iCarly 3x10

Directed by Larry LaFond

Mary Scheer as Marissa Benson • Noah Munck as Gibby Gibson • Andrew Hill Newman as George (voice) • Joseph Buttler as Mr. Stern • Cazimir Milostan as Delivery Man

Carly, unaware of an oncoming taco truck, is pushed aside by Freddie, who subsequently gets hit. Carly, grateful to Freddie for saving her life, develops an attraction towards him. However, Freddie thinks that this attraction stems from his actions, and not himself, so the two break up but agree that if the whole "hero" thing wears off that if Carly still feels attracted to him they'll try the relationship again. Meanwhile, Sam and Spencer engage in an intense game of assassin.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Boing.

2. Boing.

3. - Boing.

4. - Boing.

5. - Okay.

6. - That's enough boingin'.

7. - Next on iCarly...

8. - It's time to play

9. everyone's favorite game:

10. Okay.

11. - We'll start with...

12. A...

13. - Does a teddy bear

14. make baby happy?

15. - Yeah. Yeah.

16. Teddy bear is good!

17. Baby loves that teddy bear.

18. - Okay. Next, let's see

19. how baby feels about...

20. - This stick of dynamite.

21. - Does baby like the dynamite?

22. - No! No!

23. That is dangerous.

24. Dynamite make baby go boom.

25. Aww.

26. - No!

27. - Hmm, I wonder if baby likes...

28. - Yeah! I like salsa.

29. Ok, there you go.

30. - Yeah.

31. Yummy.

32. - Oh.

33. Okay.

34. Yeah, Yummy.

35. - Oh.

36. - Tasty.

37. - Okay. That's enough.

38. Too much salsa.

39. Okay, next.

40. - We want to introduce you

41. to a super cool chick.

42. - She's what's known

43. as a Creative Breaker.

44. - 'Cause she creatively

45. breaks stuff.

46. - So please, welcome...

47. Tara, Tara, yeah.

48. - So, Tara, you want to break

49. something for us?

50. - Show us a little destruction?

51. - Sure. Music?

52. - Music!

53. - Really nice work.

54. - It was amazing.

55. - Yeah.

56. - You want to break

57. something else?

58. - Like Freddie's arm,

59. Freddie's leg, Freddie's face?

60. - Oh, Sam, if you're

61. in love with me, just say so.

62. - Nyeeeeehhh.

63. - Nyeeeeehhh.

64. - So what made you

65. decide to learn

66. to creatively break things?

67. - I compete in pageants,

68. and you know how they have

69. a talent portion?

70. Well, since I took karate

71. when I was a kid,

72. I decided to use that

73. as my talent.

74. - Interesting.

75. - And isn't the big Miss

76. Teen Seattle pageant next week?

77. - Yeah,

78. but I won't win that one.

79. - Why not?

80. - 'Cause there's this girl,

81. Leanne Carter,

82. who's won 99 pageants in a row,

83. and there's no way

84. I'm gonna beat her.

85. - Well, you got to try!

86. - Sam?

87. - I'll be back.

88. - Well, to fill the

89. awkward moment Sam just created,

90. Tara, you want to feed

91. baby Spencer some more salsa?

92. - Sure.

93. No!

94. - Does baby want more salsa?

95. No!

96. Aww.

97. Baby, there you go.

98. In five,

99. four, three, two...

100. - Hello.

101. - What?

102. - You bailed in the middle

103. of the show.

104. What's your problem?

105. - What makes you think

106. I got a problem?

107. - Well, there's a can opener

108. right there.

109. - And you're stabbing

110. that can of soup

111. with a screwdriver.

112. - Come on, talk.

113. - When I was little,

114. I used to compete

115. in beauty pageants.

116. - Aah. Ow.

117. - Are you okay?

118. - No!

119. There's a lentil in my eye!

120. - Sam.

121. - He snickered.

122. - You apologize.

123. - I'm sorry I blew a lentil

124. in your eye.

125. - Oh, the apology makes it okay?

126. Oh.

127. - You were really

128. a beauty pageant girl?

129. - I didn't want to be,

130. my mom forced me.

131. You know that girl

132. that Tara was talking about?

133. Leanne Carter, the chick

134. who's won 99 pageants in a row?

135. - Yeah.

136. - What about her?

137. - She always beat me.

138. I got second place

139. in 19 stupid pageants.

140. - So you just finally

141. quit competing?

142. - No.

143. I got suspended from pageantry

144. 'cause Leanne fell down

145. a flight of stairs.

146. People thought I pushed her.

147. And now she's gonna be

148. the first girl in history

149. to win a hundred pageants

150. in a row.

151. You enter the pageant!

152. - What? No!

153. - Yes!

154. - You're insane and

155. you're squeezing my shoulders.

156. - Please?

157. - I'm not entering

158. a beauty pageant.

159. - Sam's throwing a tantrum.

160. - I know.

161. - We know.

162. - What happened?

163. Did we run out of bacon?

164. - No.

165. - She's mad 'cause I refuse

166. to enter a beauty pageant.

167. - You know

168. you're gonna give in.

169. - Not this time.

170. In five, four,

171. three, two...

172. - All right,

173. I'll be in the stupid pageant!

174. - Yay!

175. Bring me my soup.

176. - I'm gonna make some

177. of my special lemonade.

178. Anybody want some?

179. Eww.

180. - No, gross.

181. - So, Fred man,

182. you got plans for next

183. Saturday night?

184. - Just making cashew butter

185. with my mom.

186. - Cancel that

187. 'cause you and me are going

188. on a double date, baby.

189. Double date.

190. - With who?

191. - Okay, you know that girl

192. I've been going out with?

193. - The one—

194. - Yeah—

195. No, not that one.

196. Her name is Alison

197. and we made a date

198. to go rock climbing

199. next Saturday night

200. but then she tried to cancel

201. 'cause her 15-year-old cousin,

202. Leslie,

203. is coming to stay with her.

204. So I said: "Well,

205. what if I happen to know

206. "a delightfully awkward

207. 15-year-old dude

208. who'd love to go rock climbing

209. with Leslie?",

210. and she said: "That'd be sweet",

211. so you're going.

212. - Nuh-uh.

213. - Why not?

214. - 'Cause I don't go on dates

215. with girls I've never met.

216. - Well, no girl you have met

217. is gonna go on a date with you.

218. - Come on, Alison said Leslie

219. is cute and fun and nice.

220. - I don't do blind dates.

221. - Spencer, I'm not gonna be...

222. - In five, four, three, two...

223. - Okay!

224. - Yay!

225. - You got it on?

226. Yes.

227. - Well, let's see it,

228. get out here.

229. - How does it look?

230. - Hot.

231. That dress

232. is beauty pageant gold.

233. It just needs

234. a couple of things.

235. Here.

236. - What are these?

237. - You stuff them in your bra.

238. - Gross! No!

239. - Come on,

240. it's a beauty pageant.

241. - Yeah, a beauty pageant,

242. not a booby pageant.

243. Where did you even buy these?

244. - Instaboobs.com.

245. - Well, return them.

246. - I can't,

247. my mom wore 'em last night.

248. All right, you're ready to learn

249. how to handle

250. the hardest part

251. of the beauty pageant?

252. - What is it?

253. - Answering the question.

254. The reason I always lost

255. to Leanne.

256. - Why is answering a question

257. so hard?

258. - 'Cause the way they all sound

259. sweet and smart and perfect.

260. Want to see how I use to do it

261. when I was little?

262. - Yeah.

263. - Check this out.

264. Well, I believe

265. that school is very boring

266. and that many teachers

267. are fat and lazy.

268. - Oh, my God.

269. I can't believe you said that.

270. - Neither could the judges.

271. They don't want honesty.

272. All they wanna hear about

273. is ending world hunger

274. for the children.

275. Wanna practice?

276. - Let's do it.

277. - Now, Carly,

278. what are your thoughts

279. about America's dependence

280. on foreign oil?

281. - Well, America's dependence

282. on foreign oil

283. is definitely an issue,

284. but I feel

285. that if we all work together,

286. we can end world hunger.

287. - For the children.

288. - For the children.

289. - Hey, what are you doing

290. with that thing?

291. - I got it

292. at the Galaxy Wars convention.

293. Check this out.

294. - Dude, not cool.

295. We have girls coming here.

296. Put it away.

297. - Okay.

298. - Wait. Wait.

299. Let me hold it.

300. That is awesome!

301. Well, hello, ladies.

302. We were not just playing

303. with a hand laser

304. from Galaxy Wars.

305. Won't you come in?

306. - Hi.

307. - Alison, this is bud Freddie.

308. - Hi.

309. - Hi.

310. - And this is Leslie.

311. - Nice to meet you.

312. How is it going?

313. - Okay, who's ready to go

314. indoor rock climbing?

315. - I couldn't get us

316. a climb time till 8:30.

317. - Oh, well, no worries.

318. - We can kill a half hour here.

319. - Oh, my God.

320. You have "What am I?",

321. I love this game.

322. My buddy Socko bought me that,

323. but I've never played it.

324. - It's awesome, everybody

325. puts a card on their forehead

326. and you ask yes or no questions

327. and try to figure out

328. what you are.

329. It sounds fun.

330. - Let's play.

331. - I'll get

332. the low-cal cream soda.

333. Let me get this.

334. Thanks.

335. - I'll be here.

336. Okay.

337. - Okay, so we just put

338. these bands around our heads?

339. - Mm-hmm. Okay.

340. Now, everyone, pick a card

341. but don't look at it.

342. Just put it on your forehead.

343. - Okidoki.

344. On our foreheads.

345. Alison, you start.

346. - Um, am I an animal?

347. - No.

348. - Nuh-uh.

349. Your turn, Leslie.

350. - Um, am I something

351. you can drink?

352. - Not really.

353. You would choke to death.

354. - Okay. Freddie, you go.

355. - Okay, am I something

356. you could buy at a store?

357. - Yes.

358. - You can?

359. - Yeah, they have duck stores.

360. - Oh, dude.

361. - Oh. Sorry.

362. - The smells

363. of a beauty pageant,

364. hairspray and desperation.

365. I wonder if anyone here

366. is gonna remember me.

367. - Mom, Mom, Mom.

368. Samantha Puckett.

369. - I think they remember you.

370. - Come on,

371. let's get you dolled up.

372. There she is, there she is,

373. there she is.

374. - That's Leanne Carter?

375. - Don't say her name.

376. She's a monster.

377. - Samantha?

378. - Yeah, yeah. Hi, Leanne.

379. - Oh, my God.

380. I didn't expect to see you here.

381. - I'm her friend Carly.

382. - I know.

383. I watch iCarly on the web.

384. It is so awesome.

385. - Who asked your opinion?

386. - She is so funny.

387. Are you competing tonight?

388. - No, I'm still banned

389. 'cause you fell down

390. some stairs.

391. - I know. I'm so clumsy.

392. - So I hear you're going

393. for your hundredth straight

394. pageant win tonight?

395. - Well, I'm gonna try.

396. - Yeah, well,

397. good luck beating Carly.

398. She's got mad pageant skills.

399. - Well, then it's an honor

400. to compete against you.

401. - Oh, jam it, Leanne!

402. She kills me.

403. - You said she was nauseating

404. and she's totally nice.

405. - "Nice" nauseates me.

406. It's taken me years

407. to get used to you.

408. - Well, I can tell you

409. right now,

410. there's no way

411. I'm gonna beat that girl.

412. - Yes, you are.

413. Go put on your evening gown.

414. I'll go sign you in.

415. - Okay.

416. - Samantha Puckett?

417. - Christopher?

418. - I thought you were in prison.

419. - It was Juvie.

420. - You're not competing tonight,

421. are you?

422. - No. Don't you remember?

423. I got banned for seven years.

424. - Right, but that was

425. seven and a half years ago.

426. - Wait.

427. So you're saying I'm eligible

428. to compete in the pageant?

429. - Are you carrying any weapons?

430. - No.

431. - Yes, you're eligible

432. to compete in the pageant.

433. Help us.

434. - Wait. Give me that dress!

435. All pageant girls

436. report to the main staging area

437. in 12 minutes.

438. All pageant girls

439. report to the main staging area

440. in 12 minutes.

441. - Hurry!

442. - A dress will only come off

443. so fast!

444. - Here, I'll help you.

445. - No, no.

446. - Take that thing off.

447. Give me that thing.

448. If you get that thing,

449. it'll be okay.

450. Just up and over.

451. - And thanks for being gentle.

452. - You're not mad at me,

453. are you?

454. - Why? Just 'cause

455. you threw a hissy fit

456. and forced me

457. to enter a beauty pageant

458. and made me go through

459. nine hours of pageant training

460. for nothing?

461. - I need the shoes.

462. - Give me a sec. No! Oh!

463. I need one!

464. Give me the other one!

465. There you go.

466. I've got it. I've got it.

467. Ta-da.

468. I feel hot.

469. - I feel violated.

470. - Samantha, I just heard

471. that you are competing tonight.

472. - Yeah.

473. Afraid you're not gonna get

474. your hundredth straight win?

475. - You know what?

476. For me,

477. it's just fun to be here.

478. - That tears it.

479. - Sam! Sam—

480. - Do great tonight.

481. - Don't tell me what to do.

482. - Am I something you can wear?

483. - Totally.

484. - Yes, you are.

485. - Am I pants?

486. - Bingo.

487. - Yeah.

488. - Whoo.

489. - Straight up.

490. - Yeah, Leslie won.

491. Can we go rock climbing now?

492. - No.

493. No.

494. - We all got to guess

495. what our forehead say.

496. Freddie, your turn.

497. - Okay.

498. Am I a subatomic particle?

499. - That's just a bad question.

500. - No.

501. - Yeah, that would never be

502. in one of these cards.

503. Yeah.

504. Come on—

505. - My name is Leanne Carter.

506. I'm from Tacoma,

507. and I spend my free time

508. volunteering at animal shelters.

509. - My name is Danica McNoltey

510. I'm from Yakima,

511. and I enjoy reading

512. to special needs kids.

513. - Shh. Shh. Shh.

514. This one's mine.

515. - My name is Samantha Puckett

516. and I'm from Seattle,

517. and I love fried chicken.

518. - It's true.

519. She does, she loves chicken.

520. You did great.

521. - No, I was off balance

522. when I turned to walk off.

523. - No one will notice that.

524. - I'm feeling all anxious now.

525. Where's my purse?

526. - Here, here.

527. You keep fried chicken

528. in your purse?

529. - It's my emergency thigh.

530. Coming up next,

531. the question and answer round,

532. followed by

533. the talent competition.

534. - The talent competition,

535. what are you gonna do?

536. - I'll just sing the song

537. you were gonna sing.

538. - Do you know the words?

539. - No, teach me.

540. - Where did you put

541. the lyric sheet?

542. - In my purse.

543. - Are these ribs?

544. - I can't eat chicken

545. all the time.

546. - Okay, okay. Am I large?

547. - Yes!

548. Well, yes and no. Define large.

549. - Large, big.

550. - Yes!

551. Wait, define big.

552. - Dude.

553. - Well, big is a relative term.

554. - Spencer?

555. - Like a AA battery is big

556. to a lady bug.

557. - Right, but...

558. - We've already missed

559. our climb time.

560. - Great, then we can

561. finish the game.

562. - Yeah.

563. - Can't we at least eat dinner?

564. - Yeah, I'm starving.

565. - There, bon appetit.

566. - Fiber Nuts?

567. - It's a quality cereal.

568. - Yeah.

569. Okay, yes, you're big.

570. - Okay. Am I Texas?

571. - No!

572. - Oh!

573. - Answering the next question

574. will be Samantha Puckett.

575. - What goes on.

576. - Samantha,

577. there's been much talk

578. in recent years

579. about global warming.

580. What is your position

581. and what do you think

582. we, as Americans,

583. should do?

584. - Just say

585. we should end world hunger.

586. - Well, you see, Dave,

587. with a topic

588. like global warming,

589. most of the idiots out there

590. don't know what the chiz

591. they're talking about.

592. What do you say

593. we all work together

594. to end world hunger?

595. - For the children.

596. - Wonderful.

597. - Can I be spread or squirted?

598. - You got to pick

599. one or the other.

600. - Can I be squirted?

601. - Yes.

602. - Am I a waffle?

603. - No, you don't squirt waffles.

604. - You guys wanna go out or not?

605. - Hey, you took your card

606. off your forehead

607. before you guessed

608. what you were.

609. - That's against the rules.

610. Come on, my turn.

611. Am I a gas?

612. - No, you're big.

613. Gases aren't big.

614. - You guys wanna make out

615. with us?

616. - A gas can occupy a big space.

617. - Yeah,

618. but the gas itself isn't big.

619. My turn.

620. Am I a fruit?

621. - On what planet

622. are there squirtable fruits?

623. - A planet I wanna live on.

624. - Oh, man,

625. she's killing it out there

626. with her stupid saxophone.

627. - Then you better let me

628. teach you the song.

629. - We don't have enough time.

630. - There she is.

631. - Ernie! What...

632. - Samantha Puckett.

633. I've never thought I'd see you

634. at another pageant.

635. - I'm back.

636. - I see that.

637. How's your mom?

638. - Still the worst.

639. - Right.

640. - Oh, Carly this is Ernie.

641. He used to be my dance coach

642. when I was

643. a little pageant girl.

644. - Hey.

645. - Nice to meet you.

646. - I didn't know you could dance.

647. - Puckett?

648. Best little dancer

649. I ever worked with.

650. - Ah, it's true.

651. Performing next

652. in the talent competition,

653. Samantha Puckett.

654. - You're gonna have to dance.

655. - I don't know.

656. It's been almost eight years.

657. Do you remember

658. the train station routine?

659. - Don't insult me.

660. - Be my partner?

661. - Come on.

662. - Kill it, Sam.

663. - Do you have any more ribs?

664. - Beef or pork?

665. - Ladies and gentlemen,

666. dancing with her former coach,

667. I give you, Samantha Puckett.

668. - Yeah!

669. - Am I a balloon?

670. - No.

671. Am I a tissue?

672. - No.

673. Am I dirt?

674. - No.

675. - Will you kill me?

676. - No.

677. - Hey,

678. what happened to you guys?

679. It's almost one in the morning.

680. - You were supposed to

681. pick us up

682. at the pageant at midnight.

683. - Sorry. Am I a finger puppet?

684. - No.

685. - Am I a thermometer?

686. - No.

687. - Sam won the pageant.

688. - Mama got first place.

689. - Am I the French Revolution?

690. - I don't even know

691. what that is.

692. - Hey, I won first place.

693. - Can you guys

694. pay a little attention to us?

695. - No!

696. We have five hours

697. invested in this game.

698. - We are not stopping

699. till we guess what we are.

700. - You're cheese.

701. - You're a big toe.

702. - Oh!

703. - Dang it!

704. - Am I a squirrel?

705. - No.

706. Action!

707. My mom hates me!

708. Then go to iCarly.com.

709. - I failed my french test.

710. - Then go to iCarly.com.

711. - I feel bloated.

712. - Then go to iCarly.com.

713. - The globe is warming.

714. - Then go to iCarly.com.

715. - I have a pimple on my elbow.

716. - Then go to iCarly.com.

717. - Obama won't return

718. my phone call.

719. - Then go to iCarly.com.

720. - I wanna be a vegetarian

721. but I love meat.

722. - Then go to iCarly.com.

723. - Should I go to iCarly.com?

724. - Pretty much.