iCarly 2x1

Directed by Adam Weissman

James Maslow as Shane • Bryan Coffee as Hal • Marilyn Sue Perry as Nurse Vullen • Katherine M. Ellis as Rebecca Berkowitz • Andrew Sibner as Bobby

In the second-season opener, Carly and Sam both develop a crush on Freddie's "nerd" pal, Shane. When they cannot decide who should date him, they decide to go by the first one to kiss him. They constantly try to kiss him, and always become unseccessful. Meanwhile, Spencer hires a repairman to fix the elevator, but the repairman proves to be no help at all, just a dancer. Because of the broken elevator, Shane accidentally falls from the iCarly studio to the basement when he finds out that Sam and Carly are competing for him. When the gang visits him at the hospital Carly kisses him.

Request examples:

!req iCarly 2x1 [02:32]
!req iCarly 2x1 [iCarly 2x1]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req iCarly 2x1 [10-11]; !req iCarly 2x1 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. - Here.

2. What's wrong?

3. - You asked me

4. what I wanted to drink

5. and I said iced tea with lemon.

6. - Oh, I forgot the ice.

7. - And the lemon.

8. - You know what's weird?

9. - What?

10. - That I keep

11. inviting you over!

12. Aw man. Aww.

13. Hey.

14. - What up with the elevator?

15. I don't know.

16. It keeps breaking

17. and getting stuck like this.

18. - Come on in.

19. - All right,

20. who's ready to do a web show?

21. - Hi, Freddie.

22. - Hey, Spencer.

23. - The elevator

24. keeps getting stuck.

25. - Ah.

26. Ooh, are those cashews?

27. I love cashews.

28. - Why does your voice

29. sound deeper?

30. - I don't know. Puberty?

31. - Should I, like, call for help

32. or something?

33. Nah. I think

34. I can get out.

35. The problem is this machine.

36. - What machine?

37. - It's a smoker.

38. - A smoker?

39. Yeah.

40. You know, how sometimes

41. when you go to concerts

42. and they have smoke

43. all over the stage?

44. - Yeah.

45. - Sure.

46. Well, my buddy Jeff is in a

47. band and they needed one,

48. so I borrowed this smoker

49. from Socko.

50. I can almost fit it

51. through here.

52. Come on, you smoker!

53. - Hey, we got to start

54. "iCarly" in 10 minutes.

55. - Where's your tech

56. wizard friend?

57. - Yeah, where's your nerd?

58. - He'll be here in a sec.

59. And he's not a nerd.

60. - But I thought you said

61. you know him from the AV Club.

62. - Yes, so?

63. Just 'cause we're

64. in the AV Club,

65. that automatically

66. makes us nerds?

67. Aah!

68. Stupid smoker machine. Come on.

69. - You sure you don't want me

70. to call for help?

71. Yes. Oh, no.

72. Wait. Wait.

73. Call for help.

74. In five, four,

75. three, two—

76. ♪ I know you see somehow

77. - In five, four, three, two—

78. - I'm Sam.

79. - Carly here.

80. - And this is "iCarly."

81. - To start the show,

82. Sam and I will now speed walk

83. in a circle

84. for no apparent reason.

85. And now—

86. - Come in.

87. - Ah, hello.

88. Who's there?

89. - Uh... I'm Shane.

90. - Freddie's nerd friend?

91. - Um... uh... I guess.

92. - Over here.

93. Hey, the elevator's stuck.

94. - Sorry. Listen, I'm really

95. late. I need—

96. - Yeah. Freddie's upstairs

97. doing the show

98. with Carly and Sam right now,

99. you can just take the stairs.

100. - Thanks.

101. - Wait, you're not a nerd.

102. You're kind of handsome.

103. - Thanks.

104. - Next, Sam and I

105. will stuff blueberries

106. up our noses.

107. - Zoom in on this, Fredward.

108. - Yeah.

109. This is classic stuff.

110. And now, I will hula dance

111. like an idiot while Sam plays...

112. - The trombone, baby.

113. - Okay, on a live web show

114. like "iCarly"--

115. - You never know

116. what might happen.

117. - Like a friend of Freddie's

118. just walked in.

119. - He's brand-new at our school.

120. - And he's gonna help us

121. show you guys

122. a super cool experiment.

123. - With magnetism.

124. - So let's meet

125. Freddie's nice friend.

126. - Yes, let's meet him

127. immediately.

128. - Come on, don't be shy.

129. - Yeah, come here,

130. whatever your name is.

131. - His name's Shane.

132. - Shane.

133. - Hi, Shane.

134. - Hi.

135. - So you're in the AV Club

136. with Freddie?

137. - Oh, yeah. Sure am.

138. - Oh, wow. That's so awesome.

139. - And what's cooler

140. than a guy in the AV Club?

141. - Nothing.

142. - Guys. Guys,

143. the web show?

144. - Oh, right.

145. Up—coming up soon,

146. Shane's gonna help Sam and me

147. show you guys a little—

148. Magnets. Magnets.

149. - Magnets. Magnets.

150. - And now, as you can see,

151. Shane is attaching

152. magnetic cuffs to our wrists.

153. - And the wires from the cuffs

154. lead to a device called...

155. - Tell them, Shane.

156. - Cool.

157. - You're so smart.

158. - Now, I will put one foot

159. into a bucket of vinegar.

160. Hmm. Yes.

161. - And I will put my foot

162. into a bucket of goat's milk.

163. - Power it up.

164. Powering up.

165. - And now, watch what happens

166. when we touch our tongues

167. to each end of this crystal rod.

168. - Isn't this cool.

169. Ta-da!

170. - Hey.

171. Either of you guys seen Shane?

172. - No, why?

173. Is he coming by here?

174. - What time?

175. - Well, calm down.

176. I was just wondering

177. if you saw him.

178. I needed to give him back

179. his flash drive.

180. - Let me do it!

181. - Okay! I'll handle it.

182. Crazies.

183. - So, you kind of like Shane,

184. right?

185. - Yeah.

186. Um, do you think it'd be crazy

187. if I ask him out?

188. - Um, well, no.

189. It's just that—

190. - What?

191. You think he'd think

192. I was being too pushy,

193. too desperate?

194. - No.

195. - Well, tell me

196. what you're thinking.

197. - I was thinking

198. about asking him out.

199. - Oh.

200. Um—

201. - Yeah.

202. - I think the only way

203. to be fair here

204. is to honor the girl code.

205. - So, whoever saw him first—

206. - Gets to date him.

207. - Agreed.

208. - Good.

209. So I'm gonna

210. ask him out.

211. Okay, stop.

212. I guess it's kind of hard

213. to tell.

214. - Yeah.

215. I saw him first.

216. - I saw him first.

217. Play it back

218. frame by frame.

219. - Yeah. Frame by frame.

220. - I just said frame by frame.

221. - I also said it.

222. - All right. Take a look.

223. - Okay.

224. - Coming up.

225. - About to happen.

226. - Here it comes.

227. There. A dead tie.

228. So, I guess, neither of you

229. can go out with Shane.

230. Oh, too bad. Bye.

231. - So what are we gonna do?

232. - Okay.

233. Who says we can't both go

234. out with him?

235. - Don't you think the two of us

236. going out with the same guy

237. could be kinda dangerous?

238. - No, it's not like we're

239. talking about marrying the guy.

240. - Okay.

241. And you know

242. why this is gonna work?

243. - 'Cause we're best friends.

244. - Uh-huh.

245. And we're never gonna let

246. some guy wreck that.

247. - Not in this lifetime.

248. - No way.

249. - We're gonna be super mature

250. about this.

251. - Yup.

252. - Good.

253. I'm gonna call Shane right now

254. and ask him out.

255. - Not without your cell phone,

256. you're not.

257. - Sam!

258. - I was just kidding.

259. - I know.

260. Give me back my sim card.

261. - So you think

262. it will work now?

263. - Should. Rewired the buttons.

264. - Mm-hmm.

265. - Reset the gears.

266. - Yeah.

267. - Greased the shaft.

268. - Right.

269. - Should run fine now.

270. - Great.

271. - Is everybody okay?

272. What was that crash?

273. - We're fine.

274. The elevator just dropped

275. nine floors to the basement.

276. - Yeah.

277. How would I get down there?

278. - I don't know.

279. I guess the stairs.

280. - Can you show me the stairs?

281. - Yeah.

282. If you promise not to fix 'em.

283. - Hey, you guys hear

284. that huge crash?

285. - Everybody's a critic.

286. Hey.

287. - Hey. Where have you been?

288. We got a ton of "iCarly" stuff

289. to rehearse.

290. - Oh, I was just getting

291. my homework done early.

292. - You were getting

293. your homework done early?

294. For what class?

295. - The—you know,

296. the one with the teacher...

297. who says things.

298. - You can tell me

299. if you were with Shane.

300. Remember, we're gonna be mature

301. about this.

302. - Okay, I was with Shane.

303. - Fine.

304. Where?

305. - He bought me a smoothie.

306. - Oh, cool.

307. He bought me a smoothie

308. last night.

309. - Oh, nice.

310. What size?

311. - Medium.

312. - Aww.

313. - That's all I wanted.

314. - Did he tell you

315. that you have a cute nose?

316. - No.

317. - Interesting.

318. - Why? Did he tell you

319. you have a cute nose?

320. - Oh, maybe.

321. I don't remember. Yes.

322. - Did you feel his arm muscles?

323. - No.

324. - Oh.

325. Well, they're large.

326. - You didn't feel

327. his arm muscles.

328. - Yes, I did too,

329. he told me that he can beat his

330. dad in arm wrestling

331. and I said, "No way,"

332. he said, "It's true."

333. And I said, "You must be

334. really strong,"

335. he said, "I work out

336. a little bit,"

337. I said, "Really?"

338. and he said, "Yeah.

339. You wanna feel my biceps?"

340. and I said, "Sure, I do."

341. And so I felt them

342. and they felt awesome.

343. - I think that's great.

344. - Good.

345. - But wouldn't it

346. just be easier

347. if you wrote "I'm desperate"

348. on your forehead?

349. - You take that back.

350. - You take it back.

351. - Take what back?

352. - Well, I don't know.

353. Just take it back.

354. - Stop dating Shane.

355. - You stop.

356. - No.

357. - I saw the boy first.

358. - We saw him simultaneously.

359. - You're just jealous 'cause he

360. said I had the cute nose.

361. - When he said that,

362. did he also mention

363. that booger in it?

364. - There's no booger in my nose.

365. - Well, I don't even care

366. 'cause I have a date

367. with Shane tonight.

368. - Obviously.

369. - What's that supposed to mean?

370. - Why don't you ask

371. your new helping bra?

372. - That's it! I'm out of here.

373. This is my house.

374. There's nothing wrong

375. with a little help.

376. - Hey.

377. - Hi.

378. - I feel really bad

379. about our fight.

380. - I do too.

381. - Brought you some

382. makeup cookies. Try one.

383. - You try one first.

384. - Okay.

385. I can't believe you think

386. I'd poison the cookies.

387. - Well, with me out of the way,

388. you'd have an all-access pass

389. to club Shane.

390. Mmm, really good.

391. - Thanks.

392. - Hey, hey.

393. I see cookies.

394. - Go for it.

395. - Ooh, all right.

396. Mmm. Who made them?

397. - Sam.

398. It's okay. She didn't put

399. anything bad in them.

400. - Yeah, but when

401. was the last time

402. Sam washed her hands?

403. - So, what are we gonna do

404. about this whole Shane thing?

405. - I don't know.

406. - Well, I thought you guys

407. decided you'd both date him.

408. - We did.

409. - Not workin' out too well.

410. - Okay, so why don't you

411. just let Sam date Shane

412. and you find someone else

413. to date?

414. - Why?

415. - 'Cause I'm lonely

416. and available.

417. - Hey, man.

418. - Hey.

419. - We got an AV Club meeting.

420. - Oh, right.

421. - Hey, Carly. Hey, Sam.

422. - Hi.

423. - Hey.

424. - Let's go.

425. - Whoa, whoa.

426. Uh, your hair looks

427. a little weird

428. in the front here.

429. - It looks fine.

430. - Uh, you made it worse.

431. - No, I didn't.

432. - Yes, you did.

433. - No, I didn't.

434. - See, it looked fine—

435. —this way.

436. - Guys. Guys!

437. Come on, Shane.

438. - I'll—I'll see you later.

439. - Okay.

440. - Okay. Bye.

441. - Call me.

442. - Text me.

443. Okay. Obviously, only one of us

444. can date Shane

445. unless we wanna end up

446. murdering each other.

447. - So, we flip a coin?

448. - Nah, I don't think

449. we should decide this randomly.

450. - Then what? We let Shane pick?

451. - Yes.

452. I got it.

453. - Go.

454. - Whichever one of us

455. Shane kisses first

456. gets to date him.

457. - Rules?

458. - We can't kiss him.

459. He has to kiss one of us.

460. - Terms of the kiss?

461. - It has to be lips to lips...

462. - I enjoy lips to lips.

463. - ... and it has to last

464. at least three seconds.

465. - Or longer.

466. - Yes. Longer would be nice.

467. - How long do you think

468. it'll take

469. before the elevator's fixed?

470. - I don't know,

471. three or four.

472. - Three or four what?

473. Days? Weeks? Months?

474. - Yeah. Maybe five.

475. - Five what?

476. - Look, buddy,

477. I'm just a dancer.

478. - You're not a dancer.

479. - Five, six, seven, eight.

480. Paa!

481. - I'm sorry.

482. - Not for nine billion dollars.

483. - Don't worry.

484. I don't wanna kiss you.

485. But I do want you

486. to win this Shane contest.

487. - You don't want me to win.

488. You just want Carly to lose.

489. - That is—true.

490. 'Cause if you're dating Shane,

491. that'll make Carly

492. want a boyfriend.

493. Then, I get—

494. - Whoa, whoa.

495. Shh, shh. Here he comes.

496. Go, go.

497. No. Go, go.

498. - Okay, fine.

499. - Oh, hi, Shane.

500. - Oh, hey, Sam.

501. A kissing booth?

502. - Uh-huh.

503. - Yeah, what, uh,

504. charity does the money go to?

505. - Oh, you know, that charity

506. that helps old people

507. become less... irritating.

508. - Well, I'd love to help out.

509. You know, I left my wallet

510. in my locker.

511. - Ah, Bobby, come here.

512. - What?

513. - Loan Shane a dollar.

514. - Uh, o-okay.

515. - Oh, hey, later, okay?

516. If I'm late to class again,

517. Mr. Kaplan will kill me.

518. - But—

519. - I don't think I have a dollar.

520. What can I get with ¢50?

521. - I'll spit on you.

522. - Deal.

523. - Get out of here.

524. - Shane!

525. Come on in.

526. - Um, if we're gonna

527. catch the movie,

528. we should go now before the—

529. - You know what?

530. Let's just blow off the movie

531. and hang out here.

532. - Uh, sure.

533. - Let's sit down on the couch.

534. - Okay.

535. - Iced coffee?

536. - Thanks.

537. - Use the coaster.

538. - Okay.

539. Uh, I don't see where—

540. - Oh, under the blue folder.

541. - Oh, there they are.

542. "A Chance for Romance,"

543. an original play by Carly Shay.

544. - Yeah.

545. - I didn't know you write plays.

546. - Well, I do sometimes.

547. Anyway, um, I'm gonna perform

548. this one in class,

549. but I can't find anyone

550. to rehearse it with.

551. - Oh, well, uh, you know,

552. I've been in a couple of plays.

553. - Okay.

554. Oh, look, here's another copy.

555. Page nine. You start.

556. - Okay.

557. Mabel, you look so beautiful

558. in the moonlight.

559. - Oh, Bruno, thanks.

560. You rock for saying that.

561. - Mabel, I love you.

562. - I love you, too,

563. but our parents,

564. they'll never let us

565. be together.

566. - I know, but still,

567. we have this moment.

568. Here, now.

569. - But what if someone

570. should see us?

571. - Shh, shh, shh.

572. You talk too much.

573. It says— It says that Bruno

574. kisses Mabel passionately

575. for at least three seconds.

576. - Oh, yeah. Look at that.

577. It sure does.

578. - I don't know if it's okay—

579. - Oh, this is acting.

580. We're being actors right now,

581. and a good actor always follows

582. the script, right?

583. Here, I'll take it from—

584. But what if someone

585. should see us?

586. - Okay.

587. Shh, shh, shh.

588. You talk too much.

589. - Hey, look!

590. - What?

591. - I made toast by leaving

592. a piece of bread in the sun

593. next to a mirror

594. and some tin foil.

595. - No way!

596. - Yeah, come look.

597. I'll show you my rig.

598. - Cool.

599. - Here he comes.

600. Sam!

601. Oh man, she's unconscious.

602. - Hey, what's wrong with Sam?

603. - I don't think

604. she's breathing,

605. but I don't know what to do,

606. you better take over.

607. Come on, you know how to do

608. mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

609. - Yeah. I was certified

610. in CPR last year.

611. - Well, get to it, man.

612. - Okay, okay.

613. Out of my way!

614. Give me some room! Move!

615. - Wait. I'm feeling better.

616. - Just hold still!

617. - I'm fine, all right?

618. - I'm gonna report you

619. to the principal

620. for impersonating a sick person.

621. What is your name?

622. - Rebecca Berkowitz!

623. I'll text you later.

624. - I'm back.

625. - The electricity still out?

626. - Uh, yeah.

627. Here, have a strawberry.

628. - Thanks.

629. - So, where were we?

630. - Uh, can we take a break?

631. I can't really see my book

632. in this light.

633. - Sure.

634. That's a great idea.

635. You're full of great ideas.

636. - How is the stereo working?

637. - What do you mean?

638. - You said the electricity

639. was out.

640. - Oh, right.

641. Well, I guess some of it

642. came back on.

643. - But if the stereo—

644. - Ow, ow, ow!

645. What—

646. - There's something in my eye.

647. - Oh.

648. - Uh, can you see anything?

649. There might be an eyelash

650. in there.

651. Uh, look in my eye.

652. - It's hard to see

653. in this light.

654. - Oh, then I'll get closer.

655. Um, see anything weird?

656. - Uh, no. But—

657. - But what?

658. - But you have

659. a really pretty eye.

660. - Yeah?

661. You think so?

662. - Uh-huh.

663. - What up? What up?

664. What up?

665. Wow, it's so dark in here.

666. - Uh, foul!

667. - What foul?

668. - You intentionally sabotaged

669. my moment.

670. - How could I intentionally

671. sabotage—

672. - Shane was totally about

673. to kiss me.

674. - Really?

675. - Girls—

676. - You know what you did?

677. - No, I know what

678. the deal was.

679. - This isn't fair. It's not

680. fair. You sabotaged me.

681. - Girls!

682. I don't know

683. what's up with you two,

684. but I've had enough of it!

685. I've seen girls

686. get competitive

687. over a guy before,

688. but you two are out of control.

689. - Wait, Shane—

690. - You girls call me

691. when you learn to be

692. a little more—

693. - He looks so... broken.

694. - Poor Shane.

695. - He'll be all right.

696. - How long before he's up

697. and around?

698. - Hard to say.

699. It could be three, four.

700. - Days?

701. - Weeks?

702. - Maybe five.

703. Dr. Lindy, 03.

704. - I gotta get that.

705. Don't stay too long.

706. Dr. Lindy, pick up 03.

707. - Let's never compete

708. over a guy ever again.

709. - Never.

710. - Good.

711. - Well, come on,

712. the hospital cafeteria

713. has turkey fingers.

714. - I'm up for food.

715. - Surprise, surprise.

716. - I win.

717. - Okay. I can't brush

718. my teeth like this.

719. - Why not?

720. - It's too quiet.

721. Mmm!