1. - And now Freddie will read
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2. the next question—
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3. - Sent in to us at iCarly.com.
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4. - Freddie.
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5. - "Dear Carly, don't you think
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6. it'd be awesome to be
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7. Freddie's girlfriend?".
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8. - Read the real question.
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9. - "Dear Carly, what would you
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10. and Sam look like
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11. if you had purple troll hair?".
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12. - Hmm.
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13. What would Sam and I look like
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14. if we had purple troll hair?
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15. - I guess the only way
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16. to find out
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17. is to look at the monitor.
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18. Now,
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19. before we go tonight,
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20. we're gonna get serious.
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21. - Freddie, the serious lights.
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22. As you all know,
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23. one of the best shows on TV
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24. is "America Sings."
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25. - And tomorrow night,
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26. a new champion
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27. will be chosen by you,
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28. the American public.
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29. - Now, the best singer
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30. by far is—
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31. - But all the polls and blogs
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32. say that David's gonna lose
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33. to his opponent...
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34. - Wade Collins.
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35. - And we can't let that happen.
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36. - So you gotta vote for David.
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37. - Come on, people.
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38. - Whip out your phones
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39. and vote.
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40. - We really want David to win.
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41. - It's all I want.
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42. - It's all I want, too.
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43. - It's what all
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44. the cool kids want.
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45. And trolls!
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46. - Vote for David...
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47. - ... Archuleta.
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48. - Vote for David...
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49. - ... Archuleta.
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50. - Vote for David.
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51. - I'm a troll.
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52. - I'm a troll.
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53. - Vote for David...
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54. - ... Archuleta.
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55. - Vote for David.
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56. Unh!
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57. In five,
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58. four, three, two...
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59. - Oh hey, check out
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60. this application I downloaded
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61. on my PearPhone.
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62. It makes all the little—
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63. Aww, she licked my phone.
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64. - Shh! "America Sings"
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65. is coming back on.
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66. - Never lick my phone again.
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67. - She did it again.
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68. - Freddie, be quiet.
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69. Sam, stop licking technology.
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70. - And it all comes down
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71. to tonight—
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72. the final moment.
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73. The winner
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74. of "America Sings" is...
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75. going to be one of these
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76. two amazing artists:
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77. Wade Collins or David Archuleta.
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78. David! David! David!
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79. - He's not gonna win.
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80. Shut up! Shut up! Shut
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81. up!
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82. - Your votes are in
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83. and they've been counted
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84. and the winner
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85. of "America Sings"...
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86. will be announced
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87. right after this.
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88. Augh!
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89. - Another commercial?
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90. - And they wonder why they're
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91. losing teens to the Internet.
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92. Carly! Carly!
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93. Have you seen my copy
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94. of that movie
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95. "Boogie Bear Takes Manhattan"?
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96. - No. When did you lose it?
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97. - A little over 10 years ago.
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98. - 10 years?
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99. - Yeah.
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100. I just got this letter
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101. from Video Village
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102. telling me I never returned it.
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103. - So?
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104. So it's a dollar
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105. for every day it's late.
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106. They're saying I owe them
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107. over 3,600 bucks.
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108. - Go to the place and tell them
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109. you returned it 10 years ago.
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110. - Lie?
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111. - Yeah.
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112. - Oh, no, I can't.
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113. I'm a terrible liar.
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114. - Its true. One time—
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115. - Don't tell the story.
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116. - I'm telling the story.
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117. One time we were gonna ride
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118. roller coasters on a school day,
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119. and when Spencer came to get me,
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120. he told Ms. Briggs
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121. he was taking me to the doctor
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122. and she said, "which one?"
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123. and Spencer said—
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124. - Dr. Roller Coaster.
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125. - And guess what I didn't get
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126. to ride that day?
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127. - You know,
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128. I can teach you to lie.
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129. - Yeah, I don't think so.
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130. - Why not?
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131. - If you wanna be good
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132. at something,
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133. you might as well learn
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134. from the best.
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135. Yeah, I got third place
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136. in the Washington State
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137. Lying Competition.
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138. - Yeah, but still,
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139. I don't think—whoa, third?
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140. - Dude, I'm lying.
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141. - Impressive.
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142. Okay, so you wanna start
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143. tomorrow?
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144. - Oh, I can't tomorrow, I gotta
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145. go to my great-uncle's funeral.
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146. - Oh, man, I'm so sorry.
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147. - Lying!
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148. - Fantastic.
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149. - Shh! It's back on.
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150. Welcome back.
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151. All right.
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152. I've kept you
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153. and Wade Collins
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154. and David Archuleta
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155. waiting long enough.
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156. America voted.
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157. And the winner of this year's
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158. "America Sings" competition is—
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159. - Come on, David.
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160. - Please be Archuleta.
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161. - Say it.
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162. - David Archuleta.
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163. Oh, yes!
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164. - I can't believe it.
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165. - This is unbelievable.
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166. - That's why I can't believe it.
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167. Oh, David!
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168. - He won!
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169. - Yeah. Yeah, he won.
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170. Go, David! Archuleta! Go!
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171. - Found it!
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172. - Your movie?
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173. - No, my little banjo.
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174. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo.
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175. Okay. Ready?
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176. Watch the TV swing out.
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177. - What?
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178. - I fixed it so it swings out
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179. 18% faster now.
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180. - Okay, you've gotta get
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181. a girlfriend.
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182. - I know. Uh—
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183. - No.
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184. - Yeah.
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185. - Turn on the TV.
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186. They're talking about iCarly.
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187. Turn on channel nine. Hurry!
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188. Whoa, cool yo-yo.
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189. Turn on channel nine.
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190. Many were surprised
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191. that Wade Collins lost,
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192. and according
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193. to industry insiders
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194. David Archuleta
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195. may owe his victory
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196. to a popular web show
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197. called "iCarly".
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198. - What?
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199. - No way!
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200. - Where'd you get this yo-yo?
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201. - Spencer!
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202. Apparently,
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203. the teenage girls
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204. who host iCarly told their
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205. fans to vote for Archuleta.
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206. "America Sings" producer,
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207. Stan Berman,
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208. confirmed there was a huge spike
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209. in votes for Archuleta
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210. just after the "iCarly"
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211. web show.
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212. - He won because of us.
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213. - Well, we didn't do
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214. anything wrong.
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215. We like Archuleta,
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216. so we helped him win.
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217. - Yeah. I guess
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218. nobody got hurt.
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219. - Except that poor guy
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220. you made lose.
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221. - Look, I gotta give it up
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222. to David.
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223. I mean, he's a great singer,
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224. but, yeah,
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225. it would've been nice to win.
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226. You see, my mother's been ill,
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227. and I was going to use the money
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228. from the recording contract
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229. to help her get the surgery
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230. she needs.
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231. - Aw, his mother needs surgery.
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232. - She's not gettin' it now.
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233. - Oh, man, I forgot.
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234. The winner gets
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235. a big recording contract
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236. for a ton of money.
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237. - Yeah, I hear the loser
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238. gets nothing.
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239. - Hey, we used the power
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240. of iCarly to help Archuleta.
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241. - I know that.
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242. So let's use iCarly
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243. to help Collins.
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244. We can bring him on,
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245. have him sing.
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246. - And Sam and I can be all:
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247. "Aah! Wade Collins",
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248. and then maybe that'll help him
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249. get more popular
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250. and he can get
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251. a recording contract too.
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252. - Perfect, I'll look up his fan
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253. site and shoot him an e-mail.
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254. - Do it!
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255. - Someone broke your yo-yo.
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256. - I think you need
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257. to go downstairs.
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258. - Hey, look,
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259. I returned the movie.
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260. Well, I don't care
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261. what your records say.
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262. I know I returned it.
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263. When?
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264. Well, you know,
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265. like 10 years ago,
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266. on thurs—wednes—
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267. it was an afternoon.
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268. That's when—okay, I'm lying,
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269. I'm a dirty liar.
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270. These are the eyes of a liar.
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271. - Spencer!
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272. - Hey, you're an hour late.
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273. - I know. I got jumped.
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274. - What?
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275. - I was on my way here
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276. when these two huge biker chicks
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277. jumped out of an alley, beat me
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278. up and stole my backpack.
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279. - Oh, my God, are you all right?
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280. - No!
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281. - I better call the cops.
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282. - Okay, and when you get 'em
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283. on the phone,
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284. make sure you tell 'em
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285. that I'm lying!
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286. - Right, hey, my little sister's
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287. friend just got—
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288. I'll call you back.
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289. You make it look so easy.
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290. - Just takes practice.
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291. - Yeah, but I don't know
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292. if I have your talent for this.
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293. - Dude, lying is easy.
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294. You just gotta say stuff
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295. like it's true,
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296. like you really mean it,
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297. you can learn this.
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298. - You think?
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299. - Yeah, you're smart.
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300. - Thanks.
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301. Wait. Was that a lie?
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302. - No.
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303. I think you're really smart.
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304. - Okay, as you know,
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305. Wade Collins was supposed to be
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306. here on iCarly tonight
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307. to sing for us,
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308. - But apparently
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309. Freddie screwed up.
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310. - He said he would be here.
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311. Anyway,
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312. since Wade isn't here—
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313. - Our little friend Gibby is
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314. gonna come out and sing for you.
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315. - Get out here, Gibby.
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316. - Oh, yeah.
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317. - Hey, there!
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318. When I wake up in the middle
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319. of the night screaming,
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320. this is the song my mom sings
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321. to calm me down.
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322. Freddie?
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323. - Cut the song!
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324. Hey, guys, he's here.
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325. - Say hello to...
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326. - The first runner-up
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327. from "America Sings"...
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328. Wade Collins.
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329. - So thanks for comin'
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330. on the show.
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331. - Yeah.
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332. - Well, thank you for having me.
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333. I'm a huge fan of iCarly
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334. and apparently so are
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335. a lot of people.
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336. - Yeah.
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337. - We're sorry
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338. we influenced the voting.
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339. - And, you know,
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340. kinda ruined your life.
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341. - Oh, no worries,
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342. you didn't ruin my life.
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343. You just ruined
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344. a big part of it.
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345. - Well, we're really psyched
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346. that you took time
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347. out of your busy schedule
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348. to be with us here tonight.
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349. - Um, actually,
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350. I'm not all that busy.
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351. - But I thought
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352. you shoot a music video
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353. after being on "America Sings".
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354. - No, no, only the winner
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355. gets to do a music video.
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356. I lost.
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357. So,
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358. you didn't get anything
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359. for coming in second?
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360. - No, I did.
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361. They gave me a jacket
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362. and a gift certificate
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363. to B.F. Wang's.
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364. - Oh.
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365. I love their cashew chicken.
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366. - Oh, yeah, me too.
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367. - Yeah, it's great. Chicken.
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368. Hey, am I gonna sing or what?
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369. No.
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370. - Gibby.
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371. - Hey, you know what?
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372. - What's that?
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373. - Freddie's awesome
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374. with a camera, so how about
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375. you let us help you
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376. make a music video?
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377. And we can premiere it
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378. right here on "iCarly."
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379. - Totally.
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380. - Seriously?
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381. - Sure.
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382. - Why not? Let's do it.
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383. - Oh, thanks.
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384. You guys are the best!
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385. Okay, Freddie's giving
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386. us that signal, which means—
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387. - Show's over.
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388. - But be sure to check out
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389. the next iCarly—
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390. - For the premiere of
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391. Wade Collins' new music video.
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392. - Until then, always remember—
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393. - Never forget—
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394. - What was it?
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395. - I forget.
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396. - Me too. That's embarrassing.
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397. - Wow.
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398. - Bye.
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399. - See ya.
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400. - Later!
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401. And we're clear.
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402. - Okay, way to go, Wade.
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403. - Yeah, nice job, Wade.
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404. - Hey, my friends call me Wade.
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405. You call me Mr. Collins.
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406. - Um, okay,
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407. I thought we were friends here.
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408. - Why would I be friends
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409. with a group of teenage idiots
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410. who destroyed my singing career?
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411. - Okay.
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412. So you don't wanna
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413. do the video?
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414. - Augh! Don't be stupid!
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415. Of course we're doing the video.
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416. It's the least you sprags
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417. can do for me.
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418. - Did he just call me stupid?
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419. - I heard "sprags."
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420. - I'll come over tomorrow
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421. and we'll shoot the video then.
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422. - Okay. What time?
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423. - When I get here.
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424. Oh, and I'll need
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425. a personal assistant, you.
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426. - Yes!
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427. - Wade Collins is leaving.
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428. - What a jerk!
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429. - I hate him.
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430. - We have to make a music video
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431. for that guy?
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432. - Sweet! My first chest hair!
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433. - Aw.
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434. - Um, Wade?
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435. It's noon, and we haven't shot
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436. anything yet.
Copy !req
437. Are you almost ready?
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438. - Mr. Collins doesn't want you
Copy !req
439. to talk to him directly.
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440. - Fine, just tell him
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441. what I said.
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442. - Okay. Mr. Collins—
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443. - Tell the director
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444. I'll be ready when I'm ready
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445. and to get out of my face.
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446. - Sure thing. Um—
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447. - Yeah, yeah.
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448. Hey,
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449. do you think this dress
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450. is a little too saucy?
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451. - It's a music video.
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452. You need to look hotter
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453. than you usually do.
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454. - Well, thank you.
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455. - Where's Sam?
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456. - She saw the dress
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457. you wanted her to wear,
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458. threw a corn dog at it,
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459. and walked out.
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460. - Ah.
Copy !req
461. - But the other girls are here.
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462. Ohh, hello, other girls.
Copy !req
463. - Is Wade ready?
Copy !req
464. - I don't know.
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465. He's been making
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466. Gibby brush his hair
Copy !req
467. for 45 minutes.
Copy !req
468. - You've got beautiful hair.
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469. - Don't look at it!
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470. - He's such a nub.
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471. I don't wanna do this anymore.
Copy !req
472. - We have to.
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473. His mom needs surgery,
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474. and if it weren't for us
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475. he'd have a big record deal
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476. and lots of money,
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477. and stop drooling
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478. over those girls.
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479. - Wade, come on,
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480. we gotta do this.
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481. I need you up on the hood
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482. of the car.
Copy !req
483. - Uh, Mr. Collins, he wants you
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484. up on the hood of the car.
Copy !req
485. - Thank you, Jibley.
Copy !req
486. - His name is Gibby.
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487. - You can call me Jibley.
Copy !req
488. Okay, Carly,
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489. I need you and the other girls
Copy !req
490. to get around the car there
Copy !req
491. and look awesome.
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492. - I'll try my best.
Copy !req
493. - Okay, Wade,
Copy !req
494. Gibby's gonna cue the music,
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495. and when I yell action—
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496. - Just roll the camera!
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497. Action!
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498. - Hey, check out
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499. this little guy!
Copy !req
500. Jibley, stop the music!
Copy !req
501. - Aww! He's so cute!
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502. Where'd you get him?
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503. - You know the lady downstairs
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504. in 4-G?
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505. - The one whose gums
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506. are always bleeding?
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507. Yeah.
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508. - Hey!
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509. Did we just stop shooting
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510. wade collins' music video
Copy !req
511. because of a stupid animal?
Copy !req
512. - He's not stupid.
Copy !req
513. - He's adorable.
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514. Look at his little—
Copy !req
515. - No, I hate puppies.
Copy !req
516. I swear, you're all just
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517. a bunch of hob-knockers.
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518. - Hob-knockers?
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519. - I'm going down to get
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520. some yogg-urt.
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521. - Yogg-urt?
Copy !req
522. - Um, we're in the middle
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523. of shooting your music video.
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524. - No, you're all busy
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525. worshipping a filthy
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526. little beast.
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527. Ucch! Why are all americans
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528. such idiots?
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529. - I thought we were
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530. hob-knockers.
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531. - Ooh.
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532. Aahhh.
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533. Ehh.
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534. Ooh-aaah.
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535. - Come on.
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536. - I don't know
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537. if I can do this.
Copy !req
538. - You can. Let's go.
Copy !req
539. - But what if I—oh.
Copy !req
540. - Let's go. Like we practiced.
Copy !req
541. Start.
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542. - Hello, I'm Spencer Shay.
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543. You guys sent me this letter
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544. saying I never returned
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545. "Boogie Bear Takes Manhattan."
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546. - That's right, you didn't.
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547. - Yes, I did.
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548. - When?
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549. - 10 years ago.
Copy !req
550. - How can you remember?
Copy !req
551. - 'Cause I brought it back
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552. the Same day I won
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553. my olympic silver medal.
Copy !req
554. - You won a silver medal?
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555. - Sure did.
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556. - Luge.
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557. - Where's the medal?
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558. - At my summer home in Prague.
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559. - When were you there last?
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560. - March 3rd.
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561. I had lunch there with the pope.
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562. - You're friends with the pope?
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563. - He's my cousin.
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564. - What's his e-mail address?
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565. - Pontiff-one@pope.org.
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566. - And you're sure you brought
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567. that movie back here?
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568. - Yes. Now I have to go.
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569. I'm going horseback riding
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570. with a supermodel.
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571. - Spencer?
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572. - Yeah?
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573. - You're ready.
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574. - I know.
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575. ♪ I always cry
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576. - Wow, you made Wade look
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577. awesome.
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578. - Good video, Fredison.
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579. - Thanks.
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580. It was hard to find good footage
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581. of the guy not screaming at me
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582. and calling me
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583. "an untalented hob-knocker"!
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584. - What is a hob-knocker?
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585. - Oh! That's gross!
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586. - And illegal.
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587. - I hate Wade Collins.
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588. - Well, at least
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589. the video's done.
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590. We'll give it to Wade, and then
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591. he's out of our lives forever.
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592. - Good.
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593. - Not soon enough.
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594. - Come on, I need to shoot video
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595. of your heads
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596. for that iCarly bit.
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597. - The one where we dance
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598. inside each other's mouths.
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599. - Oh, right,
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600. Random Mouth Dancing.
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601. Right,
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602. open wide and— rolling.
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603. Ahh!
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604. - I'm here for my music video.
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605. - Who let you up here?
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606. - We're in the middle
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607. of something.
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608. - Yeah, yeah, you can get back
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609. to your obnoxious
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610. little comedy show
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611. after you give me my video.
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612. - Look, you little—
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613. - Sam.
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614. Just give him the video.
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615. - Whatever.
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616. - Hob-knocker.
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617. Um, is that any way
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618. to talk around my mum?
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619. - Your mum?
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620. - Ha ha.
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621. - Wait, this is your mother?
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622. - Hello, love.
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623. - On "America Sings",
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624. you said your mother was
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625. gravely ill and needed surgery.
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626. - Yeah, I said that
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627. to get sympathy.
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628. - You silly Americans are
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629. suckers for a good sob story.
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630. - Whoops, Mum!
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631. You got six months to live.
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632. - Blimey!
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633. - Here!
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634. Just take your video and go.
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635. You're the one
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636. who said we owed this guy.
Copy !req
637. - Yeah, well, not anymore!
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638. You know,
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639. I felt guilty using iCarly
Copy !req
640. to help David Archuleta win.
Copy !req
641. But now I know
Copy !req
642. we did the right thing.
Copy !req
643. You didn't deserve to win.
Copy !req
644. - Give me my video!
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645. - Hey!
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646. - Get her, Mum!
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647. - Aah! Aah!
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648. Get her off! Get her off!
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649. Blimey!
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650. - Excuse me, Miss?
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651. - What's up?
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652. - I received this letter
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653. from your store claiming
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654. that I never returned my copy of
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655. "Boogie Bear Takes Manhattan."
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656. - Oh, yeah. When was it due?
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657. - 10 years ago.
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658. Yikes.
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659. You're a little late.
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660. - No, because I did return
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661. the video.
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662. - Oh, you did?
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663. - No, I'm sorry!
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664. I didn't return the video!
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665. I watched it
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666. at my buddy Socko's house
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667. and his mom got mad
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668. because we spilled gravy
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669. on her carpet
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670. and she threw me out
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671. and I thought I left
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672. the video there, but I didn't.
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673. He says I didn't
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674. and I thought I did
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675. and I looked for it everywhere
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676. and I'm sorry, I don't—
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677. I didn't mean to lie.
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678. I don't like lying.
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679. I don't like the way it feels.
Copy !req
680. And you know I tell my sister,
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681. uh, don't lie.
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682. I tell my little sister
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683. you shouldn't lie.
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684. It's not good. It's bad.
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685. I—I—honesty is the best
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686. policy, right?
Copy !req
687. But, you know, Sam, her friend,
Copy !req
688. was telling me how to lie
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689. and that makes me nauseous and
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690. I feel queasy and I don't feel—
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691. Dude, my boss just
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692. sends those letters out
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693. to scare people.
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694. - He does?
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695. That's not cool.
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696. - I'll just take it
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697. out of the computer.
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698. No worries.
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699. - Swear?
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700. Yeah.
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701. - You're very nice.
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702. - You're very— cute.
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703. - Really?
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704. Uh-huh.
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705. - Wanna visit
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706. my summer home in Prague
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707. and meet my cousin the pope?
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708. Yeah, I knew you'd giggle.
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709. - And now Freddie
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710. will read the next question—
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711. - Sent in to us at iCarly.com.
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712. - Fredderly?
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713. - "Dear Carly and Sam, do you
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714. guys ever work out at a gym?".
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715. - Excellent question.
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716. - We did work out at a gym
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717. last summer.
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718. Freddie, can you cue
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719. the video of me and Carls
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720. from last summer?
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721. - Sure will.
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722. - We're bodybuilders.
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723. Look how big our muscles are.
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724. You wish you were us.
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725. - We're superhumans.
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726. Okay, last week
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727. we promised to show you guys
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728. an original Wade Collins
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729. music video.
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730. - But then we learned
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731. that wade collins is
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732. a big ol' jerk-face.
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733. - A raging jerk-a-holic.
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734. - Worst guy ever.
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735. - We hate him
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736. with all our hearts.
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737. - But if you don't believe us—
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738. - Take it from someone
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739. who's worked closely with him
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740. on "America Sings".
Copy !req
741. - Look out, people.
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742. - 'Cause here comes...
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743. David Archuleta.
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744. - Hi.
Copy !req
745. - Hey, David.
Copy !req
746. - Archuleta!
Copy !req
747. - Thanks for comin' on the show.
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748. - Well, thanks for having me.
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749. I'm a huge fan of iCarly.
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750. - Who isn't?
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751. - Uh, losers.
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752. - Exactly.
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753. So, David,
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754. what was it like
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755. hangin' out with Wade Collins?
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756. - Oh, well, you know, he's okay.
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757. - You don't like him, do you?
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758. - Not really. No.
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759. - Let it out, David.
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760. - Well, he called me
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761. a hob-knocker.
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762. I don't even know
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763. what that means.
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764. - Oh, gross!
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765. - And illegal.
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766. - The important thing is
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767. we all agree
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768. that Wade Collins is horrible.
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769. - But just in case
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770. you don't believe me,
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771. Carly, or David...
Copy !req
772. - Please enjoy this little video
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773. Freddie put together.
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774. Freddie, roll the video.
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775. - Happy to, Carly.
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776. - I wanted tuna fish!
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777. I've got a pimple in my ear.
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778. Too hot—hot—hot!
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779. - I'm sorry.
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780. - You're a stupid American,
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781. Freddie, stupid American.
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782. Ah-choo!
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783. You're a bunch of
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784. stupid American girls!
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785. You bunch of hob-knockers!
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786. I don't care about music!
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787. I want money!
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788. Hob-hob-hob-knocker!
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789. I have to look beautiful!
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790. Jibley!
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791. Unngh!
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792. I hate children!
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793. I hate teenagers!
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794. I hate animals!
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795. And I hate America!
Copy !req
796. - Isn't he charming?
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797. - Now, if you're an American
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798. and you found some
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799. of Wade's comments offensive—
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800. - And you'd like to have
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801. a chat with him about it...
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802. - He's staying
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803. at the Chambrulay Hotel,
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804. right here in Seattle.
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805. - 721 Baker Street.
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806. - Should we tell 'em what room?
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807. - I don't think we should.
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808. - Room 513.
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809. - That's 5-1-3.
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810. And remember,
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811. if you're an American...
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812. - He hates you.
Copy !req
813. - And thinks you can't
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814. beat him up.
Copy !req
815. - Okay, before we go—
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816. - You guys wanna hear
Copy !req
817. David Archuleta sing?
Copy !req
818. - Well, he's not gonna!
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819. - Sore throat, sorry.
Copy !req
820. - But we do have
Copy !req
821. some good music for you guys.
Copy !req
822. - Please enjoy
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823. my brother Spencer
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824. who's gonna play us out
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825. on his little banjo.
Copy !req
826. - Guess what's happening
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827. at iCarly.com.
Copy !req
828. - Do you realize what's
Copy !req
829. happening at iCarly.com?
Copy !req
830. - Tell 'em.
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831. - I don't know.
Copy !req
832. - Well, guess.
Copy !req
833. - Guess?
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834. - Yeah. Guess what happens
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835. if you go to iCarly.com.
Copy !req
836. - Um, can I win free food
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837. at iCarly.com?
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838. - No!
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839. - Can I get a hot boyfriend at
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840. iCarly.com?
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841. - No!
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842. Can I eliminate my enemies
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843. at iCarly.com?
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844. - Yes! Wait, no!
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845. - Can my mom refinance
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846. her mortgage at iCarly.com?
Copy !req
847. - Not really!
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848. Can I catch a disease
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849. at iCarly.com?
Copy !req
850. - No, but you can see
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851. tons of funny cool stuff that
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852. you can't see anywhere else.
Copy !req
853. - But I can see this funny cool
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854. stuff at iCarly.com?
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855. - Yes, you can!
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856. - I—I love sugar!
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857. - Random.
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858. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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859. - Whoa.
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860. - Whoa.
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861. - Whoa.
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