1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
2. AND NICKELODEONCopy !req
3. AH-HA HA HA HA!Copy !req
4. AND YOU, MARY,Copy !req
5. RIGHT WHERE YOUR HEAD IS,Copy !req
6. BEFORE THE BIG BANG,
THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!Copy !req
7. AND OUTSIDE, WHERE THAT
SQUIRREL IS,Copy !req
8. THERE WAS NOTHING!Copy !req
9. AND UNDER YOUR CHAIRS...
NOTHING!Copy !req
10. AND BY THAT TREE,
WHERE THAT DOG IS...Copy !req
11. NOTHING.Copy !req
12. RRRGGGGHHH!Copy !req
13. PHEW!Copy !req
14. DON'T FORGET
THAT TONIGHT IS
PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT.Copy !req
15. EVERYONE IS REQUIRED
TO BRING THEIR PARENTS
TO THE CAFETERIA.Copy !req
16. I NEVER AGREED
TO ATTEND THIS
PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT!Copy !req
17. YES, YOU DID.Copy !req
18. NO. YOU LIE!
YOU LIIIIIIE!Copy !req
19. ZIM, ARE YOU GOING
TO BRING YOUR PARENTSCopy !req
20. TO PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT?Copy !req
21. YEAH, SURE, WHATEVER.Copy !req
22. WHY WOULD YOU
TAPE THAT?Copy !req
23. PUTTING UP A LOT OF
FIGHT FOR SOMETHINGCopy !req
24. AS SIMPLE AS
PARENT/TEACHER
NIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
25. I BET HE DOESN'T
EVEN KNOW WHAT
PARENTS ARE.Copy !req
26. OF COURSE, I DO.Copy !req
27. WELCOME TO LIFE,
IRKEN CHILD.Copy !req
28. REPORT FOR DUTY.Copy !req
29. YOU WILL BE HERE
TONIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
30. YOU... AND
YOUR PARENTS!Copy !req
31. YEAH—SEE YOU
AND YOUR PARENTS
TONIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
32. YES! OH, I WILL BRING
MY PARENTSCopy !req
33. AND THEY SHALL BE
THE GREATEST,Copy !req
34. MOST PARENTAL
PARENTS EVERRRR!Copy !req
35. WELCOME HOME, SON.Copy !req
36. UM—OH, IS THE UH—
LADY OF THE HOUSE IN?Copy !req
37. THAT'S ME!Copy !req
38. I AM HOUSE LADY.
BRUSH YOUR TEETH.Copy !req
39. UH—HURUMPH—
I'M SELLING MAKEUPCopy !req
40. AND I JUST KNOW
YOU'LL FIND
SOMETHING GREAT—Copy !req
41. I SAID
BRUSH YOUR TEETH!Copy !req
42. I'LL SEE YOU
AND YOUR PARENTS
TONIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
43. BY THE WAY,
IT'S NOT CALLED
PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT...Copy !req
44. IT'S CALLED
ZIM DOOM PARENT...Copy !req
45. ZIM DOOM ZIMMY DOOM...Copy !req
46. NIGHT.Copy !req
47. HEH HEH HEH HEH.Copy !req
48. WATCH OUT
FOR THAT PUPPY.Copy !req
49. HUH?Copy !req
50. HAH!Copy !req
51. AH! AH AH AH!Copy !req
52. WAAAHHH!Copy !req
53. WAIT! COME BACK!Copy !req
54. I NEED STUFF!Copy !req
55. WELCOME HOME, SON.Copy !req
56. YOU WANT SOME DINNER,
SWEETHEART?Copy !req
57. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?Copy !req
58. I ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS
BEFORE THIS...Copy !req
59. PARENT/TEACHER THING.Copy !req
60. THE PARENT DECOYS AREN'T READY
FOR THAT KIND OF SERVICE.Copy !req
61. THEIR INTERACTIVE SKILLS
ARE TOO LIMITED.Copy !req
62. UNLESS...Copy !req
63. GIR!Copy !req
64. YES, SIR.Copy !req
65. GIR, WE HAVE TO
PROGRAM THE PARENTSCopy !req
66. TO LEARN HUMAN
SOCIAL BEHAVIORCopy !req
67. IF THEY ARE
TO JOIN ME FORCopy !req
68. PARENT/TEACHER
NIGHT.Copy !req
69. YES, SIR.
RIGHT AWAY.Copy !req
70. FAILURE TO ROTATE STOCK
DESTROYS MERCHANDISE...Copy !req
71. OOH! THIS IS
MY FAVORITE SHOW.Copy !req
72. WAIT, THIS IS
MY FAVORITE SHOW.Copy !req
73. LOOK! IT'S
MY FAVORITE SHOW.Copy !req
74. AHHHH!Copy !req
75. MY SPINE!Copy !req
76. I LOVE THIS SHOW.Copy !req
77. NO, GIR, THE ROBOT PARENTS
MUST LEARN PROPER PARENTINGCopy !req
78. FROM THIS VIDEO PROGRAM.Copy !req
79. MAKE SURE THEY WATCH
THE ENTIRE VIDEO, GIR!Copy !req
80. THE FATE OF OUR MISSION
DEPENDS ON IT!Copy !req
81. WE SURE ARE PROUD
OF OUR LITTLE BOY.Copy !req
82. WE SURE ARE.Copy !req
83. ARE YOU PLAGUED
BY GRASS STAINS?Copy !req
84. I LIKE BURRITOS,Copy !req
85. BUT THEY SURE
DON'T LIKE ME.Copy !req
86. WHO DOES YOUR HAIR?Copy !req
87. WE RETURN TO OUR MOVIE
IN PROGRESS,Copy !req
88. POKE... OF DOOM!Copy !req
89. I LOVE THIS SHOW.Copy !req
90. ARE YOU READY,
DEAR?Copy !req
91. YES.Copy !req
92. WELL THEN,
WE OUGHT TO BE
ON OUR WAY.Copy !req
93. YES.Copy !req
94. WE SURE ARE
PROUD OF YOU, SON.Copy !req
95. WE SURE ARRRRRE.Copy !req
96. I LOVE THIS SHOW.Copy !req
97. HEY, KIDS,
YOUR DAD.Copy !req
98. I NEVER KNEW HE WAS
A FLOATING HEAD.Copy !req
99. OH, HE'S NOT.Copy !req
100. MY DAD'S JUST REALLY
BUSY AND HE COULDN'T
BE HERE IN PERSON.Copy !req
101. HE'S TRANSMITTING
LIVE FROM HIS LAB
ACROSS TOWN.Copy !req
102. HEY, MY DAD WAS
LIKE THAT, TOO.Copy !req
103. YOU KNOW,
I UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
104. IT'S NICE TO MEET
YOU, PROFESSOR!Copy !req
105. I'M MR. ELLIOT, HUH,
YOUR DAUGHTER GAZ'S
TEACHER.Copy !req
106. I'M SORRY, BUT I'M
VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
107. WE'RE TESTING SOME
HIGHLY UNSTABLE...Copy !req
108. HAH! NO!
YOU HAVE THE MIXTURE
ALL WRONG!Copy !req
109. THESE ARE MY PARENTS.
I LOVE THEM WITH
ALL MY HEART.Copy !req
110. I MUST HAVE PUNCH NOW!Copy !req
111. WHEN YOU WERE MY STUDENTS,Copy !req
112. I SAID YOU'D AMOUNT
TO NOTHING,Copy !req
113. AND I WAS RIGHT.Copy !req
114. YOU'RE NOTHING!Copy !req
115. HELLO, ZIM.Copy !req
116. DIB.Copy !req
117. DAD, THERE'S SOMEBODY
I WANT YOU TO MEET.Copy !req
118. THIS IS ZIM.
YOU KNOW, THE ALIEN.Copy !req
119. AND WHAT COUNTRY
IS THE LITTLE GREEN
BOY FROM?Copy !req
120. YES, YES.
THAT'S FASCINATING.Copy !req
121. SO, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?Copy !req
122. MY MOM WON'T SHUT UP
ABOUT ME!Copy !req
123. IT'S REALLY
EMBARRASSING.Copy !req
124. AT LEAST SHE'S NOT
SHOWING THE PICTURES.Copy !req
125. OOH, AND YOU JUST
GOTTA SEE THESE
PICTURES.Copy !req
126. NOW, HERE'S BILLY
CRYING WHEN HE WASCopy !req
127. KICKED OFF
THE SOCCER TEAM
FOR CRYING TOO MUCH.Copy !req
128. HEE HEE HEE.Copy !req
129. GRASS STAINS SURE ARE
TOUGH TO GET OUT OF
THOSE SOCCER UNIFORMS.Copy !req
130. SPORTS AREN'T
EVERYTHING.Copy !req
131. I'M SURE YOUR BOY
WILL FIND SOMETHING
HE'S GOOD AT.Copy !req
132. THAT'S TRUE.Copy !req
133. HEY!Copy !req
134. TRY ONE OF
THESE COOKIES.Copy !req
135. MY WIFE MADE THEM.Copy !req
136. THANKS, TED.Copy !req
137. OH, NO.Copy !req
138. HONEY, IS IT...?Copy !req
139. YEP.Copy !req
140. DIARRHEA!Copy !req
141. I HAVE JUST
THE THING FOR THAT!Copy !req
142. WHO DOES YOUR HAIR?Copy !req
143. AH! AH AH! OW!
MY HEAD!Copy !req
144. MOM, I THINK
WE SHOULD GO HOME NOW.Copy !req
145. DON'T TELL ME
WHAT TO DO, YOUNG MAN.Copy !req
146. YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM!Copy !req
147. HEY, IS YOUR DAD
FEELING WELL?Copy !req
148. YES, HE'S PERFECTLY FINE.Copy !req
149. AAAHHH!Copy !req
150. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.Copy !req
151. MY DAD LOST HIS ARM
IN UH—THE WAR.Copy !req
152. THAT WAS
MY SQUEEZIN' ARM.Copy !req
153. THEY TOOK
MY SQUEEZING ARM!Copy !req
154. WHY MY SQUEEZING ARM!Copy !req
155. AAAAAARRRGH!Copy !req
156. QUIT POKIN'
MY MOM'S HEAD!Copy !req
157. LOOK, MOM,
WE REALLY HAVE TO GO.Copy !req
158. PLEASE NOW, PLEASE!Copy !req
159. HONEY, YOU'RE UPSET.Copy !req
160. YES! AND I WANT
TO GO HOME.Copy !req
161. I KNOW WHAT'LL
CHEER YOU UP.Copy !req
162. LOOK, EVERYONE, LOOK!Copy !req
163. CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT THIS WOMAN
IS SUFFERINGCopy !req
164. FROM SEVERE
POKEY TRAUMA?Copy !req
165. MOM, DAD! I THINK
I'VE BROKEN MY SPINE!Copy !req
166. MY SPINE. AAAAHHH!Copy !req
167. AW, HONEY.
I THINK IT'S TIME
WE TOOK YOU HOME.Copy !req
168. LEMME GUESS...Copy !req
169. NOBODY SAW THAT, RIGHT?Copy !req
170. HEY, THAT KID'S
THROWING PUNCH!Copy !req
171. YEEEEHEEE!Copy !req
172. I'M RUNNING!
I'M RUNNING!Copy !req
173. AAAHHH! WHOO...!Copy !req
174. OW! I'M NAKED!Copy !req
175. GIR! SIT STILL!Copy !req
176. I DON'T NEED IT!Copy !req
177. I DON'T NEED IT!Copy !req
178. DONE.
THE FINEST IN IRKEN
GUIDANCE TECHNOLOGYCopy !req
179. AND I HAVE IMPROVED IT.Copy !req
180. WITH THESE UPGRADES,
GIR,Copy !req
181. THERE WILL BE NOTHING
THAT YOU CANNOT FIND,Copy !req
182. NO SITUATION THAT
YOU CANNOT GUIDE US OUT OF.Copy !req
183. BEEEEES!Copy !req
184. NOW, IF WE COULD JUST
WORK ON YOUR BEHAVIOR.Copy !req
185. AW, MY BEES.Copy !req
186. YOU NOW POSSESS
SUPERIOR GEOGRAPHIC
GUIDANCE ABILITIES, GIR.Copy !req
187. FINALLY.Copy !req
188. REPORT UPGRADE
STATUS.Copy !req
189. SIR, GUIDANCE CHIP
IN PLACE AND FULLY
FUNCTIONAL, SIR.Copy !req
190. DEMONSTRATE.
WHICH WAY IS—
THE SCHOOL?Copy !req
191. GOOD, GIR.Copy !req
192. NOW, SOMETHING TOUGHER.Copy !req
193. WHERE IS PLANET BLORCH?Copy !req
194. EXCELLENT.Copy !req
195. NOW, WHERE IS
OUR HOME PLANET IRK?Copy !req
196. PERFECT.Copy !req
197. OK, GIR, I THINK
A FIELD TEST IS IN ORDER.Copy !req
198. LET'S GO INTO
THE NEARBY CITYCopy !req
199. AND GET AS LOST
AS WE CAN.Copy !req
200. GIR, NO CHEATING.Copy !req
201. SHUT YOUR CHIP
OFF FIRST.Copy !req
202. DO WE HAVE TO GO
RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
203. I WANNA WATCH
THE SCARY MONKEY
SHOW.Copy !req
204. THAT MONKEY.Copy !req
205. AS SOON AS
WE'RE LOST ENOUGH,Copy !req
206. YOU JUST USE THE CHIP
TO GUIDE US HOME.Copy !req
207. NOW, PUT YOUR
DISGUISE BACK ON.Copy !req
208. I HAVE DEVISED A NEW,Copy !req
209. EVEN MORE INSIDIOUSLY
CLEVER DISGUISE FOR MYSELF.Copy !req
210. BE ALERT, GIR.Copy !req
211. ON THIS PLANET,Copy !req
212. WE ARE SURROUNDED
BY DANGER AND MADNESS!Copy !req
213. I LIKE MADNESS.Copy !req
214. MADNESS!Copy !req
215. OK, I THINK I'VE HAD
MY FILL OF THESE
HORRIBLECopy !req
216. STINK PEOPLE THINGS
FOR TODAY!Copy !req
217. SO ACTIVATE
YOUR GUIDANCE CHIPCopy !req
218. AND LEAD THE WAY
TO HOME.Copy !req
219. HA HA HA HA.Copy !req
220. NO. NO, GIR,
NOT IRK.Copy !req
221. I MEANT OUR HOME BASE
HERE ON EARTH.Copy !req
222. OH, HERE.Copy !req
223. OUR HOUSE, GIR!Copy !req
224. WHICH DIRECTION
IS OUR HOUSE?Copy !req
225. UM... THAT WAY.Copy !req
226. NO, WAIT.
UM...Copy !req
227. IT'S OVER THERE.Copy !req
228. HOW COULD YOU
NOT KNOW?Copy !req
229. I JUST UPGRADED
YOUR GUIDANCE SYSTEM.Copy !req
230. OH, I LEFT THAT
AT HOME.Copy !req
231. YOU LEFT WHAT AT HOME?Copy !req
232. THE GUIDEY
CHIPPY THINGY.Copy !req
233. YOU?Copy !req
234. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?Copy !req
235. TO MAKE ROOM FOR
THE CUPCAKE.Copy !req
236. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?Copy !req
237. YOU'VE LEFT US STRANDED
IN THE MIDDLECopy !req
238. OF THE ENEMY TERRITORY,Copy !req
239. SURROUNDED BY HUMANS!Copy !req
240. I CAN SEE THAT
YOU UNDERSTAND
YOUR MISTAKE, GIR,Copy !req
241. AND ME BEING ANGRY
WILL GET US
NO CLOSER TO HOME.Copy !req
242. I WILL JUST HAVE
TO USE MY INNATECopy !req
243. INVADER SURVIVAL SKILLS
TO GET US OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
244. SEE, GIR,
THE ALMIGHTY TALLESTCopy !req
245. HAVE NOT PLACED
THEIR TRUST IN ME
WITHOUT REASON.Copy !req
246. I MISS YOU, CUPCAKE.Copy !req
247. I WILL USE THESE PIECES
OF SCRAP METAL TO
FASHION A COMPASS,Copy !req
248. USING THIS PLANET'S
OWN MAGNETIC FIELD
AGAINST IT.Copy !req
249. NOW, WITNESS THE POWER
OF MY COMPASS.Copy !req
250. AW, IT LIKES ME.Copy !req
251. PERHAPS A COMPASS
IS NOT THE BEST TOOL
FOR THIS SITUATION.Copy !req
252. WHY DON'T WE ASK
THE INFORMATION HUMANS
FOR HELP?Copy !req
253. I WILL NOT
STOOP AS LOW AS TO ASKCopy !req
254. THE HUMANS FOR HELP.Copy !req
255. YOU SPEAK NONSENSE,
GIR.Copy !req
256. WE HELP OURSELVES.Copy !req
257. WHAT... ABOUT... THE... BUS?Copy !req
258. EXCELLENT, GIR!Copy !req
259. WE WILL USE ONE OF
THEIR OWN METHODS
OF TRANSPORTATIONCopy !req
260. TO BEAT
THIS REVOLTING CITY.Copy !req
261. Bus driver:
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?Copy !req
262. I GO HOME.
NOW MIND YOUR BUSINESS,
BUS-SLAVE.Copy !req
263. YOU DON'T GO ANYWHERE
WITHOUT BUS FARE.Copy !req
264. FARE?Copy !req
265. THIS AIN'T A FREE RIDE,
LITTLE MAN.Copy !req
266. YOU NEED MONEY.Copy !req
267. YOU EXPECT ME
TO PAY TO BE ON
THIS FILTHY MACHINE?Copy !req
268. HAVE YOU
THE BRAIN WORMS?Copy !req
269. AAAHHH!Copy !req
270. FINE! I DON'T NEED
YOUR BUS!Copy !req
271. I WILL USE THE POWER
OF YOUR SUN TO FIND MY WAY.Copy !req
272. WEIRDO.Copy !req
273. ARE WE GONNA RIDE
THE SUN HOME?Copy !req
274. NO, GIR!Copy !req
275. I CAN USE THE EARTH'S SUN
TO DETERMINE WHICH
DIRECTION IS WEST.Copy !req
276. THE EARTH'S SUN ALWAYS
SETS IN THE WEST.Copy !req
277. NOW, WATCH ME AMAZE YOU.Copy !req
278. HMM! MM-MM.Copy !req
279. MMMM.Copy !req
280. WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
281. I'M BLIND!Copy !req
282. NO! NO NO!Copy !req
283. AH! AH! NO!Copy !req
284. THEY'VE BOOBY TRAPPED
THEIR SUN SOMEHOW!Copy !req
285. A MINOR SETBACK,
GIR.Copy !req
286. WE'LL BE HOME
IN NO TIME.Copy !req
287. I'LL JUST WAIT
UNTIL THE SKIN GROWS
BACK ON MY EYEBALLS.Copy !req
288. GIR!Copy !req
289. I CAN SEE.Copy !req
290. I CAN SEE!Copy !req
291. NOW WE CAN FIGURE OUT
HOW TO ESCAPE THIS
FILTHY PLACE.Copy !req
292. GET A JOB, YOU BUM!Copy !req
293. THAT'S IT!
IF WE CAN FIND A JOB,Copy !req
294. WE CAN MAKE MONEY.Copy !req
295. WITH THIS MONEY,Copy !req
296. WE CAN RIDE THE BUS.Copy !req
297. I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU,
CITY.Copy !req
298. YOU WON'T MAKE A FOOL
OF THIS IRKEN INVADER!Copy !req
299. I'M GONNA
EAT A RAT!Copy !req
300. FINALLY,
WE ARE HEADING HOME.Copy !req
301. I SMELL DOOKIE.Copy !req
302. EEK.Copy !req
303. I CANNOT STAY
ON THIS BUS ANY LONGER!Copy !req
304. FREAK.Copy !req
305. WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THESE PEOPLE?Copy !req
306. THIS PLACE IS JUST
BEGGING TO BE DESTROYED.Copy !req
307. WOO! I LIKE
DESTROYING.Copy !req
308. GIR... I HAVE A PLAN.Copy !req
309. OCULAR IMPLANTS ARE
STANDARD INVADER ISSUE.Copy !req
310. FROM THE TOP
OF THAT BUILDING,Copy !req
311. MY INCREDIBLE EYES
SHOULD BE ABLECopy !req
312. TO SPOT OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.Copy !req
313. COME ON.Copy !req
314. 'KAY.Copy !req
315. ICE CREAM!Copy !req
316. SOMEBODY BUY IT!Copy !req
317. ICE CREAM.
I GOT ICE CREAM.Copy !req
318. OH!Copy !req
319. IT'S HIM!Copy !req
320. HEY, THAT'S THE GUY!Copy !req
321. AND HE'S BACK FOR...Copy !req
322. MOOOOORE...!Copy !req
323. GET HIM!Copy !req
324. AAAHHH!Copy !req
325. AAAHHH!Copy !req
326. OK, NOW, WHERE DO
WE GO FROM HERE?Copy !req
327. THERE! THAT LOOKS
ABOUT RIGHT.Copy !req
328. NOW, GIR, USE YOUR
JETS TO FLY US HOME.Copy !req
329. YES, SIR!Copy !req
330. AAAAAAHHHHH!Copy !req
331. WHAT HAPPENED?
HOW DID YOU RUN OUT
OF FUEL THAT QUICKLY?Copy !req
332. I EMPTIED IT OUT.Copy !req
333. EMPTIED IT? WHY?Copy !req
334. TO MAKE ROOM
FOR THE TUNA.Copy !req
335. OK.Copy !req
336. HEY!Copy !req
337. WHERE TO?Copy !req
338. YOU THINK
I WON'T BE READY.Copy !req
339. BUT YOU'RE WRONG,
PRESUMPTUOUS CAB-BEAST.Copy !req
340. I HAVE PREPARED MYSELF
FOR THIS MOMENT,Copy !req
341. AND IT HAS PAID OFF
IN FULL!Copy !req
342. YOU SEE, THE INVADERS
LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES,Copy !req
343. HOWEVER RARE
THEY MAY BE.Copy !req
344. NOW, HUMAN,
TAKE ME TO—THAT WAY!Copy !req
345. AND QUICKLY.Copy !req
346. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,Copy !req
347. I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO GO HOME!Copy !req
348. BY
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
AND NICKELODEONCopy !req
349. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
—www.ncicap.org—Copy !req