iCarly 1x24

1. - Okay.

2. - To wrap up this webcast—

3. Each of us

4. is gonna paint a picture

5. in only 10 seconds.

6. And then you,

7. the "iCarly" viewers,

8. are gonna vote online

9. for whose painting is best.

10. Now guess

11. what we're gonna paint on.

12. It's our wacky,

13. little friend, Gibby.

14. Are you ready there, Gibby?

15. Sure. Whatever.

16. Ten seconds on the clock.

17. And go.

18. Try not to move.

19. Hold still, Gibby.

20. - Five seconds.

21. - The brushes tickle.

22. Time.

23. Okay.

24. Now here's my painting.

25. Who's that? Freddie?

26. No, it's a clown.

27. Oops. Sorry, clown.

28. And now, let's take a look

29. at Sam's painting.

30. Okay,

31. I have no idea what that is.

32. It's a meatball.

33. Yes, Sam has painted her dream.

34. Okay.

35. Till the next "iCarly."

36. Bye. Ciao.

37. See you.

38. - And we're clear.

39. - Whoo.

40. Hey, you should go

41. rinse the paint off first.

42. You're gonna ruin your shirt.

43. Who cares about my shirt?

44. Who cares about anything?

45. Not me.

46. What's wrong?

47. - I don't wanna talk about it.

48. - Good.

49. Who's up for chicken wings?

50. I know I am.

51. Gibby, seriously,

52. what's the matter?

53. Shannon Mitchell, okay?

54. What about Shannon?

55. What's the prob?

56. I want her to like me,

57. but every time

58. I try to talk to her,

59. I get all shy.

60. Why does she have to be

61. so cute?

62. I'm goin' home.

63. Gibby—

64. I don't wanna talk about it.

65. Aw, poor kid.

66. It must be awful

67. to love someone

68. who doesn't love you back.

69. Sorry.

70. In five, four, three, two...

71. Oh, there he is.

72. Hey, Gibby.

73. What's up?

74. We came up with a great way

75. to set you up with Shannon.

76. How?

77. On the next "iCarly,"

78. we're gonna play a game

79. called "I win a date."

80. - "I win a date"?

81. - Yeah.

82. And you're gonna be

83. the special mystery date.

84. And we're gonna get Shannon

85. to be one of the contestants.

86. So that way—

87. Who's your friend

88. and why is he staring at me

89. like a freak?

90. Oh, this is Reuben.

91. Sorry.

92. It's like you were

93. born sideways

94. over the moon

95. with 21/2 scoops.

96. Zipang.

97. Okay, I think

98. I gotta punch this kid

99. in the mouth.

100. Wait, I think

101. he might be complimenting you.

102. Was that a compliment?

103. Hey, just 'cause

104. I bump the chump

105. doesn't mean

106. I lost my bingo trap.

107. That is so true.

108. No. No.

109. Stephanie, I really don't think

110. we should go out again.

111. Come on, I didn't say

112. I had a bad time last night.

113. It's just— Stephanie—

114. Step— Steph—

115. because I don't like you.

116. So, I guess your blind date

117. went pretty well last night.

118. She brought her pet

119. unicorn to dinner.

120. There's no such thing

121. as unicorns.

122. Try telling her that.

123. I'm just gonna stay single

124. the rest of my life.

125. They'll call me

126. "Single Spencer,"

127. the guy with no lady to hold.

128. Why don't you try

129. one of those dating websites

130. like whynotdateme.com,

131. you know,

132. where lonely adults

133. find even lonelier adults?

134. Sounds so tempting.

135. At least you get to see a video

136. of the person

137. before you go on a date.

138. Yeah, but those websites

139. are just so—

140. Hello?

141. Stephanie.

142. Stephanie—

143. No, I will not speak

144. to your unicorn.

145. Because he's not real.

146. That website again?

147. Hey, Shannon.

148. - Hey.

149. - Hey.

150. So, listen, you guys wanna be

151. on the next "iCarly"?

152. - Definitely.

153. - Oh, my God.

154. What are we gonna do?

155. Well, let's just say one of you

156. is gonna win a date

157. with an awesome guy.

158. - Freddie?

159. - I said "awesome guy,"

160. not "ridiculous goob."

161. I think Freddie

162. is cute and smart.

163. Okay,

164. what'd you eat for breakfast?

165. A big bowl of crazy flakes?

166. There's my raspberry

167. soccer ball.

168. And speakin' of crazy flakes,

169. it's you.

170. Hello there.

171. My name is Spencer Shay.

172. Hello.

173. I've never used an Internet

174. dating service before,

175. but my sister told me

176. about this one,

177. whynotdateme.com.

178. So, why not date me?

179. I enjoy people.

180. What are you doing?

181. Making a video

182. for whynotdateme.com.

183. Give me the remote.

184. What's wrong?

185. You're not being you.

186. You gotta be looser.

187. How do I not look—

188. Your shirt should be out,

189. these buttons should be undone,

190. and your hair needs

191. some of this.

192. There.

193. What did you put in your hair?

194. - Chicken fat.

195. - Oh, my God.

196. Gibby,

197. ready to play "I win a date"?

198. Shannon's really in there?

199. Right through that door.

200. Man, this is intense.

201. Just remember,

202. all your voices are gonna be

203. electronically disguised.

204. Why?

205. To keep your identities

206. a mystery.

207. Then how will I know

208. which one is Shannon?

209. - She'll be girl number—

210. - You can't just tell him.

211. We have to keep

212. the game real and fair.

213. But what if I don't pick

214. Shannon?

215. Listen, there'll be

216. three girls out there.

217. Girl number one,

218. girl number two,

219. and girl number three.

220. But how will I know

221. which one is Shannon?

222. If you really want two

223. go on a date with Shannon,

224. then you need two

225. choose carefully.

226. That's all you have two—

227. Two—

228. do.

229. Okay.

230. Hey, you guys

231. better come in here.

232. Be right back.

233. - What?

234. - What's up?

235. Um,

236. Celine and Julia aren't coming.

237. - What?

238. - Why aren't they coming?

239. They got tickets

240. to see "Girly Cow on Ice."

241. Why is it that whenever

242. there's a popular TV show,

243. they just gotta go

244. put it on ice?

245. Guys, we have seven minutes

246. to figure out

247. how we're gonna play

248. "I win a date"

249. without girl number one

250. or girl number three.

251. Oh, Freddie,

252. you're so good at math.

253. Well, let's hope he's good

254. at hosting a game show.

255. Pardon?

256. And one, two, three, four, go.

257. Hello there.

258. My name's Freddie,

259. and here tonight

260. on this special webcast

261. of "iCarly,"

262. we're gonna play

263. a new game called—

264. "I win a date."

265. Okay. First, let's meet

266. our mystery date.

267. Now, keep in mind,

268. his voice has been disguised

269. so that our girl contestants

270. won't recognize him.

271. Hello, mystery date.

272. Hi.

273. It's great to be here, Freddie.

274. And now,

275. let's meet our three girls.

276. Remember, their voices

277. have also been disguised.

278. Hello, girl number one.

279. Hello,

280. Freddie, nice to see you.

281. Wow, my voice sounds so weird.

282. That's so cool.

283. Nice to see you.

284. And girl number two.

285. Hi, Freddie.

286. And, uh, girl number three.

287. Hey, Fredward.

288. How's it hangin'?

289. And those are the three girls

290. competing to win a date

291. with our mystery man.

292. Whichever girl he picks

293. will join him

294. on a romantic dinner for two

295. at the Cheesecake Warehouse.

296. Awesome.

297. Now, mystery man,

298. you ask the questions,

299. listen to the girls'

300. answers carefully,

301. and then, when it's all over,

302. it will be up to you

303. to choose your girl.

304. Begin.

305. Okay. Girl number one.

306. Yes?

307. What is your favorite type

308. of music?

309. What's your least favorite?

310. I guess rap.

311. Oh, well, I love rap.

312. Yeah, rap music.

313. I listen to it all the time.

314. Rap is tight, yo.

315. Okay, girl number two.

316. I guess my fave music

317. would either be

318. rock 'n roll or pop.

319. Hey, me too.

320. Cool.

321. How about you,

322. girl number three?

323. Okay.

324. Where is girl number three?

325. Mmm.

326. I loves me the cold chili.

327. Okay, mystery date.

328. You have time

329. for one final question.

330. Cool. Girl number two.

331. If one day we were married,

332. how would you wake me up

333. in the morning?

334. Well, I'd say,

335. "Wake up, sleepy head,"

336. then I'll bring you

337. a super nice breakfast in bed.

338. Sweet.

339. Girl number one,

340. how would you wake me up?

341. I'd yell,

342. "Get up and go get a job,

343. you lazy sack,"

344. and then I'd pour hot soup

345. on your face.

346. All right, mystery date.

347. That's the end

348. of the final round.

349. Who will be your lucky date

350. to the Cheesecake Warehouse?

351. It's time to choose.

352. Well, um, I-I gotta go with

353. girl number one.

354. Yay! Congratulate— What?

355. What?

356. What?

357. Why'd you pick me?

358. You were supposed

359. to pick Shannon.

360. I didn't know Carly

361. was girl number one.

362. It doesn't matter, anyway.

363. Shannon likes Freddie.

364. No, don't worry about that.

365. I'm in love with someone else.

366. - Not happening.

367. - I know.

368. Sorry I ruined everything.

369. And don't worry,

370. you don't have to go

371. on a date with me.

372. It'll be fun.

373. You know, cheesecake

374. and you and me

375. and oh.

376. Hey, wanna give me

377. a ride to school?

378. Sure, but I—

379. - Come check this out first.

380. - What?

381. I made a new video

382. for whynotdateme.com.

383. You know,

384. looser like you suggested.

385. Cool. Let's see it.

386. Hey, there.

387. The name is Spencer.

388. What's with the baseball?

389. It's to make me look sporty.

390. Shh.

391. If you're looking for a fun,

392. creative guy,

393. well, then,

394. you just took a right turn

395. down the lucky street.

396. Why don't you go ahead

397. and put it in park.

398. Send me an email.

399. Write it, click it, send it.

400. You just took a right turn

401. down lucky street?

402. That doesn't make

403. a girl wanna email you.

404. That makes a girl wanna go—

405. All right.

406. I'll make a new video.

407. Good.

408. Now, what did you break

409. with your baseball?

410. - Nothin'.

411. - Did you kill our gold fish?

412. Yes.

413. I think he wanted to die.

414. That fish had hopes and dreams.

415. Um, hey, Carly.

416. I-I made reservations

417. at the Cheesecake Warehouse

418. for tonight at seven,

419. unless you decided

420. that you don't wanna go.

421. Of course, I wanna go.

422. We're gonna have a great time.

423. Just you and me

424. alone at the table

425. for three hours.

426. Oh.

427. Hey, how about a pop

428. for the boomerang?

429. He wants to know

430. if you want a double date,

431. you and me, him and Sam.

432. Yes.

433. Sam would love that.

434. It's a date, a double date.

435. Yay, Sam will be so happy.

436. Okay. Well, see you there.

437. Tell Sam I'll be ready

438. to hang my socks

439. on the monkey parade.

440. Absolutely.

441. These are love notes.

442. Uh-oh. From Shannon?

443. Uh-huh.

444. And try taking a test

445. while she's staring at you

446. like this.

447. Please never make

448. those faces again.

449. What's it gonna take

450. to make Shannon understand

451. I don't wanna go out with her?

452. Uh...

453. Maybe you should go out

454. with Shannon.

455. Why? I thought you were

456. still trying

457. to get her and Gibby

458. together.

459. I am. I have my date

460. with Gibby tonight,

461. and Sam is going with Reuben.

462. - Sam and Reuben?

463. - Long story.

464. But, you should invite Shannon,

465. so we can try

466. to make her like Gibby.

467. If that'll get her

468. to leave me alone, fine.

469. - Then, tonight we triple date.

470. - What triple date?

471. Carly and Gibby,

472. me and Shannon, you and Reuben.

473. You set me up with Reuben?

474. - No, no, no, not me.

475. - No.

476. Get her off of me.

477. Get her off of me.

478. Get her off.

479. - Help. Help. Help. Help.

480. - It was me.

481. - I set you up with Reuben.

482. - Why would you—

483. Because he wanted

484. to go out with you

485. and I didn't wanna be alone

486. with Gibby for three hours.

487. - Well, I'm not going.

488. - Oh, yes, you are.

489. - You wanna know why?

490. - Why?

491. 'Cause when you're mother

492. got chickenpox,

493. I helped you

494. rubbed calamine lotion

495. all over that woman,

496. and those pox where everywhere.

497. You're a good friend.

498. - No, you didn't.

499. - I swear.

500. - Hey.

501. - Hey, what you doin'?

502. Ah, I just made a new video

503. for whynotdateme.com.

504. My mom got banned

505. from that website.

506. So, let's see your new video.

507. Okay. I try to keep it simple

508. and real.

509. Here, take a look.

510. Just you eating cereal?

511. Uh-huh.

512. How long does it go on?

513. Like nine minutes.

514. Dude.

515. I know. I couldn't think

516. of anything better.

517. I guess

518. I should go take a shower.

519. - Why?

520. - 'Cause I always get

521. my best ideas when I'm wet.

522. Okay.

523. We need a plan for tonight.

524. We got to make sure

525. Shannon ends up with Gibby.

526. Well, Shannon likes Freddie

527. so let's just tell Gibby

528. to act like Freddie.

529. Nah.

530. Gibby has got to be himself.

531. Yeah. Look

532. where that's got him in life.

533. You're so right.

534. These are the biggest salads

535. in the history of mankind.

536. I know. I'm already full

537. and I hadn't even made a dent.

538. I'm out of salad.

539. Wow.

540. You can make a dog bark faster

541. than a fish could climb a tree.

542. True that.

543. True what?

544. So, Freddie,

545. how did you get to know

546. so much about computers?

547. - Oh, actually, I—

548. Oh, Gibby taught me.

549. Didn't you, Gibby?

550. Um, yes.

551. Yes, I-I did.

552. Really? I didn't know

553. you're into computers.

554. What kind do you have?

555. Um, it's white.

556. Well, these salads

557. aren't gonna eat themselves.

558. I think Freddie

559. is such a cute name.

560. Gibby's middle name is Freddie.

561. Really?

562. It sort of is.

563. It's close to Freddie.

564. Well, what is it?

565. Cornelius.

566. Okay. Who could eat

567. a piece of cheesecake this big?

568. Shouldn't there be a law

569. that says,

570. "my dessert

571. can't weigh more than me."

572. I know,

573. might as well tie a knot

574. around two kangaroos.

575. You know what I'm sayin'?

576. No. No, Reuben.

577. I don't know

578. what you're sayin'.

579. Pretty much nobody ever knows

580. what you're sayin'.

581. Know what I'm sayin'?

582. - All right. Let's be cool.

583. - Yeah, Sam.

584. You don't need bubble wrap

585. to know when it's chowder time.

586. Yes. That is so true.

587. And you know what else is true?

588. I'm sitting here

589. eating cheesecake

590. with an Australian Eskimo

591. who's got ointment

592. all over his bumble Berry.

593. Oh, I can't believe

594. you just said that to me.

595. What did you say?

596. I don't know,

597. but I'm glad I said it.

598. Pass the whipped cream.

599. So, how great

600. is this cheesecake?

601. Cheesecake

602. is like my favorite dessert.

603. Gibby invented cheesecake.

604. No, I didn't.

605. Well, someone had to.

606. I'm so confused.

607. Well, don't be.

608. Just love Gibby.

609. Love him and never let him go.

610. What?

611. Look, Shannon.

612. I got a big crush on you,

613. all right?

614. But I know you like Freddie,

615. so I've been trying

616. to act like him

617. so you'll like me.

618. Shhh. It could still work.

619. I don't want it to work.

620. Look, I'm not like Freddie.

621. I don't know about tech stuff.

622. I don't have

623. a boyish cute smile.

624. I'm all Gibby.

625. You know what that means?

626. Tell her what that means,

627. Gibby.

628. It means I like to dance

629. with my shirt off.

630. Turn up the music.

631. And this is the real Gibby.

632. This is what I—

633. Where is Shannon?

634. She fled the restaurant.

635. Oh.

636. Don't be sad, Gibby.

637. Shannon is not so hot.

638. Yeah. You can find

639. a way better girl than her.

640. Sure. Where?

641. Why don't you look right here?

642. I like your moves.

643. Turn the music back up.

644. This is unreal.

645. What's unreal?

646. Well, you know

647. that nine-minute video

648. of me eating cereal,

649. the one you and Sam said

650. was so lame?

651. Which it was.

652. Well, I put it up

653. and guess who's already

654. got nine responses?

655. Wow. So, you got nine dates

656. comin' up.

657. Well, no.

658. See, these four are

659. from women in prison.

660. Ah.

661. And these three are from women

662. who recently got out of prison.

663. Interesting.

664. And these two are

665. from psychologists

666. who feel that they

667. can... help me.

668. Nice.

669. - What about that one?

670. - Oh, that one is new.

671. Hey, she's kind of pretty.

672. - That's a dude.

673. - Oh.

674. Hi.

675. I'm Samantha and my talent

676. is making

677. really cool animal noises.

678. Check it out.

679. Bye. Thanks for listening.