iCarly 3x3

Directed by Russ Reinsel

Boogie as T-Bo • Noah Munck as Gibby Gibson • Kevin Fonteyne as Austin • Skyler Day as Magic Malika • Ethan Munck as 5-Year-Old Gibby

When Carly has trouble finding a date to a dance, Sam asks for Seattle-area boys to apply to be her date. When the gang is overwhelmed by the amount of boys who show up, they hold a speed-dating session. Meanwhile, Carly convinces Sam to ask Gibby to the dance since no one else did, but Sam becomes enraged when Gibby turns her down. Carly finally finds a boy, whom after the dance, she dumps for being so talkative. In the end, Carly and Freddie share a dance together at the Groovy Smoothie, which Sam walks in on. Upon seeing them, she silently leaves.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Attention.

2. All students attending

3. the Girls' Choice Dance

4. must submit

5. their medical records

6. to Nurse Bogart.

7. Thank you.

8. - Hey, Nate.

9. - Oh, hi.

10. - So, you know,

11. the Girl's Choice Dance.

12. - Right.

13. - You...

14. wanna go with me, possibly?

15. - Ah...

16. - Did I just spit in your eye?

17. - It's cool.

18. - No, it's not cool.

19. I spit in your eye.

20. - No worries.

21. But anyway, sorry,

22. Rebecca Berkowitz

23. already asked me to the dance.

24. - Oh.

25. I hear she's a lotta fun.

26. - Yeah.

27. - Yeah.

28. Well, enjoy her.

29. - Did you ask him?

30. Yes.

31. - And?

32. - No.

33. - Why'd he say no?

34. - Well, he claims

35. it's 'cause

36. he already has a date,

37. but it might be

38. 'cause I hocked a loogie

39. right in his eye.

40. - You... why would you even—

41. - I don't know.

42. It just flew off my lip.

43. - Well, who ya gonna ask now?

44. - No one.

45. There's no other guys in this

46. school I wanna go out with.

47. - Hey.

48. Hey.

49. - And speakin' of guys

50. Carly doesn't wanna

51. go out with...

52. Ladies and gentlemen,

53. Fredamame Benson.

54. - Girls who are rude to me

55. don't get a bag of bacon.

56. - Whoa, Freddie,

57. I never realized

58. what a hot, handsome

59. hunk a boy you really are.

60. - Better. So what's up?

61. - Carly spit in Nate's eye,

62. so he doesn't wanna go

63. to the dance with her.

64. - Huh?

65. - He turned me down

66. 'cause he already has a date.

67. - So you didn't spit

68. in his eye?

69. - No, I did,

70. my DNA's all over his cornea.

71. And why are we all

72. focused on me?

73. Sam doesn't have

74. a date yet either.

75. - Yeah, 'cause

76. Girl's Choice Dances are stupid.

77. If a guy wants a date

78. with momma, he should ask me.

79. And pay for it.

80. Or he can just give me the money

81. and stay out of my life.

82. - Wow.

83. - Well, there's no guys

84. at this school that don't make

85. me sick.

86. This is good bacon.

87. Any desperate girls ask you yet?

88. Actually,

89. two, Jamie and Ariana.

90. - So which one

91. are you goin' with?

92. - I haven't given either one

93. an answer yet.

94. In case someone else

95. wants to ask me?

96. - Nooo.

97. - Yeeaaah.

98. - Hi, Freddie.

99. - Hmmm. Hi, Malika.

100. You guys know Malika.

101. - Uh-huh.

102. - Hi, Malika.

103. - Who wants to see

104. a magic trick?

105. - Later.

106. - Bye, Malika.

107. - Um, I should really get to—

108. - A blank piece of paper!

109. I wad.

110. - Look, I really—

111. - I toss.

112. - Whoa.

113. That's pretty good.

114. - Feel inside your pocket.

115. Un-wad.

116. - "Will you go to the dance

117. with me?"

118. - Will ya?

119. - Um, a couple other girls

120. already asked me,

121. and I'm not sure yet—

122. - Well, think about choosing me

123. if you wanna have

124. a magical night.

125. Gibby?

126. How did you...

127. - I—I have no idea.

128. Whose banana is this?

129. In five,

130. four, three, two...

131. - I'm home!

132. Hey!

133. Come check out the new sculpture

134. I'm workin' on.

135. Cool. What is it?

136. - I don't know yet!

137. It's either gonna be a bunny

138. or an abstract representation

139. of the over-mechanization

140. of modern society.

141. - I like bunnies.

142. - Then I'll need

143. some cotton balls.

144. So how was school?

145. - Okay.

146. Except Nate Garner

147. turned me down

148. for the Girl's Choice Dance.

149. - Yeah, I heard

150. you spit in his eye.

151. - How did you know that?

152. - I follow iCarly.

153. - Sam tweeted it?

154. - Uh-huh.

155. - Aww! I can't believe she told

156. the entire world

157. that I spit...

158. - Just a sec.

159. Squat thrusts.

160. - Squat thrusts.

161. - What are you doing?

162. - Squattin' and thrustin'.

163. I got a new application

164. for my Pear Phone.

165. See, doctors say you should get

166. at least thirty minutes

167. of aerobic exercise every day.

168. And done. Oh.

169. - You're done?

170. - For now.

171. - But you just said

172. thirty minutes.

173. - That's what's so cool

174. about this application.

175. It beeps 180 times a day

176. and every time it does,

177. I do 10 seconds

178. of vigorous exercise

179. so that by the end of the day,

180. I'll have done

181. a full thirty-minute workout.

182. Uh-huh.

183. - Can't you just join a gym?

184. - I can't go to a gym a hundred

185. and eighty times a day.

186. Stupid.

187. - It's me. Don't shoot.

188. Hey, Sam.

189. - You're in trouble.

190. - Who has urine trouble?

191. No, you tweeted

192. about me spitting in Nate's eye.

193. It was a totally

194. tweet-worthy event.

195. Maybe,

196. but I'd appreciate it

197. if you didn't tweet

198. about my personal spit.

199. - Aw, you're just crotchety

200. 'cause you don't have a date

201. for Girl's Choice.

202. - Which gives me

203. the right to be crotchety.

204. - Well, buck up,

205. 'cause I got a way to find

206. an awesome guy for you to ask.

207. - Oh, really?

208. - We do a contest on iCarly.

209. We say you're looking for

210. a cute guy in the Seattle area

211. to ask to the dance.

212. Interested boys, please apply.

213. - No, that'd make me

214. sound desperate.

215. - Aren't ya?

216. - Yes.

217. But I don't wanna sound it.

218. - Come on, you know,

219. how many guys will wanna

220. take you to the dance—

221. - I'm not using iCarly

222. to beg for boys.

223. I'd rather be alone

224. and crotchety.

225. - Crotchety, it's funny

226. 'cause it sounds wrong.

227. - Me!

228. - Pardon me, father.

229. Aah.

230. Can't you see

231. I'm knitting myself

232. a pair of trousers?

233. But we're ever so hungry.

234. - You haven't fed us

235. a bite of food

236. since last tyoosday.

237. - I think it was myun-day.

238. - Oh, oh.

239. - You want food?

240. Very well.

241. Hyah!

242. Father,

243. these are push pins.

244. - They're colorful and pointy.

245. You ungrateful nuggets!

246. Now floss my toes.

247. - No!

248. - Augh!

249. - Ha, ha, ha, ha!

250. - Father.

251. - Floss them!

252. - I think I might vomit.

253. - Okay, that's all

254. for this iCarly.

255. - Actually, no it's not.

256. - What are you—

257. - I wanna do somethin'

258. real quick.

259. Before we end this show,

260. Carly is gonna sit

261. in this chair.

262. - For the record,

263. I have no idea what she's doing.

264. - Just sit tight.

265. - Freddie?

266. - I don't know.

267. - And now... duct tape.

268. - What what, no, no,

269. whoa, whoa, whoa, don't—

270. Oh, just relaaaax.

271. Listen up, iCarly fans.

272. If you're a guy

273. who's not a loser

274. and you live here

275. in the Seattle area,

276. and you'd like to go to a dance

277. with Carly...

278. - Just send us an e-mail

279. - Mmmnnn! Mnnnn!

280. - Come on!

281. Who wouldn't wanna go out

282. with this?

283. Sam, come here!

284. You're gonna get it!

285. - Oh, am I?

286. Yes.

287. I can't believe you did that.

288. - I was trying to help you.

289. - I told you I didn't wanna use

290. iCarly to beg for boys!

291. You went too far this time!

292. Stop running from me.

293. - Why am I running from you?

294. Okay, you caught me. Now what?

295. - There!

296. - Feel better?

297. - No!

298. I can't believe

299. you embarrassed me like that

300. in front of the whole Web.

301. - Well if you didn't want me

302. to do it,

303. why didn't you say something?

304. - You duct-taped my mouth shut.

305. - Come on, you might meet

306. a really cool, cute guy.

307. - Or a psychopath

308. with a chainsaw.

309. - I have grocery items.

310. - You need a hand with the bags?

311. - Nah, I got 'em.

312. And I hope you guys are hungry

313. 'cause I bought—

314. - Ah, take 'em, take 'em,

315. Wait, no,

316. I'm not really ready— oh, no.

317. V-steps.

318. - V-steps!

319. - You're droppin' stuff.

320. - Oh, whew, ooohhh.

321. And done. Whew!

322. I was feeling

323. pretty whipped there

324. at the seven second mark,

325. but I powered through.

326. I'll put the groceries away.

327. - I'm gonna go

328. throw fat cakes at joggers.

329. - Noooo, you're not.

330. - They're low-fat fat cakes.

331. - If I'm gonna go to the dance

332. with some iCarly contest winner,

333. then you're asking Gibby to go.

334. Come on, Gibby's so sweet.

335. - Well, then maybe some other

336. insane chick already asked him.

337. - No, he told Freddie

338. he's not going and I feel bad.

339. - So then

340. why don't you ask him?

341. - I was thinking about it

342. till you went and committed me

343. to going with some random

344. iCarly fan-dude.

345. - But I really don't wanna go.

346. - C'mon, just please ask Gibby.

347. Please?

348. - All right.

349. Awww! Already?

350. Windmills.

351. - Windmills.

352. - Aww!

353. I'm so bummed.

354. - What's wrong?

355. Besides this.

356. - I'm not in the mood, Puckett.

357. I waited too long.

358. Jamie and Ariana both

359. already asked other guys

360. to the dance, so I had

361. to say yes to Magic Malika.

362. Uh,

363. don't you have something to do?

364. You promised Carly

365. you'd ask him.

366. Hurry along.

367. - Gibby!

368. - Hmm.

369. - I wanna talk to you.

370. - What's up?

371. - How would you like to go to

372. the Girl's Choice Dance with me?

373. - Nah, I'm good.

374. - What do you mean,

375. you're good?

376. Who asked you to the dance?

377. - Nobody.

378. - Nobody?

379. - Aahhhh!

380. - Nobody asked you

381. and you just turned me down?

382. - Please don't break

383. my thumbs again.

384. - What are you doing?

385. - I was tryin' to do this boy

386. a favor and he—

387. Nooo.

388. - Aw, see what you did?

389. He got away.

390. - What happened?

391. - I asked him

392. to the stupid dance

393. and he said: "Nah, I'm good."

394. - Did somebody else

395. already ask him?

396. - No.

397. - Not laughing.

398. I'm not laughing.

399. - Whatever.

400. I'm goin' home.

401. - Oh, no you're not.

402. You're coming with us

403. to the Groovy Smoothie

404. to interview all the guys

405. who entered your little

406. Take-Carly-To-The-Dance contest.

407. - Oh, can't you and Carly

408. and Spencer just handle it?

409. - It was your idea.

410. - So? You don't need my help.

411. How many guys do you think

412. are gonna show up?

413. - Seven hundred

414. and fifty two guys?

415. - Hey! So ya see one ya like?

416. - I don't know!

417. It's like

418. one big giant sea of boy.

419. - Okay, I got a plan.

420. - What?

421. - Speed-dating.

422. - Speed-dating?

423. Yeah, we set up

424. one long line that leads to you,

425. and then, each guy gets

426. 15 seconds to impress you.

427. - How can I get to know someone

428. in 15 seconds?

429. - Come on, six of my mom's

430. best relationships

431. started in fifteen seconds.

432. Uh,

433. even at fifteen seconds apiece,

434. it's still gonna take Carly

435. hours to meet this many guys.

436. - Okay, so we set up

437. four tables.

438. Me, you, Carly, and Fredlumps.

439. The three of us

440. pass the decent ones

441. on to Carly,

442. and we eliminate the freaks.

443. We ready?

444. - I guess.

445. - Begin!

446. - Hi, I'm Rick.

447. - Hey, I'm Carly, and listen,

448. I'm really sorry about this.

449. I had no idea Sam was gonna

450. even have this contest

451. and then I thought,

452. you know, maybe 10 or 15 guys

453. would show up here.

454. I had no idea

455. there'd be this many,

456. and I know it's not fair

457. to only give you 15 seconds,

458. but just do your best

459. and we'll see how it goes.

460. - Okay, well—

461. - Whoops sorry, time's up. Next!

462. - Hi, I'm Clark.

463. - Nice to meet you, Clark.

464. So you'd like

465. to take Carly to the dance?

466. - Um, I'd rather

467. just make out with her.

468. - Next!

469. - I'm Kevin.

470. - Freddie.

471. So tell me about you, Kevin.

472. - Well, I collect

473. fishing lures.

474. My bedtime is 9:30

475. and girls usually don't like me

476. because I have an odd odor.

477. - You know, I think

478. you might be perfect for Carly.

479. Next.

480. - And believe me,

481. I never wanted to ask Gibby out,

482. but Carly guilted me into it.

483. So I ask the kid

484. and he turns me down.

485. Gibby turns me down.

486. Like I'm not good enough

487. for that shirtless potato!

488. - Sorry, you bored me. Leave.

489. - Just buy a bell pepper.

490. - No!

491. - Four fifty.

492. - T-bo!

493. - You're a male model?

494. - Well, I was,

495. but I quit modeling

496. 'cause now I'm a lead singer in

497. this really cool band, and we—

498. - Carly would hate you.

499. - But no—

500. - Get out of here!

501. - Wow, so you're an artist?

502. 'Cause I'm—

503. - I have to exercise now.

504. Hip swivel.

505. - Hip swivel!

506. - You taught your grandmother

507. how to ice skate?

508. - Yeah, don't laugh.

509. - Well, I'm laughing.

510. 'Cause I'm trying to imagine

511. my grandfather, like wearing

512. ice skates—

513. You should have seen her.

514. I swear

515. she was goin' faster than I was.

516. - How can an old lady go—

517. - I even taught her how to skate

518. backwards, which was totally—

519. I think my 15 seconds are up.

520. - Oh. Whoops.

521. No they're not.

522. Keep talkin'.

523. - Hey.

524. - Whoa.

525. - Does this look cute?

526. - Yeah, maybe

527. a little too cute.

528. - What do you mean?

529. - Come here. We need to talk.

530. - What about?

531. - Well, okay,

532. you're going to a dance tonight,

533. you know, with a new guy.

534. - Mm-hmm.

535. - So I just think it's time you

536. and I had a little talk about—

537. - I'm not having

538. this conversation.

539. - Thank you so much!

540. - Oh, Austin's here.

541. Hey, Austin.

542. Hey.

543. - Whoa, you look great.

544. - I was just

545. gonna say that to you.

546. - Okay,

547. we're all super-attractive here.

548. So how about a couple of pics?

549. - Okay.

550. - No problem.

551. - One, two, three... Awesome.

552. - Hey, is that a GX-250?

553. - Yep, 16 megapixels.

554. - My dad sent it to him

555. from Japan while he was there—

556. - My brother's got

557. a Dykon super-shot.

558. - Niiice.

559. - I think Freddie has a Dykon—

560. - Hey, we should

561. get to the dance.

562. - Oh. Well, okay.

563. - You guys have fun.

564. - We will.

565. And don't worry, I'll be back—

566. - I'll have her back

567. by midnight.

568. - Don't forget your purse.

569. Get out of here.

570. - Bye.

571. - Bye.

572. - You crazy kids.

573. Sit-ups.

574. - Aw!

575. And done.

576. Who is it?

577. - It's me.

578. Open the door, Gibby.

579. - Hey, Sam. Nice dress.

580. - Thanks.

581. What up with your hair?

582. - Oh.

583. I used a leave-in conditioner.

584. They have that now.

585. - I know.

586. - So whatcha doin' here?

587. - Well, I decided

588. you are taking me to the dance.

589. Come on, let's go.

590. - But I told you

591. I don't wanna go.

592. - Listen, I know

593. I can be a little intimidating,

594. but you don't have to be

595. scared of me, all right?

596. - But—

597. Come on.

598. You don't wanna sit home

599. by yourself and be a loser.

600. Don't you wanna go out?

601. Have a little fun?

602. - Look, I really appreciate

603. you comin' over here and—

604. - How long are you

605. gonna keep me waiting?

606. Who's she?

607. Who's you?

608. - It's cool.

609. She's just a friend.

610. Give me two seconds.

611. - Okay.

612. - Who was that?

613. - Tasha.

614. And you're on a date

615. with her?

616. - Yeah.

617. - Well, what's wrong with her?

618. - Nothin'.

619. Nothing at all.

620. - So why didn't you take

621. Tasha to the dance?

622. - 'Cause it's girl's choice

623. and she doesn't go

624. to our school.

625. Gibby, come on.

626. Your mom just brought us

627. strawberries and whipped cream.

628. - Later.

629. - Mmm, good fries.

630. - I know.

631. Crinkle cut are the best.

632. One time Spencer took me—

633. - Anybody into soccer?

634. - Soccer?

635. - Yeah,

636. this Olympic soccer player

637. from Nigeria just moved in

638. across the street from my house.

639. Pretty awesome.

640. - Yeah.

641. - Freddie, drink your smoothie.

642. - Okay.

643. - That's weird.

644. - The power of magic!

645. - It singed my hair.

646. - Yeah, I mean,

647. that was a pretty cool trick,

648. but don't you think—

649. - One time my parents took me

650. and my brother camping,

651. and we saw bears.

652. - Did you?

653. - Hey, wasn't my phone

654. on the table a minute ago?

655. - Yeah, you set it

656. down right after—

657. - Four bears. Big old paws.

658. Grrrr!

659. - I know I put it right here—

660. - Would that be your phone,

661. up there?

662. - Please put it down.

663. - As you wish.

664. - Well, that hurt.

665. - Oh, my God,

666. it's already past my curfew.

667. - All right, no worries.

668. I'll call my mom

669. and have her pick us up.

670. Freddie.

671. - Yeah?

672. - She's gone.

673. - Best trick of the night.

674. - She really

675. is an amazing magician.

676. Like, back at the dance—

677. - One time I was watching this

678. reality show with celebrities.

679. They had to do stuff

680. under water.

681. - So, as I was saying,

682. I wonder—

683. - You guys ever been to Fresno?

684. - Shut up!

685. - What? I was just—

686. - Shut up, shut up, shut up!

687. What's your deal?

688. - My deal is

689. you haven't let me finish one

690. sentence all night and I can't

691. take it anymore!

692. It's like

693. you won't even let me—

694. - What are you trying to say?

695. - Get out of here!

696. - And then there were two.

697. - Yep.

698. Just us.

699. Thank God.

700. - Not a very fun dance, was it?

701. - Nope.

702. - What?

703. - Don't you think

704. we both deserve

705. one nice dance tonight,

706. with a person

707. we don't wanna kill?

708. - Absolutely.

709. Hey, T-bo.

710. Turn up the music?

711. - Carly told me to tell you guys

712. In fact if you promise me

713. you're gonna go

714. check out iCarly.com,

715. I will magically turn Gibby

716. into a five year old

717. and make him say

718. "I love cheese".

719. Abracadabra

720. 'till you're a five year old.

721. Augh!

722. Say it.

723. - I love cheese.

724. Mmm!