iCarly 2x21

1. - Open.

2. - Hey.

3. - Yo. Yo.

4. - Thanks for letting me

5. watch TV over here.

6. - I thought your mom

7. just bought a huge new TV last

8. month.

9. - She did, but you know that

10. senator she's been dating?

11. - Uh-huh.

12. - He stole it.

13. - A senator stole your TV?

14. - Yeah, turns out he wasn't

15. a real senator.

16. - I told your mom there was

17. no such state as New Kentucky.

18. - Hey, what's your password

19. to buy a pay-per-view show?

20. - Why? What are we watching?

21. - The Shelby Marx fight.

22. - Who is Shelby Marx?

23. - Uh, try the best female

24. fighter in the entire CFC

25. and she's only 15.

26. - We're gonna pay to watch

27. two girls fight?

28. - Yeah, what's your

29. pay-per-view password?

30. - Well, wait, I have to check

31. with Spencer

32. and make sure

33. that it's okay before—

34. - 1234?

35. - Yes.

36. - Hey, you guys want

37. to work on—

38. - No, stop talking.

39. - Why?

40. - 'Cause you never say

41. anything interesting.

42. Now, shh!

43. - What's her deal?

44. - She's all excited about this

45. Shelby Marx fight.

46. - Shelby Marx

47. is fighting tonight?

48. - Has everyone heard about

49. this girl but me?

50. - Yes.

51. - Yeah.

52. - She is crazy hot.

53. She can kick me

54. in the face any day.

55. - Shelby Marx's foot is

56. too good for your face.

57. - Hola muchachas y muchacho.

58. - Hey.

59. - Hey, what's up?

60. - Oh, Limp Bizkit.

61. Hey, hey, hey. It's Shelby.

62. - Hello, fight fans,

63. welcome...

64. - Man, she is smoking hot.

65. - She's a fighting machine.

66. - Her shorts are so cute.

67. - The fight everybody

68. is talking about.

69. - Okay, how do I make that girl

70. my future wife?

71. - I thought you wanted me

72. to be your future wife.

73. - Could that happen?

74. - Could not happen.

75. - Ugh! Dude, you got sneeze goo

76. on the back of my neck.

77. - Sorry.

78. - You got a cold?

79. - No, allergies.

80. - Bad allergies.

81. - Yeah, but not after—

82. not after this year.

83. You know that doctor

84. who lives here in our building?

85. - In apartment 7B?

86. - No.

87. The guy in 7B just likes

88. to dress up like a doctor.

89. Don't ever talk to him.

90. I meant Dr. Dresdin in 10G—

91. and he's—

92. Here right now.

93. Coming.

94. - Hey, Spencer.

95. - Hey, Doc, did you

96. bring medicine?

97. - Here you go.

98. - Awesome.

99. - Now, remember you have to

100. take these for the full 30 days

101. and then you should never

102. have allergies again.

103. - That's amazing.

104. - How come everyone

105. with allergies

106. doesn't take that stuff?

107. - 'Cause this medicine was just

108. recently approved.

109. Well, not here in the U.S.

110. But it was approved in Cuba

111. and some parts of Canada.

112. - Well, are you sure

113. it's okay for—are you sure—

114. - I think you should take it.

115. But I have to warn you

116. about the side effects.

117. - What side effects?

118. - Itching, sweating,

119. loss of short-term memory,

120. being thirsty, drowsy,

121. muscle spasms.

122. - That's a lot of side effects.

123. - You want to get rid

124. of your allergies?

125. - Yes.

126. - Take those pills.

127. - Okay, you are the doctor.

128. You are a doctor, right?

129. - Yes. Good luck.

130. - Okay, everybody shut up,

131. the fight's about to start.

132. - Wait. Channel 326.

133. That's pay-per-view.

134. - It's only 80 bucks.

135. - 80!

136. - Unless you order it

137. in hi-def,

138. which I did,

139. so it's actually 100 bucks.

140. - 100 bucks?

141. - Shh! Here we go.

142. - Rising star Shelby Marx

143. at only 15 years old

144. is by far the youngest fighter

145. in the CFC female division.

146. - But no one's been able

147. to beat her yet.

148. - True, but that could change

149. tonight as she takes

150. on 26-year-old champion

151. Maya Feckner.

152. - That's enough.

153. - Fight.

154. - Come on, Shelby.

155. - Give her the right!

156. - You got to take her down.

157. - Come on!

158. - Come on, Shelby.

159. - Ooh!

160. - Go, Shelby!

161. Whoa!

162. - That had to hurt.

163. - Oh, what a hit.

164. Yeah!

165. - Go, Shelby!

166. She's an animal!

167. I love her!

168. - A hundred bucks.

169. - Feckner in trouble.

170. - Feckner in trouble!

171. - She's got her in

172. an arm lock.

173. - And Maya Feckner taps out.

174. - It's over?

175. - It's over!

176. - Shelby Marx has just shocked

177. the world by becoming

178. the youngest female champion

179. in the history

180. of CFC fighting.

181. - Ooh! Yeah! Shelby!

182. - She's my girl.

183. - Oh, she's so awesome.

184. - Yeah.

185. - Hey, did you take any

186. of those allergy pills yet?

187. - No, not yet.

188. - Ooh.

189. These are the allergy pills.

190. My dog has worms.

191. - In five, four, three, two...

192. - Okay, and that completes

193. our five-part series

194. on toes with fros.

195. Okay, as you know, Sam and I

196. always like to keep you guys

197. up to date on what's cool.

198. - So now we're gonna show you

199. the baddest,

200. most butt-kickingest girl

201. in the world.

202. - Her name is Shelby Marx.

203. - And in case you haven't

204. seen her yet, Freddie,

205. roll the clip.

206. - Play back.

207. - Okay, Shelby is one

208. seriously tough chick.

209. - Oh, I don't know Carls,

210. I think you could take her.

211. - Yeah, right.

212. You hear that Shelby Marx?

213. I could kick your butt,

214. anytime, anywhere.

215. Let's go, Shelby.

216. - She's just kidding.

217. - Totally kidding.

218. - Carly couldn't beat up

219. my cat.

220. - And her cat

221. only has three legs.

222. - Carly, not a tough girl.

223. - But I do wear cute skirts.

224. - Oh, hey girls, oh, argh!

225. You guys doing homework? Oh!

226. - What is wrong with you?

227. - Ah, it's just a side effect

228. from the allergy pills I'm

229. taking. I've been itchy all day.

230. Oh. Ah!

231. - Um, maybe you should stop

232. taking those allergy pills.

233. - No way.

234. I haven't sneezed

235. once since last night.

236. Getting rid

237. of my allergies forever,

238. it's totally worth

239. a little scratching.

240. Oh, my poor itchy thigh.

241. - Don't we use that spoon

242. to cook with?

243. - Uh-huh.

244. Hey, don't we have a tube

245. of anti-itch cream somewhere.

246. - Yeah, check the medicine

247. cabinet in the hall bathroom.

248. - Okay.

249. - Hi, sorry to barge in. Move.

250. - Freddie.

251. - Have you been online?

252. - No, not for a few hours.

253. Why, what's—

254. - Oh, this is bad.

255. - Oh, man,

256. did someone post more pics

257. of my mom in her bikini?

258. - This is worse.

259. - What could be worse than—

260. - Look.

261. - I could kick your butt.

262. You hear that, Shelby Marx?

263. - I could kick your butt.

264. - Anytime, anywhere.

265. - Let's go, Shelby.

266. - That's so stupid.

267. - It's dangerous.

268. - What are you freaking

269. on about?

270. Fans re-edit "iCarly" stuff

271. all the time.

272. - But people are taking

273. this seriously.

274. Listen to some of the comments.

275. That Carly chick

276. is out of her mind.

277. Bring on the fight.

278. Shelby would destroy that twig.

279. - Twig?

280. - I'm not a twig,

281. and I'm getting curvier

282. every day.

283. - I know.

284. - Eyes up, dude.

285. - You're making a big old deal

286. out of nothing.

287. - But this video's been viewed

288. almost half a million times.

289. - So?

290. - So what if Shelby Marx

291. sees it?

292. - Dude, she's a world class

293. professional fighter.

294. She trains, like,

295. ten hours a day.

296. - Yeah, I seriously doubt

297. she spends her time

298. watching videos online.

299. - But maybe she—

300. - Oh!

301. What goes on?

302. - I'll get it. Coming.

303. - Carly, hi.

304. I'm Shelby Marx.

305. I saw your video about me.

306. - Oh, you did?

307. Wow.

308. That's so cool,

309. because-

310. - Would you scratch my back

311. with this golf club?

312. - Uh, maybe this wasn't

313. such a great idea.

314. - No, no, this is

315. the best idea ever.

316. Spencer, will you hurry up

317. and find Carly already!

318. - I looked under her bed,

319. in every closet,

320. on the fire escape.

321. Oh, there's a big itch. Oh!

322. - Just go find Carly.

323. - Okay!

324. - Hey, Shelby. I made you

325. some raisin bread toast.

326. - What?

327. - Oh, this is pathetic.

328. - Ah, thanks, but raisins

329. kind of creep me out.

330. - Oh, well, I can get rid

331. of the raisins.

332. There you go, raisin free.

333. - You also creep me out.

334. - Ooh, I think Spencer

335. found Carly.

336. - Let me go.

337. - Listen to what

338. she has to say.

339. - She's going to kick me

340. in the face.

341. - No she won't.

342. - You're getting itch cream

343. all over my outfit.

344. - It'll wash out. Just relax.

345. - Spencer!

346. - Calm down!

347. - Let me go.

348. - Ah!

349. - Carly.

350. - I didn't make that video and I

351. was just kidding around

352. when I said that stuff about

353. being able to kick your butt.

354. But someone took the video

355. and edited it to make it look I

356. really said I could kick your

357. butt.

358. But I don't even want

359. to kick your butt. Your butt's

360. never done anything to me and

361. I'm sure it's super cute.

362. - Relax.

363. - Shelby's not mad at you.

364. - She's not?

365. - No, I'm not mad at you.

366. - Okay, good, whew.

367. - But I do want to fight you.

368. - Hey.

369. - Hey! Come on, come back.

370. You're stupid.

371. What are you doing?

372. I like raisin bread toast.

373. - But why would you want

374. to fight me?

375. - Actually, it was my manager

376. Rod's idea.

377. - Oh, well thanks a lot, Rod.

378. - Look, we're not talking about

379. a championship fight

380. or anything like that. Just a

381. one-round exhibition, like a

382. show.

383. - A show where Shelby punches

384. and kicks me lots of times.

385. - No, see, I wouldn't really be

386. trying to hurt you.

387. Think of it

388. as, like, a fun fight.

389. - Just a fun fight.

390. - Um, why is your brother—

391. - Oh, he's taking

392. an experimental

393. allergy medication.

394. - Which has side effects.

395. - Like itching.

396. - I totally stopped itching.

397. - Then why don't you

398. put on some pants?

399. - Good call, back in two secs.

400. - That's Juan, my trainer.

401. - Hi.

402. - I like this raisin toast.

403. You put cinnamon on this?

404. - Yeah.

405. - Nice.

406. - So back to this fight thing.

407. - Right.

408. Look, Shelby's the best young

409. female fighter in the world,

410. but we want more people

411. to know about her,

412. and you're famous

413. on the internet.

414. Well, think about it,

415. two famous teenage girls,

416. both beautiful,

417. both successful,

418. fighting it out in the octagon.

419. Now, millions of people

420. will tune in to watch that

421. which, will be great promotion

422. for Shelby and for "iCarly."

423. - I think this sounds awesome.

424. - I love it.

425. - But I won't get hurt, right?

426. - Does it feel hot in here

427. to you guys? Whew.

428. - And I know I can get this

429. fight booked on prime time TV.

430. - Really?

431. - No way.

432. - But I won't get hurt, right?

433. No one else feels hot?

434. - And the fight will make

435. a bunch of money

436. which we can donate to charity.

437. - That is a great idea.

438. - See?

439. - Yeah, perfect.

440. - Everybody wins.

441. - But I won't get hurt, right?

442. Someone say right.

443. - No worries.

444. - Right.

445. - See, a professional fighter

446. knows how to throw punches

447. that look real

448. but don't actually hurt.

449. Like this.

450. - Ah! Ow!

451. That actually hurt.

452. - See, I'm not a professional.

453. - Shelby, show her.

454. - Come here, Carly.

455. - No!

456. - Get up.

457. Get off the couch.

458. - I don't wanna, I don't—

459. - Go. Go.

460. - I don't—I just want—

461. - Okay, ready?

462. - No.

463. - Yeah, you are.

464. - Lista. Vamonos.

465. - See, nothing to worry about.

466. - So, will you do it?

467. - Spencer, what do you think?

468. - Well, as long as it's safe,

469. I think it sounds like

470. a great thing for Shelby

471. and for "iCarly."

472. - Is sweating one of the side

473. effects of your allergy meds?

474. - Yeah, why? Is it noticeable?

475. - And it's now official.

476. Shelby Marx,

477. the new CFC female champion,

478. will be fighting

479. in an exhibition match

480. against sassy challenger,

481. Carly Shay, the host of her

482. own popular comedy

483. web show, "iCarly."

484. The two girls will be

485. going toe to toe,

486. live on national television

487. next Saturday night.

488. - Wow, this fight is getting

489. a ton of publicity.

490. - You're sweating

491. into your soup.

492. - Oh, God.

493. - I can't believe

494. you bought them.

495. - They were only a dollar

496. a dozen.

497. - I know, but I just think

498. it's a bad idea

499. to buy clams from a guy

500. on a street corner.

501. Who put up these posters?

502. - Me and Freddie.

503. We want everyone

504. to watch, right?

505. - Yeah, I guess.

506. - You're pretty brave, Carly.

507. - Hope you can take a punch.

508. - No, see, it's just

509. an exhibition fight.

510. Shelby's not—

511. - Carly, you're seriously gonna

512. fight Shelby Marx?

513. - Yeah, but just for fun.

514. It's not gonna be like a real—

515. - Do you know how hard

516. she can punch and kick?

517. - I know.

518. She knocked that Russian girl's

519. front teeth out with one kick to

520. the jaw.

521. - I saw that.

522. Poor Russian girl.

523. - Yeah, now she talks like—

524. - Can we change the subject?

525. - Carly.

526. - Oh, hi, Mr. Connick.

527. - Take this card.

528. - Dr. Rick Schaffer?

529. - My brother-in-law

530. over at St. Mary's Hospital.

531. He specializes

532. in facial reconstruction.

533. - Why are you giving me this?

534. - You're fighting

535. Shelby Marx, right?

536. - Yeah, but she's not gonna

537. smash my face in.

538. - I don't know.

539. She knocked that Russian girl's

540. front teeth out with one kick to

541. the jaw.

542. - We were just

543. talking about that.

544. - Now she talks like—

545. - Okay, come with me.

546. - What?

547. - I'm starting to feel really

548. nervous about this whole thing.

549. - Why?

550. - Oh, I don't know.

551. Maybe it's all the talk

552. about me being punched

553. and facial reconstruction

554. and some poor Russian girl

555. who apparently talks

556. like this now—

557. - Come on, Shelby's not

558. gonna hurt you. She said so.

559. - Oh, what if she forgets?

560. - She's a professional.

561. You're gonna be totally safe.

562. - Who texted you?

563. - Shelby's manager.

564. The press conference

565. is tomorrow night.

566. - Oh, that reminds me.

567. I got to teach you

568. how to trash talk.

569. - Trash talk?

570. - Yeah.

571. You and Shelby got

572. to get in each other's faces

573. and say mean stuff and pretend

574. you hate each other.

575. - Why?

576. - Because it gets people

577. all psyched to watch the fight.

578. - But I don't think

579. I'm the trash-talking type.

580. - Well, try.

581. Here pretend I'm Shelby.

582. Now, say something

583. to get me mad.

584. - Okay.

585. Um...

586. Hey, you want a piece of me?

587. Well, too bad.

588. No pieces for you. Jerk.

589. - We'll work on it.

590. - Thirsty. So thirsty.

591. - Here, we sit on this side.

592. - Oh, thank God, water.

593. - What's his problem now?

594. - Another side effect

595. from his allergy meds.

596. - At least

597. the sweating stopped.

598. - Yeah, but now

599. he's insanely thirsty.

600. He's been drinking water

601. like that

602. ever since he woke up

603. this morning.

604. - Is that why he tried to drink

605. that puddle outside?

606. - Ahh.

607. Hey buddy, I'm gonna need

608. some more of these.

609. - Here she comes. Shelby!

610. - Shelby, what's up champ?

611. - Shelby!

612. - Here comes team Shelby.

613. - Way to go, Shelby.

614. - Remember the trash talk.

615. - Trash talk, okay.

616. - Hi. I'm Rod Springer,

617. and I am pleased to welcome

618. all of you here tonight

619. so we can talk a little bit

620. with our two fighters,

621. Carly Shay

622. and, of course, Shelby Marx.

623. - But first,

624. as Shelby's manager,

625. I'd like to welcome

626. a special guest,

627. Shelby's grandmother, Edith,

628. who just got home

629. from the hospital yesterday

630. and is here to support Shelby.

631. Wave to the people, Edith.

632. Carly, why don't you

633. come up here first?

634. - Ah, sure.

635. - Trash talk.

636. - Okay.

637. Hi.

638. I just want to say

639. that I'm really looking forward

640. to getting in that octagon

641. and, you know,

642. mixing it all up with Shelby.

643. Oh, and I'm gonna give her

644. a good pop in the mouth.

645. Questions?

646. - Yes, Carly. You've never

647. fought anyone before.

648. What makes you think you can

649. take on a great fighter

650. like Shelby Marx?

651. - Oh, good question.

652. Um,

653. well, you call Shelby

654. a great fighter,

655. but I say she's just a punk.

656. And not the cool kind.

657. - Carly.

658. - Yeah, question?

659. - Are you saying you don't

660. respect Shelby's punching

661. and kicking power?

662. - Oh, no, I wasn't saying—

663. Carly meant to say

664. that she's not scared

665. of Shelby Marx 'cause Shelby is

666. not even that good a fighter.

667. She's all hype.

668. - Don't overdo it.

669. - I got this.

670. In fact, Carly predicts

671. she'll knock Shelby Marx

672. on her butt in the first

673. 30 seconds of the fight.

674. - Oh, does she?

675. - Maybe not the first

676. 30 seconds.

677. - Sit down, Shelby.

678. No one wants to hear you

679. run your mouth.

680. - Wow.

681. - Ooh.

682. - Are you kidding me?

683. - Don't you talk

684. to my granddaughter like that.

685. - Sit down, old lady.

686. - I'm pretty sure

687. you're overdoing it.

688. - Okay if Carly is so tough,

689. let's go right now.

690. - Bring it.

691. - Get her off me!

692. Get her off me!

693. - Unbelievable.

694. Carly Shay just tackled

695. the sickly grandmother

696. of Shelby Marx.

697. - Help me. Help!

698. - Uh, I fell. I was pushed.

699. - You tackled my grandmother.

700. - I—

701. - Listen!

702. I was gonna

703. take it easy on you,

704. but now you're going down.

705. Hard.

706. - Hard?

707. - That was awesome!

708. Shelby looks like she really

709. wants to destroy you.

710. - She does.

711. - Oh, well, that's bad.

712. - You're making too big a deal

713. out of this.

714. - No, I'm dead.

715. Shelby Marx is

716. gonna destroy me.

717. - Carly—

718. - Everybody said,

719. "Oh, you should

720. fight Shelby Marx.

721. It'll just be for fun."

722. Well, it's not fun now, is it?

723. No. Now she hates me.

724. So she's going to punch me

725. and kick me in my head

726. until I talk like—

727. - Well, you shouldn't have

728. attacked her grandmother.

729. - I didn't attack anyone!

730. You started a big ruckus with

731. your dumb trash talking idea.

732. - Ruckus.

733. - It's a word.

734. It's Shelby. Ah!

735. I'm not here.

736. - You texted?

737. - Hey Doc, I wanted

738. to talk to you

739. about this allergy medication

740. you gave me.

741. - Okay, what?

742. - First I was itching

743. like crazy,

744. then I was sweating

745. like an animal,

746. and now I'm insanely thirsty,

747. no matter how much water

748. I drink.

749. - I told you to get rid

750. of your allergies forever,

751. you're gonna have to put up

752. with some side effects.

753. - Okay, but you're sure

754. these pills are safe?

755. - Man, you ask

756. a lot of questions.

757. - Hey, you guys,

758. we're on the news.

759. - Turn it up.

760. - But the press conference

761. erupted in chaos

762. when Carly Shay tackled

763. the elderly grandmother

764. of her opponent, Shelby Marx.

765. - I didn't tackle

766. her elderly grandmother.

767. We were pushed

768. and I fell on her.

769. - She can't hear you.

770. - And with Shelby's

771. fighting skills,

772. I sure wouldn't want

773. to be Carly Shay,

774. stepping into that octagon

775. with her on Saturday night.

776. - Man, that girl's gonna

777. kick your head off.

778. Good luck

779. with your allergy pills.

780. - Thanks.

781. - Well, that's it.

782. I'm canceling the fight.

783. - Aww.

784. - I think you have to.

785. - Agreed.

786. - What, Gibby?

787. - Why'd you tackle

788. her grandmother?

789. - I didn't.

790. - But I saw

791. the press conference

792. and it looked to me that—

793. don't slam the door.

794. - And that's why garbage cans

795. make really bad underwear.

796. - Right, Gibby?

797. - This is so uncomfortable.

798. - Um, okay, that's it

799. for "iCarly" tonight.

800. - Uh, except for...

801. - Oh, yes, except

802. for one announcement.

803. I've decided to cancel

804. the fight

805. between me and Shelby Marx.

806. - Fight's off, people.

807. - Sorry, but I decided

808. I like my face

809. and I don't want

810. to see it rearranged.

811. - So until next time. Bye.

812. - Buh-bye.

813. - Cinco.

814. - Quatro.

815. - Cheese. Cheese.

816. - Onions. Onions.

817. - Later.

818. - And we're clear.

819. - Can I take this thing

820. off now?

821. - Uh, wait one sec.

822. You guys think it's possible

823. to give a guy wearing garbage

824. can underpants a wedgie?

825. - No, not possible. Mm-mm.

826. - No, not possible.

827. - Let's see.

828. - No, no, no, Sam.

829. Sam, Sam, it's possible.

830. No, it's possible.

831. It's very, very possible.

832. No!

833. - Well, yeah, I just can't

834. believe that Carly

835. is backing out of the fight.

836. I mean,

837. first she challenges me,

838. then she body slams

839. my grandma.

840. And then she just

841. chickens out?

842. - It's pretty lame, isn't it?

843. - Well, yeah.

844. Carly's disappointing

845. all my fans,

846. all her "iCarly" fans,

847. oh, and the fight

848. was gonna raise a lot of money

849. for a good charity.

850. - To help animals?

851. - Uh-huh, we were gonna help

852. unwanted bunnies

853. find good, loving homes.

854. But now 'cause Carly

855. backed out,

856. this little baby

857. has nowhere to go.

858. - So sad.

859. - I'm never watching

860. "iCarly" again.

861. - What's your problem?

862. - Huh?

863. - Why'd you chicken out

864. of the fight?

865. - Oh, I didn't chicken out.

866. I just—I was afraid

867. that Shelby would hurt me,

868. so I canceled because—

869. to make sure that—

870. there's nothing wrong with

871. chickening out once in a while.

872. - Chicken.

873. - Hey, dude, you know everybody

874. is giving me and Freddie

875. a hard time 'cause

876. you backed out of the fight.

877. - I know. I got called a coward

878. in the parking lot

879. and those kids just called me

880. a chicken and made me feel bad.

881. Gibby. Hey, you get why I had

882. to cancel the fight, don't you?

883. - Duh, can we talk later?

884. I don't want to be seen

885. with you in public.

886. - Gibby, why are you

887. talking to her?

888. - I'm not. I was just calling

889. her a chicken.

890. Bawk bawk bawk bawk!

891. Call me later.

892. Bawk bawk bawk bawk!

893. - Ah, don't let it bug you.

894. Kids can be mean.

895. - Carly's a chicken.

896. - Hi.

897. - One sec.

898. - Hey, Socko, Happy Birthday,

899. buddy, buddy, buddy!

900. Socko and I always do that

901. on each other's birthday.

902. - I know.

903. So how's your thirst problem?

904. - Gone.

905. These pills are awesome.

906. I still have

907. no allergy problems

908. and I think all the crazy

909. side effects are over.

910. - Yay.

911. - So how was school today?

912. - Bad.

913. Everyone, even teachers

914. are calling me a coward

915. for backing out of the fight.

916. - Aw, one sec, hey Socko,

917. Happy Birthday, buddy,

918. buddy, buddy!

919. - Socko and I always do that

920. on each other's birthday.

921. - You do it twice?

922. - No.

923. - So how was school today?

924. - Still bad.

925. About your allergy medication?

926. - Uh-huh?

927. - Wasn't one of the possible

928. side effects

929. short-term memory loss?

930. - Yeah.

931. So how was school today?

932. - Come in.

933. - Hey, guys.

934. - Hey, is that a new shirt?

935. - Yeah.

936. - Nice.

937. - Thanks.

938. You've been

939. - No, why?

940. - Over a hundred thousand

941. comments in the past 24 hours.

942. - A hundred thousand?

943. - Yeah, almost all of 'em

944. about the fight.

945. - Let me guess.

946. Carly's a chicken.

947. Carly's lame. Carly's a coward.

948. - Most of 'em

949. weren't that nice.

950. - Ugh!

951. - Is that a new shirt?

952. - Yeah.

953. - Nice.

954. - Side effect.

955. - Ah.

956. - Hey.

957. - Our friend Nevel's

958. been busy.

959. - Ugh, now what?

960. - Go to nevelocity.com.

961. - Go to nevelocity.com.

962. - Uh-oh.

963. - So how was school today?

964. - Awesome.

965. Thanks for asking.

966. Well, what's on Nevelocity?

967. - This.

968. - Carly Shay has embarrassed

969. herself yet again

970. by chickening out of her fight

971. with Shelby Marx.

972. Oh, well, at least you can

973. watch this animated video

974. I created showing

975. Carly as she truly is.

976. Enjoy.

977. - Is that a new shirt?

978. - Shh!

979. - Okay, that's enough.

980. I got to fix this.

981. - How?

982. - I'm gonna fight Shelby.

983. - You can't.

984. You smooshed her grandmother.

985. She's gonna kill you.

986. - Maybe not if I talk to her.

987. - So how was school today?

988. - It blew up, okay!

989. - Jeez.

990. - And my friend Sam told me

991. I was supposed to trash talk.

992. And then when everyone

993. started yelling and shoving...

994. I got pushed

995. into your grandmother

996. and then we both just fell over

997. onto that podium thing.

998. - Are you sure?

999. - Absolutely.

1000. - Finish him.

1001. - So what are you saying?

1002. - I'm saying I'm really sorry

1003. I fell on your grandmother,

1004. but it was an accident.

1005. - Okay, I believe you.

1006. I'm sorry I got all

1007. in your face.

1008. - So, the fight.

1009. - You want to do it?

1010. - Promise you're not mad

1011. at me anymore?

1012. - I promise.

1013. - And after the fight,

1014. my face will look

1015. pretty much just like this?

1016. - Yeah, I'll go easy,

1017. no worries.

1018. - Okay.

1019. - So we're on, Saturday night.

1020. - Saturday night.

1021. - I'll let the press know.

1022. - Does anyone have any aspirin?

1023. - It's open.

1024. - Hey.

1025. - Hey!

1026. - Hola!

1027. - You got my text.

1028. - Yeah, why are we celebrating?

1029. - The fight is on.

1030. - No way.

1031. - Yeah. I told Shelby

1032. that I never meant to knock

1033. her grandmother down

1034. and she totally understood.

1035. So we made up

1036. and the fight's back on.

1037. - And she said,

1038. she'll go easy on you,

1039. she's not gonna pound

1040. your face in?

1041. - No. She has promised to leave

1042. my face just like this.

1043. - Which is why

1044. we are celebrating.

1045. - With my not really famous,

1046. but magically delicious

1047. spaghetti taco!

1048. - Some spaghetti

1049. for Carly's taco.

1050. - Gracias.

1051. - De nada. And some for Sam.

1052. - Quickly.

1053. - No, relax. Argh!

1054. Ah.

1055. - How come you flung Sam's

1056. spaghetti against the door?

1057. - I just had, like,

1058. a muscle spasm.

1059. - Wasn't that another possible

1060. side effect

1061. from your allergy pills?

1062. - Oh, yeah,

1063. I think you're right.

1064. - You're gonna be okay?

1065. - Yeah, now that I know

1066. what's going on,

1067. I can probably control it.

1068. I can't control it.

1069. - So the two girls made up

1070. and have agreed

1071. to go forward with the fight.

1072. - So now, Shelby and Carly

1073. are friends.

1074. Oh, that just won't do,

1075. will it, Mr. Tibbles?

1076. Looks like Nevel has

1077. some work to do.

1078. All right, here we have

1079. Carly and Sam

1080. at the press conference.

1081. So now, we just need

1082. to add some sound,

1083. which I can steal

1084. from their web show.

1085. - Tell 'em what you did.

1086. - Well, I went down

1087. to see my grandmother

1088. and I took her

1089. to Raging Rapids waterpark.

1090. - And made her go down

1091. the mega slide.

1092. - Mm, yes.

1093. I had to push her, but when

1094. she got down to the bottom,

1095. she was screaming.

1096. "Again, again!"

1097. - And now with

1098. a few audio tricks.

1099. - Push her.

1100. Grandmother.

1101. Down.

1102. - We can make Sam say...

1103. - Push her grandmother down.

1104. Push her. Grandmother. Down.

1105. Push her grandmother down.

1106. - That's better. Now watch.

1107. - We clickie, we draggie.

1108. - Push her grandmother down.

1109. - I'll do it.

1110. - Wait till Shelby Marx

1111. sees this.

1112. - Nevel, do you have

1113. a porcupine in there?

1114. - No, mother. Shh!

1115. - Okay, now give me

1116. an elbow strike here.

1117. - Hey, Shelby.

1118. - What's up?

1119. - This kid says he has

1120. something important

1121. to talk to you about.

1122. - Indeed I do.

1123. - Okay, what's so important?

1124. - It's about Carly Shay

1125. attacking your grandmother.

1126. - Oh, she didn't really

1127. attack her.

1128. It was just an accident.

1129. - Was it?

1130. Maybe you should see this.

1131. Now Shelby, this clip is from

1132. last week's press conference.

1133. I was able to boost the audio,

1134. so you can hear

1135. what Carly and Sam are saying.

1136. - Okay.

1137. - So what should I do?

1138. - Push her grandmother down.

1139. - I'll do it.

1140. - Unbelievable.

1141. - So it wasn't an accident.

1142. - Obviously not.

1143. I suppose you're pretty angry.

1144. - Uh-huh.

1145. - And I bet you're gonna punch

1146. and kick Carly

1147. extra powerfully.

1148. - Yeah, I am.

1149. - Who could blame you?

1150. - Let's go, Gary.

1151. - Oh, no.

1152. - Hello, fight fans,

1153. and welcome

1154. to the Seattle Supercenter.

1155. - Tonight in the octagon,

1156. CFC phenom,

1157. Shelby Marx

1158. will be battling it out

1159. with internet

1160. sensation Carly Shay

1161. from the popular

1162. web show "iCarly."

1163. - I'm being told that

1164. Carly Shay

1165. has just emerged

1166. from her dressing room

1167. and is making way up here

1168. to the octagon right now.

1169. - So far no sign

1170. of Shelby Marx—

1171. - Whoa, here she comes.

1172. - Yep, and she definitely has

1173. a lot of fans here tonight.

1174. - Whew, check out

1175. that game face.

1176. - Wow.

1177. - She looks pretty intense.

1178. - Yeah. Hi, Shelby, hey.

1179. - She looks pretty cheesed off.

1180. - I thought you made up

1181. with her.

1182. - I did. She's just acting

1183. all tough for the crowd.

1184. Here, I'll do it too.

1185. - Hey, Shelby!

1186. - Pretty scary.

1187. - Hey, guys.

1188. - Hi.

1189. - Gibby!

1190. - Gib, Gib, Gib.

1191. - Man, the popcorn

1192. here is awesome.

1193. - Ah! So...

1194. - I'll go get another one.

1195. - I'll go with you.

1196. - Bring me back a root beer.

1197. - Shelby Marx, the reigning

1198. CFC champion.

1199. - Hey, check out

1200. who's sitting over there.

1201. - Oh, wow, Sir Mix-a-Lot.

1202. - No, in the front row.

1203. - Nevel?

1204. - Gross.

1205. - Oh, hello iCarly,

1206. fancy meeting you here.

1207. - What are you doing here?

1208. - Yeah, Papperman.

1209. - Well, I heard Carly

1210. was going to be fighting

1211. Shelby Marx,

1212. and I thought this would be

1213. a wonderful opportunity for me

1214. to watch you bleed and cry.

1215. - Sorry, but this is just

1216. an exhibition match.

1217. - Just for fun.

1218. - Oop, ding ding ding.

1219. I think that's for you.

1220. Run along.

1221. - The Seattle Supercenter

1222. welcomes you

1223. to this exhibition match

1224. between CFC champion

1225. Shelby Marx and Carly Shay,

1226. who has a web show.

1227. - And here comes

1228. the main event.

1229. - Okay, you're up, kid.

1230. - Have fun out there.

1231. - All right make us proud,

1232. remember, ah!

1233. - Dude, not cool.

1234. - Sorry.

1235. - You better get out there.

1236. - Okay.

1237. - And here we go.

1238. - Hi.

1239. - Okay, ladies,

1240. this is the main event.

1241. It's showtime.

1242. Let's give the millions of fans

1243. watching a good fight.

1244. Go back to your corners

1245. and let's

1246. get ready to rock 'n' roll.

1247. - Cool. Hey Shelby,

1248. after the fight, you want

1249. to go get some smoothies

1250. with me, Sam and Freddie?

1251. Oh.

1252. - You ready?

1253. - Uh-huh.

1254. - Mouth open.

1255. - Okay, kiddo, go out there

1256. and have fun.

1257. - I will.

1258. - Now remember, since this is

1259. just an exhibition match,

1260. it's only scheduled

1261. for one three-minute round.

1262. - But no one has ever lasted

1263. a full round with Shelby Marx,

1264. so I doubt that even matters.

1265. - Well, thanks for making me

1266. feel stupid, Marvin.

1267. - Fighter, are you ready?

1268. - You got this, Shelby!

1269. Fighter, are you ready?

1270. - Love you, Carly!

1271. - Fight!

1272. - C'mon Shelby.

1273. - Come on, Shelby.

1274. - This is kind of fun, whoo!

1275. Oh, that was kind of close.

1276. It's almost like

1277. you're actually—ah!

1278. Ow!

1279. Time-out.

1280. - Time-out?

1281. - No time-outs!

1282. - You can't call a time-out.

1283. - Well, I just did!

1284. - We have an

1285. unofficial time out.

1286. - Okay, that girl

1287. is trying to kill me.

1288. - I thought she was gonna

1289. go easy on you.

1290. - That's what she said.

1291. - I don't know

1292. what she's doing.

1293. - Let's go, Shay.

1294. - Come on, Carly.

1295. - You got it!

1296. - You can do it.

1297. - Come on!

1298. - Come on! Take her down!

1299. - Beat her face off!

1300. - Hi, Shelby, remember how

1301. you promised to go easy on me

1302. and not really hit—

1303. - Let go, Carly.

1304. Let go of her leg.

1305. - Shay, hanging on to the left

1306. leg of the champion.

1307. Very unusual.

1308. - What's she doing?

1309. - I don't think we've seen

1310. this technique before.

1311. - Let go of my leg.

1312. - Never.

1313. - Hang on to her leg.

1314. - Don't let go!

1315. - Never let go!

1316. - Come on!

1317. - Hang on!

1318. - Carly!

1319. - Stick with her!

1320. - Marx, trying to shake Shay

1321. off her leg.

1322. But Shay is hanging on

1323. for dear life.

1324. - Is she allowed to do this?

1325. - I don't know.

1326. - Will someone pry this girl

1327. off my leg so I can punch her?

1328. - Marx getting frustrated.

1329. - Carly, only ten seconds

1330. left in the round.

1331. - Hang on, kiddo!

1332. - Okay!

1333. - Eight more seconds and Carly

1334. Shay will be the first girl

1335. to ever last a full round

1336. with Shelby Marx.

1337. - In five, four, three,

1338. two, one.

1339. - Yeah!

1340. - That's a foul!

1341. Isn't that a foul?

1342. - And there goes Carly Shay,

1343. running away, screaming.

1344. - Oh, hey, you got some more.

1345. - Carly.

1346. - Carly?

1347. - I don't know where she is,

1348. check there.

1349. - Oh, man.

1350. - Carly?

1351. - Definitely not down there.

1352. - Come on, I don't know.

1353. - Well, what if she went—

1354. - Guys, over here.

1355. - Hey. Nice fighting.

1356. - Oh, I can't believe it.

1357. - You rocked. That was amazing.

1358. - You were awesome.

1359. You didn't throw one punch

1360. or kick and you looked

1361. like a total spaz out there,

1362. but you lasted a whole round

1363. with a top notch

1364. professional fighter.

1365. Way to be, kid.

1366. That was awesome.

1367. - Hey, why's everyone

1368. getting all-

1369. - What do you want?

1370. - To talk to Carly.

1371. I want to ask her why—

1372. - Oh.

1373. I'm so sorry.

1374. Oof!

1375. Oh! Ow!

1376. I'm going

1377. to go wait in the car.

1378. - What happened tonight?

1379. You promised you

1380. were gonna go easy on me.

1381. - You promised it was

1382. an accident

1383. when you tackled

1384. my grandmother.

1385. - It was.

1386. - Don't lie.

1387. I saw a video and heard you

1388. and Sam planning to do it.

1389. - What video?

1390. - We never planned it.

1391. - Are you dating anyone? Oof!

1392. - All I know is that some kid

1393. came to my gym

1394. and played me a video

1395. showing you guys

1396. at the press conference

1397. talking about

1398. how you were gonna

1399. push my grandmother down.

1400. - What kid?

1401. - I don't know,

1402. about this tall.

1403. Our age, round head, polite,

1404. but super creepy.

1405. - Nevel.

1406. - Now I get it.

1407. - Nevel must have made

1408. a fake video.

1409. - That little nub.

1410. - Maybe he is still here.

1411. - Go check it out.

1412. - Right.

1413. - Nevel's head

1414. is kind of round.

1415. - Like a melon.

1416. - Yeah.

1417. - Just let me go, I mean it,

1418. Freddie Benson. I have rights.

1419. You cannot legally drag me here

1420. against my will

1421. or I will drag you

1422. into the courthouse.

1423. I will see you there!

1424. - All right, I let go.

1425. Gibby, lights.

1426. - Lights.

1427. - Okay, Freddie,

1428. I'm not scared of you.

1429. - That's cool.

1430. - Hello, Nevel.

1431. - I'm not scared of you either.

1432. - 'Sup Nevel?

1433. - Okay, you, I'm scared of.

1434. - Just admit it.

1435. - Admit what?

1436. - That you tricked Shelby Marx

1437. with some fake video.

1438. - That made it look like

1439. I meant

1440. to tackle her grandmother.

1441. - Ah! I did no such thing.

1442. Okay, I tricked Shelby.

1443. So?

1444. - Hi, Nevel.

1445. - Oh, dear.

1446. Oh, okay, okay.

1447. What are you going to do?

1448. Ladies, my pants

1449. are very expensive.

1450. - Okay, now, most of you guys

1451. probably watched

1452. Carly fight Shelby Marx on TV

1453. a few nights ago.

1454. - But now Shelby and I are

1455. actually really good friends.

1456. - What, you don't believe that?

1457. - You think I'm lying?

1458. - Well, well.

1459. - We'll just have to prove it.

1460. - Get out here Shelby!

1461. - Ow! Yeah!

1462. - Come here.

1463. - All right.

1464. - Come here.

1465. - No hug for the

1466. technical producer?

1467. - Oh, come here, Freddie.

1468. I'm sorry.

1469. - Now, how can you be sure

1470. Shelby is really

1471. our new best bud.

1472. - Well, only best buds would do

1473. super slow motion

1474. spit takes together.

1475. - With grape juice.

1476. - While a powerful fan

1477. blows our hair back.

1478. - Let's do it.

1479. - Let's do it.

1480. - Let's do it.

1481. - Let's do it.

1482. - We're doing it.

1483. - Okay, let's get in real

1484. close here, nice pretty shot.

1485. - Okay.

1486. - Okay.

1487. - And ready, go.

1488. - Okay that's it

1489. for this "iCarly."

1490. - Till next time...

1491. - Whoo!

1492. - Hi, watch me feed baby

1493. Spencer some salsa.

1494. Wah, baby want salsa!

1495. - There you go! There you go!

1496. - Oh, yummy.

1497. Baby want to do

1498. - Okay. Dance, baby.

1499. - Mmm.