iCarly 1x13

Directed by Steve Hoefer

Aria Wallace as Amanda 'Mandy' Valdez • Kimberly Barnett as Suezay • John Charles Meyer as Dirk • Jon Seminara as Blake • Dan Schneider as Man in Crowd

Carly invites her biggest fan to watch a live taping of iCarly but the girl is so obsessed that they can't get rid of her. Meanwhile, Spencer discovers that his band puts up with him only to use his apartment to rehearse.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. What?

2. You're having

3. breakfast in class?

4. - Uh-huh.

5. - You can't just have breakfast

6. in the middle of...

7. is that turkey bacon?

8. - Carly?

9. - Freddie?

10. - Sam?

11. - I'm eating.

12. All right, class,

13. take your seats.

14. Why do I smell bacon?

15. - It's turkey bacon.

16. - Put it away!

17. - Sorry.

18. - Okay.

19. There, it's put away.

20. Into my backpack.

21. Now, today we have

22. a very special treat.

23. - Spelling bee?

24. - Quiet, Gibby!

25. Since you young people today

26. know nothing about fine arts,

27. prepare to be stimulated

28. by a true performer.

29. - Ryan Seacrest?

30. - Gibby!

31. Now, some of you may know,

32. my ancestors hail

33. from Scotland,

34. the home of plaid.

35. And so, please welcome,

36. Scottish highland dancer,

37. Benjamin Yip.

38. Um, Ms. Briggs?

39. What does Scottish highland

40. dancing have to do with...

41. Boo!

42. Stop that!

43. Not you!

44. How dare you children

45. boo a dancing Scotsman?

46. - Who started the boos?

47. - Gibby.

48. No, I didn't. It was Sam.

49. I will not be a victim.

50. Sam, you have detention.

51. I'm used to it.

52. Mr. Yip, you may dance again.

53. - Children!

54. - Yay!

55. - In five, four, three, two...

56. Thanks for lettin' me hang

57. at your place this afternoon.

58. No way I can be around

59. my mom right now.

60. You guys fighting?

61. Nah, she's wearing

62. some gross new perfume.

63. Couldn't you smell it?

64. I just thought

65. your cat peed in the car again.

66. I wish.

67. Hey.

68. Hey, you missed

69. a smelly ride home

70. with Sam's mom.

71. Yeah, well,

72. I had to go buy a new backpack

73. 'cause someone

74. dumped her breakfast in mine.

75. You're lucky I didn't dump it

76. down your pants.

77. - Anybody want some iced tea?

78. - Me.

79. - Tea me.

80. - Grab three glasses.

81. So what was up with that whole

82. Scottish dancing thing?

83. Yeah, who wants to see that?

84. At least you two don't have

85. to sit in detention with her.

86. Here you go.

87. Aw, now ya see that?

88. Carly puts a nice slice

89. of lemon on my glass.

90. How does she think of that?

91. - 'Cause Carly's classy.

92. - Oh, and I'm not classy?

93. Classy people don't

94. clean out their ears

95. with their cell phone antenna.

96. That was your

97. cell phone antenna.

98. What?

99. Aww!

100. No wonder

101. I keep droppin' calls.

102. Anyway, what right

103. does an English teacher have

104. to force kids to watch dancing?

105. I wouldn't mind

106. watching good dancing.

107. You know, that could be

108. a fun thing for "iCarly."

109. We have people send in

110. videos of themselves

111. doing their coolest dance.

112. - I'm down.

113. - I dig.

114. Let's do it.

115. Where'd my straw go?

116. Here.

117. And, in five, four, three, two.

118. - I'm Carly.

119. - I'm Sam.

120. - Bon soir.

121. - Hola.

122. - Shalom.

123. - Dirkenshnoff.

124. Dirkenshnoff?

125. It's foreign

126. for "good evening."

127. - In what language?

128. - Foreign-eeze.

129. I don't believe you,

130. but since I have no proof...

131. Dirkenshnoff!

132. Okay, now before

133. we get started...

134. We have a special

135. request for you...

136. Our "iCarly" viewers.

137. We wanna see videos of you guys

138. doing your coolest dance moves.

139. Or your uncoolest dance moves.

140. Any dance moves

141. will be acceptable,

142. like the jitterbug.

143. - The tango.

144. - The mambo.

145. - The Chimichanga.

146. - The woozy jacuzzi.

147. - The butternut trot.

148. - Any dance you like.

149. Just put it on video

150. then upload it right

151. here at iCarly.com.

152. And if your dance

153. is extremely awesome...

154. Or extremely lame...

155. - We might show it here...

156. - For the whole world to see.

157. - And if we do...

158. - You could get paid...

159. - Or not.

160. - Yeah, probably not.

161. - You won't.

162. - Nope.

163. - Hi.

164. - Why?

165. My stupid lock is broken.

166. I've dialed my combination

167. like ten times,

168. and it won't open.

169. Hey.

170. So I was just checkin'

171. Oh, did we get

172. any dance clips in?

173. Try over 3,000.

174. - No way.

175. - Yep.

176. How are we gonna watch

177. 3,000 dance clips

178. before our next show?

179. We gotta watch like

180. 500 every night.

181. Oh, my God.

182. What are you doing

183. to my locker?

184. This is my locker.

185. No, that's your locker.

186. Oh, yeah.

187. Thanks, Gibby.

188. Let's go, guys.

189. I give her a seven.

190. - Six.

191. - Seven.

192. Weird you'd agree with Carly.

193. Weird you'd say that.

194. How many more dance clips

195. do we have to watch tonight?

196. Uhh, so far we've watched 472.

197. So we have 28 more to go.

198. Hey, whatcha guys

199. "ohhh'ing about?

200. We're trying to find cool

201. dancers to show on "iCarly."

202. Ooh, are relatives eligible?

203. - Uh, sure.

204. - I guess.

205. Yes!

206. See, when I was

207. in the tenth grade,

208. I invented

209. the coolest dance ever.

210. I named it "the firecracker."

211. You guys

212. have heard of it, right?

213. - Not really.

214. - Never.

215. Oh.

216. So, why'd you call

217. it the firecracker?

218. 'Cause I move my legs

219. in a fiery explosion

220. of flailing limbs

221. and floppy passion.

222. Wanna see it?

223. - Yeah.

224. - Sure.

225. Okay,

226. I gotta go find my helmet

227. and my shin guards.

228. Okay.

229. Dance clip number 473.

230. My name's Darby,

231. and this is the dance called

232. "the prancing nightingale".

233. - Zero.

234. - Zero.

235. - Bye, Darby.

236. - Next.

237. Where did I put my helmet?

238. Nope.

239. - Two.

240. - One.

241. - Bye, Courtney.

242. - Next.

243. Here's that biscuit

244. with cheese I lost.

245. Next.

246. - Whoa!

247. - Hello!

248. Hey, Carly, Sam,

249. love your web show.

250. - Here's my dance.

251. - I don't like him.

252. Are you insane?

253. He's totally hot.

254. - Oh, my God.

255. - That boy's got moves.

256. Come on, he's a total nub.

257. If he's a nub then

258. someday I wanna be

259. Mrs. Carly nub.

260. Where is my helmet?

261. Just give me your rating.

262. - How high can we go?

263. - Ten.

264. - Four billion.

265. - Four billion and three.

266. I'm gonna go get a juice pouch.

267. - Move! Come on, move! Move!

268. - Move! Move! Move!

269. [fast-paced electronic music

270. playing]

271. Five hundred dance videos.

272. I know. I'm so tired.

273. My brain is fried.

274. And you know what's nutty?

275. I don't even remember

276. waking up this morning.

277. Yeah, I don't either.

278. Weird.

279. Okay, does someone wanna

280. explain what's going on?

281. - This is insane.

282. - What's wrong with everybody?

283. Hey.

284. Hey, you guys.

285. We should...

286. We should probably go to...

287. Sleep.

288. All right, students,

289. take your seats.

290. Detention is about to begin.

291. I said take your seats!

292. All right, since you're

293. all in detention,

294. that means that each

295. of you is rotten

296. in your own special way.

297. Oh, yeah.

298. Now, for the next two hours,

299. I'm going to play

300. these bagpipes.

301. Why not just shove

302. scissors in our ears?

303. And just so you'll be sure

304. to hear them...

305. Uh, were those amps there

306. a few seconds ago?

307. Hello, Ridgeway! I am Briggs!

308. Aw, man, this is torture!

309. Hey, when did she

310. change clothes?

311. When did you guys

312. change clothes?

313. When did I change clothes?

314. Okay, you people are

315. out of your minds.

316. Okay, why am I dancing?

317. This shouldn't be happening!

318. I am not enjoying this.

319. When did I learn these moves?

320. Someone tell me

321. what's goin' on!

322. How am I doing this?

323. Hey, I'm not flexible!

324. What?

325. Hey!

326. Quit it, feet!

327. Why am I pointing?

328. What's with the bagpipes?

329. Who choreographed this?

330. Someone help me!

331. Okay, why are we marching?

332. Let's... okay, whoa.

333. What? Oh, no!

334. Not a cartwheel!

335. Aah! Oh, no, the splits!

336. Whoa...

337. what are you doing with me?

338. Let go! Let go of me!

339. Am I too late for the test?

340. Get out of here, Gibby,

341. this is my nightmare!

342. Oh, come on, he's a total nub.

343. If he's a nub,

344. then someday I wanna be

345. Mrs. Carly nub.

346. - That boy's got moves.

347. - He's a total nub.

348. Total nub. Total nub.

349. Hey, baby.

350. You know,

351. you shouldn't have called

352. your web show "iCarly."

353. You should've called

354. it you-purdy.

355. Oh, come on, now,

356. don't be like that.

357. Hey, why don't you give Zeke

358. a little kiss right here?

359. Just leave me alone.

360. Hey.

361. Zeke don't take

362. no for an answer.

363. She said leave her alone.

364. Yeah?

365. And what are you

366. gonna do about it?

367. I'm gonna dance.

368. Yeah, Zeke!

369. - Chicken!

370. - Gonna cry to your mommy?

371. Whoo!

372. What, what?

373. Check it out, wah!

374. Back up! Back up!

375. What, what, what?

376. Ugh!

377. Yeah!

378. Sam?

379. Sam?

380. Sam?

381. Freddie?

382. Where'd ya go?

383. Where's the furniture?

384. Okay, there was a huge

385. couch right there.

386. And where'd this

387. dress come from?

388. Ugh, I need some juice.

389. Hey.

390. Wait, you're not juice.

391. Oh, juice boy's got a friend.

392. Uh, I'll be back

393. in a few minutes.

394. And three more.

395. Okay, how many well-dressed

396. cute boys are in my apartment?

397. 'Kay, why don't you guys

398. just make yourselves at home,

399. and I'll just go

400. to some other place

401. where hopefully

402. things make sense.

403. Okay, I don't know

404. what's going on here,

405. but I think I like it.

406. Carly! Carly!

407. Hey, I found it!

408. Carly!

409. I found it! Wake up!

410. - What?

411. - What?

412. I found my dance helmet.

413. Okay, you guys ready to see me

414. dance the firecracker?

415. - No.

416. - No chance.

417. But it's an explosion

418. of floppy passion.

419. We've seen all the dancing

420. we wanna see in one night.

421. Yeah. I gotta get home before

422. my mom has a panic attack.

423. I can spend

424. the night here, right?

425. Sure.

426. - Later.

427. - See ya.

428. - Night.

429. - Cute helmet.

430. You look like a ladybug.

431. Looks like I found you

432. for nothing.

433. Oh, well.

434. Aah!

435. I don't know

436. what's goin' on here,

437. but I think I like it.

438. Pow!

439. What?

440. No!

441. Yeah!

442. Weird.