1. Ugh, I am so hungry.
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2. Then go make something.
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3. Ugh, I'm so lazy.
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4. Whoa! Last week's web cast
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5. of "iCarly,"
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6. The most viewers we ever got.
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7. Really? How many?
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8. 355,000.
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9. Oh.
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10. - Holy cheese.
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11. Where have you been all day?
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12. Canada.
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13. I thought you were just going
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14. to the art museum.
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15. I was, until I fell asleep
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16. on the bus
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17. and woke up in Vancouver.
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18. I'm so done
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19. with public transportation.
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20. Ah, it's not that bad.
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21. You know, I was born on a bus.
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22. Huh?
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23. My mom's not good at planning.
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24. You know, I'm not sure
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25. it's fair to blame the bus
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26. 'cause you fell asleep.
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27. It's not just that.
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28. Last week on the bus,
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29. a hobo spilled chili on me
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30. Then continued to eat it
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31. without a spoon.
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32. I can't believe
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33. you went all the way to Canada.
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34. It wasn't a total loss.
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35. I bought Canadian bacon
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36. while I was there.
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37. Who wants night breakfast?
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38. - Me.
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39. - Me.
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40. Text message?
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41. Email.
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42. From the president of Daka.
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43. Daka, the shoe company?
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44. - Yeah.
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45. - Read it.
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46. "Dear Carly, we're big fans
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47. of your web show."
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48. - Wow.
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49. - Cool.
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50. "We'd love to have a meeting
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51. with you in our Seattle office
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52. "and talk about
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53. a business relationship
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54. between Daka shoes
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55. and 'iCarly.'"
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56. - No way.
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57. - That's awesome.
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58. Oh.
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59. This is just sliced ham.
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60. How dare those Canadians try
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61. and pass this off
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62. as some sort of fancy bacon.
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63. - In five, four, three, two...
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64. And this
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65. is our conference room.
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66. - Cool.
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67. - Nice.
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68. I like it.
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69. Where did you get
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70. the turkey sandwich?
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71. Found it on some dude's desk.
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72. All right.
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73. - Let's go over the game plan.
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74. - What do you mean?
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75. We don't even know
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76. what they want from us.
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77. Well, they probably know that
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78. lots of people watch "iCarly, "
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79. so I bet they want us
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80. to promote some shoes
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81. or something.
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82. - Cool.
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83. - Yeah, if they pay us.
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84. We should get 50 bucks cash
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85. or no deal.
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86. "iCarly"'s got a huge audience.
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87. We should get at least 100.
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88. Okay.
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89. We'll ask for 100.
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90. I hope
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91. they don't think that's pushy.
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92. Yeah.
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93. I'd hate for anyone
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94. to think I'm pushy.
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95. I swear.
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96. One minute my turkey sandwich
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97. was sitting there on my desk
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98. and then gone.
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99. - Get over it, Braxley.
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100. - I'm stupid.
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101. Carly.
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102. Sam.
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103. - Freddie.
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104. - Hey.
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105. I'm Greg Horvath,
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106. president of Daka shoes.
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107. Please, sit down.
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108. Have a seat.
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109. We have a lot to discuss,
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110. A lot to discuss indeed.
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111. Our marketing team
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112. is very familiar
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113. With your web show, "iCarly."
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114. [overlapping
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115. affirmative chatter]
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116. Apparently, you're getting
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117. 300,000 viewers a week.
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118. More.
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119. Impressive.
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120. And that's why Daka
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121. would like to advertise
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122. our new sneaker
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123. on your show.
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124. [overlapping
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125. affirmative chatter]
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126. - Oh, here it is.
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127. - Here it is.
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128. Daka's new Techfoot.
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129. - Awesome.
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130. - Sweet shoe.
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131. That's so cool.
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132. The Techfoot
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133. is our most technologically
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134. advanced shoe ever.
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135. It has a pedometer,
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136. so you know exactly
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137. How many steps you've run,
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138. walked, or jogged.
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139. It has a foot warmer
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140. for when your feet get cold,
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141. And it even offers
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142. Wi-Fi connectivity.
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143. I call it shoe-fi.
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144. - Braxley.
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145. - I'm stupid.
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146. So, how do you want us...
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147. Lights.
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148. Screen.
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149. I'm Carly.
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150. I'm Sam.
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151. We love the new Techfoot.
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152. Yes, the new Techfoot.
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153. They are fantastic. Mm-hmm.
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154. That's what we want you to do.
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155. Carly and Sam just talk
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156. about the shoes
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157. - while they're doing "iCarly"?
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158. - Exactly.
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159. Because if your audience knows
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160. that you guys love
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161. the new Techfoot,
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162. then they'll go out
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163. and buy 'em.
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164. So how much
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165. are you gonna pay us?
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166. Sam.
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167. You don't say it like that.
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168. So... how much
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169. are you gonna pay us?
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170. How much do you want?
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171. We want 100.
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172. Deal. We'll pay you $100,000.
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173. - Sam, Sam.
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174. Braxley.
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175. Now, $100,000
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176. paid over one year comes to...
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177. Over $8,000 a month.
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178. Do we have a deal?
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179. Uh...
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180. - Yes.
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181. - Uh-huh.
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182. Yeah.
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183. Excellent.
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184. Just sign these contracts.
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185. You'll get your first check.
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186. Whoa, whoa, wait.
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187. Whoa, whoa.
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188. We want cash.
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189. - Keep it going.
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190. - Yeah.
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191. - Keep it coming.
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192. - This is good.
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193. This is fun.
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194. This is a fun time.
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195. And I bought some stuff
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196. 'cause you know
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197. I got paid the other day
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198. Freddie, come over.
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199. I'm having fun
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200. with Daka's money
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201. Spending a ton of Daka's money
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202. I'm a rich girl
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203. Looking good, Carly.
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204. Feeling good, Freddie.
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205. So what did you buy?
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206. Oh, just this.
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207. New laptop?
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208. This isn't just a laptop.
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209. This is the Devaglio,
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210. the finest, best,
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211. most insanely awesome
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212. portable computer known to man.
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213. Listen to the sound it made
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214. when you open it.
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215. Sweet.
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216. So what did you buy?
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217. Some awesome sunglasses
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218. from Mercedes Lens.
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219. - Whoo. Fancy.
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220. - Okay.
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221. Tell me what pair
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222. you like better, these...
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223. Or these...
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224. - Uh...
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225. - Or these.
Copy !req
226. How many did you buy?
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227. I don't know.
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228. I stopped counting after 30.
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229. Side five.
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230. Ooh!
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231. Are you guys having some fun
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232. spending your Techfoot money?
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233. Oh, yeah.
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234. What is that?
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235. Oh, well, since I refuse
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236. to ride the bus anymore,
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237. I made myself this bike
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238. out of parts
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239. I found at the junkyard.
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240. What's wrong with the bike
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241. you already have?
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242. - I don't have a bike.
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243. - Yeah, you do.
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244. It's hanging in the kitchen
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245. right there.
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246. Well, too late now.
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247. - What up?
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248. - Built a bike.
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249. Later.
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250. Later.
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251. Hey, did Daka deliver
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252. the Techfoots yet?
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253. Yeah.
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254. They're up in the studio.
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255. Nice.
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256. Uh...
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257. Oh, sorry.
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258. Carly, Freddie, this is Sonya,
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259. my personal chef.
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260. Yoo-hoo.
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261. - What?
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262. - You hired a personal chef?
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263. Well, my mom doesn't feed me.
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264. And since I got
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265. some real money now,
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266. why not?
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267. Sonya, please make me
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268. a grilled cheese sandwich
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269. with tomato.
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270. Yes, Ms. Sam.
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271. I like grilled cheese
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272. sandwiches with tomato.
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273. Make that two, please.
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274. Yes, Ms. Sam.
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275. I like
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276. grilled cheese sandwiches too.
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277. Tough nubs.
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278. Sonya!
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279. I'm done with this plate.
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280. - Dessert?
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281. - I really shouldn't.
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282. I can make you cake.
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283. - I'm thinking pie.
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284. - I will make pie.
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285. Maybe it's just me,
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286. but didn't the Techfoot shoe
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287. they showed us at Daka
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288. look better than these?
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289. Yeah.
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290. I think you're right.
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291. Who cares?
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292. I got a lady making me pie.
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293. Uh, they're kind of squeaky.
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294. - Yeah.
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295. - They're just new.
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296. Probably need to be broken
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297. in a little bit.
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298. Right. True. Okay.
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299. "iCarly" Goes live
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300. in 15 seconds.
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301. Let's shake it, baby.
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302. In five, four, three, two...
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303. Hello, people.
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304. - You're watching "iCarly."
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305. - I'm Sam.
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306. So I must be Carly.
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307. - So Carly.
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308. - So Sam.
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309. Why don't we tell everybody
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310. about the insanely
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311. awesome new shoes
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312. we got the other day?
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313. You know, we should.
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314. Okay.
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315. These bad boys
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316. are called Techfoots.
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317. By Daka.
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318. And not only
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319. did they look cool...
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320. They have
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321. a built-in foot warmer.
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322. They have a digital pedometer
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323. to tell you how far
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324. you've run, walked, or jogged.
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325. They even have
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326. Wi-Fi connectivity.
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327. I mean,
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328. who wouldn't buy these shoes?
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329. Jerks.
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330. So quit being a jerk
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331. and go buy yourself
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332. a pair of Techfoots.
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333. Woosh. By Daka.
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334. Hula hula.
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335. Hula, hula, hula,
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336. hula, hula, hula.
Copy !req
337. - Hey.
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338. - Hey.
Copy !req
339. Your feet hurt, too?
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340. Yeah. These Techfoots
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341. are killing me.
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342. Mine, too.
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343. Oh, and last night,
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344. I tried to use
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345. the Wi-Fi on 'em
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346. And they crashed
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347. my new Devaglio.
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348. And I think these things
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349. are squeaking even louder.
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350. I know. Mine too.
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351. - Oh, my gosh!
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352. - What happened?
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353. I stepped in a little puddle
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354. and my Techfoot shocked me.
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355. No way.
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356. And then
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357. they totally fell apart.
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358. Hey, thanks for telling us
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359. to buy Techfoots.
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360. Really awesome shoes.
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361. We want our money back
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362. Well,
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363. we didn't sell you the shoes.
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364. Fine. Then we're just gonna
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365. stop watching "iCarly."
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366. Yeah.
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367. There's plenty of other things
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368. to watch.
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369. I hate these stupid Techfoots.
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370. Techfoot.
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371. This is bad.
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372. It's not that bad.
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373. Thousands of people wearing
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374. the worst shoe in history
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375. cause of "iCarly,"
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376. 'cause we told them
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377. how great they are?
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378. This is bad.
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379. I need some milk.
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380. What happened
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381. to your homemade bike?
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382. I chained it up by the curb
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383. for a few minutes
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384. and one of those street sweeper
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385. truck things came by
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386. and sucked it right in.
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387. Well, maybe you should Just
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388. start riding the bus again.
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389. Not happening.
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390. I'll just get around
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391. in an old fashion way.
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392. You're gonna walk everywhere?
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393. No.
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394. I'm gonna blade.
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395. So what are we gonna do
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396. about these jankfoots?
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397. Well we better do something
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398. unless we want "iCarly"
Copy !req
399. to keep losing viewers.
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400. Blubbery muffins?
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401. What?
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402. Blubbery?
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403. Blueberry.
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404. Sorry, Sonya,
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405. we're too upset to eat.
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406. How about this.
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407. We go talk to the guys
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408. at the Daka,
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409. tell him everything
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410. that's wrong
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411. with the Techfoots,
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412. and then maybe they'll fix 'em.
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413. I think that's smart.
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414. Sam?
Copy !req
415. Oh, sorry,
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416. I was lost in this muffin.
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417. Whoo!
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418. If you need me,
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419. I will be at the gym.
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420. Whoo!
Copy !req
421. Will you get the door?
Copy !req
422. Hey, hey, it's the iCarly team.
Copy !req
423. - How you guys doin'?
Copy !req
424. - Not so great.
Copy !req
425. We need to talk to you guys
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426. about the Techfoot.
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427. They have a ton of problems.
Copy !req
428. Problems? Like?
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429. Well, first,
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430. they squeak really bad.
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431. And the Wi-Fi
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432. crashed my computer.
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433. Carly got shocked
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434. when she stepped in a puddle.
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435. And then
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436. they practically fell apart.
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437. And when I throw 'em away,
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438. they exploded.
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439. You know
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440. when you put out a new shoe,
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441. they always have
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442. a few minor problems.
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443. Minor?
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444. What would be a major problem?
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445. If they came to life
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446. in the middle of the night
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447. and ate your family?
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448. I live alone.
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449. Look, either you make
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450. the shoes work like
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451. they're supposed to...
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452. Or we will never talk
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453. about them on "iCarly" again.
Copy !req
454. - Yeah.
Copy !req
455. - Look.
Copy !req
456. You signed a deal
Copy !req
457. with Daka shoes
Copy !req
458. and you took our money
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459. so you're gonna keep talking
Copy !req
460. up the Techfoots on "iCarly"
Copy !req
461. or you're gonna be
Copy !req
462. in big legal trouble.
Copy !req
463. We're not scared of you.
Copy !req
464. Yeah, my uncle happens
Copy !req
465. to be a lawyer.
Copy !req
466. - I thought he got arrested?
Copy !req
467. - Shhh.
Copy !req
468. Here's another one.
Copy !req
469. "Why don't you iCarly jerks
Copy !req
470. come over to my house
Copy !req
471. "so I could put on
Copy !req
472. my new Techfoots
Copy !req
473. and jump and down
Copy !req
474. on your faces."
Copy !req
475. This is awful.
Copy !req
476. I know.
Copy !req
477. Half our audience hates us,
Copy !req
478. and we're completely
Copy !req
479. out of blubbery muffins.
Copy !req
480. Look, on "iCarly" tonight,
Copy !req
481. you guys got to tell everyone
Copy !req
482. that Techfoots bite.
Copy !req
483. No thanks, I don't wanna get
Copy !req
484. sued for everything I have.
Copy !req
485. What do you have?
Copy !req
486. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
487. Spencer. What happened?
Copy !req
488. One minute
Copy !req
489. I'm blading down Hill Street,
Copy !req
490. feeling good,
Copy !req
491. on top of the world,
Copy !req
492. and the next thing
Copy !req
493. I know—bam!
Copy !req
494. I got a face full of dumpster.
Copy !req
495. Well, that's it.
Copy !req
496. From now on, Spencer's walkin'.
Copy !req
497. Aw.
Copy !req
498. Didn't Spencer go to law school
Copy !req
499. for, like, 20 minutes?
Copy !req
500. - Three days, thank you.
Copy !req
501. - Well, do you think
Copy !req
502. you could help us get
Copy !req
503. out of a contract?
Copy !req
504. What? The Techfoot one?
Copy !req
505. - Yeah.
Copy !req
506. - Uh-huh.
Copy !req
507. Well, I have to read it,
Copy !req
508. but if there's one thing
Copy !req
509. I learned in my 72 hours
Copy !req
510. of law school,
Copy !req
511. it's that every contract
Copy !req
512. has a loophole.
Copy !req
513. So you'll help us?
Copy !req
514. Sure, but not right now, okay?
Copy !req
515. I just had to walk
Copy !req
516. eight miles to get home
Copy !req
517. and I'm tired and sad.
Copy !req
518. Aw.
Copy !req
519. You wanna
Copy !req
520. nice bowl of hot soup?
Copy !req
521. - Yes please.
Copy !req
522. - Sonya!
Copy !req
523. Yoo-hoo!
Copy !req
524. In five, four, three, two...
Copy !req
525. Hey.
Copy !req
526. Okay, this is "iCarly."
Copy !req
527. And before we do
Copy !req
528. anything else tonight.
Copy !req
529. We wanna talk to you guys
Copy !req
530. some more about
Copy !req
531. The incredible
Copy !req
532. new Techfoot shoes
Copy !req
533. we told you about last week.
Copy !req
534. We're gonna show you
Copy !req
535. all the reasons
Copy !req
536. why Techfoots are so unique.
Copy !req
537. Hey, Carly.
Copy !req
538. Yes, Sam.
Copy !req
539. Do your feet
Copy !req
540. ever get hot And sweaty?
Copy !req
541. Only always.
Copy !req
542. Well, that's not a problem
Copy !req
543. with Techfoots.
Copy !req
544. Don't I know it?
Copy !req
545. 'Cause all you got to do
Copy !req
546. is get them a little wet.
Copy !req
547. Like when it rains.
Copy !req
548. And then you can just
Copy !req
549. shove your toe
Copy !req
550. to the front like this.
Copy !req
551. How wonderful.
Copy !req
552. And now our technical producer,
Copy !req
553. Freddie,
Copy !req
554. will show you
Copy !req
555. another cool thing
Copy !req
556. about the Techfoot.
Copy !req
557. Okay.
Copy !req
558. If your computer's hard drive
Copy !req
559. is cluttered
Copy !req
560. with a bunch of files, music,
Copy !req
561. and precious pictures
Copy !req
562. of family and friends,
Copy !req
563. the Techfoot does an amazing
Copy !req
564. thing with Wi-Fi technology.
Copy !req
565. See,
Copy !req
566. you just sync the pedometer
Copy !req
567. up to your computer and...
Copy !req
568. it wipes out
Copy !req
569. your entire hard drive.
Copy !req
570. Isn't that great?
Copy !req
571. - We're going over there.
Copy !req
572. - We'll go over there...
Copy !req
573. [overlapping
Copy !req
574. affirmative chatter]
Copy !req
575. And wait till you see this.
Copy !req
576. For those cold winter days.
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577. Every Techfoot comes
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578. with a built-in toe warmer.
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579. And if you turn
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580. the toe-warmer on high.
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581. Like this.
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582. Then bang it on the table.
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583. It magically catches on fire.
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584. Isn't that handy?
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585. That'll keep your piggies warm.
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586. And not only that...
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587. It's also perfect for...
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588. Roasting weenies.
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589. So go out right now
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590. and buy yourself
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591. a pair of Techfoots.
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592. Cause this is one hot shoe.
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593. You were warned.
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594. I warned you.
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595. - Did I warn them?
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596. - Oh, yes you warned them.
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597. Not only
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598. did you violate your contract
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599. by not saying
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600. good things about the shoe,
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601. you besmirched
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602. the name of the Techfoot
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603. by criticizing it.
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604. You think that I won't take
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605. legal action against you?
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606. You think that
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607. I'm above suing children?
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608. Well, I'm not.
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609. So I hope you
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610. have a good lawyer.
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611. Oh, we do.
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612. Gentlemen,
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613. I'm their lawyer,
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614. and this is my necktie.
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615. Cool tie.
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616. Yeah?
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617. Where did you get it?
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618. Socco's brother, Tyler.
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619. Now I understand that
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620. you're peeved at my clients.
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621. They were in violation
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622. of a signed contract.
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623. Your contract states only
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624. that the members of "iCarly"
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625. must comment on your shoe,
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626. the Techfoot,
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627. in a positive way.
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628. - Which they didn't.
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629. - Wrong sir.
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630. I reviewed
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631. the webcast in question,
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632. and they only said
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633. positive things
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634. about the Techfoot.
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635. Exhibit "A."
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636. And then you can just
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637. shove your toes to the front
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638. to cool them off like this.
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639. How wonderful.
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640. Exhibit B.
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641. Like a magic eraser.
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642. Isn't that great?
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643. And exhibit C.
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644. It's also perfect for...
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645. Roasting weenies.
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646. How wonderful.
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647. Isn't that great?
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648. Roasting weenies.
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649. Those sound like
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650. very positive comments.
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651. Wouldn't you agree?
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652. 'cause I sure think
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653. a judge would,
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654. certainly
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655. one who enjoys weenies.
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656. And we're gonna keep talking
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657. about the Techfoots
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658. in a "positive way."
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659. Just like we did tonight.
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660. To over 300,000 "iCarly" fans
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661. every week.
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662. Why are we huddling?
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663. I don't know.
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664. They're doing it.
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665. - All right.
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666. If you'll stop talking
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667. about the Techfoot on "iCarly"
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668. completely,
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669. then we're prepared
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670. to buy you out
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671. of your contract.
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672. For how much?
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673. - Ten thousand.
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674. - Twenty thousand.
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675. - Fifteen thousand.
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676. - Thirty thousand.
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677. What?
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678. And you have to give
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679. full refunds
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680. to every "iCarly" viewer
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681. who bought jankfoots.
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682. - Techfoots.
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683. - I know what I said.
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684. And what if I say no?
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685. Then we sue you.
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686. All right.
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687. Braxley, write her out
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688. a check for $30,000.
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689. Nuh-uh. Cash.
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690. All right.
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691. Blubbery muffins?
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692. I'm stupid.
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693. Keep it coming. This is good.
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694. This is fun.
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695. This is a fun time.
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696. Where are we going?
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697. Can you not try
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698. not to talk so much?
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699. Just give me a hint.
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700. Oh, look who keep saying words.
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701. But why can't you tell me
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702. Why I have to wear
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703. this blindfold?
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704. Hey, just be quiet
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705. and take off your blindfold.
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706. - What is this?
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707. - A motorcycle.
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708. I bought it for you
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709. So you don't have
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710. to ride buses,
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711. Or janky bikes,
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712. Or rollerblade into dumpsters.
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713. You spent
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714. your Techfoot money on me?
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715. I got it 'cause of you.
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716. - You.
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717. - You.
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718. Stick this on your head
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719. and get on.
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720. Okay.
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721. Where are we going?
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722. Canada.
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723. - See, you love their bacon.
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724. - I do.
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725. - Even if it is just ham.
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726. - It's good ham.
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727. All ham is good ham.
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728. Touché.
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729. - Hey!
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730. - You there!
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731. You wanna see us do stuff
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732. you can't see anywhere else?
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733. - Do you?
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734. - I think they do.
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735. Then go online to iCarly.com.
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736. Yeah! Go to iCarly.com.
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737. Once you get to iCarly.com,
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738. you can see me and Carly...
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739. And Freddie and Spencer
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740. do all kinds
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741. of wacky fun stuff.
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742. You know
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743. you like wacky fun stuff.
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744. So go online to iCarly.com.
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745. And see stuff
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746. you can't see anywhere else.
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747. Only at iCarly.com.
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748. - So go there.
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749. - Do it.
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750. Seriously.
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