Impractical Jokers 6x16

1. Coming up, why is Joe having a ball?

2. What's got Murr keeping the faith?

3. I'd like a third shot at priesthood.

4. And which losing Jokers will go, "Goo-goo, ga-ga,"

5. in tonight's triple punishment?

6. Oh!

7. Prepare for something amazing.

8. Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?

9. I want my mommy!

10. I will never forgive you!

11. Larry!

12. Smile, bitches.

13. Today we are fashion photographers

14. working with models on their photo shoots.

15. While taking pictures, you're gonna have to do

16. and say what the other guys tell you.

17. If you refuse anything, you lose.

18. I did a little modeling in my day.

19. Before photos?

20. All right. Adelante Studios. Here we go.

21. We're ready, Sal. Where you at?

22. Let's take some photos.

23. - Wow.

24. Is that what you think a photographer looks like?

25. Hey. How are you? My name is Salvatore.

26. - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

27. Music choice — Do you want me to play Psy, "Gangnam Style"?

28. Uh, well, I mean, are you good with no music,

29. or should I play, like, Psy's "Gangnam Style"?

30. - Okay. - "I don't have any music."

31. Oh, I don't have any music.

32. - Oh. - Yeah.

33. Here's what I want you to do.

34. "Subtly, give me the middle finger."

35. Just casually and subtly give the middle finger.

36. Okay.

37. Okay. Key word being "subtle."

38. Okay, I want to do it a little more subtle,

39. almost like you're sneaking it.

40. That's it. Straight up. I can go myself.

41. That's it.

42. - Ohh!

43. Okay. Sal, on that cart over there is a Nerf gun.

44. I want you to just fire shots at her

45. and take pictures of her dodging the Nerf gun.

46. Q: She noticed it.

47. Okay.

48. Okay, watch out.

49. Q: That looks like it'll hurt if it hits her!

50. Slowly raise it up right at her.

51. - Okay. - Here it goes.

52. Okay.

53. Okay.

54. Sal's laughing! He's looking...

55. All right. That's good.

56. Q: Take two shots, look at the camera.

57. Oh, wow. That's really good. Okay.

58. "Oh, yeah. This dog's in heat."

59. - And there it is! - Don't you dare!

60. Who's next? My turn?

61. Let me take a third...

62. I saw Sal, and I outdid him.

63. Thanks for the inspiration, Sal.

64. That's great.

65. I need some, like, crazy shots for my website.

66. You need some crazy shots? Okay, yeah.

67. Yeah. If you want to jump, we'll count it on three.

68. One, two, three. Great.

69. "Also just don't tell me how to do my job."

70. That's great. So we'll do something like this.

71. - Oh, my God. - That's really good, right?

72. So you don't have to tell me how to do my job.

73. I'm able to...

74. Okay? Yeah.

75. Okay, ready? Now I want you to just move around

76. a little bit in the space. Move around?

77. There you go. I'm — I'm the photographer. That's right.

78. I am a photographer, and I know what I'm doing.

79. Should we get some seated on the floor maybe?

80. Let's do — Yeah, if you want to get on the floor.

81. Yeah.

82. Again, I'm the photographer, though.

83. Lay on the ground with her, too.

84. I'm gonna get down to your level again.

85. Send in Chase, and have Chase give him

86. a kiss on the cheek and walk right out.

87. Don't say anything.

88. Q: He's one of our producers.

89. I'm gonna try one of these, too.

90. Here we go.

91. There you go.

92. Thank you, babe.

93. Okay, so, now I'm gonna have you do some seated,

94. if you don't mind. Mm-hmm.

95. Since she's sitting, you should be sitting, too.

96. Go back and get the ball in the corner.

97. All right, Joe, sit on the ball and never stop bouncing.

98. Okay. You sons of b—

99. - There you go. - Bounce higher, bud.

100. Okay. Change the expression.

101. - Look at him! - You look like a idiot!

102. Yeah! There it is!

103. the fedora. these fake glasses.

104. this scarf. There you go.

105. I'm gonna do some singles first, okay?

106. Different poses, stuff like that, okay?

107. I want you to stomp your foot every now and again to get his attention.

108. "Actually, I have an even newer camera."

109. I have another camera, too, an even newer one.

110. We put another camera on the side for you.

111. Grab that camera.

112. One sec.

113. I just picked this one up at Best Buy.

114. Now go under the blanket.

115. Now just start kind of like shimmying and shaking.

116. Just be like —

117. - Tonight... - Tonight...

118. you will be visited by three ghosts.

119. you will be visited by three ghosts.

120. Take the picture!

121. All right.

122. Did the flash go off?

123. Okay, that's it for right now. Thank you for the help.

124. Before you go, apologize to him that you didn't get an erection.

125. It's not the norm.

126. Here it is.

127. Ergh! God almighty.

128. I do want to apologize f-for not

129. getting an erection during the shoot, so...

130. - Oh, my... - Very nice, buddy.

131. Just spread that light.

132. - Oh, that's beautiful. - Joe's right there.

133. - Q, call in Joe. - Joe, Joe?

134. "Just for a little inspiration, can you just sit on —

135. on the floor right here, beside me?"

136. Could you just sit on the floor right here beside me?

137. - Yeah. - Thank you.

138. Joe's our photographer friend. He's our inside man.

139. All right. We're just gonna get right into it.

140. - Okay. - Take a photo of Joe instead.

141. There you go. Look at that. Isn't that great?

142. He — He's my apprentice.

143. Why is his apprentice sitting next to him?

144. - He looks like Buddha. - All right.

145. "I legally have to tell you I am a straight white male."

146. I have to tell you, legally, I am a straight white male.

147. Give me strong. Like "Yeah, I am woman."

148. - There we go. - Whoa.

149. - Guns out. - Holy geez!

150. "Killer clavicles, boss."

151. Oh, wow. Look at that. Killer clavicles, boss.

152. All right. You can thank Joe and have him leave.

153. Joe, thank you. I think we got what we need out of you.

154. "But, Joe, I'll take the French onion soup."

155. - But, Joe! - Yes?

156. I will take the French onion soup.

157. Photographer Joe: Definitely.

158. Just one, Joe.

159. - Now Joe's improvising. - He's improvising?

160. Yeah, I'll take a bis— I'll take a biscuit!

161. Always take the biscuit.

162. Let her talk and just keep going, "Always take the biscuit."

163. So, when did you move to New York City?

164. I went to NYU.

165. Always take that biscuit.

166. Always take the biscuit!

167. He can't do it! He can't —

168. - Turn quick and fire at her. - Turn quick and fire.

169. - Oh, you were ready for me. - She got it.

170. You were ready for me. All right.

171. "It's probably one more photo shoot for me,

172. and night-night forever," and take a shot.

173. That's good. But it's — Like, for me, it's different.

174. It's, like, one more photo shoot for me,

175. and then it's night-night forever.

176. Oh

177. Okay. All right.

178. "In high school, I was on the yearbook committee."

179. In high school, I was on the yearbook committee.

180. Oh, okay!

181. "It was a regular fest."

182. Yeah, it was a, uh...

183. Just, it was high school. It was, you know...

184. Q and Sal lost their focus,

185. so they're striking a pose on the loser board.

186. Today we are at Focus Pointe Global

187. in their waiting room filling out a questionnaire.

188. Except we're not gonna be able to do it,

189. because our hand's gonna be all jacked up.

190. So, we'll ask a stranger in the room to help us fill it out,

191. but the answers have been prepared by the other guys.

192. If you can't say the answer that's been given to you

193. by the other guys, you lose.

194. You lose.

195. - There's our boy. - Look at the arm sling.

196. - Oh, Murr's arm's jacked up. - Oh.

197. This guy noticed his problem.

198. Shoot. I don't know what to do here.

199. - Dude, you don't mind? - Here we go!

200. - We're in. - We're in, we're in.

201. What are your biggest pet peeves?

202. "Diversity."

203. Uh...

204. diversity.

205. What's my dream job?

206. "You know what? I'd like a third shot at priesthood."

207. You know what? I'd like a third shot at priesthood.

208. Okay. Okay.

209. Okay. "List your hobbies or activities."

210. Q: "I'm currently working on a cookbook...

211. I'm currently working on a cookbook...

212. based around the four major...

213. based around the four major...

214. body fluids."

215. body fluids.

216. You know, you know you've got blood, urine, saliva.

217. - And there's a fourth one. - Right.

218. Which we all — It's okay. Let's get that.

219. Okay. And then — Oh, great, great.

220. "If you can relive one memory, what would it be?"

221. Good question.

222. "The time I successfully...

223. It's the time I successfully...

224. riffed off of a co-worker's N-word joke at an office party."

225. riffed on... All right.

226. - Ah, the last question. - You almost had it, buddy!

227. It all falls apart.

228. Just — Just put my 21st birthday.

229. - Wow! - Nice work, buddy.

230. Damn it!

231. Hey. There we go.

232. Oh, what to do?

233. Are you s— Really? Are you sure?

234. I didn't want to —

235. - Aww! - What a nice guy!

236. - "Puerto Rican Santa." - Puerto Rican Santa.

237. "August 4th, 1998.

238. Yeah. August, 4th, 1998.

239. A boy in a Sears department store

240. made fun of the way I walked. I want him eliminated."

241. A boy in a Sears department store

242. made fun of the way I walked.

243. I'd like him eliminated.

244. Uh, yeah.

245. "I use dimethylmercury instead of inorganic mercury salts

246. when calibrating my nuclear magnetic resonance device,

247. like I'm some kind of ass."

248. I probably use — I use dimethylmercury

249. instead of inorganic mercury salts...

250. "When calibrating my nuclear magnetic resonance."

251. when calibrating my nuc— my nuclear...

252. - "Magnetic." - ... magnetic...

253. "Resonance device."

254. resonance device like I'm some kind of ass

255. Oh! "Biggest one I ever saw was on my aunt's Great Dane."

256. The biggest pet peeve!

257. The biggest one I ever saw was on my aunt's Great Dane.

258. Yeah, my aunt's Great Dane. He had a huge pet peeve.

259. - Well done, Sal! - Champion, buddy.

260. - Well done. Got through it. - Wow.

261. Oh, no, Q.

262. Oh, y— Oh, thank you so much.

263. - Thank you. - No problem.

264. All right.

265. "My mom dropped me off."

266. My — Actually, my mom dropped me off.

267. "On a motorcycle."

268. Well — Well, my mom's motorcycle.

269. Okay.

270. "Yesterday."

271. Yesterday.

272. So you've been here for a day.

273. I've never heard an answer fit Q more than that answer.

274. He just looks like he got here yesterday.

275. "Just put 'a variety of eggs.'"

276. I mean, just put "A variety of eggs."

277. I don't think they need to know hen egg,

278. quail egg, gull eggs.

279. Oh, yeah.

280. Well, they're free if you know where to find them.

281. Yeah.

282. "I've been following this Indian family

283. around Manhattan for the past 38 days."

284. Currently...

285. I've been following this, uh, sweet Indian family

286. around Manhattan the last 38 days.

287. They just look so happy

288. that I-I feel like I'm part of the family if I just...

289. Yeah. What's next?

290. - That's all. - That's it? I'm done?

291. To think that I've been trying to fill it out for 24 hours.

292. - Oh, Joe's in. - Wait. Here we go.

293. Hi. Yeah, I'm all jacked up.

294. Would you mind helping me out with this?

295. That's it! He just gets right into it.

296. Um, okay...

297. "Oh, my wife always leaves the toilet seat up."

298. My — Yeah.

299. My wife always leaves the toilet seat up.

300. It's a big pet peeve of mine every time I go in.

301. My greatest strengths...

302. "Uh, I'm a straight-up DILF."

303. Uh, okay. I'm a straight-up DILF.

304. - DILF? - Yeah.

305. DILF. You know. "Dad I'd Like to..."

306. That's what the kids say, you know?

307. Yeah. Straight-up DILF. D-I-L-F.

308. "A soul mate."

309. I would probably say a soul mate.

310. "Someone who makes me smile every morning and night."

311. Someone who makes me smile morning and night.

312. "Epic gazungas."

313. And then definitely...

314. I would go with, uh...

315. epic gazungas.

316. Do I have any bad habits?

317. How much space is there?

318. "I do a little peeps when I toot-toot."

319. Yeah. Uh, hmm, well...

320. Yeah, I guess I'll do a simple one.

321. I do a little peeps when I toot-toot.

322. I do a little peeps when I toot-toot.

323. Yeah. "Do a little peeps when I toot-toot."

324. What is the hand motion? I'm sorry?

325. I do a little — yeah. I do a little peeps peeps when I do a toot-toot.

326. That's great, man. Thank you so much.

327. - No problem, bro. - Peep peeps.

328. Adding insult to injury,

329. Murr is joining Sal and Q in a triple punishment.

330. - Out with it. Let's go. - What's going on?

331. Well, I have three losers, right?

332. Do you guys remember when you punished me

333. - as a parenting know-it-all? - Yeah.

334. I'm gonna punish you three as a parenting know-it-nothing.

335. We're here on set at a home-shopping network,

336. where you guys are filming your new series,

337. "3 Men and Your Baby."

338. Explain.

339. There are new parents downstairs with their babies,

340. and you guys will be demonstrating tips

341. and tricks to them about how to be better parents.

342. - I'm not handling a kid. - Oh, yeah, you are.

343. I'm not cleaning a diaper, that's for sure.

344. So if a kid takes a deuce,

345. the kid's got to stay with the deuce.

346. I wonder if that's one of the things you should know

347. how to do if you're a parent.

348. Yeah. No, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.

349. I'm not doing it.

350. - Oh, I hear a lot of babies. - I don't like kids.

351. I know, and that's why it's a punishment.

352. Hi, everybody.

353. I've scripted out the whole thing.

354. There's a teleprompter they got to read. It's gonna be great.

355. Q: All right. Thanks for joining us.

356. We're "3 Men and Your Baby."

357. Let's start with something simple

358. that needs to be done all the time —

359. changing a baby's diaper.

360. Q, your line!

361. Q: And I'm about to show you it's not that hard.

362. Who wants to lend a baby? Yeah!

363. Aww! Hey, sweetheart.

364. Okay.

365. What's its name?

366. - Leora. - Leora.

367. "Its."What's its name"?

368. Q: All right. Oh, you got a diaper on.

369. Oh, she's got a diaper on already.

370. They don't know she has a diaper on already?

371. - Reverse-engineer it. - I'm on it.

372. Yeah. Yeah?

373. All right. Just get rid of that.

374. There you go. There you go.

375. Then what we do is — Yeah, nice and dry.

376. Sal's got nowhere to put the diaper! Here we go.

377. You would dispose of this normally.

378. The disgust in Sal's face

379. right now is a mixture of many emotions.

380. You're gonna just want to make sure that's snug.

381. Yeah, that is as snug as it's gonna get.

382. Okay, we should mention that it's on backwards.

383. Oh, my goodness.

384. You know, let's go with — That's good enough.

385. Boom! That was easy!

386. 'Cause that's literally the first diaper Q's ever changed.

387. Okay, so, let's go back to the prompter.

388. Most babies won't be able to blow their own nose

389. until the age of 2.

390. So it's your job to keep your baby's nose clean.

391. I'm gonna need to borrow a baby.

392. Aww!

393. If your baby is really stuffed up,

394. I recommend this Swedish-made nasal aspirator.

395. And you put that in — in the nose.

396. Babies can't blow their nose, Murr.

397. - This is how it happens. - How do they live?

398. First, place one end of the tube

399. against the baby's nostril.

400. Now I'll insert the other end of the tube into my mouth

401. - No. - ... and suck out the snot.

402. 'Cause this — this is what you do.

403. Yep. You see what happened there? Okay, got it.

404. Yep. Okay.

405. All right. Come on, sweetheart.

406. Okay, so, let's go back to the prompter.

407. Brian and I are gonna show you moms how to wear

408. the top two baby carriers on the market today.

409. It's gonna work like a backpack,

410. but the baby goes in the front.

411. Just kind of, like, slip it on like that.

412. You do, like, a little connecting thing here.

413. Now, James, bring on those babies.

414. Okay. This is baby Logan. Oh, okay. Ready?

415. Now let's put you in here, Logan.

416. Q: The baby should probably face me.

417. - Okay. Okay. - Aww! We'll give you back.

418. It's all right.

419. There you go. There's baby Logan.

420. Q: When it comes to strollers, there are two main types —

421. high-end and umbrella.

422. But don't worry. They both collapse easily.

423. Okay. So, I have to...

424. figure out...

425. You just put the brake on.

426. Q: We fold so many of these,

427. it's hard to keep straight which model we're dealing with.

428. We fold them all day.

429. Oh, you mother

430. - Nope. No. - Son of a...

431. Okay. Let's hold right there.

432. - Yeah, he's — he — - That's the new model.

433. Q: He's familiar with all the —

434. He's — We should say the director here, Joe,

435. is also a dad, so he's a little more familiar

436. with the products than we are.

437. There it is. All right.

438. - Oh, it's the new model. - It's the new model.

439. It's the new model. Thanks.

440. We're "3 Men and Your Baby," and remember...

441. Boom! That was easy!

442. Tune in next time

443. when we'll teach your babies how to swim.

444. - Well done, boys. - All right. Thanks.

445. Yeah!

446. Well, that was easy.

447. Sal, Q, and Murr just got spanked in tonight's punishment,

448. and now we're gonna give you a behind-the-scenes look

449. of how it went down, plus bonus features from tonight's episode.

450. Is that cool, Owen? Ready?

451. Owen, Q's gonna want his hat back.

452. Joe Gatto right there. He's the man in charge.

453. We got three losers,

454. and Joe is, solo, planning this punishment.

455. I would not want to have the first time

456. I had to collapse a stroller be in front of an audience

457. - because it's impossible. - Yeah.

458. And, I mean, the little — Putting a onesie together.

459. The — Like, the carriers are impossible.

460. I still cannot do that by myself without my wife.

461. When they punished me about being a parent, I was like,

462. "Okay, now I have to punish them for not being parents."

463. - Oh, that is brilliant. - Yeah.

464. In the same season, just so you could fire back like that.

465. Yeah, yeah. Because it was fresh on my mind.

466. - Yeah. - That was a rough one.

467. - What's your secret? - For?

468. Texting and watching a child at the same time.

469. - I have no idea. - No idea. Yeah.

470. - No!

471. This whole punishment is a little bit of, like, a shout-out to parents.

472. Yes, it is. We know it ain't easy.

473. We know it ain't easy. The struggle's real.

474. And we might as well have some fun with it.

475. Slightly less worried than normal,

476. - 'cause I'm absorbing it. - Right.

477. I'm absorbing the punishment alongside Murray and Q.

478. Well, do — do you remember the last time

479. that Joe picked the three of your punishments? Yeah, I do.

480. You put Will Smith's son!

481. Why would you do that to me?

482. I'm your best friend, you dope!

483. Three, two, one.

484. - "3 Men and Your Baby"! - Whose baby?

485. - Who's "Your"? - The people there.

486. I know there's a subset of people out there

487. that I'm gonna come off as unlikable to,

488. but I hate kids.

489. I don't want to be anywhere near them.

490. I know. That's why it's a punishment.

491. Yeah, but you understand the issue here, though.

492. Like, I'm not gonna hold them softly.

493. I'll do most stuff outside of diapers.

494. - Oh, I can't say no, right? - Yeah.

495. Yeah, but you can't make a kid

496. Oh, can't I?

497. Is there a kid down there who at like 5:00 a.m.

498. and you've just been holding them?

499. We're gonna show you the perfect way

500. to install a car seat to ensure your child

501. is safe and sound on the road.

502. Do you guys know how to do that?

503. Yeah, so, the car seat is over here.

504. This is a popular model.

505. I have a little experience with this.

506. - You do? - Yes.

507. Of course you do. We have a company.

508. - Yeah.

509. So, this — Oh, I see. That does that.

510. No, this is gonna go through the crotch area.

511. - Up. Down. Go down. - Yeah, this is for that.

512. This is the most confused I've seen the three of you in my whole life.

513. Yeah. This goes there. Then this is if the baby

514. wants to play with a... rope.

515. Did we do that right?

516. So much fumbling through the things

517. as it was handling the kids.

518. Hoo! As soon as you pick up the kid,

519. you start, like, sweating bullets.

520. - There, Owen. Right there. - Yes. Yeah. There you go.

521. And you're gonna want to put their arms through there.

522. Look at this poor kid!

523. He's probably better off doing it by himself.

524. Boom! That was easy!

525. Q, pick up the cat toy on the cart.

526. Here we have — Uh, here.

527. Q, she thinks she's gonna use it.

528. Use it on yourself while you're taking photos.

529. All right, okay. All right.

530. Keep snapping.

531. - Say, "Sit down." - All right. Sit down!

532. - Man, she's so good! - She doesn't miss a beat!

533. She was like ba-boom, and it's like a good pose.

534. Say, "Some of those probably came out. I blacked out for a minute."

535. Some of those probably came out. I blacked out for a minute.