1. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
2. d In living colordCopy !req
3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
4. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
5. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
8. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
11. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
12. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
13. d In living colordCopy !req
14. d In living colordCopy !req
15. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
16. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
17. d Everybody here is equally kind dCopy !req
18. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
19. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
20. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
21. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
22. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
23. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
24. d In living colordCopy !req
25. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
26. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
27. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
28. - d Take it from me It's a'ight... ddCopy !req
29. - Um, Shawn, where's the dancers?
- I don't know, Keenen.Copy !req
30. Anybody check their
dressing rooms? What's up?Copy !req
31. - I don't know, man.
You can check my dressing room.Copy !req
32. All right. I'm going
to see what's going on.Copy !req
33. Boy, this is so weird.
They're usually so responsible.Copy !req
34. Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on here, ladies?Copy !req
35. - Hi, Keenen.
- Why aren't you guys on stage?Copy !req
36. Hey, sorry, Keenen. I guess we just got
caught up in this open-heart surgery thing.Copy !req
37. Well, you guys
are my dancers, remember?Copy !req
38. Keenen, the only reason we're dancing
is to work our way through medical school.Copy !req
39. Well, look, until med school is finished,
you have a contract with me.Copy !req
40. Now, someone has
to start the show.Copy !req
41. - Well, Keenen, we have this patient.
- Well, go on, ladies.Copy !req
42. I feel better already.Copy !req
43. - Could you close for us?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
44. We'll open for you
if you close for us.Copy !req
45. Here, it's just like sewing on a button.Copy !req
46. Good luck.Copy !req
47. And you guys thought
they were just sex objects.Copy !req
48. - I know I did.Copy !req
49. SW1, kick it.Copy !req
50. - d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
51. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
52. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
53. d In living colorddCopy !req
54. ddCopy !req
55. And now, from the Faith Ministry Church...Copy !req
56. it's time once again for another
Hour Of Power TVprayer.Copy !req
57. - Hallelujah.
- Hallelujah, brothers.Copy !req
58. Hallelujah!Copy !req
59. Greetings, brothers and sisters.Copy !req
60. Welcome to another Hour Of Power.
This is TV prayer.Copy !req
61. My name is the Reverend M. Cash.
Cash Money, y'all.Copy !req
62. And I'm Reverend Dr. Carl Pathos.Copy !req
63. - And we're gonna double-team your faith today.
- Praise the Lord.Copy !req
64. That's right. We're gonna reach down
into your soul and get you in the mood.Copy !req
65. We're gonna get you excited.
We're gonna make you feel good.Copy !req
66. I'm telling you, if all I had
was a clock in my pants...Copy !req
67. it would be high noon right now.Copy !req
68. Well, I think you need to keep that time
to yourself, Reverend.Copy !req
69. - Pardon me then.
- No, today's lesson is about tithing.Copy !req
70. That's right. Now I know we've talked
about giving of 10% of your earnings.Copy !req
71. We talked about that last week
and the week before.Copy !req
72. And we're gonna keep talking about it
till y'all get it right.Copy !req
73. We never get tired of that subject
because the Lord says...Copy !req
74. you must store up treasures
in heaven and not on earth.Copy !req
75. That's right. That's why there's
a hole in the ozone layer now...Copy !req
76. 'cause you've all been
tardy with your payments.Copy !req
77. That's right.
Now some of you...Copy !req
78. some of you have been trying
to skate by on five and six percent.Copy !req
79. Nice try, but you cannot
fool the Lord!Copy !req
80. Now, I'm gonna read off
some names right now...Copy !req
81. and I want you to stand up
when you hear your name.Copy !req
82. - Raymond Gary.
- Up on your feet.Copy !req
83. - Dorothy Bill.
- Rise and shine.Copy !req
84. - Joe Wilson.
- Yo, Joe.Copy !req
85. Now, your checks have bounced.Copy !req
86. Get out.Copy !req
87. I rebuke you. Get out, and take your fat wife
with you. Get on out ofhere.Copy !req
88. That's a sin.
That's an unforgivable sin.Copy !req
89. I can feel the sin
in this room tonight.Copy !req
90. It is that temptation
that would make a woman...Copy !req
91. sell her body
for upwards of $40...Copy !req
92. even though she wanted it
as much as I did.Copy !req
93. I have sinned against you!Copy !req
94. I think what Reverend Pathos
is trying to say...Copy !req
95. is that we've all sinned.Copy !req
96. Not like me.Copy !req
97. Well, we ain't all freakazoids
like you, but we've all sinned.Copy !req
98. - You see, that's why you're here today.
- Amen.Copy !req
99. - But that's okay, see, 'cause the Lord forgives.
- The Lord forgives.Copy !req
100. - He's forgiven me and will forgive you too.
- He does.Copy !req
101. - I know because I've talked to the Lord.
- That's right.Copy !req
102. I've talked to him in tongues.Copy !req
103. That's right. That's the only way
to get to the Lord.Copy !req
104. He don't answer if you just say,
"Hey, Lord." You gotta speak in a tongue.Copy !req
105. - And this man can do it.
- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.Copy !req
106. - I got a call right now.
- Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
107. ddCopy !req
108. - dd
- Whoo-hoo.!Copy !req
109. And I'm back.Copy !req
110. And the Lord said to tell you hi.Copy !req
111. Whoo! I got the spirit.
I feel like healing.Copy !req
112. Yes!Copy !req
113. We have a candidate right here,
Reverend, sitting right in front of us.Copy !req
114. - Bring me up someone.
- Come on up here, son.Copy !req
115. - What is your affliction, brother?
- I can't move my leg.Copy !req
116. You can't move your leg?
Well, let me get the spirit.Copy !req
117. Let me put my hand on it.
I think I feel it. Oh, here it is.Copy !req
118. This is what's been holding you down.
This wallet's been holding you down.Copy !req
119. - You are healed. Get on out of here.
- I can't walk!Copy !req
120. Praise the Lord.
The spirit has been lifted.Copy !req
121. - Amen.
- Amen.Copy !req
122. Yes!Copy !req
123. - Now you've seen the Lord in effect.
- You have seen him.Copy !req
124. - You've witnessed the Lord's spirit.
- You were there!Copy !req
125. - Now, it's time to pay the Lord.
- Pay him up.Copy !req
126. - Pay that man his money.
Now, while I collect the offerings...
- ddCopy !req
127. Brother Pathos here
will lead us in a song.Copy !req
128. Brother Pathos.Copy !req
129. d I think I saw him on the hill
the other day dCopy !req
130. d I think I saw him when
I watched the children play dCopy !req
131. d But when I opened up my voice
to sing him praise dCopy !req
132. d He ran away dCopy !req
133. d Ran away dCopy !req
134. d Far away dCopy !req
135. d My singing made
sweetJesus run away dCopy !req
136. d I did not have to wait
for judgment... ddCopy !req
137. Wait a minute. Hold on.Copy !req
138. - This ain't working.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
139. One dollar.
What's this, one dollar?Copy !req
140. No, no, we tried to do it
the Lord's way.Copy !req
141. Now we're gonna do it the good old
125th Street and Seventh Avenue way.Copy !req
142. Give us the money now.
Pay the Lord.Copy !req
143. You wanted heaven.
Now reach for it.Copy !req
144. And give me them alligator shoes.Copy !req
145. Give it up. Give it up.Copy !req
146. - I want shoes!
- Now you're giving, brothers.Copy !req
147. You're giving now.Copy !req
148. ddCopy !req
149. ddCopy !req
150. ddCopy !req
151. I didn't think I was ever gonna find
this wedding reception.Copy !req
152. But I'm certainly glad to be here
with all my favorite people.Copy !req
153. Oh, look at me just rattling on and on
like you'd know who I am.Copy !req
154. Hi, I'm Benita Batrell. You know,
from over there in Hopkins Projects.Copy !req
155. Yeah, I'm a friend of the bride's.
Me and Althea go way back, honey.Copy !req
156. That's my homegirl there. I loves me
some Althea. Oh, there she go now.Copy !req
157. Althea! Hey, Althea!Copy !req
158. Girl, look at you. Hubba, hubba,
zing, zing. Althea, you got everything.Copy !req
159. Look at you.
The blushing bride. Whoo!Copy !req
160. I guess you'd be blushing too if you just
got through doing the Humpty Dance...Copy !req
161. with the best man
in the men's room.Copy !req
162. That's a slut on wheels there. Honey,
don't ask me what the men see in her.Copy !req
163. The girl's so ugly she gotta sneak up
on a glass of water to get a drink.Copy !req
164. But I ain't one to gossip,
so you ain't heard it from me.Copy !req
165. Hmm? Of course I was invited.
I just didn't get my invitation, that's all.Copy !req
166. Probably too damn cheap to mail it.
But I know I was invited.Copy !req
167. Oh, look it here. There go Lester.
That's the groom there.Copy !req
168. Lester! L-L-L-L-Lester!Copy !req
169. Oh!Copy !req
170. What you sweating about?
You already said "I do."Copy !req
171. He's just as nervous
as he can be. Mmm.Copy !req
172. You'd be nervous too if you were waiting on your
test results to come back from the free clinic.Copy !req
173. But I ain't one to gossip,
so you ain't heard that from me.Copy !req
174. Whoo, girl, I'm so hungry
I could eat a horse.Copy !req
175. Look like that's
what they're serving too.Copy !req
176. I guess Mr. Ed finally
met his maker.Copy !req
177. This food is so nasty even the roaches
done signed up for food stamps.Copy !req
178. I sure hope they got a stomach pump
for a wedding present.Copy !req
179. Hmm? Of course I was invited.Copy !req
180. Oh, look. Look.
There goes Althea's niece Sharena.Copy !req
181. Hey, Sharena.
Hey, Sh-Sh-Sharena.Copy !req
182. Ah. How's my little baby doing?Copy !req
183. Oh, you look beautiful, hair all done up
in those little Shirley Temple curls.Copy !req
184. You look like a little angel.Copy !req
185. Little devil's more like it.
Wouldn't surprise me none...Copy !req
186. if her nappy head spun around
and started speaking in tongues.Copy !req
187. But I ain't one to gossip,
so you ain't heard that from me.Copy !req
188. No, you haven't.Copy !req
189. Oh, boy. Yeah.Copy !req
190. Mm-mm-mm.
I love me some weddings.Copy !req
191. I don't know
what's going on these days.Copy !req
192. Everyone just rushing to get married.
What's the big rush? You know what it is?Copy !req
193. These women out here want a man
who can do something for them.Copy !req
194. But I'll tell you what.
Benita does for herself.Copy !req
195. You see this mink here?
I bought that myself. Yes, I did.Copy !req
196. It used to be full-length.
Long and lush.Copy !req
197. Looked like a queen, honey.
Used to call me Queen Benita.Copy !req
198. But one day I was heating up
some pig feet, my coat caught on fire.Copy !req
199. And this is all that's left.Copy !req
200. Yeah, honey. See, I got me something.
Yes, I do. I got me something.Copy !req
201. And speaking of having something,
there goes the Reverend Atkins...Copy !req
202. up there having hisself
another drink.Copy !req
203. Reverend Atkins. Reverend Atkins.Copy !req
204. It's me, Baby "B."
How you doing?Copy !req
205. God, that was a beautiful ceremony.
Just brought tears to my eyes.Copy !req
206. You gonna marry me
when I'm ready?Copy !req
207. Well, you go on now, 'cause you certainly
outdid yourself. Drink up. Drink up.Copy !req
208. Hmm? Oh. Oh, that's
Miss Jenkins over there.Copy !req
209. That's a fine example of a human being.
I love me some Miss Jenkins.Copy !req
210. I dare somebody say something bad
about Miss Jenkins.Copy !req
211. Don't nobody dare say nothing bad about
Miss Jenkins, 'cause that's when I lose it.Copy !req
212. That's when I go off.Copy !req
213. That's a fine, fine lady.Copy !req
214. Mm-hmm. Just don't get
too close to her.Copy !req
215. Breath so bad she singe
the hair on your nostrils.Copy !req
216. But I ain't one to gossip,
so you ain't heard that from me.Copy !req
217. No, you haven't.Copy !req
218. Say what?
Oh, this your seat.Copy !req
219. Well, mine must be over there somewhere,
'cause I know I was invited.Copy !req
220. Even though this is the damn cheesiest
wedding I've ever been to in my life.Copy !req
221. But I ain't one to gossip,
so you ain't heard it from me.Copy !req
222. What's the matter, Tom?
You look down.Copy !req
223. Well, I hired another white incompetent
applicant for a management position...Copy !req
224. and gave the overqualified black applicant
the entry-level office job again.Copy !req
225. - I feel so terrible.
- I know what you mean, hon.Copy !req
226. I called the cops on some black kids
that were asking for donations...Copy !req
227. for the United Negro
Scholarship fund.Copy !req
228. I just assumed they were gang members.
I feel terrible too.Copy !req
229. Has this ever happened to you?Copy !req
230. Well, now you can unload
your guilt in minutes for only $5.95.Copy !req
231. - That's right... $5.95.
- How?Copy !req
232. By simply dialing
1- 900-Y.T. GUIL T.Copy !req
233. Your call will be answered by an educated,
militant Afro-American person.Copy !req
234. Press 1 for housing discrimination,
press 2 forjob discrimination...Copy !req
235. or press 3 for plain old scared
your daughter might marry one of them fear.Copy !req
236. This is the Minister Louis Farrakhan.Copy !req
237. And what is your crime?Copy !req
238. Well, they had a vote for
affirmative action on the job today...Copy !req
239. and I vetoed it.Copy !req
240. Why? Are you afraid that if given
a position of authority in that office...Copy !req
241. that black man will repay you
for your 300 years of oppression?Copy !req
242. - Yes, that's it.
- Or is the real fear...Copy !req
243. that you'll be standing side by side
in the executive washroom...Copy !req
244. and accidentally look over
and be reminded...Copy !req
245. of your anatomical inferiority?Copy !req
246. You are so spot on.
Please, continue. I deserve this.Copy !req
247. - Well, wait, honey. I wanna talk too.Copy !req
248. Hello, uh, Mr. Farrakhan.
I'm his wife.Copy !req
249. Hello, white wife.
And what is your crime?Copy !req
250. Well, I have this terrible
distrust of black people.Copy !req
251. In fact, a man was walking
behind me today.Copy !req
252. And I became so afraid
I began to run just as fast as I could.Copy !req
253. And even though he wasn't chasing me,
I felt as though he wanted something.Copy !req
254. Don't you see, it is
your own admission of guilt?Copy !req
255. The fear is your fantasy...Copy !req
256. - of what you really wanted from him.
- Yes.Copy !req
257. To be taken away
to the motherland.Copy !req
258. Set free to run naked
in the jungle...Copy !req
259. begging to be dominated
by the masters of that land.Copy !req
260. - Yes, yes, yes!
- Hey, hey. Don't hog it.Copy !req
261. Mr. Farrakhan,
I have one more confession.Copy !req
262. I'm sorry. Your time is up.Copy !req
263. But wait. I was just about
to denounce my race.Copy !req
264. Listen, if I call you back,
will you browbeat us some more?Copy !req
265. Certainly, you small-minded,
anal-retentive, piece of trailer trash.Copy !req
266. I threw that one in for free.Copy !req
267. Thanks! We'll call right back.Copy !req
268. Call 1-900-Y.T. GUIL Tnow...Copy !req
269. and let one of our angry Afro-American
operators put you in your place.Copy !req
270. You can unload a whole day
of guilt in just minutes.Copy !req
271. Well, I feel so much better.Copy !req
272. Let's watch Arsenio.Copy !req
273. Dial 1-900-Y.T. GUIL T.Copy !req
274. Abusers are standing by.Copy !req
275. Come on, whitey.
Make that call.Copy !req
276. - Here we go.
- ddCopy !req
277. ddCopy !req
278. - Oh, look who it is.
- Good morning, Ruth.Copy !req
279. You know, there's nothing like starting
my day downwind of you, baby.Copy !req
280. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
281. Al, I really have to
get in my class...Copy !req
282. I got a couple tickets
for the Spread Eagle Lounge.Copy !req
283. - That's dinner and dancing.
- Drop dead.Copy !req
284. Yeah, you know, I used to be able
to boogie down with the best of them...Copy !req
285. before I shattered this old hip.Copy !req
286. Still got a few good moves
left in me. Doorbell.Copy !req
287. Atta girl. Give me
all the woman you got.Copy !req
288. You know, I think it's high time
you heard Mr. MacAfee's speech on chicks.Copy !req
289. Once you drink from the fountain of Al,
make you one thirsty gal.Copy !req
290. Go to hell, MacAfee.Copy !req
291. Oh, she wants me.
Beggin' like a dog.Copy !req
292. Three, two, one.Copy !req
293. ddCopy !req
294. All right, people, freeze.Copy !req
295. Let's get one thing straight.Copy !req
296. From locker 57 down to the exit sign,
that's MacAfee turf.Copy !req
297. I own you people,
ya understand?Copy !req
298. All right, carry on.Copy !req
299. Hey, partner. I thought I told you
to cut that hair, big guy.Copy !req
300. That goes on
your yellow sheet, man.Copy !req
301. - Hardison.
- Ow, ow!Copy !req
302. - What do you got there, son?
- Ow. It's my science project.Copy !req
303. - I have to turn it in or I'll flunk.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
304. Let me see that thing.
What the hell is it?Copy !req
305. It's a C130 troop transport. It's very fragile.
It took me six months to build. Please.Copy !req
306. What the hell's
it made out of, son?Copy !req
307. Four thousand,
288 Popsicle sticks.Copy !req
308. - It's very fragile. Please, be careful.
- Well, that's pretty impressive...Copy !req
309. but I think one of your doohickeys
is out of whack here.Copy !req
310. - Let me see if I can fix it.
- Mr. MacAfee, there's no doohickey.Copy !req
311. - No! No!
- You know, Hardison...Copy !req
312. I think it's high time you heard
Mr. MacAfee's speech on work, son.Copy !req
313. If you don't plan on doing it right,
plan on doing it again, boy.Copy !req
314. - That's not fair!
- Who said anything about life being fair, son?Copy !req
315. Life's not fair.
You see this hip?Copy !req
316. I shattered it playing an innocent game
ofTwister. That's right.Copy !req
317. Left hand, blue dot.
That's all she wrote.Copy !req
318. Now pick up those Popsicle sticks
before I put you on report, Einstein.Copy !req
319. - Ringleader, right here.
- You're hurting my arm.Copy !req
320. Now, where's your hall pass, princess?Copy !req
321. I don't have one.
We're between classes.Copy !req
322. I think it's high time you heard
Mr. MacAfee's speech on back talk.Copy !req
323. Too much sass, no hall pass,
adds up to one thing.Copy !req
324. Detention, little Miss Lippy.
Let's go.Copy !req
325. - But I didn't say anything.
- Are you calling Mr. MacAfee a liar?Copy !req
326. - No, I swear.
- Oh, now you're swearing.Copy !req
327. No, you're getting all mixed up.Copy !req
328. - Mr. MacAfee's getting all mixed up?
- No, this is crazy.Copy !req
329. Nobody calls MacAfee crazy, baby.
Come on, you little biker chick!Copy !req
330. Throw your best shot.
Come on, baby! Come on!Copy !req
331. Hit me right here on the noggin.
Twenty-one years of jujitsu.Copy !req
332. You're gonna be a grandma
by the time you graduate from here!Copy !req
333. - This is for your own good, son.
- Hey!Copy !req
334. I think it's high time you heard
Mr. MacAfee's speech on drugs, buster.Copy !req
335. Stay away from goofballs
'cause they make you goofy.Copy !req
336. Please, I'm having an asthma...Copy !req
337. For the love of Pete,
look at those pupils.Copy !req
338. You're goofy right now,
aren't you, mister?Copy !req
339. I can't breathe.Copy !req
340. Of course you can't.
Why do you think they call it dope?Copy !req
341. Now that's the spirit.Copy !req
342. You know, cold turkey's the only way
to get that monkey off your back, buddy.Copy !req
343. - Sleep it off, that's right. Carry on.Copy !req
344. - Maca-freak!
- Hey, fool!Copy !req
345. You couldn't catch a fly.Copy !req
346. All right, boys, I want your names.
I'm putting you on report.Copy !req
347. - Seymour Heinie.
- Buster Hymen.Copy !req
348. - Ben Dover.
- All right, Heinie, Hymen, Dover.Copy !req
349. Your names are right down here.
They're going on report.Copy !req
350. This little incident's gonna
cost you your future, son.Copy !req
351. Your lives are in ruins now, kids!Copy !req
352. Yeah, I think they know
who's in charge here.Copy !req
353. Al MacAfee, that's who.Copy !req
354. All right.Copy !req
355. Well, hope you had fun tonight.Copy !req
356. Taking us home, a young lady
who comes to us all the way from London.Copy !req
357. So put your hands together,
have a good time with Monie Love.Copy !req
358. - ddCopy !req
359. Come on, everyone!
Let's see some energy.Copy !req
360. Yeah! Get up off your seats.
Up off your seats.Copy !req
361. Everyone. Yeah.Copy !req
362. Let's see some energy
over this side. Yeah!Copy !req
363. Ah, yeah. Everybody.Copy !req
364. ddCopy !req
365. ddCopy !req
366. ddCopy !req