1. ddCopy !req
2. Yo! You're too slow.
Isaac, Tootie, get him out of here.Copy !req
3. But you don't understand,
I'm the Executive Producer of this show.Copy !req
4. We got a thing goin'
on here. I don't know...Copy !req
5. He's cool, he's cool.
Leave him.Copy !req
6. All right, so anyway, the chicken
crossed the road, right?Copy !req
7. Anybody know why the chicken
crossed the road?Copy !req
8. To get to the other side.Copy !req
9. Look, uh, Shawn, we got
a show to do, okay? Can we...Copy !req
10. Wait a minute.Copy !req
11. He says you're needed
on some show.Copy !req
12. Mr. 1 says "chill."
He'll be up there when he's ready.Copy !req
13. Oh, well, you tell Mr. 1...Copy !req
14. that sooner or later he's gonna
have to go home with me.Copy !req
15. Now he's ready.Copy !req
16. Bye, Shawn.Copy !req
17. See you after the show.Copy !req
18. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
19. d In living colordCopy !req
20. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
21. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
22. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
23. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
24. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
25. - d Take it from me it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
26. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
27. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
28. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
29. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
30. d In living colordCopy !req
31. d In living colordCopy !req
32. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
33. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
34. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
35. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
36. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
37. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
38. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
39. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
40. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
41. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
42. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
43. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
44. - d Take it from me it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
45. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colorddCopy !req
46. - Ladies and gentlemen, SW1.Copy !req
47. We're very close
to signing Paula Abdul.Copy !req
48. It would be quite a coup.Copy !req
49. Oh, this is it, homey.
This is the green room.Copy !req
50. Is Madonna down here somewhere?Copy !req
51. I'm Madonna's manager.
She's on stage. Can I help you?Copy !req
52. The man himself.
Look here, homey.Copy !req
53. I'm Clavell.Copy !req
54. Now I know Madonna must have
mentioned me because we go way back.Copy !req
55. My cousin Boudreau delivered some flowers
to her guesthouse one time last year.Copy !req
56. Now look here. I heard Madonna's
been in town for a week...Copy !req
57. and she hasn't called me, you know?Copy !req
58. - Well, Madonna's very busy.
- Say what?Copy !req
59. Well, we all know how that can be.
I'm Howard Tipps III.Copy !req
60. I manage a group called Satern.
That's with an "E." S-A-T-E-R-N.Copy !req
61. Now I used to manage
a group called Stratus.Copy !req
62. Had to fire 10 horns,
but we got nine left.Copy !req
63. But here's the kicker.
We hired a brand-new bass player...Copy !req
64. Polynesian cat from Detroit.Copy !req
65. Funky as he wanna be.Copy !req
66. Let me give you one of our cards.
You know, I'm fresh out. Howard.Copy !req
67. Bam!Copy !req
68. All right now.
Check this out.Copy !req
69. Don't pay any attention
to the drapes and fixtures, all right?Copy !req
70. My number's here on the back, all right?
I'm stayin' with Moms.Copy !req
71. Don't call after 11:00 p.m.
Not that you couldn't...Copy !req
72. but it's a respect
type of thing, all right?Copy !req
73. That's great. Uh, if you'll excuse me,
I'm supposed to meet Tina Turner upstairs.Copy !req
74. Is Lil T in town,
'cause she hasn't called me, you know?Copy !req
75. Ike hasn't called either,
but that's another story, another life.Copy !req
76. - Stop it!
- Great. Uh, see you later.Copy !req
77. When my hair gets straighter.Copy !req
78. Hello, Sunshine.Copy !req
79. You know, I didn't know
angels could fly so low.Copy !req
80. Clavey, give me a shot of insulin,
'cause I'm about to go into sugar shock.Copy !req
81. Girl, you are the sweetest thing.Copy !req
82. Howard Tipps III.
That's spelled three-R-D.Copy !req
83. And I'm Clavell, that's with a "C."Copy !req
84. Let me give you one of my calling cards.
You know, I'm fresh out. Howard.Copy !req
85. Bam!Copy !req
86. All right, now, check this out.Copy !req
87. Pay no attention to that sign language
stuff on the front, all right?Copy !req
88. 'Cause that's not what
we're all about, okay?Copy !req
89. But, look here, not that
we ain't down with the deaf. Get it?Copy !req
90. Now, this is B.D.'s beeper number, all right?
You can call me anytime.Copy !req
91. I don't think my husband
would approve.Copy !req
92. Bam! In reverse!Copy !req
93. Not that we're cheap
or anything like that.Copy !req
94. But it's about that whole
big recycling thing, you know?Copy !req
95. Excuse me.Copy !req
96. - Salmon!
- Cakes.Copy !req
97. Ahh!Copy !req
98. Excuse me, are you
in this agent business?Copy !req
99. - Actually, I'm a film producer.
- Right.Copy !req
100. Ain't that a blip?
'Scuse me, but we are too.Copy !req
101. You probably heard of us...
Funky Finger Productions.Copy !req
102. You know our callin' card,
the scratch and sniff one.Copy !req
103. - N-No, I haven't heard of you guys.
- Well, look.Copy !req
104. I'm on the creative end
and Clavey handles the business.Copy !req
105. He's got a lot of experience... Amway,
Herbal Life and, dig this, Dick Gregory.Copy !req
106. We gots to be down with the brothers,
you know what I'm sayin'.Copy !req
107. But here's the kicker.
You remember them little sea monkeys?Copy !req
108. I'm gonna bring 'em back, homey, only this
time I'm puttin' little cowboy hats on 'em.Copy !req
109. - What does that have to do
with producing movies?
- You don't get it, huh?Copy !req
110. We take the profits from the sea monkeys
and dump 'em into our movie.Copy !req
111. Now, look here.
Already shot the trailer.Copy !req
112. Bam!Copy !req
113. Calm yourself. This is on camcorder,
but this sucker really cooks.Copy !req
114. Now, look here.
We call this Penitentiary Four.Copy !req
115. But dig it, you put your ducats down,
call it anything you want!Copy !req
116. 'Scuse me, baby. I'm sorry.Copy !req
117. Oh, look here, this is a problem.
The lens cap was on.Copy !req
118. All right, you ready?Copy !req
119. Clavey, let me finish up frying up
this here baloney, all right?Copy !req
120. How many times I've got to tell you I'm on
a budget? Now go ahead on and start.Copy !req
121. - Oh, right.
- All right, go ahead. Kick it.Copy !req
122. - Give it up, y'all.
- Action. That's action, Clavey.Copy !req
123. Oh, l-I'm sorry. Actionini.Copy !req
124. Here we go. Now, I been in
this penitentiary three times already...Copy !req
125. so I guess that makes this
Penitentiary Four.Copy !req
126. - Now what's that booger
on the side of yo cheek?
- That's a scar.Copy !req
127. And lookin'good too. Sorry. Now, tell me
one more thing. What's this button here do?Copy !req
128. Now that spells big bucks.
What do you say?Copy !req
129. Oh, you-you speechless?
Well, let me give you the kicker.Copy !req
130. Look here. What we tryin' to do is kinda
combine Blacula meets Coffy.Copy !req
131. Now you know what that spells...
more ducats in the hip pocket!Copy !req
132. - You know?
- Excuse me, I gotta go.Copy !req
133. - He's not down.
- Well, his loss, our gain.Copy !req
134. - Dig that.
- Those are the guys.Copy !req
135. Hey, y'all, party over here!Copy !req
136. I told you Madonna
would be down with us.Copy !req
137. You, guys? Weren't you in
Sister Sledge's green room yesterday?Copy !req
138. - Oh, yes.
- Oh, is the Sister in town,
'cause she hasn't called me!Copy !req
139. Look here. You're probably here
to move my Torino.Copy !req
140. Now this key is for
my crib in El Segundo.Copy !req
141. It's in foreclosure, but that
ain't nothin' but a business deal.Copy !req
142. - Give him a card, homey.
- Bam!Copy !req
143. At this season's
international fashion show in Paris...Copy !req
144. Iraqi fashion designer
Macbar Al Fakar...Copy !req
145. took top honors but also
his life in his own hands...Copy !req
146. when he revealed his radical new line
updating traditional garments...Copy !req
147. which had not been altered
for thousands of years.Copy !req
148. This year, Fakar has taken
daring risks with hemlines...Copy !req
149. sometimes revealing
almost an entire ankle.Copy !req
150. The beauty of Fakar's designs
is that they can be worn anywhere.Copy !req
151. Actually, Fakar explained
they must be worn everywhere...Copy !req
152. at all times, according to law.Copy !req
153. Fakar also gave
a tantalizing preview...Copy !req
154. of what they'll be wearing on
the Iraqi beaches this season.Copy !req
155. That is, what they would be wearing
if they were allowed on the beaches.Copy !req
156. The designs of Macbar Al Fakar...Copy !req
157. keeping Iraqi women one step ahead,
but always three steps behind the men.Copy !req
158. This is Elsa Klutch with another
Style Minute for Fox News, Paris.Copy !req
159. - You know, we do whatever
we do to survive, brother.
- Drop it.!Copy !req
160. ddCopy !req
161. ddCopy !req
162. ddCopy !req
163. Children, the first act
was simply wonderful, wonderful.Copy !req
164. Just be sure to speak clearly, okay?
And Edna Louise?Copy !req
165. Edna Louise, you come away from that
fire alarm for the fifth time today!Copy !req
166. - Mrs. Keegan, I cannot possibly play the sheep!
- Why not?Copy !req
167. - Because I have an ocasa
calack adilelaaaa phobia.
- Ooh! What's that?Copy !req
168. It's a fear of wearing a stupid
old, smelly sheep costume...Copy !req
169. when you really should
have been a princess.Copy !req
170. Okay, well, if you're not feeling well, I guess
we'll just have to call your mother then.Copy !req
171. Oh, you know something.
It's amazing! I'm cured!Copy !req
172. Parnell, there'll be
no more spitting from you.Copy !req
173. I'm not spitting! I happen to have
a severe alignment problem...Copy !req
174. that makes it difficult for me
to contain my saliva.Copy !req
175. Yeah! In other words,
you've got Bucky Beaver bite!Copy !req
176. I do not, Edna!Copy !req
177. Edna Louise, you stop it!Copy !req
178. - Okay, mean old witch.
- What did you say?Copy !req
179. I said, " Whatever you wish,
Your Royal Highness."Copy !req
180. Children, we have five more minutes, okay,
so if you have to go, go now.Copy !req
181. - Go where?
- To the bathroom.Copy !req
182. Made you look, made you stare,
made you eat your underwear.Copy !req
183. Oh, you shut up, Edna Louise.Copy !req
184. Hey, you know what, Tammy?
I'll gonna do you this big favor, see.Copy !req
185. I'll let you be the beautiful sheep
and I'll just be the dumb old princess.Copy !req
186. - Go away evil, ugly Edna.
I don't wanna be a stupid sheep.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
187. - Well, I know a secret about you.
- No, you don't!Copy !req
188. - Yes, I do!
- No, you don't!Copy !req
189. Yes, I do! Infinity!
You're adopted!Copy !req
190. I am not!Copy !req
191. - Yes, you are!
- No, I'm not.!Copy !req
192. Yes, you are! I saw your picture on...
America's Most Adopted.Copy !req
193. And, um, and if you go out there,
the whole audience will recognize you...Copy !req
194. and, uh, see, if you're the sheep
then they won't see you.Copy !req
195. You shut up, Edna Louise!
That's not true!Copy !req
196. Hey, don't take it so hard.Copy !req
197. - Ha ha ha, Edna.
- You.Copy !req
198. - I told you.
- Nobody wants to...Copy !req
199. You better stop...
You're never gonna...Copy !req
200. Parnell, how many times have
I told you that's impolite.Copy !req
201. She was the one.Copy !req
202. And you, miss, you better learn
how to behave yourself.Copy !req
203. - Whatever you say, pruneface.
- What did you say?Copy !req
204. I said, " Oh, wow,
I love the human race!"Copy !req
205. Children! We have about
five more minutes.Copy !req
206. We're getting ready to start the show
right now. Please come in.Copy !req
207. ddCopy !req
208. Baa! Baa!Copy !req
209. I am the beautiful princess...Copy !req
210. and... and I'm adopted!Copy !req
211. Aha! You evil witch...Copy !req
212. your plan has been foiled!Copy !req
213. And I, the true princess
of the kingdom...Copy !req
214. must come here
to claim my love...Copy !req
215. Farmer Brown...
played by Parnell.Copy !req
216. Hey, uh, Parnell, you're on.Copy !req
217. Way to go, Barfasaurus!Copy !req
218. - Oh, my true love...
- You're wreckin' the whole production.Copy !req
219. Parnell, just say your lines.Copy !req
220. I am a farmer...Copy !req
221. and I have come to-to, uh...Copy !req
222. - I've traveled very far.
- I've traveled very far, 'cause...Copy !req
223. Now I must kiss
the beautiful princess, Edna Louise.Copy !req
224. Now I must kiss the beautiful prin...
Hey, I'm not supposed to say that.Copy !req
225. - Yuck!Copy !req
226. What'd you do that for,
Edna-Pedna-big-fat-Nedna?Copy !req
227. 'Cause I'm in love with you!Copy !req
228. That's the grossest, most vomit-like thing
that's ever happened. You are a vomitore.Copy !req
229. Yuck! I kissed a sheep!Copy !req
230. But, alas! I am not a sheep.Copy !req
231. I am a princess in sheep's clothing.
It's a miracle!Copy !req
232. They all lived...
They all lived happily ever after.Copy !req
233. - The end!
- Edna Louise!Copy !req
234. Thank you.Copy !req
235. Edna Louise, you come away
from that fire alarm!Copy !req
236. - dd
- It's time for
Buffed, Beautiful and Bitchin'...Copy !req
237. the at-home workout
with Vera de Milo.Copy !req
238. Hi, I'm Vera de Milo.
And thanks for tuning in.Copy !req
239. You know, before I learned
how to exercise properly...Copy !req
240. I was a poor excuse for a woman.Copy !req
241. Just look at those unsightly lumps of lard
protruding from my sternum.Copy !req
242. I was so weak and frail back then.Copy !req
243. I couldn't even tear
a telephone book in half.Copy !req
244. But I made that change
and you can too.Copy !req
245. So, let's get busy burning off
those bothersome bazooms.Copy !req
246. Girls, are you ready?Copy !req
247. All righty.Copy !req
248. - dd
- Let's start with a stretch... and down.Copy !req
249. Okay, now you try.Copy !req
250. See how those big breasts
just weigh them down?Copy !req
251. I'm tellin' ya, you can't float
'til you get rid of those sinkers.Copy !req
252. And now the shoulders.Copy !req
253. Come on, girls.
Oh, yeah, that's right.Copy !req
254. Uh-uh, that's right.Copy !req
255. Now, this one.
Just pull it and pull it.Copy !req
256. Really pull it. Really...Copy !req
257. Oh, wow!Copy !req
258. That's gonna be sore in the morning,
but it hurts so good.Copy !req
259. And you know what they say...
"No pain, no gain."Copy !req
260. Now, before attempting
any serious lifting...Copy !req
261. I can't stress enough the importance
of eating a healthy breakfast.Copy !req
262. Of course, I prefer mine
in concentrated form.Copy !req
263. Another advantage
of my at-home workout...Copy !req
264. is that there's no need
for investing in costly weight sets.Copy !req
265. With just a little imagination...Copy !req
266. a few hefty household appliances
will do just as well.Copy !req
267. Deidre, the secret to a strong,
flat championship chest...Copy !req
268. is breast bombardment
with maximum weight.Copy !req
269. Are you ready?Copy !req
270. - All righty!Copy !req
271. That's the spirit!
Show those mammaries no mercy!Copy !req
272. Hey, kids, it's time
for Vera's vanity table.Copy !req
273. You know, some women spend a lot
of money on lipsticks and glosses...Copy !req
274. to make their lips look fuller.Copy !req
275. I say you can get
the same effect naturally...Copy !req
276. with a nice, hot curling iron.Copy !req
277. - Watch.Copy !req
278. Of course, it helps to have
a high pain threshold.Copy !req
279. But believe me, when these babies
start to blister, look out Michelle Pfeiffer!Copy !req
280. Till next time... toodle-oo.Copy !req
281. ddCopy !req
282. d Come listen to the story
about the 'bros, Ice and Wiz dCopy !req
283. d Two homeboys from the streets
Who was always gettin'dissed dCopy !req
284. d They said California is
the place that's lookin'good dCopy !req
285. d So they found an empty truck
and they moved to Hollywood
Hills that is dCopy !req
286. d Tenderonies
and the fresh def cars ddCopy !req
287. Yo! Yo! Yo!Copy !req
288. - What's up?
- What time it is?Copy !req
289. - Yo!
- Yo! Welcome to the Homeboys
Shoppin' Network!Copy !req
290. That's right. I'm Wiz,
this is the Ice Man.Copy !req
291. Chillin'!Copy !req
292. That's right. Boy, we made
the big move to the woods.Copy !req
293. Hollywood, that is.Copy !req
294. Word! Now you seen it on TV
and thanks to us...Copy !req
295. you too can enjoy the lifestyles
of the rich and famous.Copy !req
296. That's right! For only $19.95...Copy !req
297. not only will you get maps
to the stars' homes...Copy !req
298. but blueprints and floor plans
of their security systems.Copy !req
299. And, as an added bonus...Copy !req
300. we'll throw in this here
key to the city.Copy !req
301. Yo! With this two-way
steel master key...Copy !req
302. no doors will be closed to you...
windows neither.Copy !req
303. That's right.
Show 'em the other stuff.Copy !req
304. - What other stuff?
- All that other stuff.Copy !req
305. - All right.
- Who says you gotta be in film to get an Oscar?Copy !req
306. Not anymore.Copy !req
307. That's right. Use any sharp object
to engrave your name here...Copy !req
308. - Bam!
- Then put it on the shelf...Copy !req
309. - Bip!
- The hood of your car...Copy !req
310. Or be the envy of your neighborhood
by wearin' this as a funky fresh medallion.Copy !req
311. There you go.Copy !req
312. But wait, wait, wait.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.Copy !req
313. - You say "Homeboy."
- What?Copy !req
314. - I say "Homeboy."
- What?Copy !req
315. - I say "Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Homeboy."
- What?Copy !req
316. - How can I have my picture taken with a star?
- Say it.Copy !req
317. No problem.Copy !req
318. I'm talkin' about a real star.Copy !req
319. No problem.
We got him right here in the bag.Copy !req
320. Help! Help!
Somebody help me!Copy !req
321. - You better hurry up.
- 'Cause this one puttin' up a major fight.Copy !req
322. - Stop!Copy !req
323. Yo! Takin' pictures
with the stars can be fun...Copy !req
324. - but let me ask you this, Wiz.
- Yes, Ice?Copy !req
325. How can I share some of that
there celebrity-type wealth?Copy !req
326. I'm glad you asked.Copy !req
327. - Simply get yourself a cut-out
of your favorite star...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
328. Put him in a compromising position...Copy !req
329. then snap away.Copy !req
330. I guess Bo knows cross-dressin' too.Copy !req
331. Now you sell this here photo
to the National Enquirer...Copy !req
332. or just blackmail the celebrity himself.Copy !req
333. Either way you slice it...Copy !req
334. You two, down there, freeze.!
Stop what you're doing.!Copy !req
335. Sounds like Beverly Hills Cops 2.Copy !req
336. - Well, you know what that means.
- It's showtime.Copy !req
337. That's right.
We'll see you next week.Copy !req
338. - Same time, different star.
- Peace!Copy !req
339. We'll see you next week.
Good night.Copy !req
340. d You can do
what you want to do ddCopy !req