1. Coming up,
why is Murr feeling blue?Copy !req
2. You're lucky I don't punch
your lights out, freak.Copy !req
3. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
4. What's got Sal
shaking things up?Copy !req
5. And which punished JokerCopy !req
6. will have the wind
knocked out of his sailsCopy !req
7. in tonight's big punishment?Copy !req
8. Prepare for something amazing.Copy !req
9. Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?Copy !req
10. I want my mommy!Copy !req
11. I will never forgive you!Copy !req
12. Larry!Copy !req
13. Today, we're at Spencer's
at the Willowbrook MallCopy !req
14. playing one of
our favorite games,Copy !req
15. "Did I Deserve That?"Copy !req
16. While greeting customers,Copy !req
17. the guys are going to send in
an angry "person from our lives"Copy !req
18. to throw water in our faces.Copy !req
19. What did we do wrong?Copy !req
20. Once we're soaking wet,Copy !req
21. the guys are going to tell usCopy !req
22. and then
we have to defend it.Copy !req
23. If you can't get
the customer to agreeCopy !req
24. that you didn't deserve it,
you lose.Copy !req
25. You don't want to be
that close to that camera.
Really? Is it bad?Copy !req
26. It's super-high definition.
Yeah, we can see
every cube and pore.Copy !req
27. Oh, here we go, here we go.Copy !req
28. How are you doing?
Hi, how are you?Copy !req
29. We're giving $15 off
if you answer six questions.Copy !req
30. Okay, send him in!Copy !req
31. Have you ever shopped
at Spencer's before?Copy !req
32. Yes.Copy !req
33. How could
you do this to me?Copy !req
34. Look at her face!
Look at her face!Copy !req
35. "Sal, I monkeyed around
with his retirement plan."Copy !req
36. I'm — I-I monkeyed around
with his retirement plans.Copy !req
37. "I invested
into Circuit City."Copy !req
38. You know wh—
You know what it probably —Copy !req
39. the thing that really
I pissed them offCopy !req
40. is that I did take one chunkCopy !req
41. and I invested heavy
in, uh, Circuit City.Copy !req
42. I don't know why
they're still selling
Circuit City stock.Copy !req
43. You think I deserve that?
Hmm, I mean...Copy !req
44. - Ah!
- Ah!Copy !req
45. We got him, we got him!Copy !req
46. Enjoy your $15 coupon.Copy !req
47. Hi, guys. How are you?Copy !req
48. - Good. How are you?
- Here we go.Copy !req
49. We have a promotion —Copy !req
50. $15 coupon for
anything in the store.Copy !req
51. All you got to do
is answer six questionsCopy !req
52. that are super vague.
- Okay.Copy !req
53. - Send him in.
- Here we go, here we go!Copy !req
54. Have you purchased
anything from Spencer's?Copy !req
55. You're lucky I don't punch
your lights out, freak.Copy !req
56. - Ohh!
- That's a Slurpee!Copy !req
57. Yo, that guy is badass.Copy !req
58. Look at his mouth!Copy !req
59. It looks like you're
a blue Smurf.Copy !req
60. Just say,
"I whispered the illestCopy !req
61. in his wife's ear."Copy !req
62. I whispered the illest
in his wife's ear.Copy !req
63. He clearly
took offense to it.Copy !req
64. "I always be illing."Copy !req
65. I always be illing.Copy !req
66. And when I talk,
it's the illest.Copy !req
67. "In my defense,
I didn't know that
it was his wife."Copy !req
68. In my defense,
I didn't know it was his wife.Copy !req
69. "But the problem was,
she told me,Copy !req
70. and I continued talking
the illest."Copy !req
71. She told me
she's his wife,Copy !req
72. but then I continued talking
the illest of.Copy !req
73. You know, ill, like
"chill, dope,Copy !req
74. funky,
fresh kind of stuff."Copy !req
75. "Fragmatic."
You know,
it was fragmatic.Copy !req
76. "Like the stuff I'm dropping
on you right now."Copy !req
77. Like the stuff I'm dropping
on you right now, ladies.Copy !req
78. They are silent!Copy !req
79. Can I ask you guys
a question?Copy !req
80. Did I deserve that?Copy !req
81. No.
No?Copy !req
82. - Aw.
- No?Copy !req
83. Let me tell you,Copy !req
84. he didn't look like
a Slurpee guy.Copy !req
85. Joey, what the
happened, man,Copy !req
86. to the sculpture I gave you?Copy !req
87. It's in my basement in a box.Copy !req
88. Why? You got the yard.
It's a pissing angel.Copy !req
89. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
90. That's —
I don't know what part of thatCopy !req
91. you don't understand
why it's in my basement.Copy !req
92. We're doing a thing here
where we're doing, like,Copy !req
93. a two-minute survey.Copy !req
94. You get a $15 coup—
up at front.Copy !req
95. Nothing personal information.
Let's do it, right?Copy !req
96. Let's send her in.Copy !req
97. Is there anything
else bringing you in
here besides shirts?Copy !req
98. Joe, who's that?Copy !req
99. You are
a subversive creep!Copy !req
100. Bitches be crazy as hell.Copy !req
101. "She has a weird sculpture
in her bathroomCopy !req
102. that I thought
was some kind of fancy toilet."Copy !req
103. She got some sort
of fancy sculpture
in her bathroomCopy !req
104. that I thought
was a toilet.Copy !req
105. Of what?Copy !req
106. It's a little kid pissing.Copy !req
107. So you thought you would
take a deuce on that?Copy !req
108. She had this party,
and I went to the bathroom.Copy !req
109. There's a little kid peeing —
like peeing in the fountain.Copy !req
110. There's no toilet.Copy !req
111. There's no toilet
in the bathroom,Copy !req
112. so that — I was like,
that must be the toilet.Copy !req
113. It ended up
being a walk-in closet.Copy !req
114. "Listen, when I got to deuce,
I'm 'bout it, 'bout it."Copy !req
115. When I got to deuce,Copy !req
116. I'm 'bout it,
'bout it, all right?Copy !req
117. There's a bowl
and there's water running,Copy !req
118. I got to do it.Copy !req
119. To come in here
to my place of business,Copy !req
120. did I deserve that?Copy !req
121. Ah, no, yeah, you definitely
don't deserve that.Copy !req
122. - No.
- No, absolutely not.Copy !req
123. - Oh!
- No.Copy !req
124. I got to hit the bathroom.
I hope it's a real bathroom.Copy !req
125. I'm 'bout it, 'bout it.Copy !req
126. Here you go, Q.Copy !req
127. I don't know
if you're buying anything,Copy !req
128. but we're just doing
customer questionnaires.Copy !req
129. Like the first question isCopy !req
130. have you ever shopped
at Spencer's before?
Yes.Copy !req
131. Oh, there you go.
Here you go, Q.Copy !req
132. Here she comes!Copy !req
133. Are you shopping for yourself
or for someone else?Copy !req
134. How could you?Copy !req
135. Piece of.Copy !req
136. She's upset
because, uh...Copy !req
137. "Doesn't she seem like
the kind of personCopy !req
138. who would enjoy
an old-fashioned racist joke?"Copy !req
139. You would think...Copy !req
140. Are you shopping for yourself
or for someone else?Copy !req
141. How could you?Copy !req
142. Piece of.Copy !req
143. She's upset because, uh...Copy !req
144. "Doesn't she seem like
the kind of personCopy !req
145. who would enjoy
an old-fashioned racist joke?"Copy !req
146. You would think...Copy !req
147. Doesn't she seem like
the type of personCopy !req
148. that would enjoy
an old-fashioned racist joke?Copy !req
149. "She's not."
She's not.Copy !req
150. Spell it out.Copy !req
151. Yeah.
So, just to clarify,Copy !req
152. what happened is I madeCopy !req
153. a good old-fashioned
racist joke,Copy !req
154. I thought she would enjoy it.
She did not enjoy it.Copy !req
155. Obviously.Copy !req
156. Her response to it
is to come in hereCopy !req
157. and then call me
a piece of trashCopy !req
158. and to throw water
in my face.Copy !req
159. Do you think
I deserve that?Copy !req
160. No.
No, right?Copy !req
161. - Ohh.
- All right.Copy !req
162. Thank you so much.
You know?Copy !req
163. You want to hear a joke?Copy !req
164. Sal got what he deserved,Copy !req
165. making him first up
on the loser board.Copy !req
166. Today, we are at Focus Plus,Copy !req
167. sitting with
a bunch of strangersCopy !req
168. waiting to be called
into a focus group.Copy !req
169. But here's the catch —Copy !req
170. all four of us
will be in the roomCopy !req
171. at the same exact time.Copy !req
172. The goal is simple —
make the other guys laugh.Copy !req
173. If you laugh, you have
to leave the waiting room,Copy !req
174. and whoever gets through
without laughing wins.Copy !req
175. It's last man standing!Copy !req
176. While we're sitting
in a waiting room.Copy !req
177. 17-across, Hispanics...Copy !req
178. Mexicans.Copy !req
179. Q:
Yeah, it's a Waterpik.Copy !req
180. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
181. Oh, dude.Copy !req
182. How's my breath? Good?Copy !req
183. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
184. A Shake Weight?Copy !req
185. I ain't seen one of them
in a long time.Copy !req
186. They started selling them again.
They're back.Copy !req
187. They actually make a bigger one,
too, so it's...Copy !req
188. I just do it
when I'm in my waiting rooms.Copy !req
189. It's how I get the toned.Copy !req
190. That's all it takes —
three minutes a day.Copy !req
191. It's good to have
a regimen, though.
Yeah.Copy !req
192. Oh, my God.Copy !req
193. It's yogurt.Copy !req
194. It's an odd choice
to eat out of your fly.Copy !req
195. I'll save it for later.Copy !req
196. Oh.Copy !req
197. That time.Copy !req
198. I'm not staying here anymore.Copy !req
199. Okay.Copy !req
200. The hell did I lose again?Copy !req
201. Do one minute
every three days, yeah,Copy !req
202. and that's how I keep
this physique.Copy !req
203. Q:
Sal brought a human prop?Copy !req
204. That's your kid?Copy !req
205. Q:Copy !req
206. It's okay, buddy,
it's okay.Copy !req
207. It's okay.Copy !req
208. Q: Sal, you're gonna make
yourself laugh, you stupid ass!Copy !req
209. You made yourself laugh,
you moron!Copy !req
210. I kamikazed it.Copy !req
211. Oh, man,
that was unbelievable.Copy !req
212. I got myself...Copy !req
213. I couldn't take it.Copy !req
214. The kid started crying.Copy !req
215. And now he has to go
the rest of termCopy !req
216. with a child on his lap?Copy !req
217. His next thing,
he has to do with the kid.Copy !req
218. Q: Look at those nipples.Copy !req
219. Look at Joe's face —
Joe's face.Copy !req
220. Is that amusement?
Is it disgust?Copy !req
221. Is it bewilderment?
What is that?Copy !req
222. - Ohp.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
223. Please, God, no.Copy !req
224. Where the
are you going?Copy !req
225. I eat a half an apple
every four days.Copy !req
226. Q: Now Murray's going,
Murray's going.Copy !req
227. What is going on?
Oh, my God.Copy !req
228. Oh, my...
Nice bag.Copy !req
229. Q: What's this?Copy !req
230. - Ohh.
- What's up, buddy?Copy !req
231. - It's okay.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
232. It's... what is going on?Copy !req
233. Q: Oh, my God.Copy !req
234. Oh, my —
His bag.Copy !req
235. He's just —Copy !req
236. You both didn't knowCopy !req
237. that you were
bringing children?
No.Copy !req
238. Come here, let's say hi.Copy !req
239. There you go.Copy !req
240. There was a child leftCopy !req
241. outside of the room
in a sackCopy !req
242. He pulled it
into the room.Copy !req
243. Nobody's saying anything.Copy !req
244. Out of everything
we've done,Copy !req
245. this is the time
that no one says anything.Copy !req
246. Look at that snapshot.Copy !req
247. Your nipple's on him.Copy !req
248. Joey, oh.Copy !req
249. Wow.Copy !req
250. Good luck to you.Copy !req
251. You're cute, buddy.
I'll see you later.Copy !req
252. This was no
laughing matter for Murr,Copy !req
253. so he's safe
from the loser board.Copy !req
254. Today, Q and Murr
are taking turnsCopy !req
255. recording strangers'
conversations in the park.Copy !req
256. When a person asks them
why they're recording them,Copy !req
257. they'll need to give them
an explanationCopy !req
258. that's been given to them
by the other guys.Copy !req
259. If they don't allow
Murr or ICopy !req
260. to continue recording
their conversation, we lose.Copy !req
261. Guys, are we being
recorded right now?Copy !req
262. Was that over the top?Copy !req
263. Q, I made you
a little listening device.Copy !req
264. It's a homemade
boom pole.
Yeah.Copy !req
265. I call that
the Conspicuous 5000.Copy !req
266. All right, so now I'm just
gonna go listen to people talk.Copy !req
267. Yeah,
you just got to sneak in.Copy !req
268. When they ask you,
we'll give you the reason.Copy !req
269. Like — she literally —
to her, that was like —Copy !req
270. Just keep talking naturally.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
271. "I'm just doing a podcast
on urban dating."Copy !req
272. I'm doing a podcast on urban —
urban dating.Copy !req
273. We're not really on a date,
like, in that way.Copy !req
274. "I'll use it
for my other podcast."Copy !req
275. I'll use this
for my other podcast.Copy !req
276. "White Chicks
Talking."Copy !req
277. "White Chicks
Talking."Copy !req
278. So, would you mind if I just
keep recording you?Copy !req
279. You can keep recording,
I guess.
Oh! Cool.Copy !req
280. Thanks, guys.Copy !req
281. My audience is really
gonna love this.Copy !req
282. Here we go.Copy !req
283. This is so stupid.Copy !req
284. Here we go.
Here we go.Copy !req
285. Oh, you guys
went to Natural History.Copy !req
286. Very nice, very nice.Copy !req
287. Hey. Yeah, no, I'm just
recording your audio.Copy !req
288. Q: "I just need to record
some really dull nonsenseCopy !req
289. for the background of a movie
I'm working on."Copy !req
290. Because I rea—
I need to recordCopy !req
291. some really dull nonsense
for a movie I'm editing.Copy !req
292. So I just need, like, just
really dull nonsense.Copy !req
293. All right.
So you guys just —
just be yourself.Copy !req
294. Is it good
if I keep recording you?Copy !req
295. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, great.Copy !req
296. I hit the dull nonsense
jackpot.Copy !req
297. Let the record showCopy !req
298. that Sal
is tonight's big loser.Copy !req
299. Ahoy, mateys!Copy !req
300. We're here
for Sal's big punishment.Copy !req
301. Today, you're gonna be
the captain of a pirate shipCopy !req
302. for a children's party
here at Jersey Shore
Pirate Adventures.Copy !req
303. A children's party.Copy !req
304. Yeah, a children's party.
Okay.Copy !req
305. Oh, if you're not sure
what to say, bud, don't worry —Copy !req
306. I'll be right there
in the boat with you.Copy !req
307. You got your first mate
right here.Copy !req
308. Is it a dull punishment?Copy !req
309. - No.
- He's gonna have fun.Copy !req
310. You're gonna be invited.Copy !req
311. Here we are.
Ahoy, kiddies!Copy !req
312. Q:
Look at the body language.Copy !req
313. Murray's so happy to do this,
Sal's just moping up.Copy !req
314. Ahoy, kiddies!Copy !req
315. I'm here to introduce youCopy !req
316. to the captain
of this here ship,Copy !req
317. Flatfoot the Pirate!Copy !req
318. He's got the flatest feet
on the seven seas, arrr!Copy !req
319. It's a medical condition.Copy !req
320. We have the treasure here
from our last expedition.Copy !req
321. If you want to see,
let me hear you say, "Arrr!"Copy !req
322. Arrr!Copy !req
323. We've got a lollipop.Copy !req
324. Now, what's the best part
of a lollipop?Copy !req
325. - Eat it!
- Licking it!Copy !req
326. So, here's what
we're going to do.
Nope. Nope.Copy !req
327. Flatfoot the Pirate
sees where this is going.Copy !req
328. I want all of you
to take a lickCopy !req
329. from a different spot.Copy !req
330. - Me! Me!
- Okay.Copy !req
331. Take one lick,
one side.Copy !req
332. You lick another part.Copy !req
333. There you go!
There's plenty of
spots still open!Copy !req
334. Lick that part
right there.Copy !req
335. - I want another one!
- Hey, hey.Copy !req
336. Oh, God, that's...
Yeah!Copy !req
337. Now, who gets the last lick
of the lollipop?Copy !req
338. The captain!
The captain,
that's right!Copy !req
339. No, it's actually the,
uh, youngest child.Copy !req
340. Oh...
No.Copy !req
341. Go ahead, Flatfoot!
Oh, God.Copy !req
342. You earned it!Copy !req
343. Do it, do it!Copy !req
344. Lick it!Copy !req
345. Ohh!Copy !req
346. Good work, buddy.Copy !req
347. Yeah!Copy !req
348. Yes, very good.Copy !req
349. Oh, I know it is,
it's all over you —Copy !req
350. but that was the idea.Copy !req
351. Now, kiddies,
what's the best partCopy !req
352. of being a pirate?Copy !req
353. Go on the seven seas!Copy !req
354. Yes,
we sail the seven seas.Copy !req
355. And when
we sail the seven seas,Copy !req
356. we drink and we sing
all day long.Copy !req
357. Let's hand out some rum
for the whole crew!Copy !req
358. Oh, rummy-rum-rum.
My favorite.Copy !req
359. These kids
all have their drinks,Copy !req
360. but don't worry,
the captain has a special drink.Copy !req
361. Now don't drink yetCopy !req
362. because our captain's
got to sing us a song.Copy !req
363. Here we go!Copy !req
364. Q: Oh, my God.
Good. There you go.Copy !req
365. Oh...
You had it, Flatfoot!Copy !req
366. Oh...Copy !req
367. Cheers.Copy !req
368. Oh, ho, ho, ho, boy.Copy !req
369. Raise them up, pirates!Copy !req
370. There you go, Flatfoot!Copy !req
371. Cheers.Copy !req
372. Oh, ho, ho, ho, boy.Copy !req
373. Raise them up, pirates!Copy !req
374. There you go, Flatfoot!Copy !req
375. Arrr... on three!Copy !req
376. One, two, three!Copy !req
377. Arrr!Copy !req
378. Drink.Copy !req
379. Oh, my God.Copy !req
380. What is it?Copy !req
381. Forgive us a moment
while Flatfoot throws up.Copy !req
382. I think his rum
wasn't pasteurized.Copy !req
383. Sal, don't worry, buddy.
You're not in this alone.Copy !req
384. Murr — cheers, matey.Copy !req
385. What does that mean,
"Cheers"?Copy !req
386. - Waaaah!
- Waaaah!Copy !req
387. You're fu—Copy !req
388. We just
checked the scoreboard.Copy !req
389. Murray lost, too.Copy !req
390. I did not.Copy !req
391. Drink up, my mate!Copy !req
392. I saved some for you!Copy !req
393. Ah, come on.Copy !req
394. Murray didn't really lose.
He didn't lose.Copy !req
395. We're just messing with him!
We're just messing with him!Copy !req
396. This is amazing
if he drinks it!Copy !req
397. Look at him go.Copy !req
398. All right!Copy !req
399. - Chug!
- Chug!Copy !req
400. Oh, ho, ho, my God.Copy !req
401. Oh,
that was delicious!Copy !req
402. Hey, Murr?
Yeah.Copy !req
403. We were just kidding,
buddy.Copy !req
404. I got to be honest,Copy !req
405. after all my years
on the ship,Copy !req
406. that was a low blow.Copy !req
407. Q: We now return youCopy !req
408. to your regularly scheduled
punishment of Sal.Copy !req
409. All right, now,Copy !req
410. you know what
every good crew needs to doCopy !req
411. to a captain on a ship.Copy !req
412. They need to mount a mutiny.Copy !req
413. Who wants
to overthrow the captainCopy !req
414. and take over the ship?Copy !req
415. I don't like
the sound of it.Copy !req
416. Now what we need
are swords.Copy !req
417. Everyone take a sword.
Now you need to respect —Copy !req
418. There's plenty
to go around!Copy !req
419. Let's drive this captain
off this boat.Copy !req
420. Get him!Copy !req
421. - Look out...!
- Walk the plank!Copy !req
422. Ow, that hurts.Copy !req
423. You're hitting me
in the.Copy !req
424. Q:
The clean waters of Jersey!Copy !req
425. Now, tell us —
is there anythingCopy !req
426. you want to say to the crew
before you depart?Copy !req
427. First of all...
Yes.Copy !req
428. Oh!Copy !req
429. No last words!Copy !req
430. We did it, crew!
We did it!Copy !req
431. Shut up!Copy !req
432. Oh, that water
is not clean, buddy.Copy !req
433. This is disgusting!Copy !req
434. What about parasites?Copy !req
435. Welcome to
"Impractical Insider."Copy !req
436. Sal just walked the plank,Copy !req
437. but there's a shipload
of bonus footageCopy !req
438. that you get to see
right now.Copy !req
439. Drink up.Copy !req
440. Well, we have
a treasure chest,Copy !req
441. and this is gonna be
the treasure.
Okay.Copy !req
442. So we can be like,Copy !req
443. "Now our reward
is this a lolly."Copy !req
444. "We brought this arrr-tificially
flavored candy."Copy !req
445. I think this
came out of a conversationCopy !req
446. where Sal had mentionedCopy !req
447. that he would never
drink breast milk.
Yes.Copy !req
448. Like — and that's a thing
with "Impractical Jokers" —Copy !req
449. if you say something
you would never do,Copy !req
450. it's gonna be
a punishment.
Yeah, I mean, that's —Copy !req
451. these guys made a mistake
a long time agoCopy !req
452. by just being
way too honest.Copy !req
453. I always forget about
the stupid hair!Copy !req
454. I did,
I totally forgot about it.Copy !req
455. Oh, my God, he's gonna be
a pirate with that!Copy !req
456. Turn on the tsunami!Copy !req
457. Murray's hat won't stay on
because of your hair.Copy !req
458. My hairrrr.Copy !req
459. Expect a lot of that
on the boat.Copy !req
460. A lot of pirate puns
coming your way.Copy !req
461. Oh, God, come on.Copy !req
462. Pirate pun-ishment.Copy !req
463. Oh, God. Oh..Copy !req
464. Oh, shoot.Copy !req
465. Captain, tell us a story
of the storm!
Okay.Copy !req
466. Once upon a time,Copy !req
467. there was a pirate ship
named the Jolly Roger.Copy !req
468. One time,
I was taking the Jolly RogerCopy !req
469. over to the mall...Copy !req
470. a couple of
snot-nosed punksCopy !req
471. in a newer, faster
Jolly RogerCopy !req
472. who think they own the seaCopy !req
473. cut me off.Copy !req
474. This is the story of
when the kid clipped his car.Copy !req
475. The Jolly Roger —
was a '99 brand-new —Copy !req
476. I had made
but one paymentCopy !req
477. before the fender
of the Jolly RogerCopy !req
478. was good and scratched up.Copy !req
479. It's been 15 years.Copy !req
480. He still can't
let this thing go.Copy !req
481. We did it!Copy !req
482. I want to get out.Copy !req
483. I spit up so much phlegm
into that bucketCopy !req
484. after I drank
that tit milk.Copy !req
485. But do you
like tit milk now?Copy !req
486. What do you think?
No, it tastes like
soy vanilla.Copy !req
487. So, this was not
your punishment.Copy !req
488. No. They tricked me.Copy !req
489. - Waaaah.
- Waaaah.Copy !req
490. In my head, I'm, like —Copy !req
491. I'm trying to do the math
from the episode.Copy !req
492. I'm, like,
did I actually lose?Copy !req
493. I felt bad for you,Copy !req
494. and I was, like,
you have to do somethingCopy !req
495. to get them back.
Yeah.Copy !req
496. Were you actually,
like, annoyedCopy !req
497. by the little
plastic swords?Copy !req
498. Oh, first of all...Copy !req
499. they were taking
swipes at my calves.Copy !req
500. Ow — ow, that hurts!Copy !req
501. Those were
sharp, heavy plastic.Copy !req
502. Those kids
were taking full swipesCopy !req
503. all about my ankles.Copy !req
504. Oh, man, you're going to have
black-and-blues forever.Copy !req
505. Ahh!Copy !req
506. I was literally stalling
so that that could happen.
I'm done.Copy !req
507. So here we go.Copy !req
508. Are you shopping
for anything specificCopy !req
509. or are you just browsing?Copy !req
510. Hey.Copy !req
511. He— oh, no.Copy !req
512. Been waiting four years
to do that.Copy !req
513. That's Simmy Kustanowitz,
our network executive.Copy !req
514. "I disagreed with his notes."Copy !req
515. I disagreed
with his notes.Copy !req
516. He didn't like a joke
I made.Copy !req
517. I liked the joke.Copy !req
518. The notes he gave were,
I thought, outrageous,Copy !req
519. but, uh... you know,Copy !req
520. the guy dressed like a sausage
in a commercial onceCopy !req
521. and I'm the jerk standing here
with water all over him.Copy !req
522. He literally played
a sausage in a commercial.Copy !req
523. Now he's giving me
notes on comedy.Copy !req
524. I don't deserve that,
right?Copy !req
525. No.
No.Copy !req
526. - No?
- All right.Copy !req
527. But Simmy still
got to throw the water,Copy !req
528. so it feels like a loss.Copy !req
529. Simmy still got it,
yeah.Copy !req