Impractical Jokers 6x20

1. Coming up, what's got Murr acting shady?

2. Why is Sal getting up close and personal?

3. You can't unsee a family member's genitals.

4. And which joker will be overexposed

5. in tonight's impromptu punishment?

6. Prepare for something amazing.

7. Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?

8. I want my mommy!

9. I will never forgive you!

10. Larry!

11. Today we're at Food Bazaar Supermarket asking shoppers

12. to do us a solid and hold onto something for us.

13. Yes, Joseph, but the catch is the weird item

14. that we're asking them to hold

15. has been given to us by the other guys.

16. If you can't get a stranger to hold onto that item

17. until you return, you lose.

18. Considering what you guys are gonna have me hold,

19. can I go first? - You should go first.

20. - Here we go. - There he is.

21. That's our friend Carissa, who decided to help us out today.

22. How come you're holding the leash,

23. but she seems like she's in charge?

24. I'm in over my head here, fellas.

25. Sometimes we even go too far.

26. They have the rice pudding.

27. Do me a favor? I got to run and get some applesauce.

28. Can you hold her for me for one second?

29. I'll just — I'll be right back in a moment.

30. - He's doing it! - I can't believe it!

31. Dude! Don't let her go, please.

32. Carissa, can you say, "Will you please let me go?"

33. Will you please let me go?

34. Please?

35. - You got to come back.

36. Thank you. I appreciate that.

37. Yeah, it would have been bad if you let her go.

38. - Wow! - Good wait.

39. I can't believe it!

40. Stay in school.

41. Here we go. A jar full of poison.

42. I need somebody to hold this.

43. Sorry. Can you hold this poison for me real quick?

44. Just hold it real quick. Just — come on, come on.

45. Just real quick. Why won't you hold my poison?

46. Smart. Smart.

47. Waffles — I got to grab.

48. - Waffles? Yeah. - Could you hold that real quick?

49. - Nah. - Smart.

50. Well, could you hold this poison real quick?

51. Okay, that's smart.

52. Hold this poison for me real quick?

53. Smart.

54. Smart.

55. Actually, want to do me a solid, hold that real quick.

56. I got to run and get mashed potatoes.

57. It isn't pee. It's poison.

58. Just hold it. Just...

59. You put her in front of you? Where's chivalry?

60. You think it's gonna be easy to get somebody to hold this?

61. Really?

62. Oh, my gosh.

63. "Could you hold that real quick?"

64. Do you mind holding it real quick for me?

65. I got to get macaroni salad, be back in one second.

66. Careful, it's heavy, now.

67. Two hands 'cause it could tip.

68. Be back in one sec.

69. She's getting so annoyed.

70. You know how heavy it is to look at?

71. She's reading the circular.

72. Ask her to move and get something near her.

73. Excuse me, miss.

74. Now she's getting pissed.

75. Why don't you go check her circular to see what's on sale.

76. Let me just see this.

77. - Look at the annoyance!

78. - Oh, my God. - She's so annoyed.

79. Murray, you're pushing the envelope

80. a little too far, buddy.

81. She's not holding it anymore!

82. - Ah! You lose! - She isn't — Aaaahhh!

83. Look at the slick look on her face.

84. - Yes! - Yes.

85. You're not holding it anymore.

86. Smart.

87. Pair of mousetraps.

88. Buddy, here, this is what we want you to do.

89. We want you to set one mouse trap off

90. before you hand off the other one.

91. The one we're handing off to the person doesn't work.

92. Right. Of course not.

93. Let's see if someone will carry a mouse trap

94. and potentially lose their fingers.

95. Oh, whoa! Ah! Damn it. Ah!

96. C-Could you hold that for one second for me?

97. No way in hell!

98. You s— You sure?

99. Yeah.

100. These things hurt.

101. I-I've broken enough hands already

102. to know that these things hurt, you what I'm saying?

103. - Oh, okay. - Do you know where the — aw!

104. Oh!

105. Could you do me a favor and hold that one second?

106. Do you know — do you know if the, uh —

107. if the bread's down that way?

108. - Yeah, it's down that way. - Ow!

109. - Oh, my God.

110. All right, I'm done. I'm done.

111. I'm just gonna...

112. I'm gonna assume she's not gonna hold it.

113. I'm gonna get out of here.

114. That was a hard no, buddy.

115. Q, Murr, and Joe couldn't get a helping hand,

116. so they're first up on the loser board.

117. We're here in the park where Sal and Murr

118. are gonna make up words to strangers.

119. Joe and I are gonna give them a made-up word

120. that they have to come up with a crazy-sounding explanation for.

121. If we can't get them to admit

122. that they've heard of that word, we lose.

123. Bajungle. You guys heard of it?

124. No.

125. It's a hot one today, right? It's insane.

126. There you go. It's hot out.

127. It's hot, I can't do it. I can't do it.

128. - Joe! - I can't do it. It's hot out.

129. - I mean, if he's doing it. - ... if you want to.

130. Maybe dip in the water out today.

131. 95 degrees, I'd do it.

132. I feel like I've wandered into the wrong set.

133. Okay, Sal. Your word... "vambommled."

134. I could probably take the train by Coney Island.

135. I was supposed to go with my roommate,

136. but everything got vambommled.

137. Vambommled?

138. It's, uh, when you, uh...

139. when you can't unsee a family member's genitals.

140. - Oh, okay. - What?

141. You ever see a family member's...

142. You ever see a family member's genitalia?

143. One time. Yeah.

144. You can't unsee that. So, what do you call it?

145. You know what, I unsaw it. I blocked it out.

146. Sal, I'm getting pretty close to being vambuzzled back here.

147. - Look at this. - No.

148. So you sure you never heard of it?

149. Positive.

150. - Ohhh! - Oh!

151. - Nice try, buddy. - No success.

152. Here we go, here we go.

153. Are you serious? She's telling me my lip is sweating.

154. You think I give a flying

155. what is happening with me right now?

156. - She's like, "Your l— - Oh, hold on, yeah.

157. Go ahead. Let's make Joe..."

158. Look at me! I'm a monster!

159. - Well...

160. She's like, "Joe, your naked titties are sweaty."

161. Oh, you want me to blot? Hold on.

162. How are you doing in black pants and a long-sleeve shirt?

163. It's all I got, so.

164. The word is... "ponktacology."

165. Yeah. I'm doing some work with ponktacology.

166. Wow.

167. Ponktacology is the, um...

168. It's the science of getting a toddler just a little bit drunk.

169. It has amazing medical benefits.

170. - Yeah, I — no, yeah — - You know how back in the day —

171. The health benefits outweigh the inebriation factor.

172. It really does.

173. They're, you know, doing like a.7,8

174. on a Breathalyzer.

175. .7, you're dead, though, aren't you?

176. An elephant would be dead, never mind a toddler.

177. You've never heard of the word "ponktacology?"

178. Yeah! You've never heard of it?

179. I have sent —

180. No?

181. - He's out.

182. Both guys lost this war of words,

183. which means Murr is in the lead on the loser board.

184. Today, we're here at Cliffside Park Senior Center

185. showing senior citizens how to use technology.

186. While teaching the class, we're gonna have to do

187. and say whatever the other guys tell us to.

188. If you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.

189. You know, when I was your age,

190. I used technology uphill both ways.

191. Aw, there he goes.

192. Okay, side note — we have figured out

193. that if none of us say "no" in this challenge,

194. that Murray loses the episode mathematically.

195. So we're making a pact

196. that we're not gonna say "no" to anything

197. to force Murray to lose.

198. - This is a strong alliance. - Can't say "no" to anything.

199. Does that mean that we are gonna go easy on each other?

200. - Absolutely not. - No, definitely not.

201. - What, why wouldn't — - Play to win.

202. Okay, got it. Got it.

203. Oh, hello, guys. How are you?

204. - Hi, how are you today? - What are your names?

205. - I'm Lenny. - Joe.

206. Barbara. Introduce yourself as Major Tech Dude.

207. Major Tech Dude is what my friends call me.

208. Is that your title or is that your name?

209. "Major" is my title. Major Tech Dude.

210. Sal, there's an extra chair.

211. Why don't you get rid of it by throwing it.

212. All right, only three of us here.

213. So we don't need the extra chair, then.

214. - So rude.

215. All right, guys. So what we're gonna do

216. just a little tech review of a tablet.

217. Take a picture of you three.

218. So to take a picture, touch the camera.

219. It opens right up. All right, so one, two, and three.

220. Now say, "Barbara, you blinked in that photo,

221. but Lenny, you're my favorite.

222. I wish I had some treats to give you."

223. Aw, you blinked Barbara, you ruined the whole thing.

224. I'm sorry.

225. Lenny, you didn't blink. You're one of my favorites.

226. I wish I had a treat to give you.

227. Okay.

228. So weird.

229. Sal, clear your throat.

230. Q: "I'm sorry if I'm a bit hoarse."

231. Sorry if I'm a bit hoarse.

232. "A man had his hand on my throat last night."

233. A ma— uh...

234. Sorry if I'm a bit hoarse. - You said that.

235. - Yeah, sorry. - Yeah, 'cause he's stalling.

236. No, I'm — mm... Sor— oh...

237. "A man had his hand on my throat last night."

238. A m— A man had his hand on my throat last night.

239. Um, let's move along.

240. - Is your phone ringing, Sal? - You could set an alarm — no.

241. - Yeah. Yeah, it is. - Yeah it is.

242. - Just one second. - Turn around and say,

243. "Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm teaching these blueheads."

244. No, mm...

245. - Ooh!

246. Remember the pact, buddy.

247. Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm teaching these blueheads.

248. Oh, my God! I can't believe he said it!

249. So let's get right back into it.

250. Uh...

251. I got another surprise for Sal.

252. - Yeah? - Yeah.

253. The top left button here, it then sends out a signal...

254. What the... Oh, there's my technology...

255. This is my Segway.

256. So basically what you do is you click the top left

257. and it goes looking for —

258. Sorry.

259. So anyway...

260. - Look at the Segway! - It's gonna go into —

261. It's gonna find any signals that are in here.

262. The United States has its own websites

263. and every other country has their own websites.

264. So China has their own, Russia has their own,

265. South America has their own.

266. So you want to stay on dot-com.

267. Those are the Web-address standard dot-com...

268. What w—

269. "Uh, just stay away from Puerto Rican websites."

270. My last bit of advice for you guys,

271. and I'll leave you with this —

272. just stay away from Puerto Rican websites.

273. So, we're just gonna show a little bit of technology here.

274. Joe, stay strong. Remember the pact.

275. Got it, buddy.

276. What is going on, man?

277. All right, well...

278. "All right, hopefully this things works.

279. My dog pissed on it last night."

280. Yeah, hopefully this thing — this thing will work fine.

281. My dog pissed on it last night.

282. - No. Really? - Yeah.

283. Hosed it down, front to back, but it's got the cover.

284. It's one of those, so.

285. "Whose a bitch got to kiss around here

286. to get a cream soda?"

287. Whose a bitch got to kiss around here to get a cream soda?

288. got to kiss.

289. So step one, here, let's go...

290. "Now, has anybody been on the Internet before?"

291. So you guys know what the Internet is?

292. "Oh, you know the Internet? Treats for everyone!"

293. Great. Okay, so then it's treats for everybody.

294. They're in the cabinet right by your side.

295. Yeah, you guys got — we got these here for people

296. that knew what the Internet was. - Yep. Just drag it out, buddy.

297. Here's a bag of some ramen noodles for you guys.

298. Here you go, that's a ramen noodle.

299. You can take that home with you.

300. "You guys remember this from the Depression, right?"

301. Okay, you guys remember the ramen.

302. Right? That's from — from the — yeah...

303. Yeah.

304. The, uh, the uh...

305. Let's see, when was that big?

306. The Depression, people had that a lot.

307. The Dust Bowl, you know. You guys remember that.

308. Oh, wait a minute.

309. I can't believe he said it.

310. You could — If you want to, uh...

311. Joe, are they talking about you when you're not looking?

312. If you went to a suggested, uh...

313. So let's see if we have... You guys talking about me?

314. What?

315. Yes, we were.

316. 'Cause I'm looking — my focus is down here.

317. I didn't know — hold on.

318. That's a lot of sodium — 910 milligrams.

319. Yeah, that's right. They're delicious,

320. but they're not healthy.

321. Maybe one soup for two or three.

322. A lot of water.

323. I'm sitting right here.

324. Okay, let me see if I have...

325. Joe, under the table, just pull out the computer.

326. This is a computer. - Oh. Oh, my God.

327. This is older than me, for Christ's sake.

328. Oh, let's not get carried away.

329. The big difference here is first and foremost

330. is a physical keyboard.

331. You know what I mean? So the keyboard — these two...

332. Do you see smoke coming out of...

333. Oh, my God.

334. I see the smoke.

335. Aw, all right, well...

336. Look at the smoke coming out of it.

337. No, no, the problem's my —

338. the problem is my God dog pisses on everything.

339. Oh, don't blame him.

340. It pisses on everything. It was Cannoli, I bet.

341. This used to be convenient,

342. but now who wants to walk around with this?

343. You're killing me with the smoke.

344. I'm sorry. We'll get rid of it.

345. These fumes are fine. They're just melting plastic.

346. Probably toxic. You guys should be fine.

347. We're concentrating on tablets.

348. You guys have one of these?

349. - No, I don't. No. - "Should I speak in Spanish or?"

350. Should I speak in Spanish or?

351. - I'm not Spanish. - English. No.

352. "This isn't the señors' class? Oh, this is for seniors."

353. Oh, this is — this is for seniors.

354. I thought this was for señors.

355. "None of that Spanish bull."

356. None...

357. None of that Spanish bull , you know what I mean.

358. All right, here we go. - They're laughing.

359. Oh, look at them looking around!

360. Could you slide in just a little bit?

361. I want to get a picture of you guys.

362. There you go, look at that. Boom.

363. "Now, I'm gonna send this picture

364. we just took of you guys."

365. I'm gonna send this picture that we just took with you guys.

366. "So here's the address —

367. identityfraud..."

368. Identityfraud...

369. "... @gotchasuckers.com."

370. Gotcha suckers.

371. Gotcha... suckers.com.

372. Sent.

373. - All right. - "You can gamble online."

374. You can also gamble online.

375. "So now you guys don't have to clog up the casinos."

376. - W— Aww, that is... - The pact!

377. Like, New Jersey has made it

378. that you can actually gamble online

379. so you guys don't have to clog up the casinos.

380. "I mean, can a guy play a penny slot?"

381. I mean, can a guy play a penny slot,

382. you know what I'm saying?

383. Whew!

384. It's a good fan for when it gets hot in here.

385. Q, dial in this number to the top box there.

386. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna show you how to use FaceTime.

387. Here we go. So, yeah, you'll see.

388. So now I'm calling my buddy on video phone.

389. And, like, we'll be able to see each other.

390. Dude, I was waiting all day.

391. I'm in the parking lot, man. With everything you said.

392. I'm here, I'm doing the thing, I'm ready.

393. I'll be out in a minute.

394. I'm doing the class for the señors.

395. I know, but I'm ready. It's not gonna last much longer.

396. It gets dry very quick. I need you to come out.

397. You're breaking up. You're breaking up, pal.

398. You're breaking up.

399. You're breaking up.

400. "We're all wrapped up. I got to get back to the institution."

401. We're all wrapped up here. I got to get back to the institution.

402. A nut job.

403. - Hey! - Hey!

404. One more pact!

405. That's what I call an alliance, boys.

406. All right, so, with that, we have tonight's big loser,

407. and his name is Murr.

408. Murr doesn't know it yet, but he's about to get punished.

409. All right, Murr. Let's teach this class.

410. Your dad's a senior!

411. - Hi, Dad. - So welcome to your father.

412. Have a seat, your ass is about to get punished.

413. Oh, wha—?

414. You lost the episode, buddy. 'Cause none of us said "no."

415. That was the pact. - Uh...

416. I'm sorry for — for this.

417. This is Brian's hair.

418. Murray's dad has always been cooler than Murr.

419. Every time Murray would throw those barbecues at his house,

420. we would always end up hanging out

421. with his dad by the pool, drinking.

422. "So, Dad, I'm supposed to teach you about an iPad..."

423. So, Dad, I'm supposed to teach you about how to use an iPad...

424. "... but instead we're gonna teach you how to use an iPhone.

425. My iPhone."

426. I'm gonna teach you how to use my iPhone.

427. "So let me just hook it up to the screen here,

428. so everybody can see it."

429. All right, there it is.

430. Murr, just randomly scroll through the photos.

431. Oh, God.

432. Uh, I'll take you through some of the photos on my phone.

433. Let me see. Ah, there's you and I and Mom, right?

434. The other day. - Oh, I remember that.

435. Hey, there's me as a kid.

436. - Stop pulling up normal photos. - Yeah, Murr, get in there.

437. Stop right there.

438. Oh, my God. Look at this.

439. - "Dad..." - Dad...

440. "... did you ever imagine you would have a 40-year-old son

441. who slept with a blankie?"

442. did you ever imagine that you would have

443. a 40-year-old son who sleeps with a blankie?

444. Can we just go through this photo right now?

445. He's sitting alone at home.

446. He then coyly holds a tattered blankie to his lips,

447. peers through it at the camera.

448. A 40-year-old man. - Stop right there!

449. What's that? Stop right there.

450. - What is this? - What is this?

451. That's me playing video games last night in my bath towel.

452. He was playing naked virtual reality.

453. - He's looking at this son... - He's looking so slighted!

454. You know, friends.

455. I like that you have company

456. and you just zone them out with virtual reality.

457. Mm-hmm.

458. Stop right there. Stop right there.

459. Can I ask you what is going on?

460. The confusion your father is experiencing — and the regret!

461. Why does he have this stuff on his phone?

462. Let's move on to, like, getting in contact with people, right?

463. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, Murr...

464. Can you specifically call someone

465. that you might have met in a club for adults?

466. Ah, let's see. Yeah. Yeah.

467. He's like to meet you again!

468. Oh, my God.

469. Yeah! Yeah!

470. Got him!

471. - Oh, that was great. - Okay, we got to stop.

472. At this point, it's a punishment for Mr. Murray.

473. Look how miserable he is. We're done, Murr. That's it.

474. We're over. Well done, Murr.

475. Congratulations, buddy, you suffered enough.

476. You got through it.

477. Okay, welcome to "Impractical Insider."

478. Murr just got punished with some help from your father.

479. Yes. And you're about to see a behind-the-scenes look

480. AT how it happened in bonus footage from tonight's episode.

481. But I got to ask you, before we cut anywhere else,

482. how do you feel right now? - I got to call Jessica.

483. This is Murray's dad.

484. Murray's dad has always been cooler than Murray.

485. - Always. - Always.

486. What we're saying is Murray takes after his mother.

487. I love you, Mrs. Murray. You know I'm kidding.

488. All right, Murr, let's teach this class.

489. Look at him there.

490. The mad scientist reunites with his creator.

491. So family gets used a lot in the show.

492. Are there rules to that? Was this crossing the line?

493. No, it made sense. I get the joke.

494. I just didn't expect to ever

495. take my father through my cellphone.

496. The best thing about a smartphone, okay,

497. is that you basically have a camera

498. in your pocket at all times.

499. You know how you and Mom have photo albums in the closet?

500. You want to take a look at some of my photos?

501. Let me...

502. I'll take you through some of the photos on my phone.

503. Stop right there! What's that?

504. Stop right there.

505. That's me on a motorcycle.

506. Q: Why are you thrusting into the seat?

507. Thought it was funny.

508. Ballpark — how many times has Murray's dad rolled his eyes

509. and been like, "I should have had a third daughter"?

510. Well, he did have a third daughter, he just...

511. not a good one. - He named it James.

512. The blanket came back into play again.

513. Oh, my God. Look at this.

514. People want to know, like, what's up with this blankie,

515. 'cause we've seen it burned, we've seen it not burned.

516. - Burn it! - Burn it!

517. - You know we love you, right? - Wasn't your blankie!

518. Shay, who you know on our TV show,

519. broke in to my apartment and stole my blankie

520. and had a professional seamstress

521. create two identical blankies.

522. I show up on set that day and I thought it was legit.

523. I get home that day from filming.

524. Oh, my God. My blankie was still there on my bed.

525. And I sleep with it still, now.

526. What do you think James Murray's opinion —

527. the three worst punishments you've ever had.

528. Um... Danica McKellar.

529. Novocaine.

530. Ray's brief is... Ray's beef is brilliant.

531. My number one is a tie.

532. It's sky diving, lie detector,

533. things up my butt, nude modeling, and sharks.

534. Those — it's a tie. It's —

535. Your number one is a tie up between

536. five different punishments?

537. Also strip high-five.

538. - Six. - Six.

539. What was the story with the video with the... humping?

540. When the guys and I go on tour,

541. I have to iron my clothes before the show.

542. So sometimes I record these videos dancing

543. of only my crotch and send it out to people.

544. That's all for "Insider."

545. Please enjoy bonus footage from tonight's episode.

546. You guys do any online shopping?

547. "Let's say you're out and about shopping in town.

548. And let's say you're at Coffin Depot

549. and you see something you like."

550. Let's say you're at, uh...

551. You know, if you're shopping around town,

552. you're at Coffin Depot, you're like —

553. you see something you like.

554. Coffin Depot.

555. "Go home, go on to Coffin Depot online."

556. You go home to Coffin Depot online

557. and you pick up a casket right there.

558. What the hell is Coffin...

559. It's where you get coffins at a deep discount.