iCarly 1x19

Directed by Roger S. Christiansen

Noah Munck as Gibby Gibson • Debi Derryberry as Principal Franklin's Secretary • Erica Beck as Claire • Missy Doty as Mrs. Rosenthal • Tyler Foden as JD Fallon

Carly's show's 50th airing is coming up but Sam gets detention. Carly and Freddie do bad things to get in detention to shoot the show from there. Meanwhile, Spencer drops his phone into a large coffee cup built by him

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. In five, four, three, two...

2. Hey, it's me. Carly.

3. On the other hand, I'm Sam.

4. And this is "iCarly."

5. Voted the number one web show

6. in the world.

7. - By who?

8. - Me.

9. Then it's official.

10. - Morgan.

11. - Oh, hey daddy.

12. What are you doing?

13. Watching "iCarly" online.

14. Sweetie, I told you,

15. If Daddy doesn't come up

16. with some TV shows

17. that people your age like,

18. Daddy's gonna get fired

19. and have no more money,

20. and then you'll starve.

21. So while I go see my boss,

22. I want you to watch

23. this new show we're making.

24. It's really funny.

25. Okay.

26. But, Michelle, Why would

27. you accept two dates

28. to the prom but not tell

29. either boy about the other?

30. Because, Dad,

31. Luke is so sweet,

32. but Brandon is so hot.

33. Ah, noodles.

34. Lame.

35. And now, we're gonna see

36. what happens when you take

37. an ordinary watermelon—

38. And pump it full

39. of pressurized air.

40. Yeah yeah, pump up the fruit.

41. - C'mon!

42. - It's gonna blow!

43. - It's gonna blow!

44. - C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

45. See, she's right there.

46. Morgan, what are you doing?

47. Watching "iCarly."

48. What is "iCarly?"

49. It's a web show.

50. I thought I told you

51. to watch our new show.

52. It's lame, Daddy.

53. It's lame, Daddy.

54. Now let's see what happens

55. when we pump air

56. into Freddie's pants.

57. Whoa, whoa, wait a second.

58. Yeah, pump up the pants.

59. These are brand new pants.

60. Seriously guys.

61. Come on, Sam.

62. - Not my pants.

63. - Shh. It'll be fun.

64. All right, will one of you

65. help me pull this nozzle out?

66. If you wanna create

67. something good,

68. then why don't you make a show

69. like that one on the internet?

70. You know, the one

71. that's making

72. your daughter laugh.

73. That is an excellent idea.

74. No, no. That's too much air.

75. My pants can't take it.

76. Carly, Sam.

77. - Oh, my God!

78. In five, four, three, two...

79. And so, the hierarchy

80. of the identification system

81. goes kingdom, phylum,

82. class, order, family, genus—

83. Hi.

84. Yes, can I help you?

85. I've come for Carly Shay

86. and her friends,

87. Sam and Freddie.

88. You can't just barge

89. into my classroom

90. and demand to take children

91. away without proper—

92. I run a television network.

93. Oh, help yourself.

94. Hello.

95. I'm the head

96. of development for TVS.

97. We wanna turn "iCarly"

98. into a hit TV show.

99. Will you come with me?

100. Okay.

101. But I should probably

102. call my brother, Spencer.

103. He's the adult

104. that's responsible—

105. Hey.

106. They picked me up

107. on the way here.

108. In a limo!

109. It's full of fancy sodas

110. and fruits

111. I never even heard of.

112. This is a guava.

113. Well, come on.

114. Okay, everyone,

115. now, please sit.

116. Take a seat.

117. Excuse me,

118. I'm Freddie's mother.

119. Yes, please come in,

120. Mrs. Benson.

121. Oh, I will.

122. Now, did you kids like

123. riding in that limousine?

124. - Insane.

125. - Oh, yeah.

126. Well, if you'll agree to do

127. "iCarly" as a regular show here

128. at TVS, you guys can use

129. that limo whenever you want.

130. [slurps

131. Mmm.

132. What country is this soda from?

133. - I don't know.

134. - Well, it's sweet like berries.

135. Thank you.

136. What about stuff like

137. cameras, lighting, audio?

138. Oh, we take care

139. of all those things.

140. We're even gonna recreate

141. your little "iCarly" studio

142. right here at TVS.

143. But then, how does Freddie fit

144. into the TV show?

145. He's going to be "iCarly's"

146. new supervising producer.

147. Supervising producer.

148. Is that dangerous?

149. Does it involve

150. anything sharp or pointy?

151. Mom.

152. What about snacks?

153. Don't TV shows always have

154. a big snack table somewhere?

155. - Yes, of course.

156. - And would there be ribs?

157. - Do you like ribs?

158. - Very much, yes.

159. Then we'll have ribs.

160. I think

161. this could be good for us.

162. Carly, are you in?

163. A TV show, limos, ribs?

164. I'm not stupid. Yeah, I'm in.

165. - Whoo-hoo!

166. Whoa.

167. Oh, my God.

168. They recreated our whole set.

169. Hey, hey.

170. Welcome to television.

171. - Awesome.

172. - Hey. This set looks awesome.

173. - It's so cool.

174. - Yeah.

175. Hey, who are they?

176. That's your new "iCarly" band.

177. We get our own band?

178. Hey, Harper, come over here.

179. What's up, Brad?

180. I want you to meet

181. the "iCarly" team.

182. Oh, yeah, I've seen

183. your show online.

184. - Yeah?

185. - Really?

186. Yeah, I love the one

187. where Sam Tied up Freddie

188. and then shaved

189. off his eyebrow.

190. Thanks.

191. I was just improvising.

192. She has anger issues.

193. You guys ready

194. for your first rehearsal?

195. - Yeah.

196. - Let's rock it, Brad.

197. Let's do it.

198. Okay.

199. Rehearsing in five, four—

200. Freddie, Freddie,

201. that's the director's job.

202. Oh, right.

203. Sorry, everybody.

204. Sorry, band.

205. Director.

206. Here we go.

207. In five, four, three, two—

208. - I'm Carly.

209. - I'm Sam.

210. And here's our impression

211. of an obnoxious teenage girl

212. arguing with her mean mother.

213. - Go.

214. - Mom, buy me a car.

215. - No.

216. - Mom.

217. - No.

218. - Mom.

219. - No.

220. - Mom.

221. - No.

222. - Mom.

223. - No.

224. - Mom.

225. - No.

226. - Mom.

227. - No. Thanks so much.

228. - Thank you.

229. And now, say hey

230. to "iCarly's" music dude.

231. Harper.

232. Thanks, Carly, Sam.

233. Actually, I wrote a little song

234. about you guys.

235. It goes—

236. - Hey, cool song.

237. - What do you call it?

238. I call it "Carly, Sam, Yeah."

239. Punch it.

240. - Going' great, huh?

241. - Yeah.

242. But I think the show

243. looks a little too bright.

244. Can we bring down

245. the lighting just a bit?

246. Look, it's really not your job

247. to handle the lighting, okay?

248. But you said

249. I was gonna be a producer.

250. Yeah, but you gotta

251. work your way

252. up to producing stuff

253. like lights.

254. Okay.

255. So, what can I produce

256. right now?

257. Why don't you go produce me

258. a toasted bagel

259. with cream cheese?

260. Coming.

261. Hey, Mrs. Benson, What's up?

262. By force of habit, I made

263. some after-school snacks

264. for Freddie,

265. but since he's at rehearsal,

266. I thought maybe you'd like

267. to share them with me.

268. - I really—

269. - Share them with me.

270. All right.

271. These are cucumber cups filled

272. with low-fat yogurt

273. and chopped celery.

274. I really don't think

275. I've ever—

276. Interesting flavor.

277. Thank you.

278. You know, it is so lonely

279. in the afternoons

280. without Freddie.

281. Yeah, it's pretty quiet around

282. here without Carly too.

283. Been doing laundry

284. to help me keep my mind—

285. I can help with your laundry.

286. Oh, thanks, but seriously,

287. you don't have to—

288. Where's your name?

289. Huh?

290. You don't have your name

291. sewn into your underpants.

292. No. No, I'm a grown man.

293. A grown man who's going

294. to lose his underpants.

295. Well, I've—

296. I'll go get my sewing machine,

297. you finish the cucumber cups.

298. Cucumber's really aren't my—

299. and you're gone.

300. Now, before we go—

301. We just wanna remind you—

302. That's what the Earth

303. looks like from outer space.

304. And this is what Earth

305. looks like dressed up

306. as a little girl.

307. Okay.

308. Thanks for watching "iCarly."

309. Harper, jam us out.

310. Punch it.

311. And great rehearsal, everyone.

312. - We'll take a five.

313. - Hey, nice stuff.

314. You guys are hilarious.

315. Insane. Incredible.

316. I loved it.

317. But, Harper, can I talk

318. to the girls alone?

319. Can I drive your new Porsche

320. around the parking lot?

321. - How old are you?

322. - Fourteen.

323. Drive slow.

324. Yeah, right.

325. Hey, where is Freddie?

326. Oh, he's cleaning out

327. my fish tank.

328. So, listen, I thought rehearsal

329. went great, like, perfect.

330. - Cool.

331. - Sweet.

332. But I'd like

333. to make some changes.

334. - Why change anything?

335. - You just said it was perfect.

336. Well, it was.

337. But we don't feel Harper

338. should talk so much.

339. - Why not?

340. - He's really cool and funny.

341. I know, but we just

342. did some testing

343. and our research shows

344. that kids love dinosaurs.

345. What are you talking about?

346. I'm talking about Zeebo.

347. Zeebo?

348. - I'm Carly.

349. - And I'm Sam.

350. And I'm Zeebo.

351. Cha!

352. I've been told not to speak.

353. - Okay.

354. - Welcome to "iCarly."

355. Now, today, we're gonna—

356. I'm Zeebo.

357. Whoa!

358. You wanna quit doing that?

359. Nope.

360. Ka-boom!

361. Hey, could we lower

362. the microphone a little bit?

363. A little lower.

364. Little low—yeah.

365. Oh, no, no, no,

366. don't, don't, don't.

367. Ow, ow.

368. Yeah, kids love dinosaurs.

369. Breaking the face.

370. Breaking the face.

371. Breaking the face of Zeebo.

372. Ow, ooh, ooh.

373. Hurting Zeebo.

374. - Help Zeebo! Help Zeebo!

375. - Cut.

376. - Cut it. Cut.

377. - Get her off!

378. Come on, Sam.

379. I think you made your point.

380. I don't have to take this,

381. you know?

382. I did four episodes

383. of "Full House."

384. Ethan.

385. Come on, guy, don't do this.

386. Aww. Personally, I love Zeebo.

387. But I guess we'll just have

388. to do the show without him.

389. Oh, darn.

390. Don't worry.

391. Anyone can play Zeebo.

392. Ah, hey, Harper, come here.

393. - What's up?

394. - Put this on.

395. There. You look great.

396. I don't wanna play Zeebo.

397. We have a contract

398. and you'll play

399. whatever I tell you to play.

400. Let go of my snout.

401. How's he gonna play keyboard

402. if he's wearing

403. that dumb Zeebo costume?

404. Oh, don't worry about that.

405. We're getting rid

406. of the band completely.

407. But why?

408. So we'll have time

409. for more Zeebo.

410. Why are you so stupid?

411. Ooh, I'm late for a thing

412. with a guy.

413. He's ruining "iCarly."

414. Zeebo.

415. How long before that

416. nub dresses me up

417. like a dinosaur

418. and starts calling me Carbo?

419. - Hello.

420. - What's that?

421. - Bag of ice.

422. - For what?

423. Brad told me there's some guy

424. who works here

425. who got all sweaty,

426. and I'm supposed

427. to cool him down.

428. Over here.

429. Ah, yeah.

430. That's the stuff.

431. - Rub it around.

432. - Oh, okay.

433. Careful, Spencer.

434. I'm fine.

435. Just hand me the screwdriver.

436. Okay. But caution.

437. The tip is pointy.

438. I've used a screwdriver

439. lots of times.

440. I really don't think—

441. ow, oh, oh!

442. I warned you. Come down.

443. - Let me see it.

444. - It's fine.

445. Oh, my God, it's bleeding.

446. Oh, we got a bleeder.

447. My hand is bleeding.

448. I'll go get my first aid kit.

449. Wait. I don't think

450. I should be left alone.

451. There's a hole in my hand.

452. Mrs. Benson?

453. Mrs. Benson? Mrs. Benson?

454. Everything's fine.

455. I've got my first aid kit.

456. Wow. That's large.

457. Thank you.

458. Hold out your hand.

459. Is it gonna sting?

460. Cause I don't want it to—ah!

461. That's nice.

462. Mm-hmm.

463. Bandage.

464. And you know what's gonna

465. make you feel even better?

466. A visit from Dr. Lollipop?

467. A visit from

468. Dr. Sugar-Free Lollipop.

469. Hey.

470. - Lick slower.

471. - Sorry.

472. Mmm.

473. I hate this TV network,

474. but I love their ribs.

475. Mmm.

476. The sauce is so thick and rich.

477. Look at this.

478. That's good barbecue sauce.

479. You understand that it's wrong.

480. Yes.

481. Hey, guys, good news.

482. The network execs watched

483. the tape

484. of yesterday's rehearsal

485. and they loved it.

486. They are cuckoo for "iCarly."

487. But you just wanna change—

488. - One thing.

489. - Shocker.

490. This involves you, Sam.

491. If you try to put that dinosaur

492. head on me, I swear—

493. No. Nothing like that.

494. You're fired.

495. - What?

496. - You can't fire Sam.

497. Whoa, wait, whoa.

498. If you fire me, do I still

499. get paid for the whole week?

500. - Yes.

501. - Later.

502. Sam, don't go.

503. I can't do "iCarly"

504. without Sam.

505. - She's my co-host.

506. - Sorry.

507. But our executives found

508. her pushy and aggressive.

509. She is pushy and aggressive.

510. That's her thing.

511. And not to be rude,

512. but you are kind of stupid.

513. Carly, relax.

514. You won't have

515. to do the show alone.

516. We got you a new co-host.

517. - Who?

518. - Amber Tate.

519. - The movie star?

520. - Yup.

521. She's right over there

522. getting her makeup done.

523. Wow.

524. - Can I meet her?

525. - No.

526. But you can meet her dog.

527. - Her dog?

528. - Yeah.

529. I need you to give it a bath.

530. Be careful. He vomits a lot.

531. Have fun.

532. Okay. Look, Brad.

533. Nothing against you

534. or Amber Tate,

535. her vomiting dog,

536. But this isn't turning out

537. like I thought it would.

538. I like doing my show

539. with Freddie behind the camera

540. and Sam standing next to me.

541. So I think I'll just go home

542. and keep making "iCarly"

543. the way we like it.

544. Yeah, sorry, you can't do that.

545. We own the title "iCarly" now.

546. And we own you.

547. Oh, come on, get psyched.

548. It's gonna be great.

549. Just read the new script.

550. Wait, wait. Sam and I

551. write our own scripts.

552. Not anymore.

553. We hired

554. professional comedy writers.

555. Hey, you know

556. where the ribs are?

557. - We heard there were ribs.

558. - Are there ribs?

559. "iCarly" rehearsal in

560. five, four, three, two—

561. Hello, people

562. who own televisions.

563. - My name is—

564. - I'm Amber Tate.

565. Carly.

566. And I'm Zeebo.

567. And this is "iCarly," kind of.

568. Now, to kick off the show,

569. how about a little song

570. from our friend, Zeebo?

571. Stop the music.

572. Stop the—hold the track, man.

573. Now, what's wrong, guy?

574. The show is jank.

575. - Jank?

576. - It means bad, lame, suckish.

577. Catching on, Brad?

578. Jank.

579. And I crashed your Porsche.

580. My Porsche!

581. Oh, Zeebo!

582. Do not call me Zeebo.

583. Freddie.

584. The dog puked on me four times.

585. Give me him.

586. What did you do to him?

587. Ow.

588. Don't thump him.

589. Don't even talk to me.

590. Too late.

591. I'm already talking to you.

592. And since I am, what is with

593. you chick celebrities

594. carrying around

595. your prissy little dogs?

596. I've had chicken wings

597. with more meat

598. on them than that thing.

599. Well, when you're ready

600. to apologize to me

601. and Bitty Boo,

602. we'll be in my dressing room.

603. Hey, kid, go unclog

604. the toilet in my office.

605. No.

606. I toasted your bagel,

607. cleaned your fish tank,

608. got yacked on

609. by Amber Tate's rat dog,

610. and I even rubbed ice all

611. over a sweaty guy's stomach,

612. but I will not

613. plunge your toilet.

614. Come on,

615. you're my supervising producer.

616. Well, I ain't supervising

617. what you produced in there.

618. I'm sorry, Carly. I quit.

619. Well, now, we've lost

620. Sam, Freddie, and Harper.

621. Oh, everything's gonna be fine.

622. Fine?

623. This isn't even "iCarly"

624. anymore.

625. Oh, come on,

626. how can you say—

627. you know, you're right.

628. This isn't "iCarly" anymore.

629. So this is what TVS did

630. with "iCarly"?

631. Uh-huh.

632. They turned it into a sitcom.

633. And they're not even

634. calling it "iCarly" anymore.

635. - Lucky for us.

636. - So you get the name back?

637. - Yeah.

638. - We did.

639. - Let's watch.

640. - Okay.

641. But, Michelle, why would you

642. accept two dates to the prom

643. without telling either boy

644. about the other?

645. Because, Dad,

646. Luke is so sweet,

647. but Brandon is so hot.

648. Oh, noodles!

649. Lame.

650. In five, four, three, two—

651. - Howdy, y'all. I'm Carly.

652. - I'm Sam.

653. - And this is "iCarly."

654. - Back on the internet.

655. Where nobody can tell us

656. what to do.

657. Yeah, baby.

658. And now, Carly will spell

659. the word "punctuality—"

660. While Sam screams like

661. a girl in a horror movie

662. about to be eaten by a monster.

663. P-U-N-C-T-U-A-L-I-T-Y.

664. - Nice job, Carls.

665. - Thank you, Sam.

666. And now on "iCarly"--

667. Some live music

668. from a new friend of ours

669. who's amazingly talented.

670. So let's get them out here.

671. Harper!

672. This one's

673. for the real "iCarly."

674. - Hey!

675. - You there!

676. You wanna see us do stuff

677. you can't see anywhere else?

678. - Do you?

679. - I think they do.

680. Then go online to iCarly.com.

681. Yeah! Go to iCarly.com.

682. Once you get to iCarly.com,

683. you can see me and Carly...

684. And Freddie and Spencer do

685. all kinds of wacky fun stuff.

686. You know you like

687. wacky fun stuff.

688. So go online to iCarly.com.

689. And see stuff you can't

690. see anywhere else.

691. - Only at iCarly.com.

692. - So go there.

693. - Do it.

694. - Seriously.