1. - Okay, everyone's seen
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2. a horse do this.
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3. - We don't know what it means,
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4. we just know that horses
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5. always say—
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6. - Pretty interesting, right?
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7. - But it's even more interesting
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8. in slow motion.
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9. - So, let's take a look
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10. at Sam and me
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11. from earlier today going—
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12. - But all slow-mo-ified.
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13. - Go, Freddie.
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14. - Playback ready.
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15. - Okay, first me.
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16. - And now me.
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17. - And now both of us.
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18. - And now Freddie.
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19. - And Spencer.
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20. - And last but not least
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21. my crazy grandmother
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22. who we call—
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23. "J'Mam-maw."
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24. - She's actually half horse!
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25. - Okay.
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26. - Next on the iCarly—
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27. —Sam and I
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28. are gonna show you
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29. one of the funniest guys
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30. on the web.
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31. - Even funnier than
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32. the burping giraffe.
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33. His name is Fred.
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34. - Fred is awesome!
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35. - He makes these insanely
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36. hilarious videos
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37. that are sorta impossible
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38. to describe.
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39. - So we'll shut up
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40. and you just watch.
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41. - All right, people.
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42. We give you—
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43. Fred!
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44. - Hey, it's Fred,
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45. and it's really nice out,
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46. so I think I'm gonna go
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47. swimming later.
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48. My mom found this
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49. really cool pool at the dump.
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50. It's really big and really deep.
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51. I think I might drown.
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52. - Also I got a letter
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53. in the mail.
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54. It might be from my dad.
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55. "To Fred—"
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56. What the heck is this?
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57. Ha ha. You probably thought
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58. this was your dad, you loser.
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59. Anyways, I told you
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60. that I know where you live.
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61. P.S. Your voice is weird."
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62. So the crazy guy
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63. really does know where I live!
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64. What if he comes over here
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65. and steals all the food
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66. out of our fridge?
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67. I don't want anyone
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68. to steal our food.
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69. If you're wondering
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70. why I'm wearing my shirt
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71. while I'm going swimming
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72. it's because I'm uncomfortable
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73. with my body.
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74. 1, 2, 3.
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75. Oh, my god! There's a shark!
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76. This pool is small.
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77. Oh, my god.
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78. Kevin's chasing after me.
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79. Okay, well,
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80. since I'm really mad,
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81. I think I'm gonna go because
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82. I don't wanna
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83. take all my anger out on you.
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84. Bye!
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85. - Okay, I say that video
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86. deserves a—
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87. Yeah, all right.
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88. - Okay, next on iCarly,
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89. Sam and I were gonna shave
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90. some stuffed animals.
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91. - Which is always a good time.
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92. - But now I'm thinking
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93. that instead we should watch
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94. another Fred video.
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95. What you think, Sam?
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96. - I think we should.
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97. Freddie?
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98. - I think you guys should shave
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99. the stuffed animals.
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100. - You don't wanna see
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101. another Fred video?
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102. - Not really.
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103. - Why not, fudge face?
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104. - Because I don't think
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105. Fred is all that funny.
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106. - Uh, do you know
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107. how popular his videos are?
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108. - Each one gets
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109. like a billion views.
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110. - How can you not think
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111. Fred is funny?
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112. - I didn't say he was unfunny.
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113. I just don't love his videos.
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114. - Well, apparently Freddie's
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115. got his little anti-bacterial
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116. underpants in a bunch.
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117. - I stopped wearing
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118. antibacterial underpants
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119. and I'm entitled to my opinion.
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120. - And it's my opinion
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121. that we're out of time anyway.
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122. - So 'til the next iCarly—
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123. - Stay in school.
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124. - Recycle.
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125. - Pour milk on your parents.
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126. - Hug a duck.
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127. - Eat a stick of butter.
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128. - And shampoo a squirrel.
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129. - Bye.
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130. - See ya on the next iCarly.
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131. - Ciao.
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132. - Peace.
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133. - And we're clear.
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134. - Yeah.
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135. - Whoo!
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136. - You guys done with the show?
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137. - Uh-huh.
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138. - Yup.
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139. - Just finished.
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140. - Cool! Check out what I found!
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141. - What is that?
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142. - Looks like something
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143. my aunt Maggie would cough up.
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144. Well, she's a smoker.
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145. - What is it?
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146. - It's my magic meatball.
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147. I carried this thing
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148. around with me,
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149. like, all during seventh grade,
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150. which was arguably the best year
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151. of my life.
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152. - What does
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153. a magic meatball do?
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154. - It gives you perfect advice.
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155. You ask it
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156. any yes or no question,
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157. shake it
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158. and then, buh-oom!
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159. It tells you what to do.
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160. - That's so stupid.
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161. - It is not.
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162. I read an article about a guy
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163. who made three million dollars
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164. using one of these
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165. to pick stocks.
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166. - Dude, it's a toy.
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167. - A magic toy.
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168. Here. Watch.
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169. Will my phone ring
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170. in the next five seconds?
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171. The answer is no.
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172. - Spooky, huh?
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173. In five, four,
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174. three, two—
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175. - Should I drink a glass
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176. of this iced tea?
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177. Negative.
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178. - Aww.
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179. Wahoo punch?
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180. The meatball says no.
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181. - Aww.
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182. - That's all we have.
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183. What am I supposed to drink?
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184. Ketchup?
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185. The answer is yes.
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186. - Well, you haven't steered me
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187. wrong yet, magic meatball.
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188. Hey.
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189. When did you—
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190. what are you doing here?
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191. - I was in the neighborhood,
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192. wanted food,
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193. didn't wanna to pay for it.
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194. Here I am.
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195. - All right.
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196. - Hey. Carly home yet?
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197. - No, but everyone else is.
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198. - Why are you drinking ketchup?
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199. - My magic meatball told me to.
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200. I'm tired.
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201. I'm gonna go take a nap.
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202. - Hey, do you know
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203. what's going on?
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204. I've gotten like 10 texts
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205. in the last 5 minutes telling me
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206. to check out Splashface.
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207. - Yeah, Carly just texted me
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208. saying the same thing.
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209. She says to look up
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210. "Fred is dead."
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211. - Huh. "Fred is dead."
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212. Here it is,
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213. just posted an hour ago.
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214. - Click on it.
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215. - Hey. It's me.
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216. If you saw the last iCarly,
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217. then you heard Freddie Benson
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218. say he doesn't like
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219. my Fred videos—
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220. - 'Cause I don't think Fred
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221. is all that funny.
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222. Thank you
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223. for crushing my feelings.
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224. Now I'm not gonna post any more
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225. Fred videos ever again.
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226. Internet, I click you goodbye.
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227. - You see what you did?
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228. You killed Fred!
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229. I just gave my honest opinion.
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230. - Hey, you guys gonna be okay
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231. here alone
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232. until Carly gets back?
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233. - Sure.
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234. - Why? I thought you were tired.
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235. - Yeah. But my meatball says
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236. I wanna go surfing.
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237. - Oh.
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238. I see you girls are
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239. fans of Fred. Heh.
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240. Oh, dear. Guys, guys.
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241. Unh! Augh! Aah!
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242. Yeah, thank you.
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243. Boo!
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244. - Oh, come on, guys,
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245. it's not my fault.
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246. Aah!
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247. All right,
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248. who threw this at my head?
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249. Who threw this low-fat fat cake
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250. at my head? Huh?
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251. Well, I'm keeping it!
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252. What's up, guys?
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253. - We just had an emergency
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254. meeting of the mathletes.
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255. - Oh, well,
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256. how come I wasn't invited?
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257. - 'Cause you killed Fred!
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258. - All I did
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259. was give my opinion.
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260. - Well, your opinion stinks.
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261. - Easy, Shawn.
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262. I'm very sorry to say this,
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263. but the mathletes are
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264. subtracting you from the team.
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265. - What? Come on, I'm our best
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266. long divider.
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267. - Then you should be able
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268. to handle this long division—
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269. —Between us and you!
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270. Oww!
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271. - Hey, Benson, this Fred thing
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272. is getting way outta control.
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273. - Kids keep booing and
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274. throwing things stuff at us.
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275. - Get up!
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276. You just had to trash talk Fred.
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277. - I didn't trash talk him.
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278. - It's not Freddie's fault.
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279. He just gave his opinion.
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280. - Yeah. And anyway
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281. it's not like—
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282. - Uh-oh, check it out.
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283. - Ugh! Why are they
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284. blaming our whole show?
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285. It's all Freddie's fault.
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286. - Hey!
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287. - Well...
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288. - Well, it's way worse for me,
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289. I've been kicked out
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290. of everything except
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291. the junior bow and arrow club.
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292. - I'm out.
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293. - Because I just don't see
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294. what's funny about Fred.
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295. Well, it's not my fault he quit.
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296. Hey, you don't have
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297. to call me names.
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298. Oh, yeah?
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299. Well, you're a bigger one!
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300. - Who was that?
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301. - My aunt Jennifer.
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302. - Who texted you?
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303. - Gibby.
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304. He wants us to check out
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305. some website called
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306. neverwatchicarly.com.
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307. - Well, that can't be good.
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308. - I know it can't be good.
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309. - Freddie.
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310. - Already on it;
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311. neverwatchicarly.com.
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312. Oh, man.
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313. Some guy started a whole website
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314. just to try to stop people
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315. from watching iCarly?
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316. - All 'cause
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317. you irritated Fred.
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318. - Aaaah! Oww. Ah.
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319. - Okay, let's not panic.
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320. How many people have signed up
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321. to support him?
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322. Um, a few hundred.
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323. - Okay. That's not so many.
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324. - Wait. I just refreshed the
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325. page. Now it's up to 3,000.
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326. - How many?
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327. - Refreshing.
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328. Yikes, 18,000.
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329. Are you sure?
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330. Refreshing. 90—
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331. - Okay, why don't we
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332. stop refreshing? Unh!
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333. Uh... what you got there?
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334. It's a smoothie.
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335. - I think she meant
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336. the gigantic bird.
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337. - Oh! This is Marvin.
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338. He's an ostrich.
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339. I just bought him.
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340. - Your magic meatball
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341. told you to?
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342. - Yes.
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343. - Hey, would you get that?
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344. Marvin wants a root beer.
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345. We're gonna go
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346. into the kitchen.
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347. - Carly, any comment
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348. on the Fred fight?
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349. - What? It's not a fight.
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350. - But iCarly killed Fred.
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351. Don't you feel guilty?
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352. - No. Freddie was just
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353. expressing his opinion.
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354. - Do you agree
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355. with his opinion?
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356. - Yeah, do you also think
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357. the Fred videos are terrible?
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358. - I never said the Fred videos
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359. are terrible.
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360. - Sam, is it true that you've
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361. been arrested four times?
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362. - Three times.
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363. Get your facts right.
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364. - And get outta here!
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365. - Marvin bit my pants.
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366. - No, Freddie was just
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367. expressing his opinion.
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368. - You agree with
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369. Freddie's opinion?
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370. - Get outta here!
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371. - This whole thing
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372. is getting insane.
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373. - Did you check and see if the
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374. Fred guy answered your e-mail?
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375. - I check every 10 minutes.
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376. What won't he write back?
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377. - Because he's a jerk.
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378. - You're the queen
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379. of the jerks.
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380. - Why pick on me?
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381. - Two reasons.
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382. Number one, I love it.
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383. Number two, this whole fight
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384. between iCarly and Fred
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385. is your fault.
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386. - I just said I didn't think
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387. his videos were all that funny.
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388. He's the one who overreacted
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389. and started this whole
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390. brouhaha!
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391. - Brouhaha?
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392. - You can't say things
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393. like "brouhaha"
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394. and not expect
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395. people to hit you.
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396. - Fred wrote back.
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397. - He did?
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398. - What did he say?
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399. - Uh—
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400. - Will he start making
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401. the Fred videos again?
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402. - No, but he says he'll meet
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403. with us and talk about it.
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404. He wants us to go to his house.
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405. - Where does he live?
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406. - Shelby, Idaho.
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407. - That's about
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408. 4 hours from here.
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409. - My mom could drive us.
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410. - She got her license back?
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411. - I didn't say that.
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412. - Well, did she get her van
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413. back from the police?
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414. - Maybe someone else
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415. should drive us.
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416. - This is going to be
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417. a very important art exhibit
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418. that will feature the most
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419. promising young artists
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420. in Seattle,
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421. and we'd really like to include
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422. some of your sculptures.
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423. - Wow! That is such an honor
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424. for you to ask me.
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425. - So you'll do it?
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426. - Um...
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427. could you excuse me
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428. for just one second?
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429. - Of course.
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430. - Okay, magic meatball.
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431. Should I let him use my
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432. sculptures in his art exhibit?
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433. Definitely not.
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434. - Oh, please! This is such
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435. a huge opportunity.
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436. Ask again later.
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437. - But we need
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438. to discuss this now!
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439. I must advise against it.
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440. - Come on! I drank ketchup,
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441. I bought an ostrich.
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442. I did everything you told me to.
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443. Help me out this one time!
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444. The answer is no.
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445. - That's it!
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446. You're not magic.
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447. You're just a mean meatball.
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448. Oh! I'm sorry.
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449. I was just arguing
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450. with my meatball.
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451. Marvin, get back in our room!
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452. - Is that an ostrich?
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453. - Yeah. He's friendly—
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454. when he's not biting my pants!
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455. - I see.
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456. Well, about your sculpture—
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457. Mm-hmm.
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458. - I think we should—
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459. - Wait! Mr. Feldon, come on.
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460. I know it seems—aargh!
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461. - Hey, will you
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462. drive us somewhere?
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463. - Sure. Where?
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464. - Shelby, Idaho.
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465. - Mm, okay.
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466. Marvin, I'm going to Idaho.
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467. Stay off of the Internet.
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468. Hello! We're here.
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469. It's Carly, Sam and Freddie.
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470. Okay. This is the coolest
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471. treehouse in the universe.
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472. - Yeah. It's nicer
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473. than where I live.
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474. - Whoa! Check out
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475. this editing setup.
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476. Don't touch it.
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477. - Hey!
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478. - Hi!
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479. - You're here.
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480. - Hey!
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481. Man!
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482. How cool is this treehouse?
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483. You know, when I was a kid,
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484. I wanted to build one like this,
Copy !req
485. but dad always said
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486. they were too—
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487. I'll wait down here.
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488. - Who was that?
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489. - Skip it.
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490. - Yeah.
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491. - Look, Freddie is really sorry
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492. that he hurt your feelings.
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493. - Yeah, I'd like to hear that
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494. from the guy
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495. in the bumblebee shirt.
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496. Hello!
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497. - I'm sorry that I hurt
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498. your feelings.
Copy !req
499. I didn't mean to.
Copy !req
500. - Okay. I forgive you.
Copy !req
501. - You do?
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502. - Nope.
Copy !req
503. - What?
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504. - Say you think
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505. my videos are funny.
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506. - No.
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507. - Come on!
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508. - Freddie!
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509. - We're in a treehouse
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510. in Idaho, just say it!
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511. - Why should I say it?
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512. - Let me talk to the boy.
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513. - Sam!
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514. - Can I use this?
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515. - Please.
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516. Sam, no.
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517. Get away from me!
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518. Aw! Ooh, not that! Ooh, ow!
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519. Oh, good gravy! Oh! Oh, no!
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520. Your videos are hilarious.
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521. Aagh! I don't know
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522. what I was thinking
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523. when I said I didn't get them.
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524. What's not to get?
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525. Aagh! You're a comedy wizard.
Copy !req
526. - Well?
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527. - Are we cool?
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528. - He's chuckling.
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529. - I see him chuckling.
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530. Why are you chuckling?
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531. - 'Cause you guys are cute.
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532. - We're cute?
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533. - Yeah. I was never mad.
Copy !req
534. I love iCarly.
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535. - But you said that Freddie
Copy !req
536. hurt your feelings.
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537. - And that's why you stopped
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538. making your Fred videos.
Copy !req
539. - Come on!
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540. I'm not gonna stop making
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541. the Fred videos.
Copy !req
542. - Okay. I get it.
Copy !req
543. The real problem here
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544. is that you're insane!
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545. - Am I?
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546. - Uh, pretty much.
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547. - Kinda psycho.
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548. - Yep.
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549. - Guys, since this war
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550. between iCarly and me started,
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551. do you realize my Fred videos
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552. have gotten like 10 times
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553. more popular
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554. than they already were?
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555. - So you did all this
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556. for publicity?
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557. - Totally.
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558. - Just to make
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559. your Fred videos more popular?
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560. - Not just the Fred videos,
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561. iCarly too.
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562. - What are you talking—
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563. - When was the last time
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564. you guys checked
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565. your website ratings?
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566. - Uh, I don't know,
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567. like a few weeks ago.
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568. - Well, check them now.
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569. See? Web traffic
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570. than it's ever been.
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571. People love a good fight.
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572. - Well... that's terrible.
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573. I mean, it was brilliant
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574. in a terrible way.
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575. It was terribly brilliant, okay?
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576. - Hey, there's something
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577. huge down there
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578. trying to kill me. Aah!
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579. It's either a large dog
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580. or a small bear. Aah!
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581. - That's my dog Tibbles.
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582. - Tibbles has my foot. Aah!
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583. - Will you guys go make sure
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584. he's okay?
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585. - I'm not going down.
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586. - Come on!
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587. - Ow, ow! How come you're—Aah!
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588. Oh! Ow!
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589. Oh!
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590. - You know, you could have
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591. at least told us
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592. what you were doing.
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593. - Yeah, you're right.
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594. I'm sorry.
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595. - Okay.
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596. - So... are we friends?
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597. - I guess.
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598. - You sure?
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599. - Sure.
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600. - Should we kiss?
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601. - No.
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602. - In five, four, three, two—
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603. - Me llamo Carly!
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604. - Me llamo Sam!
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605. - And this is iCarly.
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606. - The only show on the Internet
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607. that fights global warming—
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608. —and prevents pimples.
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609. - Now, a lot of you guys
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610. have been following the fight
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611. that's been going on
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612. between us and Fred.
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613. - Yeah, well, guess what.
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614. - The fight is over!
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615. - Over!
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616. - Yeah, baby.
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617. - And to prove it—
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618. —say hello
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619. to our new best friend—
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620. —the genius behind Fred.
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621. Lucas!
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622. - Yeah!
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623. - Yeah!
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624. - Whoo!
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625. Okay, Freddie,
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626. switch to the b-cam.
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627. - Come out here
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628. and show the love.
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629. - Switching to b-cam.
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630. - See, we made up.
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631. - We're all good.
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632. - Oh, come on, you guys
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633. can do better than that.
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634. Hug! Hug!
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635. - Hug! Hug!
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636. Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug!
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637. Hug! Hug! Hug!
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638. - All right, all right.
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639. - Okay, just to prove
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640. that we're all buds now—
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641. —check out
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642. this brand-new video.
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643. - Watch it!
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644. - Do it!
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645. - Playback.
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646. Hey, it's Fred.
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647. Look at my cabbage.
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648. Why can't it speak Spanish?
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649. Muchacho!
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650. My stomach feels queasy.
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651. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!
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652. - Have you seen my cabbage?
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653. - Oh, my gosh, a person!
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654. - Why did Fred flee?
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655. - People scare me.
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656. - This ostrich thinks
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657. I'm a lady.
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658. Ahh!
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659. - I wanna go
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660. to cranberry parade.
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661. - I buried Paul!
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662. - More people. Aah!
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663. I'm eating chips
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664. with trans-fats.
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665. Oh, my God, I'm so happy.
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666. I'm hiding under a Toyota.
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667. It's a sports utility vehicle.
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668. The cabbage.
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669. - Me and the ostrich
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670. are getting married.
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671. - We're wearing matching ties.
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672. - I'm running.
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673. Who invented marshmallows?
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674. What's wrong
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675. with David Schwimmer?
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676. - I like to sniff cheese.
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677. Cheese!
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678. - My mother ate my turtle.
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679. - My bathroom is purple.
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680. - How do you like me now,
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681. junior?
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682. Is Kevin still better than me?
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683. I'm pretty sure I'm way better
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684. than Kevin now.
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685. Who wants to swim in my pool?
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686. Swimming! Swimming!
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687. Swimming! Swimming!
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688. - I'm not gonna
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689. take off my shirt. No!
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690. I'm swimming.
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691. I bet you Kevin's so jealous
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692. right now.
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693. Jealous.
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694. What if these noodles
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695. are Kevin's intestines?
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696. That'd make me so happy.
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697. - My friends are here.
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698. - We're swimming with noodles.
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699. - My shorts are too tight.
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700. - It's like a community bath.
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701. - Cabbages!
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702. - Cabbages!
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703. - Cabbages!
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704. - Cabbages!
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705. This pool
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706. is so tiny. Bye!
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707. - Now I will play the part
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708. of a teenage girl
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709. who's upset about many things.
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710. - And I will play the part
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711. of a friend offering
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712. helpful suggestions.
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713. Action!
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714. - My mom hates me.
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715. - Then go to iCarly.com.
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716. - I failed my French test.
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717. - Then go to iCarly.com.
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718. - I feel bloated.
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719. - Then go to iCarly.com.
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720. - The globe is warming.
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721. - Then go to iCarly.com.
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722. - I have a pimple on my elbow.
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723. - Then go to iCarly.com.
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724. - Obama won't return
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725. my phone call.
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726. - Then go to iCarly.com.
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727. - I wanna be a vegetarian,
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728. but I love meat.
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729. - Then go to iCarly.com.
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730. - Should I go to iCarly.com?
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731. - Pretty much.
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732. Mmm!
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