1. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
2. d In living colordCopy !req
3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
4. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
5. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
8. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
11. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
12. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
13. d In living colordCopy !req
14. d In living colordCopy !req
15. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
16. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
17. d Everybody here is equally kind dCopy !req
18. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
19. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
20. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
21. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
22. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
23. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
24. Hi. I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans.
Thanks for tuning in to In Living Color.Copy !req
25. Check it out. How many times you been
sitting around with friends...Copy !req
26. trying to tell them
your favorite sketch from the show?Copy !req
27. Only they didn't see it. Well, check it out.
This is what I done for you.Copy !req
28. I put all the best into one show.Copy !req
29. So call your friends,
have them watch.Copy !req
30. I'll see you next week.
Peace.Copy !req
31. Next!Copy !req
32. Vrrooom.Copy !req
33. Is this the Army
Recrucification Office, sir?Copy !req
34. Now, you probably
want the Eternal Life Mission.Copy !req
35. It's down the street
and around the block.Copy !req
36. No, I've come to be
all I can be...Copy !req
37. 'cause I've been what I've been
and it ain't paying too well.Copy !req
38. - Let me ask you something, boy.
- Huh?Copy !req
39. What do you think
you have to offer the army?Copy !req
40. Well, I'm glad you asked, sir.Copy !req
41. See, 'cause I'm
an entertainer, you know?Copy !req
42. If you gave me five dollars...Copy !req
43. I could go over
to Salty Armenia...Copy !req
44. and entertain the troops, see?Copy !req
45. 'Cause I'm a regular boogie-woogie bugle boy
of Company "B."Copy !req
46. I'm a boogie-woogie
bugle boy... Compan...Copy !req
47. Here. Camouflage that for me.Copy !req
48. Now, listen to me. I am in the business
of signing up real live soldiers, maggot!Copy !req
49. Maggot?
Hey, I ain't no maggot.Copy !req
50. Hey, I ain't never been
with another man before.Copy !req
51. Who told you that, Clarence?
He's lying. He's lying. I'm telling you.Copy !req
52. All right, once.
I was desperate.Copy !req
53. I needed the money. I was drunk and down out.
Don't hold it against me.Copy !req
54. I don't have time for this!
I'm in the middle of a rapid deployment!Copy !req
55. Well, I'm in the middle of unemployment,
so we got something in common.Copy !req
56. - You know, as much as I would
love to send you over to Iraq...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
57. I don't think you'd last 10 minutes.Copy !req
58. Okay, just for instance...Copy !req
59. what would you do if you had to engage
the enemy in hand-to-hand combat?Copy !req
60. That's no problem, see...Copy !req
61. 'cause I'm skilled
in the Martian arts.Copy !req
62. I know tai chi. Whaa!Copy !req
63. I know tae kwon do.Copy !req
64. And I know Tyrone.
He taught me all that stuff.Copy !req
65. You know,
like how to take a rope.Copy !req
66. Just a simple rope...
anything becomes a weapon.Copy !req
67. You take that out and...Copy !req
68. Oh, that's
the secret weapon there.Copy !req
69. Ewww.Copy !req
70. Oh, my God.
What is that smell?Copy !req
71. Well, that was a sample
of my nerve gas.Copy !req
72. All right, all right. That does it.
Get out of here. Go on! Get out of here!Copy !req
73. Well, wait a second. Hold on.Copy !req
74. - Wait a minute, uh, Uncle Sambo.
- Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
75. I want to serve my country.Copy !req
76. I'll give you five dollars if you get out of here
and forget you ever heard about the army.Copy !req
77. - Come on! Take it!
- Well, the guy down at the navy office gave me...Copy !req
78. - Ah, here's $10.
- Well, the guy at the coast guard...Copy !req
79. All right, here's $25. Just go!Copy !req
80. $25, get you $45.
$45? $55? $55? $55?Copy !req
81. - Sold! $55!
- Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
82. Carla, the coast is clear.Copy !req
83. Can I borrow, uh, you know,
a feminine product?Copy !req
84. - Oh, you mean a tampon?
- Shh. Yes. Hurry.Copy !req
85. Thanks.Copy !req
86. That time of the month, huh, Joyce?Copy !req
87. That's not cleavage. It's swelling.Copy !req
88. Suffering from P.M.S., Joyce?Copy !req
89. See? I told you she looked bloated.Copy !req
90. Can't seem to disguise the fact
that it's your time of the month?Copy !req
91. Well, now Femco brings you
Fashion Tampons.Copy !req
92. Stylish, comfortable and fun.Copy !req
93. They come in assorted colors
and go with any outfit.Copy !req
94. Ooh, Joyce,
I love those earrings!Copy !req
95. Thanks, Carla.
Actually, they're tampons...Copy !req
96. conveniently packaged
in boxes of 12, 24 and 186.Copy !req
97. And they're super absorbent.Copy !req
98. Something you just can't find
in other fashion wear.Copy !req
99. Fashion Tampons. Well, honey, I'm just
gonna go on down and get me some.Copy !req
100. Gee, Joyce, you look great today.Copy !req
101. I like a woman who can accessorize.
Really turns me on.Copy !req
102. Nice dress, Joyce.Copy !req
103. This old rag?Copy !req
104. Fashion Tampons. Because at that time
of the month, you want to look good.Copy !req
105. And there's also
Fashion Maxi and Mini Pads...Copy !req
106. for the woman on the go.Copy !req
107. Fashion Tampons from Femco.Copy !req
108. All right, all right. Thanks for coming in.
Come visit us again, all right?Copy !req
109. All right.Copy !req
110. Later.Copy !req
111. Yo, yo, fight the power.Copy !req
112. - Hey, Joy!
- What?Copy !req
113. - Joy!
- What?Copy !req
114. - Joy!
- What?Copy !req
115. - Joy!
- What?Copy !req
116. - Come here.
- What if I don't?Copy !req
117. I won't put you in my next movie.Copy !req
118. Look, Spike. How many times
do I have to tell you?Copy !req
119. It's notJoy. It's Joi.Copy !req
120. Joy, we're back in Brooklyn, all right?
All right?Copy !req
121. In Brooklyn,
it's Joy, notJoi, okay?Copy !req
122. It's notJackay, all right?
It's Jackie.Copy !req
123. It's not Sade, all right?
It's Sadie.Copy !req
124. - All right?
- All right.Copy !req
125. What you gonna call me next?
What you gonna call me, Spikay?Copy !req
126. Get outta here.
I wanna show you my new product.Copy !req
127. Check it out.
Ah, you likes, right?Copy !req
128. You likes, right? Ah, this is
the Mo' Better butter dispenser.Copy !req
129. Check it out.Copy !req
130. Ah.Copy !req
131. I've tasted butter,
but this is Mo' Better butter.Copy !req
132. Go stack that over there.
Stack it by the Malcolm Ex-lax.Copy !req
133. I got a customer.Copy !req
134. - Can I help you?
- Yeah, do you carry sneakers?Copy !req
135. - Sneakers?
- Yeah.Copy !req
136. - Like tennis shoes?
- Right.Copy !req
137. - Like basketball shoes?
- Yes.Copy !req
138. - Like just plain sneakers?
- Yes.Copy !req
139. - Got 'em.
- Oh, great.Copy !req
140. Check it out. My own line.Copy !req
141. - Oh.
- Spikes. You like?Copy !req
142. - No.
- Come on. You gotta like.Copy !req
143. - No, l...
- Come on, look. You gotta like.Copy !req
144. - I don't.
- Please, baby, baby, please.Copy !req
145. Please, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Please, baby, baby, please.Copy !req
146. Please, baby, baby.
Please, baby, baby, baby, baby.Copy !req
147. - Please, baby, baby, please.
- Okay, I'll take them.Copy !req
148. - All right. You sure?
- Yes.Copy !req
149. - You want 'em?
- Yes.Copy !req
150. - You buy 'em?
- Yes.Copy !req
151. - You sure?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
152. All right. You can pay for them
right over here.Copy !req
153. You get a copy
of School Daze with that.Copy !req
154. - Oh. That's okay.
- It's free.Copy !req
155. - Oh, it's free?
- Free.Copy !req
156. That's okay.Copy !req
157. - Get outta here!Copy !req
158. What do you want? What do you want?
I'm gonna go broke.!Copy !req
159. Here! Here!
You're gonna drive me crazy.Copy !req
160. - Mm-mm-mm. Thank you.
- You sound like a machine gun.Copy !req
161. ddCopy !req
162. Excuse me.
Can you turn the radio down, please?Copy !req
163. - dd
- Excuse me.Copy !req
164. Can you turn your radio
down, please? Hey!Copy !req
165. Excuse me. I'd like to return
this free copy of School Daze.Copy !req
166. What's wrong?
It's defective?Copy !req
167. No. I didn't go to a black college.
I just didn't get it.Copy !req
168. Can you please turn your radio down?
Hey.Copy !req
169. - Can you please turn your radio down?Copy !req
170. Hello. Spike's Joint.Copy !req
171. Ha, ha, ha, very funny.
Deliver pizzas to your house.Copy !req
172. - Yeah, right. For the 40th time, hell no!
- ddCopy !req
173. Can you turn
your radio down, please?Copy !req
174. Hey, Spike. Why doesn't Nike appoint
any black people to its board of directors, man?Copy !req
175. It's a very complicated issue, all right?
But you can read about it in my new book:Copy !req
176. The Making of Nike Commercials.Copy !req
177. All right? $9.95.Copy !req
178. - I need 20 triple "A" batteries for my radio.
- We don't have any batteries.Copy !req
179. - You're gonna have to turn your radio down.
- No batteries?Copy !req
180. - Twenty triple "A"?
- Turn your radio down.Copy !req
181. - Turn that down. We don't have any batteries.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
182. Excuse me. Mookie, when are you gonna
take care of your kids, all right?Copy !req
183. It's... It's not Mookie, all right?
It's Spike, all right?Copy !req
184. Turn the radio down.
What do you want?Copy !req
185. - Get outta here. Get outta here.Copy !req
186. - Get outta here!
- How come there's no white people
on the wall, man?Copy !req
187. This is Spike's Joint, all right?
When you get your own joint...Copy !req
188. You can put anybody
you want on the wall.Copy !req
189. - The guy who was in Gilligan, man.Copy !req
190. Huh? How come he's not...Copy !req
191. Now, I know what
you're thinking right now.Copy !req
192. You're thinking, " Hey, now's a great time
to throw a trash can through the window."Copy !req
193. Well, I couldn't agree
with you more.Copy !req
194. That's why I've got trash cans
in the back for $15.Copy !req
195. All right?
They're lightweight and riot size.Copy !req
196. What a discount.Copy !req
197. You'll also get a free copy
of School Daze.Copy !req
198. - Oh, forget it.
- Nah, never mind.Copy !req
199. Get outta here.!
What? What? What?Copy !req
200. M-M-M-M-Midget.Copy !req
201. Legally repressing my "ballsitude,"Copy !req
202. I've retracted my "godads"
with gigantic proportions.Copy !req
203. And the signing
of the prohibition, you see...Copy !req
204. defecates the fluids
of the tension...Copy !req
205. between the essence of
the Euro intercourse, you see.Copy !req
206. A. T. + T. Allows you
to reach out and touch someone...Copy !req
207. even when they
don't get out much.Copy !req
208. Right, exactly.
Okay, brother, okay.Copy !req
209. - See, all you're doing right now...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
210. - Is flatulating your liquids, okay,
- That's pretty good.Copy !req
211. - Because I believe it was Homo erectus...
- Right.Copy !req
212. - That said to expose
the hemorrhoidal ramification...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
213. - Would merely delineate the colonic orifice,
- Ooh!Copy !req
214. Thereby separating
the gluteus from the maximus.Copy !req
215. - Well, Homo was very deep,
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
216. - But you seem to masticate
the proclamation, my brother,
- Okay.Copy !req
217. Because the gastrointestinal phlebitis...Copy !req
218. - prostigates the "crustation" of the colostomy,
- Okay.Copy !req
219. - If that's your bag.
- Uh-huh. Preacher!Copy !req
220. Right. And further "hindrant"
the pyorrhea, which has...Copy !req
221. - Excuse me?
- Uh, you got me, brother.Copy !req
222. - The diarrhea.
- Okay.Copy !req
223. Moving toward the angina
or "bagina"...Copy !req
224. - depending on how much time you got.
- Man, you are Metamucil.Copy !req
225. I know, I know.Copy !req
226. d Talk to me dCopy !req
227. d If you feel the need and
when you need the feeling dCopy !req
228. d Talk to me ddCopy !req
229. Tired of making up lame excuses?Copy !req
230. Don't you wanna cuddle?
Baby needs a hug.Copy !req
231. I can't hug you right now.
I'm still sleeping.Copy !req
232. Is postcoital cuddling bringing you down?Copy !req
233. See, you don't understand. I got to be
somewhere at 6:00 tomorrow morning.Copy !req
234. Then I'll leave with you.Copy !req
235. No. But, uh,
you can't leave with me...Copy !req
236. 'cause my car was in an accident
and it only has one seat left.Copy !req
237. - Then I'll sit on your lap.
- Uh, listen.Copy !req
238. Now, I didn't wanna have to tell you this,
and it's top secret.Copy !req
239. I'm on a mission for the C.I.A.
I have to travel alone.Copy !req
240. It's a matter of life and death.Copy !req
241. But if you die, I don't wanna live.Copy !req
242. Geez, what do I have to do to get rid of her?Copy !req
243. Sounds like you need
the Ejector Bed from Rudeco.Copy !req
244. Yes, it's simple to operate and can eject
up to 2,000 pounds in a single thrust.Copy !req
245. Oh, wow. This never happened
to me before.Copy !req
246. I guess I must've been
under a lot of stress.Copy !req
247. Maybe some fresh air might help.Copy !req
248. Yes, the Ejector Bed.Copy !req
249. Your best friend
in a sticky situation.Copy !req
250. - Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
251. - It's my wife.
- Oh, no! Where will I hide?Copy !req
252. Don't get caught without one.Copy !req
253. The Ejector Bed from Rudeco.Copy !req
254. Ejector Desk and Ejector Chair
sold separately.Copy !req
255. Blood pressure stable
at 120 over 70.Copy !req
256. Doc, how's my partner?
Is he gonna pull through?Copy !req
257. He's in pretty bad shape.
Take a look for yourself.Copy !req
258. Oh, my God!Copy !req
259. Look, look, Doc. Do whatever you gotta do, man.
But please, make him whole again.Copy !req
260. We can rebuild him.
We have the technology, all right?Copy !req
261. It's gonna cost you
six million dollars.Copy !req
262. Six million dollars? The department
doesn't have that kind of money.Copy !req
263. - 15,000.
- Look.Copy !req
264. I got, um... Let's see. Twenty
Twenty-one, twenty-two.Copy !req
265. Another five. Twenty-eight.
Twenty-eight, um...Copy !req
266. Forty-five, all right?
There's $28.45.Copy !req
267. Well, I can't promise anything,
but we'll try.Copy !req
268. He'll be a lot shorter and a little slower.Copy !req
269. - But at least he'll be alive.
- Thanks, man.Copy !req
270. We gotta get you outta here.Copy !req
271. Hang in there, partner.Copy !req
272. Coming this spring to a theater near you...Copy !req
273. The Head Detective.Copy !req
274. The Head always gets his man.Copy !req
275. Let's just forget it, man.
He's too far away. We'll never catch him.Copy !req
276. - Throw me at him.
- What?Copy !req
277. I said throw me at him.
I can do it, partner.Copy !req
278. - No way, man. Too dangerous!
- Just do it!Copy !req
279. Ah, watch my brain.Copy !req
280. - Way to go, man.!
- Freeze, slimeball.Copy !req
281. Don't make me chase you any further.Copy !req
282. And women find him irresistible.Copy !req
283. Yes! You've got incredible hands and feet,
you animal you.Copy !req
284. Oh, Detective Head...Copy !req
285. I never dreamed
it could be like this.Copy !req
286. You know what they say, baby. It's not what
a man's got, it's how he uses it that counts.Copy !req
287. Stop tickling my feet.Copy !req
288. The Head Detective.
Coming this spring to a theater near you.Copy !req
289. ddCopy !req
290. Cable access,
Channel 62, presents Men On Film.Copy !req
291. - Hello, I'm Blayne Edwards.
- And I'm Antoine Merrywether.Copy !req
292. And welcome to Men On Films.Copy !req
293. - The show that looks at movies...
- From a male point of view.Copy !req
294. Tonight's show is sponsored by...Copy !req
295. Nuts & Honey.Copy !req
296. - What did you say?
- Nuttin', honey.Copy !req
297. I bet you can't eat just one.Copy !req
298. I bet I could.Copy !req
299. You're so crazy.Copy !req
300. Tonight we'll be wrapping up
the summer films.Copy !req
301. First up is the box-office smash
Total Recall.Copy !req
302. Yes, this is the movie
where muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger...Copy !req
303. goes in search of his past.Copy !req
304. Just a hint, Arnold,
try looking in the closet.Copy !req
305. Next we have Betsy's Wedding.Copy !req
306. Hated it.Copy !req
307. Then there's Ghost.Copy !req
308. You know, Patrick Swayze
was the real standout in this film.Copy !req
309. You know, I'd breathe life
into his spirit any day.Copy !req
310. Even if I did have to go
through Whoopi Goldberg.Copy !req
311. - Perish the thought.
- Yes, indeed.Copy !req
312. Now we come to Dick Tracy.Copy !req
313. You know, I love the title,
but the movie just left me limp.Copy !req
314. I know what you're saying.
This is... This is what I don't get.Copy !req
315. All the characters fit their names.
You know, Flattop had a flattop.Copy !req
316. Pruneface looked
just like a little prune.Copy !req
317. But I never got the chance to see...Copy !req
318. I know I wanted to.Copy !req
319. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
320. It's hot in here.Copy !req
321. Oh. Then there's
Pretty Woman.Copy !req
322. Hated it.Copy !req
323. - This one should have been called
A Fish Called Julia.
- Oooh.Copy !req
324. Next, Eddie Murphy was back
in Another 48 Hours.Copy !req
325. You know, I'm sorry. This movie
just got off on the wrong track.Copy !req
326. I feel that they should have spent
more time where the real story is.Copy !req
327. - Mm-hmm.
- In the prisons.Copy !req
328. I'd like to see more about them old sweaty mens
all together in them tiny little cells...Copy !req
329. with no one to turn to
but each others.Copy !req
330. Ooh, drop the soap.
I'll get it.Copy !req
331. Hush.Copy !req
332. - Really?
- You know I can wait.Copy !req
333. Then we come to Spike Lee's
Mo'Better Blues.Copy !req
334. I'm sorry. I didn't care for it.
It just didn't put no toot in my horn.Copy !req
335. I'm sorry,
but I liked this one.Copy !req
336. I mean, little Spike Lee
outdone himself this time.Copy !req
337. He really stretched out
in a dual role...Copy !req
338. as both the lead character's
manager and love interest.Copy !req
339. Oh, he was okay
as the manager...Copy !req
340. but, ooh, he just thrilled me to death
in those gripping love scenes...Copy !req
341. with big old handsome
Denzel Washington.Copy !req
342. What courage it must have taken
for little Spike Lee to take off them glasses...Copy !req
343. and let that little hair
get knotty and say...Copy !req
344. "Hey, this is me.
Here I am. See me, love me."Copy !req
345. Hello! Put the car in park.Copy !req
346. The love interest was played
by Spike Lee's little sister, Joi.Copy !req
347. Well, touch me in the morning
and then just walk away.Copy !req
348. I don't know. I think you should go see
this again, then you tell me who's who.Copy !req
349. - Yeah, well, you can go without me.
- 'Toine.Copy !req
350. Don't get mad.Copy !req
351. - 'Toine.
- Okay.Copy !req
352. Finally, we have Die Harder.
What a way to go!Copy !req
353. Ninety minutes
with Mr. Bruce Willis.Copy !req
354. Oh, yes. Don't tempt my tummy
with the taste of Nuts & Honey.Copy !req
355. Crazy.Copy !req
356. You know, the only thing I didn't
understand was all the violence in the film...Copy !req
357. 'cause the title
suggested a love story.Copy !req
358. Mm-hmm.
I second that emotion.Copy !req
359. I think this one still deserves
the new and improved...Copy !req
360. Two snaps, a twist and a kiss.Copy !req
361. Stop. Can't touch this.Copy !req
362. Well, that's our show.Copy !req
363. Next week, we'll be looking at Air America,
starring Mel Gibson...Copy !req
364. and little Robert DowneyJrs.Copy !req
365. - Pilot to copilot, we're going down in flames.Copy !req
366. Bye, now.Copy !req
367. ddCopy !req
368. We'll see you next week.
Good night.Copy !req
369. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
370. d In living colorddCopy !req