1. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
2. d In living colordCopy !req
3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
4. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
5. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
8. - d Take it from me, it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
11. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
12. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
13. d In living colordCopy !req
14. d In living colordCopy !req
15. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
16. d In living colordCopy !req
17. d In living colordCopy !req
18. d Everybody here is equally kind dCopy !req
19. d Everybody here is equally kind dCopy !req
20. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
21. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
22. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
23. d In living c-c-colordCopy !req
24. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
25. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
26. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
27. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
28. - d Take it from me, it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
29. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colorddCopy !req
30. Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenen Ivory Wayans.Copy !req
31. Thank you.
Welcome to the show.Copy !req
32. - We're gonna have a fun show tonight.Copy !req
33. Stop it! There he is!
The man in charge.Copy !req
34. Hey, black strong. Give me a hug, man.
Good to see you.Copy !req
35. You're doing dynamite work on this
little thing you're doing right here.Copy !req
36. You don't remember me.
1978, Rahway State Prison.Copy !req
37. Fred Williamson film retrospective.
I was running the projector.Copy !req
38. Don't ask what I was doing there.
Another career.Copy !req
39. All right. You might remember me
from Hartford, Connecticut...Copy !req
40. - where we had Ronnie Dyson's party.
- No.Copy !req
41. Well, anyway, right now I'm managing
a group called Stratus.Copy !req
42. There's 19 horns and the rest are drums.
It's a new concept.Copy !req
43. We're doing a real hyped-up version
of Backstabbers.Copy !req
44. He ain't the only one in music.
I got a new single out.Copy !req
45. Enough said, you know?
Look here.Copy !req
46. I got a quick thing for you. How can two
young, black, strong brothers like myself...Copy !req
47. get into this
funky business you do?Copy !req
48. Wrote a couple scripts,
and here's a videotape.Copy !req
49. - Go ahead and look at it, brother.
- Give him a business card.Copy !req
50. You know, I'm fresh out.Copy !req
51. - You know I got one. Bam!
- All right!Copy !req
52. Don't pay any attention to the name
that's on the front, all right?Copy !req
53. But my number is in purple
right there. You see that?Copy !req
54. - This one in crayon?
- Right. I'm at my mom's house now.Copy !req
55. You can reach me on Boo Boo's beeper.
That's the number.Copy !req
56. - Say, "Keenen's calling."
- Listen, I gotta get on the show.Copy !req
57. You know, I have a flat. You have a jack
I can borrow just a minute?Copy !req
58. And also, wouldn't nobody validate
my parking. Ain't that a blip?Copy !req
59. - Excuse me!
- Ain't that something?Copy !req
60. - I think I can help both of you.
- Somebody told me about an after-party.Copy !req
61. - We're trying to boogie.
- These people will escort you there.Copy !req
62. - Security.
- All right!Copy !req
63. Listen, Keenen, keep it up, man.
All right!Copy !req
64. KYYTnow presents
a minority affairs program, Black Like You.Copy !req
65. Here are your hosts,
Tom and Tom...Copy !req
66. the Brothers Brothers.Copy !req
67. All righty! Why, thank you.Copy !req
68. - How are ya? I'm Tom.
- Howdy.Copy !req
69. We're delighted to host
this very worthwhile show.Copy !req
70. - What do you say, Tom?
- That's right, Tom.Copy !req
71. In fact, we've written
a very special song just for this show.Copy !req
72. - Well, let's kick it off, brother.
- Shall we?Copy !req
73. ddCopy !req
74. d Problems and blacks
seem to go hand in hand dCopy !req
75. d Wherever they roam
in this glorious land dCopy !req
76. d We'll help them with customs
We'll help them with laws dCopy !req
77. d And we'll try to solve
all the problems they cause ddCopy !req
78. - All righty.Copy !req
79. - Oh, stop it. Stop it!Copy !req
80. All righty. Well, let's
get started, shall we?Copy !req
81. Yes, we certainly shall.Copy !req
82. Today's guest is a young man who says he was
sent to prison for a crime he didn't commit.Copy !req
83. Yeah, right.Copy !req
84. Well, let's meet him anyway.
Say hello to Mr. Rajeem Carter.Copy !req
85. Come on out, Rajeem.Copy !req
86. What's happening, brothers?Copy !req
87. Is that some sort of
karate move there?Copy !req
88. Well, what's happening
is we're doing a show.Copy !req
89. So, I mean, let's just
cut right to the chase, Raj.Copy !req
90. - Right to it.
- Yeah. What is your beef?Copy !req
91. All right, first of all,
I want to say how glad I am...Copy !req
92. that there's finally a show where
we brothers can discuss things.Copy !req
93. - Oh, your brother's here? Where's your brother?
- Bring your brother out.Copy !req
94. - Come on out here.
- I didn't see him backstage.Copy !req
95. Yo, yo, man, yo!
I'm talking about us three brothers.Copy !req
96. I think you're kind of confused.
We're the Brothers Brothers.Copy !req
97. You're a black guy who came
to complain about something.Copy !req
98. Man, I'm not here complaining, see.Copy !req
99. I just want people to know
how the Man screwed me up.Copy !req
100. - The man? What man?
- The man? What man?Copy !req
101. You know, the Man...
Mr. Charlie, Bobo.Copy !req
102. His legal system
has railroaded me, brother.Copy !req
103. Well, there's your problem.
Mr. Charlie Bobo's legal firm...Copy !req
104. hardly sounds like
a reputable one to me.Copy !req
105. I mean, never trust a man
with the last name "Bobo."Copy !req
106. I mean, would you buy a home
from Louie Bobo?Copy !req
107. I sure wouldn't.Copy !req
108. Say what?Copy !req
109. - What.
- What.Copy !req
110. Y'all don't even understand, man.Copy !req
111. The police arrested me for no reason.Copy !req
112. - Come on!
- Oh, come on. The police don't do that.Copy !req
113. They're your friends.
They're here to protect and serve.Copy !req
114. Well, my friends dragged me
out my crib butt naked.Copy !req
115. Well, gosh darn it,
what the heck were you doing...Copy !req
116. butt naked in the baby's crib?Copy !req
117. Man, don't y'all understand?
Man, I went to prison for eight years...Copy !req
118. and the only thing I learned
was how to resole shoes.Copy !req
119. Well, gosh darn it, you should be
darn happy that you learned a trade.Copy !req
120. - You're darn tootin'.
- A trade?Copy !req
121. Man, nobody wants to get
their shoes resoled anymore.Copy !req
122. - That's not true.
- Well, heck, I've got a few pair backstage.Copy !req
123. You can start on them
right after the show.Copy !req
124. You can even shine 'em for me.Copy !req
125. Shine shoes? Now, what kind
of a Tom do you think I am?Copy !req
126. - There you go again.
- I think he's confused. We're the Toms.Copy !req
127. - You're the angry black guy.
- Right.Copy !req
128. You got that right.
You're the biggest Toms I ever seen.Copy !req
129. - Why, thank you.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
130. I've been working out
a little at the gym.Copy !req
131. - Well, actually, Tom Brokaw is bigger than us.
- Yeah, he is.Copy !req
132. I guess it's obvious.
Y'all guys, you can't relate to this at all.Copy !req
133. Man, I suffered in the joint.Copy !req
134. Hey, hey, hey! You don't give us
that doohickey nonsense, mister.Copy !req
135. - That's right. I'll say "doohickey" again...
- Hey, Tom, take it easy.Copy !req
136. 'Cause I'm outraged!Copy !req
137. Doohickey, darn it, heck!Copy !req
138. Now, I want you to know
suffering, mister.Copy !req
139. When you talk to Tom and Tom,
we know suffering.Copy !req
140. Tell him about the time
in Tahoe, mister.Copy !req
141. We flew to Tahoe for
a work engagement, mind you.Copy !req
142. We had reservations,
a confirmation number and got there...Copy !req
143. and only one of our rooms
were available.Copy !req
144. - We had to share it.
- And needless to say...Copy !req
145. that we were pretty upset
behind that.Copy !req
146. I had to call my mom.Copy !req
147. Lucky it was a suite, huh?Copy !req
148. Y'all don't even know
what time it is, do you?Copy !req
149. - Sure I do. 7:25.
- Sure I do. 7:25.Copy !req
150. I guess you're on C.P. Time.Copy !req
151. - Can we get away with that?Copy !req
152. So I suppose y'all think I'm supposed
to just move out into the suburbs, man...Copy !req
153. get a nose job,
marry some white woman...Copy !req
154. buy a BMW
and just totally sell out, right?Copy !req
155. - That's the spirit!
- Yeah. Maybe you want to put a brim on that hat.Copy !req
156. Forget y'all!Copy !req
157. Well, I guess we showed him how to
look at things on the brighter side.Copy !req
158. I think we certainly have.Copy !req
159. - Tell you what, why don't we sing a song about it?
- All righty, brother.Copy !req
160. And you know
I mean fraternal.Copy !req
161. ddCopy !req
162. d When you're in trouble
just call 911 dCopy !req
163. d And right to your doorstep
the police will run dCopy !req
164. d But if they should cuff you
and give you a smack dCopy !req
165. d It's because
you're guilty dCopy !req
166. d Not 'cause you're black ddCopy !req
167. - Good-bye.
- Good night, everybody.Copy !req
168. Babaloo!Copy !req
169. ddCopy !req
170. You are strong, you are invincible,
you are woman.Copy !req
171. Welcome once again to the show
by, for and about women.Copy !req
172. Go on, girl!Copy !req
173. All right. I'm your host,
Shiwanda Harvey.Copy !req
174. Today's show is going to be
a little different.Copy !req
175. For the first time, we're going
to have men on Go On Girl.Copy !req
176. - Ooh.!
- Now hold on, sisters.Copy !req
177. These aren't your
typical worthless males.Copy !req
178. They're sensitive outcasts
from their gender.Copy !req
179. Let's have a big "Go on, boy"
for Gregory Miller and Lionel Baker.Copy !req
180. - Go on, boy.!
- All right.Copy !req
181. You two are a rare breed of men...Copy !req
182. almost worthy of sharing
this earth with us.Copy !req
183. All right. Gregory,
you wrote the book...Copy !req
184. The Man Who Hates
Men Who Hate Women.Copy !req
185. Tell me, who are
these men you hate?Copy !req
186. Well, Shiwanda, you know the type.Copy !req
187. The type of man that
picks up a woman, sleeps with her...Copy !req
188. and then splits around 2:00 a.m.Copy !req
189. - Go on, boy.
- Go on, boy.Copy !req
190. I figure, you know, why split?Copy !req
191. Stick around,
get some breakfast or something.Copy !req
192. Breakfast?Copy !req
193. I mean, of course,
I'd be cooking.Copy !req
194. Shiwanda, I don't know what kind of game
this guy is trying to play...Copy !req
195. but I think men who have sex
without commitment...Copy !req
196. are animals.Copy !req
197. - Go on, boy.!
- Go on, boy.Copy !req
198. Commitment, right.
I wasn't even thinking.Copy !req
199. You know, sometimes
I need a woman stronger than myself...Copy !req
200. to get me back on the right track.Copy !req
201. Oh. I'm strong like that.Copy !req
202. Go on, girl.!Copy !req
203. Fine, but a woman shouldn't
have to lead a man around by the...Copy !req
204. I mean, a man should take it
upon himself to wash the dishes...Copy !req
205. do the laundry
and the vacuuming if need be.Copy !req
206. - Go on, boy.!
- That's the kind of man I like.Copy !req
207. Well, how do you feel about a man
who takes care of children?Copy !req
208. Oh, yes. There's something about
a man holding dirty diapers in his hands.Copy !req
209. Mm-hmm! Makes me
just weak in the knees.Copy !req
210. Takes care of the children?
Excuse me.Copy !req
211. I want to have the children...Copy !req
212. as you can see in my book...Copy !req
213. She's Having My Baby...
Why Can't I?Copy !req
214. - Go on, boy!
- I just want to have a baby so badly.Copy !req
215. I want to experience it
the natural way.Copy !req
216. I'm sorry, Shiwanda. I didn't mean
to get emotional on the show.Copy !req
217. Let it go.Copy !req
218. It's just that...Copy !req
219. - when I think about the beauty...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
220. - Of holding a baby against your breast...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
221. - All swelled with milk...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
222. And that I'll never know...
that kind of joy.Copy !req
223. - Go on, girl.
- Go on, girl.!Copy !req
224. Breast swelled with milk?
What a wuss.Copy !req
225. Excuse me?Copy !req
226. Oh, don't let him get to you, Lionel.Copy !req
227. There's nothing at all wrong with having
a highly developed feminine sensibility.Copy !req
228. Why, some of my best friends are...Copy !req
229. - Shut up. I'm no wuss, man.
- Oh, yeah? Prove it.Copy !req
230. - Oh, now...
- Last month I slept with 10 women.Copy !req
231. - That's nothing to be proud of.
- It sure isn't.Copy !req
232. That's an easy afternoon for me, buddy.Copy !req
233. Yeah, well, I guess it takes
a little longer to get from job to job...Copy !req
234. - when you're moving heavy equipment.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
235. Yeah!Copy !req
236. Men are all alike.Copy !req
237. You know, you two aren't at all sensitive.Copy !req
238. You're as bad as all the rest.
I mean, really.Copy !req
239. We got books to sell!Copy !req
240. Get out, boy.!Copy !req
241. - Shut up!
- Girlfriends, there you have it.Copy !req
242. Now we know what they really think
and what they think with.Copy !req
243. Uh-huh.
I make you this promise:Copy !req
244. No more men on
Go On Girl.Copy !req
245. - Yeah, you love it!
- Yeah, you love it!Copy !req
246. - Good night, everybody.
- Go on, girl.!Copy !req
247. Legally repressing my "ballsitude,"Copy !req
248. I've retracted my "godads"
with gigantic proportions.Copy !req
249. And the signing
of the prohibition, you see...Copy !req
250. defecates the fluids of the tension...Copy !req
251. between the essence of
the Euro intercourse, you see.Copy !req
252. A. T. + T. Allows you
to reach out and touch someone...Copy !req
253. even when they
don't get out much.Copy !req
254. Right, exactly.
Okay, brother, okay.Copy !req
255. - See, all you're doing right now...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
256. - Is flatulating your liquids, okay...
- That's pretty good.Copy !req
257. - Because I believe it was Homo erectus...
- Right.Copy !req
258. - That said to expose
the hemorrhoidal ramification...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
259. - Would merely delineate the colonic orifice...
- Ooh!Copy !req
260. Thereby separating the gluteus
from the maximus.Copy !req
261. - Well, Homo was very deep...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
262. - But you seem to masticate
the proclamation, my brother...
- Okay.Copy !req
263. Because the gastrointestinal phlebitis...Copy !req
264. - prostigates the "crustation" of the colostomy...
- Okay.Copy !req
265. - If that's your bag.
- Uh-huh, for sure!Copy !req
266. Right. And further "hindrant"
the pyorrhea, which has...Copy !req
267. - Excuse me?
- Uh, you got me, brother.Copy !req
268. - The diarrhea.
- Okay.Copy !req
269. Moving toward the angina or "bagina"...Copy !req
270. - depending on how much time you got.
- Man, you are Metamucil.Copy !req
271. I know, I know.Copy !req
272. ddCopy !req
273. ddCopy !req
274. All right.Copy !req
275. Welcome back to the
Miss Black Person U.S.A. Beauty Pageant...Copy !req
276. at the Lola Falana Recreational Center...Copy !req
277. in beautiful downtown
Motown, Detroit City.Copy !req
278. Give yourselves a hand, would ya?
All right.Copy !req
279. Now, I'm your host,
Mr. Lamar Hightower.Copy !req
280. Would you give it up for me?Copy !req
281. Thank you so much.Copy !req
282. Now, we're getting much closer
to that very big moment.Copy !req
283. But now let's take time to review...Copy !req
284. the swimsuit and talent
competition, shall we?Copy !req
285. Beautiful, aren't they?
Give them another hand, y'all.Copy !req
286. Look here, it's time for the talent...Copy !req
287. and these girls have plenty of it.Copy !req
288. First up, reciting an original
poem entitled "The Butterfly,"Copy !req
289. the Windy City's very own...Copy !req
290. - Zahara Nariba Patterson.Copy !req
291. I... am... Africa!Copy !req
292. A tear...Copy !req
293. falls from my...Copy !req
294. Next, from the balsa wood capital of America...Copy !req
295. performing an exciting
new rendition of Shaft...Copy !req
296. Charlotte, North Carolina's own
Lahonda Watkins.Copy !req
297. Give it up.Copy !req
298. ddCopy !req
299. And finally, performing
an original song entitled "I Am Woman,"Copy !req
300. Oaktown, California's own
Miss Alfreda Hill.Copy !req
301. d I am wo-wo-woman dCopy !req
302. d Woman am I
Woman are you dCopy !req
303. d I look in the mirror
and I see woman dCopy !req
304. d You look in my eyes
and you see woman dCopy !req
305. d Woman, woman, woman, woman dCopy !req
306. d Feline, feminine
fantastical dCopy !req
307. d I am wo... dCopy !req
308. ddCopy !req
309. d Man ddCopy !req
310. All right.
Everybody having fun?Copy !req
311. I know I am.
All right, y'all.Copy !req
312. Look here, we would show y'all
the other two contestants' talent segments...Copy !req
313. but since we running out of time and
they ain't gonna win anyway, who cares?Copy !req
314. Now that you know
who our final three contestants are...Copy !req
315. - let's get to the judges' questions, shall we?Copy !req
316. If you could run the world,
what would you do different?Copy !req
317. I believe all people are nice...Copy !req
318. even though they
get mad sometimes.Copy !req
319. My personal hero is
someone who never got mad...Copy !req
320. who always turned
the other cheek...Copy !req
321. the Reverend
Martin Luther King, Jr.Copy !req
322. - Thank you.
- All right. Thank you.Copy !req
323. If you were stranded
on a desert island...Copy !req
324. - what are the things you'd bring along?
- That'll definitely be...Copy !req
325. the teachings of the Reverend
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!Copy !req
326. Please define the word "joy."Copy !req
327. Joy, sir?Copy !req
328. I do not know the meaning of the word.Copy !req
329. But the Reverend Martin Luther King did.Copy !req
330. - Thank you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
331. Thank you, ladies.
Give 'em a hand, would you?Copy !req
332. Hey, y'all, guess what time it is.Copy !req
333. It's time to announce the winner.Copy !req
334. Judges, I don't envy you,
but give me the answer.Copy !req
335. - Ooh, I'm nervous.Copy !req
336. Our second runner-up...Copy !req
337. Charlotte, North Carolina's own
Lahonda Watkins.Copy !req
338. First runner-up, and in the event
that something should happen...Copy !req
339. to our new 1990
Miss Black Person U.S. A...Copy !req
340. you will, of course,
be required to assume the crown...Copy !req
341. Chicago's own
Zahara Nariba Patterson.Copy !req
342. Ladies and gentlemen, 1990
Miss Black Person U.S.A., Alfreda Hill.!Copy !req
343. - Congratulations!Copy !req
344. d Hey, Miss
Black Person U.S.A. dCopy !req
345. - d You're the finest in the land dCopy !req
346. d Hey, Miss
Black Person U.S.A. dCopy !req
347. d Like a big, sweet
honey-glazed ham dCopy !req
348. d Brown and lovely dCopy !req
349. d Like a bottle
of ancient wine dCopy !req
350. d Know what you got dCopy !req
351. dJust look at that big behind dCopy !req
352. d What a bouquet
Miss Black Person U.S.A. dCopy !req
353. d She's black
Ain't no taking her back ddCopy !req
354. Thank you very much.Copy !req
355. Tommy, you do the honors, man.Copy !req
356. Yo, we'll see you next week
on In Living Color. Chillin'!Copy !req
357. Oh, damn!Copy !req
358. d You can do what you wanna do ddCopy !req