1. - Hi.
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2. - Hey, you guys,
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3. how was school?
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4. - I got an "A"
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5. on my geometry test.
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6. - I had fish sticks for lunch.
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7. - Sam broke into my locker
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8. while I was in gym class
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9. and cut the sleeves off my shirt
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10. and the legs off my pants.
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11. - Why do fish sticks
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12. always make you rambunctious?
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13. - I think
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14. it's the tartar sauce.
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15. - Your head's
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16. full of tartar sauce.
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17. - Hey watch it before I take—
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18. - Stop.
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19. Can we please remember
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20. we're all friends here?
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21. - This thing is not my friend.
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22. - She is too.
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23. - Wrong.
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24. And you are coming to my house
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25. right now and explain this
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26. to my mom.
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27. - Will that make you happy?
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28. - Kind of.
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29. Fine.
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30. - Can't believe you just break
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31. into my locker
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32. and violate my clothing.
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33. My mom works really hard
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34. to make sure
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35. that I have nice things to wear
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36. and she's not going to be happy
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37. to find out—Sam, don't.
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38. Ahh.
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39. - MRS. Freddie.
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40. - His mom
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41. was totally cool about it.
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42. Whoa, is that cheese?
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43. - Thirty pounds.
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44. It's for my camping trip.
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45. Cool.
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46. Who all's goin'?
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47. - Ah, me, Socko,
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48. these two girls
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49. we met at the junkyard
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50. and Socko's grandmother.
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51. - Why ya takin'
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52. Socko's grandmother?
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53. - Yeah.
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54. - In case there's bears.
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55. And while I'm gone Mrs. Benson's
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56. gonna look in on you.
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57. - No! Last time you had
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58. Mrs. Benson do that,
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59. she made me watch a puppet show
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60. about personal hygiene.
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61. - And now you don't have lice.
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62. - I never had lice.
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63. - Have you seen
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64. my sleeping bag anywhere?
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65. - Yeah,
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66. it's in our storage unit,
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67. down in the basement.
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68. - Awesome. And my flare gun?
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69. - Please don't take
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70. your flare gun.
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71. - I gotta in case there's
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72. an emergency.
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73. - But—
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74. - Oh, I think it's in my closet.
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75. You don't need
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76. your flare gun.
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77. - Yes I do.
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78. You know you're just gonna—
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79. - If that's Freddie's mom,
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80. tell her I moved
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81. to Guadalajara.
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82. Hi.
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83. - Hey, Shay.
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84. - Missy?
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85. - I can't believe you're here.
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86. - I can't believe I'm here.
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87. You look so great!
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88. - So do you!
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89. Your hair got so long.
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90. - That's what happens
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91. when you don't cut it.
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92. - Oh, my God, I know!
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93. - So you guys know each other?
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94. - Sam, this is Missy.
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95. We were like best friends
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96. when our dads were stationed
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97. at the same naval base
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98. in Seal Beach.
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99. - Cool. How long ago?
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100. - Wow, like, seven years.
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101. - Eight.
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102. So what are you doing here?
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103. - My dad got transferred again.
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104. - To Seattle?
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105. - Yeah, I'm gonna go to be going
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106. to Ridgeway with you.
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107. - You guys aren't going
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108. to do that every day, right?
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109. Found it.
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110. Who's that?
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111. - Spencer.
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112. Oh, yeah, your brother.
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113. Didn't he go to law school?
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114. - Well, he went
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115. for like three days
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116. but now he...
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117. Found his flare gun.
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118. In five,
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119. four, three, two...
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120. - MR.
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121. All right, listen up.
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122. I am going to post
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123. this sign-up board
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124. for the school at sea drawing.
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125. If you are interested,
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126. then sign your name
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127. and one of you, little demons,
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128. will get to spend
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129. the next six months
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130. pretending to study on a cruise
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131. around the world.
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132. There, now I want you all
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133. to form a neat
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134. single-file line—
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135. Hey, I mean it.
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136. Animals.
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137. - Man, I wanna win that school
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138. at sea cruise so bad.
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139. - Bad enough
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140. to penetrate that freakish mob?
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141. - I'm going in.
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142. Ahh.
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143. Let me—no.
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144. Come on. Get out.
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145. - And this is kind of
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146. the main hallway.
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147. Oh, and that's Kevin.
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148. - Kevin?
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149. - Yeah.
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150. When he asks you if you want
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151. to see his onion ring,
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152. just say no.
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153. - Why?
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154. - Just say no.
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155. - Hi.
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156. - Hey, Sam.
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157. - Hey, 'sup?
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158. - I've just been showing
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159. Missy around.
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160. There it is.
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161. - Oh, awesome.
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162. Whoa, how'd you get
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163. the locker between ours?
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164. - She had to give
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165. Ms. Murdock a tip.
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166. - If Ms. Murdock wants a tip,
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167. you should tell her
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168. to lay off the blue eye shadow
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169. and ridiculous lipstick.
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170. - Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you.
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171. My dad is taking me on a navy
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172. helicopter ride over Seattle.
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173. You wanna come?
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174. - Sure, when?
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175. - Tomorrow after school.
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176. - Aw, I can't.
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177. Sam invited me to go with her
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178. to the meat festival.
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179. - That's okay.
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180. - No, why don't you come
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181. with us on the helicopter ride?
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182. - Really?
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183. - Yes.
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184. - Okay, sure.
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185. - Cool.
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186. I'll text you guys the deets.
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187. - Awesome.
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188. - Argh. Ow.
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189. I got my name on the list.
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190. Animals.
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191. - Aw, man, here she comes.
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192. - Lookin' good, Ms. Murdock.
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193. Hey, Socko.
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194. Yeah, I'm all packed up
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195. except for my sleeping bag.
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196. Yeah, I got the cheese,
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197. 30 pounds.
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198. I know.
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199. Yeah, I just gotta load up
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200. my motorcycle
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201. and I'll meet you guys
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202. at the campsite, around 5:30.
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203. Uh-huh. Later, Socks.
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204. All right sleeping bag,
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205. where you hidin' there, buddy?
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206. Ah, there you are.
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207. No.
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208. Aah. Okay, that wasn't good.
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209. - And I always thought
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210. I'd be scared of helicopters
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211. but that was, like,
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212. the most fun ride ever.
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213. - Wasn't it?
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214. Yeah.
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215. And I can't believe your dad
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216. let us land and get pizza.
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217. - I know, right.
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218. How freaked out were those guys
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219. in the parking lot?
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220. - So.
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221. Wahoo punch?
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222. - Yeah, punch me.
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223. - Hey, there you are.
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224. - Yeah, here I am.
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225. - Where were you?
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226. - Yeah, why didn't you show up?
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227. - Oh, I showed up
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228. at a piñata factory.
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229. - Piñata?
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230. - You blew us off
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231. for Mexican candy?
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232. - Oh, no, the factory
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233. just makes the piñatas,
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234. no candy,
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235. just these colorful shells
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236. full of empty promises.
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237. And it didn't blow you guys off.
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238. Missy texted me
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239. the wrong address
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240. and then you guys didn't answer
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241. your phones when I called.
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242. - Well, Missy said
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243. we had to turn 'em off
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244. 'cause they interfere
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245. with the helicopter's radio.
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246. - Anyway, I'm sure
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247. I texted you the right address.
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248. - Yeah? No, you didn't.
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249. - Here, toss me your phone.
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250. - Ohhh.
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251. - Oh, man.
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252. She wahoo-ed my phone.
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253. - I don't know what to say.
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254. - You didn't mean to.
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255. - Oh, I got it.
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256. Here, I want you to have these.
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257. - What are they?
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258. - Persian chocolates
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259. from my aunt Gloria.
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260. They're really hard to get
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261. and they're supposed
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262. to be amazing.
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263. - I'll be the judge of that.
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264. - Aah, now I'm stuck.
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265. Aah. Okay, no worries.
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266. I'll just call for help.
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267. - Ah-ha.
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268. No, come on.
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269. And why did I pick that
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270. for my ringtone?
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271. - Well?
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272. - I don't know, it's—
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273. Oh, man, this is good stuff.
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274. - So you forgive me?
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275. - Yeah, I forgive you.
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276. Oh, this is so good.
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277. - Oh, hey, did you ask Spencer
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278. if you can sleep over
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279. at my house tonight?
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280. - Ah, no, I forgot.
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281. He's already left
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282. for his camping trip.
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283. Here, lemme give him a call.
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284. - Mhm.
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285. - Can I try one?
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286. - No.
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287. Ohhh.
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288. Oh, hey, kid.
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289. Oh, man, thank God you're here.
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290. I got stuck under this thing.
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291. Ah, wait,
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292. I think I'm almost out.
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293. Come help me.
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294. There.
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295. Ahhh, I am free. Whoo.
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296. Ah, ha ha.
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297. Dude, what up?
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298. - You don't recognize me,
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299. do ya?
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300. - Uh-no. Why should—
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301. Oh, my God.
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302. You're the kid from the lobby
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303. when I was filling in
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304. for Lewbert.
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305. Yeah.
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306. You told my dad on me
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307. and got me grounded.
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308. - Right.
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309. Look I'm really sorry, but—
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310. - Aw, it's too late for sorry.
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311. Now you're grounded, monkey.
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312. Whoa,
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313. you look horrible.
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314. - I'm sick.
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315. I feel like butt.
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316. Remember that time you dared me
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317. to lick the swing set?
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318. - No, I said: "Sam, don't lick
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319. the swing set"
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320. and then you said: "Don't
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321. tell me what to do, Benson",
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322. and then you licked
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323. the swing set.
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324. - Whatever.
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325. I'm even sicker now
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326. than I was then.
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327. Missy gave me rancid chocolate.
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328. - Why would see do that?
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329. - 'Cause she's
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330. trying to get rid of me.
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331. - Oh, come on.
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332. Why on Earth—
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333. - Look at the facts.
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334. She sent me to a piñata factory,
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335. she wahoo-ed my phone
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336. and she gave me
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337. rancid Persian chocolate.
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338. She's out to get me.
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339. - Hey, guys. Who's ready
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340. for a little "iCar—"
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341. - Ew, Sam. You look horrible.
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342. - I've heard.
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343. - Did you lick
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344. another swing set?
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345. - No.
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346. - Well what happened?
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347. - Like you don't know.
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348. - All right.
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349. There's no way
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350. you can do iCarly tonight.
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351. - I could do the show.
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352. I'll be fi— aw, man.
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353. That's not pretty.
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354. Does anyone have a mint?
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355. - Uh, guys, 30 seconds to show.
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356. - Come on.
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357. In five, four—
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358. - All right, that's it.
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359. We're canceling the show.
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360. - No.
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361. - You want me to help you
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362. do the show?
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363. - Would you?
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364. - Sure.
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365. - I can do it.
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366. - You're too sick.
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367. Now go downstairs
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368. and lie down on the couch.
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369. I'll be down
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370. as soon as the show's over
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371. to take care of you.
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372. You know what to do?
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373. - Sure, I've seen iCarly
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374. a bunch of times.
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375. You ready?
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376. In five, four, three, two—
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377. - I'm Carly.
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378. - I'm Missy.
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379. And this is
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380. - Sam isn't
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381. feeling well tonight.
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382. - But no worries,
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383. the show must go on.
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384. - Here you go. Chicken soup.
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385. - Aw, just like Mom never made.
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386. - You feelin' better?
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387. - Well, I haven't
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388. violently puked in an hour.
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389. That's probably a good sign.
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390. - Eat your soup.
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391. - Okay.
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392. Wait, Missy didn't touch this,
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393. did she?
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394. - Missy isn't out to get you.
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395. - Yeah, she is.
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396. - No, she likes you.
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397. She invited you
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398. on a helicopter ride.
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399. She offered to buy you
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400. a new phone.
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401. She gave you
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402. fancy Persian chocolate.
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403. - Yeah, check out the expiration
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404. date on the chocolate.
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405. - I can't read this.
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406. It's written in... foreign.
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407. - Well, I looked it up.
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408. It says 1992.
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409. That chocolate's older than
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410. "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
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411. - Look, I've known Missy
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412. for a long time
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413. and she'd never try
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414. to hurt anyone.
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415. - She's trying to replace me
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416. as your best friend.
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417. - Ah, you're just
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418. being paranoid again.
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419. - When have I been paranoid?
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420. - Uh, when you first
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421. met Lewbert,
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422. you thought he was
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423. an undercover cop.
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424. - No one has a wart that big.
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425. I thought it was
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426. a pus-y surveillance camera.
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427. - And last year, you were sure
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428. Gibby was a mermaid.
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429. - He hates wearing shirts.
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430. Coincidence?
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431. - Can I ask you something?
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432. - What?
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433. - Are you jealous of Missy?
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434. - Not even a little.
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435. - Then will you just
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436. give her a chance?
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437. - I gave her a chance
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438. and she gave me
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439. a Persian chocolate
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440. stomach bomb!
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441. - That's it. Get up.
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442. - Why?
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443. - You and I are gonna
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444. go talk to Missy
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445. and straighten things out.
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446. - Fine.
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447. - What are you doing?
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448. - Havin' a piece
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449. of Persian chocolate?
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450. - You said it was
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451. a stomach bomb.
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452. - But it's so good.
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453. - Come on, kid.
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454. I've suffered enough.
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455. Let me out of here.
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456. - Uh, I'm trying
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457. to focus on this game.
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458. - All right.
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459. If you don't let me out of here
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460. in the next 30 seconds,
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461. I'm gonna tell the cops
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462. that you kept me
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463. prisoner in here and then
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464. you're gonna be in more trouble
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465. than you—
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466. Wait. Is this water?
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467. - You wish it was water.
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468. - Dude, I got to get
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469. out of here.
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470. So just tell me what you want,
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471. okay?
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472. You want money, power,
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473. an ostrich?
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474. - I want you to suffer
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475. the way I suffered.
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476. - What?
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477. - You got me grounded
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478. for two days.
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479. So that's how long
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480. I'm gonna keep you in there.
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481. - Okay.
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482. I really shouldn't tell you this
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483. but, come here, come here.
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484. - What?
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485. - You got to promise
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486. not to tell anyone.
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487. You see—gimme the keys.
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488. - No, get off!
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489. - Give me that.
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490. Give me that.
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491. Ahh, you little monster.
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492. Ahh... No, don't. Stop.
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493. Don't. Quit it.
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494. Help. I'm being sprayed.
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495. It's not water.
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496. Please help me.
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497. - You see?
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498. It was all a misunderstanding.
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499. - Absolutely, I would never get
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500. between you and Carly.
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501. And if you don't believe me,
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502. I swear, I'll walk out of here
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503. right now and never bother
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504. either one of you guys
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505. ever again.
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506. - Okay, bye.
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507. - Sam.
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508. - Okay, maybe
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509. I was being a little paranoid.
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510. - I would never do anything mean
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511. to you on purpose.
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512. I am just so sorry
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513. about everything.
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514. - Sam, isn't there
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515. something you wanna say?
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516. - I still think
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517. Gibby is a mermaid.
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518. - Anything else?
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519. - I'm sorry that I thought you
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520. were tryin' to get rid of me.
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521. - It's okay.
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522. - The important thing is,
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523. that we're all friends, right?
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524. - Uh-huh.
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525. - Yep.
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526. - Cool, I say we celebrate with
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527. the sipping of smoothies.
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528. Be right back.
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529. - So, has Carly changed much
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530. since you guys hung out together
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531. in Seal Beach?
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532. - Oh, shut up.
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533. - Uh, who were you
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534. just talking to?
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535. - You.
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536. Carly was my best friend first
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537. and I'm taking her back.
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538. - I knew it.
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539. Carly's too nice and good
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540. to see the evil in people
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541. but luckily, I'm not so nice
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542. and good and I hope you know
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543. your blood type 'cause I think
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544. you're gonna need some
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545. when I'm done with you.
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546. - I know you can
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547. beat me up, Sam.
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548. But you won't.
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549. - What makes you think—?
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550. - If you do anything bad to me,
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551. Carly's gonna think
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552. you started it.
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553. I mean, look at what's happened
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554. this week.
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555. You were right about everything
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556. you accused me of,
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557. and Carly still
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558. didn't believe you.
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559. And anyway, you really think
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560. Carly's gonna like you
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561. after you beat up
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562. her best friend?
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563. - I'm her best friend.
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564. - Yeah, try were.
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565. - Yay, smoothies for three.
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566. One for Missy and one for Sam.
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567. Whoa, defective cup.
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568. I don't believe you.
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569. - Okay, one more time.
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570. "Carly was my best friend first
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571. and I'm taking her back".
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572. - There's no way
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573. Missy said that.
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574. - She did.
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575. - You know,
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576. maybe Carly's right.
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577. Maybe you're just
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578. jealous of Missy.
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579. - Okay, just forget it.
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580. Don't believe me.
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581. - Tell me one reason
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582. why I should believe you.
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583. - 'Cause I came here.
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584. Have I ever come to you
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585. for help before, for anything?
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586. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
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587. Awww, butter!
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588. - What's up?
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589. - Ah, just puttin'
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590. stuff in my locker,
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591. talkin' to some grungy mutt.
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592. - Oh, get over it, Sam.
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593. - MR. Hey, hey, you.
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594. Are you Missy Robinson?
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595. - Yeah, why?
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596. - "Ahoy.
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597. "The school at sea program
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598. congratulates you
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599. on being the lucky winner
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600. of a fantastic ocean voyage".
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601. "Starting this Saturday,
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602. you'll spend the next six months
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603. traveling the world by sea,
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604. as you study." Blah, blah, blah.
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605. I couldn't care less
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606. about the words I'm saying.
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607. Blah, blah, blah.
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608. And now I'm supposed to do this.
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609. Yaaay.
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610. - Oh, my God.
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611. I won the school at sea thing?
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612. - Yes, I just told you that.
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613. Jeez.
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614. - So, you're just leaving?
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615. I thought you were so psyched
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616. about being
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617. Carly's new best friend.
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618. - I'm not as psyched
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619. as I am to go
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620. on a six-month cruise.
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621. How lucky am I?
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622. - Yeah, I guess sometimes
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623. good things do happen
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624. to hideous people.
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625. - Aw, don't be sad, Sam.
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626. Now you can be
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627. Carly's best friend
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628. 'cause I don't need
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629. to get rid of you anymore.
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630. - What?
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631. - Carly.
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632. - Ooops.
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633. - Ah, look.
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634. I won the school at sea thing.
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635. - You were trying
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636. to get rid of Sam.
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637. - But... we were
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638. best friends first
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639. and you can't have
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640. two best friends.
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641. - Okay, you're a—
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642. - Wack-job.
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643. - Wack-job!
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644. - Carly!
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645. - And I don't have
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646. two best friends.
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647. I just have one—one awesome,
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648. cool, meat-lovin' best friend.
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649. - Momma does love the meat.
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650. - Whatever.
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651. You two enjoy each other.
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652. I am goin' on a cruise.
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653. - I should have believed you.
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654. - Yeah, no chiz.
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655. - Are you mad at me?
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656. - Kinda.
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657. No.
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658. - Good.
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659. So, after school,
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660. how about I take you to the mall
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661. and buy you a new cell phone?
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662. - Ah, you don't need to.
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663. I stole Missy's.
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664. - You're the best.
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665. - Yeah, don't you forget it.
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666. - Forget what?
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667. - Watch it, Shay.
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668. Hello? Chuck?
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669. You down here?
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670. There you are.
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671. - Hi, Daddy.
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672. - Ah. Ah,
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673. thank God you're here.
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674. Your son, he trapped me
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675. and kept me locked in here
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676. for the past two days.
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677. - Did not.
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678. - You did too.
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679. And he squirted me with fluids.
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680. - Is that true?
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681. - No.
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682. - Chuck?
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683. - Yeah.
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684. - Yeaaaah.
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685. - Okay, that's it.
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686. You're grounded.
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687. - Dad.
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688. - No arguments.
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689. You come with me right now.
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690. - Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
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691. Who's grounded now, Chuckie?
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692. Whoops, you are!
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693. It's not so funny when...
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694. Wait, wait!
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695. No! I'm still locked in here!
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696. Come back!
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697. Hello?
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698. What was in that squirt gun?
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699. - Austria.
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700. - Australia.
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701. - Oh, same thing.
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702. - Okay, Benson,
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703. you are too nice.
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704. - Huh?
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705. - Why? What'd he do?
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706. - You know that school
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707. at sea contest last week?
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708. - Yeah.
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709. - Wendy.
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710. - What about it?
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711. - Uh, bye, Wendy.
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712. - Freddie won it.
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713. - No, no, I didn't.
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714. - Yeah, you did.
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715. - No, Missy Robinson won it.
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716. - No, Freddie won it and then
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717. he told principal Franklin
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718. he wanted to give it to Missy.
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719. Sweet boy.
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720. - You gave up that cool trip
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721. just to get rid of Missy?
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722. - I was protecting iCarly.
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723. - No, you care about Sam.
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724. - Well, she was really upset.
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725. - And you said
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726. Sam wasn't your friend.
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727. - Yeah, whatever.
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728. - "Yeah, whatever."
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729. - Yeah, stop.
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730. I just hate that
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731. that nasty Missy
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732. gets to live it up
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733. on a six-month cruise.
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734. - I know.
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735. Well, when we were little,
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736. she used to get really seasick.
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737. But she probably got over that.
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738. - Too bad.
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739. - Yeah.
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740. Let me off this stupid boat
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741. before I—
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742. - Go to iCarly.com.
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743. - Who let you guys—
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744. - Why don't you go
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745. to iCarly.com?
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746. - 'Cause I don't have
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747. my laptop.
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748. has special videos!
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749. - Awesome pics!
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750. - Blogs!
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751. - The highlights
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752. from the web show!
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753. - I know.
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754. I'm part of iCarly.com.
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755. - You are?
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756. - You're lucky!
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757. - And you should go
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758. to iCarly.com.
Copy !req
759. - Okay, what is going on?
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760. - You're having a nightmare!
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761. - Still?
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762. - Yeah!
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763. Mmm!
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