1. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
2. d In living colordCopy !req
3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
4. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
5. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
8. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
11. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
12. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
13. d In living colordCopy !req
14. d In living colordCopy !req
15. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
16. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
17. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
18. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
19. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
20. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
21. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
22. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
23. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
24. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
25. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
26. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
27. - d Take it from me It's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
28. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colorddCopy !req
29. Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenen Ivory Wayans.Copy !req
30. Thank you.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
31. Well, once again, me and my crew
come here to do our thing.Copy !req
32. Glad you could join us.
Sit back. Have some fun.Copy !req
33. Shawn, set it off.Copy !req
34. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
35. d In living colorddCopy !req
36. - All right, pal.
- Wow.Copy !req
37. - Great place.
- Food looks great too.Copy !req
38. Love the ambience.Copy !req
39. Man, they always give
this table to the brothers.Copy !req
40. - Great.
- How'd they know we were related?Copy !req
41. Oh, well, you know, Tom.
Everybody knows the Brothers Brothers.Copy !req
42. We're celebrities, gosh darn it.Copy !req
43. I mean, why do you think they always
put us in the back by the kitchen?Copy !req
44. - Oh.
- So people won't mob us.Copy !req
45. - Oh, is that it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
46. Wow. Those must be our dates.Copy !req
47. - Yes.
- One of'em's a great looker.Copy !req
48. I know, but look
at the other one. Eww.Copy !req
49. - Hi, I'm Theresa.
- Hi, I'm Pam.Copy !req
50. - Hi. How are you?
- Hi, Pam.Copy !req
51. - You must be the Toms.
- Yeah, that we are.Copy !req
52. - Toms. Have a seat.
- Have a seat.Copy !req
53. - Oh, thanks.
- Careful.Copy !req
54. - You okay? Watch your legs.Copy !req
55. So, what do you gals do
for a living?Copy !req
56. - Well, I'm a hand model.
- No!Copy !req
57. - Yeah!
- Oh, great.Copy !req
58. I'm in my third year
of medical school.Copy !req
59. When I graduate, I plan on
opening a clinic in the inner city.Copy !req
60. Wow. A hand model.Copy !req
61. - Yeah. Look at this.
- Wow.Copy !req
62. - Whoa-hoa! Boy.
- How do you do that?Copy !req
63. Well, it's pretty tricky,
but I studied.Copy !req
64. - Look like an "A" student to me, wouldn't you say?
- Thanks.Copy !req
65. - dd
- Hey. Wow!Copy !req
66. Tom! "California Girls," man,
our favorite song!Copy !req
67. Hey, it's my favorite song too!Copy !req
68. - No.
- Yes!Copy !req
69. Let's go out there
and dance our boogie-woogie stuff...Copy !req
70. on the dance floor
with the get-down baby!Copy !req
71. - Watch yourself. Watch yourself.
- Oh! How can I watch myself?Copy !req
72. I'll watch you for you.Copy !req
73. He's so much hipper
than I am.Copy !req
74. Just look at him go.
Go, Tom.Copy !req
75. Tom, go under.Copy !req
76. Look at those moves.
Don't you just love this song?Copy !req
77. Huh, actually, I prefer rap.Copy !req
78. I like the political statement it makes.Copy !req
79. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know, that,
I think, is very important.Copy !req
80. - Yeah.
- I mean, that's why I like "Don't Worry, Be Happy,"Copy !req
81. - because it has a very powerful message.
- Yeah.Copy !req
82. Well, I suppose.Copy !req
83. - Oh, you're so...
- Whoo!Copy !req
84. - That was great.
- Watch yourself.Copy !req
85. - Okay!
- That was great, Tom.Copy !req
86. - Hey, Tom, you'll never guess, man.
- What?Copy !req
87. - Marcia's her favorite Brady too!
- Get outta here!Copy !req
88. Remember this one?
"Oh, my nose!"Copy !req
89. - "Marcia Bumps Her Nose," 1972!
I remember that.
- Yes!Copy !req
90. - I got one.! I got one.!
- What?Copy !req
91. ddCopy !req
92. - I love Patty Duke!
- Okay. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
93. - How about this one?
- All right. Go.Copy !req
94. ddCopy !req
95. - Don't remember that?
- Would you like to order?Copy !req
96. What's that?Copy !req
97. Oh, it's the theme from TheJeffersons.
You don't remember that?Copy !req
98. - Thomas Jefferson had a series?
- No.Copy !req
99. No, it was about
a successful black businessman...Copy !req
100. who moved to
the East Side of New York.Copy !req
101. - That's not gonna last long at all.
- There goes the neighborhood.Copy !req
102. Hey, I've got a great idea.Copy !req
103. - What?
- Let's all dance!Copy !req
104. Wow! You're just so smart!Copy !req
105. - Come on.
- Wow!Copy !req
106. - Race ya.
- I know. Let's do the bunny hop.Copy !req
107. I love the bunny hop.!Copy !req
108. Hey, sister,
can I get you anything?Copy !req
109. Yeah, you can tell
those two Toms something from me.Copy !req
110. d Bolly-lolly-lolly ddCopy !req
111. Oh! Hop! Hop! Hop!Copy !req
112. - Bump! Let's do the bump!
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
113. - Bumping.
- Oh, this is too much for me, Tom.Copy !req
114. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
115. - I feel dizzy.
- You are such a great dancer.Copy !req
116. Thanks.Copy !req
117. - Hey, wait a minute.
- What?Copy !req
118. - Where is Theresa?
- Oh!Copy !req
119. She left. And she said
to tell you two Toms...Copy !req
120. you make Bryant Gumbel
look like Flavor Flav.Copy !req
121. - Wow.
- Who's Flavor Flav?Copy !req
122. I know the guy, and Bryant better
get his teeth fixed, 'cause that's not attractive.Copy !req
123. I gotta tell ya.Copy !req
124. I wouldn't want to look like Flavor Flav,
or be named after him.Copy !req
125. What's he gonna name his kid,
Taste-o Taste-o?Copy !req
126. - You're so witty.
- You make us feel so great.Copy !req
127. - Oh, gosh.
- I don't even know how to say it in words.Copy !req
128. - Well, Tom, I got an idea.
- What is it, Tom?Copy !req
129. - How about we say it in a song?
- You're a smart Tom.Copy !req
130. - Hey, busboy, bring us our instruments.
- Busboy.Copy !req
131. - Wow. Just like an Elvis movie.
- Thanks, boy.Copy !req
132. ddCopy !req
133. d You dance with your thumbs up
You wear saddle shoes dCopy !req
134. d You don't have opinions
that challenge our views dCopy !req
135. d Your skin is so creamy
Your eyes are so blue dCopy !req
136. d We're a match made in heaven
'cause we're just like you dCopy !req
137. d We're a match made in heaven dCopy !req
138. d 'Cause we're just like you ddCopy !req
139. Over 5,000 inmates are prisoners...Copy !req
140. not only of their cells,
but of illiteracy.Copy !req
141. That's why Barbara Bush
is tearing down those bars...Copy !req
142. with her "Read in Jail'campaign.Copy !req
143. Here's Buddy.
He just, uh, started your program.Copy !req
144. Thanks to your program,
I can read my sentence now.Copy !req
145. "Tri-ple life sen-sentence...Copy !req
146. "with n-n-no hope...Copy !req
147. for parole."Copy !req
148. - Congratulations.
- Well, now, let me introduce you toJohn here.Copy !req
149. You know,
he's a real success story.Copy !req
150. Thank you, Mrs. Bush.Copy !req
151. Before I could read, I was forced to rob
convenience stores for a living.Copy !req
152. But since joining
your literacy program...Copy !req
153. a whole new world has been
opened up to me...Copy !req
154. embezzlement.Copy !req
155. Yeah, we're so proud of him.
And finally here, there's, uh, Oswald.Copy !req
156. He's one of our, uh, most enthusiastic students.Copy !req
157. - Oh, yeah.Copy !req
158. The pancreatic philosophy of your book,
you understand...Copy !req
159. has "syphillized" the shaft, you dig?Copy !req
160. And opened my "mucal" membranes,
you understand...Copy !req
161. to a world... oh, yes...Copy !req
162. a world of nocturnal commissions.Copy !req
163. - Warden, may I?
- Guard!Copy !req
164. Run a lockup.Copy !req
165. So, what you're saying
then, Oswald...Copy !req
166. is that the viscous "mammarian" glands...Copy !req
167. - Mm-hmm.
- Which "scrofulate" my work...Copy !req
168. - Right.
- Clearly disembowel the "placentitude"...Copy !req
169. of the very "recticitality"...Copy !req
170. - Uh-huh.
- Of my virtue.Copy !req
171. Ah, exactly. "Pubile."Copy !req
172. - It is the quasi-menstrual...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
173. - Excuse me, Quasimodo...
- Point taken.Copy !req
174. Phlebitis that makes
your book so, uh...Copy !req
175. Clitoric.Copy !req
176. - Oh, yes.
- And reminiscent of the Oedipus...Copy !req
177. or the "Pedipus," depending on
which end is up.Copy !req
178. Uh! I think I'm beginning
to see the light.Copy !req
179. The entire premise
of my book was wrong.Copy !req
180. - Way off.
- Well, I'd better start
on a new version immediately.Copy !req
181. Barbara Bush.
Doing her part in the fight against illiteracy.Copy !req
182. ddCopy !req
183. Hey, Evelyn Woods...Copy !req
184. purchase the product
or vacate the premises.Copy !req
185. What are you supposed to be,
a Guardian Angel?Copy !req
186. No, I'm not,
nor do I care to be...Copy !req
187. even if they reconsider
my application.Copy !req
188. - So, uh, who are you?
- My name is Dickie Peterson...Copy !req
189. Cherub ofJustice...Copy !req
190. here to protect and serve!Copy !req
191. So what?Copy !req
192. So get yourself a library card.Copy !req
193. Oh, brother.Copy !req
194. - Situation resolved.Copy !req
195. - Hey, Frank, how's it goin' tonight?
- Hey, Dickie, how you doin'?Copy !req
196. - Pretty good. Pretty good. Sorry I'm late though.
- Good.Copy !req
197. Uh, you don't really have to be
on time, Dickie. You don't really work here.Copy !req
198. Yeah, well, that's no excuse.Copy !req
199. I better put myself on report.Copy !req
200. - Excuse me.
- Dickie, I got a customer here, all right?Copy !req
201. - Come on.
- Okay, Frank. I better check into home base.Copy !req
202. - Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.
Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.Copy !req
203. - Come in Gray Squirrel.
- Dickie? Is that you, Dickie?Copy !req
204. Mom, the code name is Woodchuck.
You're supposed to use the code name.Copy !req
205. I don't care
what the code name is.Copy !req
206. It's 4:00 in the morning, and if you don't
get your butt home right now...Copy !req
207. - Maintain radio silence!Copy !req
208. - What's he, one of these Guardian Angels?
- Uh, no.Copy !req
209. No. No, I'm not,
nor do I care to be...Copy !req
210. even if they decide
to return my phone calls.Copy !req
211. Uh, how much
did you say this was?Copy !req
212. - I think it was 79 cents.
- Hmm, I thought it was 89.Copy !req
213. Hold it. I'll be right back.Copy !req
214. Dickie, man, you don't have to...Copy !req
215. Eighty-nine cents.!
Hold that guy.!Copy !req
216. Thanks, Dickie.Copy !req
217. That's what I'm here for, Frank.Copy !req
218. You got away with
your little scam this time.Copy !req
219. Next time you're goin' down.Copy !req
220. Get lost.Copy !req
221. Yo, man! What's up with that?Copy !req
222. - It's okay, Frank. It's okay.
- Yo, man.Copy !req
223. He can run, but he can't hide.Copy !req
224. Someday I'll see him in the street,
and then boom!Copy !req
225. Death touch.Copy !req
226. Hey, was it worth it,
Mr. 10-Cent Discrepancy?Copy !req
227. Dickie, calm down.
You're gonna get in trouble, man.Copy !req
228. - You're my best friend, Frank.
- I am?Copy !req
229. Possibly the closest friend
I've ever had.Copy !req
230. Really?Copy !req
231. You want to terminate
that friendship, Frank?Copy !req
232. Then don't tell me
how to do my job!Copy !req
233. The duties of this trademark yellow beret
must always come first.Copy !req
234. Now if you'll excuse me...Copy !req
235. I'd better give that parking lot
a once-over.Copy !req
236. Frank, you're not gonna believe...Copy !req
237. - what's goin' on on that bench outside!
- What? What?Copy !req
238. - What? What?
- Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.
Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.Copy !req
239. - We have a situation here.
- A guy and a girl makin' out, Dickie.Copy !req
240. - What?
- It's just a guy and a girl makin' out.Copy !req
241. - Hey, get your hands off her! And your tongue too!
- Di-Dickie!Copy !req
242. - Man, Dickie.Copy !req
243. - Why don't you just mind your...Copy !req
244. - Dickie, what is wrong with you, man?Copy !req
245. Hey, are you all right, man?Copy !req
246. Crazy chick.Copy !req
247. I had him down on the ground,
and she just started kicking me.Copy !req
248. That's appreciation for ya.Copy !req
249. Man.Copy !req
250. Let me see. It's pretty bad.
Why don't you just go ahead on home, okay?Copy !req
251. - You mean back to the base?
- Yeah, back to home base.Copy !req
252. W-Why don't you get Gray Squirrel
to put something on that.Copy !req
253. All right?Copy !req
254. Okay, Frank.
If that's your preference.Copy !req
255. Looks like everything here is pretty much
under control now anyway.Copy !req
256. Thanks to
the Cherubs ofJustice.Copy !req
257. Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.
Woodchuck to Gray Squirrel.Copy !req
258. - Situation resolved. I'm comin' home.Copy !req
259. - See you tomorrow night, Frank.
- All right, Dickie. Take it easy, man.Copy !req
260. Uh-oh. Spoke too soon.Copy !req
261. Hey, where do you think you're going
with that shopping cart?Copy !req
262. Dickie, man! Dickie!Copy !req
263. Damn!Copy !req
264. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
265. as you know, we voted
at our September meeting...Copy !req
266. to invite one of the poor unfortunates
from our city streets...Copy !req
267. to join us at
our Thanksgiving luncheon.Copy !req
268. Thank you. It was felt
that his presence here...Copy !req
269. would make us appreciate
the things we have...Copy !req
270. as well as generally make us
feel good for feeding a poor person.Copy !req
271. So, without further ado...Copy !req
272. here now is Anton Jackson.Copy !req
273. Anton?Copy !req
274. I hope I'm not too late.Copy !req
275. The limo dropped me off too soon.Copy !req
276. It had one of them bumpers
you couldn't hang on to.Copy !req
277. That's quite all right, Mr. Jackson.Copy !req
278. We've reserved a place for you.Copy !req
279. Where, o-over there?Copy !req
280. Well, if you like.
Please feel free to pick your seat.Copy !req
281. Oh, thanks. I don't mind if I do.Copy !req
282. These drawers been crawlin' up
my behind all day.Copy !req
283. Oh!Copy !req
284. See here, old chap.Copy !req
285. Wouldn't you like to freshen up
before dinner?Copy !req
286. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, I say.Copy !req
287. Oh, thanks a lot.
I wouldn't want the Lord...Copy !req
288. to see me giving thanks
with this up my nose.Copy !req
289. Hey, could you put that
in your napkin for me?Copy !req
290. Uh, Mr. Jackson, as our guest...Copy !req
291. would you like to say a few words?Copy !req
292. Oh, certainly.
I'd love to impose a toast, if I may.Copy !req
293. There's wine. Drink up.Copy !req
294. May your liquor be cold...Copy !req
295. your women be hot...Copy !req
296. and all your problems
slide off like snot.Copy !req
297. Drink up, man.Copy !req
298. Everybody drink up.Copy !req
299. Mr. Jackson, l...
I wonder if you wouldn't be so kind...Copy !req
300. as to do the honors
with the turkey.Copy !req
301. Hey, I ain't never done nothin'
with no turkey before!Copy !req
302. Who told you that?
Clarence? He's lyin'.Copy !req
303. Okay. Once,
when I was desperate.Copy !req
304. And the turkey kept teasing me,
going, "Gobble, gobble, gobble."Copy !req
305. No, eh, uh... Mr. Jackson, I was simply asking
if you would like to cut the turkey.Copy !req
306. Oh, I might as well.Copy !req
307. I just cut the cheese.Copy !req
308. How about a wing?
Here's a wing for you.Copy !req
309. You can have a wing.Copy !req
310. I bet you like dark meat.Copy !req
311. How about a leg for you?Copy !req
312. Oh, look, the wishbone.Copy !req
313. You feel lucky?Copy !req
314. - Uh...
- Go ahead and take a pull.Copy !req
315. U-Uh, Mr. Jackson, if you'll just
be seated, then I'll serve the turkey.Copy !req
316. Oh, you'll serve the turkey. All right,
then I'll just serve the potatoes, the sweet p...Copy !req
317. Hey, this gravy is cold.Copy !req
318. Oh!Copy !req
319. Where you goin'?
Where you goin', man?Copy !req
320. To the restroom.
I don't...Copy !req
321. - Feel well.
- Where you going?Copy !req
322. No need to go.
I travel with my own facilities.Copy !req
323. - Hey!Copy !req
324. Just put the lid back on.Copy !req
325. What's wrong?Copy !req
326. Look, uh, Miss Mary?Copy !req
327. Hey, what about the honors?Copy !req
328. What about the rest of...Copy !req
329. Hey, I'll see you later, baby.
I got my eye on you.Copy !req
330. All right, fellas, it worked.
Come on in.Copy !req
331. Boo Boo! JoJo! Come on.
Get in here.Copy !req
332. Come on. Everybody, come on.
Come on in.Copy !req
333. Pick a seat. Pick your seat.Copy !req
334. All right. Before we eat,
let's bow our heads and say thanks.Copy !req
335. - Thanks.
- All right. Let's eat.Copy !req
336. I'd like to impose another toast.Copy !req
337. Yeah, this is B.Y.O.B. B...
Bring your own bag, baby.Copy !req
338. May we all be thankful
for what we got.Copy !req
339. And all our problems slide off like snot.Copy !req
340. - Drink up.
- Just like snot.Copy !req
341. All right.Copy !req
342. Thank you.Copy !req
343. We had a lot of fun tonight.Copy !req
344. Takin' us home tonight is a young man
I've had the pleasure of watching grow.Copy !req
345. He used to be a D.J. For B.D.P.,
and now he's now out on his own.Copy !req
346. Shawn, tell 'em who he is.Copy !req
347. Some of them... Some people
call him the TR808. I call him D Nice.Copy !req
348. - Yo, D, drop some funk.Copy !req
349. ddCopy !req
350. One, two... Check it out.Copy !req
351. For all of you who don't know
who I am, my name is D Nice.Copy !req
352. You know what I'm sayin'?
And I'm live on In Living Color.Copy !req
353. And I'm gonna
break it down like this.Copy !req
354. ddCopy !req
355. ddCopy !req
356. ddCopy !req
357. ddCopy !req