iCarly 2x7

1. Merry Christmas!

2. - On Comet.

3. - On Stupid.

4. - On Donkey.

5. - On Blitzberg.

6. - Blitzberg?

7. - What? A reindeer

8. can't be Jewish?

9. - Okay. Last week,

10. we asked you guys

11. to pick which costume

12. Freddie should wear

13. for this Christmas show.

14. - A lot of you guys

15. voted for Santa Claus.

16. - And a bunch of you guys

17. voted for Elf,

18. but the winner—

19. - By far—

20. —was—

21. Flashlight!

22. - Whoo. Give me the camera.

23. I don't wanna do

24. this. I'm embarrassed—

25. I don't wanna—

26. - Come on. Come on.

27. Ladies and gentlemen, Freddie,

28. The Christmas Flashlight.

29. - Switch to the B-cam.

30. - Switching.

31. Wow, Freddie, that is an amazing

32. flashlight costume.

33. - Yeah, yeah.

34. - And look, it actually works.

35. - You don't even wanna know

36. where the batteries go.

37. - Ho ho ho.

38. Can I walk away now?

39. - After you wish everyone

40. a Merry Christmas.

41. - I wish you all a Merry—oh!

42. - Too slow.

43. - Switch to the A-cam,

44. Mr. Flashlight.

45. - Hurry so we can say

46. our Christmas goodbyes.

47. Bye.

48. Later!

49. Merry Christmas.

50. - Yes.

51. - Oh, yeah. Jingle.

52. - Bells.

53. - Love you all.

54. Bye.

55. - And we be clear.

56. - Okay. You stay here

57. and help Freddie get out

58. of his flashlight costume.

59. - Where are you going?

60. - To see if Spencer

61. got our tree.

62. Okay, let's get you

63. out of that thing.

64. Here, lie down.

65. - Um, keep going?

66. Straight down? Whoa.

67. - You're good.

68. - Ohh!

69. - Well, goodbye.

70. Sam, Sam.

71. Wait, Sam, you're supposed

72. to help me get out of this.

73. Oh! Unh!

74. In five, four, three, two—

75. Just keep walking.

76. Just show me the tree.

77. - Oh, you wanna see the tree?

78. Does little Carly Shay

79. wanna see her Christmas tree?

80. - Yeah, she does.

81. - Well it's right in front of

82. you.

83. What?

84. Don't you love it?

85. You can't not love it.

86. Don't you love it?

87. - It's cool, but I thought

88. we were gonna get

89. a real Christmas tree this year.

90. - We were, but then I was

91. at the junkyard

92. looking for art supplies,

93. and I got the idea for this,

94. it's a magna tree.

95. - Magna?

96. - Yeah. It rigged with a

97. dangerously large electromagnet.

98. Sam, come check out

99. our magnetic Christmas tree.

100. - Magnetic?

101. - He made it instead of getting

102. us a real Christmas tree.

103. - Here, watch.

104. First, I activate.

105. And now... keys.

106. Yeah?

107. - Whoops, time for cheese.

108. - I thought you loved

109. my sculptures.

110. - I do, It's just—

111. I wanted a Christmas tree

112. that smells like Christmas,

113. this smells like junk.

114. And yard.

115. - You'll be happy

116. once we put ornaments on it,

117. put presents all around it.

118. Did you wrap any yet?

119. - Yeah. They're up in my room.

120. - Go get 'em.

121. - Okay.

122. - Hah.

123. - Hi.

124. - Hey.

125. - Hey, you were supposed

126. to help me

127. get out of that

128. flashlight costume.

129. - Yeah, I'm supposed to do a lot

130. of things that never happen.

131. - Hey, you know what'll

132. make you feel better?

133. - What?

134. - Sticking a hammer

135. to a magnetic Christmas tree.

136. - Yeah, that's always

137. a good time.

138. - Hi, sorry to barge—

139. Freddie, give me that!

140. You know I don't like you

141. handling tools.

142. - Mom.

143. - Let's go.

144. - Come on.

145. I'm trying to live my life.

146. - Um, if somebody wants to get

147. to the mall in time

148. to sit on somebody's lap

149. and tell somebody

150. what he wants for Christmas,

151. somebody better hurry up.

152. - Aw, is widdle Freddie

153. goin' to see Santa Claus?

154. - No. Let's go.

155. - I tried to keep it vague.

156. - Well, it didn't work!

157. - Well, I better head out.

158. Tell Carly I'll text her.

159. - Where are you going?

160. - Home.

161. My mom bought a new TV.

162. - Cool.

163. Are you guys gonna hook it up?

164. - Nah. We're gonna beat the old

165. one with a baseball bat.

166. - Oh, it's Christmas time?

167. Carly!

168. Carly!

169. Oh, you're closed.

170. Aagh!

171. - Whoa! Oh!

172. Oh, this is—this is so bad!

173. Aah. Ah.

174. - What is going—

175. Oh my God!

176. Put it out, put it out!

177. - I'm trying!

178. Just shut off the smoke alarm!

179. - Okay!

180. Wait, how do I turn off

181. the smoke alarm?

182. - Use the pineapple.

183. - Aah!

184. Yeah, there's a fire.

185. We know. Shut up!

186. - Is it out?

187. - Yeah.

188. Pretty much.

189. Ah.

190. Oh, oh!

191. - Oh, man.

192. Do you know how much

193. time and money

194. I spent on these presents?

195. - I guess the electromagnet—

196. - Why couldn't you have

197. just gotten a regular tree,

198. one that didn't set

199. all the presents on fire?

200. I wish you'd been born normal!

201. - At least I have you,

202. little normal tree,

203. but you're not very big.

204. What's so great

205. about being big?

206. - Who said that?

207. - That was me.

208. - Okay. And who are you?

209. - The name's Mitch.

210. - Ooh.

211. Someone's a little jumpy.

212. - You better get out of here

213. or I'll call the cops.

214. - Come on.

215. You don't wanna call the cops

216. on your Christmas angel.

217. - I mean it!

218. You better leave!

219. My brother is a—

220. a sculptor.

221. - Carly, Carly, Carly, relax.

222. - How do you know my name?

223. - I told you. I'm an angel.

224. I'm here to earn my wings.

225. - Oh, you're an angel?

226. - That's right.

227. - So you're, like, magical?

228. - On a good day.

229. - Okay, prove it.

230. Prove you're magical.

231. - All right.

232. Here we go.

233. Pick a card.

234. King of clubs.

235. - So?

236. Anyone can do card tricks.

237. - Look at it.

238. - He's not kidding.

239. He's really an angel.

240. - Ow!

241. It's okay.

242. I'm here to make your wish

243. come true.

244. - What wish?

245. - What just happened?

246. - He was born normal.

247. - You're... you're screwy.

248. That's what you are.

249. I'm calling the cops.

250. And when they get here—

251. Hey!

252. Mitch? Mitch.

253. Screwy!

254. - What happened to apartment?

255. Right. Let's just get

256. Mr. Schneider and Mr. Newman

257. into a room together

258. and I'm sure

259. we can settle this dispute

260. without going to court.

261. - I'll call you later.

262. Come.

263. - I brought you some

264. antacid tablets.

265. - Oh, thank you.

266. The stress down at the office

267. has really been upsetting

268. my stomach.

269. - Spencer was born normal,

270. just like you wished for.

271. - Carly!

272. Are you all right?

273. - Why did you scream?

274. - Is something wrong?

275. - Yeah, something's wrong.

276. This weird guy is—

277. - What weird guy?

278. - Have you been

279. reading a scary novel?

280. - No, I haven't been

281. reading a novel.

282. - Oh, I have.

283. It's all about a baker

284. in the 1700s

285. who makes bread for peasants.

286. - I love that book.

287. - It's a charming read.

288. - Well, I better let you

289. get off to work.

290. - I'll see you this evening.

291. - What's the matter?

292. - You really seem

293. out of sorts today.

294. - Yeah. I just gotta go

295. brush my teeth.

296. I'll be down in a few.

297. - Okay. At least school seems

298. like it should be.

299. - Does it?

300. - Okay, Mitch.

301. Now, I don't know who you are

302. or what you did to my life—

303. - I made your wish come true.

304. Spencer was born normal.

305. - Okay. Even if I believe

306. that you could—hi, Freddie.

307. - Uh, hi.

308. - Why is Freddie holding hands

309. with Rona Berger?

310. - Rona Berger

311. is Freddie's girlfriend.

312. - What? No she's not.

313. He hates Rona Berger.

314. Everybody hates Rona Berger.

315. So what do you get me

316. for Christmas?

317. No, don't tell me.

318. I wanna be surprised.

319. No, wait, tell me.

320. It better be a Pear Pod,

321. the good one.

322. - I thought you didn't want a—

323. - Maybe you should give it

324. to me right now.

325. No, don't.

326. Wait, yeah, do it now!

327. - Okay.

328. - A picture frame?

329. - Yeah. It's digital.

330. I filled it all up

331. with pictures of us.

332. - I see you every day.

333. Why do I need pictures?

334. Ugh!

335. - Okay, I don't get it.

336. Why is Freddie dating

337. icky Rona Berger?

338. - It all goes back

339. to Spencer being born normal.

340. It's made your whole life

341. different.

342. - But Freddie's always been

343. in love with me.

344. - He gave up 'cause

345. you have a boyfriend.

346. - I don't have a boyfriend.

347. I mean, I want one really bad,

348. but I don't have one.

349. - Hey, Carly. Your boyfriend's

350. looking for you.

351. - What boyfriend?

352. - Carly.

353. - Nevel?

354. - Mitch!

355. Oh.

356. What happened to our studio?

357. Mitch? Mitch?

358. - Wow, you say Mitch a lot.

359. - Nevel Papperman

360. is my boyfriend?

361. - Yeah.

362. - Gross!

363. - Love is a crazy thing.

364. - Hey, I'm not done with you.

365. - Oy! Now what?

366. - I wanna know why everything

367. in my life is different.

368. - You wished for Spencer

369. to be born normal.

370. - Yeah, I know that.

371. - You were who you were

372. because Spencer was who he was.

373. You changed him,

374. and that changed your life.

375. - Well, change it back.

376. - Can't do that.

377. Haven't got my wings yet.

378. - Okay. What is this

379. about wings? What wings?

380. - For an angel to get his wings,

381. he must grant someone

382. a wish that causes

383. unintended consequences,

384. thereby teaching someone

385. a valuable lesson.

386. - What?

387. - I don't make the rules.

388. - Where's Sam?

389. Why wasn't Sam in school today?

390. Mitch.

391. - I think you better forget

392. about Sam.

393. - Why? Why?

394. - She barely knows you.

395. - That's a lie.

396. - Spencer thought

397. she was a bad kid.

398. He never let you hang

399. with her when you were little,

400. so you and Sam

401. never became friends.

402. - You're insane.

403. Sam's my best friend.

404. We do "iCarly" together

405. every week.

406. - There is no "iCarly."

407. - Where's Sam?

408. - This is the place,

409. the Seattle Juvenile

410. Detention Center.

411. - Sam's here? In juvie?

412. How come—

413. What do you mean I got a

414. visitor? Nobody visits me.

415. - Oh, can it, Puckett,

416. and sit down!

417. - Carly Shay?

418. - Hi.

419. - What do you want?

420. - It's my fault you're in here.

421. - You're the one

422. who called the cops?

423. Dude, I swear

424. when I get out of here—

425. - No. You're in here

426. 'cause I wished

427. for Spencer to be normal.

428. - Who's Spencer?

429. - My brother.

430. He made a magnetic tree that—

431. - Dude, I barely know you.

432. - You know me a lot.

433. We were best friends

434. 'til I made that stupid wish.

435. - We were never friends.

436. Just 'cause we used to go

437. to the same school,

438. that doesn't make you—

439. - Okay.

440. If we're not best friends,

441. then, how would I know

442. that you've slept

443. with two different colored

444. socks on your feet

445. since you were little

446. 'cause think it's good luck?

447. And how would I know

448. that you're right-handed,

449. but you punch harder

450. with your left?

451. And how would I know

452. that your mom's foot

453. has a tattoo on it?

454. - A tattoo of what?

455. - A foot.

456. - How do you know my mom has

457. a tattoo of a foot on her foot?

458. How do you know all that stuff?

459. - I told you,

460. we're best friends.

461. - What's my favorite color?

462. - Brown.

463. - Why?

464. - It's the color of gravy.

465. - What's my favorite junk food?

466. - Fat cakes.

467. - What's my favorite book?

468. - "Boogie Bear III:

469. The Return of Boogie Bear."

470. - What do I hate most?

471. - People.

472. - What do I wanna be

473. when I grow up?

474. - An invisible ninja.

475. - Wow.

476. - A Pear Pod!

477. It's about time.

478. - Hello, Nevel.

479. - Good evening, Mrs. Benson.

480. - Nevel, welcome.

481. Carly isn't with you?

482. - No, I thought she was here.

483. Oh, my—

484. Is this ring

485. for what I think it is?

486. - Indeed, it is.

487. - Well, congratulations

488. to you both.

489. - Thank you. We were waiting

490. until Carly got here to make

491. the official announcement.

492. But I guess the cat's

493. out of the bag.

494. - What cat?

495. - Spencer and I

496. are getting married.

497. - Aah.

498. - Wow.

499. - Isn't it grand?

500. - So grand.

501. - Okay, that's it!

502. - Car—aah, my arm.

503. - Make some spaghetti tacos.

504. - What?

505. We're having steamed halibut

506. for dinner.

507. - You hate steamed halibut

508. 'cause it's boring.

509. You like to make spaghetti tacos

510. and when you make 'em,

511. you sing a little song.

512. - Carly, I only sing songs

513. in church.

514. - What's wrong

515. with your sister?

516. - I'm not just his sister,

517. I'm your friend.

518. Carly, I think

519. you better calm down.

520. - I don't wanna calm down!

521. - She's crazy.

522. - I heard that, Rona!

523. - Can I get you some ibuprofen?

524. - No!

525. I just want you back.

526. I want you the way

527. you're supposed to be.

528. I want you to make

529. crazy sculptures

530. and to accidentally

531. set stuff on fire

532. and to wear socks that light up.

533. And I want you to be single

534. and lonely again.

535. And I want you

536. to leave the country.

537. And nobody even likes you.

538. And I want Sam back.

539. And I want you to be my friend

540. and say "In five, four,

541. three, two,"

542. but not the one, which I never

543. understood but I liked it.

544. And I just want my life back!

545. - Well, bah, humbug.

546. - Mitch!

547. Mitch, where are you?

548. Mitch.

549. I want my life back!

550. I don't want Spencer

551. to be normal.

552. I want him to be

553. all abnormal again.

554. Please.

555. Mitch!

556. I want you to take everything

557. back to the way it was—

558. Spencer, Sam,

559. Freddie, everything!

560. Mitch!

561. - Oh, there you are.

562. Hey, did you check out

563. that video I sent

564. of the guy who can fit

565. a whole grapefruit—

566. Hey.

567. Hey, are you crying?

568. - Just leave me alone.

569. - Um, okay.

570. But for the next "iCarly,"

571. we gotta figure out

572. which video is going up

573. in the first cycle.

574. - "iCarly"?

575. Did you just say

576. for the next "iCarly"?

577. - Yeah. Why are you—

578. - It's back.

579. Our studio's back.

580. Hello, old car!

581. Hello, beanbags!

582. Hello, hammer that almost

583. killed me!

584. It's all back.

585. - Oh.

586. - Whoa, daddy,

587. what is going on here?

588. - Sam!

589. You're out of juvie!

590. - Juvie?

591. What are you talking about?

592. - Spencer!

593. Spencer.

594. Spencer!

595. - Hey, what's up, kid? Oh.

596. Hey, what's up with all

597. the squeezin' and squishin'?

598. - I missed you.

599. And our house is back.

600. - Okay. I have no idea

601. what you're—

602. Hey, Spencer,

603. do you want us to help you

604. to take that tree

605. down to the garbage?

606. - Yeah. Just help me

607. stuff it into—

608. - No.

609. No one touches this tree.

610. - I thought you hated it.

611. - I do not.

612. It's my favorite tree ever.

613. Come on, let's put it back

614. over there where it belongs.

615. - Okay.

616. Let's go.

617. - All right.

618. - Here we go.

619. Right in the middle.

620. All right? Okay.

621. - Watch your hands. Go.

622. - Go, go, go.

623. - Slow. Slow.

624. - Got it.

625. - Right there.

626. And to the right,

627. to the right.

628. - A little more.

629. - Keep going.

630. - Okay. All right.

631. - Right there.

632. - See, that's not bad at all,

633. it just needs a little love.

634. - Yeah.

635. You guys help me slam some

636. decorations on it real quick.

637. - Yeah. Sure.

638. - Oh, I like this.

639. - Oh, wow

640. - Get in there.

641. - This it's a purple banana.

642. I love bananas.

643. Right there.

644. It complements the tree nicely.

645. - Nice.

646. - I like it right here,

647. sort of near the top.

648. - Right there.

649. - Oh, that's nice.

650. All right, that

651. looks a little better.

652. - Okay, help me

653. put the garland on.

654. - Oh yeah, yeah.

655. All right.

656. - Oh, these are so good.

657. All right.

658. Here,

659. put this all along.

660. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

661. Okay. Good.

662. - Thanks, Mitch.

663. - Thank you.

664. - Why thank me?

665. - 'Cause if it wasn't for you,

666. I would have never gotten

667. my wings.

668. Oh. Oh.

669. - Chicken wings?

670. - Merry Christmas, Carly.

671. - Merry Christmas, Mitch.

672. We gotta make it look good.

673. Okay.

674. - Wow.

675. - Looks nice, huh?

676. - Yep.

677. Spencer, you're not normal

678. but you did build a nice tree.

679. - [humming

680. "Hark the Herald Angels Sing']

681. Mmm!