iCarly 3x7

Directed by Steve Hoefer

Mary Scheer as Marissa Benson • Noah Munck as Gibby Gibson • Jesse Erwin as Ollie Paisley • Christopher Michael as Officer Carl • Chelsea Alden as Giggling Girl

After Mrs. Benson pushes Freddie too far by making Freddie eat asparagus while doing iCarly, showing people at school his baby pictures, and vacuuming his ear while he was sleeping, Freddie gets upset, moves out and gets his own apartment on the top floor of Bushwell Plaza. In the meanwhile, Carly, Sam, and Freddie start a pet photography business, only to see their studio destroyed by a snooty competing pet photography business owners Stewart Butler and Ollie Paisley. In the end, Marissa realizes she needs Freddie, begging him to return; Freddie makes her promise not to embarrass him in public ever again.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Okay. Next up...

2. - ... on the iCarly...

3. - ... we wanna do

4. something nice...

5. - ... for our weird

6. little friend, Gibby.

7. - He has a dog named Grubbles.

8. - And Grubbles

9. just went through

10. a very difficult break-up

11. with a frisky French poodle.

12. - She really jerked him around.

13. - So we thought

14. we'd cheer up Grubbles...

15. - ... and help him

16. get his confidence back...

17. - ... by giving him his own...

18. - Now, here's Grubbles'

19. before picture.

20. That's a face only a Gibby

21. could love.

22. - But take a look

23. at Grubbles now.

24. Uh-huh, Grubbles.

25. Whoo.

26. Yeah!

27. - Looking good, Grubbles.

28. What's up, hot stuff?

29. - So, how does Grubbles

30. like his new look?

31. - Oh, he loves it.

32. And it's been a real boost

33. to his self esteem.

34. - Well, we're about

35. to boost him even higher.

36. - Yep, we're gonna make him

37. feel super special...

38. - ... by giving Grubbles

39. his very own...

40. - Grubbles, Grubbles, Grubbles.

41. Come on, let's go.

42. - They took a lot of pics.

43. - Pics we'll be posting

44. right here at iCarly.com.

45. - So make sure you look at 'em.

46. - Look at them.

47. - Freddie Benson.

48. - Mom, we're in the middle

49. of the show.

50. - I don't care.

51. You have some explaining to do.

52. - Mom, can we talk

53. about this later?

54. Sam, don't take the—Come on.

55. - This could be very fun

56. to watch.

57. - What's so important?

58. - Maybe you'd like to explain

59. the contents of this baggie?

60. - What is that?

61. - Oh, you don't recognize

62. this asparagus

63. that I put on your dinner plate?

64. - Mom, can we—

65. Don't shoot this.

66. - Sorry, I can't hear you

67. over this embarrassment.

68. - Mom, please, leave.

69. - After you finish

70. your vegetables.

71. - Oh, my—

72. - You better finish that

73. with "gosh."

74. - Dear gosh,

75. please make her leave.

76. - Dude, just finish

77. your asparagus

78. so we can get on with the show.

79. - Don't sing the song.

80. In five, four, three, two.

81. - What's all the—

82. Asparagus.

83. Benson.

84. - Yeah, so clever.

85. I bet you guys win a "Clevy".

86. Hey, Freddie.

87. Guess what they're serving

88. in the cafeteria tomorrow.

89. - Oh, is it asparagus?

90. 'Cause that'd be so hilarious.

91. - No, it's fish sticks.

92. What's your problem?

93. - Hey, hey. I'm sorry.

94. - No, I'm sorry.

95. - Hey, Gibby.

96. - Freddie hurt my feelings.

97. - What'd you say to Gibby?

98. - It's all my mom's fault.

99. Don't you think she's a lunatic?

100. - Totally.

101. You know she's outside

102. in her car waiting for you?

103. - Let her wait.

104. - There you go.

105. - Where I go?

106. - Your mom pushes you around

107. and treats you like a baby

108. 'cause you let her.

109. - Well no more.

110. She's gonna have to deal

111. with the fact

112. that I'm a man now.

113. - Man?

114. - Yo-dee-yo-dee-yo.

115. Look at Sammy's wad of cash.

116. Admire the wad.

117. - Whoa.

118. - How much money is that?

119. - Guess. Here's a hint.

120. - 350?

121. - 360.

122. - Where'd it come from?

123. - These are deposits.

124. People wanna pay us

125. to makeover their pets

126. and take pics of 'em

127. like we did on iCarly.

128. - So, are we gonna do it?

129. - Why not?

130. - Heck, yeah. View the wad.

131. - MRS. Freddie!

132. - Uh-oh.

133. - Enter the dragon.

134. - I have been waiting outside

135. for nine and a half minutes.

136. - So?

137. - MRS.So?

138. When you were ready to be born,

139. did I keep you waiting?

140. - Yes, you were pregnant with me

141. for 11 months.

142. - I wanted to make sure

143. you were done.

144. - Mrs. Benson,

145. you're kind of drawing a crowd.

146. - Oh, are you all

147. Freddie's friends?

148. - No, no, mom.

149. They're not all my friends.

150. - Who wants to see

151. his baby pictures?

152. - I do.

153. - I've got a bunch on my phone.

154. - Mrs. Benson...

155. - Mom, do not show them—

156. - Here's Freddie

157. wearing his special diapers.

158. Oh, and here's baby Freddie

159. in the bathtub.

160. - I'm out!

161. - Pig, right there. Okay.

162. Excuse me, I need to—

163. I'm sorry.

164. I just need to get through here,

165. I'm sorry.

166. Excuse me, I gotta—

167. - So, basically,

168. we offer three packages.

169. The deluxe package...

170. Okay, over here.

171. - ... five by seven,

172. and a three by five.

173. - Dude, what-up

174. with all the animals?

175. - I know, our pet photography

176. business is blowin' up.

177. Okay, over here.

178. Right here.

179. That's so good.

180. - Carly, I gotta talk to you.

181. - What? I'm kinda busy.

182. - I didn't realize

183. your pet photography thing

184. was gonna be this big

185. a production.

186. - And I told you

187. we were gonna do—

188. - Hey, feel my hand.

189. - It's wet and warm.

190. - I know. The puppy peed on it.

191. - Ew, why did you ask me

192. to touch it?

193. - Hello.

194. - Excuse us.

195. - Everyone who does not live

196. or work here,

197. please step into the hallway.

198. - Into the hallway, please.

199. - Let's go.

200. Go on.

201. Now, out there.

202. Run along.

203. - Thank you.

204. - All right,

205. go, go, go, go, go.

206. - Um, you guys can't just cut

207. in front of everyone else.

208. - Hush, please.

209. - Hey, what kinda cat—

210. - Distance!

211. - Look, if you guys want us

212. to take pics of your cat,

213. you're gonna have to go—

214. - We don't need you

215. to take pictures of Harmoo.

216. - Harmoo?

217. - So, you all decided to open up

218. a little

219. pet photography business.

220. - Yeah.

221. - Well, stop it.

222. - Right now.

223. - Okay, who are you—

224. - My name is Stewart Butler.

225. - I'm Oliver Pazely.

226. - We're, the petographers.

227. - So? You're photographers?

228. - Pet...

229. - ... ographers.

230. - Pet.

231. - Pet.

232. We have

233. the most prestigious

234. pet photography studio

235. in Seattle.

236. - And we're not going

237. to let some children roon it.

238. - Do you mean "ruin"?

239. - That's what I said.

240. - No, "ruin" has two syllables.

241. - I say "roon".

242. - Well get outta here

243. before I roon your face.

244. - Hey, remember aunt Margaret?

245. Instead of "window",

246. she used to say "winder".

247. "Spencer, open that 'winder'."

248. She's dead now.

249. She fell out a "winder."

250. I'm kidding,

251. she had a heart attack.

252. Go on?

253. - Who says there can't be

254. two pet photography businesses

255. in Seattle?

256. - Uh, I think we did.

257. Did we not?

258. - We did.

259. - See?

260. - You guys can't just

261. walk in here

262. and force us

263. to shut down our business.

264. - So you want things

265. to get ugly?

266. - Things got ugly

267. when you walked in the room.

268. - You've been warned.

269. - Whoa.

270. They backed out of the room.

271. Hey, Mrs. Benson.

272. - I'm here to get Freddie.

273. - Oh, he crashed on our couch.

274. Ah, maybe you oughtta

275. just let him sleep.

276. - But it's been three weeks.

277. - Three weeks?

278. - Ever since Freddie was born,

279. I de-waxed his ears

280. on every third Friday,

281. which was yesterday.

282. But he refused to let me.

283. - Well, you know teenagers

284. and their ears.

285. - All right. I'll just go then.

286. - Mom!

287. You tried to vacuum my ear

288. while I was sleeping?

289. - Please let me finish.

290. - No, you treat me like a child

291. and I'm not gonna put up with it

292. anymore.

293. - What does that mean?

294. - I'm moving out!

295. - MRS. Freddie!

296. Freddie!

297. - This is fantastic.

298. - Okay,

299. that was too much fun.

300. - I know, I would go ice skating

301. every night.

302. - Except now we can't

303. because we've been banned

304. from The Frozen Oval.

305. - It's not my fault.

306. That big dude

307. kept bumpin' into me.

308. - So you had to jack-slap him

309. in front of his kids?

310. - Okay, how 'bout

311. a little snackage?

312. I could make spaghetti tac...

313. - Get 'em, Spencer! Get 'em!

314. Get off me!

315. Get it off my face!

316. - Are you okay?

317. - You all right?

318. - Get Harmoo!

319. Are you okay?

320. Yeah.

321. Where are they?

322. Where?

323. - Why were they here?

324. - Our studio!

325. - Oh!

326. Hurry!

327. I bet I know who did this.

328. - So, what do you want us

329. to do?

330. - What do we want you to do?

331. - We want you to arrest

332. the petographers

333. for vandalizing our studio.

334. - But taze them first.

335. - Yeah, taze them hard.

336. - What-up with your face?

337. - I told you,

338. their possessed cat attacked me.

339. - Harmoo? He's just a pussycat.

340. - No, he is not just a—

341. - Wait, how do you know

342. their cat's name?

343. - Are you friends

344. with those guys?

345. - I know them.

346. They took some very nice photos

347. of my daughter's bunny for free.

348. - Why didn't they charge you?

349. - 'Cause I'm a cop,

350. and the petographers

351. don't charge cops.

352. - Oh, so that means

353. they can just break

354. into our apartment,

355. trash the place,

356. and you don't even care?

357. - Watch the attitude.

358. I haven't forgotten

359. about "Pee on Carl."

360. Here.

361. - You're giving me a ticket?

362. - Yes.

363. That vehicle

364. has no license plate.

365. - It's a prop.

366. - So are you.

367. Show us out, please.

368. - He called me a prop.

369. - So are they gonna go arrest

370. Stewart and Ollie?

371. No.

372. - The cops are all buddy-buddy

373. with them.

374. - A total chiz.

375. So now what?

376. - Well, we're not gonna quit

377. and let those prune-pops win.

378. We gotta fix this place back up

379. and keep taking pet pics.

380. - My mom eats prune-pops.

381. - Even if we do

382. fix everything,

383. what's gonna stop

384. Stewart and Ollie

385. from coming back

386. and trashing the place again?

387. - Well, we could set up

388. our pet photography studio

389. in my new apartment.

390. Mm-hmm.

391. - Welcome to casa del Fred-o.

392. - This is where you live?

393. - Yep, it's all mine.

394. You like it?

395. - Uh-huh, yeah.

396. - Sure.

397. - And I'm sure

398. it'll be really nice

399. after you paint it,

400. hang some curtains.

401. - Move to a new place

402. that's less disgusting.

403. Sam.

404. - I don't care what she says.

405. Lewbert rented me this place

406. for only a hundred bucks

407. a month,

408. and now my mom can't—

409. - It's all right!

410. That happens whenever somebody

411. uses the elevator.

412. - Hey, there's no bathroom

413. in here.

414. - There's a sink.

415. - We can't run

416. a pet photography business

417. out of this dump.

418. Let's just rebuild it

419. in the iCarly studio.

420. - So the petographers

421. can come trash it again?

422. - They won't leave us alone.

423. - They will if we teach them a.

424. - What do you mean?

425. - They hit us,

426. we hit them back, harder.

427. That's the Seattle way.

428. - You mean we trash

429. their studio?

430. - No, Freddie,

431. I mean we rub ourselves

432. with sweet mustard

433. and sing show tunes.

434. - I just wanted to confirm

435. what you were saying

436. so there wasn't

437. any kind of conf—

438. - Wow, you can actually feel

439. the awkward.

440. - Hello, Freddie.

441. I didn't realize

442. you'd have women here.

443. I brought you a prune-pop.

444. - Please, don't try to talk me

445. into moving back in with you.

446. - Oh, I won't.

447. Actually, I think

448. living on your own

449. will be a positive thing

450. for you.

451. Perhaps you'll even—

452. You get up to your room

453. this instant, Freddie Benson!

454. I am your mother

455. and you will do as I say!

456. - No.

457. - I blame you.

458. - What, me?

459. - You're the one who got Freddie

460. interested in girls,

461. and ever since then

462. his boy-chemistry's

463. been all out of whack.

464. - Mom, I'm perfectly in whack.

465. I think you should go.

466. - No, I'm sorry,

467. I have to leave.

468. And when you realize

469. you can't handle

470. living on your own,

471. you may come home,

472. where I'll be waiting for you

473. with a big steaming bowl

474. of I-told-you-so.

475. - I'm not coming home.

476. I live here now.

477. - Eat this prune-pop!

478. - I don't want that prune-pop.

479. - Goodbye!

480. - And we're in.

481. - Wow, 17 seconds.

482. - That's her personal best.

483. - Whoa. Nice studio.

484. - These poo-tographers

485. must make a fortune.

486. Alright, come on.

487. Let's get destructive.

488. Got spray paint for Carly,

489. hammer for Freddie—

490. - Yeah.

491. —and a big old baseball bat

492. for momma.

493. Let's get wrecking.

494. - Wait.

495. I'm nervous.

496. - Why?

497. - This is my first vandalism.

498. - It's easy.

499. - Oh, what have you

500. ever vandalized?

501. - Stewart and Ollie!

502. - What?

503. - They're here!

504. They're coming in!

505. - Don't surrender, hide.

506. - Come on.

507. - Maybe the best dinner

508. I've ever had.

509. - That tuna carpaccio?

510. - Like being kissed by a fish.

511. - I know.

512. - All right, your highness,

513. you get comfy

514. on your kitty pillow,

515. and I'm gonna make myself

516. a hot cup of blue tea.

517. - Abort.

518. - We gotta get outta here.

519. - After we trash the place.

520. - Sam!

521. - We'll get caught. Come on.

522. - Go! Run!

523. You see Sam yet?

524. Nope.

525. Sam!

526. - Where have you been?

527. - I needed to pick something up

528. on the way home.

529. - You kidnapped Harmoo?

530. - How great am I?

531. - So now what?

532. - We send Stewart and Ollie

533. an e-mail.

534. - That says...?

535. - "If you want Harmoo back,

536. "you better come clean up

537. our studio tomorrow

538. and never bother us again."

539. - Let's call the police.

540. - No!

541. It says: "If you call the cops,

542. we shave the cat."

543. - Spencer, wake up.

544. Spencer.

545. - No, Harmoo, don't bite that.

546. Dude.

547. What are—what are you doing?

548. - Is it okay if I sleep here?

549. - What's wrong

550. with your new apartment?

551. - I'm scared to sleep there

552. by myself.

553. - You're too old to be scared.

554. Anyway, why don't you

555. just go back home with your mom?

556. - No, if I do that

557. she'll never stop treating me

558. like a five-year-old.

559. - All right.

560. You can sleep on the chair.

561. - Thanks.

562. Wait, how come you're sleeping

563. on the couch?

564. - I dunno.

565. - What's wrong with your room?

566. - Nothing.

567. Well, then why aren't—

568. - I saw a spider in there!

569. - Goodnight.

570. Goodnight.

571. - I need to report

572. a missing little boy.

573. He's 15.

574. Well, that's little to me.

575. Uh, he's about 5 foot—

576. Wait, the chip.

577. I forgot I chipped him.

578. - Mom?

579. Freddie!

580. Are you broken?

581. - I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

582. - Oh, I was so worried.

583. I came in

584. first thing this morning and—

585. - I'm fine.

586. - Please move back.

587. I need my little Fredward

588. at home where he belongs.

589. - Promise not to embarrass me

590. in public anymore?

591. - Cross my heart.

592. - Unlock all the channels

593. on my tv?

594. - Not the nature network.

595. - Mom?

596. - But the elephants,

597. with their—

598. - Mom.

599. - All right. Oh!

600. - There.

601. Your studio is exactly

602. how we found it.

603. - Spic and span.

604. All right?

605. Now where is our beloved Harmoo?

606. - Are you guys

607. gonna leave us alone?

608. - Yes!

609. - Get the cat.

610. - Who left Harmoo

611. in my bathroom?

612. Us.

613. We did.

614. I didn't know

615. he was in there.

616. I opened the door

617. and he attacked my face again.

618. - Hi, Freddie.

619. - Where's Harmoo now?

620. - I don't know.

621. He jumped out the window

622. and ran across the ledge.

623. - On the ledge?

624. What?

625. Freddie can see Harmoo

626. out his window!

627. Oh, no.

628. - Get over here.

629. - Is he out there?

630. - Is Harmoo all right?

631. - Yeah, he's just chilling

632. on the ledge.

633. - There he is.

634. Harmoo! Harmoo!

635. Why are you acting out?

636. - He's usually

637. so well-behaved.

638. Well-behaved?

639. Every time he sees me

640. he sinks his claws into my face.

641. No. No.

642. All right, move.

643. - Be careful.

644. - Yeah, sure.

645. - Don't startle Harmoo.

646. - Hey, guess what?

647. - What?

648. - Shut up.

649. Here, Harmoo.

650. Look, Harmoo,

651. my face is all vulnerable.

652. - Closer.

653. - You're almost there.

654. Here, kitty, kitty—

655. - He's safe!

656. - Let's leave!

657. - Great meeting you guys!

658. Come on, man.

659. Get up.

660. - Get up.

661. Okay, ready?

662. - Go.

663. - What do you do

664. if your foot catches on fire?

665. - Go to iCarly.com.

666. - Correct.

667. What do you do if a bear

668. swallows your little brother?

669. - Go to iCarly.com.

670. - Yes.

671. What do you

672. if you can't find your pants?

673. - Go to iCarly.com.

674. - Good girl.

675. What do you do if a bear

676. catches on fire

677. then swallows your pants?

678. - Go to iCarly.com.

679. - Exactly.

680. What do you do—

681. - Go to iCarly.com.

682. - How did you know?

683. - Had a feeling.

684. - Hmm. Wanna get

685. some chicken wings?

686. - Yup.

687. Mmm!