In Living Color 1x5

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Boxing greats find a child on their doorstep; a corporate climber hopes his date is suitable; a condo caters to a corpulent clientele; an interpreter introduces Ambassador Shirley Temple Black to her new post.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.

2. [ Audience Applauding, Cheering ]

3. YO!

4. THANK YOU.

5. WELCOME TO IN LIVING COLOR. I'M KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.

6. [ Audience Cheering, Applauding ] YEAH!

7. FOR YOU TONIGHT.

8. AS USUAL, I LIKE TO START THE SHOW BY INTRODUCING MY FLY GIRLS.

9. WITH MICHELLE, CARI, CARRIE ANN, LISA AND DEIDRE.

10. YEAH! GIVE IT UP!

11. AND TO MY D.J., S.W. ON—

12. WHOO, WHOO, WHOO.

13. - WHO ARE YOU, MAN? - BARRY.

14. YO, SHAWN SAID IT WAS COOL.

15. SHAWN!

16. YO, KEEN, HE'S STUPID!

17. WAIT. STOP, STOP, STOP. WHAT'S UP WITH D.J. EXTRA LARGE HERE?

18. HE'S STUPID, MAN. HE GAVE US LAKER TICKETS IF HE COULD D.J. FOR THE SHOW.

19. SO WE GOIN' TO THE LAKER GAME TONIGHT.

20. WE'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE. LET ME TALK TO YOU.

21. THIS SUMMER, TOUCHTONE PICTURES...

22. THE SEQUEL ALL AMERICA HAS BEEN WAITING FOR—

23. YEAH, HELLO.

24. IS THIS BUSTER DOUGLAS?

25. YEAH, WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHO IT IS.

26. YEAH. IT'S A "UNANIMOUS" CALLER.

27. I'M JUST A FAN WHO'S A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR CAREER RIGHT NOW.

28. YOU HAD WITH MIKE TYSON. YOU BEAT HIM PRETTY BAD.

29. YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU SHOULD FIGHT HIM AGAIN.

30. YEAH, LIKE TOMORROW.

31. WHAT?

32. ALL RIGHT, SO IT'S ME. YEAH, SO WHAT?

33. HOW'D YOU KNOW? I DISGUISED MY VOICE.

34. LOOK, COME ON, BUSTER. YOU GONNA FIGHT ME OR WHAT?

35. AW, PLEASE?

36. COME ON, IT'S NOT GOIN' TOO GOOD WITH THE BROADS, MAN.

37. WELL, JUST LOAN ME THE BELT FOR THE WEEKEND.

38. OKAY, FINE. I'M GIVIN' ROBIN'S MOTHER YOUR NUMBER.

39. OH, QUIET. I COULD STILL WHIP THE BOTH OF YA.

40. 'CAUSE I'M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIMES!

41. FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY,

42. STING LIKE A TREE— NO.

43. BEE. NO, THAT AIN'T IT. FLOAT LIKE A, UH—

44. UH, MUHAMMAD, I BELIEVE IT'S, "FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY...

45. STING LIKE A BEE."

46. OH, YEAH. YEAH, THANKS, SUGAR. THAT'S RIGHT.

47. FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFINGER, STINK LIKE A BEAN. YEAH.

48. OH!

49. ROUND EIGHT. ROPE-A-DOPE.

50. PRETTY FUNNY, ALI.

51. I'LL GET THE DOOR.

52. ROUND OVER.

53. OH, WOW.

54. IT'S A BABY! WHO ORDERED THE BABY?

55. WITH PEPPERONI?

56. HEY.

57. WAIT A MINUTE. WHOSE BABY IS THIS?

58. WELL, HE'S ABOUT YOUR SIZE, SUGAR.

59. YEAH, BUT IT TALKS LIKE YOU...

60. LIKE ALI.

61. THERE'S A NOTE. LET'S READ IT.

62. LET'S SEE WHAT THIS NOTE SAYS.

63. I DON'T KNOW. YOU? I CAN'T READ IT.

64. UH, "DEAR CHAMP, REMEMBER YOUR NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY?

65. WELL, HERE'S YOUR BABY."

66. WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, IT SAID "CHAMP."

67. ANY ONE OF US.

68. THAT PARTY, YOU KNOW.

69. WELL, I-IT'S SIGNED "JUDY."

70. OHH! JUDY! YEAH.

71. WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE TURNS WITH THE BABY TOO.

72.

73. U-UH, I THINK HE'S HUNGRY!

74. WITH THE BABY? GIVE HIM A BOTTLE.

75. SOMETHIN' FOR THE BABY.

76. ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BABY, JUST SWISH IT AROUND IN YOUR MOUTH AND SPIT IT OUT.

77. YOU'LL GET CRAMPS.

78. YEAH, ALL RIGHT, CHAMP, COME ON.

79. SWISH IT AROUND. SWISH. NOW SPIT!

80. THERE YOU GO.

81. THERE YOU GO.

82. HE'S STILL CRYIN'.

83. UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD CHANGE HIS DIAPER OR SOMETHIN'.

84. LET'S TRY THAT.

85. OH, WOW! LOOKS LIKE THE LITTLE FELLA HAD A PRETTY BAD ACCIDENT.

86. NO, MICHAEL, IT'S A GIRL.

87. OHH!

88. THAT'S IT. I'LL HANDLE THIS.

89. COME ON, LITTLE GIRL. IT'S THE SUGAR. LOOK CLOSE NOW.

90. IN ALL YOUR LIFE, YOU'LL NEVER LAY EYES ON A MORE BEAUTIFUL MAN.

91.

92. PRETTY FUNNY.

93. OH, WAIT. WE GOTTA FINISH THIS.

94. UM, GET SOME POWDER. I HEAR BABIES CAN GET RASHES.

95. D-DID YOU SAY SOMETHIN' ABOUT ROACHES?

96. I DON'T WANT THIS BABY LIVIN' WITH ROACHES.

97. HI. IT'S ME, MUHAMMAD ALI.

98. Z-CON ROACH SPRAY, THE MOST POWERFUL SPRAY IN THE WORLD.

99. I SAID "RASHES," NOT "ROACHES," ALI. OH.

100. COME ON, GUYS, DO SOMETHIN'. SHE'S CRYIN'.

101. WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

102. OF TOMMY HEARNS.

103. OKAY, BABY, THIS IS AN IMPRESSION OF TOMMY HEARNS...

104. OF OUR FIRST FIGHT.

105. SHE LIKED THAT! SHE LIKED IT!

106. SHE LIKED IT.

107. ALL RIGHT, LET'S SING HER TO SLEEP. READY? HIT IT, GUYS.

108. THREE CHAMPS AND A BABY.

109. THE UNANIMOUS DECISION... IS COMEDY!

110.

111. GREETINGS.

112. I'M MARGARET LINSFORD-HALL, AND THIS IS MY INTERPRETER MR. MBUTU.

113. [ Interpreting In Naganawanese ]

114. MARGARET LINSFORD-HALL— BUNG-TANGA-NDOSILLEH!

115. TO APPOINT ME AMBASSADOR...

116. TO YOUR LITTLE NATION...

117. SENDING ME TO MAJORCA, AS I HAD EXPECTED.

118.

119. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, BASED ON THE BRIEFING I RECEIVED IN WASHINGTON,

120. REALLY RATHER QUAINT,

121. SORT OF WAY.

122.

123. UH, WE HAVE MUCH TO OFFER YOUR COUNTRY...

124. AGRICULTURAL ASSISTANCE AND HUNGER RELIEF.

125.

126. I-I'M VERY SORRY THAT I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE,

127. BUT MR. MBUTU HAS BEEN SO KIND AS TO TEACH ME A PHRASE TO CLOSE WITH.

128. UM—

129. JUM-BAKOO, BARE BOOTY...

130. CUM BWEE-BWEE...

131. UH, BANGO-BANGO.

132.

133. MAY I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK WHILE YOU WAIT?

134. YEAH. I'D LIKE TO UNWIND. COULD YOU GET ME A CHABLIS?

135. BLIND DATE, MONSIEUR?

136. YEAH. HOW'D YOU KNOW?

137. WHEN YOU ARE FRENCH,

138. YOU CAN JUST TELL.

139. YOU KNOW, IT'S GETTING HARD TO CLIMB THE CORPORATE LADDER BEING SINGLE.

140. THE PROPER WIFE...

141. IS IMPORTANT TO ONE'S PROFESSIONAL IMAGE IN THE BUSINESS WORLD.

142. OUI. OUI.

143. THE DATING SERVICE I'M WITH SAYS THIS GIRL IS ONE HELL OF A CATCH.

144. INDEPENDENT, STRONG, EXCITING, WELL-TRAVELED.

145. I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING HER.

146.

147. YOU MUST BE HARVEY.

148. I'M GRACE JONES.

149. HI. HARVEY BENNETT.

150. DO YOU THINK I'M SEXY? UM—

151. I SAID, DO YOU FIND ME SEXY?

152.

153. YES! EXTREMELY!

154. I THOUGHT SO.

155. MAY I GET YOU SOMETHING, MONSIEUR?

156. I MEAN, MADAME.

157. I'M IN THE MOOD FOR SEAFOOD.

158. AH, WELL, TONIGHT'S MENU HAS SAUTÉED OYSTERS,

159. DEEP-FRIED SHRIMP...

160. AND THE SPECIAL OF THE DAY, A SHELEKETEPELETOIS FOR TWO...

161. LE-LE-LE-LE ON THE SIDE.

162. I WANT ALLIGATOR.

163. ALLIGATOR?

164. TO COOK... ALLIGATOR.

165. I LIKE IT RAW!

166. - GOOD LUCK, MONSIEUR.

167. UH—

168. UH, GRACE, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO WITH YOUR SPARE TIME?

169. I LIKE TO CHEW GLASS,

170. I LIKE TO RIDE SHARKS,

171. OFF OF GUMMI BEARS.

172. POUR MADEMOISELLE BUTCH!

173. ONE MINUTE, HARVEY.

174. STAND BACK, YOU WEAKLING!

175.

176.

177. WAITER! CHECK, PLEASE!

178. OF MY TAIL, HARVEY?

179. NO, THANK YOU, GRACE. I'VE GOT TO BE RUNNING. I'VE GOT A FAX COMING INTO THE OFFICE.

180. IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME.

181. IT'S A REAL IMPORTANT FAX.

182. THE FUN IS JUST ABOUT TO BEGIN.

183. MY SHRUNKEN HEAD COLLECTION, HARVEY!

184. OH, NO— AAH!

185.

186. ARE YOU OVERWEIGHT?

187. DIET AND EXERCISE PROGRAMS,

188. ONLY TO FAIL MISERABLY?

189. THEN GIVE IT UP!

190. IT'S TIME YOU ACCEPT YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE.

191. WE ACCEPT THE REAL YOU...

192. CONDOMINIUM ESTATES.

193. HEFTY WORLD ACCEPTS YOU...

194. BECAUSE IT'S A SPECIALLY DESIGNED CONDOMINIUM COMMUNITY...

195. JUST FOR PLUMP, OR "HUSKY" PEOPLE.

196. THE SECOND YOU ARRIVE,

197. OUR 24-HOUR FORKLIFT SERVICE PICKS YOU UP AND WHISKS YOU HOME,

198. ROLL YOU UP THE REINFORCED RAMP...

199. ENTRANCE WAY.

200. NEED A SHOWER?

201. ATTENDANTS ARE THERE AGAIN TO HOSE YOU DOWN...

202. THOSE HARD-TO-REACH PLACES.

203. HOW LITTLE YOU EAT, YOU'LL STILL GAIN WEIGHT,

204. SO WE ENCOURAGE YOU.

205. CONGRATULATIONS, MR. STEVENS.

206. ANOTHER 40 POUNDS!

207. YOU'LL HAVE LESS AND LESS ENERGY,

208. BUT YOU'LL LEARN TO DEPEND ON US TO HELP YOU...

209. RECREATIONAL NEEDS. ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO—

210. ALSO, BECAUSE MR. STOMACH SOMETIMES FEELS A LITTLE... GRUMBLY,

211. THESE EMERGENCY FOOD STATIONS EVERY 50 FEET...

212. ALONG MAJOR STREETS.

213. SO TRY OUT HEFTY WORLD.

214. WE KNOW THE LONGER YOU STAY, THE HARDER IT WILL BE FOR YOU TO LEAVE.

215. YO, YO, YO, WHAZZUP, ALL YOU BAD-BOY BARGAIN HUNTERS?

216. IT'S TIME FOR THE HOMEBOY USED CAR SALE.

217. I'M WHIZ. THIS IS THE ICEMAN. CHILLIN'.

218. YO, WE GOT ALL TYPE OF CARS FOR YOU TO CHOOSE FROM.

219. OF THEM!

220. BATTING NEXT, KIRK GIBSON!

221. YO, CHECK OUT THIS LOVEY-DOVEY RIGHT HERE.

222. TELL 'EM WHAT IT GOT. YO, IT GOT EVERYTHING.

223. IT GOT MAG WHEELS ON IT. IT GOT A BOSE SYSTEM IN IT.

224. IT GOT A C.D. PLAYER IN IT! YO!

225. YO, YOU COULD PULL ALL THE HONEYS IN THIS.

226. - WANNA KEEP IT? - YEAH.

227. I'M SORRY, CUSTOMERS, THIS WAS MERELY A DISPLAY ITEM.

228. BUT DON'T YOU FRET NONE 'CAUSE WE GOT SOME 'NOTHER STUFF OVER HERE.

229. LOVEY-DOVEY TENDERONI.

230. YO, IT GOT A TELEPHONE IN IT. YO, WHIZ!

231. WHAT? I'M GOIN' CRAZY.

232. DON'T DO THAT! I'M GOIN' CRAZY!

233. HE'S SLASHIN' PRICES!

234. IN HALF! FORTY-NINE DOLLARS!

235. YO, AND IF YOU ACT NOW,

236. OF GARBAGE WITH THE BIRD DOO-DOO ON IT FOR FREE.

237. YO, GIVE 'EM THE NUMBER. OKAY, HOLD UP.

238. THE NUMBER IS:

239. REMEMBER, WE'RE WILLING TO WORK WITH YOU. THAT'S RIGHT.

240. - NO JOB? - NO PROBLEM.

241. - NO CREDIT? - NO PROBLEM.

242. - NO MONEY? - PROBLEM.

243. A STRICTLY CASH-TYPE BASIS.

244. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYIN'. SUPPOSE I GOT A FAMILY.

245. DOWN HERE.

246. TALK ABOUT SPACIOUS!

247. SO WHETHER IT'S A FAMILY OUTING...

248. OR JUST SNEAKIN' A FEW FRIENDS ACROSS THE BORDER—

249. YO, THIS BABY SEATS 60.

250. THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY SPECIAL.

251. AND IF YOU HURRY NOW, WE'LL EVEN PERSONALIZE IT FOR YOU.

252. UH-OH. YO, IT'S THE BOTTOM OF THE EIGHTH. WE ALMOST OUTTA HERE.

253. BUT DON'T WORRY. IF YOU DON'T CATCH US HERE—

254. WE'RE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER SALE AT THE FORUM DURING THE LUTHER VANDROSS CONCERT.

255. SAYIN'... PEACE!

256. ♪ OHHHH ♪

257. CRISSY!

258. HUH? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

259. I'M SITTING AND WAITING AND BEING QUIET.

260. AND NOW,

261. IT'S TIME FOR... BLACK WORLD!

262. YEA!

263. AND IN BLACK WORLD,

264. HAVE THE MONEY,

265. DOESN'T HAVE TO, UM,

266. AND CLEAN UP LATE AT NIGHT...

267. AND WAIT AND BE QUIET.

268. A-AND THEN YOU'RE SLEEPY.

269. AND THEN, WHEN YOU GO TO SCHOOL, UM, IT'S NO RATS IN THE CORNER.

270. AND NO MICE EITHER.

271. AND THE BOOKS ARE BRAND-NEW, AND THEY HAVE PICTURES OF BLACK PEOPLE IN 'EM.

272. OH, AND ALL YOUR DOLLS ARE BLACK.

273. AND NOT NO BLACK BARBIE EITHER,

274. WITH BLACK PEOPLE HAIR AND A BLACK NOSE.

275. AND HER NAME IS, UM—

276. AND HER NAME IS LAWANDA.

277. AND— AND— OH— OH, AND WHEN YOU GO TO THE STORE,

278. UM, THE WHITE PEOPLE DON'T FOLLOW YOU AROUND...

279. AND ASK YOU IF YOU HAVE MONEY, LIKE THEY KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY...

280. 'CAUSE YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T GIVE YOU ANY MONEY 'CAUSE SHE NOT HAVE ANY MONEY.

281. AND THEN— 'CAUSE THEY NOT THERE ANYWAY.

282. 'CAUSE THE BLACK PEOPLE OWN THE STORES, AND THEY ARE NICE TO YOU.

283. AND THE WHITE PEOPLE, TH-THEY—

284. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.

285. BACK IN WHITE WORLD.

286. BUT, UM— OH! OH!

287. A-AND IN BLACK WORLD,

288. THE PRESIDENT IS...

289. THE BOYZ!

290. YEA! YEAH!

291. AND— NO— NO— AND, UM—

292. AND JUST— NO, OKAY—

293. IS THE KING! YEA!

294. OH! OH! SHH.

295. FOR YOU TODAY.

296. HERE WE HAVE—

297. IT'S— YES.

298. IT'S THE QUEEN OF BLACK WORLD.

299. YEA!

300. YES, AND I WANT TO SAY...

301. I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE...

302. BECAUSE WE ARE CELEBRATING...

303. THAT SOUTH AFRICA IS FREE!

304. YEA, AND 'CAUSE WE ARE GOING TO RELEASE...

305. ALL OF THE POLITICAL PRISONERS,

306. STARTING WITH, UM, THE GREAT NELSON MANDELA.

307. YEA! UM—

308. AND, UM, AND... THE GREAT—

309. OH! OKAY.

310. JAMES BROWN! YEA!

311. YEA! YEA!

312. CRISSY! H-H-HUH?

313. DOING?

314. SHH!

315. NOTHING.

316. WELL, COME ON, THEN!

317. OKAY.

318.

319. [ Audience Applauding, Cheering ]

320. THANK YOU.

321. A GOOD TIME TONIGHT.

322. WE ENJOYED OURSELVES. WE HAD A GOOD TIME.

323. FLY GIRLS, TELL 'EM WHAT TO DO.

324. SEE YA NEXT WEEK!