1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
2. AND NICKELODEONCopy !req
3. AH-HA HA HA HA!Copy !req
4. AND YOU, MARY,Copy !req
5. RIGHT WHERE YOUR HEAD IS,Copy !req
6. BEFORE THE BIG BANG,
THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!Copy !req
7. AND OUTSIDE, WHERE THAT
SQUIRREL IS,Copy !req
8. THERE WAS NOTHING!Copy !req
9. AND UNDER YOUR CHAIRS...
NOTHING!Copy !req
10. AND BY THAT TREE,
WHERE THAT DOG IS...Copy !req
11. NOTHING.Copy !req
12. RRRGGGGHHH!Copy !req
13. PHEW!Copy !req
14. DON'T FORGET
THAT TONIGHT IS
PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT.Copy !req
15. EVERYONE IS REQUIRED
TO BRING THEIR PARENTS
TO THE CAFETERIA.Copy !req
16. I NEVER AGREED
TO ATTEND THIS
PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT!Copy !req
17. YES, YOU DID.Copy !req
18. NO. YOU LIE!
YOU LIIIIIIE!Copy !req
19. ZIM, ARE YOU GOING
TO BRING YOUR PARENTSCopy !req
20. TO PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT?Copy !req
21. YEAH, SURE, WHATEVER.Copy !req
22. WHY WOULD YOU
TAPE THAT?Copy !req
23. PUTTING UP A LOT OF
FIGHT FOR SOMETHINGCopy !req
24. AS SIMPLE AS
PARENT/TEACHER
NIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
25. I BET HE DOESN'T
EVEN KNOW WHAT
PARENTS ARE.Copy !req
26. OF COURSE, I DO.Copy !req
27. WELCOME TO LIFE,
IRKEN CHILD.Copy !req
28. REPORT FOR DUTY.Copy !req
29. [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
I LOVE YOU,
COLD, UNFEELING
ROBOT ARM.Copy !req
30. YOU WILL BE HERE
TONIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
31. YOU... AND
YOUR PARENTS!Copy !req
32. YEAH—SEE YOU
AND YOUR PARENTS
TONIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
33. YES! OH, I WILL BRING
MY PARENTSCopy !req
34. AND THEY SHALL BE
THE GREATEST,Copy !req
35. MOST PARENTAL
PARENTS EVERRRR!Copy !req
36. WELCOME HOME, SON.Copy !req
37. UM—OH, IS THE UH—
LADY OF THE HOUSE IN?Copy !req
38. THAT'S ME!Copy !req
39. I AM HOUSE LADY.
BRUSH YOUR TEETH.Copy !req
40. UH—HURUMPH—
I'M SELLING MAKEUPCopy !req
41. AND I JUST KNOW
YOU'LL FIND
SOMETHING GREAT—Copy !req
42. I SAID
BRUSH YOUR TEETH!Copy !req
43. I'LL SEE YOU
AND YOUR PARENTS
TONIGHT, ZIM.Copy !req
44. BY THE WAY,
IT'S NOT CALLED
PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT...Copy !req
45. IT'S CALLED
ZIM DOOM PARENT...Copy !req
46. ZIM DOOM ZIMMY DOOM...Copy !req
47. NIGHT.Copy !req
48. HEH HEH HEH HEH.Copy !req
49. WATCH OUT
FOR THAT PUPPY.Copy !req
50. HUH?Copy !req
51. HAH!Copy !req
52. AH! AH AH AH!Copy !req
53. WAAAHHH!Copy !req
54. WAIT! COME BACK!Copy !req
55. I NEED STUFF!Copy !req
56. WELCOME HOME, SON.Copy !req
57. YOU WANT SOME DINNER,
SWEETHEART?Copy !req
58. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?Copy !req
59. I ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS
BEFORE THIS...Copy !req
60. PARENT/TEACHER THING.Copy !req
61. THE PARENT DECOYS AREN'T READY
FOR THAT KIND OF SERVICE.Copy !req
62. THEIR INTERACTIVE SKILLS
ARE TOO LIMITED.Copy !req
63. UNLESS...Copy !req
64. GIR!Copy !req
65. YES, SIR.Copy !req
66. GIR, WE HAVE TO
PROGRAM THE PARENTSCopy !req
67. TO LEARN HUMAN
SOCIAL BEHAVIORCopy !req
68. IF THEY ARE
TO JOIN ME FORCopy !req
69. PARENT/TEACHER
NIGHT.Copy !req
70. YES, SIR.
RIGHT AWAY.Copy !req
71. FAILURE TO ROTATE STOCK
DESTROYS MERCHANDISE...Copy !req
72. OOH! THIS IS
MY FAVORITE SHOW.Copy !req
73. WAIT, THIS IS
MY FAVORITE SHOW.Copy !req
74. LOOK! IT'S
MY FAVORITE SHOW.Copy !req
75. AHHHH!Copy !req
76. MY SPINE!Copy !req
77. I LOVE THIS SHOW.Copy !req
78. NO, GIR, THE ROBOT PARENTS
MUST LEARN PROPER PARENTINGCopy !req
79. FROM THIS VIDEO PROGRAM.Copy !req
80. MAKE SURE THEY WATCH
THE ENTIRE VIDEO, GIR!Copy !req
81. THE FATE OF OUR MISSION
DEPENDS ON IT!Copy !req
82. WE SURE ARE PROUD
OF OUR LITTLE BOY.Copy !req
83. WE SURE ARE.Copy !req
84. ARE YOU PLAGUED
BY GRASS STAINS?Copy !req
85. I LIKE BURRITOS,Copy !req
86. BUT THEY SURE
DON'T LIKE ME.Copy !req
87. WHO DOES YOUR HAIR?Copy !req
88. WE RETURN TO OUR MOVIE
IN PROGRESS,Copy !req
89. POKE... OF DOOM!Copy !req
90. I LOVE THIS SHOW.Copy !req
91. ARE YOU READY,
DEAR?Copy !req
92. YES.Copy !req
93. WELL THEN,
WE OUGHT TO BE
ON OUR WAY.Copy !req
94. YES.Copy !req
95. WE SURE ARE
PROUD OF YOU, SON.Copy !req
96. WE SURE ARRRRRE.Copy !req
97. I LOVE THIS SHOW.Copy !req
98. HEY, KIDS,
YOUR DAD.Copy !req
99. I NEVER KNEW HE WAS
A FLOATING HEAD.Copy !req
100. OH, HE'S NOT.Copy !req
101. MY DAD'S JUST REALLY
BUSY AND HE COULDN'T
BE HERE IN PERSON.Copy !req
102. HE'S TRANSMITTING
LIVE FROM HIS LAB
ACROSS TOWN.Copy !req
103. HEY, MY DAD WAS
LIKE THAT, TOO.Copy !req
104. YOU KNOW,
I UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
105. IT'S NICE TO MEET
YOU, PROFESSOR!Copy !req
106. I'M MR. ELLIOT, HUH,
YOUR DAUGHTER GAZ'S
TEACHER.Copy !req
107. I'M SORRY, BUT I'M
VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
108. WE'RE TESTING SOME
HIGHLY UNSTABLE...Copy !req
109. HAH! NO!
YOU HAVE THE MIXTURE
ALL WRONG!Copy !req
110. THESE ARE MY PARENTS.
I LOVE THEM WITH
ALL MY HEART.Copy !req
111. I MUST HAVE PUNCH NOW!Copy !req
112. WHEN YOU WERE MY STUDENTS,Copy !req
113. I SAID YOU'D AMOUNT
TO NOTHING,Copy !req
114. AND I WAS RIGHT.Copy !req
115. YOU'RE NOTHING!Copy !req
116. HELLO, ZIM.Copy !req
117. DIB.Copy !req
118. DAD, THERE'S SOMEBODY
I WANT YOU TO MEET.Copy !req
119. THIS IS ZIM.
YOU KNOW, THE ALIEN.Copy !req
120. AND WHAT COUNTRY
IS THE LITTLE GREEN
BOY FROM?Copy !req
121. YES, YES.
THAT'S FASCINATING.Copy !req
122. SO, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?Copy !req
123. MY MOM WON'T SHUT UP
ABOUT ME!Copy !req
124. IT'S REALLY
EMBARRASSING.Copy !req
125. AT LEAST SHE'S NOT
SHOWING THE PICTURES.Copy !req
126. OOH, AND YOU JUST
GOTTA SEE THESE
PICTURES.Copy !req
127. NOW, HERE'S BILLY
CRYING WHEN HE WASCopy !req
128. KICKED OFF
THE SOCCER TEAM
FOR CRYING TOO MUCH.Copy !req
129. HEE HEE HEE.Copy !req
130. GRASS STAINS SURE ARE
TOUGH TO GET OUT OF
THOSE SOCCER UNIFORMS.Copy !req
131. SPORTS AREN'T
EVERYTHING.Copy !req
132. I'M SURE YOUR BOY
WILL FIND SOMETHING
HE'S GOOD AT.Copy !req
133. THAT'S TRUE.Copy !req
134. HEY!Copy !req
135. TRY ONE OF
THESE COOKIES.Copy !req
136. MY WIFE MADE THEM.Copy !req
137. THANKS, TED.Copy !req
138. OH, NO.Copy !req
139. HONEY, IS IT...?Copy !req
140. YEP.Copy !req
141. DIARRHEA!Copy !req
142. I HAVE JUST
THE THING FOR THAT!Copy !req
143. WHO DOES YOUR HAIR?Copy !req
144. AH! AH AH! OW!
MY HEAD!Copy !req
145. MOM, I THINK
WE SHOULD GO HOME NOW.Copy !req
146. DON'T TELL ME
WHAT TO DO, YOUNG MAN.Copy !req
147. YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM!Copy !req
148. HEY, IS YOUR DAD
FEELING WELL?Copy !req
149. YES, HE'S PERFECTLY FINE.Copy !req
150. AAAHHH!Copy !req
151. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.Copy !req
152. MY DAD LOST HIS ARM
IN UH—THE WAR.Copy !req
153. THAT WAS
MY SQUEEZIN' ARM.Copy !req
154. THEY TOOK
MY SQUEEZING ARM!Copy !req
155. WHY MY SQUEEZING ARM!Copy !req
156. AAAAAARRRGH!Copy !req
157. QUIT POKIN'
MY MOM'S HEAD!Copy !req
158. LOOK, MOM,
WE REALLY HAVE TO GO.Copy !req
159. PLEASE NOW, PLEASE!Copy !req
160. HONEY, YOU'RE UPSET.Copy !req
161. YES! AND I WANT
TO GO HOME.Copy !req
162. I KNOW WHAT'LL
CHEER YOU UP.Copy !req
163. LOOK, EVERYONE, LOOK!Copy !req
164. CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT THIS WOMAN
IS SUFFERINGCopy !req
165. FROM SEVERE
POKEY TRAUMA?Copy !req
166. MOM, DAD! I THINK
I'VE BROKEN MY SPINE!Copy !req
167. MY SPINE. AAAAHHH!Copy !req
168. AW, HONEY.
I THINK IT'S TIME
WE TOOK YOU HOME.Copy !req
169. LEMME GUESS...Copy !req
170. NOBODY SAW THAT, RIGHT?Copy !req
171. HEY, THAT KID'S
THROWING PUNCH!Copy !req
172. YEEEEHEEE!Copy !req
173. I'M RUNNING!
I'M RUNNING!Copy !req
174. AAAHHH! WHOO...!Copy !req
175. OW! I'M NAKED!Copy !req
176. GIR! SIT STILL!Copy !req
177. I NEED QUIET
TO REPAIR YOUR
GUIDANCE SYSTEMS
BOX.Copy !req
178. I DON'T NEED IT!Copy !req
179. I DON'T NEED IT!Copy !req
180. DONE.
THE FINEST IN IRKEN
GUIDANCE TECHNOLOGYCopy !req
181. AND I HAVE IMPROVED IT.Copy !req
182. WITH THESE UPGRADES,
GIR,Copy !req
183. THERE WILL BE NOTHING
THAT YOU CANNOT FIND,Copy !req
184. NO SITUATION THAT
YOU CANNOT GUIDE US OUT OF.Copy !req
185. BEEEEES!Copy !req
186. NOW, IF WE COULD JUST
WORK ON YOUR BEHAVIOR.Copy !req
187. AW, MY BEES.Copy !req
188. YOU NOW POSSESS
SUPERIOR GEOGRAPHIC
GUIDANCE ABILITIES, GIR.Copy !req
189. FINALLY.Copy !req
190. REPORT UPGRADE
STATUS.Copy !req
191. SIR, GUIDANCE CHIP
IN PLACE AND FULLY
FUNCTIONAL, SIR.Copy !req
192. DEMONSTRATE.
WHICH WAY IS—
THE SCHOOL?Copy !req
193. GOOD, GIR.Copy !req
194. NOW, SOMETHING TOUGHER.Copy !req
195. WHERE IS PLANET BLORCH?Copy !req
196. EXCELLENT.Copy !req
197. NOW, WHERE IS
OUR HOME PLANET IRK?Copy !req
198. PERFECT.Copy !req
199. OK, GIR, I THINK
A FIELD TEST IS IN ORDER.Copy !req
200. LET'S GO INTO
THE NEARBY CITYCopy !req
201. AND GET AS LOST
AS WE CAN.Copy !req
202. GIR, NO CHEATING.Copy !req
203. SHUT YOUR CHIP
OFF FIRST.Copy !req
204. DO WE HAVE TO GO
RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
205. I WANNA WATCH
THE SCARY MONKEY
SHOW.Copy !req
206. THAT MONKEY.Copy !req
207. AS SOON AS
WE'RE LOST ENOUGH,Copy !req
208. YOU JUST USE THE CHIP
TO GUIDE US HOME.Copy !req
209. NOW, PUT YOUR
DISGUISE BACK ON.Copy !req
210. I HAVE DEVISED A NEW,Copy !req
211. EVEN MORE INSIDIOUSLY
CLEVER DISGUISE FOR MYSELF.Copy !req
212. BE ALERT, GIR.Copy !req
213. ON THIS PLANET,Copy !req
214. WE ARE SURROUNDED
BY DANGER AND MADNESS!Copy !req
215. I LIKE MADNESS.Copy !req
216. MADNESS!Copy !req
217. OK, I THINK I'VE HAD
MY FILL OF THESE
HORRIBLECopy !req
218. STINK PEOPLE THINGS
FOR TODAY!Copy !req
219. SO ACTIVATE
YOUR GUIDANCE CHIPCopy !req
220. AND LEAD THE WAY
TO HOME.Copy !req
221. HA HA HA HA.Copy !req
222. NO. NO, GIR,
NOT IRK.Copy !req
223. I MEANT OUR HOME BASE
HERE ON EARTH.Copy !req
224. OH, HERE.Copy !req
225. OUR HOUSE, GIR!Copy !req
226. WHICH DIRECTION
IS OUR HOUSE?Copy !req
227. UM... THAT WAY.Copy !req
228. NO, WAIT.
UM...Copy !req
229. IT'S OVER THERE.Copy !req
230. HOW COULD YOU
NOT KNOW?Copy !req
231. I JUST UPGRADED
YOUR GUIDANCE SYSTEM.Copy !req
232. OH, I LEFT THAT
AT HOME.Copy !req
233. YOU LEFT WHAT AT HOME?Copy !req
234. THE GUIDEY
CHIPPY THINGY.Copy !req
235. YOU?Copy !req
236. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?Copy !req
237. TO MAKE ROOM FOR
THE CUPCAKE.Copy !req
238. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?Copy !req
239. YOU'VE LEFT US STRANDED
IN THE MIDDLECopy !req
240. OF THE ENEMY TERRITORY,Copy !req
241. SURROUNDED BY HUMANS!Copy !req
242. I CAN SEE THAT
YOU UNDERSTAND
YOUR MISTAKE, GIR,Copy !req
243. AND ME BEING ANGRY
WILL GET US
NO CLOSER TO HOME.Copy !req
244. I WILL JUST HAVE
TO USE MY INNATECopy !req
245. INVADER SURVIVAL SKILLS
TO GET US OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
246. SEE, GIR,
THE ALMIGHTY TALLESTCopy !req
247. HAVE NOT PLACED
THEIR TRUST IN ME
WITHOUT REASON.Copy !req
248. I MISS YOU, CUPCAKE.Copy !req
249. I WILL USE THESE PIECES
OF SCRAP METAL TO
FASHION A COMPASS,Copy !req
250. USING THIS PLANET'S
OWN MAGNETIC FIELD
AGAINST IT.Copy !req
251. NOW, WITNESS THE POWER
OF MY COMPASS.Copy !req
252. AW, IT LIKES ME.Copy !req
253. PERHAPS A COMPASS
IS NOT THE BEST TOOL
FOR THIS SITUATION.Copy !req
254. WHY DON'T WE ASK
THE INFORMATION HUMANS
FOR HELP?Copy !req
255. I WILL NOT
STOOP AS LOW AS TO ASKCopy !req
256. THE HUMANS FOR HELP.Copy !req
257. YOU SPEAK NONSENSE,
GIR.Copy !req
258. WE HELP OURSELVES.Copy !req
259. WHAT... ABOUT... THE... BUS?Copy !req
260. EXCELLENT, GIR!Copy !req
261. WE WILL USE ONE OF
THEIR OWN METHODS
OF TRANSPORTATIONCopy !req
262. TO BEAT
THIS REVOLTING CITY.Copy !req
263. Bus driver:
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?Copy !req
264. I GO HOME.
NOW MIND YOUR BUSINESS,
BUS-SLAVE.Copy !req
265. YOU DON'T GO ANYWHERE
WITHOUT BUS FARE.Copy !req
266. FARE?Copy !req
267. THIS AIN'T A FREE RIDE,
LITTLE MAN.Copy !req
268. YOU NEED MONEY.Copy !req
269. YOU EXPECT ME
TO PAY TO BE ON
THIS FILTHY MACHINE?Copy !req
270. HAVE YOU
THE BRAIN WORMS?Copy !req
271. AAAHHH!Copy !req
272. FINE! I DON'T NEED
YOUR BUS!Copy !req
273. I WILL USE THE POWER
OF YOUR SUN TO FIND MY WAY.Copy !req
274. WEIRDO.Copy !req
275. ARE WE GONNA RIDE
THE SUN HOME?Copy !req
276. NO, GIR!Copy !req
277. I CAN USE THE EARTH'S SUN
TO DETERMINE WHICH
DIRECTION IS WEST.Copy !req
278. THE EARTH'S SUN ALWAYS
SETS IN THE WEST.Copy !req
279. NOW, WATCH ME AMAZE YOU.Copy !req
280. HMM! MM-MM.Copy !req
281. MMMM.Copy !req
282. WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
283. I'M BLIND!Copy !req
284. NO! NO NO!Copy !req
285. AH! AH! NO!Copy !req
286. THEY'VE BOOBY TRAPPED
THEIR SUN SOMEHOW!Copy !req
287. A MINOR SETBACK,
GIR.Copy !req
288. WE'LL BE HOME
IN NO TIME.Copy !req
289. I'LL JUST WAIT
UNTIL THE SKIN GROWS
BACK ON MY EYEBALLS.Copy !req
290. GIR!Copy !req
291. I CAN SEE.Copy !req
292. I CAN SEE!Copy !req
293. NOW WE CAN FIGURE OUT
HOW TO ESCAPE THIS
FILTHY PLACE.Copy !req
294. GET A JOB, YOU BUM!Copy !req
295. THAT'S IT!
IF WE CAN FIND A JOB,Copy !req
296. WE CAN MAKE MONEY.Copy !req
297. WITH THIS MONEY,Copy !req
298. WE CAN RIDE THE BUS.Copy !req
299. I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU,
CITY.Copy !req
300. YOU WON'T MAKE A FOOL
OF THIS IRKEN INVADER!Copy !req
301. I'M GONNA
EAT A RAT!Copy !req
302. FINALLY,
WE ARE HEADING HOME.Copy !req
303. I SMELL DOOKIE.Copy !req
304. EEK.Copy !req
305. I CANNOT STAY
ON THIS BUS ANY LONGER!Copy !req
306. FREAK.Copy !req
307. WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THESE PEOPLE?Copy !req
308. THIS PLACE IS JUST
BEGGING TO BE DESTROYED.Copy !req
309. WOO! I LIKE
DESTROYING.Copy !req
310. GIR... I HAVE A PLAN.Copy !req
311. OCULAR IMPLANTS ARE
STANDARD INVADER ISSUE.Copy !req
312. FROM THE TOP
OF THAT BUILDING,Copy !req
313. MY INCREDIBLE EYES
SHOULD BE ABLECopy !req
314. TO SPOT OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.Copy !req
315. COME ON.Copy !req
316. 'KAY.Copy !req
317. ICE CREAM!Copy !req
318. SOMEBODY BUY IT!Copy !req
319. ICE CREAM.
I GOT ICE CREAM.Copy !req
320. OH!Copy !req
321. IT'S HIM!Copy !req
322. HEY, THAT'S THE GUY!Copy !req
323. AND HE'S BACK FOR...Copy !req
324. MOOOOORE...!Copy !req
325. GET HIM!Copy !req
326. AAAHHH!Copy !req
327. AAAHHH!Copy !req
328. OK, NOW, WHERE DO
WE GO FROM HERE?Copy !req
329. THERE! THAT LOOKS
ABOUT RIGHT.Copy !req
330. NOW, GIR, USE YOUR
JETS TO FLY US HOME.Copy !req
331. YES, SIR!Copy !req
332. AAAAAAHHHHH!Copy !req
333. WHAT HAPPENED?
HOW DID YOU RUN OUT
OF FUEL THAT QUICKLY?Copy !req
334. I EMPTIED IT OUT.Copy !req
335. EMPTIED IT? WHY?Copy !req
336. TO MAKE ROOM
FOR THE TUNA.Copy !req
337. OK.Copy !req
338. HEY!Copy !req
339. WHERE TO?Copy !req
340. YOU THINK
I WON'T BE READY.Copy !req
341. BUT YOU'RE WRONG,
PRESUMPTUOUS CAB-BEAST.Copy !req
342. I HAVE PREPARED MYSELF
FOR THIS MOMENT,Copy !req
343. AND IT HAS PAID OFF
IN FULL!Copy !req
344. YOU SEE, THE INVADERS
LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES,Copy !req
345. HOWEVER RARE
THEY MAY BE.Copy !req
346. NOW, HUMAN,
TAKE ME TO—THAT WAY!Copy !req
347. AND QUICKLY.Copy !req
348. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,Copy !req
349. I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO GO HOME!Copy !req
350. BY
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
AND NICKELODEONCopy !req
351. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
—www.ncicap.org—Copy !req