1. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
2. d In living colordCopy !req
3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
4. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
5. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
8. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
11. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
12. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
13. d In living colordCopy !req
14. d In living colordCopy !req
15. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
16. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
17. d Everybody here is equally kind dCopy !req
18. d Everybody here is equally kind dCopy !req
19. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
20. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
21. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
22. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
23. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
24. d In living colordCopy !req
25. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
26. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
27. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
28. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
29. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colorddCopy !req
30. ddCopy !req
31. The Prison Cable Network
proudly presents...Copy !req
32. Win, Lose or Draw...Copy !req
33. with your host, 680031, Angel Martinez.!Copy !req
34. - Ay, ay, ay, ay!Copy !req
35. All right! Ay!
Gracias, Warden Thomas.Copy !req
36. Tonight's a very special night for us
because...Copy !req
37. I'm going to give you hint.
? Muchachas.!Copy !req
38. - [Howling, Whistling]
- The women...Copy !req
39. of the Cleveland Highlands
Correctional Facility are here
to play our game with us.Copy !req
40. - So, first, let's meet the ladies.Copy !req
41. First up, there's Blaze.Copy !req
42. That's one hot mama.Copy !req
43. Next is Lobotomy.Copy !req
44. She spends her free time
volunteering for medical experiments.Copy !req
45. And last, but not least, Buster.Copy !req
46. You might know her last husband.
He sings soprano for the prison choir.Copy !req
47. - Nothing wrong with that, man!Copy !req
48. Now, are you ready
to meet our reigning champions?Copy !req
49. Even though you might know them,
I'll do it again, okay?Copy !req
50. First up, Charlie.Copy !req
51. - Next, Tiny.
- Ha ha ha...Copy !req
52. Tiny! Right!Copy !req
53. And of course, Big Hector.Copy !req
54. Groovy, Hector.!Copy !req
55. Oh, and of course,
next to Big Hector, like always, Chicken.Copy !req
56. - [Cheering, Applause]
- Now let's play the game.Copy !req
57. We'll start with the ladies, okay?
Hey, Blaze, come on.Copy !req
58. - Go on, Blaze.! Go on. Whoo.!
- Hey, Blaze...Copy !req
59. why don't you tell us
a little bit of something about yourself?Copy !req
60. Well, Angel, I collect matchbooks...Copy !req
61. I love to barbecue...Copy !req
62. and my idea of a romantic evening...Copy !req
63. is to curl up
in front of a blazing building.Copy !req
64. Ay yi yi yi yi!Copy !req
65. Huh? Is it just me or am I getting
really, really hot?Copy !req
66. Sounds great.
Okay, let's begin, okay?Copy !req
67. Our first clue will be an emotion.Copy !req
68. Rage.! A-Anger.!Copy !req
69. - No, no, no, no.
- No, no! Bloodlust!Copy !req
70. - Bloodlust.!
- No, I think more of...
it's a happy emotion, okay?Copy !req
71. Total numbness.Copy !req
72. I have to have you, Buster!
I want you!Copy !req
73. - Vasectomy!
- Never mind.Copy !req
74. Uh, Rupture? Rupture.!Copy !req
75. A hernia! A ruptured hernia!Copy !req
76. No, no, no. It's a happy emotion.
Anyone?Copy !req
77. - Take the blue pills?Copy !req
78. Time's up.
Guys, can you steal this one?Copy !req
79. - Is it...Copy !req
80. the satisfaction
of stabbing a guard 57 times?Copy !req
81. - That's it, man!Copy !req
82. Stabbing a guard 57 times!
I should have got that one!Copy !req
83. - Now, Charlie, come up, man.
- All right, man.Copy !req
84. Hey, Charlie,
have you done a lot of drawing?Copy !req
85. Not really, man.
I've done a lot of sculpture, though.Copy !req
86. Mostly, I like to carve human figures.Copy !req
87. - Ay yi yi yi yi.Copy !req
88. - Oh.
- Okay, Charlie...Copy !req
89. let me tell you a little bit
about this puzzle, okay?Copy !req
90. Wait a second!Copy !req
91. - Is it a place?
- Yes. How... How do you know that?Copy !req
92. I'm right inside your head.Copy !req
93. Oh.! Oh, I got this one.
Uh, is it a... a... a woman?Copy !req
94. No. A buxom woman.Copy !req
95. No. A buxom woman with big breastesses?Copy !req
96. I said a place, man!Copy !req
97. - A woman with really, really
big breastesses in a place?Copy !req
98. Uh, no, no.
Ladies, can you steal this one?Copy !req
99. The Continental United States?Copy !req
100. - That's it, man! The Continental United States.Copy !req
101. You guys should have got that one, man.
You guys weren't even thinking, man.Copy !req
102. I think if you look again...Copy !req
103. it's really a woman with two big breasts
in a place.Copy !req
104. Oh, yes, yes. As a matter of fact, he's right.
She's right in Florida.Copy !req
105. I didn't see her.
Big Hector's team wins again.Copy !req
106. - I'm very sorry.Copy !req
107. That's bull crap!
[Shouting, Indistinct]Copy !req
108. I want you, Buster!
I got to have you, baby!Copy !req
109. - I gotta...
- Put your head between your legs.Copy !req
110. I want you Lobotomy! I got to have you!Copy !req
111. - I want you!
- Just breathe. Just breathe, man!Copy !req
112. Just breathe.Copy !req
113. Okay. Now what this means is
is that Big Hector's team...Copy !req
114. advances to the speed round, okay?Copy !req
115. All right. Now, they'll have 30 seconds
to name Hector's four pictures.Copy !req
116. Okay. Come on, Big Hector!
Come up here. Come on.Copy !req
117. - Come on, guys!
- Yeah!Copy !req
118. Let's establish a psychic link.!Copy !req
119. - Vehicular homicide?Copy !req
120. Yeah!Copy !req
121. The dog that told me to shoot Rick Dees!Copy !req
122. - Yeah.!Copy !req
123. Oh! I know this. Oh.
Oh, Uh, a woman with big breastesses...Copy !req
124. uh, on Golden Pond!Copy !req
125. - Yeah.!Copy !req
126. Uh, I got this. Uh, birds flying over a woman
with... with big breastesses?Copy !req
127. - Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
128. - [Cheering, Applause]
- [Shouting, Indistinct]Copy !req
129. Off of you!Copy !req
130. All right! That means your team
has guessed all four of them.Copy !req
131. Warden Thomas, can you tell them
what beautiful gifts they have won?Copy !req
132. - dd
- Well, Big Hector's team...Copy !req
133. you've each won an elegant personal
grooming kit from the prison supply house.Copy !req
134. And for the prisoner who has everything...Copy !req
135. but doesn't want to give it up...
Soap on a Rope.Copy !req
136. All right.! Well, that's it.Copy !req
137. I hope you enjoyed it.Copy !req
138. That's it for Win, Lose or Draw.Copy !req
139. Until tomorrow, this is Angel saying...Copy !req
140. "Keep drawing, even if it's only scratch marks
on the inside of your cell wall."Copy !req
141. ddCopy !req
142. I know why you're ignoring me.Copy !req
143. It's because I'm just little Marsha Warfield.Copy !req
144. But you see, Todd, I'm drinking milk.Copy !req
145. And when you drink milk...Copy !req
146. it helps to build your bones
and make your body stronger.Copy !req
147. That way I won't always
be little Marsha Warfield.Copy !req
148. In fact, if I keep drinking milk...Copy !req
149. one day,
I'm going to be big Marsha Warfield.Copy !req
150. You understand what I'm saying, sucker?Copy !req
151. As a matter of fact, I think when I am...Copy !req
152. I'm just gonna kick the livin' crap out of you.Copy !req
153. Come over here. Where you get off...Copy !req
154. ignoring me all these years...Copy !req
155. huh, you little punk?Copy !req
156. Don't you know how sexy I am?Copy !req
157. Milk... it does a body real good.Copy !req
158. And so the progress up to this point...Copy !req
159. has been about what we expected...Copy !req
160. and we expect this progression
to progress the way we expect it to...Copy !req
161. at least, that is, our expectation
as to this point in the overall progress.Copy !req
162. - Are there any more questions?
- We have heard rumors
of massive troop movements.Copy !req
163. Can you tell us anything about that?Copy !req
164. I can neither confirm nor deny that. Next?Copy !req
165. Why do you still consider men missing...Copy !req
166. when we've all seen them
as prisoners of war on TV?Copy !req
167. I believe I didn't answer that question
at yesterday's briefing.Copy !req
168. - Is the gulf still being mined?
- Admiral Keating?Copy !req
169. Could you repeat the question, please?Copy !req
170. - Is the gulf still being mined?
- Could you repeat it again, please?Copy !req
171. - Is the gulf still being mined?
- No comment.Copy !req
172. Can you give us any more information
on the bomb damage assessment?Copy !req
173. I believe we have a video
to help illustrate this.Copy !req
174. As you can clearly see,
this is a plane flying somewhere.Copy !req
175. It drops something and something happens.Copy !req
176. There is a thing there. And then afterwards,
there may or may not be a thing there.Copy !req
177. I hope that clears everything up.Copy !req
178. I have a two-part question.Copy !req
179. What would it take to end the war...Copy !req
180. and will the U.S. Accept a post-war Iraq...Copy !req
181. with Saddam Hussein still in power?Copy !req
182. I think I can answer that in two ways.
Number one...Copy !req
183. that's for me to know and you to find out.Copy !req
184. And number two,
ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies...Copy !req
185. your nose is big enough
for a girl twice your size.Copy !req
186. Would you ever use nuclear weapons?Copy !req
187. I'm not gonna tell, your feet smell...Copy !req
188. ask me again, you can go to hell.Copy !req
189. That's about all the questions
we have time not to answer today.Copy !req
190. The attaches will be
handing out printed copies...Copy !req
191. of all the information we didn't give you.Copy !req
192. There will be another briefing tomorrow...Copy !req
193. and we will be prepared to not answer
any more questions you have then.Copy !req
194. - Sir, what time?
- We'd rather not say.Copy !req
195. This has been
a particularly non-informative briefing.Copy !req
196. We'll be right back to recap
everything they didn't say...Copy !req
197. next on C.N.N.Copy !req
198. dd [Hip-Hop]Copy !req
199. You said yourself you don't know
how to speak to these people.Copy !req
200. This guy is from here.
They trust him.Copy !req
201. He speaks their language.Copy !req
202. Well...Copy !req
203. I guess B.B. King worked for Atwater.Copy !req
204. Okay, let's do it.Copy !req
205. Helmsly! Helmsly! Helmsly!Copy !req
206. Hey, y'all!Copy !req
207. I've been your senator now
for about seven years...Copy !req
208. and, uh, with a little help from you...Copy !req
209. I'll be your senator
for another seven years.Copy !req
210. - How about that?Copy !req
211. Sure, you can applaud for that!Copy !req
212. You know,
I could go on forever out here...Copy !req
213. but I think it's time
for a little musical entertainment.Copy !req
214. I'd like to introduce
a very talented songwriter...Copy !req
215. and a dear, dear friend of mine...Copy !req
216. Mr. Calhoun Tibbs!Copy !req
217. Thank you!
Thank you very much. All right!Copy !req
218. Thank you. All right. Thank you.Copy !req
219. And the name is Tubbs.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
220. - About time you changed that.
- Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
221. I ain't runnin' for no public office...Copy !req
222. so I can tell the truth.Copy !req
223. Now, look here,
I've been in this neighborhood over 35 years.Copy !req
224. Seen 'em come and go. And I done known
the senator ever since he first come up.Copy !req
225. See, to make it in politics,
you got to have a gimmick.Copy !req
226. The senator got him a gimmick... me.Copy !req
227. Matter of fact, he started my career
by giving me my first job.Copy !req
228. Wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it go.Copy !req
229. d I shined Senator Helmsly's
shoes for a penny dCopy !req
230. d Ain't never got paid
Uh-huh dCopy !req
231. Thank you very much. All right.Copy !req
232. All right. Now, you know what?Copy !req
233. I know some of y'all say the good senator
don't care about the little people.Copy !req
234. But I know that ain't true...Copy !req
235. 'cause this man here, he own five buildings
right here in this neighborhood.Copy !req
236. And he always take a personal interest...Copy !req
237. in every one of his tenants.Copy !req
238. Wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it go.Copy !req
239. d Now, the senator
is my landlord dCopy !req
240. d I seen him throw old ladies
out in the gutter, uh-huh dCopy !req
241. - Thank you very much! All right!Copy !req
242. But look here. You know what?Copy !req
243. I always tell the little babies...Copy !req
244. "Stay off the junk and you'll go far."Copy !req
245. See, that's what's so amazing
about this man right here.Copy !req
246. From the minute he took office...Copy !req
247. he always got himself
personally involved in the war on the drugs.Copy !req
248. He even started his own drug program.Copy !req
249. I ain't write no song about that,
but I think I could right now.Copy !req
250. Like to hear it? Here it go.Copy !req
251. d The senator
knows about drugs dCopy !req
252. d He been a dope-head
for 30 yearsdCopy !req
253. - d Uh-huh dCopy !req
254. - Thank you very much!
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
255. Uh, that does not effect
my decision-making in any way.Copy !req
256. Now, you know what? I know
some of y'all done heard them nasty rumors...Copy !req
257. about the senator
running around with other women.Copy !req
258. But I'm here to tell you,
now I know for a fact that ain't true.Copy !req
259. That is not true.
That senator would never touch no female.Copy !req
260. Wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it go.Copy !req
261. d The senator don't fool around
with no women dCopy !req
262. d He prefers men
who dress in leather dCopy !req
263. - d Uh-huh dCopy !req
264. Thank you very much! All right.Copy !req
265. They were all consenting adults!Copy !req
266. - Everyone of them!Copy !req
267. - [Talking, Indistinct]Copy !req
268. Just go and have a seat.Copy !req
269. Thank you for your deposit here
at First Intrastate Sperm Bank.Copy !req
270. - Okay, nobody move! This is a hold up!
- Hey! Wha... What?Copy !req
271. - Hey. Listen...
- No, you listen!Copy !req
272. I'm your worst nightmare.Copy !req
273. I'm 39, I'm childless, and I'm ovulating!Copy !req
274. So you give me Denzel Washington's
deposit right now!Copy !req
275. Listen, um, um, l-I'm sorry...Copy !req
276. but Denzel Washington
doesn't have an account here.Copy !req
277. Look, uh, we've got Milli Vanilli.Copy !req
278. That could be anybody's!
What else you got?Copy !req
279. - Listen, we've gotJames Worthy somewhere.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
280. You and everybody else! Now, stop stalling!Copy !req
281. You know, there are more conventional ways
to go about this.Copy !req
282. And I've tried them all!
I tried the personal ads.Copy !req
283. I tried the prison pen pals.Copy !req
284. Girl, I was on the Love Connection
five times...Copy !req
285. and only four percent
of the audience voted for me.Copy !req
286. Well, l-I'm sure it's gonna be okay.Copy !req
287. - Just... We'll cooperate, just relax. Calm down.Copy !req
288. All right, Mama! I'm coming! Just wait!Copy !req
289. Look, you don't understand, girl.Copy !req
290. My biological time clock
went off two years ago. Two years ago!Copy !req
291. So if I don't leave here with some swollen ankles
and a pickle in my mouth...Copy !req
292. I'm gonna take out the whole sports collection.Copy !req
293. Hey, hey. Why don't you just take me
and let the specimens go free?Copy !req
294. Oh, yeah. That's what I need, huh?Copy !req
295. Some man
whose idea of a romantic evening...Copy !req
296. is sittin' home pickin' out his toe jam?Copy !req
297. Oh, come on, lady! Just take him and go!Copy !req
298. We was having so much fun
till you showed up!Copy !req
299. I'm ain't leaving with nobody
who's dating a Dixie cup!Copy !req
300. Go ahead, rub it in!Copy !req
301. You know, I haven't been with a woman
in a long time, all right?Copy !req
302. My water bed has barnacles growing on it!Copy !req
303. You know how boring my life is?
I saw you on Love Connection all five times.Copy !req
304. - Hell, I even voted for you!
- You did?Copy !req
305. Except for the time your mother
came up and backhanded Chuck,
but, I mean, other than that...Copy !req
306. - And you like me? You really like me?
- You know that's right.Copy !req
307. Excuse me. Do you think you can please
take this elsewhere? This is a place of business.Copy !req
308. - Oh, baby. Yeah.
- Come on. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
309. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.Copy !req
310. I just saved the world from another generation
of New Kids on the Block.Copy !req
311. dd [Hip-Hop]Copy !req
312. Told ya. We were back in two and two.Copy !req
313. Welcome back to Love Connection.Copy !req
314. If I'm not Chuck Woolery,
why am I sleeping with his wife?Copy !req
315. Let's meet our next couple,
back to tell us how their date went.Copy !req
316. She's a controversial comedienne
who knows what she wants from a guy...Copy !req
317. Andrea Dice Clay!Copy !req
318. - Hi, Andrea.
- Yeah. Kiss, kiss.Copy !req
319. Hey, Chuck, I, uh,
made a little rhyme for you backstage.Copy !req
320. It goes something like this.Copy !req
321. Chuck, Chuck, bo-buck,
banana-fanna-fo...Copy !req
322. - Okay!
- Whatever.Copy !req
323. He considers himself a sensitive guy...Copy !req
324. and a man who treats his date like a lady...Copy !req
325. even though he's a major movie star.Copy !req
326. Say hello to Patrick Swayze!Copy !req
327. Hello, Chuck.Copy !req
328. I just want to say
that I watch this show often and, well...Copy !req
329. I love you, man.Copy !req
330. That's great, Patrick.Copy !req
331. Andrea might be a little more receptive
to that love, however.Copy !req
332. - What about it, Andrea?
- Chuck, you know something...Copy !req
333. I'm not looking for love, you know?Copy !req
334. Just sh...
And get out the outta my face.Copy !req
335. See? It's that very attitude
that made our date such a disaster, Chuck.Copy !req
336. What disaster?
I thought it went pretty good.Copy !req
337. I mean, we both finished. Ho!Copy !req
338. How did the date begin, Pat?Copy !req
339. I wanted to take her dancing.Copy !req
340. - I like to think of myself
as a pretty good dancer.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
341. - I was the star of Dirty Dancing and...
- Yeah.Copy !req
342. You call that dancing?Copy !req
343. In that case, my dog does plenty of dancing
with my couch pillows...Copy !req
344. only he's got a,
you know what I'm saying?Copy !req
345. See what I mean, Chuck?
She's an animal!Copy !req
346. Oh, stop your whining and complaining.Copy !req
347. I'm the one with the carpet burns
on my ...Copy !req
348. for crying out loud!Copy !req
349. She's got a point there, Pat.Copy !req
350. Hey, I got two of'em, Chuckie.
I seen you looking. What?Copy !req
351. - Maybe we should turn up the heat in the studio.Copy !req
352. Chuck, I'm into martial arts.Copy !req
353. - I've got an incredible body.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
354. I'm practically a god,
with these streaks and tips in my hair.Copy !req
355. - Yeah.
- But I'm also sensitive.Copy !req
356. - Mm.
- I only wanted to show Miss Clay...Copy !req
357. the finer points of the city.Copy !req
358. Oh, come on! I showed you places
on your ceiling you ain't ever seen.Copy !req
359. - Ho!
- Well, it looks like Andrea...Copy !req
360. wanted Patrick
to live up to his screen image...Copy !req
361. while Patrick obviously expected
to date within his own species.Copy !req
362. I'm killin' myself.Copy !req
363. Let's see who our audience picked for Andrea.Copy !req
364. Was it Patrick, Pete Townshend...Copy !req
365. or GraceJones?Copy !req
366. Well, the audience still picked Patrick...Copy !req
367. so if you two'd like to go out again,
we'll pay for it.Copy !req
368. Sure, what the hell.
I'll do honey buns again...Copy !req
369. if he'll cut his hair in a flat top...Copy !req
370. so I got someplace to set my drink...Copy !req
371. when, you know what I'm saying?Copy !req
372. What?Copy !req
373. Looks like it's up to you, Patrick.Copy !req
374. Do you want to go out with Andrea again?Copy !req
375. - My mama didn't raise no quitter, Chuck.
- Well, there you have it.Copy !req
376. See you next week. In the meantime...Copy !req
377. may all of your dates be major
and your carpet burns be minor.Copy !req
378. Skippy, could you do us a favor?Copy !req
379. - Tell them what to do.Copy !req
380. - [Cheering, Applause]Copy !req
381. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req