1. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
2. d In living colordCopy !req
3. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
4. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
5. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
6. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
7. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
8. - d Take it from me it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
9. d And how would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete dCopy !req
10. d And all mankind danced
to the exact beat dCopy !req
11. - d And at night it was safe
to walk down the street d
- d In living colordCopy !req
12. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
13. d In living colordCopy !req
14. d In living colordCopy !req
15. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
16. - d In living colord
- d In living colordCopy !req
17. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
18. d Everybody here
is equally kind dCopy !req
19. d Everybody, everybody
everybody, everybody dCopy !req
20. - d Everybody here is equally kind d
- d In living colordCopy !req
21. d What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine dCopy !req
22. d In living c-c-c-olordCopy !req
23. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
24. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
25. d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon dCopy !req
26. d You see, it's never too late
and it's never too soon dCopy !req
27. - d Take it from me it's a'ight to be d
- d In living colordCopy !req
28. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colorddCopy !req
29. - Ladies and gentlemen, Keenen Ivory Wayans.Copy !req
30. Thank you.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
31. How are you doing? I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans.
Welcome to In Living Color.Copy !req
32. - Yeah.Copy !req
33. It's good to have you all
here for our season opener.Copy !req
34. Before I get started, I'd like to bring out
the rest of my family.Copy !req
35. Uh, my brother, Damon, my sister, Kim.
Come on out.Copy !req
36. Yeah, we, uh, we just
wanted to thank everybody...Copy !req
37. for helping to make
this show a success.Copy !req
38. And just to kind
of let you know...Copy !req
39. That we haven't
changed one bit.Copy !req
40. We're still the same wonderful
people on the inside.Copy !req
41. We really are. I mean, success
has not spoiled us one single bit.Copy !req
42. The same kids from the projects that we've
always been, and we want America to know that.Copy !req
43. - Yeah.
- Hey, SW1.Copy !req
44. I haven't changed either, Keenen.Copy !req
45. - Let's get started.
- Shall we?Copy !req
46. d You can do what you wanna do
in living colordCopy !req
47. - d In living colord
- d You know what I'm sayin'dCopy !req
48. d You can do what you wanna do dCopy !req
49. d In living colordCopy !req
50. - d In living colord
- d You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon ddCopy !req
51. Hey, mon.Copy !req
52. It's time again
for another episode of Hey Mon...Copy !req
53. with the hardest working
West Indian family, the Headleys.Copy !req
54. How did my husband's
surgery go, Doctor?Copy !req
55. Well, the lazy husband is fine now.Copy !req
56. How long will he be off his feet?Copy !req
57. Off his feet? That's what
got him here in the first place.Copy !req
58. He had a hemorrhoid the size
of a coconut on his behind.Copy !req
59. Well, what do you prescribe?Copy !req
60. - I prescribe 10 job.
- Ten jobs?Copy !req
61. That's right, 10 job a day
keep a doctor away.Copy !req
62. You don't have time
to be sick with 10 job.Copy !req
63. - What kind of a doctor are you?
- I'm glad you asked.Copy !req
64. I'm a proctologist, a dermatologist,
a gynecologist, a cardiologist...Copy !req
65. a brain surgeon, an eye surgeon,
a nose, ear, throat man...Copy !req
66. and I also help
run the flower shop.Copy !req
67. - You can't be serious.
- Oh, no, I'm very serious.Copy !req
68. - Where are you going now, woman?
- I'm gonna find a good attorney.Copy !req
69. Well then, you're gonna be wanting to talk
to my hard-working wife Hilda then.Copy !req
70. - That's right, mon.
- Are you a lawyer?Copy !req
71. Yeah, mon. I'm a malpractice lawyer,
a corporate lawyer, a court-appointed lawyer...Copy !req
72. a labor lawyer,
a litigator, prosecutor...Copy !req
73. a process server, barrister, court stenographer,
bailiff, I'm Jacoby and Meyers...Copy !req
74. and I have to run
the flower shop.Copy !req
75. Oh!Copy !req
76. Go on, get out of here,
you lazy oatmeal wart!Copy !req
77. What happened? Here comes Matilda,
our lazy son Byron's new wife.Copy !req
78. Godfrey, Hilda, you better jump to it.
This woman here is about to have a baby!Copy !req
79. - What's the matter with her?
- She in labor!Copy !req
80. In labor? I don't see her working.
What are you talking about, labor?Copy !req
81. - How many jobs do you got?
- Uh, uh, one.Copy !req
82. One job! One job
and you call that labor?Copy !req
83. Get up and help out
with other patients.Copy !req
84. - Up with you.
- Up you go, fatty pie.
Come on, fatty pie. Step up.Copy !req
85. But she's going to
have a baby now!Copy !req
86. Listen to your daughter-in-law.
I'm going to tell you something, girl.Copy !req
87. The day I gave birth to your lazy husband,
Byron, my son...Copy !req
88. I was working six jobs now, mon.Copy !req
89. I was a wedding photographer, meter maid,
shoe salesman, swimming instructor...Copy !req
90. sushi chef and taking a bar exam
all while delivering his lazy fetus.Copy !req
91. - Get up now. You're fine.
- I think I better lie down.Copy !req
92. Lying down? That's what got you here
in the first place, you lazy rabbit killer.Copy !req
93. - Get to work. Get to work!
- Oh, my water broke!Copy !req
94. Well, don't just stand there now, mon.
Get a mop and clean it up now.Copy !req
95. You can wash the floor
while you're at it now. Take that.Copy !req
96. - Get the corners.
- That's right.Copy !req
97. Well, well, well. If it ain't my lazy,
rude boy, Byron. Where you been, boy?Copy !req
98. I've been parking cars at a restaurant,
delivering orchids to the hospital...Copy !req
99. dropping off the laundry,
delivering meat patties...Copy !req
100. giving tours to the stars' homes,
taking my driver's test...Copy !req
101. and I had to pick up this sickly
Yankee man all the way across town...Copy !req
102. while filling out an application
for the flower shop!Copy !req
103. - What's the matter with him?
- Kidney transplant. Hurry, please.Copy !req
104. Hilda, look in that refrigerator,
see if we got any more kidneys left.Copy !req
105. Sorry, mon, we're fresh out. You know,
we done 14 transplants already today, now.Copy !req
106. Oh. Well, Byron, you're gonna have to
get on the table, give me one of yours.Copy !req
107. Pop, you know I don't have a kidney
big enough for this Yankee man.Copy !req
108. Well, we'll use both of them.
Get up on the damn table, boy.Copy !req
109. - Pop, I'm not gonna get...Copy !req
110. - I think it's too late.
- What you sayin' now?Copy !req
111. - He dead!
- He dead?Copy !req
112. - Somebody call a priest.
- Priest!Copy !req
113. Father Headley here.
What's his name?Copy !req
114. - Schwartz.
- Not to worry.Copy !req
115. Shabatt, Shalom, Mazel tov.Copy !req
116. Okay, Byron,
you go start on the grave.Copy !req
117. Hilda, you get a measurement
for the coffin.Copy !req
118. - Matilda, you go buy embalming
fluids and a tombstone.
- And where you going, mon?Copy !req
119. Well, when a man is dead. There got to be
another job opening somewhere.Copy !req
120. Hey mon, got to go to work!Copy !req
121. Join us again
for Hey Mon with the Headleys.Copy !req
122. He was a by-the-book cop
teamed up with an out-on-a-limb rebel.Copy !req
123. - You're gonna get us killed!Copy !req
124. - Relax. I've done this before.Copy !req
125. - I told you not to worry.
- They don't pay me enough for this job.Copy !req
126. Side-by-side,
they took on Los Angeles.Copy !req
127. - Thanks, man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
128. They worked together...Copy !req
129. and they played together.Copy !req
130. Until one day,
the wrong guy got shot.Copy !req
131. That's okay, man. I'll take the bullet.
Now, come on, run. Get out of here.Copy !req
132. Oh, my God. No!Copy !req
133. He's finally on his own.Copy !req
134. He's DetectiveJohn Sidekick.Copy !req
135. He doesn't break the rules,
no matter how trivial.Copy !req
136. Make that murder one
and jaywalking, pal.Copy !req
137. He's too straightforward
to infiltrate the mob.Copy !req
138. Give me a diet soda.Copy !req
139. So, who knows anything about that big
cocaine shipment coming in here tonight?Copy !req
140. He wouldn't recognize a clue
if it dropped in his lap.Copy !req
141. Psst. Sidekick. The snow's
coming in tonight...Copy !req
142. in the old schoolyard.Copy !req
143. Snow? In Los Angeles?Copy !req
144. Yeah, right, pal.
Take a hike!Copy !req
145. And stay away
from the hooch!Copy !req
146. And he's definitely
not interested in sex.Copy !req
147. I don't know anything
about the cocaine...Copy !req
148. but I've got a room upstairs
if you're interested.Copy !req
149. Don't you know that I'm a black man
in a crossover film?Copy !req
150. Sorry, sister, but you're
barking up the wrong tree.Copy !req
151. Up yours.Copy !req
152. Finally, a cop with a healthy respect
for the letter of the law.Copy !req
153. Sidekick! Coming this fall
to a theater near you.Copy !req
154. ddCopy !req
155. ddCopy !req
156. Some kids only imagine
having a man to spend time with them.Copy !req
157. Each year hundreds of thousands
ofboys are left without fathers...Copy !req
158. which leaves thousands of mothers
with a gap impossible to fill.Copy !req
159. Hey, kid. How would you like to learn
to throw a real major league curve ball?Copy !req
160. Wow. That'd be great.
Hey, Mom! A big brother's here!Copy !req
161. Then you could take me
to the circus and to the zoo.Copy !req
162. And you could come to school
with me for parents'night.Copy !req
163. And when all those kids try to beat me up
and stuff, I can say, "Hey, you better watch out...Copy !req
164. 'cause I have a big brother,
and he really cares about me and not..."Copy !req
165. Go buy yourself something, kid.Copy !req
166. Hundreds ofkids and their mothers
are waiting, and their need is real.Copy !req
167. So if you've got the right stuff to make
a big difference, call Bigger Brothers now.Copy !req
168. ddCopy !req
169. Ohh! Oh, Lord have mercy.Copy !req
170. - My dear sisters and brethren,
- ddCopy !req
171. We are gathered here to bid farewell
to a great blues singer.Copy !req
172. - Amen.
- Mississippi "Fat Back" Witherspoon.Copy !req
173. Fat Back!Copy !req
174. Now, he-he wanted this
to be a joyous occasion.Copy !req
175. He didn't want us carrying on.Copy !req
176. So I present his friend,
Mr. Calhoun Tubbs.Copy !req
177. Thank you very much.
Thank you, Reverend.Copy !req
178. Look here.
No disrespect to the family...Copy !req
179. but, uh, Calhoun's 900 Greatest Hits is
available on eight-track cassette in the lobby.Copy !req
180. $3.95. Of course, you get
a complimentary copy, son.Copy !req
181. You know, Fat Back wanted this
to be a joyous occasion...Copy !req
182. so I thought I might sing a few songs,
tell some funny stories about my good friend.Copy !req
183. Now, you all know Fat Back
loved him some catfish.Copy !req
184. - Amen.
- I say, Fat Back loved him some catfish.Copy !req
185. - Amen.
- The only thing he loved more
than some of that channel cat...Copy !req
186. was that little baby girl child.Copy !req
187. Lord, that girl could cook.!Copy !req
188. You know, she done cooked some
catfish for him the day he died.Copy !req
189. Wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it go.Copy !req
190. d Fat Back choked on a catfish dCopy !req
191. d That stupid girl
fed him the bone ddCopy !req
192. Thank you very much.
All right.Copy !req
193. Now, you know, all his life,
Fat Back only loved one woman.Copy !req
194. You know, he once said to me that she was
the only thing that made his life worthwhile.Copy !req
195. Wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it go.Copy !req
196. d Fat Back had another girl
in Louisiana dCopy !req
197. d His wife ain't never know ddCopy !req
198. Thank you very much.Copy !req
199. Now, don't get me wrong now.
Fat Back wasn't no skirt chaser.Copy !req
200. No, no, no. He did what he did
on account of his son.Copy !req
201. He loved that boy.
Wrote a song about it.Copy !req
202. Like to hear it?
Here it go.Copy !req
203. d Fat Back's wife wasn't
nothin' but a skank tramp dCopy !req
204. d She had a bastard child ddCopy !req
205. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
206. You know, that was the first standing
ovation I ever got in my long career.Copy !req
207. You know, I'd like to thank y'all
for letting me take time...Copy !req
208. to share these few loving memories
about my good old buddy Fat Back.Copy !req
209. You know, he was always thinking
about his wife and family.Copy !req
210. But he lived just for today. That's kind of like
what made him so special.Copy !req
211. Wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it go.Copy !req
212. d Fat Back ain't had
no life insurance dCopy !req
213. d You're about to lose
the house and car ddCopy !req
214. Now that's the second
standing ovation I ever got.Copy !req
215. Thank you very much.
See you next time.Copy !req
216. ddCopy !req
217. ddCopy !req
218. Cable access,
Channel 62, presents Men On Film.Copy !req
219. - Hello, I'm Blayne Edwards.
- And I'm Antoine Merrywether.Copy !req
220. And welcome to Men On Films.Copy !req
221. - The show that looks at movies...
- From a male point of view.Copy !req
222. Tonight's show is sponsored by...Copy !req
223. Nuts & Honey.Copy !req
224. - What did you say?
- Nuttin', honey.Copy !req
225. I bet you can't eat just one.Copy !req
226. I bet I could.Copy !req
227. You're so crazy.Copy !req
228. Tonight we'll be wrapping up
the summer films.Copy !req
229. First up is the box-office smash
Total Recall.Copy !req
230. Yes, this is the movie where
muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger...Copy !req
231. goes in search of his past.Copy !req
232. Just a hint, Arnold,
try looking in the closet.Copy !req
233. Next we have Betsy's Wedding.Copy !req
234. Hated it.Copy !req
235. Then there's Ghost.Copy !req
236. You know, Patrick Swayze was
the real standout in this film.Copy !req
237. You know, I'd breathe life
into his spirit any day.Copy !req
238. Even if I did have to go
through Whoopi Goldberg.Copy !req
239. - Perish the thought.
- Yes, indeed.Copy !req
240. Now we come to Dick Tracy.Copy !req
241. You know, I love the title,
but the movie just left me limp.Copy !req
242. I know what you're saying.
This is... This is what I don't get.Copy !req
243. All the characters fit their names.
You know, Flattop had a flattop.Copy !req
244. Pruneface looked
just like a little prune.Copy !req
245. But I never got a chance to see...Copy !req
246. I know I wanted to.Copy !req
247. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
248. It's hot in here.Copy !req
249. Oh. Then there's Pretty Woman.Copy !req
250. Hated it.Copy !req
251. - This one should have been called
A Fish Called Julia.
- Oooh.Copy !req
252. Next, Eddie Murphy was back
in Another 48 Hours.Copy !req
253. You know, I'm sorry, this movie
just got off on the wrong track.Copy !req
254. I feel that they should have spent
more time where the real story is.Copy !req
255. - Mm-hmm.
- In the prisons.Copy !req
256. I'd like to see more about them old sweaty
mens all together in them tiny little cells...Copy !req
257. with no one to turn to
but each others.Copy !req
258. Ooh, drop the soap.
I'll get it.Copy !req
259. Hush.Copy !req
260. - Really?
- You know I can wait.Copy !req
261. Then we come to Spike Lee's
Mo'Better Blues.Copy !req
262. I'm sorry, I didn't care for it.
It just didn't put no toot in my horn.Copy !req
263. I'm sorry,
but I liked this one.Copy !req
264. I mean, little Spike Lee
outdone himself this time.Copy !req
265. He really stretched out
in a dual role...Copy !req
266. as both the lead character's
manager and love interest.Copy !req
267. Oh, he was okay as the manager...Copy !req
268. but, ooh, he just thrilled me
to death in those gripping love scenes...Copy !req
269. with big old handsome
Denzel Washington.Copy !req
270. What courage it must have taken for little
Spike Lee to take off them glasses...Copy !req
271. and let that little hair
get knotty and say...Copy !req
272. "Hey, this is me.
Here I am. See me, love me."Copy !req
273. Hello! Put the car in park.Copy !req
274. The love interest was played
by Spike Lee's little sister.Copy !req
275. Well, touch me in the morning
and then just walk away.Copy !req
276. I don't know. I think you should go
see this again, then you tell me who's who.Copy !req
277. - Yeah, well, you can go without me.
- 'Toine.Copy !req
278. Don't get mad.Copy !req
279. - 'Toine.
- Okay.Copy !req
280. Finally, we have Die Harder.
What a way to go!Copy !req
281. Ninety minutes
with Mr. Bruce Willis.Copy !req
282. Oh, yes. Don't tempt my tummy
with the taste of Nuts & Honey.Copy !req
283. Crazy.Copy !req
284. You know, the only thing I didn't
understand was all the violence in the film...Copy !req
285. 'cause the title
suggested a love story.Copy !req
286. Mm-hmm.
I second that emotion.Copy !req
287. I think this one still deserves
the new and improved...Copy !req
288. Two snaps, a twist and a kiss.Copy !req
289. Stop. Can't touch this.Copy !req
290. Well, that's our show.Copy !req
291. Next week, we'll be looking at
Air America, starring Mel Gibson...Copy !req
292. and little Robert DowneyJrs.Copy !req
293. - Pilot to copilot, we're going down in flames.Copy !req
294. Bye, now.Copy !req
295. ddCopy !req
296. All right.Copy !req
297. Thank you very much.
Thanks for joining us.Copy !req
298. We got a special guest
in the house.Copy !req
299. I want him to come hang out with us
and say good night. Come on, Flavor-Flavor.Copy !req
300. We're going... We're gonna go out of here
a little differently tonight.Copy !req
301. We got a special musical...
musical guest with us.Copy !req
302. So, please, let's go home
with Queen Latifah.Copy !req
303. ddCopy !req
304. Yo. We gonna pump this up
for my Moms.Copy !req
305. Flavor-Flav and In Living Color.
House posse. Check it out.Copy !req
306. ddCopy !req
307. Oh, yeah, I like that.Copy !req
308. ddCopy !req
309. Come on, everybody,
let me hear you scream!Copy !req
310. - Scream!Copy !req
311. - Yo.!Copy !req
312. I wanna thank y'all
for tunin' in tonight.Copy !req
313. So when I say good-bye, I want everybody
to say "Peace! Peace!"Copy !req
314. Y'all ready for this?
'Cause here it comes. Come on.Copy !req
315. - Good-bye!
- Peace.! Peace.!Copy !req
316. - Good-bye!
- Peace.! Peace.!Copy !req
317. - Good-bye.
- Peace! Peace!Copy !req
318. - Good-bye.
- Peace! Peace!Copy !req
319. Ease up till you
get in the house.Copy !req
320. SW1 on the wheels of steel.Copy !req
321. In Living Color
house posse in effect.Copy !req
322. Flavor-Flavor in the house.
Come on.Copy !req
323. Go, Flavor.! Go, Flavor.!
Go, Flavor.!Copy !req
324. Go, Flavor.! Go, Flavor.!
Go, Flavor.!Copy !req
325. Go, Flavor.! Go, Flavor.!
Go, Flavor.!Copy !req
326. Yeah.!Copy !req