1. Yo! You're too slow.
Isaac, Tootie, get him out of here.Copy !req
2. But you don't understand,
I'm the Executive Producer of this show.Copy !req
3. We got a thing goin'
on here. I don't know...Copy !req
4. He's cool, he's cool.
Leave him.Copy !req
5. All right, so anyway, the chicken
crossed the road, right?Copy !req
6. Anybody know why the chicken
crossed the road?Copy !req
7. To get to the other side.Copy !req
8. Look, uh, Shawn, we got
a show to do, okay? Can we...Copy !req
9. Wait a minute.Copy !req
10. He says you're needed
on some show.Copy !req
11. Mr. 1 says "chill."
He'll be up there when he's ready.Copy !req
12. Oh, well, you tell Mr. 1...Copy !req
13. that sooner or later he's gonna
have to go home with me.Copy !req
14. Now he's ready.Copy !req
15. Bye, Shawn.Copy !req
16. See you after the show.Copy !req
17. - Ladies and gentlemen, SW1.Copy !req
18. We're very close
to signing Paula Abdul.Copy !req
19. It would be quite a coup.Copy !req
20. Oh, this is it, homey.
This is the green room.Copy !req
21. Is Madonna down here somewhere?Copy !req
22. I'm Madonna's manager.
She's on stage. Can I help you?Copy !req
23. The man himself.
Look here, homey.Copy !req
24. I'm Clavell.Copy !req
25. Now I know Madonna must have
mentioned me because we go way back.Copy !req
26. My cousin Boudreau delivered some flowers
to her guesthouse one time last year.Copy !req
27. Now look here. I heard Madonna's
been in town for a week...Copy !req
28. and she hasn't called me, you know?Copy !req
29. - Well, Madonna's very busy.
- Say what?Copy !req
30. Well, we all know how that can be.
I'm Howard Tipps III.Copy !req
31. I manage a group called Satern.
That's with an "E." S-A-T-E-R-N.Copy !req
32. Now I used to manage
a group called Stratus.Copy !req
33. Had to fire 10 horns,
but we got nine left.Copy !req
34. But here's the kicker.
We hired a brand-new bass player...Copy !req
35. Polynesian cat from Detroit.Copy !req
36. Funky as he wanna be.Copy !req
37. Let me give you one of our cards.
You know, I'm fresh out. Howard.Copy !req
38. Bam!Copy !req
39. All right now.
Check this out.Copy !req
40. Don't pay any attention
to the drapes and fixtures, all right?Copy !req
41. My number's here on the back, all right?
I'm stayin' with Moms.Copy !req
42. Don't call after 11:00 p.m.
Not that you couldn't...Copy !req
43. but it's a respect
type of thing, all right?Copy !req
44. That's great. Uh, if you'll excuse me,
I'm supposed to meet Tina Turner upstairs.Copy !req
45. Is Lil T in town,
'cause she hasn't called me, you know?Copy !req
46. Ike hasn't called either,
but that's another story, another life.Copy !req
47. - Stop it!
- Great. Uh, see you later.Copy !req
48. When my hair gets straighter.Copy !req
49. Hello, Sunshine.Copy !req
50. You know, I didn't know
angels could fly so low.Copy !req
51. Clavey, give me a shot of insulin,
'cause I'm about to go into sugar shock.Copy !req
52. Girl, you are the sweetest thing.Copy !req
53. Howard Tipps III.
That's spelled three-R-D.Copy !req
54. And I'm Clavell, that's with a "C."Copy !req
55. Let me give you one of my calling cards.
You know, I'm fresh out. Howard.Copy !req
56. Bam!Copy !req
57. All right, now, check this out.Copy !req
58. Pay no attention to that sign language
stuff on the front, all right?Copy !req
59. 'Cause that's not what
we're all about, okay?Copy !req
60. But, look here, not that
we ain't down with the deaf. Get it?Copy !req
61. Now, this is B.D.'s beeper number, all right?
You can call me anytime.Copy !req
62. I don't think my husband
would approve.Copy !req
63. Bam! In reverse!Copy !req
64. Not that we're cheap
or anything like that.Copy !req
65. But it's about that whole
big recycling thing, you know?Copy !req
66. Excuse me.Copy !req
67. - Salmon!
- Cakes.Copy !req
68. Ahh!Copy !req
69. Excuse me, are you
in this agent business?Copy !req
70. - Actually, I'm a film producer.
- Right.Copy !req
71. Ain't that a blip?
'Scuse me, but we are too.Copy !req
72. You probably heard of us...
Funky Finger Productions.Copy !req
73. You know our callin' card,
the scratch and sniff one.Copy !req
74. - N-No, I haven't heard of you guys.
- Well, look.Copy !req
75. I'm on the creative end
and Clavey handles the business.Copy !req
76. He's got a lot of experience... Amway,
Herbal Life and, dig this, Dick Gregory.Copy !req
77. We gots to be down with the brothers,
you know what I'm sayin'.Copy !req
78. But here's the kicker.
You remember them little sea monkeys?Copy !req
79. I'm gonna bring 'em back, homey, only this
time I'm puttin' little cowboy hats on 'em.Copy !req
80. - What does that have to do
with producing movies?
- You don't get it, huh?Copy !req
81. We take the profits from the sea monkeys
and dump 'em into our movie.Copy !req
82. Now, look here.
Already shot the trailer.Copy !req
83. Bam!Copy !req
84. Calm yourself. This is on camcorder,
but this sucker really cooks.Copy !req
85. Now, look here.
We call this Penitentiary Four.Copy !req
86. But dig it, you put your ducats down,
call it anything you want!Copy !req
87. 'Scuse me, baby. I'm sorry.Copy !req
88. Oh, look here, this is a problem.
The lens cap was on.Copy !req
89. All right, you ready?Copy !req
90. Clavey, let me finish up frying up
this here baloney, all right?Copy !req
91. How many times I've got to tell you I'm on
a budget? Now go ahead on and start.Copy !req
92. - Oh, right.
- All right, go ahead. Kick it.Copy !req
93. - Give it up, y'all.
- Action. That's action, Clavey.Copy !req
94. Oh, l-I'm sorry. Actionini.Copy !req
95. Here we go. Now, I been in
this penitentiary three times already...Copy !req
96. so I guess that makes this
Penitentiary Four.Copy !req
97. - Now what's that booger
on the side of yo cheek?
- That's a scar.Copy !req
98. And lookin'good too. Sorry. Now, tell me
one more thing. What's this button here do?Copy !req
99. Now that spells big bucks.
What do you say?Copy !req
100. Oh, you-you speechless?
Well, let me give you the kicker.Copy !req
101. Look here. What we tryin' to do is kinda
combine Blacula meets Coffy.Copy !req
102. Now you know what that spells...
more ducats in the hip pocket!Copy !req
103. - You know?
- Excuse me, I gotta go.Copy !req
104. - He's not down.
- Well, his loss, our gain.Copy !req
105. - Dig that.
- Those are the guys.Copy !req
106. Hey, y'all, party over here!Copy !req
107. I told you Madonna
would be down with us.Copy !req
108. You, guys? Weren't you in
Sister Sledge's green room yesterday?Copy !req
109. - Oh, yes.
- Oh, is the Sister in town,
'cause she hasn't called me!Copy !req
110. Look here. You're probably here
to move my Torino.Copy !req
111. Now this key is for
my crib in El Segundo.Copy !req
112. It's in foreclosure, but that
ain't nothin' but a business deal.Copy !req
113. - Give him a card, homey.
- Bam!Copy !req
114. At this season's
international fashion show in Paris...Copy !req
115. Iraqi fashion designer
Macbar Al Fakar...Copy !req
116. took top honors but also
his life in his own hands...Copy !req
117. when he revealed his radical new line
updating traditional garments...Copy !req
118. which had not been altered
for thousands of years.Copy !req
119. This year, Fakar has taken
daring risks with hemlines...Copy !req
120. sometimes revealing
almost an entire ankle.Copy !req
121. The beauty of Fakar's designs
is that they can be worn anywhere.Copy !req
122. Actually, Fakar explained
they must be worn everywhere...Copy !req
123. at all times, according to law.Copy !req
124. Fakar also gave
a tantalizing preview...Copy !req
125. of what they'll be wearing on
the Iraqi beaches this season.Copy !req
126. That is, what they would be wearing
if they were allowed on the beaches.Copy !req
127. The designs of Macbar Al Fakar...Copy !req
128. keeping Iraqi women one step ahead,
but always three steps behind the men.Copy !req
129. This is Elsa Klutch with another
Style Minute for Fox News, Paris.Copy !req
130. - You know, we do whatever
we do to survive, brother.
- Drop it.!Copy !req
131. Children, the first act
was simply wonderful, wonderful.Copy !req
132. Just be sure to speak clearly, okay?
And Edna Louise?Copy !req
133. Edna Louise, you come away from that
fire alarm for the fifth time today!Copy !req
134. - Mrs. Keegan, I cannot possibly play the sheep!
- Why not?Copy !req
135. - Because I have an ocasa
calack adilelaaaa phobia.
- Ooh! What's that?Copy !req
136. It's a fear of wearing a stupid
old, smelly sheep costume...Copy !req
137. when you really should
have been a princess.Copy !req
138. Okay, well, if you're not feeling well, I guess
we'll just have to call your mother then.Copy !req
139. Oh, you know something.
It's amazing! I'm cured!Copy !req
140. Parnell, there'll be
no more spitting from you.Copy !req
141. I'm not spitting! I happen to have
a severe alignment problem...Copy !req
142. that makes it difficult for me
to contain my saliva.Copy !req
143. Yeah! In other words,
you've got Bucky Beaver bite!Copy !req
144. I do not, Edna!Copy !req
145. Edna Louise, you stop it!Copy !req
146. - Okay, mean old witch.
- What did you say?Copy !req
147. I said, " Whatever you wish,
Your Royal Highness."Copy !req
148. Children, we have five more minutes, okay,
so if you have to go, go now.Copy !req
149. - Go where?
- To the bathroom.Copy !req
150. Made you look, made you stare,
made you eat your underwear.Copy !req
151. Oh, you shut up, Edna Louise.Copy !req
152. Hey, you know what, Tammy?
I'll gonna do you this big favor, see.Copy !req
153. I'll let you be the beautiful sheep
and I'll just be the dumb old princess.Copy !req
154. - Go away evil, ugly Edna.
I don't wanna be a stupid sheep.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
155. - Well, I know a secret about you.
- No, you don't!Copy !req
156. - Yes, I do!
- No, you don't!Copy !req
157. Yes, I do! Infinity!
You're adopted!Copy !req
158. I am not!Copy !req
159. - Yes, you are!
- No, I'm not.!Copy !req
160. Yes, you are! I saw your picture on...
America's Most Adopted.Copy !req
161. And, um, and if you go out there,
the whole audience will recognize you...Copy !req
162. and, uh, see, if you're the sheep
then they won't see you.Copy !req
163. You shut up, Edna Louise!
That's not true!Copy !req
164. Hey, don't take it so hard.Copy !req
165. - Ha ha ha, Edna.
- You.Copy !req
166. - I told you.
- Nobody wants to...Copy !req
167. You better stop...
You're never gonna...Copy !req
168. Parnell, how many times have
I told you that's impolite.Copy !req
169. She was the one.Copy !req
170. And you, miss, you better learn
how to behave yourself.Copy !req
171. - Whatever you say, pruneface.
- What did you say?Copy !req
172. I said, " Oh, wow,
I love the human race!"Copy !req
173. Children! We have about
five more minutes.Copy !req
174. We're getting ready to start the show
right now. Please come in.Copy !req
175. Baa! Baa!Copy !req
176. I am the beautiful princess...Copy !req
177. and... and I'm adopted!Copy !req
178. Aha! You evil witch...Copy !req
179. your plan has been foiled!Copy !req
180. And I, the true princess
of the kingdom...Copy !req
181. must come here
to claim my love...Copy !req
182. Farmer Brown...
played by Parnell.Copy !req
183. Hey, uh, Parnell, you're on.Copy !req
184. Way to go, Barfasaurus!Copy !req
185. - Oh, my true love...
- You're wreckin' the whole production.Copy !req
186. Parnell, just say your lines.Copy !req
187. I am a farmer...Copy !req
188. and I have come to-to, uh...Copy !req
189. - I've traveled very far.
- I've traveled very far, 'cause...Copy !req
190. Now I must kiss
the beautiful princess, Edna Louise.Copy !req
191. Now I must kiss the beautiful prin...
Hey, I'm not supposed to say that.Copy !req
192. - Yuck!Copy !req
193. What'd you do that for,
Edna-Pedna-big-fat-Nedna?Copy !req
194. 'Cause I'm in love with you!Copy !req
195. That's the grossest, most vomit-like thing
that's ever happened. You are a vomitore.Copy !req
196. Yuck! I kissed a sheep!Copy !req
197. But, alas! I am not a sheep.Copy !req
198. I am a princess in sheep's clothing.
It's a miracle!Copy !req
199. They all lived...
They all lived happily ever after.Copy !req
200. - The end!
- Edna Louise!Copy !req
201. Thank you.Copy !req
202. Edna Louise, you come away
from that fire alarm!Copy !req
203. the at-home workout
with Vera de Milo.Copy !req
204. Hi, I'm Vera de Milo.
And thanks for tuning in.Copy !req
205. You know, before I learned
how to exercise properly...Copy !req
206. I was a poor excuse for a woman.Copy !req
207. Just look at those unsightly lumps of lard
protruding from my sternum.Copy !req
208. I was so weak and frail back then.Copy !req
209. I couldn't even tear
a telephone book in half.Copy !req
210. But I made that change
and you can too.Copy !req
211. So, let's get busy burning off
those bothersome bazooms.Copy !req
212. Girls, are you ready?Copy !req
213. All righty.Copy !req
214. Okay, now you try.Copy !req
215. See how those big breasts
just weigh them down?Copy !req
216. I'm tellin' ya, you can't float
'til you get rid of those sinkers.Copy !req
217. And now the shoulders.Copy !req
218. Come on, girls.
Oh, yeah, that's right.Copy !req
219. Uh-uh, that's right.Copy !req
220. Now, this one.
Just pull it and pull it.Copy !req
221. Really pull it. Really...Copy !req
222. Oh, wow!Copy !req
223. That's gonna be sore in the morning,
but it hurts so good.Copy !req
224. And you know what they say...
"No pain, no gain."Copy !req
225. Now, before attempting
any serious lifting...Copy !req
226. I can't stress enough the importance
of eating a healthy breakfast.Copy !req
227. Of course, I prefer mine
in concentrated form.Copy !req
228. Another advantage
of my at-home workout...Copy !req
229. is that there's no need
for investing in costly weight sets.Copy !req
230. With just a little imagination...Copy !req
231. a few hefty household appliances
will do just as well.Copy !req
232. Deidre, the secret to a strong,
flat championship chest...Copy !req
233. is breast bombardment
with maximum weight.Copy !req
234. Are you ready?Copy !req
235. - All righty!Copy !req
236. That's the spirit!
Show those mammaries no mercy!Copy !req
237. Hey, kids, it's time
for Vera's vanity table.Copy !req
238. You know, some women spend a lot
of money on lipsticks and glosses...Copy !req
239. to make their lips look fuller.Copy !req
240. I say you can get
the same effect naturally...Copy !req
241. with a nice, hot curling iron.Copy !req
242. - Watch.Copy !req
243. Of course, it helps to have
a high pain threshold.Copy !req
244. But believe me, when these babies
start to blister, look out Michelle Pfeiffer!Copy !req
245. Till next time... toodle-oo.Copy !req
246. Yo! Yo! Yo!Copy !req
247. - What's up?
- What time it is?Copy !req
248. - Yo!
- Yo! Welcome to the Homeboys
Shoppin' Network!Copy !req
249. That's right. I'm Wiz,
this is the Ice Man.Copy !req
250. Chillin'!Copy !req
251. That's right. Boy, we made
the big move to the woods.Copy !req
252. Hollywood, that is.Copy !req
253. Word! Now you seen it on TV
and thanks to us...Copy !req
254. you too can enjoy the lifestyles
of the rich and famous.Copy !req
255. That's right! For only $19.95...Copy !req
256. not only will you get maps
to the stars' homes...Copy !req
257. but blueprints and floor plans
of their security systems.Copy !req
258. And, as an added bonus...Copy !req
259. we'll throw in this here
key to the city.Copy !req
260. Yo! With this two-way
steel master key...Copy !req
261. no doors will be closed to you...
windows neither.Copy !req
262. That's right.
Show 'em the other stuff.Copy !req
263. - What other stuff?
- All that other stuff.Copy !req
264. - All right.
- Who says you gotta be in film to get an Oscar?Copy !req
265. Not anymore.Copy !req
266. That's right. Use any sharp object
to engrave your name here...Copy !req
267. - Bam!
- Then put it on the shelf...Copy !req
268. - Bip!
- The hood of your car...Copy !req
269. Or be the envy of your neighborhood
by wearin' this as a funky fresh medallion.Copy !req
270. There you go.Copy !req
271. But wait, wait, wait.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.Copy !req
272. - You say "Homeboy."
- What?Copy !req
273. - I say "Homeboy."
- What?Copy !req
274. - I say "Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Homeboy."
- What?Copy !req
275. - How can I have my picture taken with a star?
- Say it.Copy !req
276. No problem.Copy !req
277. I'm talkin' about a real star.Copy !req
278. No problem.
We got him right here in the bag.Copy !req
279. Help! Help!
Somebody help me!Copy !req
280. - You better hurry up.
- 'Cause this one puttin' up a major fight.Copy !req
281. - Stop!Copy !req
282. Yo! Takin' pictures
with the stars can be fun...Copy !req
283. - but let me ask you this, Wiz.
- Yes, Ice?Copy !req
284. How can I share some of that
there celebrity-type wealth?Copy !req
285. I'm glad you asked.Copy !req
286. - Simply get yourself a cut-out
of your favorite star...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
287. Put him in a compromising position...Copy !req
288. then snap away.Copy !req
289. I guess Bo knows cross-dressin' too.Copy !req
290. Now you sell this here photo
to the National Enquirer...Copy !req
291. or just blackmail the celebrity himself.Copy !req
292. Either way you slice it...Copy !req
293. You two, down there, freeze.!
Stop what you're doing.!Copy !req
294. Sounds like Beverly Hills Cops 2.Copy !req
295. - Well, you know what that means.
- It's showtime.Copy !req
296. That's right.
We'll see you next week.Copy !req
297. - Same time, different star.
- Peace!Copy !req
298. We'll see you next week.
Good night.Copy !req