1. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
2. d In living colordCopy !req
3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
4. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
5. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
8. - d Take it from me, it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
11. d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street dCopy !req
12. d In living colordCopy !req
13. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
14. d In living colordCopy !req
15. d In living colordCopy !req
16. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
17. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
18. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
19. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
20. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
21. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
22. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
23. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
24. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
25. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
26. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
27. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
28. - d Take it from me, it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
29. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colorddCopy !req
30. Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenen Ivory Wayans.Copy !req
31. Thank you. Thank you.
Welcome to the show.Copy !req
32. Um, they left again.Copy !req
33. Get back here.
Come here.Copy !req
34. The Fly Girls,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
35. How about a hand
for my deejay, SW1?Copy !req
36. All right. Well, once again,
it's our turn to make you laugh...Copy !req
37. so sit back
for about a half.Copy !req
38. We'll get into trouble.
See ya.Copy !req
39. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
40. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
41. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
42. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
43. - d Take it from me, it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
44. Commissioner, why did Arizona say no
to the Martin Luther King holiday?Copy !req
45. Well, uh, as you know...Copy !req
46. we put it to the voters...Copy !req
47. and they voted it down, uh,
50% to 49%.Copy !req
48. - Will the Super Bowl be held here?
- And what about the Fiesta Bowl?Copy !req
49. Isn't it true Arizona faces a total boycott
of black athletes and celebrities?Copy !req
50. Why, no, that's not true at all.
As a matter of fact...Copy !req
51. we have two well-known black celebrities
who have agreed to be our spokesmen...Copy !req
52. men who have their finger on the pulse
of the black community.Copy !req
53. I'd like to introduce them now. Here are
Tom and Tom, the Brothers brothers.Copy !req
54. - Yee-haw!
- Yippie-ki-yay!Copy !req
55. - Hey, bro, give me five!
- Uh, that's all I've got.Copy !req
56. I hope you return it!Copy !req
57. Oh, how about
our instruments, eh?Copy !req
58. Thank you, gents.Copy !req
59. - Kick it off, Tom.
- ddCopy !req
60. d Come to Arizona
the Grand Canyon state dCopy !req
61. d And don't be put off
by this racial debate dCopy !req
62. d The folks here aren't racist
I know this is true dCopy !req
63. d They still show TheJeffersons
on channel two ddCopy !req
64. Excuse me. We didn't come here
to see a nightclub act.Copy !req
65. I still wanna know why Arizona
doesn't have a King holiday.Copy !req
66. Well, why should we give
Don King a holiday?Copy !req
67. I mean, he can't even
comb his hair straight!Copy !req
68. That's right. I mean, he's made some great
advancements in the world of boxing, but...Copy !req
69. We're talking about
Martin Luther King.Copy !req
70. - Who?
- Is... Is he any relation...Copy !req
71. to Alan King or Stephen King
or BillieJean King?Copy !req
72. The civil rights leader!Copy !req
73. - Martin...
- King.Copy !req
74. - Ah! Abernathy's friend! Sure, sure!
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
75. Well, he was certainly
a nice gentlemen, but, um...Copy !req
76. I guess just another holiday
would be so inconvenient.Copy !req
77. I mean, the banks would be closed,
you couldn't get your mail. You know.Copy !req
78. Exactly. And I don't think
that's how he would have wanted it.Copy !req
79. - No.
- I mean, l... I've got it.Copy !req
80. I say we celebrate
from midnight to 8:00 a.m.Copy !req
81. I mean, after all, isn't that what
he's famous for... having a dream?Copy !req
82. That's right.
He had a dream.Copy !req
83. Or we could just have a...
a white sale or something.Copy !req
84. - That's a great idea. I'd be there.
- I'm sure you would.Copy !req
85. But don't you think the Arizona voters
were insensitive?Copy !req
86. - Insensitive, my left boot.
- Come on.Copy !req
87. I mean, Arizonians are always looking
for a way to help you out.Copy !req
88. Why, the police pulled us over three times just
to make sure we knew where we were going.Copy !req
89. - That's right.
- They even gave us this
great, big hug around the neck.Copy !req
90. Wouldn't let go.Copy !req
91. I mean, we thought we were gonna die
from all the affection!Copy !req
92. Yeah. You've still got some burns
around your neck from all that affection.Copy !req
93. - So don't give me any of that
doohickey nonsense!
- Tom, watch your mouth.Copy !req
94. - No, I'm tired of this frankenturtle bull dookey.
- Ow!Copy !req
95. I've never heard him talk
like this before.Copy !req
96. - You talk about hospitality.
I'm gonna tell 'em about last night.
- Tell 'em about last night.Copy !req
97. We get home late last night,
and I'll be gosh darned if the Arizonians...Copy !req
98. didn't light a nice, big fire on our lawn
so we could find our keys.Copy !req
99. Yes, they did.Copy !req
100. d So it's hidey-hey
and a-yippie-ki-yay dCopy !req
101. d We love Arizona
and we're here to say dCopy !req
102. d Please don't think the worst
of the average gent dCopy !req
103. d 'Cause they're not all bigots
Just fifty percent dCopy !req
104. d 'Cause they're not all bigots
Just fifty percent ddCopy !req
105. - Good white!
- Good white, everybody!Copy !req
106. Yee-haw!Copy !req
107. K- Tel presents the man of the Middle East...Copy !req
108. the Elvis of Akaba,
Johnny Abdul.!Copy !req
109. ddCopy !req
110. Every amazing hit he's ever sung is now
included in this new dual-album set.Copy !req
111. Unforgettable hits like
"You Ain't Nothin'But A Hostage."Copy !req
112. ddCopy !req
113. And if you act now, you'll get
"Kuwait a Minute, Mr. Postman,"Copy !req
114. "Stairway to Mecca,"Beirut Suede Shoes,"
"Heartbreak Hussein,"Copy !req
115. "Papa's Got a Brand New Baghdad,"
"I Left My Hand in San Francisco."Copy !req
116. And who could forget
his beautiful love ballad...Copy !req
117. "Love Me Tender
Or Die Slowly"?Copy !req
118. ddCopy !req
119. - dd
- ddCopy !req
120. ddCopy !req
121. And, of course,
his biggest hit ever...Copy !req
122. the show-stopping
"Iraq Around the Clock."Copy !req
123. ddCopy !req
124. All these hits
and many, many more.Copy !req
125. Send $ 13.95 to...Copy !req
126. Are you ready to rock?Copy !req
127. ddCopy !req
128. Except for Vincent Van Gogh.
Isn't that amazing?Copy !req
129. Oh, there are the children
I told you about.Copy !req
130. They are so cute.Copy !req
131. It's gonna be very difficult to decide
which one to adopt, honey.Copy !req
132. - Isn't it, though?
- Come on, Mom and Dad. Let's go.Copy !req
133. Come on, man, I already got my stuff packed.
The car's running. Let's go! Chop, chop.Copy !req
134. Or is it more like a European thing,
you guys... uh, Mama and Papa?Copy !req
135. Or do we have one of those postmodern
child-parent relationships, huh, Ted, Anne?Copy !req
136. - Who are you?
- George is one of our older children.Copy !req
137. - How old is George?
- He's 35.Copy !req
138. - And he'd better start acting his age!
- Yes, Miss Claw.Copy !req
139. You mean he's been waiting
35 years to get adopted?Copy !req
140. You know, some children
are just slower to adopt than others.Copy !req
141. Well, you know, I've been waiting
for the right parents... you.Copy !req
142. Look, I'm gonna leave you two here to get
acquainted with the other children, okay?Copy !req
143. - Yeah.
- George, leave the Gleasons alone.Copy !req
144. - Yes, Miss Claw.
- Hey.Copy !req
145. Look at this little guy.
I think he's gonna be a basketball star.Copy !req
146. Slam-dunkin' it!Copy !req
147. Where's your five year old now, man?
You're eaten up, that's where.Copy !req
148. All right. Who's next?
Come on, Pop. One-to-one. Let's go.Copy !req
149. - Uh, George...
- Come on, man.!Copy !req
150. I think we're just gonna take
a little look around, all right?Copy !req
151. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- See... S-See Spot...Copy !req
152. - Here's a smart little guy.
He's already learning to read.
- Yeah.Copy !req
153. "He slowly moved his hand
down her thigh.Copy !req
154. She quivered in ecstasy."Copy !req
155. S-See Spot r-r...Copy !req
156. I think the word that the little genius
is looking for is "run"!Copy !req
157. - Honey, think of how much we could teach him.
- Yeah.Copy !req
158. Man, you can teach me.
Come on.Copy !req
159. "A,"B," uh, "D"...Copy !req
160. - Come on, man, help me out.
I don't know what's next.
- George, George...Copy !req
161. it's obvious that you're
a very talented man.Copy !req
162. - Gifted, even.
- Thank you.Copy !req
163. But, you see,
we want to adopt a child...Copy !req
164. - someone who will do all the
little things a child can do.Copy !req
165. Oh, honey.
Let's adopt a baby.Copy !req
166. Look, she's drooling.
That's so adorable.Copy !req
167. Adorable?
What, you think drooling is adorable?Copy !req
168. - You're gonna love this.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
169. Uh-oh, I think someone
just had a little accident.Copy !req
170. - Dad, I think I'm gonna have to...
- Don't even think about it!Copy !req
171. Stand up.Copy !req
172. What do you want from us?Copy !req
173. I... I just wanna...Copy !req
174. have what
everybody else had...Copy !req
175. a mommy and a daddy
who'll love them.Copy !req
176. And just a small chance...Copy !req
177. for the happiness
I never knew.Copy !req
178. Yale School of Drama, 1978.Copy !req
179. - You're a lunatic.
- You know, it's funny.
My ex-wife once said that too.Copy !req
180. - Your ex-wife?
- That's it! We're taking this one.Copy !req
181. - Let's go.
- Don't try to follow us, George.Copy !req
182. There they are.Copy !req
183. - George, stay away from the Ericksons.
- Yes, Miss Claw.Copy !req
184. Mom! Dad!
Or is it kind of like a street thing?Copy !req
185. Yo, Mom! Yo, Pop!
What's up?Copy !req
186. Boy-ee!Copy !req
187. Love ya.Copy !req
188. ddCopy !req
189. Hi. You must be
Velma Mulholland.Copy !req
190. That's right, kid.
Got a cigarette, Johnny?Copy !req
191. No, I don't smoke.
Sorry.Copy !req
192. Stick around, bright boy.
I'll teach ya a few things.Copy !req
193. Oh, really? Well, uh, listen,
my name is actually Eddie.Copy !req
194. Eddie, Johnny,
kid, bright boy...Copy !req
195. It's a big world out there.
What's in a name?Copy !req
196. That's hip.
Um...Copy !req
197. Listen, my man Steve
told me a lot about you.Copy !req
198. Said you're a party girl
and you're kind of old-fashioned.Copy !req
199. Lies, all lies,
I tell you.Copy !req
200. Sure, maybe I hung with the wrong crowd and
skipped Sunday school, but I'm not all bad.Copy !req
201. No. He said good things
about you. He said that...Copy !req
202. you know, besides you lookin' good,
he said that, you know...Copy !req
203. you worked at the five and 10, got a jobsky
and, you know, you like old movies.Copy !req
204. Sure, I see a picture show
now and again.Copy !req
205. It helps to pass the time when your heart's
been broken in so many pieces...Copy !req
206. it feels as though you'll never
see the light of day.Copy !req
207. Hey, uh, why don't we just
talk all this over over dinner...Copy !req
208. and some movies
or something?Copy !req
209. - Aw, Johnny, you're a sweet kid.
- I am?Copy !req
210. But don't you see?
It'd never work.Copy !req
211. I'm no good for ya, Johnny. I'd be trouble from
the word go. Hell, my middle name is trouble.Copy !req
212. But not you, Johnny.
You've got a shot at something really big.Copy !req
213. You're gonna make
something of yourself.Copy !req
214. I'm gonna be somebody?Copy !req
215. Johnny, don't you see?
We're from two different worlds.Copy !req
216. You're real top-drawer,
head of the list, cream of the crop.Copy !req
217. I'm nothing but a washed-up has-been
workin' in a dime-a-dance saloon.Copy !req
218. Steve said you worked
at the five and 10.Copy !req
219. Five and 10,
dime-a-dance.Copy !req
220. Can't ya see, Johnny, I'm trying to knock
some sense into that lunkhead of yours.Copy !req
221. I'm no good for you.
No good, I tell you.Copy !req
222. Oh, Johnny, you deserve that stone cottage
with the picket fence and the shady oak tree.Copy !req
223. If you stick around with me, kid, they'll
ruin your life just like they've ruined mine.Copy !req
224. Hey, look, is it
the black-and-white thing?Copy !req
225. - Because you should've said that up front.
- All right, Johnny.Copy !req
226. You've forced me to say it.Copy !req
227. I hate you.Copy !req
228. You hear me? I hate you.
I hate you! I despise you!Copy !req
229. If I never see that puppy dog face
around here again, it'll be too soon.Copy !req
230. Now beat it.
Scram!Copy !req
231. I'd better get out of here, 'cause you can't
be hittin' a brother like that.Copy !req
232. Johnny!Copy !req
233. Johnny!Copy !req
234. That's right, Johnny.Copy !req
235. Save yourself.Copy !req
236. Run just as fast
as your legs will carry you.Copy !req
237. Run to the ends of the earth if you have to,
only don't look back...Copy !req
238. because I won't be here.Copy !req
239. But I love you,
ya big palooka!Copy !req
240. Here we are.
Funky Finger Productions.Copy !req
241. We are now in business.Copy !req
242. - Hello.
- Oh. L-Look busy.Copy !req
243. - Okay.
- Conference call.Copy !req
244. Now, don't
get me wrong, now.Copy !req
245. Nell Carter is a gigantic talent.
Humongous.Copy !req
246. But look here.
What we're looking for, home skillet...Copy !req
247. is somebody who looks
like Cicely Tyson...Copy !req
248. and sings like Peabo Bryson,
ya know?Copy !req
249. Quincy, Stop playin'.
Fresh Prince is gonna be all right.Copy !req
250. This here's long-distance.Copy !req
251. I'm here
to hook up your phones.Copy !req
252. Now, ain't that a blip?Copy !req
253. Excuse me. I thought
we had a bad connection.Copy !req
254. Finally, I found you!Copy !req
255. Ah, Mr. Iritani.
Look here.Copy !req
256. I'm Clavell,
and this here's my partner.Copy !req
257. Howard Tibbs III.
How you feelin'?Copy !req
258. - Look just like Al Green.
- Don't he?Copy !req
259. And we are Funky Finger Productions!Copy !req
260. Now look here. Let me give you
one of my business cards.Copy !req
261. You know, I'm fresh out.
Howard?Copy !req
262. Bam!Copy !req
263. Look here.
Pay no attention to this...Copy !req
264. because that's my mother's
recipe for succotash, all right?Copy !req
265. This is my sister Clorine's number
on the back in pink crayon.Copy !req
266. Okay? Give her a call anytime.
She down with it.Copy !req
267. But look here, if her boyfriend Beaudrow
answers, you just better hang up.Copy !req
268. Listen, guys.
I want my car.Copy !req
269. Now, look here. You seemed a little
attitudinal with our unctuous behavior...Copy !req
270. when you met us
outside of Spago's last night.Copy !req
271. Now, dig that. But that valet gig
is just a way for us to spot new talent.Copy !req
272. That's right. You know,
I didn't want to bring this up, chief...Copy !req
273. but you forgot to tip me,
ya know?Copy !req
274. A tip? You gave me the keys
to the wrong car.Copy !req
275. Look, I just came here to get my Mercedes,
and I want it now.Copy !req
276. Now, we know you Japanese
bought up Columbia and Universal...Copy !req
277. And it's not that we ain't down with
the Asians. "Arigate."Copy !req
278. But we figured it was only a matter of time
before y'all came after Funky Finger.Copy !req
279. - Dig that.
- I thought I explained to you last night...Copy !req
280. that I'm not
in show business.Copy !req
281. Well, that ain't nothing but a meatball.
Excuse me.Copy !req
282. 'Cause we got a sweet deal for you.
You won't believe this.Copy !req
283. Sit down, brother. Howard, it's time
to unveil our marketing plan.Copy !req
284. Bam!Copy !req
285. All right, now.
Now, say we sign a major artist...Copy !req
286. like a, uh,
Freddy Fender.Copy !req
287. Okay?
Sign him for a record deal.Copy !req
288. - For how much?
- A ducat.Copy !req
289. Sell every record
for how much?Copy !req
290. A million records,
that makes a million ducats.Copy !req
291. Say what?Copy !req
292. Freddy Fender's right on top with
David Cassidy. You hear what I'm saying?Copy !req
293. - Look, I'm not interested in record deals.
- Movie deal!Copy !req
294. - I just want my car!
- Movies. See?Copy !req
295. Now, look here, homey.
What we got here...Copy !req
296. is a sure-fire
box office smash-ola.Copy !req
297. Now, see, it's a cross between
The Poseidon Adventure and Dirty Dancing.Copy !req
298. See, we think the time is right
for a, uh, water ballet disaster film.Copy !req
299. Clavey, give him the goods,
could ya?Copy !req
300. I'm just gonna give him a taste.
Gotta pay for the rest.Copy !req
301. Oh, you're gonna
leave me hangin'.Copy !req
302. Ain't that right?Copy !req
303. Okay. We're rollin', homey.
Oh, no! It's a tidal wave!Copy !req
304. Come on, now. Pull back.
See? There it goes!Copy !req
305. There it goes. See?Copy !req
306. I'm drowning, but I'm dancing. Look here.
I'm drowning, but I'm dancing.Copy !req
307. Look at this here.Copy !req
308. I'm drownin', but I'm dancin'.
I'm drownin'.Copy !req
309. - He's sellin'this one, chief.
- I'm dancin'!Copy !req
310. And Godzilla can be
implemented quite easily...Copy !req
311. - as you can see.
- I knew you'd love that.Copy !req
312. Your five minutes is up.Copy !req
313. I just want my car,
or I'll call the police.Copy !req
314. - Hey, you ain't gotta do that!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Look here!Copy !req
315. We got the contracts in our Pinto,
right next to the Cheez Doodles.Copy !req
316. Look here. Shall we give Bruce Lee
a little taste on the sound track?Copy !req
317. Just a little tiny bit.
ddCopy !req
318. - d I'm dancin' d
- d I'm drownin' dCopy !req
319. d I'm dancin'
I'm drownin dCopy !req
320. Temptations walk.Copy !req
321. Get it.
Drop down in the pocket.Copy !req
322. And this one's
for free, homey.Copy !req
323. ddCopy !req
324. Blood pressure's stable
at 120 over 70.Copy !req
325. Doc! How's my partner?
Is he gonna pull through?Copy !req
326. He's in pretty bad shape.
Take a look for yourself.Copy !req
327. Oh, my God!Copy !req
328. Look... Look, Doc...Copy !req
329. do whatever you gotta do, man,
but please make him whole again!Copy !req
330. - We can rebuild him. We have the technology.
- Thank God.Copy !req
331. It's gonna cost you
six million dollars.Copy !req
332. Six million dollars? The department
doesn't have that kind of money!Copy !req
333. - Fifteen thousand.
- Look.Copy !req
334. I got um,
19, 20, 21, 22...Copy !req
335. 25, 28, um, 45.Copy !req
336. All right?
That's 28.45.Copy !req
337. I can't promise anything,
but we'll try.Copy !req
338. He'll be a lot shorter
and a little slower...Copy !req
339. - but at least he'll be alive.
- Thanks, man.Copy !req
340. We gotta get you
out of here.Copy !req
341. Hang in there, partner.Copy !req
342. Coming this spring
to a theater near you...Copy !req
343. The Head
always gets his man.!Copy !req
344. Let's just forget it, man.
He's too far away. We'll never catch him.Copy !req
345. - Throw me at him.
- What?Copy !req
346. Just throw me at him.
I can do it.Copy !req
347. - No way, man. Too dangerous.
- Just do it!Copy !req
348. Aah!
Watch my brain!Copy !req
349. - Way to go, Head.!
- Freeze, slimeball!Copy !req
350. Don't make me chase you
any further.Copy !req
351. And women find him irresistible.Copy !req
352. Yes! You've got incredible hands
and feet, you animal, you.Copy !req
353. Oh, Detective Head...Copy !req
354. I never dreamed
it could be like this.Copy !req
355. Well, you know what they say, baby...
It's not what a man's got...Copy !req
356. it's how he uses it
that counts.Copy !req
357. - Stop tickling my feet.Copy !req
358. The Head Detective.Copy !req
359. Coming this spring
to a theater near you.Copy !req
360. Thank you for hanging out
one more time.Copy !req
361. Taking us home tonight,
Motown recording artist Rich Nice.Copy !req
362. Oh, yeah.
Here we go. Come on.Copy !req
363. Clap your hands. Everybody.
Come on, clap.Copy !req
364. Clap your hands like this.
All the ladies check it out.Copy !req
365. You know what?Copy !req
366. ddCopy !req
367. All the ladies in the house tonight,
check this out. Come on.Copy !req
368. - All the ladies say, "Ow."
- Ow!Copy !req
369. Say, "Ow, ow."Copy !req
370. - Everybody say, "Rich Nice."
- Rich Nice!Copy !req
371. - Say, "Rich Nice."
- Rich Nice!Copy !req
372. - Say, "Rich Nice."
- Rich Nice!Copy !req
373. - Now, scream!Copy !req
374. Just wave them hands like this. Everybody.
Come on. Wave them hands.Copy !req
375. That's right. Come on.
Just wave them hands.Copy !req
376. Everybody, let me hear you say,
"We came to the party."Copy !req
377. - We came to the party.
- Check it out.Copy !req
378. For In Living Color,
we gonna break it down like this.Copy !req
379. We go one, you go two.
Check it out.Copy !req
380. One, two, three...
Break it down.Copy !req
381. Oh, yeah. Check it out.
Everybody in the house...Copy !req
382. let me hear you say,
"In Living Color."Copy !req
383. In Living Color.Copy !req
384. Everybody say,
"In Living Color." Come on!Copy !req
385. In Living Color.Copy !req
386. Come on, clap.
Clap your hands. Come on.Copy !req
387. Come on, clap. Clap your hands.
Everybody say...Copy !req