1. I can't believe
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2. Mr. Klein gave me a "D"
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3. on that test.
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4. How'd I get a "D"?
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5. You only answered
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6. half the questions,
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7. then told Mr. Klein
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8. the test was stupid,
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9. then burped, then left.
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10. And that's not worth a D-plus?
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11. Hey, guys. Bad news.
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12. The doctors can't
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13. fix your face?
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14. What's the bad news?
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15. Benji's flaking on us.
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16. I'm not flaking.
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17. - Benji.
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18. - Come on.
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19. The Plain White T's
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20. are signing autographs
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21. at the Westbrook mall.
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22. The Plain White T's
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23. are in town?
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24. I love them.
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25. So it's cool if I miss
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26. "iCarly"?
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27. No.
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28. You promised
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29. you'd be on the show tonight.
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30. Sorry.
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31. I'll do it another time.
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32. Great, where are we
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33. gonna find another kid
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34. who can fit his entire foot
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35. in his mouth?
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36. Hey, Gibby.
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37. You wanna be on "iCarly"?
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38. Totally. What do I got to do?
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39. - I'll show you.
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40. - Oh!
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41. Put your foot it your mouth.
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42. Come on, you can do it.
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43. - I can't!
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44. - In the mouth, Gibby!
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45. - I don't bend that way!
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46. - Put your foot in your mouth!
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47. - Put your foot in your mouth!
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48. - I can't! I can't do that!
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49. - She's not like other girls.
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50. - No.
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51. Come on, Gibby,
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52. lift your foot higher.
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53. Bend it, Gibby, come on!
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54. Put the foot in the mouth!
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55. In five, four, three, two...
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56. In five, four, three, two...
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57. Hello, Internet-alonians.
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58. Greetings, webites.
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59. If you're here to see
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60. a live autopsy
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61. of an alien...
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62. You've come to the wrong url.
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63. Okay, we've got
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64. an awesome show
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65. for you guys tonight.
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66. And we're gonna kick it off
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67. by showing you
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68. a freakish video.
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69. Sent in by an "iCarly"
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70. viewer...
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71. Of a cat meowing
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72. the national anthem.
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73. God bless "a-meow-ica."
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74. - Freddie?
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75. - One singin' cat comin' up.
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76. I rule you, horse.
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77. I said, giddy-up.
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78. I said, giddy-up.
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79. I said, giddy-up, yeah!
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80. Freddie,
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81. where's the singing cat?
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82. Okay, okay. Hang on.
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83. Here.
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84. - It's upside down.
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85. - I see that. Wait.
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86. Sorry "iCarly" viewers.
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87. Freddie will have the cat video
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88. fixed in just a sec.
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89. Okay, guys,
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90. we're having some minor
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91. technical difficulties.
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92. So, while we get 'em fixed...
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93. Please enjoy this picture
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94. of an old lady biting a brick.
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95. Freddie, what do you think
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96. went wrong?
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97. I'm not sure.
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98. But I'd bet an entire
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99. month's allowance
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100. that all my equipment
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101. was working perfectly.
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102. Ooh, you'd bet
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103. a whole eight bucks?
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104. Shh.
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105. Your mom only gives you
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106. eight bucks a month?
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107. She's afraid
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108. if she gives me more,
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109. I'll buy a bus ticket
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110. and leave her.
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111. That's so dumb.
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112. Yeah, not really.
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113. It's on right now?
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114. Cool, I'm puttin' it on.
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115. Thanks, Socko.
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116. Turn on channel eight!
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117. - Why, what's...
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118. - No time for questions!
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119. At the Westbrook mall,
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120. the Plain White T's,
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121. famous for their
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122. number one hit song,
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123. "Hey There, Delilah,"
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124. were signing autographs
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125. when lead singer
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126. Tom Higgenson sneaked away
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127. to buy himself a latte.
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128. As Mr. Higgenson
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129. was leaving the coffee kiosk,
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130. he was almost struck
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131. by a giant menu board
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132. when it fell from
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133. the upstairs food court.
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134. - Oh, no!
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135. - What?
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136. Shh, watch, watch.
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137. Luckily, a passing bystander
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138. pushed the rock star
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139. out of the way,
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140. saving his life.
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141. - Spencer!
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142. - That's you.
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143. - I know!
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144. - You're like a hero.
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145. "Like"?
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146. So did you get an autograph
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147. from Tom Higgenson?
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148. Better,
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149. I didn't have any paper,
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150. so he signed my back.
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151. - Wow.
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152. - Read it.
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153. "Spencer, thanks so much
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154. for pushing me out of the way.
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155. If it wasn't for you,
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156. I could have been killed
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157. by that menu board.
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158. By the way, nice mole."
Copy !req
159. Oh, look.
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160. Tom drew a little arrow
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161. pointing to Spencer's
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162. back mole.
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163. That is a nice mole.
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164. "Thanks again.
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165. I totally owe you one, bro.
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166. Your buddy, Tom Higgenson."
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167. - Is that his phone number?
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168. - Yup.
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169. - Hey.
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170. - What?
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171. Oh, never mind,
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172. I shouldn't ask.
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173. Okay.
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174. Will you ask the Plain White
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175. T's to perform on "iCarly"?
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176. Will you take
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177. a digital picture of my back?
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178. - Yes.
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179. - Then, yes!
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180. Ah!
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181. No way!
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182. - Colonel Morgan.
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183. - What's up, buttercup?
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184. - Permission to hug?
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185. - Permission granted.
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186. - Me next.
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187. - Spencer.
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188. - At ease.
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189. - Sorry, sir.
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190. What are you doing here?
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191. Yeah, I thought you were
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192. overseas with dad.
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193. I was.
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194. But I'm back here
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195. for a couple of weeks
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196. to do a little recruiting.
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197. But more importantly...
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198. I bring gifts from your father.
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199. - Yes!
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200. - Awesome.
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201. For Carly,
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202. a handmade laptop case
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203. from Switzerland.
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204. Whoa, I love Swiss
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205. laptop cases!
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206. And for Spencer,
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207. a two-foot-long
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208. Italian meat stick.
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209. - This is two feet?
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210. - It was, till I had lunch.
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211. So you're gonna be in Seattle
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212. till the end of the month?
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213. Yep, and before I leave,
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214. I want you both to come over
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215. and have dinner
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216. with me and Carmela.
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217. - Sure.
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218. - We'll try and get there early.
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219. All right. I better run on.
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220. Ooh! Before you go,
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221. you got to read my back.
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222. - Read your back?
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223. - Read my back!
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224. If you ever need my help
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225. with anything,
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226. you just call me.
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227. Thanks, Colonel Morgan.
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228. - Uncle Roger.
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229. - Uncle Roger.
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230. Is he reading it?
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231. Are you sure
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232. we're not gonna have
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233. - any more problems?
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234. - We shouldn't.
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235. I triple-checked everything.
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236. Okay, we're live
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237. in five, four, three, two...
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238. Hello, people of Earth,
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239. Jupiter, and Wisconsin.
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240. I'm Carly,
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241. which rhymes with barley.
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242. - And I'm Sam...
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243. - Which rhymes with ham.
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244. Okay, by now,
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245. I'm sure you've heard
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246. that Tom Higgenson...
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247. Lead singer
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248. of the Plain White T's...
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249. Recently had his life saved
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250. by a passing bystander.
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251. And that passing bystander
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252. is my brother, Spencer.
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253. Now guess what?
Copy !req
254. Tom Higgenson is so cool
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255. that he promised
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256. my brother a big favor.
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257. So Spencer's gonna try
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258. and get the Plain White T's
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259. to play live right
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260. here on "iCarly."
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261. to check out more info
Copy !req
262. when that might happen.
Copy !req
263. But right now...
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264. Sam's gonna send
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265. a 20-word text message
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266. using only her feet and toes.
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267. Here I go.
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268. Okay, Carly,
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269. just put the cell phone
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270. between my toes there.
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271. - Okay, there you go.
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272. - There we go, okay.
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273. - All right.
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274. - Oh, yeah.
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275. - Yeah.
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276. - Gettin' some words in there.
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277. B-r-b.
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278. - Oh, yeah.
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279. - L-o-l.
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280. Freddie, what up
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281. with the green screen?
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282. Uh, I'm not sure.
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283. Uh, what's going
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284. on with the monitor?
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285. I don't know.
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286. Random dancing!
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287. Freddie, do something!
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288. I'm trying!
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289. It's like I have no control
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290. over anything!
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291. Random dancing...
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292. - Okay, now what?
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293. - We're offline.
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294. No signal in or out.
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295. Our whole website's down.
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296. Aw, great,
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297. in the middle of our show?
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298. Wait, what's going on
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299. with the monitor?
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300. I'm not making it do that.
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301. - Well, then who's...
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302. - I am the source
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303. of "iCarly"'s
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304. technical difficulties.
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305. Well, knock it off!
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306. Who are you anyway?
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307. My identity is a secret.
Copy !req
308. Nevel, come say goodbye,
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309. sweetie.
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310. Mother, I'm busy!
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311. Nevel?
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312. Hello, Carly, Sam, Freddie.
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313. You're the one messing up
Copy !req
314. our Webcast?
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315. That's right.
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316. I've hacked your website.
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317. I told you I'd get revenge.
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318. No. You said I'd "rue the day."
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319. Same thing!
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320. And now your time
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321. to rue has come.
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322. Look, Nevel,
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323. you better just back off,
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324. or I'm gonna squeeze
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325. your big round melon
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326. head till it pops.
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327. You don't scare me, Sam.
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328. Well, we know
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329. what does scare you.
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330. Yeah. We're just gonna
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331. tell your mom on you again,
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332. and then
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333. you'll be in huge trouble.
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334. Wrong.
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335. My mother's leaving
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336. for a two-month cruise
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337. around the Arabian peninsula.
Copy !req
338. Well, someone
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339. has to be in charge of you.
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340. Correct. My grandmother.
Copy !req
341. But she's hopelessly confused.
Copy !req
342. That's right. I'm untouchable.
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343. I control "iCarly",
Copy !req
344. and there's nary a thing
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345. you can do to stop me.
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346. "Nary"?
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347. Let the ruing begin.
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348. You feel it, Carly?
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349. You feel the rue?
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350. You feel it?
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351. Nevel, come kiss
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352. mommy goodbye.
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353. All right, mother!
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354. Better find a new hobby,
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355. Carly,
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356. 'cause your web show
Copy !req
357. is officially canceled by me.
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358. I hate him.
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359. I heard that.
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360. Well, how's he doing it?
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361. I don't know.
Copy !req
362. Somehow Nevel hacked
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363. into my computer
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364. and was able to control
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365. everything in our studio.
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366. Well, this is horrible.
Copy !req
367. You know what else
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368. is horrible?
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369. You're out
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370. of mini marshmallows.
Copy !req
371. Sam.
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372. This is a crisis situation.
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373. Yeah?
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374. I'll just use this big one.
Copy !req
375. So Nevel can just
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376. mess up our show
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377. whenever he wants?
Copy !req
378. Yeah. Till we can figure out
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379. how to stop him,
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380. which could take months.
Copy !req
381. Well, then, for now,
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382. we're stopping "iCarly."
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383. - What?
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384. - Carly!
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385. There's no point
Copy !req
386. in us doing the show
Copy !req
387. just so Nevel can wreck it.
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388. - Yeah.
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389. - True.
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390. Awesome.
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391. That's incredible!
Copy !req
392. That's incredible!
Copy !req
393. I'll tell them right now. Bye.
Copy !req
394. Oh, my God!
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395. That was Tom Higgenson.
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396. He said yes.
Copy !req
397. I got you the Plain White T's
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398. for "iCarly" next week!
Copy !req
399. Guys, calm down.
Copy !req
400. Does it have to be next week?
Copy !req
401. Well, yeah,
Copy !req
402. after that, they leave on
Copy !req
403. like a year-long world tour.
Copy !req
404. What's the problem?
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405. We can't do "iCarly"
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406. next week.
Copy !req
407. Nevel hacked us.
Copy !req
408. That evil little maniac
Copy !req
409. that makes great tapenade,
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410. but tried to kiss Carly?
Copy !req
411. Yeah,
Copy !req
412. the little nub hates me now,
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413. and he figured out
Copy !req
414. how to mess up our show
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415. whenever he wants.
Copy !req
416. Do you know how huge it'd be
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417. for "iCarly" to have
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418. the Plain White T's on?
Copy !req
419. Yes.
Copy !req
420. Then we're not
Copy !req
421. canceling the show.
Copy !req
422. Tell Tom we'll be ready.
Copy !req
423. Yay. I go dial.
Copy !req
424. Why'd you do that?
Copy !req
425. How are we gonna stop Nevel?
Copy !req
426. He messed with iCarly.com.
Copy !req
427. We're gonna mess
Copy !req
428. with nevelocity.com.
Copy !req
429. You think you can
Copy !req
430. hack him back?
Copy !req
431. Yeah. We just got
Copy !req
432. to sneak into his house
Copy !req
433. so I can get to his computer.
Copy !req
434. And then, when he realizes
Copy !req
435. that we can crash his site,
Copy !req
436. he'll leave "iCarly" alone.
Copy !req
437. - Nice.
Copy !req
438. - Wow, Freddie.
Copy !req
439. I like seeing you
Copy !req
440. get all feisty.
Copy !req
441. That's that Freddie way.
Copy !req
442. I thought the Freddie way
Copy !req
443. was a toasted bagel
Copy !req
444. with grape jelly.
Copy !req
445. That's the Freddie
Copy !req
446. breakfast way.
Copy !req
447. Sam, where are you?
Copy !req
448. In the kitchen.
Copy !req
449. How'd you get in here?
Copy !req
450. Back door was open.
Copy !req
451. Hey, look, I got
Copy !req
452. some tuna tetrazzini
Copy !req
453. in the fridge.
Copy !req
454. Sam, we're here
Copy !req
455. to hack Nevel's computer,
Copy !req
456. not eat his tetrazzini.
Copy !req
457. I feel we can do both.
Copy !req
458. Okay, here I come.
Copy !req
459. Come on, can we just do this
Copy !req
460. before Nevel comes back?
Copy !req
461. Yeah.
Copy !req
462. Let me just unhook myself.
Copy !req
463. I'm gonna go scope
Copy !req
464. the place out.
Copy !req
465. Oh, man. The latch is bent.
Copy !req
466. What?
Copy !req
467. So you're stuck there?
Copy !req
468. Yeah.
Copy !req
469. Well, here, here,
Copy !req
470. let me help you out there.
Copy !req
471. Oh, cool, thank you.
Copy !req
472. Ah!
Copy !req
473. Stop me! Stop me! Stop me!
Copy !req
474. Will you quit playin' around?
Copy !req
475. He can't release the latch.
Copy !req
476. Oh, man.
Copy !req
477. Okay, then,
Copy !req
478. just tell us what to do.
Copy !req
479. Okay.
Copy !req
480. First, go find Nevel's
Copy !req
481. base of operations.
Copy !req
482. Right in here.
Copy !req
483. Wow.
Copy !req
484. I used to rate geeks
Copy !req
485. on a scale of one to Freddie.
Copy !req
486. But I think Nevel just
Copy !req
487. broke that scale.
Copy !req
488. Whoa.
Copy !req
489. Okay, Freddie,
Copy !req
490. we're in Nevel's nerd cave.
Copy !req
491. - What do we do?
Copy !req
492. - Okay.
Copy !req
493. Hook up my T.I.D. cable
Copy !req
494. from the UGC port on my laptop
Copy !req
495. to the QSB input
Copy !req
496. on his Y drive.
Copy !req
497. What?
Copy !req
498. The blue cable.
Copy !req
499. Plug the small end
Copy !req
500. into my laptop and the fat end
Copy !req
501. into Nevel's computer.
Copy !req
502. Thank you!
Copy !req
503. Oh, spider!
Copy !req
504. Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
Copy !req
505. We have a situation!
Copy !req
506. What's wrong?
Copy !req
507. I think Nevel's grandmother
Copy !req
508. just walked in.
Copy !req
509. Don't worry. Nevel said
Copy !req
510. she's hopelessly confused.
Copy !req
511. Okay, we've got
Copy !req
512. the cable hooked up.
Copy !req
513. Now what?
Copy !req
514. Okay, there's a file
Copy !req
515. on my desktop called vl2. exe.
Copy !req
516. Drag that onto his hard drive.
Copy !req
517. - Okay.
Copy !req
518. - After you do that,
Copy !req
519. just unhook the...
Copy !req
520. Hi, there.
Copy !req
521. Spider!
Copy !req
522. Stop it, lady!
Copy !req
523. - Would you...
Copy !req
524. - Stop!
Copy !req
525. Who are you?
Copy !req
526. Your personal trainers.
Copy !req
527. My personal...
Copy !req
528. come on, let's do
Copy !req
529. some squat thrusts.
Copy !req
530. Squat thrusts.
Copy !req
531. There you go.
Copy !req
532. - Ready?
Copy !req
533. - But I don't... I don't...
Copy !req
534. - Just squat and thrust.
Copy !req
535. - Begin.
Copy !req
536. One... Two...
Copy !req
537. Do it!
Copy !req
538. - One—three.
Copy !req
539. - Three.
Copy !req
540. - Four.
Copy !req
541. - Yup, I can count, one.
Copy !req
542. - Good...
Copy !req
543. - Oh, yeah, likin' that.
Copy !req
544. Two. Work it.
Copy !req
545. Oh, keep workin'.
Copy !req
546. Don't get lazy on me.
Copy !req
547. One... uh-huh, good job.
Copy !req
548. Two, okay, come on, one...
Copy !req
549. all the way down,
Copy !req
550. don't give up.
Copy !req
551. - Go on, feel the burn?
Copy !req
552. - Ooh.
Copy !req
553. Better, okay. Keep it going.
Copy !req
554. Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
555. Ooh!
Copy !req
556. Three! "W."
Copy !req
557. Mustard!
Copy !req
558. Petticoats!
Copy !req
559. Four!
Copy !req
560. And in about two minutes,
Copy !req
561. we are gonna crash
Copy !req
562. Nevel's website.
Copy !req
563. Pull up the nevelocity.com.
Copy !req
564. Copy that.
Copy !req
565. Hey, which socks
Copy !req
566. do you think I should wear
Copy !req
567. when the Plain White T's
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568. come here?
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569. Blue stripes
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570. with golden pineapples?
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571. Or aqua
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572. with fuchsia palm trees?
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573. Wear one of each.
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574. Hey, that's brilliant.
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575. Look at you thinking
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576. outside the socks.
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577. I'll be in my room.
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578. Okay, Sam, keep your eye
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579. on Nevel's site
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580. and watch it crash.
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581. Still workin'.
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582. - What happened?
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583. - My computer crashed.
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584. Surprise! Ha ha ha ha!
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585. Aw, it's so cute how you tried
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586. to crash my website,
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587. but who failed?
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588. You did.
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589. Okay, Nevel,
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590. why are you torturing us?
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591. Firstly, because
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592. you refused to kiss me,
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593. then soiled my face
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594. with tapenade.
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595. You better just back off,
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596. Papperman.
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597. No, I control
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598. the "iCarly" website now.
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599. But look at the bright side.
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600. - What bright side?
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601. - There is none! Ha!
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602. You all lost and I all won.
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603. Bye.
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604. Well, better tell Spencer
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605. to cancel the Plain White T's.
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606. Oh, man, this bites.
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607. But we can't do
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608. "iCarly" as long as Nevel
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609. controls our site.
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610. - So true.
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611. - Get off my monitor!
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612. - Who are you calling?
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613. - You'll see.
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614. - You ordering pizza?
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615. - No!
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616. Um, are you sure
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617. we should do the show?
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618. Yeah, seriously.
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619. I mean,
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620. you know Nevel's just...
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621. We're doing the show.
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622. Okay.
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623. In five, four, three, two...
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624. - And welcome.
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625. - To what?
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626. - iCarly.
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627. - Oh, yeah.
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628. - I'm Sam.
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629. - And I'm Carly.
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630. - It's Nevel again.
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631. - Now, what's he doing?
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632. Overriding our signal.
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633. He's web casting directly
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634. to our audience.
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635. And now on "iCarly",
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636. I will sing a song
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637. all about my web cast.
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638. How could this not
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639. be infuriating you?
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640. Just keep watching.
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641. What are you people doing here?
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642. I demand a...
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643. - Quiet!
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644. - Yes, sir.
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645. - Who's that?
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646. - A friend of my dad's.
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647. - You called in the military?
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648. - I don't play around.
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649. Nevel Papperman,
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650. your computer hacking
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651. is a direct violation
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652. of the Internet
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653. security act of 1983.
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654. Wait.
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655. They're taking my equipment.
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656. - They can't do that.
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657. - Oh, yes, they can.
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658. And I can also place you
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659. under military arrest.
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660. No! No, please,
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661. I'm just a young boy.
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662. Huh?
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663. A boy, trust me.
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664. - Please don't arrest me.
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665. - Okay, fine.
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666. You're not under arrest.
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667. Then what are you
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668. gonna do with me?
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669. Get me down from here!
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670. After you apologize to Carly.
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671. I'm sorry, Carly.
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672. Now, call yourself a weenie.
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673. I'm a weenie.
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674. - He is a weenie.
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675. - Yeah.
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676. Very weenie-ish.
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677. Okay, Carly,
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678. I don't think this boy
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679. will be bothering you anymore.
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680. - No.
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681. - Let's clear out.
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682. Wait,
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683. You can't just leave me
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684. dangling up here!
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685. Sure, I can.
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686. Let's go get some sushi.
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687. Wait, wait.
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688. No, no, please.
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689. You can't just leave me
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690. dangling here.
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691. No! No!
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692. Don't leave me dangling!
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693. Don't leave me
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694. dangling!
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695. is back under our control,
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696. and we are live.
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697. We're back.
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698. Sorry for that
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699. little interruption.
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700. We don't think
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701. it'll happen again.
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702. - Nope.
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703. - And now a first for "iCarly."
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704. A world famous band
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705. is gonna perform live
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706. right here.
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707. - Right now.
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708. - So please welcome...
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709. The Plain White T's!
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710. Hey, I'm Tom Higgenson.
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711. Before we do this song,
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712. I wanna thank Carly's brother,
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713. Spencer, for saving my life.
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714. Spencer, you're a heck of a guy
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715. and you wear
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716. some rockin' socks.
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717. That's true.
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718. All right,
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719. let's do this for "iCarly."
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720. Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
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721. - Hey.
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722. - You there.
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723. You wanna see us do stuff
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724. you can't see anywhere else?
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725. - Do you?
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726. - I think they do.
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727. Then go online to iCarly.com.
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728. Yeah, go to iCarly.com.
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729. Use your computer.
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730. It's the best way to get there.
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731. Once you get to iCarly.com,
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732. you can see me and Carly...
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733. And Freddie and Spencer...
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734. And our other friends...
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735. Do all kinds of wacky,
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736. fun stuff.
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737. You know you like
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738. wacky, fun stuff.
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739. So go online to iCarly.com.
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740. And see stuff
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741. you can't see anywhere else.
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742. Only at iCarly.com.
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743. - So go there.
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744. - Do it.
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745. - Seriously.
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746. - Bah.
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747. Bah.
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