1. d You can do what you wanna do d
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2. d In living colord
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3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'd
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4. d You can do what you wanna do d
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5. - d In living colord
- d In living colord
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6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon d
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7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon d
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8. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colord
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9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete d
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10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat d
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11. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colord
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12. d You can do what you wanna do d
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13. d In living colord
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14. d In living colord
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15. d You can do what you wanna do d
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16. - d In living colord
- d In living colord
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17. d Everybody here
is equally kind d
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18. d Everybody here
is equally kind d
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19. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody d
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20. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colord
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21. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine d
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22. d In living c-c-c-olord
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23. d You can do what you wanna do d
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24. d In living colord
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25. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'd
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26. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon d
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27. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon d
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28. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colord
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29. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordd
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30. Yeah, I'm standing by. Vice President Quayle
will be approaching shortly.
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31. - Roger. I got that one, Deep Throat.
The eagle has landed.
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32. Tweety is out of his cage.
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33. He's flying over the cuckoo's nest.
Three minutes till condor.
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34. Who are you?
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35. Dickie Peterson, Cherub ofJustice,
here to protect and serve!
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36. Well, the Secret Service
will take care of this, kid.
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37. The last thing we need is some
Guardian Angel troop hanging around here.
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38. I am not a Guardian Angel, sir,
nor do I care to be...
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39. unless they start returning
my phone calls, but fast.
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40. You're gonna have to
step behind that line.
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41. Go undercover?
Mingle with the crowd? Roger!
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42. I know this is against
Cherub regulations...
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43. but, uh, you're Secret Service.
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44. I think I can trust ya.
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45. - Woodchuck?
- It's my code name.
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46. Use it sparingly
and only in an emergency.
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47. You are gonna eat that,
aren't you?
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48. Yeah. Okay,
I'll be right there.
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49. Unauthorized disposal
of classified document.
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50. I'm gonna have to
put him on report.
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51. Also, leaving his post.
Two more demerits.
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52. Looks like I'm gonna have
to secure this perimeter myself.
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53. Hussein!
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54. Sorry about that, miss.
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55. Merely a trained reflex reaction
triggered by potential terrorist activity.
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56. For all I know, that hot dog
could have been a Scud missile...
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57. and its bun,
the mobile launcher.
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58. You are an idiot!
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59. Sticks and stones
may break my bones, miss...
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60. but names are not gonna put
that hot dog back in your mouth.
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61. Sure, go ahead. Get another one.
I'll do it again.
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62. - Situation resolved.
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63. All right, everybody.
Surprise inspection.
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64. The second most powerful man in the
entire world is gonna be by here any second...
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65. and I swear by this trademark
yellow beret...
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66. that every man, woman and child
in my sector will pass muster.
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67. Hey! News flash.
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68. The '60s are over.
Get a haircut, transvestite!
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69. - Suck in your gut.
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70. I better check
into home base.
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71. Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel. Woodchuck
to Gray Squirrel. Come in, Gray Squirrel.
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72. Dickie? Is that you, Dickie?
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73. Yes, Gray Squirrel,
it's Woodchuck!
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74. Listen, Woodchuck. What are these
magazines I found under your bed?
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75. Uh, merely reference material for the scenario
file of my Cherubs ofJustice crime lab.
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76. No, it's not.
It's filthy smut.
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77. When you get home,
I'm going to take you over my knee...
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78. Uh, you're breaking up, Gray Squirrel.
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79. Gray Squirrel? Uh, I can't...
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80. Maintain radio silence.
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81. - The vice president!
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82. dd
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83. Did you see the way
he looked at me?
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84. Did anybody see that?
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85. I think we had a moment there.
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86. - What's that guy doin'?
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87. The vice president's in trouble!
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88. - Sorry. I didn't see you.
- Hussein!
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89. - I was aiming for the trash can.
- I'll bet you were, Taxi Driver.
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90. I bet you didn't count on
Dickie Peterson, human shield...
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91. getting between you
and the vice president, did ya?
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92. Unfortunately, I don't have the authority
to detain you at this moment.
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93. But I promise you, mister...
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94. one day it'll be just you and me.
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95. And then, boom!
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96. Death touch.
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97. Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.
Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.
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98. Evil plan aborted.
Tweety is back in his cage.
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99. Sylvester, once again,
has been thwarted.
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100. Judging by the length
of my shadow...
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101. it is about 1800 hours,
which means it's time for Cherub chow.
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102. So get those Ding Dongs ready.
I'm comin' home!
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103. Gray Squirrel, it's locked.
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104. - Gray Squirrel?
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105. Due to the volume of calls to 911...
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106. your call is being answered
by the M.X. System.
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107. If you are witnessing
a murder, press 1.
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108. If you are being assaulted,
press 2.
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109. If you are being robbed,
press 3.
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110. If you are being robbed
in a single-family home, press 1.
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111. If you are being robbed
in an apartment, press 2.
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112. If the perpetrator is still
outside your apartment, press 1.
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113. If the perpetrator has entered
your apartment, press 2.
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114. If the perpetrator
is a Caucasian male above six feet...
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115. and over 175 pounds
with identifiable tattoos...
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116. press 1.
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117. If he has no tattoos, press 2.
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118. If you didn't hear
your specific situation clearly...
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119. this tape will repeat.
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120. If you are witnessing
a murder, press 1.
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121. dd
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122. You've done a wonderful job
organizing the recital, Janice.
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123. I'm quite sure donations
will be generous.
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124. Well, thank you, Mrs. Beaumont.
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125. I just hope we've raised enough money
to keep the opera house open.
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126. Oh, I'm certain we will,
my dear.
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127. Unless, of course, there's
some unforeseen disaster.
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128. Well, menage a trois, everybody!
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129. - I have "entray-vooed."
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130. I am ready to party!
Now where is Oprah?
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131. I'm sorry, but I think you're
a bit confused. This is the opera.
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132. What? You mean there
ain't gonna be no women on here...
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133. talkin' about their panties
possessed by the devil?
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134. - Who are you?
- I'll give you a hint.
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135. I'm hip, I'm slick, and all the women love
my G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip.
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136. Well, you'll have to excuse us.
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137. I think we see somebody
over there we know.
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138. Oh, bon souffle, mon bidet.
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139. Oh, my God.
It's that idiot, Frenchie.
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140. Um, excuse me.
I have to freshen up.
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141. Janice.! Hey, Janice.
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142. - It's me, Frenchie, baby.
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143. - How you doing, woman?
- What are you doing here?
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144. Well, don't be so El DeBarge.
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145. It wasn't easy
findin' you, you know.
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146. Remember when we was
in the Laundromat?
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147. You said, "Close your eyes"
when I asked you for a piece of sugar.
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148. You said, " Close your eyes and count to
a hundred." I opened my eyes, you was gone.
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149. Don't worry. You dropped a little something
on the Laundromat floor.
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150. I took it down to the police station.
Had your fingerprints dusted.
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151. They gave me your license plate number.
I followed you down here.
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152. I just wanted to return
these to you, baby.
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153. I love a woman
that wears safari drawers.
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154. You know, I got some on
right now. Wanna see?
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155. No!
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156. Janice. Janice.
I don't believe I've met your friend.
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157. - He's not my friend.
- That's right. It's much more than that.
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158. We go together
like toes and jam.
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159. - Yes.
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160. Well, Don Pardo. My name is Leonard,
but all my friends call me "Frenchie."
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161. Oh. Oh, dear.
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162. Frenchie, let me
spell it out for you.
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163. Mrs. Beaumont
is the C.E.O. Of a top S & I.
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164. Yes, but I'm out tonight
for a little R & R.
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165. - Que coincidence.
- Oh.
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166. That's right. I got B.O.
From the local Y.M.C.A.
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167. And I'm out for a little T & A.
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168. Well, I've never been
so insulted in all my life!
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169. She sure got enough "A."
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170. Frenchie, I have something
very important to do...
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171. - Uh-huh.
- Somewhere else.
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172. You stay here. Just stay.
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173. Don't follow me.
Don't move. Just stay.
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174. Whatever you say,
mon petite commode.
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175. Some foie gras, sir?
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176. Oh, looks like
mon doo-doo to me.
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177. It's goose liver pate.
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178. Oh, great. Then these chitlins and
hot sauce will go with that just fine.
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179. Go on. Pass that around.
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180. This is nice.
Hey, Zorro.
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181. You know, I wore that same
costume last Halloween.
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182. Won first place down at Mr. Rick's
Sugar Shack. Sure did.
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183. Won a Confunkshun single, and didn't
even have to get my T-shirt wet.
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184. What is wrong with these people?
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185. Janice! Hey, Janice.
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186. You lookin' mighty Haagen-Daz.
Look like you missed me, baby.
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187. You know, in my Harvard days,
I once shot six three-pointers in a row.
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188. - Oh.
- Mmm, very impressive.
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189. Well, last New Year's eve,
I put 12 Reese's pieces up my nose...
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190. shot 'em into a Dixie cup
from across the room.
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191. Ladies and gentlemen, intermission is over.
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192. - Take your seats for the second
portion of tonight's program.
- Oh, it's party time.
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193. dd
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194. dd
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195. Wait a minute, man.
What's all this yelling about?
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196. This is worse than
a Patti LaBelle concert, man.
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197. What is this? You are
the biggest buffoon I have ever met!
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198. - Ah, gotcha. I'm a baritone.
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199. But you all don't worry
about the party now.
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200. 'Cause I used to play for Sly and the Family
Stone, so I'm gonna get the music goin'.
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201. See, this here opera stuff is fine,
but it's just a little too tres limousine.
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202. You can't dance to it.
Excuse me, Don Corleone.
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203. How 'bout "Super Freak" on four?
Un, deux, trois, four!
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204. - dd
- Ah, shucks now. Janice, this is for you.
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205. dd
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206. Stop!
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207. I can't tell you
how sorry I am about this.
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208. Sorry? This is disgraceful!
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209. If this is the only performance
you people can afford...
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210. I'm gonna double my donation
to see that this doesn't happen again.
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211. I assure you, this is never...
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212. Oh, Janice, keep your fiance,
French Fry, singing.
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213. On four.
Un, deux, trois, four!
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214. - dd
- Aw, shucks now. Funky chicken!
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215. That's right.
Come on, Janice.
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216. All right, people.
Come on now.
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217. Let's get this party goin',
man. Soul Train!
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218. Now, do the Soul Train.
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219. dd
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220. East Coast! West Coast!
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221. East Coast! West Coast!
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222. dd
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223. Has wearing real fur become a hassle?
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224. Are animal rights activists
bringing you down?
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225. Then say hello to the Clear Conscience
Fur Farm and Outlet Store.
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226. Here at Clear Conscience, 90% of our pelts
come from rodents that die of old age...
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227. right here in our own luxurious
rodent retirement home.
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228. The rest of our pelts come to us
thanks to Mother Nature.
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229. For instance, this unlucky little fellow
was struck down by lightning...
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230. while these little guys were struck
by severe animal depression...
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231. and mass suicide.
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232. So the next time you have a run-in
with an animal rights activist...
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233. flash him the label
on the inside of your sable.
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234. Clear Conscience...
we'll skin no hide before its time.
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235. - Hey, can I help you?
- Hiya, Johnny.
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236. - The name's Jimmy.
- Jimmy, Johnny, Joey. What's in a name?
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237. Anyway, give me a double dip,
black and white.
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238. And, hey, Johnny,
don't forget the cherry.
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239. Name's Jimmy.
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240. Sure got strong arms, Johnny.
I bet no one pushes you around.
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241. Nope, sure don't.
All right.
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242. Put the sprinkles
on there. Ta-da.
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243. A cherry.
That'll be a dollar.
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244. A dollar? Well, I thought
it would cost a quarter.
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245. Oh, fiddlesticks. I just spent
my last buck at the picture show.
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246. I'll tell you what. Just give me the quarter.
Bring the rest when you come back, okay?
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247. Oh, Johnny, you're the greatest.
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248. I was nothin', a nobody,
a bum in the street...
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249. but you came along and picked me up, dusted
me off and turned me into something special.
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250. I'm yours, Johnny, forever.
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251. Look, lady, thanks a lot, all right.
Just enjoy your ice cream.
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252. Bring me my change
when you can.
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253. Oh, Johnny,
I could never repay you...
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254. not after what
you've done for me.
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255. Oh, Johnny, the two of us
will be great together.
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256. We'll be thick as thieves, like birds
of a feather, two peas in a pod.
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257. We'll board the next train
to Niagara.
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258. - Train to Niagara?
- A train to Niagara, slow boat to China.
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259. Ah, Johnny, I'd go to hell
in a handbasket with you.
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260. Look, lady, that's enough.
Hey, yo, Larry!
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261. Larry, I'm gonna take
my break now, man. I'm outta here.
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262. - Lady, there's help around. Seek it.
- Wait!
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263. Johnny?
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264. Don't go.
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265. - dd
- dd
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266. dd
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267. dd
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268. So long, Johnny.
See you in my dreams.
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269. dd
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270. dd
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271. dd
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272. Now, I know you haven't
seen Little G. In a long time...
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273. but I still think it's time you had that talk
with him about the birds and the bees.
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274. I know you don't know
what to say to him...
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275. but I still think it's best
if it comes from you.
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276. Little G.!
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277. Your daddy's gonna have
that talk with you now, okay?
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278. Flatulate yourself
over here, my little zygote.
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279. Flatulate! Flatulate!
Don't be redundant.
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280. Now, you see,
when a man liposucks...
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281. a woman's, uh, mammogram...
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282. it is the titillating expression
between lubrication...
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283. of two secreting adults,
ya dig?
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284. Yeah, yeah. A protractor.
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285. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang's
like Frosted Mini-Wheats.
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286. No, no, it's much more
"mucazoid" than that...
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287. my little "geniphilia."
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288. It's the adolescent Dukakis...
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289. that is calculated,
ya understand...
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290. by the insane,
or, uh, Hussein...
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291. dependent on
the confrontation forthwith...
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292. furthermore, posthaste,
post office...
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293. creating a mediocre-type arsenic,
uh, uh, "treatyology," ya understand?
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294. Am I being "cruex"?
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295. - Uh, gesundheit.
- Uh-huh.
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296. - A most spectacular off-ramp.
- Uh-huh.
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297. - But sometimes, I'm defa... defla...
- Defecated.
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298. - Defecated...
- Right.
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299. - By my misfortune.
- Uh-huh.
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300. That's... That's very antiseptic,
my little hors d'oeuvre.
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301. But do not homogenize
the Neutrogena...
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302. or 'gina,
depending on the woman.
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303. All right?
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304. That's so Nintendo.
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305. My own giblets
are under surveillance.
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306. Oh, that's deep.
That's deep.
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307. That's my son there.
You've radiated mucho ambivalence...
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308. as the French people say.
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309. Time's up.
Let's go, Oswald.
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310. Hey. Remember. Don't constipate
your mother's hemorrhoids.
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311. I won't.
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312. Fornicate my redemption!
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313. I'll recede to my own bowels.
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314. - We had a...
- We had a...
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315. - All right. Go ahead.
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316. We... Sorry. Go ahead.
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317. - We...
- We...
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318. - Good night.
- Good night.
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319. dd
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320. d You can do what you wanna... dd
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