1. Hold still—
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2. - Come on, Gibby.
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3. - Two more toes to go, Gibby.
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4. - Carly, let go.
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5. - Get a grip of yourself.
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6. - All right, Gibby.
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7. - Aw, Gibby,
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8. you got toe blood on my hand.
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9. - And that proves
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10. it's a bad idea
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11. to let two blindfolded girls
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12. clip your toenails.
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13. - Ain't that the truth.
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14. Okay, you know
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15. what we're gonna do next?
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16. - Massage the elderly?
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17. - Not today.
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18. - Darn.
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19. - We're gonna answer questions
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20. from our viewers.
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21. - Here at iCarly, we get
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22. about 4,000 e-mails a week.
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23. - And about half
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24. of those e-mails are sent in
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25. by one guy named Chad
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26. from Wisconsin.
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27. - What's the matter with you,
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28. Chad?
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29. Don't be mean,
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30. Chad loves us.
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31. - Yeah, and I love pork,
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32. but you don't see me
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33. sending 2,000 e-mails a week
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34. to Mr. Piggles.
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35. - Who's Mr. Piggles?
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36. - The spokespig
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37. for the pork of the month club.
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38. - I'm delicious.
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39. - Put the pig away.
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40. - Okay, so our fan Chad
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41. asked Sam, Freddie and I
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42. if we would each draw
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43. a picture of a bunny
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44. and show 'em right here
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45. on iCarly.
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46. - You got a lot of problems,
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47. Chad.
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48. - But we did draw bunnies
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49. just for you.
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50. So first, let's take a look
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51. at Freddie's bunny.
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52. - Give me that camera, boy.
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53. Here.
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54. - Hello.
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55. - Too close.
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56. - Yeah.
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57. - And now Freddie will show you
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58. his special bunny.
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59. - Here we go. Heyo.
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60. Nice, I'd say
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61. that bunny deserves a...
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62. - I hope you enjoyed my bunny,
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63. Chad.
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64. - Here, take your thing.
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65. And now, my bunny...
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66. - Why is your bunny in jail?
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67. - He robbed a gas station.
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68. Okay, let's take a look
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69. at Carly's bunny.
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70. Carls...
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71. - Okay. This is for you, Chad.
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72. - Quit it. Stop laughing.
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73. - But it's horrible.
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74. - No, it's not.
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75. - It's pretty bad, kid.
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76. - Okay, we're out of time.
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77. - Well, it's only—
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78. - Bye.
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79. - Later.
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80. - Sorry about my bunny.
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81. - We're all sorry.
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82. - And we're clear.
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83. - You guys are so mean.
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84. - Look at it.
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85. How can you be
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86. related to a great artist
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87. like Spencer and draw that?
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88. Oh, give her a break.
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89. Maybe her bunny
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90. was in a terrible accident.
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91. - That's it.
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92. No one's allowed
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93. to look at my bunny ever again.
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94. - Oh, we're just playin'.
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95. Yeah.
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96. It's actually kind of cute.
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97. - Thanks.
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98. It's a lot better
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99. than the first bunny I drew.
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100. - That cannot be possible.
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101. - No, it's possible.
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102. - Why is your bunny
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103. wearing fuzzy slippers?
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104. - Those are his feet.
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105. - Why does he have
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106. two bullet holes in his head?
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107. - Those are his eyes.
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108. - Well, why is he carrying
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109. a hose?
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110. - 'Cause he's on his way
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111. to his part-time job
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112. as a volunteer firefighter.
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113. In five,
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114. four, three, two...
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115. - Hey, you there, stop.
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116. - Oh, hey, Mr. Howard.
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117. - You know the rules.
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118. You are required to wear a shirt
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119. during school hours.
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120. - Nuh-uh.
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121. Check the student handbook.
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122. - Handbook.
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123. - Page 74.
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124. - I know where it is.
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125. Let's see. Aha.
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126. No tube tops,
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127. no jolly pants, no turtlenecks.
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128. - Doesn't say
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129. I got to wear a shirt, does it?
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130. - Carry on.
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131. - Hey, you guys got any lotion?
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132. - Uh, no.
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133. - No, not really.
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134. - You guys— what are you doing?
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135. Get out of my way.
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136. Oh man, you guys
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137. aren't gonna believe this.
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138. - Your mom got a job?
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139. - Okay, let's not get crazy.
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140. - What happened?
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141. - Richard Weitz is moving
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142. to Switzerland.
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143. - Really?
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144. - Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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145. Richard Weitz has locker 239.
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146. - Had, baby, had.
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147. - Hey, you got any lotion?
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148. - No.
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149. - So locker 239 is available?
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150. - Yup.
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151. - In the middle
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152. of a school year?
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153. - First time ever.
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154. - That's insane.
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155. - Wow, arriba.
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156. - What's the big deal
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157. about locker 239?
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158. - What?
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159. - Oh.
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160. - It's the best locker
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161. in the whole school.
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162. - Why?
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163. - First of all, it's huge.
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164. - Huge?
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165. - See, when they were
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166. building Ridgeway,
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167. some worker screwed up
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168. and ordered a locker
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169. that's four times the size
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170. of a regular locker.
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171. - That's huge.
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172. And it's right next
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173. to a big window.
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174. - A locker with a view.
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175. - And the cheerleaders
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176. walk right past it
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177. on their way to practice.
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178. - A locker with a view.
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179. - Oh, yeah.
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180. - Right, like cheerleaders
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181. wanna view the two of you.
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182. - So when do we find out
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183. who gets the locker?
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184. - This week.
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185. Principal Franklin's gonna
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186. have some kind of contest.
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187. - Carly, Carly Shay.
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188. - Yeah?
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189. - Wearing a turtleneck
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190. is a violation of school rules.
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191. - Oh, I can't wear a turtleneck,
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192. but he can be shirtless?
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193. - Check the handbook.
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194. - Hey, kiddo.
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195. - Hey, adulto.
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196. - What goes on?
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197. - Just writing a paper
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198. for school.
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199. Did you fix the printer?
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200. - Sure did.
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201. And you can
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202. print wirelessly now.
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203. Really?
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204. - Yeah, try it out.
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205. - Okay. Command P.
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206. - Aah.
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207. - Wow, and I can do that
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208. wirelessly now.
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209. - Sorry.
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210. - It's cool.
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211. Hey, you got a minute?
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212. - Sure, what's up?
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213. - I wanna talk to you
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214. about something.
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215. - You didn't go to my room,
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216. did you?
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217. - No.
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218. - Okay.
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219. So what are we talking about?
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220. - Um, how would you feel
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221. about giving me art lessons?
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222. - I would love to.
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223. When did you get interested
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224. in art?
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225. - Well, see, the other day I
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226. drew a bunny and Sam and Fred—
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227. - You drew a bunny?
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228. - Yeah, kind of.
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229. - Show me.
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230. - I don't want to.
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231. - Come on, show me your bunny.
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232. - Okay.
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233. Well, say something.
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234. - I don't think I should.
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235. I'm kidding.
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236. - Just forget it.
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237. - But I was—this isn't bad.
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238. - It's not?
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239. - No, it's bad.
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240. But it shows that you have
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241. artistic potential.
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242. - It does?
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243. - No.
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244. But it does show
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245. that you're capable
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246. of holding a pencil
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247. and that's enough for me
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248. to teach you how to be
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249. a great artist.
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250. - Okay, and it's better
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251. than the first bunny I drew.
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252. See?
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253. - He's a part-time
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254. volunteer fireman?
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255. - Thank you.
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256. - Just look at it.
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257. - Oh, I need that locker.
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258. - Just standing next to it
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259. makes me feel like a princess.
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260. Salami?
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261. - No, thanks, Princess Puckett.
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262. - Haah, what a locker.
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263. I know.
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264. - It makes me feel sad
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265. for lesser lockers.
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266. - I could fit
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267. a whole editing bay in there.
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268. - You could fit
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269. a body in there...
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270. If one needed to.
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271. Testing, one,
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272. two, testing, testing mic.
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273. Microphone, microphone,
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274. microphone, mic.
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275. All right students, as you know,
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276. we're having a contest to see
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277. which lucky one of you
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278. will get locker 239.
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279. - Yeah.
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280. - Okay. Settle down.
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281. Settle down.
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282. Now, as you can see,
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283. this large glass tank contains
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284. many individually wrapped
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285. fat cakes.
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286. - Fat cakes, yeah!
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287. - Now, the student
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288. who guesses closest
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289. to the exact number of fat cakes
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290. in this tank wins locker 239.
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291. Gibby, do you have a question?
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292. - Yes.
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293. How many fat cakes
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294. are in that tank?
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295. - Oh, Gibby, there's so much
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296. not right about you.
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297. All right, take a look at
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298. the tank, write down your name
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299. and your guess
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300. on one of these blue cards
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301. and drop it
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302. into the decorative box.
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303. - You got a plan?
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304. - Totally.
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305. I'm gonna measure the tank,
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306. calculate the internal volume,
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307. then I'm gonna evaluate
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308. the mass of a single fat cake
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309. and use linear algebra to—
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310. - I got it.
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311. - Oh, right.
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312. - You already have your guess?
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313. - Oh, that's not a guess.
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314. I got the answer.
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315. - How?
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316. - Mama knows her fat cakes.
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317. - Come on,
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318. you can't figure it out
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319. without some kind of method.
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320. - Gibby has a method.
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321. - Gibby, what are you doing?
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322. - My thing.
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323. - Carly, wake up.
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324. - Ahhh!
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325. What time is it?
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326. - I don't know,
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327. like 2:30 in the morning.
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328. Are you ready to draw?
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329. - Draw?
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330. What are you talking about?
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331. - Art.
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332. - Wait,
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333. why do you want me to draw now?
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334. - 'Cause I was in my room,
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335. almost asleep,
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336. and I remembered that I left
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337. my keys in my motorcycle.
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338. So I grabbed a flashlight,
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339. went downstairs barefoot.
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340. And as I was walking
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341. through the parking lot
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342. towards my bike, I stepped in
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343. something gooey and disgusting.
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344. - What did you step in?
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345. - I don't know.
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346. But it's thick,
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347. sticky and green.
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348. Look how it catches the light.
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349. - So?
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350. - So I want you to draw it.
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351. Go get your colored pens
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352. and hurry
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353. 'cause it's starting to burn.
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354. - I'm not drawing
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355. your sticky green foot
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356. at 2:30 in the morning.
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357. - But look how it glistens.
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358. - No.
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359. - Why?
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360. - 'Cause you kept me up
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361. all last night lecturing me
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362. about the history of yellow.
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363. And then today,
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364. you made me sit in the park
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365. and draw hobos for three hours.
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366. I need to sleep.
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367. - Come on, just draw my foot.
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368. - I'm going to bed.
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369. - Thought you wanted
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370. to be an artist.
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371. - Good night, Spencer.
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372. - Look at my foot.
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373. I think it's starting to sizzle!
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374. Attention, please.
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375. Students, attention.
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376. I hold in my hand
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377. the name of the lucky student
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378. who will get locker 239.
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379. - Where's Carly?
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380. - She overslept this morning.
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381. - Now, before I announce
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382. the winner...
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383. - Please be Gibby.
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384. Please be Gibby.
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385. Please be Gibby.
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386. - I feel compelled to tell you
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387. the worst guess which was five.
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388. - I won? I won.
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389. - No, Gibby. You didn't win.
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390. In fact,
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391. your guess was so far off,
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392. we're calling your parents
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393. and having you tested.
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394. - Again?
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395. - Say the winner!
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396. - The winner of locker 239
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397. is Freddie Benson.
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398. - Yes. Yeah. Up top.
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399. Freddie's guess
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400. was exactly correct.
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401. 2,718 fat cakes.
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402. - Haaa!
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403. In your face,
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404. you blonde-headed demon.
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405. - Wait, hold on a second.
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406. - Huh?
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407. It seems
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408. another student has also guessed
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409. the number correctly.
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410. - Oh no.
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411. - And the other winner
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412. who will share locker 239
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413. with Freddie is Sam Puckett.
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414. - Owww.
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415. Oh yeah, Sam's a winner.
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416. Sam Puckett is a winner
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417. yet again, Fredward.
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418. Told ya, mama knows fat cakes.
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419. Oh yeah, thank you.
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420. High-five, up top.
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421. Oh yeah, you too, high-five.
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422. Okay, okay,
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423. now put that spatula right there
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424. next to that spatula.
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425. No, no, that spatula.
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426. No, that spatula.
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427. No, the spatula next—
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428. - What does this have to do
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429. with drawing?
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430. - I told you,
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431. if you learn to work
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432. with three-dimensional art,
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433. it makes drawing
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434. two-dimensional art much easier.
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435. - Can I go do my homework?
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436. - Later.
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437. Now tighten down
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438. that ball-peen bracket.
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439. - I don't know what a ball
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440. bean bracket looks like.
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441. - Peen!
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442. - I don't know what a ball-peen
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443. bracket looks like, you happy?
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444. - Well.
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445. Someone's an irritable
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446. little teenager, isn't she?
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447. Okay.
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448. You know what? I'm done.
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449. - What's that mean?
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450. - I don't wanna do this anymore.
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451. I only asked you for art lessons
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452. 'cause I thought
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453. you could teach me
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454. how to draw a bunny.
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455. But let's just forget it.
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456. Forget it.
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457. - Okay, that's cool. I get it.
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458. - What do you get?
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459. - That you think
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460. I'm a terrible person.
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461. - I didn't say that.
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462. - You didn't have to.
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463. - Told you to tighten
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464. the ball-peen bracket.
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465. Peen!
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466. - Hi.
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467. - Hello, Carly.
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468. - What are you sculpting?
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469. - My feelings.
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470. - Come on,
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471. could you stop being mad at me?
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472. - Why would I be mad?
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473. Should a person be mad
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474. just 'cause his little sister
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475. calls him a terrible teacher
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476. and refuses to tighten
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477. a ball-peen bracket?
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478. I'm not mad.
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479. - Ugh, when did you turn
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480. into my wife?
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481. - Oh, so now I'm a lady.
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482. - I'm going upstairs.
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483. - Wait, what is this?
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484. - Nothing.
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485. - Give it.
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486. - No. Don't—
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487. - What is this, a sketch pad?
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488. - Give it to me.
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489. - Ah, get off.
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490. Why do you have this sketch pad?
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491. - It's not mine.
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492. I'm just holding it
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493. for a friend.
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494. Okay, I'm taking an art class
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495. at the Community Center.
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496. - Oh my God.
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497. - Spencer—
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498. - You got yourself
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499. another art teacher?
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500. Don't be all hurt.
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501. I didn't even want you
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502. to find out.
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503. - How would I not find out
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504. with you flaunting
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505. your sketch pad around like
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506. it's some kind of parade float?
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507. - You yanked it
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508. out of my backpack.
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509. And anyway, I told you
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510. I just wanted to learn
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511. how to draw a bunny.
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512. - Well you could've learned how
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513. from me.
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514. - Ok, you know what,
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515. you're a sculptor.
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516. What do you even know
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517. about drawing bunnies?
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518. - What are you—
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519. - Cut.
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520. - Why are you—
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521. - Yeah.
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522. - Okay,
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523. that's a top-notch bunny.
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524. - Okay, what is going on—
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525. - Not now.
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526. Ooh, super solo.
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527. Dude, what up?
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528. - What did you do to my locker?
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529. - My locker.
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530. - Our locker.
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531. - When did you turn
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532. into my wife?
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533. - Sam—
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534. - I made it into a hangout.
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535. - You're gonna get us
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536. in trouble.
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537. - Look, check out what I did.
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538. Random dancing.
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539. Random dancing.
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540. - Sam. Sam.
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541. Random dancing.
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542. - Sam.
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543. - Teacher.
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544. Random—
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545. - Come with me.
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546. - Aww.
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547. - MS. Okay, people,
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548. today we're gonna continue
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549. our work with straight lines.
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550. But this time,
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551. instead of using
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552. colored pencils,
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553. we're going to be using paint.
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554. And by the way,
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555. I was very pleased
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556. with your line drawings
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557. from the last class,
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558. especially Carly's.
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559. - Wow, thanks.
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560. - Hi, can I help you?
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561. - Yes, I was wondering
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562. if I could sit in
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563. and observe your art class
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564. tonight.
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565. - MS.
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566. Uh, sure, why not?
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567. Take a seat wherever you like.
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568. - Wonderful.
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569. - What are you doing here?
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570. - I just wanted to see
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571. what a good art teacher's like.
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572. - Please leave.
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573. - I don't want to leave.
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574. - MS. Excuse me.
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575. Excuse me. Excuse me!
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576. - Carly, do you know
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577. this person?
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578. - No.
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579. - Yep.
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580. - This is my brother, Spencer.
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581. - What's up?
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582. - MS. Spencer,
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583. if you're gonna sit in
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584. on my class, please be quiet.
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585. - Sure.
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586. - MS.Now,
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587. I'd like you all to begin
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588. by picking a color and painting
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589. four straight lines.
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590. - Four straight lines.
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591. - Yes, Miriam?
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592. - Should we connect the lines?
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593. - Whoa, slow down.
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594. That's next week.
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595. - Uh.
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596. - Is there a problem?
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597. - Oh, no.
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598. No, I'm just so excited
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599. to see everyone paint
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600. four straight lines, go art!
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601. - Will you be quiet?
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602. - MS.Do you have
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603. some problem with the way
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604. I'm running my class?
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605. - Since you asked,
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606. how does painting straight lines
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607. help someone learn art?
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608. - It teaches
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609. patience and control,
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610. two things you seem
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611. to be lacking.
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612. - Oooh.
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613. - Okay, we were
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614. gonna paint lines?
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615. Let's do that now.
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616. Why don't you teach
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617. these people
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618. about being creative
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619. and spontaneous and passionate?
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620. - Anyone wanna go
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621. to the park with me?
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622. We can jump rope with hobos.
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623. - You wanna see creative,
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624. passionate painting?
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625. - Why can't my life be normal?
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626. I'm a good person.
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627. - Let me show you
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628. how a real artist does it.
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629. - Don't you dare—
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630. - This is gonna get worse
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631. before it gets better.
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632. - Get in here!
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633. I can't believe you did that.
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634. I'm never gonna be allowed
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635. back in that community center
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636. ever again.
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637. - You're overreacting.
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638. - No, the head of security said:
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639. "You're never allowed back
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640. in this Community Center
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641. ever again".
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642. - People forget.
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643. - They took our pictures
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644. and thumbprints.
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645. - Yeah, they're never
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646. lettin' us back in that place.
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647. - Why?
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648. Why would you embarrass me?
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649. - I don't know.
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650. 'cause I'm a big jerk.
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651. And I think I got paint
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652. up my nose.
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653. - You deserve paint
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654. up your nose.
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655. Look, if I swear
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656. not to get all psycho,
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657. will you let me teach you
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658. how to draw?
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659. - A bunny?
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660. - Maybe you should start
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661. with a hamster.
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662. Hug?
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663. - After you take a shower.
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664. - Ms. Fielder?
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665. - MS. May I come in?
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666. - Sure.
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667. How'd you know where I live?
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668. - I followed
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669. your brother's paint trail.
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670. - Look, I'm really sorry—
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671. - No, you were right.
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672. To be a real artist,
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673. you need to be
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674. spontaneous and passionate.
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675. They don't teach you that
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676. in art school.
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677. Maybe you could teach me.
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678. - Well, I have been told
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679. I'm an excellent teacher.
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680. - By who?
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681. - I'm sorry I painted
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682. your mouth red.
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683. - I'm sorry
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684. I painted your mouth blue.
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685. - Wanna make purple?
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686. - Please.
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687. - Okay,
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688. I don't understand art at all.
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689. Hey, I can't get
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690. our locker open.
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691. - I know.
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692. I changed the combination.
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693. - Why?
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694. - I thought
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695. it might irritate you.
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696. - Okay, that's it, I can't share
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697. this locker with you anymore.
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698. - Look, why don't we talk
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699. about this later, okay?
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700. - No, why don't we talk
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701. about this—
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702. - Dude, my mom
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703. just had laser eye surgery
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704. this afternoon
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705. and she's coming to pick me up
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706. so I gotta get outside.
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707. - This won't take long.
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708. I am prepared to offer you—
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709. wait, your mom
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710. had laser eye surgery today
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711. and she's driving a car?
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712. - I didn't say
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713. she makes good decisions.
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714. - And you're getting in the car
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715. with her?
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716. - I didn't say
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717. I make good decisions.
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718. Now what about this offer?
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719. - Oh, yeah.
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720. I am prepared to offer you
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721. 200 bucks for your half
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722. of the locker.
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723. - Pfft. Done.
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724. - Done?
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725. - Yeah, why?
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726. - Well,
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727. I thought you'd ask for more.
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728. - Nah, I've been missing having
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729. a locker next to Carly,
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730. so I was gonna give you
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731. that one anyway.
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732. - Wait, well, if you were gonna
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733. give me the locker anyway,
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734. then I want my money back—
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735. - There's my mom now.
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736. Nice drivin', Mom.
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737. Later.
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738. - Goodbye, locker 239...
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739. And my money.
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740. - Aah!
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741. - Aah!
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742. - Hey!
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743. - Here's 17
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744. - It's way funny.
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745. - Carly's hot.
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746. - Awesome videos.
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747. - It's free.
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748. - No charge.
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749. - It's available 24/7.
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750. - Cool pics.
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751. - Killer music.
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752. - Funny blogs.
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753. - Carly's hot.
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754. - Stop it.
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755. - I can't.
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756. - There's new stuff,
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757. new every week.
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758. - And that's 17 reasons...
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759. - ... why iCarly.com...
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760. Rocks.
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761. Mmm!
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