1. No laughing!
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2. I hate children!
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3. Freddie, you know
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4. this school has a strict rule
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5. against turning your locker
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6. into a time machine.
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7. - It's a surveillance system.
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8. - For?
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9. Someone snuck
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10. into my locker yesterday
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11. and stole
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12. my fruit-scented markers.
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13. So the next time
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14. someone breaks in,
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15. it'll trigger this mechanism
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16. which causes this camera
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17. to snap a picture of the thief,
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18. so I'll know that
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19. you took my markers.
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20. Sorry. I forgot to tell you.
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21. - How'd you pick my lock? Sam.
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22. - Sam.
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23. Of course.
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24. Hey, where's the tangerine one?
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25. I'm not sure.
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26. Hmm.
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27. So what did you need
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28. the markers for?
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29. To make that poster.
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30. Oh, yeah.
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31. "'iCarly' 50th web show
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32. spectacular."
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33. Cool. Spreading the word.
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34. And the smell of fruits.
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35. There. It's up.
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36. Can you believe
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37. we're about to shoot
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38. - our 50th Webcast of "iCarly"?
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39. - Insane.
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40. We gotta make it, like,
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41. our best show ever.
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42. No doubt.
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43. Hey, Jack, go long.
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44. Okay.
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45. Oh, my God.
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46. "iCarly's" having a 50th
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47. web show spectacular?
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48. Yeah!
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49. In five, four, three, two...
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50. This girl is a menace.
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51. I want her ess-pelled.
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52. What?
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53. I want her ess-pelled.
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54. - What?
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55. - He wants me expelled.
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56. Mr. Howard, come on.
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57. I realize it was wrong of Sam
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58. to throw a football
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59. in the hallway.
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60. She almost killed me!
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61. Yeah, almost.
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62. I want something
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63. done about this.
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64. I understand, sort of.
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65. Sam, you did break the rules,
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66. so I'm going
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67. to give you detention
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68. with Mr. Howard tomorrow night.
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69. Fine. I'll be there
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70. tomorrow—wait.
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71. I can't do it tomorrow night.
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72. - Why not?
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73. - Yeah. Why not?
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74. I do a web show.
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75. - Oh, I know. "iCarly."
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76. - "iCarly"?
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77. Yeah. Tomorrow night's
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78. our 50th webcast
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79. and it's gonna be, like,
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80. a big thing, you know?
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81. Yes?
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82. Principal Franklin,
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83. some ninth grade boys
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84. are giving Gibby...
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85. a Texas wedgie?
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86. A Texas wedgie? All right.
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87. Meet me there with a bag of ice
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88. and a bottle of lotion.
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89. Mr. Howard, you finish up here.
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90. Wait. Just don't go—
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91. You know,
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92. I think you look better
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93. with that thing on your face.
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94. - Be quiet.
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95. - Okay.
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96. But can I please do
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97. detention next week?
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98. What, you think
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99. just because
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100. you're on a popular web show
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101. that you deserve
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102. some special treatment?
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103. Yeah.
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104. Well, tough kumquats.
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105. Tough what?
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106. Ow! Kumquats!
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107. Ow!
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108. Kumquats?
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109. Why'd you have to get
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110. detention tomorrow night?
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111. Yeah, way to go, Sam.
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112. You just ruined "iCarly"'s
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113. 50th web show spectac—
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114. ooh, popcorn.
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115. You know, I read online that
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116. popcorn's
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117. one of the healthiest
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118. snacks you can eat.
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119. Yeah, I read that, too.
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120. Whoa, whoa. What is that?
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121. Two cups of melted butter.
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122. Don't pour that
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123. all over the popcorn.
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124. It's full of fat and calories.
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125. Okay.
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126. Don't drink it.
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127. So why don't you
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128. just go talk to Mr. Howard
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129. and explain that
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130. it's "iCarly"'s 50—
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131. Tried that. Didn't work.
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132. Hey, what if we kidnap Howard
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133. and keep him tied up
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134. till after the show?
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135. Okay, what have I told you
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136. about kidnapping?
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137. It's illegal and rude.
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138. Good girl.
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139. I'm home.
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140. Where have you been?
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141. Down at the golf course
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142. getting golf balls
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143. out of the big pond.
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144. - What for?
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145. - So I can sell 'em
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146. and buy art supplies
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147. for my next sculpture.
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148. What are you making?
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149. A gigantic coffee cup,
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150. like 10 feet tall.
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151. - Why?
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152. - You know...
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153. To symbolize the largeness
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154. of some coffee cups.
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155. They're big.
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156. I'm gonna take a shower.
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157. - Have fun.
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158. - Happy shampoo.
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159. Scrub it up.
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160. So what do we do about
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161. "iCarly"?
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162. We gotta figure a way
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163. to get Sam out of detention.
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164. Not gonna happen.
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165. Mr. Howard hates my guts.
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166. Maybe me and Carly need
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167. to figure out a way
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168. to get into detention.
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169. Hey!
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170. What?
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171. - "iCarly" live from detention.
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172. - Interesting.
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173. - Wait. You're serious?
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174. - Sure.
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175. You and I do something bad,
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176. we get detention,
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177. then the three of us
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178. will be together
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179. to do the show.
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180. How can we do the show
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181. with Mr. Howard watching us
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182. the whole time?
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183. He hardly ever comes
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184. in the room.
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185. He always hangs
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186. in the teacher's lounge
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187. so he can watch
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188. the geometry channel.
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189. - He's such a nub.
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190. - The nubbiest.
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191. - Okay, let's do it.
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192. - Awesome.
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193. So tomorrow before school ends,
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194. you and I have to get
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195. detention.
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196. Yep.
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197. You'll never guess
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198. where I found this fish.
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199. - Hey.
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200. - Hello, Sam.
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201. Why do you look all guilty?
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202. I did something bad
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203. to get detention.
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204. - What did you do?
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205. - You'll see.
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206. All right, class,
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207. everyone please sit.
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208. Hey, Gibby, go ask
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209. Mr. Palladino to staple
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210. those together.
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211. - What for?
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212. - Shh! Just do it!
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213. Go!
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214. Hey, Mr. Palladino,
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215. can you staple these papers
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216. together?
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217. Certainly, Gibby.
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218. That's odd.
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219. I don't see
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220. the stapler anywhere.
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221. I have it.
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222. Wow. You are a maniac.
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223. I'm sorry, Gibby.
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224. I can't find the stapler.
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225. That's right, 'cause I took it.
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226. Ah, yes.
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227. Thank you, Freddie.
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228. There you are, Gibby.
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229. - Here.
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230. - Keep 'em.
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231. All right, kids.
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232. The sooner we start,
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233. the sooner we finish.
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234. So everybody,
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235. let's take your seats.
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236. Aah!
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237. What happened to my chair?
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238. I did it with whatever this is.
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239. Do I get detention?
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240. Absolutely not.
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241. An on-the-job accident means
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242. the school has to give me
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243. a two-month paid vacation
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244. while I recover.
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245. Bye!
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246. Dude, this is the principal's
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247. office.
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248. I know. I'm so bad.
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249. Look what I did.
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250. Freddie says principal
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251. Franklin...
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252. - Sucks eggs.
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253. Impressive. That might
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254. get you double detention.
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255. Yep. When principal
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256. Franklin sees that,
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257. you better believe he's gonna—
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258. Come on, Carly.
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259. It's for the 50th web show
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260. spectacular.
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261. You can do this.
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262. Who pulled that fire alarm?
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263. - It was me.
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264. - Thank goodness you did.
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265. The microwave
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266. in the teacher's lounge
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267. just burst into flames.
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268. Out of the way! Out of the way!
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269. Ow, ow, ow! Out of the way!
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270. Who knew getting in trouble
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271. would be so impossible.
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272. I gotta give you credit, Sam.
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273. You make it look easy.
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274. Years of practice.
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275. Hey, thanks
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276. for that fire alarm.
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277. You saved me from giving
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278. an oral report
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279. on "Scarlett's Web."
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280. You were too lazy
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281. to read the book?
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282. I was too lazy
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283. to see the movie.
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284. Well, now what?
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285. We're supposed to do
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286. the 50th webcast of "iCarly"
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287. from detention in five hours
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288. and Sam's the only one
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289. that's gonna be there.
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290. Why is it so hard
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291. to get detention?
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292. Who slammed that locker?
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293. - Me.
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294. - Detention!
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295. - Really?
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296. - Tonight!
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297. - Yay!
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298. - Yay?
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299. Darn.
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300. You did it.
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301. Yeah, but we still
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302. need our tech producer
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303. and school's over
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304. in three minutes.
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305. How am I gonna get detention
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306. in three minutes?
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307. You better,
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308. or else no show tonight.
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309. Yeah. Uh-huh.
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310. Wait here.
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311. I don't mind stopping
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312. by Crusty Creme.
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313. I—
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314. You heard I got
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315. the new pear phone.
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316. Yep, these babies
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317. are indestructible.
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318. Hello, honey. I'm back.
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319. Yes, I will pick up the donuts.
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320. Mm-hmm.
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321. Aw, man, school's over.
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322. And you didn't get detention.
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323. Which means no "iCarly"
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324. 50th web show spectacular.
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325. It couldn't be worse.
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326. - Yes, it could.
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327. - How?
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328. We could be Gibby.
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329. They gave me
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330. another Texas wedgie.
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331. Man,
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332. when Spencer said
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333. he was building
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334. a gigantic cup of coffee,
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335. he wasn't kidding around.
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336. Where is Spencer?
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337. Hey, Spencer!
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338. I'm here.
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339. Is that thing filled
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340. with coffee?
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341. Just about 500 gallons.
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342. Spencer, that's crazy.
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343. It's okay. It's decaf.
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344. Okay, but why are you in there?
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345. 'Cause after I filled it
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346. with coffee,
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347. I dropped my cell phone
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348. in here.
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349. Been trying to find it
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350. for the past two hours.
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351. Wish me luck.
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352. Hey, I figured out a way for us
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353. to do "iCarly" tonight.
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354. Is that a 10 foot tall
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355. coffee cup?
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356. 10'2".
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357. I'm not gonna ask.
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358. Just tell us how we're gonna do
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359. the show tonight.
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360. All right. Is there a closet
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361. in the classroom?
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362. - Yeah.
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363. - Good.
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364. And you guys can hide
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365. my tech equipment in there
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366. so Mr. Howard won't see it.
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367. Yeah, but what about you?
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368. You can't be in there
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369. unless you have detention.
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370. You said he's almost never
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371. in the room
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372. 'cause he's watching
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373. the geometry channel
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374. in the teacher's lounge, right?
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375. Yeah.
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376. So as soon as he checks roll
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377. and leaves,
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378. you guys give me a signal
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379. and I'll sneak in the window.
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380. But the classroom's
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381. on the second floor.
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382. You can borrow my ladder.
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383. Awesome.
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384. Did I hear you say
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385. you got detention?
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386. - Yeah.
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387. - Should I be concerned?
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388. - Not really.
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389. - Later.
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390. Now, you are all here
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391. because you are the worst
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392. this school has to offer.
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393. I am here because I believe
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394. in punishment and discipline
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395. and I hate you all.
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396. All right.
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397. I will be down the hall
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398. in the teacher's lounge
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399. watching the geometry channel.
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400. While I am gone,
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401. there is to be no talking.
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402. I hope
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403. you have a terrible time.
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404. We're good now
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405. for at least 10 minutes.
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406. Let's go.
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407. Okay, everybody.
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408. We're about to start
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409. the 50th webcast of "iCarly."
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410. You guys into it?
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411. - Yeah.
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412. - Totally.
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413. Okay, wants to be the lookout
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414. in case Mr. Howard came back?
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415. - I'll do it.
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416. - Hey.
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417. - Go signal Freddie.
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418. - Right.
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419. Ca-caw, ca-caw!
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420. - Ca-caw.
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421. - Do it like a bird.
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422. Ca-caw!
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423. Carly, what's the signal
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424. for Mr. Howard's coming?
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425. Dippity-doo.
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426. - Dippity-doo.
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427. - Everybody sit down.
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428. Pull me in!
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429. - Too late.
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430. - Don't—aww.
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431. I heard noise.
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432. - What's going on?
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433. - Nothing.
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434. We're just sitting here
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435. having a terrible time.
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436. Oh, good.
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437. Just sit here and don't move.
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438. I'll get the stuff
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439. out of the closet.
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440. I'll get Freddie.
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441. Ca-caw.
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442. Ca-caw.
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443. Here. You wear the cap-cam.
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444. - Why?
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445. - There's a camera in it.
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446. If jerk-face comes back,
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447. Freddie hides in the closet
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448. and we switch out "iCarly"
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449. to the hidden camera
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450. in your hat.
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451. Cool.
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452. I fell on a shrub.
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453. - Coast clear?
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454. - All clear.
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455. Then we are live on the web
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456. in 5, 4, 3, 2...
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457. - Why did we scream?
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458. - Because...
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459. It's "iCarly"'s 50th web show
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460. spectacular.
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461. It's true.
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462. This is the 50th webcast
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463. of "iCarly."
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464. And it is spectacular.
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465. Spectacular.
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466. - I'm Carly...
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467. - And I'm Sam...
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468. And maybe you've noticed...
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469. This isn't our usual
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470. "iCarly" studio.
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471. And if you haven't noticed...
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472. Scrape that crud
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473. out of your eyes.
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474. We're webcasting to you
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475. live from our school.
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476. - Room 29...
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477. - Because we got...
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478. Detention.
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479. Tell 'em why we got detention.
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480. 'Cause we're naughty.
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481. - Dippity-doo!
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482. - Okay.
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483. You just heard our friend
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484. Claire yell dippity-doo.
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485. Which means that
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486. our horrible teacher
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487. Mr. Howard is coming.
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488. I gotta hide.
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489. Freddie's gonna hide
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490. in the closet.
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491. And we're switching
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492. to the cap-cam
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493. in our friend Billy's hat.
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494. Switching to the cap-cam.
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495. I have ears like a hawk.
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496. I distinctly heard laughter
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497. and I hate laughter.
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498. I thought you hated your wife.
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499. Her, too.
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500. Now keep your mouths shut.
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501. Isn't he charming?
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502. Freddie, let's go.
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503. Switching back to the main cam.
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504. Okay. We were talking
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505. about the things
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506. kids do that get 'em detention.
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507. Why, look.
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508. Here's a gold member
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509. of the detention club
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510. right here.
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511. It's ninth grader
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512. Rip Off Rodney.
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513. Please, call me Rip Off.
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514. So how'd you get detention?
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515. Selling fake hall passes.
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516. Nice.
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517. And how'd you get caught?
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518. I, uh... I misspelled "hall."
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519. - Two Is.
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520. - Yeah.
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521. Okay, so you got anything else
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522. to say to the "iCarly" fans
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523. of the world?
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524. Yeah. I got a special
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525. this week on burritos.
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526. Two for six bucks.
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527. And do they contain
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528. quality meat?
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529. No, they do not.
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530. And now continuing
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531. with our game of hangman...
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532. JD, it's your turn to guess
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533. a letter or solve the puzzle.
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534. All right, is it...
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535. Mr. Howard eats pants?
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536. - Correct!
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537. - He certainly does.
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538. Okay. H-o-t—
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539. Dippity-doo!
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540. Everybody hide!
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541. Switching to the cap-cam.
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542. Uh-huh.
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543. Everybody's so innocent.
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544. Do I smell burritos?
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545. I have a feeling...
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546. Who wrote this?
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547. Who wrote this lie?
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548. Never in my entire life
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549. have I eaten one pair of pants.
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550. Somebody gonna confess,
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551. or do you all wanna do
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552. 200 push-ups?
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553. Principal Franklin says
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554. you can't give physical
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555. punishment in detention.
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556. Principal Franklin.
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557. If you ask me,
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558. he's not even fit
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559. to be in charge of this school.
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560. He's weak. Spineless.
Copy !req
561. Well, I think
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562. I'm just gonna sit here
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563. and stare
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564. at you gutter children
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565. until detention is over.
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566. And I think
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567. I'll add an extra two hours.
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568. Just hang on.
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569. Freddie has a way to get rid
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570. of Mr. Howard.
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571. Hey, no talking
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572. to that boy's hat.
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573. Wesley, now.
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574. Check.
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575. What in tarnation?
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576. What is that?
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577. Stay here and say nothing.
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578. Switching back to the main cam.
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579. Okay, now that dippity-doo
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580. done gone...
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581. - Next on "iCarly"...
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582. - Live from detention...
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583. Turtle races!
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584. - Come on, give him a kiss.
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585. - Kiss him, kiss him.
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586. - Mine wants a big kiss.
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587. - Come on, you can do it.
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588. Hey! You there!
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589. Stop! Who are you?
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590. Stop, you hooligan!
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591. Remove your sack.
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592. - Hey!
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593. Yoo-ie, yoo-ie,
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594. yoo-ie, yoo-ie, yoo-ie, yoo-ie.
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595. We gotta go.
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596. Who says slow
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597. can't be exciting?
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598. You can only get this stuff
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599. at iCarly.com, baby.
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600. Ha!
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601. A video camera? Turtles?
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602. Burritos?
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603. What is going on in here?
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604. The "iCarly" 50th web show
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605. spectacular?
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606. You're all really
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607. in trouble now.
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608. I am talking suspension.
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609. I am talking expulsion.
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610. Deportation.
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611. And you can all start
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612. with 500 push-ups.
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613. I don't care
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614. what Principal Franklin
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615. has to say about it.
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616. You don't?
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617. No! I—oh, dear.
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618. Principal Franklin.
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619. What are you doing here?
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620. Well, I was at home,
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621. watching the "iCarly"
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622. 50th web show spectacular.
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623. Congratulations, by the way.
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624. My kids and I love your show.
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625. - Wow.
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626. - Awesome.
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627. While I was watching,
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628. I heard Mr. Howard
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629. call me a weak, spineless fool.
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630. No, no, no! I said...
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631. Uh, sweet. Stylish.
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632. Cool.
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633. In my office.
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634. - But I—
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635. - Now.
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636. Why does everything
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637. always happen to me?
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638. So now what?
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639. Well, I suppose Mr. Howard
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640. has tortured you all enough.
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641. Go home.
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642. Okay, we're just about done.
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643. - I'm Sam...
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644. - I'm Carly...
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645. And I'm Ted.
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646. And thanks for watching
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647. the "iCarly" 50th web show
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648. spectacular.
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649. May I?
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650. Second button from the bottom.
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651. It's "iCarly"'s 50th web show
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652. spectacular.
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653. Bye! Keep clicking
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654. iCarly.com. Don't forget it.
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655. And we're clear.
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656. - Yeah!
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657. - Whoo!
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658. How fun is this?
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659. It's like a java-cuzzi.
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660. Hey!
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661. Who wants more coffee?
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662. - I do!
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663. - Whoo!
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664. Yeah!
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665. This isn't weird at all.
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666. Hi, Carly. Hi, Sam.
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667. Watch what I can do.
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668. "iCarly" rocks.
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