In Living Color 1x2

Directed by

Arsenio Hall welcomes Marion Barry to his show. Also: Keenen and Damon Wayans introduce the "Do-It-Yourself Milli Vanilli Kit."

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.

2. THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING. I'M KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.

3. WELCOME TO IN LIVING COLOR.

4. WHO SENT THOSE WONDERFUL LETTERS AFTER SEEING LAST WEEK'S SHOW.

5. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. BEFORE WE GET THE PARTY STARTED,

6. TO THE MAN WHO MAKES THE BUTTS BOUNCE,

7. THE KING OF BEATS, D.J. S.W. ONE.

8. AND, OF COURSE, WE CAN'T FORGET THE LOVELY LADIES OF IN LIVING COLOR.

9. CARRIE ANN, DEIDRE,

10. LISA, CARI AND MICHELLE.

11. TONIGHT. I WANT YOU TO CHILL WITH US FOR ABOUT A HALF.

12. LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED RIGHT. DO IT.

13. I WANT TO BE VANILLI.

14. NO, YOU CAN'T BE VANILLI.

15. I AM ALWAYS VANILLI.

16. NO, BUT YOU CAN'T BE VANILLI TWO DAYS STRAIGHT.

17. WHY NOT? BECAUSE...

18. AND I'M FROM FRENCH.

19. OH.

20. NOW I GET IT. MAKES SENSE TO ME.

21. MILLI VANILLI COMMERCIAL, TAKE ONE.

22. HELLO, WE ARE MILLI... VANILLI.

23. YOU KNOW, LOTS OF PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ENORMOUS SUCCESS OF MILLI VANILLI.

24. AND NEITHER DO WE.

25. TO TELL YOU THAT YOU TOO CAN BE MILLI VANILLI...

26. AND OUR NEW DO-IT-YOURSELF...

27. MILLI VANILLI KIT.

28. THAT IS RIGHT. IN JUST 10 MINUTES—

29. COUNT THEM. FIVE, 10.

30. YOU DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO THAT, HUH?

31. TEN MINUTES, YOU TOO CAN LOOK AND SOUND JUST LIKE MILLI... VANILLI.

32. THEY GET, VANILLI.

33. WELL, FOR ONLY 39.95,

34. YOU'LL GET THIS.

35. MILLI VANILLI HAIR.

36. VERY EASY TO APPLY,

37. COLOR YOU LIKE.

38. PLUS YOU'LL GET THIS.

39. THAT WILL GIVE YOU—

40. POSITIVE ENERGY.

41. WHAT ELSE? LET'S NOT FORGET OUR TERRIBLE ACCENTS.

42. YOU'LL ALSO GET THESE.

43. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'LL LISTEN TO THESE CARTOON CHARACTERS—

44. PEPÉ LE PEW, BORIS AND NATASHA, ELMER FUDD—

45. [ Imitates Elmer Fudd Chuckling ]

46. TO BE MILLI VANILLI.

47. NO, BUT NOT YET. NO, NO.

48. FIRST, YOU GO OUT AND SEE THE LATEST, HOTTEST, FRESHEST, EXCITING DANCES,

49. BUT DON'T DO THEM. NO, NO, NO.

50. DO THIS INSTEAD.

51. MILLI VANILLI.

52. SO GET A FRIEND. BECAUSE IT TAKES TWO JERKS TO BE MILLI VANILLI.

53. ♪ DON'T FORGET OUR NUMBER ♪

54. SO ACT NOW BECAUSE WE ARE ALMOST OUT OF STYLE.

55. SEND 39.95 TO:

56. MILLI VANILLI, P.O. BOX 227, PARIS, CALIFORNIA 90029.

57. IT'S THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW STARRING ARSENIO HALL.

58. AND HERE'S EDDIE MURPHY'S BEST FRIEND— AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT—

59. ARSENIO...

60. OOOOO...

61.

62. HALL!

63. WOOH! WOOH! WOOH!

64. YES! YES!

65. OH, YEAH!

66. OH, BOY!

67.

68. THAT'S MY DOG POUND RIGHT THERE,

69. AND THIS IS MY POSSE.

70. YES. OH, BOY.

71. GOOD EVENING.

72. WOOH! WOOH! WOOH!

73. NOW, I COULDN'T BEGIN THE SHOW WITHOUT INTRODUCING A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.

74. STOPPED IN TONIGHT. WE WERE HANGIN' OUT AT THE CHINA CLUB LAST NIGHT.

75. A REAL PARTY ANIMAL. WON'T YOU PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR MY MAIN MAN,

76. POPE JOHN PAUL II!

77. YES!

78. POPE, STRIVE TO BE NUMBER ONE.

79. YES!

80. OH, WE GOT A GREAT SHOW.

81. SO, WITH NO MORE DELAY, LET'S GET BUSY!

82. OH, BOY.

83. NOW I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MY FIRST GUEST.

84. A VERY, VERY SPECIAL MAN. VERY TALENTED.

85. HE'S JUST WRITTEN A BOOK, HE'S IN A NEW FILM,

86. AS MAYOR OF WASHINGTON, D.C.

87. FOR A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE,

88. MARION BARRY!

89. LET'S JUST GET RIGHT INTO IT.

90. NOW, YOU'RE IN THE PRESS A LOT LATELY.

91. INVITING YOU TO HOTELS.

92. EVERYWHERE YOU GO.

93. WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A SEX SYMBOL?

94. UH, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, ARSENIO.

95. I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF A SEX SYMBOL.

96. WHO'S BEEN WRONGLY ACCUSED OF A CRIME,

97. AND I'M HERE TONIGHT TO CLEAR MY NAME.

98. AGAINST ME ARE FALSE.

99. THERE'S BEEN NO PROOF OF ANY WRONGDOIN' ON MY PART.

100. HEY, YOU, WAKE UP!

101. DEEP, DEEP.

102. SO, I HAVEN'T READ IT, BUT MY PEOPLE TELL ME YOU'VE WRITTEN A BOOK.

103. UH, WELL, I DIDN'T WRITE A BOOK.

104. I WAS BOOKED—

105. OF AN ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE.

106. BUT THAT'S NOT THE IMAGE I'D LIKE TO PORTRAY HERE TONIGHT.

107. I'M ABOUT THE BUSINESS OF GOVERNMENT. YES.

108. MY REELECTION CAMPAIGN ALREADY? OH, EDDIE'S HERE?

109. I SAID "ALREADY," NOT "EDDIE."

110. I SAID "ALREADY," NOT "EDDIE."

111. OH. OH.

112. I'M SORRY. I GET A LITTLE CONFUSED 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,

113. EDDIE IS MY BEST FRIEND.

114. OUT THERE WHO DON'T KNOW,

115. THE BIGGEST MOVIE STAR IN THE WORLD.

116. SITTING OUT THERE, GOING,

117. "I KNOW WHO EDDIE MURPHY IS. I SEE EDDIE MURPHY ON TV."

118. SAY, SAY, SAY, ARSENIO?

119.

120. OH, BOY. SO,

121. BE APPEARING NEXT?

122. UH, WELL, THIS FRIDAY I'LL BE APPEARING IN FRONT OF THE GRAND JURY.

123. WHOO! WHOO-HOO! WHOO!

124. - NOW, WHAT'S SO FUNNY? - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

125. AFTER EVERY THIRD QUESTION.

126. SO, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE IN A NEW FILM?

127. UH, NOW, WAIT. NO. SEE, THEY TOLD ME...

128. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO ASK ME ABOUT THAT. AH, BROTHER.

129. TO MORGAN FREEMAN OR DENZEL WASHINGTON,

130. BUT, BROTHER, I HEAR YOU ARE SMOKING.

131. NO, I'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT THAT—

132. SANDY, DO WE HAVE A CLIP?

133. I'VE GOT IT RIGHT HERE, ARSENIO. KICK IT!

134. WOULD YOU LET GO! MAN, I'M THE MAYOR OF WASHINGTON, D.C.!

135. THIS IS A SETUP! THIS IS A SETUP!

136. GET THAT CAMERA OFF ME! THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME THAT Y'ALL WAS COMING.

137. HEY, LEROY! LEROY, MAN!

138. CALL WHITNEY! CALL— IS JESSE IN TOWN?

139. CALL AL SHARPTON, MAN!

140. I'M NOTHIN', MAN! I'M NOTHIN'.

141. TO CLEAR MY NAME!

142. I'M RUINED!

143. YES, THAT WAS SO REAL.

144. I'M NOBODY. I'M NOTHIN'. YOU'VE RUINED MY CAREER.

145. THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

146. MICHAEL WOLFF, TAKE US HOME WITH SOME OF THAT NASTY, BOOGER-NOSE FUNK.

147. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME, ALL THE WAY FROM DETROIT,

148. HOMEBOY CHOIR.

149. ONE, TWO, THREE, GO.

150. I'M STANDING HERE WITH THE LEGENDARY SUGAR RAY LEONARD.

151. RAY, HOW DOES THE SHOW LOOK TO YOU SO FAR?

152. WELL, LARRY, I HAVE TO CALL THE SHOW PRETTY EVEN.

153. SO FAR, THE AUDIENCE HAS BEEN ABLE TO TAKE EVERYTHING...

154. HAS DISHED OUT.

155. OF THE VIDEOTAPE,

156. WE'LL SEE THAT THE AUDIENCE OUTNUMBERS THE CAST 30 TO ONE.

157. LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. IF YOU WERE IN THIS CAST'S SHOES RIGHT NOW,

158. WHAT WOULD SUGAR BE DOING?

159. WELL, LARRY, LIKE I SAID,

160. THIS IS A VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY TOUGH AUDIENCE.

161. THEY DID TO FRANK'S PLACE.

162. IF I WERE THE CAST RIGHT NOW, I'D BE GOING FOR THE KNOCKOUT.

163. MARVIN HAGLER. HE SCARED ME.

164. A GIANT MILK DUD. I WAS AFRAID OF HIM.

165. AND WAS JABBING.

166. UH, RAY— I WAS JABBING BACK.

167. UH, RAY.

168. WELL, WE'RE ABOUT READY TO START THAT FIFTH ROUND.

169. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE GREAT SUGAR RAY LEONARD.

170. THANK YOU. BIGGER WORDS THAN I USUALLY USE.

171. CAPTAIN'S LOG, STARDATE 14.

172. WE'RE BEING PULLED TOWARDS A HOSTILE PLANET.

173. I'M HOPING THAT SCOTTY WILL BE ABLE TO ACTIVATE THE BACKUP CONTROL SYSTEMS.

174. GOD, I FEEL SO VULNERABLE.

175. CAPTAIN, I'M PICKING UP SOME STRANGE SIGNALS.

176. INTERGALACTIC OPPRESSORS, SIR.

177. CAPTAIN, INTRUDERS ARE APPROACHING THE BRIDGE, SIR.

178. WHO ARE YOU?

179. LOUIS FARRAKHAN.

180. SPOCK. SPOCK, WHO IS HE?

181. A FORMER CALYPSO SINGER, CAPTAIN,

182. OF A 20th-CENTURY AFRICAN-AMERICAN...

183. KNOWN AS THE NATION OF ISLAM.

184. SOME INCENSE?

185. BEAN PIE, MY BROTHER? NO, THANK YOU.

186. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

187. I'VE COME TO WARN YOUR CREW—

188. WARN YOUR CREW. WARN YOUR CREW.

189. OF THEIR ENSLAVEMENT—

190. ENSLAVEMENT. ENSLAVEMENT.

191. - ABOARD THIS VESSEL. - THAT'S POPPYCOCK.

192. TO DO ANYTHING THEY'D LIKE.

193. THAT KEPT ELVIS THE KING.

194. THAT MADE THAT POOR CHILD, LATOYA JACKSON, THINK SHE COULD SING.

195. THAT'S GOT WHITE BOYS RAPPING...

196. AND THE FAT BOYS ACTING.

197. HEY, MISTER, YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE AND TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.

198. UHURA, GET ME STARFLEET COMMAND. YES, CAPTAIN.

199. OH, MY NUBIAN PRINCESS!

200. PLACED HIS CALLS?

201. AND ALL I SEE IS THE BACK OF YOUR NAPPY WIG.

202. UHURA, STARFLEET, NOW.

203. WELL, WAIT A SECOND! HE'S RIGHT.

204. I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR 15 YEARS...

205. AND AIN'T GOT ONE RAISE YET.

206. IS THAT ALL I'M GOOD FOR? TO BE YOUR LITTLE SECRETARY...

207. CHOCOLATE FANTASY?

208. - SHH! - YOU GET UP OFF YOUR FLAT BUTT...

209. YOUR DAMN SELF, 'CAUSE I AIN'T BUDGING.

210. PREACH ON, BROTHER! YES, SISTER.

211. MR. SULU, CALL SCOTTY.

212. OUT OF HERE.

213. WAIT A MINUTE, MR. SULU.

214. TOUCH THAT DIAL, ANSWER ME THIS QUESTION—

215. AROUND HERE?

216. I DO.

217. MR. SULU. YOU CALL ME BUDDHA HEAD...

218. IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. WELL—

219. I'VE BEEN IN SPACE ALL THIS TIME, AND I HAVEN'T HAD ONE WOMAN YET.

220. THE UGLY ONES, CAPTAIN.

221. MY LOINS ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE.

222. I WANT TO DO THE NASTY.

223. THAT'S RIGHT. RISE UP FROM YOUR OPPRESSOR! RISE UP!

224. MR. SPOCK, MY FRIEND, WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

225. WHY DO YOU SAY WE, CAUCASOID?

226. IT'S OBVIOUS, CAPTAIN, THAT MINISTER FARRAKHAN IS RIGHT.

227. SPOCK, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR VULCAN MIND?

228. WELL, LOGICALLY SPEAKING, CAPTAIN,

229. AND MOST INTELLIGENT PERSON ABOARD THIS VESSEL,

230. YET I'M ONLY SECOND-IN-COMMAND. MM-HMM.

231. I SHOULD BE CAPTAIN,

232. AND I'M ALSO A BETTER DIRECTOR THAN YOU.

233. CAN'T YOU SEE? IT'S DISCRIMINATION!

234. YOU GET OFF MY SHIP, BUDDY!

235. WEAPON DOWN, CAPTAIN.

236. YOU CANNOT HARM ME.

237. 400 YEARS OF SLAVERY—

238. SLAVERY! SLAVERY!

239. 300 YEARS OF APARTHEID—

240. APARTHEID! APARTHEID!

241. AND 25 YEARS OF THE JEFFERSONS IN SYNDICATION.

242. FARRAKHAN!

243. GO TO YOUR ROOM.

244. OH, I LOVE IT WHEN I DO THAT TO THEM.

245. NUBIAN PRINCESS, CALL SYLVIA'S SOUL FOOD SHACK.

246. MAKE RESERVATIONS.

247. BLACKENED WHITEFISH.

248. MR. SULU, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE?

249. SYLVIA.

250. WELL, ALL RIGHT THEN, MY HORNY ASIAN BROTHER.

251. WARP FACTOR FIVE. WE'RE GOING HOME.

252. 125th STREET.

253.

254. HI, I'M HOKE COLBURN.

255. EVERY MORNING AROUND 7:30,

256. AND I TAKES HER TO HER FAVORITE PLACE.

257. SLOW DOWN NOW. YES, MISS DAISY.

258. DRIVIN' LIKE A MADMAN. SEE, WE DIDN'T ALWAYS GET ALONG SO GOOD.

259. MISS DAISY DON'T LIKE NOBODY DOING NOTHING FOR HER, ESPECIALLY NO COLORED.

260. "INDEPENDENT."

261. THE REAL TRUTH IS, MISS DAISY DON'T DRIVE SO GOOD.

262. SHE CRASHED UP HER CAR, OOH, SOMETHIN' BAD.

263. UH, WHAT'S HIS NAME?

264. YOU KNOW, DAN AYKROYD.

265. OF HER AND GIVE HER SOME COMPANIONSHIP.

266. NOW, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING. YES, MISS DAISY.

267. YOU DON'T DRIVE ANY BETTER THAN I DO. YES, MISS DAISY.

268. SHE NOT AT ALL THAT BAD.

269. AND WRINKLED UP.

270. AND I KNOWS HOW TO MAKE HER HAPPY...

271. 'CAUSE I GIVES HER JUST WHAT SHE NEEDS.

272. NOW, NOW, NOW, DON'T MUSS UP MY DRESS, HOKE.

273. YES, MISS DAISY.

274. RIDIN' MISS DAISY.

275. COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.

276. OH, HOKE! YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!

277. THANK YOU.

278. ON BEHALF OF THE CAST, WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW TONIGHT.

279. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. GOOD NIGHT.