1. And when
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2. the rinse cycle began,
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3. the washing machine
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4. started to wobble
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5. and make strange
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6. rumbling noises.
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7. - Okay, this ghost story
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8. is going nowhere.
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9. - You're not scary.
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10. Just wait.
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11. Then, finally,
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12. I called customer service
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13. and they told me
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14. my washing machine
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15. was out of warranty.
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16. - Anything else?
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17. Can I come
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18. wash some clothes at your house?
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19. - No!
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20. Oh!
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21. - Get out of here, you bra!
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22. Hey!
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23. - You bad bra, you.
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24. - That's not scary.
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25. - No. Please.
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26. - Okay, a lot of you guys
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27. have e-mailed and texted us,
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28. asking if—
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29. What?
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30. - I thought I heard
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31. Spencer coming.
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32. - He's night-fishing
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33. with Socko.
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34. - Okay.
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35. - Sorry,
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36. Sam and Spencer are involved
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37. in a little game this week.
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38. - It's called Assassin
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39. and it's not a game.
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40. - They use blow-tubes
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41. with little paint balls
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42. and try to get each other.
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43. - It's serious chiz.
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44. Carly lost on the first day.
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45. - Spencer whacked me
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46. while I was eating toast.
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47. - And I got Freddie while he was
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48. doin' a camera test.
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49. Show 'em, Fredbag.
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50. Tilt it down?
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51. - Yeah. Wait, not that much.
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52. Back up.
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53. Okay. Like this?
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54. - Yeah.
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55. - No, Sam. Not now. Wait!
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56. I blow, I score. Ninja!
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57. - So the only two people
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58. left in the game now
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59. are Sam and my brother, Spencer.
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60. - Not for long.
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61. Spencer gonna get got.
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62. - I apologize for her grammar.
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63. - I'm not educated,
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64. but I'm a lot of fun.
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65. - It's true.
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66. Now, to close the show...
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67. - No, Sam, don't—
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68. and we're not clear.
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69. In five, four, three, two...
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70. - Aah!
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71. - I thought
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72. you were gonna be Sam.
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73. - Give me it.
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74. - No. I need it.
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75. - Give me it.
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76. - Now, how am I gonna defend
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77. myself when Sam—
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78. - Stop it! Stop it!
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79. Give me your blow-tube.
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80. - But all I—
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81. Hep!
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82. Ah ba ba ba!
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83. Ah ba ba ba ba!
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84. You stand up.
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85. Now, I'm putting your guys'
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86. little Assassin game on hold
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87. till we finish shooting
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88. this dare for iCarly.
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89. Are we clear?
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90. - Just give us back—
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91. Are we clear?
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92. - Okay.
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93. - Yes'm.
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94. So, uh, what dare?
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95. - An iCarly fan dared Carly
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96. to wear a bunny suit
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97. and offer to brush
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98. people's teeth for a dollar.
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99. - Man. Your web show's weird.
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100. - Who's not ready?
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101. - Let's do it.
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102. - We'll be back in two hours.
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103. - Okay. Be careful.
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104. Agua.
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105. Uh, Maybe.
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106. We will.
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107. - Where'd you get
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108. a little one?
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109. - A good assassin
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110. always has a backup.
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111. - Up against the wall.
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112. Feet apart.
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113. - Yeah, feet apart!
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114. - Really?
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115. - Really?
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116. - Let's go.
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117. - She's a clever one.
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118. - Okay, my pizza,
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119. the time has come.
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120. Oh, yes.
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121. Who's a pretty pie?
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122. - Spencer!
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123. - Hey!
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124. No, Carly said
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125. the game is on hold until—
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126. - Freddie's hurt.
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127. - Yeah, right.
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128. I'm not fallin' for—
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129. - I'm not kidding.
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130. Freddie's hurt.
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131. - Wait, what happened?
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132. - Carly was crossing the street
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133. and a taco truck
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134. came around the corner
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135. and Carly didn't see the truck
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136. and so Freddie ran out and
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137. pushed Carly out of the way—
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138. - Is Carly okay?
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139. - Yes, but Freddie got hit.
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140. - Okay, okay. Did you call 911?
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141. - Yeah. Me and Carly both did.
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142. - Oh, man, I better call
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143. Mrs. Benson at work.
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144. You bought a taco?
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145. - Uh-huh.
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146. - From the truck
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147. that hit Freddie?
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148. - Well, me starving
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149. is not gonna help him.
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150. - Oh, who is that?
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151. Ugh, what do you two want?
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152. - Can we please see Freddie?
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153. - No.
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154. - Yes. Mom, let 'em in.
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155. - Fine.
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156. Leave your shoes in the hall.
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157. - Please, be nice.
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158. - Of course.
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159. Why wouldn't I be nice
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160. to the girl
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161. who tried to kill my son?
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162. - Hello.
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163. - Hi, Mrs. Benson.
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164. How is he?
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165. - Broken. Damaged.
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166. But I see you look fine,
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167. isn't that nice?
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168. - Mom.
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169. - And I see
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170. you brought flowers,
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171. which will only exacerbate
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172. Freddie's allergies.
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173. - Mom, I'm not allergic
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174. to flowers.
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175. - And you weren't allergic
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176. to Mexican food trucks,
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177. but look at you now.
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178. I'll take these flowers
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179. and I'll soak them in bleach.
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180. - She's pretty upset.
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181. - Really?
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182. How you doin'?
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183. - Okay. Pretty sore.
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184. - Sore? You have a broken leg
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185. and your hand is all smushed,
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186. and it's all my fault.
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187. - It's not your fault.
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188. - Yeah, it is, if I'd
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189. seen that stupid truck coming,
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190. you never would've had to—
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191. - Stop.
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192. - Hey, look, his toes stick out
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193. of his cast.
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194. - Spencer.
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195. - So, are you in much pain?
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196. - I was, but the doctor
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197. sent over some pills.
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198. - You took one?
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199. Well, sort of.
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200. My mom thinks
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201. I'll choke on pills
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202. so she pounds 'em with a mallet
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203. and puts the pill powder
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204. in my fruit sauce.
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205. - Fruit sauce?
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206. - My mom thinks
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207. I'll choke on fruit
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208. so she pounds it with a mallet—
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209. - It's not my business.
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210. Can I use your bathroom?
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211. - Sure, right through there.
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212. Thanks.
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213. - You saved my life.
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214. - Come on.
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215. - Sam said that truck
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216. would have run right over me.
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217. - Maybe.
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218. Hey, you guys in here?
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219. - Yeah, we're in Freddie's room.
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220. - Did I hear Sam?
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221. - Yeah, she's—
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222. Duh!
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223. - MRS.
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224. - I'm sorry.
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225. - What happened to the flowers?
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226. - I soaked them in bleach
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227. and pounded them with a mallet.
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228. - Hey, Sam.
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229. - Ah!
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230. - Don't! I'm just a Gibby!
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231. Sorry.
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232. I'm on the lookout for Spencer.
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233. We're the only two left
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234. in the game.
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235. - But you're at school.
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236. So?
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237. Spencer will try to sneak up
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238. on me anywhere, anytime.
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239. Even here.
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240. Watch my back
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241. while I get something
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242. out of my locker.
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243. - And what if I see Spencer?
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244. - Use your face and body
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245. to protect me.
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246. - Ah, like a human shield.
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247. - I was gonna say bullet-monkey,
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248. but whatever tickles your peach.
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249. - There's Spencer
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250. with a fake beard.
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251. - Oi!
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252. - Rabbi Goldman!
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253. - That was a real rabbi.
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254. - I didn't know.
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255. I don't have cable.
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256. - Puckett,
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257. you just earned yourself
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258. triple detention.
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259. Come along, rabbi.
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260. - How my hair look, Sam?
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261. - You look good, Gib.
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262. - Where is he?
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263. - In the shower.
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264. His first cleansing
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265. since the accident you caused.
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266. - Mrs. Benson—
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267. - Ah.
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268. I have to go to the pharmacy
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269. and get his meds.
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270. Freddie, I'll be back
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271. in 36 minutes.
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272. It should have been you.
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273. Oh!
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274. - Freddie?
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275. Mom?
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276. - No, it's Carly. Your mom left.
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277. What happened?
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278. I fell.
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279. - Are you okay?
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280. Yeah.
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281. But I don't think I can get up.
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282. - All right,
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283. I'll come help you.
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284. No!
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285. Don't come in here.
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286. - Why not?
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287. - 'Cause I'm in the shower.
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288. - Well, you can't just lay
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289. on the shower floor
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290. for 36 minutes.
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291. Just a sec.
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292. - Hang on!
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293. All right, Freddie.
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294. I can't see anything.
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295. I'm coming in. Where are you?
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296. Down here.
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297. Can you turn off the water?
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298. Yeah. Here.
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299. Ow. Easy.
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300. Just move slow.
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301. All right. Wait.
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302. Let me get my robe.
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303. Okay.
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304. Put your arm through here.
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305. Okay, okay.
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306. - Are we walking the right way?
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307. - Yeah, just keep going.
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308. Ah!
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309. - It hurts?
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310. - Well, it doesn't feel good.
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311. - Where's your bed?
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312. - Yeah, just right—
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313. just right here.
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314. I'll sit first.
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315. - Get under the covers.
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316. - Yeah. I'm doin' it.
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317. - You got it?
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318. - Yeah. Whew.
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319. Okay, you can take off
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320. the goggles.
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321. - That was scary. And wet.
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322. - Yeah.
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323. Thanks for helping me.
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324. - If it wasn't for me,
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325. you wouldn't need my help.
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326. - Will you stop with that?
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327. - You know, everyone at school
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328. is saying you're a hero.
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329. - I don't feel like a hero.
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330. - Well, you are one...
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331. To me.
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332. - Freddie, I got you some—
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333. - What the yuck?
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334. - Nothing!
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335. - Mom I wasn't—
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336. - No, I'm just—
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337. Nothing.
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338. I was taking his temperature.
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339. See? 98.6, healthy as a duck.
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340. Bye.
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341. - Carly, don't leave!
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342. - She's beating me
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343. with your underwear.
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344. Mom. Oh no, no, no.
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345. Mom, mom, please—no, mom.
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346. - Hey, Carls.
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347. Oh. You scared me.
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348. - Yeah, I saw that.
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349. - What were you doing
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350. behind that bush?
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351. - Lying in wait,
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352. so I can get the drop on Spencer
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353. when he comes home.
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354. Man, you look even whiter
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355. than usual.
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356. You okay?
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357. - Yeah, I'm fine.
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358. - Freddie okay?
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359. - Yes.
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360. What are you,
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361. the girl of many questions?
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362. - Uh, what just happened
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363. in there?
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364. - I kissed Freddie!
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365. - Well, good morning,
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366. Mr. and Mrs. Benson.
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367. - Sam...
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368. - Stop.
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369. - Oops, second bell.
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370. See you after class.
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371. - Yeah, savor it.
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372. - Savor what?
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373. - The love, the Carly love.
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374. - Jealous?
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375. - Gross.
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376. - Then what's your problem?
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377. - Not my problem, yours.
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378. - Wait.
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379. - Go to class, crutchie.
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380. - What problem do I have?
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381. - You want the truth?
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382. - Let's hear it.
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383. - Remember two years ago
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384. when I dated that guy,
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385. Eric Mosby,
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386. the kid with the big nose?
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387. - Sure, Noseby Mosby.
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388. Uh-huh.
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389. And remember how he tried
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390. to get me to be his girlfriend
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391. for like six months,
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392. and I kept sayin':
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393. "Get away from me
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394. or I'll kill you"?
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395. And then,
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396. he bought me a subscription to
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397. the "Bacons Of The World Club"?
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398. And then, boom, I thought
Copy !req
399. I was in love with the guy?
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400. - I'm listening.
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401. - I was never in love with him.
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402. I was in love
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403. with the foreign bacon
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404. that kept showin' up at my door
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405. every month.
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406. Like a beautiful greasy dream.
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407. - Uh, I doubt that bacon
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408. could make you think
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409. you're in love with someone.
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410. - You ever had bolivian bacon?
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411. - No.
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412. - It changes you.
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413. - Well, I didn't buy Carly
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414. any foreign bacon.
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415. I saved her life.
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416. - And that's Carly's bacon.
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417. She's not in love with you.
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418. She's in love with what you did.
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419. - You just can't stand the idea
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420. of Carly and me as a couple.
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421. - Very true.
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422. It makes me wanna puke up blood.
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423. But still, what I said is true
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424. and you know it.
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425. - I gotta get to class.
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426. - Here's Spencie!
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427. Ow!
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428. Ugh, I gotta quit saying
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429. witty things before I blow.
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430. - Hello.
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431. This is the housekeeper.
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432. I'm very old and not Spencer.
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433. - Who is it?
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434. Delivery for Spencer Shay.
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435. - Okay.
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436. - Hey.
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437. - Hey.
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438. Okay. Bring it in.
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439. - Here you go.
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440. - Wait. Open it up.
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441. Real slow-like.
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442. Whoa...
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443. You see a girl in there?
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444. - No. Why, did you order one?
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445. - No.
Copy !req
446. What's in it?
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447. - Uh, just this.
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448. - Just a lollipop?
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449. - Yeah.
Copy !req
450. Except to where I come from,
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451. we don't call it a lollipop.
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452. - Oh.
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453. Well, what do you call it?
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454. - A sucker.
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455. - What?
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456. No.
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457. - Yeah, baby! Momma wins!
Copy !req
458. I am the ultimate Assassin!
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459. Whoo! Yeah!
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460. - There you are.
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461. - Here I am.
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462. Spencer tell you
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463. I was comin' over?
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464. - Yeah, he said you wanna fix
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465. something on the iCarly site?
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466. - I'm just gonna bump up
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467. the speed with this eight core,
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468. three gigahertz server.
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469. - Oooh, I love it
Copy !req
470. when you talk all techie.
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471. - Really?
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472. - Yeah.
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473. It's cute and geeky
Copy !req
474. at the same time.
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475. It's cu-ky.
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476. - You've never called
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477. my tech-talk cu-ky before.
Copy !req
478. - Well, that was before
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479. we were— you know?
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480. - Ooh.
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481. - You retreated.
Copy !req
482. - I didn't retreat.
Copy !req
483. - You kinda did. What's wrong?
Copy !req
484. - Nothing.
Copy !req
485. It's just— so, are we—
Copy !req
486. like, boyfriend and girlfriend
Copy !req
487. now?
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488. - I dunno, maybe.
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489. - Oh.
Copy !req
490. - Well, don't say "Oh"
Copy !req
491. like that.
Copy !req
492. - I just said "Oh".
Copy !req
493. - No, you said it
Copy !req
494. like you were at a raffle,
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495. and you won a prize,
Copy !req
496. and then you found out the prize
Copy !req
497. was just a can of soup,
Copy !req
498. so you go, "Oh."
Copy !req
499. - You know I like you
Copy !req
500. way better than most soups.
Copy !req
501. - Well, yay.
Copy !req
502. Now, what do wanna do,
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503. kiss or bump up your four-score
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504. giggle-jam server?
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505. - Eight core, three gigahertz.
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506. - Yeah
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507. that's really interesting.
Copy !req
508. Come here.
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509. - Wow, you seriously
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510. don't wanna kiss me.
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511. Why?
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512. - 'Cause...
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513. I'm just bacon!
Copy !req
514. - You're bacon?
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515. - Foreign bacon.
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516. - Did that taco truck
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517. hit you in your brain?
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518. - I thought you wanted me
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519. to be your girlfriend
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520. since the first day you met me.
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521. - I have.
Copy !req
522. - Well?
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523. I'm standing here with my lips
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524. all glossed up
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525. and you're treating me like
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526. I'm your icky cousin Amanda.
Copy !req
527. - Amanda is disgusting.
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528. - Freddie—
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529. - Okay, you know how
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530. you've always said you like me,
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531. but that you don't like me
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532. that way?
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533. You know, the good way?
Copy !req
534. - Yeah, but that was before—
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535. - Before I saved your life?
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536. - So?
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537. - Nothing's changed.
Copy !req
538. I'm still the same Freddie
Copy !req
539. and you're still the same Carly.
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540. - But I love—
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541. You love what I did.
Copy !req
542. You love that I risked my life
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543. to save yours.
Copy !req
544. But I don't think
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545. you're in love with me.
Copy !req
546. You just think you are.
Copy !req
547. - You mean like when Sam
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548. dated Noseby Mosby
Copy !req
549. because he got her
Copy !req
550. all that bacon?
Copy !req
551. - Bacon. Yeah, exactly.
Copy !req
552. - So, you don't want me
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553. to be your girlfriend?
Copy !req
554. - No, I do.
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555. But... I think we should
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556. wait a while
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557. 'til I'm out of this cast and
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558. this whole hero thing wears off.
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559. And then, if you still
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560. wanna be my girlfriend,
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561. I'd be really psyched about it.
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562. - Okay.
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563. - I should probably get home
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564. so my mom can spray me.
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565. Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
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566. - Yeah, um, listen,
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567. when we kissed before,
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568. I didn't realize that would be
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569. our last one—for a while—
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570. so, I was thinkin'
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571. maybe if you wanted to...
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572. - 'Night, Freddie.
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573. - What did I do?
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574. - Hi, watch me feed baby Spencer
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575. some salsa.
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576. - Yay. Baby like salsa.
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577. There you go.
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578. - Yeah, yummy.
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579. - Okay. Dance, baby.
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580. Mmm!
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