL.

306. AH HA HA HA HA!

307. GULLIBLE STINK-CREATURE.

308. I KNEW I COULD TRICK YOU WITH MY DIB-ROBOT SPY.

309. AGH. YOU'RE GONNA USE IT TO WALK RIGHT PAST SECURITY

310. AT THE GENERATOR, AREN'T YOU?

311. AH. WHAT?

312. OH. OH, YES!

313. YES, I AM! HA HA HA HA!

314. BUT IF YOU USE THE ROBOT TO BLOW UP THE GENERATOR,

315. YOU'LL BE DESTROYED, TOO.

316. YOUR EXPLANATIONS BORE ME.

317. ALSO, I'M SAFELY CONTROLLING ROBOT DIB FROM EARTH'S ORBIT.

318. WHEN "PEG" EXPLODES, I'LL BE THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY.

319. GOOD-BYE, DIB.

320. COME ON, DIB. IT'S TIME TO GO.

321. Dib 2: OK, GAZ, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

322. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WEIRD TONIGHT, DIB.

323. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL SUFFER HORRIBLY.

324. NO, GAZ! THAT'S NOT ME! IT'S A-

325. I WOULD NEVER—

326. HORRIBLE SUFFERING.

327. OF COURSE, MY SCARY SISTER.

328. I OBEY.

329. OF COURSE, MY SCARY SISTER. I OBEY.

330. NO! I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!

331. MAN, AM I DOING SOMETHING.

332. HACKING PROBE ENABLED.

333. I ONLY HOPE THE IRKENS JUST HAPPEN TO USE

334. THE SAME OPERATING SYSTEM AS ME.

335. YES!

336. AREN'T YOU EXCITED, LITTLE BOY?

337. OF COURSE.

338. BUT NOT SO MUCH AS TO PROVOKE MY TERRIFYING SIBLING.

339. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

340. YOU'VE BEEN ACTING WEIRD ALL DAY.

341. EVEN WEIRDER THAN USUAL.

342. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

343. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALK...

344. LOOK, ALIENS! AND OVER THERE... BIGFEETS!

345. THAT'S MORE LIKE IT... I GUESS.

346. I'M GLAD YOU TWO HAVE ARRIVED.

347. THE CEREMONY— WAIT!

348. WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?

349. HE WENT RUNNING AFTER BIGFOOT.

350. I NEED YOU TO FIND HIM, GAZ.

351. AND... MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING EMBARRASSING.

352. GAH! HE MADE IT PASSED SECURITY!

353. NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GET CONTROL OF THIS THING.

354. NOT LIKELY, DIB!

355. MY LOCKOUT PROGRAMS WILL PREVENT YOU FROM—

356. I'M ALREADY BREAKING THROUGH THE VOCAL CIRCUITS, DIB.

357. SOON, I'LL CONTROL THE WHOLE ROBOT.

358. WHY AREN'T THE LOCKOUT PROGRAMS WORKING?

359. GIR! GIR! UNLEASH THE MONKEY!

360. MONKEY!

361. Dib's computer: ACCESS VOCAL CIRCUIT?

362. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

363. Membrane announcer: NOW, HERE HE IS... PROFESSOR MEMBRANE!

364. BEFORE WE GET STARTED,

365. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU ALL TO MY KIDS, WHO...

366. OH. WELL, WE'LL START "PEG'S" WARM UP PROCEDURE

367. WHILE WE WAIT FOR THEM.

368. I DON'T FEEL VERY WELL.

369. I THINK I'LL JUST WATCH EVERYTHING FROM DOWN HERE.

370. FINE, DIB.

371. I GUESS THERE'S LESS CHANCE YOU'LL DO ANYTHING CRAZY

372. IF YOU'RE NOT UP THERE WITH US.

373. Dib's computer: OVERRIDE VOCAL CIRCUIT?

374. NO! GAZ! COME BACK!

375. IT'S A TRAP!

376. AAHHH!

377. AAAHHH!

378. HELP! NO! THE MONKEY!

379. AH!

380. OKAY. I WARNED YOU.

381. AAHHH!

382. AH AAAHH!

383. YOU'RE JUST ASKING FOR IT, DIB.

384. AH! AH! AH!

385. NOOOO!

386. IT'S IN MY BRAIN!

387. AAAHH!

388. HEY, WHERE'S MY FREE POWER, HUH?

389. DOES THAT THING EVEN WORK? HUH? HUH?

390. AW! DOH! BOO!

391. HELP ME, GAZ! AHHH!

392. GOOD WORK, GAZ.

393. WHAT YOU'VE BEEN FIGHTING IS ACTUALLY A ROBOT

394. CONTROLLED BY ZIM.

395. NOW YOU'VE GOT TO RESCUE ME.

396. I'M AT THE WAREHOUSE. IT'S 25—

397. AAHHH!

398. VERY FUNNY!

399. OKAY, IF YOU PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO TAKE PERPETUAL ENERGY SERIOUSLY,

400. THEN FINE! NO POWER FOR YOU!

401. AW!

402. AW, YOUR LITTLE ROBOT BOY'S BROKEN.

403. NOOOO!

404. WELL, LET'S GO LOOK AT THE MONKEY.

405. A ROBOT?

406. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TWO GETTING ALONG.

407. HA HA HA HA!