1. Hi, I'm Julie from the
In Living Color switchboard.Copy !req
2. - I'm about to let you in on an incredible offer.Copy !req
3. If you call me now,
for just $39.95...Copy !req
4. Fox Television will send you
this genuine Afro-phone...Copy !req
5. made from the finest
polystyrene plastic.Copy !req
6. And if you call right now,
we'll send along absolutely free...Copy !req
7. In Living Color's outtakes,
bloopers and blunders.Copy !req
8. Oh, my God!
Look what happened...Copy !req
9. by accident!Copy !req
10. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
11. d In living colordCopy !req
12. d In living colordCopy !req
13. Operators are standing by.
SW1, kick it.Copy !req
14. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
15. d In living colordCopy !req
16. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
17. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
18. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
19. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
20. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
21. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
22. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
23. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
24. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
25. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
26. d In living colordCopy !req
27. d In living colordCopy !req
28. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
29. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
30. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
31. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
32. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
33. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
34. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
35. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
36. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
37. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
38. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
39. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
40. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
41. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colorddCopy !req
42. First, Lou Ferrigno was The Incredible Hulk.Copy !req
43. Then Arnold Schwarzenegger
was Conan.Copy !req
44. And now, world champion
female bodybuilder Vera De Milo...Copy !req
45. explodes upon the screen as...Copy !req
46. Veracosa,
Mistress of Destruction.Copy !req
47. Watch Vera's biceps bulge...Copy !req
48. as she summons
the spirit Dianabol.Copy !req
49. Watch her belly bulge
as she lets loose the wind of the gods.Copy !req
50. You'll marvel at all
of Vera's incredible bulges.Copy !req
51. Yaah! Whoa!Copy !req
52. What's a girl to do?Copy !req
53. Yaah! Whoo!Copy !req
54. Yaah!Copy !req
55. Thanks
for hangin' around.Copy !req
56. Hey. No fair.Copy !req
57. Ow!Copy !req
58. Ah!Copy !req
59. At last we meet,
my dreaded Veracosa.Copy !req
60. I am Kee-Man
of the Hanna-Barberians.Copy !req
61. I am he that must
vanquish thee from thine.Copy !req
62. Therefore, I am, I must.Copy !req
63. I don't understand
a word you're saying.Copy !req
64. What kind of language
is that?Copy !req
65. It is the tongue
of my native land, Dyslexia.Copy !req
66. Now, say you'll be
my bride.Copy !req
67. And together we will rule
the Erudites.Copy !req
68. You are brave
as well as beautiful.Copy !req
69. That excites me.Copy !req
70. You shall never taste
my ambrosia, Kee-Man.Copy !req
71. - For I am Veracosa...Copy !req
72. of British Caledonia,
keeper of Nautilus...Copy !req
73. and deceptor
of urinalysis.Copy !req
74. Very well.Copy !req
75. Then what
I cannot have...Copy !req
76. take it I shall.Copy !req
77. Yes. I shall unleash
the mammaries...Copy !req
78. - that kings and princes have died for.Copy !req
79. I can't believe
you just did that!Copy !req
80. I am so humiliated!Copy !req
81. Now you've asked for it.Copy !req
82. No! No, not
the poison pit.Copy !req
83. - Oh! Oh, no!
- Sleep well, Kee-Man.Copy !req
84. Let that be a lesson
to all those who practice evil.Copy !req
85. When you mess
with my breasts...Copy !req
86. you die like the rest!Copy !req
87. Vera! Vera! Vera! Vera!Copy !req
88. Veracosa, Mistress of Destruction...Copy !req
89. coming soon
to a theater near you.Copy !req
90. They drove you crazy
with their top-500 hit "We Tight."Copy !req
91. They revolutionized dinner theater
with their show...Copy !req
92. Please Don't Chew
With Your Mouth Open.Copy !req
93. And now, Cephus and Reesie
sing all your holiday favorites...Copy !req
94. including their 24-minute
version of'Deck the Halls."Copy !req
95. d Deck the halls
with boughs of dCopy !req
96. d Ho-o-o-llee-ee-ee dCopy !req
97. Now, hold it
right there, Reesie!Copy !req
98. - What are we deckin'?
- I'm deckin' the...Copy !req
99. d Ho-oo-oo-oo-oo dCopy !req
100. dd [Exaggerated
Vocalizing]Copy !req
101. d Not the kitchen
Whoo dCopy !req
102. You'll get their
49-minute version of'Silent Night."Copy !req
103. Shh! Shh!Copy !req
104. d Silent night dCopy !req
105. Now, hold it Reesie.
What kind of night you say that was?Copy !req
106. Shh! Shh! I said it was
a silent night.Copy !req
107. Oh, Reesie, I'm talkin' too much.
Better hush up.Copy !req
108. Shh! See no evil, hear no evil.
Silent night.Copy !req
109. Put a sock in it!Copy !req
110. ddCopy !req
111. Now, wait a minute, Reesie.
I'm confused.Copy !req
112. Was the night silent
or was it holy?Copy !req
113. It was silent
and holy, Cephus!Copy !req
114. - Oh, you mean holy, holy.
- You crazy.Copy !req
115. - Like a sock!
- ddCopy !req
116. And best of all, if you act now...Copy !req
117. you can receive this eight-C.D.
Collector's edition...Copy !req
118. of the "Twelve Days
of Christmas. "Copy !req
119. d On the ninth day
of Christmas dCopy !req
120. d My true love
sent to me dCopy !req
121. d Nine chickens leapin' dCopy !req
122. - d Eight black-eyed peas d
- d Seven candied yams dCopy !req
123. - d Six corn bread muffins d
- d Five pounds of grits dCopy !req
124. - That's right.
- d Four neck bones dCopy !req
125. d Three ham hocks
Two cans of Spam dCopy !req
126. d And some chitlins
and some pig's feet ddCopy !req
127. d Nine chickens leapin'
Eight black-eyed peas dCopy !req
128. d Seven candied yams
Six corn bread muffins dCopy !req
129. d Five pounds of grits dCopy !req
130. - d Five d
- S-Seven...Copy !req
131. d Nine chickens leapin'
Eight black-eyed peas ddCopy !req
132. It's a holiday album
you'll enjoy for years to come...Copy !req
133. and you'll only have to
play it once.Copy !req
134. Send $ 19.99 today to...Copy !req
135. ddCopy !req
136. ddCopy !req
137. Now, this is a replica of the habitat
ofbirds from the Brazilian rain forest.Copy !req
138. Now, can anyone tell me
why these birds are endangered?Copy !req
139. Edna? Edna?Copy !req
140. Oh. Yes.Copy !req
141. I believe I can tell you,
Mrs. Keegan.Copy !req
142. These birds are endangered
because when they fly south...Copy !req
143. sometimes they go too far, going past
the South Pole up to the North Pole...Copy !req
144. and get hit by Santa's sled.Copy !req
145. That's enough, young lady.Copy !req
146. If I hear one more of your outrageous
stories, I'm gonna have to call your mother.Copy !req
147. - Whatever you say, bubble butt.
- What did you say?Copy !req
148. I said, " Gosh, I can't wait
to see King Tut!"Copy !req
149. Good, because that's
where we're going next.Copy !req
150. But before we go,
does anybody know the correct answer?Copy !req
151. Yes, Parnell.Copy !req
152. Those fowl are being threatened because
the tropical rain forests are being cut down...Copy !req
153. at the alarming rate
of 7,000 acres a day.Copy !req
154. - Duh!
- Very good, Parnell.Copy !req
155. All right, class. Now, let's move on
to the next exhibit, all right?Copy !req
156. Follow me.Copy !req
157. Parnell!Copy !req
158. Look at this, Parnell.Copy !req
159. It's just like that movie,
The Birds. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
160. Save me, Parnell! Please!
They'll poke my eyes out!Copy !req
161. Nice try, Count Barfula.Copy !req
162. But those birds have been dead and stuffed
for about nine billion years!Copy !req
163. Oh, yeah?
Well, for your information, Parnell...Copy !req
164. I happen to be able to talk to
the animals, just like Dr. Dolittle.Copy !req
165. Look.Copy !req
166. That's mature.
Not!Copy !req
167. Parnell, I've got a great idea.Copy !req
168. You be Tarzan, and I'll beJane,
beautiful princess of the jungle.Copy !req
169. I don't wish to be caught
in your tender trap.Copy !req
170. Besides, you look more like
"Cheeta-bo-beet-a, I smell your stinky feet-a."Copy !req
171. Oh, good one, I'm sure.Copy !req
172. Hey, guess what, Parnell.
I'm your cousin, the industrious beaver.Copy !req
173. - Shut up.Copy !req
174. Timber!Copy !req
175. Maximum put-down!Copy !req
176. Way to go! That display has brought joy
to the hearts of millions.Copy !req
177. Now we gotta fix it,
Vomitola Khomeini!Copy !req
178. d I see your hiney
Out front and shiny dCopy !req
179. d Better hide it
before I bite it dCopy !req
180. Hey, what's down here?Copy !req
181. Knock it off,
Puke-asaurus Rex.Copy !req
182. - If that's your idea...
- If that's your idea...Copy !req
183. - You're never gonna...
- You're never gonna...Copy !req
184. - You're not bu...
- You're not bu...Copy !req
185. Edna Louise, Parnell.!Copy !req
186. Oh, thank goodness.Copy !req
187. Oh, thank goodness
you've arrived.Copy !req
188. Mrs. Keegan,
it was terrible.Copy !req
189. All the birds from... from
Desert Land came over...Copy !req
190. with all the birds
from Rain Forest Town...Copy !req
191. and they were crashing and banging,
having a big battle...Copy !req
192. Stop it! Stop it right now, Edna Louise.
That is the absolute last straw.Copy !req
193. I'm going to call your mother
and have you suspended, young lady.Copy !req
194. Oh, Mrs. Keegan, please don't call
my mother. Don't do it.Copy !req
195. I'll do my homework.
I'll do everybody's homework.Copy !req
196. Oh, Mrs. Keegan,
can't we just settle this like adults?Copy !req
197. No, we can't.
That's enough from you.Copy !req
198. - Mrs. Keegan?
- Yes, Parnell.Copy !req
199. It was all my fault.Copy !req
200. I became so fascinated
by the foliage...Copy !req
201. that I had to get a closer look,
and I accidentally knocked it over.Copy !req
202. Edna was... just trying
to help me clean it up.Copy !req
203. All right, Edna.
I won't call your mother this time.Copy !req
204. But both you and Parnell...Copy !req
205. are gonna spend the rest
of the afternoon on the bus.Copy !req
206. Now, clean up his mess.
I'm gonna go join the other children.Copy !req
207. Okay.Copy !req
208. Parnell, Parnell...Copy !req
209. does that mean
you love me or what?Copy !req
210. Try again, Crapalonia!Copy !req
211. It was just a matter
of my own protection.Copy !req
212. If you get kicked out, you'll probably have
to find a job in the fast-food industry...Copy !req
213. and you'll have bad acne,
and when I order my fries...Copy !req
214. I'll have to look at your
pimply, pus-y head.Copy !req
215. It just not worth it,
"Edna-Pedna, go drop dead-na."Copy !req
216. That spells love
to me, man!Copy !req
217. Parnell is in love with me!
I just knew it!Copy !req
218. ddCopy !req
219. ddCopy !req
220. There he is. Come on.
Let's go see Santa Claus.!Copy !req
221. Santa! Santa! Santa! Santa! Santa!Copy !req
222. Santa! Santa! Sa...Copy !req
223. Santa don't live here anymore.Copy !req
224. It's Homey Claus.Copy !req
225. How come you don't
got w-w-white hair and a white beard?Copy !req
226. Oh, surround my face
with white...Copy !req
227. so I can look some sort
of damn North Pole negative.Copy !req
228. I don't think so.Copy !req
229. Homey don't play that.Copy !req
230. Hey. Can we sit on your lap and tell you
what we want for Christmas?Copy !req
231. Yeah.!Copy !req
232. Oh, so let I
get this straight.Copy !req
233. You want me to lower myself
so that you can assume...Copy !req
234. a superior position
and then demand tribute.Copy !req
235. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
236. I don't think so.Copy !req
237. Homey don't play that.Copy !req
238. I tell you what.Copy !req
239. You can sit on this.Copy !req
240. You can have your knee,
and I can keep my dignity.Copy !req
241. But, Homey,
w-w-what's dignity?Copy !req
242. Here, let me show you.Copy !req
243. - See how you feel right now?
- Yeah.Copy !req
244. Well, dignity is
the opposite of that.Copy !req
245. Now then, little girl...Copy !req
246. what do you want
from Homey Claus?Copy !req
247. Uh, a Malibu Barbie
with her own condo!Copy !req
248. - A Malibu Barbie?
- Yeah!Copy !req
249. Well, I ain't got
no Malibu Barbie.Copy !req
250. I got Compton Carlotta.Copy !req
251. And this is her Section 8
housing in foreclosure.Copy !req
252. Hey, this is a milk carton...Copy !req
253. and this is a turkey baster
with an Afro!Copy !req
254. - Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.Copy !req
255. - I want...
- I don't care what you want, cave boy.Copy !req
256. This is what you get.Copy !req
257. It's Sticko,
the world's greatest toy.Copy !req
258. - It's a stick.
- I know, but it ain't just an ordinary stick.Copy !req
259. You could be a baseball player, like...
What's that big, fat white boy's name?Copy !req
260. Babe Ruth.Copy !req
261. I don't want to be
a baseball player.Copy !req
262. Well, then you can play the flute,
be the Pied Piper of Hammer time.Copy !req
263. - dd
- I don't want to be a flute player.Copy !req
264. Then here. Why don't you
just go lead the parade?Copy !req
265. - I don't want to lead...
- I said, lead the damn parade!Copy !req
266. Big kid,
come sit down.Copy !req
267. Hi, Homey!Copy !req
268. You scream in my ear again, big kid,
it's gonna be me and you.Copy !req
269. - Sorry, Homey.
- Now, what can Homey Claus get for you?Copy !req
270. Okay. Homey, I would like
a refracting telescope...Copy !req
271. model 897560-392504.Copy !req
272. You know, something I can look at all
the constellations and the stars with.Copy !req
273. Oh, so you're not just a big, dumb kid,
you're a brainy kid.Copy !req
274. - Yeah, Homey.
- Homey's got just the thing for you.Copy !req
275. Here you go.Copy !req
276. But, Homey, this isn't
no refracting telescope.Copy !req
277. It's better than that.
It's an observatory.Copy !req
278. Go ahead. Why don't you
put it on your head.Copy !req
279. Didn't you see
all the wonderful stars?Copy !req
280. Yeah.Copy !req
281. Excuse me, children. I got to bring some
Christmas joy into this young man's heart.Copy !req
282. - dd
- Hey!Copy !req
283. I saw you take that toy.Copy !req
284. Now, if you need a toy and can't afford one,
Homey Claus will give you one.Copy !req
285. I got money.
I stole it so I can be in a gang.Copy !req
286. It's part
of my initiation.Copy !req
287. - What?
- My initiation.Copy !req
288. He's a ignorant
little fool.Copy !req
289. So you want to be in a gang, huh?
Make you feel like a big man, huh?Copy !req
290. - Yeah.
- Since you're a big man, Homey's
got something special for you.Copy !req
291. - Yes, look in the bag.
- Let me see.Copy !req
292. - I don't see nothin'.
- You gotta look closer.Copy !req
293. - Now what do you see?
- Hey! Get... Nothing!Copy !req
294. That's the same thing your dumb ass
get out of a gang... nothing.Copy !req
295. Can I go now?Copy !req
296. Well, I guess since it's Christmas, I should
let you off with just a warning, huh?Copy !req
297. I don't think so.Copy !req
298. Homey don't play that.Copy !req
299. All right, little childrens, gather around.
My belt is fallin'.Copy !req
300. - That means it's time to sing Christmas carols.
- Yeah!Copy !req
301. All right.
Repeat after me.Copy !req
302. d Silent night dCopy !req
303. - d Silent night d
- d Silent night dCopy !req
304. d Homey's night dCopy !req
305. - d Homey's night d
- d Homey's night dCopy !req
306. d All was calm dCopy !req
307. - d All was calm d
- d All was calm dCopy !req
308. d All was bright dCopy !req
309. Bright like the light that
the cop shined in my damn face.Copy !req
310. He knew I didn't do nothin'. Threw me on
the floor and put that damn thing in...Copy !req
311. Started beatin' me like I was a fool.
I didn't do it.Copy !req
312. He knew I didn't do it!
He knew it! And y'all ain't singing.Copy !req
313. That was beautiful.
You almost made Homey misty-eyed.Copy !req
314. I said "almost."
Now, y'all go on, get out of here.Copy !req
315. Bye, Homey!Copy !req
316. Hey, Homey!
Homey!Copy !req
317. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
318. What, you trying to have
a special moment with me?Copy !req
319. You want Homey to reveal a tender side,
show he wasn't completely hardened...Copy !req
320. by the Man's
prison system?Copy !req
321. Yeah.Copy !req
322. I don't think so.Copy !req
323. Homey don't play that,
not even on Christmas.Copy !req
324. Now, get the hell
out of here.Copy !req
325. Hey kid.Copy !req
326. You ain't movin' fast enough.
I said get the hell out of here.Copy !req
327. All right.Copy !req
328. All right.Copy !req
329. Thank you very much. Tonight
is a very special night for all of us here...Copy !req
330. because we're celebrating
finishing our 25th episode.Copy !req
331. So thanks to everybody
at home and here...Copy !req
332. who helped to make
the show a success.Copy !req
333. Now, let's get out of here.
See you next week.Copy !req
334. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
335. d In living colordCopy !req
336. d In living colordCopy !req
337. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
338. d In living colordCopy !req
339. d In living colordCopy !req
340. d In living colordCopy !req
341. d In living colordCopy !req
342. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
343. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
344. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
345. d In living colordCopy !req
346. d In living colordCopy !req
347. d In living colordCopy !req
348. d In living colordCopy !req
349. d In living colordCopy !req
350. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
351. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
352. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
353. - d In living colord
- d In living colorddCopy !req