Impractical Jokers 10x4

1. Let's just get this started.

2. Are you kidding me?

3. Who's a good guy?

4. With special guest john mayer.

5. What is going on?

6. Hey!

7. We're thrilled to have our friend john mayer

8. As a guest tonight.

9. That's right. Here's the challenge.

10. Today, we're playing ceos, and we're in a real bind.

11. Because john mayer and his overseas business partners

12. Have arrived a day early for the big investment meeting.

13. And our senior vice president is nowhere to be found.

14. We're gonna have to ask some random office worker

15. To sit in the meeting and pretend to be our svp.

16. And if, by the end of the meeting, they don't agree

17. To join the team for dinner,

18. Ya lose.

19. Hello. Hi. How are you? Hello.

20. All right, q's out there ingratiating himself

21. To his future senior vice president.

22. She just doesn't know it yet.

23. I'm brian, by the way.

24. Remica. Very nice to meet you, remica.

25. In one moment... Mayer.

26. and our japanese overseas

27. Investors are gonna show up

28. For a meeting that was supposed to be tomorrow.

29. What do they got you doing?

30. You want to tell her about your company?

31. Donkey dan's margarita blender.

32. You drink donkey dan's?

33. Well, you know donkey dan's margarita?

34. The mixing blenders?

35. You don't do the donkey?

36. Oh, that'll do it. Yeah.

37. All right, send in cole.

38. Coming in hot. Bad news.

39. Brian. Hey, sorry.

40. What's up, bud?

41. You know the meeting with john mayer

42. And the japanese investors?

43. Yeah. Tomorrow at, what, 3:00?

44. Yeah, that's what I thought, too. But they're outside.

45. This is a donkey disaster.

46. They're here to meet the head of operations.

47. Dude, we're gonna look like idiots.

48. Well, this is happening. Well, this is happening.

49. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. I tried to call them.

50. All right, all right. Bring them up.

51. Here we go. You're a john mayer fan?

52. Yes.

53. How would you like to meet john mayer?

54. Okay.

55. All you got to do is pretend that you're...

56. You're sage johnson, svp of development.

57. Sage johnson, my svp.

58. Uh-oh.

59. They've never actually met sage before.

60. I bet you we can get through this.

61. Oh, she's in!

62. Now, this is important.

63. John mayer might play a song. Don't like whatever he plays.

64. All right. Okay. This is the important thing.

65. He wants to suggest a new donkey dan jingle for it.

66. We can't afford it. So we have to tell him no.

67. No matter what. Okay?

68. Let's see sage reject john mayer's song.

69. Oh, my god. Q, they're coming.

70. The investors are actors. They're in on the bit.

71. Hey, guys. Here we are, people.

72. People, people, people, people, people, people.

73. And here we go!

74. Thank you for coming. I'm sorry.

75. We thought that you guys were coming in tomorrow,

76. And we just happened to get...

77. We're here.

78. He busted it out immediately.

79. Yeah. Oh!

80. Yeah. So...

81. When we did that party,

82. I had that idea for that song from the very beginning,

83. And I told you I wouldn't even let you hear a bar of it

84. Until I got in the room with you.

85. Sure. Okay.

86. She just remembered she has to hate whatever he plays.

87. He's riffing this.

88. Oh, my god.

89. Okay. No.

90. Oh! Oh, my god.

91. Oh, my god.

92. What didn't you like about it?

93. Well, I'm — we're sticking to the program.

94. Take it again, john.

95. I promise you, if I never played it again,

96. You'd be singing it when you took your shoes off tonight.

97. I love this jingle.

98. Well, we're not trying to do fist fights

99. And driving drunk and stuff.

100. She is holding firm. She's holding firm.

101. Okay.

102. So maybe we could workshop the lyrics a little bit,

103. Make it a little more fun.

104. Oh, boy.

105. What about females? What about women?

106. what now, sage?

107. How about, like, date night, friend mingle?

108. Okay, so how many songs do you want?

109. Well, how many songs do you want?

110. Is sage the one who decides?

111. Q: Well, yes. Yes.

112. - She said yes! - Yes. Yes.

113. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, fair enough.

114. "one last thing.

115. Sage, would you be willing to come to dinner with us tonight?"

116. So, uh, sage, uh, would you be willing

117. To come with us to dinner tonight?

118. Oh, wow. Um...

119. Murr and sal: Ohhhh...

120. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah?

121. Oh! Oh,

122. Wow. This is just the greatest day.

123. You really look like a ceo, sal.

124. How you doing? Good, man. How are you?

125. Good. Good. Sal.

126. Josh.

127. Josh. Pleasure. Nice to meet you.

128. What do they got you doing today?

129. A lot of organizing.

130. A lot of that to go around.

131. I work with, um...

132. You're a press-on nails company, but you only do thumbs.

133. We do the — you know press-on nails?

134. Yes.

135. We — we specialize in thumbs, actually.

136. All right. Cynical.

137. - Sorry. Sal? - Yeah.

138. That meeting with john mayer and the japanese investors.

139. Yeah. Yeah, they're — they're here.

140. They're supposed to be here tomorrow. It's tomorrow at noon.

141. I thought so, too, honestly.

142. They're expecting to meet my svp, charlemagne batiste.

143. They're expecting to meet my svp of all operations,

144. Charlemagne batiste.

145. Look at his eyes.

146. Come with me in that room.

147. You are charlemagne batiste.

148. All I need is you to do to just sit here

149. Because I don't want to look unprepared.

150. Yes! He's in! He's in!

151. If you see them on the way, just give me a heads-up.

152. Come right on in. Okay.

153. Okay, okay.

154. Q: Oh, oh, oh. Oh!

155. Here comes josh.

156. We are the number-two manufacturer of press-on nails.

157. It's a business for 35 years, and you're charlemagne batiste.

158. Got it.

159. Guys. We're here, like you said.

160. We were expecting you tomorrow. Oh, no.

161. This is charlemagne batiste, the svp that you came to meet.

162. Thank you so much for coming.

163. Oh, thank you. Thank you so, so much.

164. You know it's my favorite.

165. Please have a seat, please.

166. I thought you guys were supposed to be tomorrow at noon.

167. "well, we heard that hiroto yamamoto passed away."

168. We had sudden news that yamamoto hiroto passed away.

169. "and we know you were close with him, charlemagne."

170. You were close to yamamoto?

171. Yes.

172. I just want to know how you met hiroto yamamoto.

173. How did you — how did you meet him?

174. I can't do this.

175. I am josh. I'm not sure what's going on.

176. Oh, my god!

177. You're not char?

178. I just want to know how you met hiroto yamamoto.

179. How did you — how did you meet him?

180. I can't do this.

181. I am josh. I'm not sure what's going on right now.

182. Oh, my god!

183. You're not char?

184. This has gone so wrong.

185. He just got thrown off. I'm a temp here.

186. I just came in today.

187. Now, guys, you're only interested in josh's ideas

188. For the press-on nail company.

189. So, do you have any ideas for thumb and thumber?

190. Thumb and thumber.

191. Q: Confer. Confer, guys. Confer.

192. You know what? You have brought shame on press-on nails, bro.

193. You refused to drink my coffee, and you lied to us.

194. I can pour the coffee.

195. "drink it. Drink it or we leave."

196. Look, guys, guys — drink it. Drink it.

197. Thank you. Josh. Yes.

198. Q: Oh, god. Oh, my god.

199. Is josh leaving?

200. Josh is going to get cups.

201. I want him to walk in on kenji and sal arm wrestling.

202. Yeah, he's coming back, he's coming back.

203. Hey!

204. Sal could still win, you know.

205. It's just about whether josh will join for dinner.

206. Q: Oh, that is true, sal. You're still in it.

207. Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?

208. Q and murr: Uh-oh.

209. Yes.

210. Oh! Oh, my god!

211. He's still got it! He pulls it out!

212. Here we go!

213. Hey, bill. How's it going?

214. No problem. It's going good.

215. My name's james. Nice to meet you.

216. How are you, sir? All right.

217. Thanks for the help today.

218. Let's send cole in.

219. Murray's about to get the news.

220. Hey, excuse me. You know that meeting?

221. Yeah, yeah.

222. They're here right now.

223. No, cole. The — the investors come tomorrow.

224. We have this all planned for tomorrow.

225. They're supposed to be here tomorrow, cole.

226. This is happening.

227. Why don't you tell him what you do, murr?

228. You're the country's number-two manufacturer of oat pulp.

229. Our company is the number-two manufacturer of oat pulp.

230. Oat pulp. The problem is this.

231. Jocko bouchet isn't here.

232. Jocko bouchet is not here.

233. He's my number two at the company.

234. Hold on a second.

235. They don't know what jocko bouchet looks like.

236. You have to play jocko bouchet, okay?

237. Q: Oh, my god. Oh!

238. Okay.

239. He's in. He's in.

240. Does this fit? Uh, you look great!

241. "let's get this shmoney."

242. Let's get this shmoney, okay? Let's get this shmoney.

243. Oh, here they come.

244. Hi, hi, hi, hi! You are here early.

245. "luckily, jocko is fully prepared."

246. We — jocko in particular is fully prepared for the meeting.

247. I love that this guy went from sorting papers

248. To leading this meeting.

249. Thank you so very much for being here.

250. So, basically, we wanted to just give you a quick overview... He's doing it himself.

251. Of what it is that we've accomplished.

252. Nobody told him to say this.

253. Our product is oat pulp.

254. We can work together to create win-win solutions.

255. Good luck, guys. You've met your match in jocko bouchet.

256. Mr. Bouchet, when we talk about re-pulp-osing...

257. How can we get re-pulp-osing somewhere

258. In the 40% range in the first year?

259. Excellent question. Jocko?

260. We were looking at how to start with the basics

261. So that we can have all the resources

262. That we need at its best quality.

263. Murray, you lucky son of a bitch.

264. Kaito, say, "I hope you've provided some

265. Adult entertainment."

266. You flew us all the way here.

267. I hope you have some adult entertainment.

268. You want to tell them about what we have planned, jocko?

269. Well, you know, that's an industry that, uh...

270. Was the oldest industry in the world, right?

271. Prostitutes.

272. Look at john! John!

273. John, what are you looking at? John?

274. "we meant live music."

275. I meant live music.

276. Oh, live music. Oh, okay.

277. Let's sell some motheroats.

278. There it is.

279. Q: Now ask him out to dinner. It's not over yet.

280. Would you like to have dinner with us tonight?

281. Here we go, murr.

282. I was thinking that we might want to save those things

283. For later on, for the next phase.

284. All that and he's not doing it?

285. You lost, bro.

286. Oh, murray! Jocko shit the bed.

287. Murr couldn't close the deal,

288. So he's tonight's big loser.

289. All right, so, murray lost,

290. So we have our friend john mayer here to help us.

291. Yes, I'm gonna be playing

292. A very intimate acoustic performance

293. At the sultan room here in brooklyn for some fans.

294. Q: All right, murr, for your punishment,

295. You're gonna be john's stage manager today.

296. And you, my friend, are gonna be drunk on power.

297. Drunk on power. All right, concert in five.

298. Wrap it up. Let's go, let's go. Come on.

299. We created a monster, boys.

300. All right, here we go.

301. So, murray, our stage manager,

302. Is filling up the room right now.

303. All right. Come on, you guys.

304. In anticipation of your performance.

305. They look psyched.

306. But we're not waiting for john's performance.

307. The punishment starts now.

308. The guy with the headband.

309. "there's a no-headband rule, bro.

310. Come on, dude. This is not an la fitness."

311. Look. You're not in an la fitness.

312. Take the headband off, okay?

313. Okay. Great.

314. That is the first one.

315. Q: Murr, you see the guy at the bottom of the stairs?

316. You, uh — you need something? You okay?

317. You okay? Yeah, I'm great.

318. Tell him to get up and put him in the back.

319. Get your bag for me for one second.

320. And now lead him to the back.

321. The furthest-back chair. The furthest-back chair.

322. Q: Sit him down and say,

323. "act like you've been here before" and walk away.

324. There you go. You sit in the back now, okay?

325. Act like you've been here before, bro.

326. Oh!

327. Oh!

328. Oh, my god.

329. Murr, go up to the front. Take these two girls.

330. Don't even say anything, just pull them both by the hands

331. And pull them away from the table.

332. Put them in the vip pen. All, the vip pen.

333. - Join, join. - What?

334. Don't let go. Don't let go.

335. This way.

336. I can't, I can't. Oh, god.

337. Putting you guys in the vip pen for right now.

338. So have a stand here real quick for me.

339. We got to stock that pen, murr.

340. We got to get as many people as we can in it.

341. Come on.

342. We're putting you in the vip paddock.

343. Join me for one second.

344. I'm gonna put you in the vip paddock.

345. I need you back here in the vip paddock, okay?

346. Just go on in. "beep, beep.

347. Oh, look at the vips adding up."

348. Beep, beep. Vip's filling up.

349. This is... I know.

350. This is...

351. Really brutal.

352. We're gonna get ready to send john out.

353. Guys, remember to keep your energy up.

354. Big applause when he walks in.

355. Ladies and gentlemen, mr. John mayer.

356. Give it up for mr. John mayer.

357. Q: The fun is about to begin, murr.

358. Ladies and gentlemen, mr. John mayer.

359. Give it up for mr. John mayer.

360. Yeah!

361. Q: The fun is about to begin, murr.

362. Songs are like stories, and stories are like songs.

363. I thought that I would begin with

364. "your body is a wonderland."

365. Okay?

366. Here we go.

367. And that's it — instantly,

368. The room has forgiven everything murray's done so far.

369. Everybody's happy to see john.

370. Yell "cut," murr, yell "cut."

371. Cut, cut, cut.

372. I'm sorry. Cut, cut.

373. I'm talking to the booth, john. My apologies.

374. Cut. Johnny, one sec, okay?

375. Yes?

376. I was looking at that empty space.

377. I don't...

378. Oh, let's get to it. Let's get into it. Oh!

379. Who were in these seats?

380. Lady's right there.

381. They're further back than the front.

382. "they're in the paddock."

383. They're in the — the paddock.

384. The vip.

385. A vip paddock?

386. Can you sit them here, please?

387. bring them up.

388. There's no one over here. There's no one over here.

389. He we go, murr.

390. The crowd is not wasting time turning on you, buddy.

391. Murr, make him go back to one

392. And start all the "bullover again.

393. From the top.

394. Johnny, start at one and tell the whole bullagain.

395. Oh! Oh! Oh, my god!

396. Songs are like stories.

397. All right, murr, start moving people out of the front row.

398. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

399. Do one more. Do another one.

400. Why are you moving people in the middle of the song?

401. Oh, god. Oh, god.

402. For the best camera angles.

403. She was blocking the camera from reactions.

404. How about we don't interrupt ever again?

405. You want me to go?

406. Unequivocally, yes.

407. We're right where we want him!

408. In the palm of our hand! The palm of our hand!

409. Okay, murr, here's the thing.

410. It is not over, buddy. Here's what you don't know.

411. Your mic is live. There's a bathroom in that hallway.

412. We want you to go in there right now...

413. Do a number two, buddy. And try to take a shit.

414. F-you. You lost.

415. It's a punishment. You got to do it, buddy.

416. Okay, murr, here's the thing. It is not over, buddy.

417. Here's what you don't know. Your mic is live.

418. There's a bathroom in that hallway.

419. We want you to go in there right now...

420. Do a number two, buddy. And try to take a shit.

421. F-you. You lost.

422. This next song is a song that a lot of people seem to get wrong.

423. So, murr, you have one job right now, buddy.

424. They can hear anything you're gonna say right now.

425. We want you to start insulting john.

426. Even though I am singing to fathers...

427. What's a white guy have any right

428. Playing the blues for anyway?

429. Ooh! Ooh!

430. Take his mic.

431. Yeah. I'll be out in 5 minutes.

432. Yeah, I'm going to the bathroom first, tom.

433. Q: Uh-oh, john. He's such a frickin' diva.

434. It really is about a girl that I was very deeply...

435. Okay, here we go. In love with.

436. Here we go.

437. Oh, my god, is he trying to right now?

438. Is it happening?

439. okay.

440. Whew!

441. Uh, what is going on?

442. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh. Oh.

443. Okay.

444. Oh, my god.

445. The song is "daughters."

446. All right, murr, get out now.

447. Do you feel better? Do you feel better?

448. What do you mean?

449. We all heard you...

450. Can we pull some tape up?

451. Tape? I'm sorry, tape?

452. Yeah, can we pull some tape up? Q: Look, murr.

453. Look at the tv screen! Oh, my god!

454. Surprise, murr, surprise.

455. Surprise, murr.

456. You guys want to see him get his comeuppance, right?

457. Everyone right now is watching you

458. Take a crap on camera.

459. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

460. All right. "your body is a wonderland."

461. John mayer came to play!