In Living Color 1x6

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A picky karate instructor; a specific chemical dependency; the creative process of Tracy Chapman; a yuppie couple at an earthy eatery; a businessman trying to be young.

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!req In Living Color 1x6 [02:32]
!req In Living Color 1x6 [In Living Color 1x6]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.

2. THANK YOU.

3. ALL RIGHT.

4. THANK YOU.

5. THANK YOU. I'M KEENEN IVORY WAYANS WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

6. LIKE I SAID, I ALWAYS LIKE TO KEEP THIS SHORT AND SWEET.

7. TO MY CREW, MY D.J. S.W. ONE.

9. AND BEFORE WE GET TO THE LAUGHS, WE GOTTA GET TO THE LADIES.

10. STARTING OVER HERE WITH CARI, CARRIE ANN, LISA,

11. MICHELLE AND DEIDRE.

12. - MY FLY GIRLS. GIVE IT UP.

13. ALL RIGHT. SIT BACK, RELAX. WE'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

14. SEE YA.

15.

16.

17. LINE UP!

18. WELCOME TO THE FIRST MEETING...

19. FOR WOMEN.

20. I'M BOB JACKSON.

21. IN KARATE,

22. AND I'VE STUDIED MARTIAL ARTS FOR OVER 20 YEARS.

23. I'M ALSO A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION.

24. NOW,

25. MORE THAN OTHERS,

26. BUT I GUARANTEE...

27. YOU'LL NEVER BE AFRAID OF VIOLENCE AGAIN.

28. NOW, LET ME ASK.

29. MOST CONCERNED ABOUT?

30. YES, YOU! OKAY. SAY YOU FIND OUT SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND,

31. AND SOME KIDS.

32. WELL, WHAT I WANNA KNOW IS, HOW DO YOU KILL A MAN IN HIS SLEEP?

33. WHAT?

34. LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT ONE.

35. WHY DON'T WE START, THOUGH,

36. A KNIFE ATTACK.

37. TO ATTACK ME? OOH, ME!

38. - I GOT ONE IN MY PURSE. - WHY DON'T YOU TRY?

39. THIS IS A REAL KNIFE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, GRASSHOPPER.

40. I DON'T KNOW. I REALLY—

41. I DON'T THINK I SHOULD. IT'S OKAY. COME ON!

42. OH, MY GOD! I'M REALLY SORRY!

43. I-I-I-I—

44. I DIDN'T MEAN IT. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

45. I'M FINE.

46. MY INTERNAL ORGANS...

47. TO AVOID THE KNIFE.

48. HOWEVER,

49. OF BEGINNING STUDENTS,

50. YOU ATTACKED ME WRONG. OH!

51. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME AT ME LIKE THIS.

52. ALL RIGHT.

53. NOW, REMEMBER THAT AND TRY IT AGAIN. OKAY.

54. A DOWNWARD THING.

55. ALL RIGHT-Y.

56.

57. I'M REALLY SORRY! UH—

58. LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD. CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?

59. OH, MAN!

60. OH!

61. YOU SEE, YOU'RE STILL BENDING YOUR ELBOWS.

62. YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP... YOUR ARM... COMPLETELY STRAIGHT.

63. OH. ALL RIGHT. THAT'S THE WHOLE KEY.

64. OH, GOD. ALL RIGHT.

65. TRY IT ONE MORE TIME. STRAIGHT.

66. OKAY.

67. - OKAY, I GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. - THAT'S IT.

68. YEAH. YEAH. JUST LIKE THAT. YEAH.

69.

70. WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY? IT'S OUR FIRST DAY!

71. HOW EASY IT CAN BE... ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

72. AFTER 20 YEARS. THIS CLASS IS A RIP-OFF. I WANT MY MONEY BACK.

73. RIGHT. ME TOO. AND I LOOKED IT UP. PARDON ME.

74. IN 1976, CHUCK NORRIS WAS THE WORLD CHAMPION. WHAT?

75. I NEVER SAID I WAS THE ONLY WORLD CHAMPION.

76. THERE WERE LOTS OF THEM.

77. I SPARRED WITH ELVIS! WOW!

78. OKAY. SAY YOU WAKE UP FROM A DEEP SLEEP...

79. IS DOING THIS. OW!

80. WHAT WOULD YOU DO THEN? AND IKE TURNER DOES THIS.

81. AND ELVIS DOES THIS.

82. HMM? THAT MIGHT'VE HURT IF I HADN'T SHIFTED MR. HAPPY.

83. OH, GOD.

84. WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, TOM, ON YOUR NEW PROMOTION.

85. TO YOUTH.

86. THANK YOU, BOSS. LATER, BABE. BYE-BYE.

87. GEE, ANOTHER PROMOTION FOR TOM.

88. WHAT IS IT? YOUTH?

89. HEY, HE'S TWO YEARS OLDER THAN I AM.

90. MAYBE IT'S THIS GREY THAT'S HOLDING ME BACK.

91. GET RID OF THAT GREY,

92. ADD SOME ZEST, SOME COLOR TO YOUR LIFE...

93. GRESHAN FORMULA.

94. MAKES THE CHANGE SO GRADUAL THAT NO ONE WILL NOTICE.

95. I'LL CALL YOU BACK. JIM, THERE'S SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.

96. ARE YOU WEARING A NEW SUIT?

97. YOU LOOK A LITTLE, UH,

98. MORE MANLY.

99. YOU KNOW, JIM,

100. IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS, SOMETHING SEEMS, UM,

101. DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.

102. YOU BEEN WORKING OUT? I KNOW. YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT.

103. WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, KEEP IT UP.

104. NEW AND IMPROVED GRESHAN FORMULA...

105. ADDS ZEST AND COLOR.

106. LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS, IT'S 21 HOURS AND COUNTING...

107. THE JHERI'S KIDS TELETHON.

108. HERE'S YOUR HOST, JHERI LEWIS!

109. OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH!

110. THIS IS LOVE, AND LOVE IS THIS.

111. IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US,

112. IT'S THE 21st HOUR...

113. OF THE JHERI KIDS TELETHON.

114. WE'RE HERE TO FIGHT A DEADLY AFFLICTION,

115. MILLIONS OF INNER-CITY YOUTHS...

116. OF OURS.

117. ALSO, MANY PUBLIC FIGURES SUCH AS...

118. FULL FORCE.

119. GET BUSY.

120. TO ONE OF JHERI'S KIDS.

121. FROM COMPTON, CALIFORNIA.

122. THE DREADED ACTIVATOR...

123. SO VERY DESPERATELY.

124. HEY!

125. RODNEY, TELL THE PEOPLE OUT THERE...

126. AS A RESULT OF YOUR JHERI CURL.

127. WELL, YOU KNOW—

128. YOU KNOW, FIRST IT WAS THE "IN THING" TO DO, MAN.

129. EVERYBODY HAD ONE, YOU KNOW? MM-HMM.

130. GOIN' BAD, MAN.

131. MY WOMAN LEFT ME, MAN,

132. 'CAUSE SHE GOT TIRED OF WASHING THEM PILLOW COVERS, MAN.

133. MAN, I WAS LIKE A WALKING FIRE HAZARD.

134. AT MY JOB AT McDONALD'S, MAN, I COULDN'T EVEN GO NEAR THE HEAT LAMPS, OR WHOOF!

135. IT'S OKAY. IT AIN'T OKAY.

136. IT'S OKAY. LET IT GO.

137. WITH THE KLEENEX HERE?

138. OKAY, RODNEY, GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF.

139. WELL, I—

140. JHERI CURL DEACTIVATION CENTER.

141. OH, YEAH! YEAH.

142. YOU KNOW, THE HARDEST THING I EVER DID, MAN, WAS STAYING AWAY FROM THAT ACTIVATOR, MAN.

143. I-I JUST NEEDED THAT ACTIVATOR ON MY HEAD.

144. OH, YEAH! YES, IT WAS TERRIBLE, MAN.

145. BUT I'M ON MY WAY BACK, MAN. MM-HMM.

146. NEXT WEEK I'M GOING TO GET A FLATTOP! OH, YEAH!

147. THAT'S RIGHT! A SEA HAS PARTED!

148. OH, YEAH! EPIPHANY!

149. EPIPHANY.

150. SO YOU SEE, THERE IS HOPE.

151. WON'T YOU PLEASE SEND YOUR DONATIONS AND YOUR LOVE?

152. THIS JHERI CURL SYNDROME.

153. IS IT TIME...

154. FOR ME TO SING?

155. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS YEAR WE COULD NOT GET CLEARANCE ON "NEVER WALK ALONE."

156. I WAS DEVASTATED.

157. SO I WROTE MY OWN SONG.

158. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

159.

160. MARTY? MARTY? LISTEN TO ME, OKAY?

161. YOU CAN'T RUSH A TRACY CHAPMAN SONG, ALL RIGHT?

162. THE CREATIVE PROCESS IS.

163. MAN, THAT'S JUST THE WAY I GET INSPIRED.

164. I WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE.

165. HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN? ALL RIGHT. THEN CHILL OUT, OKAY?

166. I'LL HAVE THE SONG TOMORROW.

167. PEACE.

168. HEY, YOU GIVE ME BACK MY POCKET BOOK!

169. SHUT UP, YOU OLD BAG OF WRINKLES! OH!

170. [ Brakes Screeching, Crash ]

171. OH, MY GOD!

172.

173. I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!

174. ON TRIAL FOR HIS SINS.

175. FORGIVE ME. I LOVED IT. DID YOU?

176. LIAR! YOU ONLY LOVE YOUR FREEDOM.

177. IS THAT A SIN?

178. A SAD AND LONELY ONE.

179. I HEARD THAT.

180. YOU BELONG TO NO ONE.

181. YOU BELONG TO NO ONE.

182. YOU BELONG TO NO ONE.

183. IS A SIN,

184. THEN I'S BE GUILTY!

185. OPPRESSION FOR BLACK MEN.

186. IF ONLY HE WASN'T SO DARK.

187. THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

188. IS JUST SUPER.

189. THE DECOR IS INTERESTING.

190. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, WE GOT SOME MORE CUSTOMERS IN HERE!

191. Y'ALL GO ON AND SIT WHEREVER Y'ALL WANNA SIT.

192. BY THE ROACH MOTEL.

193. DON'T SIT THERE. THAT TABLE'S RESERVED.

194. AT MAMA'S PLACE BEFORE.

195. WHERE SHE AIN'T GOIN' TO.

196. MAMA GONNA HAVE TO SPANK YOU. MAMA GONNA HAVE TO SPANK YOU.

197. WAS AN ASTRONAUT!

198.

199. I'M THE ONLY ONE HEAR THE PHONE RINGIN', HUH?

200. FIRST BREAK I GET, EVERYBODY ELSE GOES DEAF.

201. MM-HMM. LET ME SIT.

202. HELLO. SNACK AND SHACK.

203. THERE'LL BE A 45 MINUTE WAIT.

204. PRINCE? I DON'T CARE IF YOU THE QUEEN OF SHEBA,

205. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT ALONG WITH EVERYBODY ELSE.

206. THINK THEY'RE ROYALTY, THEY GET SPECIAL TREATMENT.

207. I DON'T CARE. PICK IT UP!

208. FOOL, I SAID "BEANS," NOT "GREENS."

209. YOU SAID "GREENS." I SAID "BEANS!"

210. ALL RIGHT. THERE YOU GO. BEANS.

211. AND WEIGH IT.

212. DON'T MESS WITH MY PRESSURE, WOMAN. DON'T GET MY PRESSURE UP.

213. GOIN' TO GET UP ANYTIME SOON.

214. IN THAT HEARING AID, THAT'S WHAT I KNOW.

215. I DIDN'T ORDER NO GREENS! I KNOW YOU DIDN'T ORDER NO GREENS.

216. YOU DIDN'T ORDER NO CHICKEN, BUT YOU GONNA GET THAT, 'CAUSE HE NEEDS NEW BATTERIES.

217. GETTIN' ON MY NERVES. CAN'T HEAR NOTHIN'.

218. WHY DON'T Y'ALL GO ON AND GET YOURSELF SOME WATER OR SOMETHIN'?

219. ACTIN' LIKE YOU A STRANGER HERE AT MAMA'S PLACE.

220. MAKIN' ME FEEL ALL BAD LIKE THAT.

221. IF YOU KEEP ON—

222. I'LL TAKE JOAN COLLINS TO BLOCK!

223. OH, LORD.

224. OH!

225.

226. HELP ME. I GOT SOME TERRIBLE BUNIONS.

227. ONIONS. PICK IT UP.

228. MAMA'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU, BABY.

229. MAMA GONNA SPECIAL TREAT YOU.

230. WE'RE COOKIN' NOW. OH, LOOK AT YOU, BABY.

231. EYE JUST LIKE MY GRANDBABY.

232. A LITTLE TREAT FOR YOU.

233. GOT DOWN HERE.

234. YEAH. HOW ABOUT A PIECE OF PECAN PIE FOR MY BABY?

235. UH, I'LL JUST, UH— I'LL SAVE IT FOR LATER, OKAY?

236. MAMA'S FEELINGS LIKE THAT? YOU WANT A PIECE OF PIE?

237. NO, THANK YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD LIKE? IS A NEW FORK, IF I COULD.

238. THIS ONE IS FILTHY. SAY WHAT?

239. I'D LIKE A NEW FORK. YOUR FORK IS DIRTY?

240. OH, BABY, THAT AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A LITTLE BIT OF DRIED-UP CABBAGE.

241. MY FEET STINK! THANKS.

242. THERE YOU GO, SWEETHEART. IT'S AS GOOD AS GOLD.

243. BABY, LOOK AT YOU.

244. AS YOU WANNA BE.

245. SKINNY AS A BEAN POLE. AIN'T SHE SKINNY AS A BEAN POLE?

246. - SKINNY AS A BEAN POLE. - FILLET OF SOLE! PICK IT UP!

247. UM, I WOULD JUST LIKE THE SALMON CROQUETTES, PLEASE.

248. BABY, YOU GONNA HAVE THE SALISBURY STEAK.

249. I'M A VEGETARIAN. OH, I'M A CAPRICORN.

250. NO. SEE—

251. NO, SEE, SHE DOESN'T EAT RED MEAT. THAT'S WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO SAY.

252. OH, YOU THERE, SMARTY-PANTS,

253. MY LITTLE GRANDSON.

254. BABY, SALISBURY STEAK AIN'T RED. IT'S BROWN.

255. SEE, I DON'T EAT ANYTHING THAT GRAZES.

256. THAT'S WHY YOUR TEETH ARE SO YELLOW.

257. JELL-O! PICK IT UP!

258. LUTHER! LUTHER!

259. I NEED A SALISBURY STEAK...

260. OF MACARONI AND CHEESE.

261. - AIN'T NO MORE SALISBURY STEAK. - WE ALL OUT OF SALISBURY STEAK.

262. - LUTHER, WE OUT OF SALISBURY STEAK? - AIN'T NO MORE SALISBURY STEAK!

263. FORGET THE STEAK.

264. A PERRIER, PLEASE?

265. YOU WANT A PAIR OF WHAT?

266. NO, A PERRIER. IT'S BOTTLED WATER. IT'S FRENCH.

267. OOH, THIS WIG ITCHES!

268. OH, LORD!

269. FEELS LIKE SOMETHIN' DONE CRAWLED UP UNDER MY HEAD AND DIED.

270. THIS IS DISGUSTING. I'D REALLY LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER, PLEASE.

271. BABY, MAMA GOT— AW!

272. MAY I PLEASE SPEAK TO THE OWNER?

273. OOH, MY HAIR FALLIN' OUT ON ME.

274. TO THE OWNER? YEAH.

275. LEON, LADY OVER HERE WANNA SPEAK TO YOU.

276. A BOOGER TALK!

277. ALL RIGHT.

278. ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. AS USUAL, WE HOPE YOU HAD FUN.

279. DOIN' IT FOR YOU.

280. STARTIN' MAY 27th, TELL THEM WHERE THE PARTY'S GONNA BE.

281. SUNDAY!

282. PEACE!