1. Coming up...
what's got Joe going balls out?
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2. Why is Sal
down in the dumps?
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3. I love to dance,
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4. but I had diarrhea, so...
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5. And which losing Joker
will sink or swim
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6. in tonight's punishment?
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7. Prepare for something amazing.
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8. Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?
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9. I want my mommy!
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10. I will never forgive you!
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11. Larry!
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12. Today, us and Murray
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13. are working in a busy office
as a receptionist.
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14. While working
behind the desk,
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15. we'll have to do and say
whatever the other guys tell us.
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16. If you refuse, you lose.
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17. Why'd you say, "Murray"?
Because you look like
the boss.
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18. You don't look like
the receptionist.
Yeah, you...
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19. You look like Dabney Coleman
in "9 to 5."
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20. Sal, you hungry?
I'm a bit.
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21. Good. Turkey sandwich
is in the drawer.
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22. - There you go.
- Yeah.
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23. Open it up on your seat,
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24. and kneel on the floor
and eat it.
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25. Oh, come on.
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26. Kneel in front of it.
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27. This is where
you take your lunch break.
Yeah.
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28. Oh, there's two people.
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29. Um...
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30. Sorry. Guys.
I was on lunch.
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31. Have a seat,
have a seat.
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32. Well, you got to eat.
Sorry.
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33. I had no break today.
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34. Take your time.
We all human.
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35. We get it.
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36. This guy's eating
a sandwich, too.
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37. Grab a piece of paper.
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38. Write in big letters,
"No eating."
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39. Tape it, and smack it right
behind the guy's head.
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40. Sal, pick up the phone,
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41. and I want you
to have a conversation,
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42. but make it seem like
you're talking to the
people in the room.
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43. Are you waiting
for the focus group?
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44. Yeah.
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45. So then, I don't know what
you want to do,
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46. but you can
tell Sandra that.
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47. Oh, you can't bring your
cellphone here either.
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48. No eating,
no cellphone, right?
No.
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49. Sal, make a sign that says,
"No Cellphones,"
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50. and smack it on the wall.
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51. He put it away!
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52. Hey, guys, I planned
a little surprise for Sal.
What do you got?
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53. Sal, it's over.
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54. We are through!
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55. Here's your stuff.
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56. And, please,
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57. no more sexting!
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58. Sal, take a pen,
write on the paper,
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59. "No More Sexting,"
and smack it up on the wall.
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60. Excuse me, sorry.
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61. Excuse me.
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62. "No cellphones,
no eating, no sexting."
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63. We've all been there,
right, guys?
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64. - Hi, hello.
- Hello. Good to meet you.
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65. Desiree.
Desiree, nice to see you.
I'm Joseph.
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66. Joe, top drawer left,
bag of chips.
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67. Go to town.
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68. Desiree,
what borough do you live in?
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69. Um, I'm in Brooklyn.
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70. Brooklyn.
That's really nice.
Yeah.
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71. Yeah.
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72. Om nom.
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73. Yum yum.
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74. Traffic going there
sometimes is rough.
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75. Yeah.
Especially with
the train schedule.
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76. Sometimes I get so...
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77. Q: Joe, start digging
through the trash.
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78. My sandwich is in there
from my turn.
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79. Tell him to fish it out
and eat it.
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80. Joe, Joe...
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81. Sal's sandwich
is still in there from his turn.
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82. So, just dive into the garbage
and get it.
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83. Go in that garbage can,
dude,
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84. and just go to town
on that sandwich.
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85. Oh, bingo.
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86. Make noises, though.
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87. Like, eat like crazy.
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88. Mmm.
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89. Om nom.
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90. Nom.
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91. Yum, yum.
Yum, yum, yum.
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92. Joe, could you sneeze food
all over the wall?
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93. Oh, this is gonna be
too gross for me.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, sneeze!
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94. Yeah, I'm great.
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95. It's just my allergies
are kicking in.
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96. Q's throwing up!
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97. Q threw up.
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98. Q's throwing up!
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99. I can't hear that
too many more times.
Q: Ohh.
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100. I can't even take it.
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101. You're eating
lo mein?
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102. Q: Joey,
get that medicine ball.
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103. Look to your right.
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104. Joe, they say
that's better for posture.
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105. You know, if you're working
long hours at a desk.
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106. I swap out after 7:00
for the posture.
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107. Oh, okay.
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108. And, have no idea how
to properly use it, buddy.
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109. They're really good
for posture and stuff.
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110. Watch the table.
Watch the table.
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111. It rolled.
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112. Joe, if you can fall down
and knock over the garbage can,
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113. the sandwich comes
out, and you start
eating the sandwich,
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114. I will dropkick
every single person in this room
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115. if you pull that off.
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116. It's supposed to stick.
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117. Oh, okay.
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118. Um...
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119. Oh, no, I'm all right.
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120. No, I'm good.
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121. Om nom nom.
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122. Q, you look
a little sleepy, bud.
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123. That's just 'cause of
my general life fitness.
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124. Well, why don't you
take a quick nap.
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125. Why don't you be asleep
when this guy walks in.
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126. That's great —
mouth open.
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127. Q's sleeping.
Q...
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128. don't move
and don't make a sound.
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129. Oh...
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130. This guy's
just sitting there.
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131. He's not even
looking at you.
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132. How long before the guy
gets up and goes, "Excuse me?"
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133. I say he doesn't say a word
in 30 minutes.
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134. Without getting up,
without saying a word?
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135. I don't believe
he's going to.
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136. Let's find out.
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137. Q, we're gonna
make you stay like this
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138. for a half hour, okay?
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139. Can we get a clock
on the screen?
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140. If this guy sits there
for 30 minutes
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141. without getting up...
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142. It's amazing.
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143. This is crazy.
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144. This guys's got his head
in his phone the whole time.
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145. Guys,
he's gonna unravel.
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146. I can't believe this.
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147. I'm getting nervous
that he's gonna get up
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148. and ruin our streak.
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149. I can't believe
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150. he hasn't tried to
at least even walk over...
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151. Oh, no, no!
He's looking up!
Oh!
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152. First time
he's out of his phone!
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153. He's out of his phone.
He's looking around now.
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154. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
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155. Dude, I told you.
It's gonna all fall apart.
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156. Yes!
He's back on the phone!
He's back on the phone!
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157. He's back on the phone!
Whoo!
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158. I'm so excited!
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159. Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh!
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160. Shh! Shh! Shh!
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161. Everybody
shut the up.
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162. Don't —
Settle down!
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163. Oh, my God.
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164. Five, four, three, two, one.
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165. Shh,
shut the up!
30 minutes!
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166. Q, here's what we want you
to do, okay?
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167. We want you
to wake yourself up,
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168. and to show him the picture
that's on your desk.
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169. When this guy signed up
for the focus group,
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170. we went on
his social media profile,
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171. printed out a picture of him,
and put it in a frame.
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172. Hey.
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173. Hey.
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174. Oh, snap.
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175. That's you.
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176. They're ready for you.
You can go in.
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177. They're ready for you.
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178. Hi. What's your name?
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179. - Richard.
- Richard, got it.
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180. Murr,
just cut your tie off.
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181. Just, yeah — grab the scissors
in front of you.
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182. Just got to
shred these papers.
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183. You've never done
a focus group before?
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184. Well, actually did one,
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185. but it wasn't
like a full-term thing.
Yeah, yeah.
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186. Do you, um...
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187. You know the way it works,
though, right?
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188. You go in and they ask you,
like, these questions
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189. that they have no idea.
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190. They have no idea, like,
what the brand is.
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191. You're cutting your tie.
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192. Oh
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193. I got a new tie
in the back.
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194. Give me one second,
okay?
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195. I got a — I got another outfit
in the back.
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196. Do me a favor.
Grab that bucket of water.
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197. Come stand in this.
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198. Stand right here
for a second.
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199. Okay,
let me help you in.
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200. What is going —
What's going —
What is going on?
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201. Just pour it
over his head.
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202. No! No! No way!
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203. No! No! No way!
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204. No!
What? What?
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205. What are you
talking about?
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206. Your tie's messed up.
What are we doing?
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207. It's a refuse-you-lose
situation.
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208. What it — Fine.
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209. I didn't have
another tie.
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210. Oh, you just went outside?
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211. No, I didn't go outside.
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212. Murr, take a call.
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213. Now, Murr,
get up and casually,
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214. while on the phone,
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215. stroll over
to the elevators.
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216. Yeah.
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217. I'll probably be home
at, like, 8:30 or so.
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218. What'd she say
when you told her?
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219. One sec.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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220. It's a 100-foot cord.
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221. Get in the elevator.
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222. I don't know
what's going on, baby.
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223. We have to figure it out.
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224. Yo, what the son?
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225. Shh.
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226. Yo, what the
is going on?
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227. Come back up.
All right, come back up.
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228. I thought
I was on my cellphone.
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229. I was on the phone
with my girlfriend.
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230. I totally slipped.
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231. Okay, Murr.
It's time to close up.
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232. Shut all the lights off
one by one
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233. and just get the hell
out of there.
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234. Almost quitting time
for me.
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235. Closing time.
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236. This one.
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237. There we go.
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238. I think — just to make sure
that these are off.
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239. Okay.
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240. Okay, the fax machine...
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241. Now, just leave
and get in the elevator.
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242. Good night, bud.
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243. All right.
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244. It was success at the desk
for the guys,
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245. so they're all safe
from the loser board.
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246. Today,
we're walking around the park
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247. talking to strangers
about a personal dilemma.
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248. Here's the catch —
this dilemma's gonna
be very weird,
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249. because it's given to us
by the other guys.
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250. Right, and if you can't
get the stranger
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251. to give you
some concrete, sound advice
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252. on this ridiculous
dilemma...
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253. Then you lose.
That's right.
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254. Much better.
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255. Do you mind
if I interrupt —
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256. I hate to interrupt
your conversation.
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257. Do you mind if I ask
your opinion on something?
Sure.
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258. All right, I made
a safe-for-work sexy tape
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259. with my girlfriend.
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260. I made a safe-for-work sexy tape
with my girlfriend.
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261. It was totally
in good taste.
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262. Yes, okay.
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263. But my boss still found it
distasteful,
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264. even though
it was safe for work.
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265. My boss, though,
found it totally distasteful.
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266. And now,
my girlfriend is mad at me
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267. 'cause I work at prude city.
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268. Now, my girlfriend
is mad at me
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269. because she thinks
I work at prude city.
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270. And she wants me to quit.
She wants me to quit.
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271. What should I do?
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272. It's like a romance
kind of thing.
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273. We thought it was like —
it's like a parody.
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274. I thought it was hysterical.
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275. There's a lot of candles.
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276. There's incense burning
in one scene.
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277. We take a bath.
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278. It's a sexy tape.
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279. Sounds like somebody's
from prude city.
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280. Yes, please, please.
This is what I need.
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281. Ah!
Ah!
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282. Full-on engagement.
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283. Thank you so much.
Q: Wow.
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284. He got advice.
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285. Excuse me, can I get
your objective opinion
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286. on something real quick?
Okay.
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287. Would you mind?
No.
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288. I love to dance.
I need to dance.
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289. I have diarrhea.
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290. What do I do?
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291. I love to dance.
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292. As a matter of fact,
I need to dance.
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293. But, I had diarrhea, so...
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294. She's packing up!
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295. All right, well,
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296. I've had enough
embarrassment for one day.
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297. I'll —
thank you for everything.
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298. Have a great day.
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299. Excuse me, sir?
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300. I'm kind of in a pickle,
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301. and I could really
use some advice.
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302. I'm clinically intrigued
by the society of mole people.
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303. I'm —
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304. I'm clinically intrigued
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305. by the society of,
like, mole people
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306. living under the city.
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307. Have you heard of the mole
people?
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308. My P.O. says
I can't lay on the grate
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309. to communicate with them
anymore.
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310. But my P.O. says
I can't lay on the sewer grates
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311. and communicate
with them anymore,
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312. so I'm getting a lot of —
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313. I know this makes me sound
crazy. I swear I'm not.
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314. But I think one of them's
really taken a shine to me.
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315. But I think one of them's
really taken a shine to me.
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316. Do I take the risk?
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317. I don't know if my P.O.'s
watching me right now, or..
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318. For talking to mole people?
Yeah, yeah.
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319. What?
What?
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320. All right, cool.
Thanks buddy, thank you.
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321. That was unexpected.
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322. It's all about the body language
in the park, you know that.
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323. I have to look like
I have a dilemma.
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324. Oh, I got something
I'm dealing with.
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325. Q: You look like a southern
belle with the vapors.
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326. Thank God you're here.
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327. Let me bend your ear
for a minute.
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328. I got to bend your ear
for a minute.
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329. I got a situation
I need your help with.
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330. Hang up with them.
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331. He just calls her
right over!
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332. I promised myself I was gonna
solve this problem by 1:30.
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333. I'm dealing
with a dilemma.
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334. I need you to —
I need an objective opinion.
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335. I bought an old-timey
train ticket to New Hope.
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336. I just bought
an old-timey train ticket
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337. to New Hope, Pennsylvania.
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338. But my racist friend
Chen Chili got one too...
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339. But my racist friend
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340. Chen Chili bought one, too.
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341. And now, my probably-black
friend is coming, as well.
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342. And my probably-black friend
is gonna come.
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343. So, my friend's
probably black,
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344. but Chen Chili's
definitely racist.
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345. So, what do I do?
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346. Don't sit in the same car.
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347. So, segregate him
is what you're saying.
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348. If I want to
see Chen Chili —
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349. so I do a kind of
"Mrs. Doubtfire" scenario.
Yeah.
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350. Well, thank you.
You solved my dilemma,
appreciate it.
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351. Well done, Joe.
That was easy.
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352. Here's a piece
of advice for Sal —
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353. good luck
in tonight's punishment.
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354. Well, Sal's our big loser.
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355. And we are here
in Astoria Sports Complex
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356. who, by happenstance,
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357. are looking to update
their website.
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358. Right, so of course they're
gonna need new photos.
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359. And where better
to start than their
water aerobics class.
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360. Are you ready for this?
I'm snapping photos for this?
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361. You're the photographer.
Yeah.
You're the photographer.
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362. Wait, what the
are you talking about?
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363. What the
Are you saying that...
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364. Yo, now I'm getting
all this in my head now.
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365. Now he gets it.
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366. Inhale as you expand up,
and exhale.
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367. Q: So, this is a real
water aerobics class.
Yes.
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368. The instructor
is in on it.
These people?
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369. Victims.
Victims.
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370. Who, by the way,
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371. have been told
to ignore the photographer.
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372. Q: Here he comes now.
Look at this!
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373. Here he is.
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374. Q: Oh, my God!
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375. My favorite part is that Sal
had to wear a shirt
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376. so we can hide
all the electronics.
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377. Sal, show us all the electronics
in your back.
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378. Look at that!
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379. He looks like
the hunchback of Best Buy.
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380. Lean to take a picture
of this instructor,
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381. and fall into the pool.
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382. Really push down.
Push down underneath you.
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383. Q: There he goes.
There he goes.
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384. There he goes.
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385. He can't do it!
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386. He can't do it!
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387. You got to lean closer,
lean closer.
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388. Just use the water.
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389. Whoopsie.
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390. How you doing, sir?
Sorry I crashed.
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391. He had the presence of mind
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392. to say, "Whoopsie"
before he hit the water.
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393. And press back.
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394. I want a little action
in this one,
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395. so I'm just gonna
splash some water up
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396. in front of the camera.
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397. Remember to lift tall.
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398. Sal laughing.
He's got to go underwater.
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399. Sal, bounce and sink.
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400. Really good, guys.
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401. And now flip quick
behind you.
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402. Selfie with
this guy behind you.
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403. Nice.
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404. Working those
outer thighs...
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405. Q: Sal, go underwater,
emerge too close to people,
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406. and take their photo
like right in their face.
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407. Sal, this guy's got a really
nice bathing suit, right?
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408. Q: He does.
Don't do it to me, Joe.
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409. Yeah, maybe we should get
a close up of the bathing suit?
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410. Q: He does.
Don't do it to me, Joe.
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411. Q: Here we go.
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412. Oh, my...
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413. Stop!
He's trying to get him.
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414. Look at the look
this guy just shot him.
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415. Keep going, keep going.
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416. Oh, my God.
Another one.
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417. Great trunks.
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418. He has a natural retreat.
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419. Sal, see that guy
in the front there?
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420. Get as close
as you can to him.
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421. Lock eyes with him,
and then just sink underwater.
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422. Here he goes.
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423. - Look at him, look at him.
- Lock eyes.
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424. - Get creepy, get creepy.
- Lock eyes.
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425. Take it, take it!
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426. Nice.
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427. Sal, go stand
next to the instructor.
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428. Go to take a picture
over her shoulder.
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429. Good.
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430. All right.
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431. Bring your arms up.
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432. Arms way up in the air,
go "Yikers!"
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433. and fall into the pool.
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434. Raise them nice and tall.
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435. "Yikers!"
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436. Q: Well done, gentlemen.
Sorry.
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437. Well done.
Cannonball, fellas. Cannonball.
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438. I feel like such an idiot
right now.
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439. Welcome to
"Impractical Insider."
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440. I'm here
at Astoria Sports Complex,
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441. where Sal just got punished.
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442. Now, I'm gonna give you
a behind-the-scenes look,
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443. because a lot went into this
underwater punishment.
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444. I'm also gonna show you
some bonus content
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445. from tonight's episode.
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446. Check this out.
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447. How often is your shirt off
for taping?
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448. Not enough.
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449. I agree, I agree.
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450. Geoff is not just, like,
playing around in the water.
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451. He's actually trying to put
the camera in the right way
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452. that you can see everything
underwater.
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453. Sal, you look so weird.
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454. Yeah, look at this,
washing his hands!
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455. No one gets behind the scenes
like me!
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456. I'm in the bathroom right now
watching him wash his hands.
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457. You know why?
Why?
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458. I just peed.
Yes!
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459. Finding out all the details
on set.
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460. You're welcome, everybody.
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461. Audio is
a huge issue today,
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462. because
it's an underwater shoot.
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463. So, tell me about this.
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464. It's a little waterproof pack
we put an IFB in,
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465. so Sal could hear the guys
in the back.
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466. Sal, can you hear us?
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467. So, I can show you
this is the inside-out.
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468. This is great.
I sewed two pockets
back here.
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469. So, this will be on his back,
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470. and we can just
run the wires right through
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471. and no one
will be the wiser.
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472. The Impractical Jokers
are about to do the intro
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473. where they tell Sal
what he has to do.
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474. What the
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475. Oh, underwater!
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476. And there it is.
It's sinking in in stages.
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477. We're seconds away
from Sal's punishment, okay.
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478. He's about to go out.
You want too much.
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479. Yeah,
I'm the Impractical Insider.
He's the Insider.
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480. Are you nervous?
Always.
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481. Sal's gonna be
the creepiest photographer
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482. ever to enter this pool.
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483. Oh, my God.
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484. Q: You look like an Italian
mobster from the 1920s, buddy.
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485. How's it going?
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486. It's going great.
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487. Yikers!
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488. Well done, gentlemen.
Well done.
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489. What was
the water temperature?
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490. You kidding me?
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491. It's freezing.
Get out of here.
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492. So, Sal got punished.
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493. But are you okay?
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494. My ribs... my ribs are...
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495. As of this shooting,
I still got the broken ribs.
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496. Aah!
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497. And that was so funny,
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498. that it felt like
I was re-breaking them.
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499. Whoopsie!
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500. Thanks for watching
"Impractical Insider."
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501. Now, before you go,
we're gonna leave you with this.
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502. Yeah, no, I got Desiree here,
she's still...
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503. Oh, damn it.
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504. I tried
the exercise ball.
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505. Good, now wake up.
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506. They're ready for you.
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507. Send him back in here.
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508. He did it!
30 minutes!
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509. You are the best person
I never met!
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510. That's amazing!
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511. Yeah, the whole time.
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512. We made him fall asleep
for 30 minutes.
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513. We're like, "There's no way
he's gonna leave."
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514. You were so patient.
Like, I wondered how
long you could take.
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515. Thank you so much.
Thanks, man.
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516. We want you guys
to check out the full, unedited,
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517. 30-plus minutes
of Q sleeping.
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518. If you want to do that,
go to this link right here.
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519. If you have nothing to do
for the next half hour or so,
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520. go right here
to kill some time.
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