1. Hey, Carly. Hey, Sam.
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2. Watch me take off my glasses.
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3. Cool.
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4. I give "glasses with feet girl"
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5. an eight.
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6. - I give her a nine.
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7. - Seven.
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8. But I give Freddie
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9. a negative 2.
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10. - For what?
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11. - Just for being you.
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12. You know, they say when a girl
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13. constantly rips on a guy,
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14. it really just means
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15. she has a crush on him.
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16. Yeah, but I wasn't rippin'
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17. on a guy.
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18. I was rippin' on you.
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19. Oh, yeah?
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20. - That's right.
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21. - Hey, quit it, you two.
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22. We gotta get through this
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23. and pick videos
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24. for our next webcast.
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25. Okay.
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26. Here's one from a kid named,
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27. Andy, who has a turtle.
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28. Playin'.
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29. Hi, iCarly.
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30. This is my pet turtle.
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31. His name is Doctor Nub.
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32. Doctor Nub?
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33. No way that turtle
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34. went to med school.
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35. Roll over, Doctor Nub.
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36. Come on, boy, roll over.
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37. Ta-da.
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38. - Zero.
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39. - Lame.
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40. Negative nine.
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41. - Next.
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42. - Okay.
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43. Here's one from two guys
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44. both named Chris.
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45. What-up, Carly and Sam?
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46. What is up, yo?
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47. - I'm Chris.
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48. - And I'm also Chris.
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49. - And we're best buds.
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50. - BFBs.
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51. I like Chris,
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52. but Chris
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53. kind of creeps me out.
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54. Not only are we best buds.
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55. We're also the world's
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56. greatest meat drummers.
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57. Meat drummers?
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58. - Okay, this is great.
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59. - Ten.
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60. - Ten.
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61. - Ten.
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62. And the best friend
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63. meat drummers
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64. get to be on iCarly.
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65. Yeah, meat drummers!
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66. Hey, speaking of best friends,
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67. you know what today is?
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68. - The 25th?
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69. - Yup.
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70. - No way.
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71. - What's the 25th?
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72. The five-year anniversary
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73. of when Sam and I first met.
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74. Yup.
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75. I remember it like
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76. it was only five years ago.
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77. Hey, I'm Sam.
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78. Hi, I'm Carly.
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79. Can I have that sandwich?
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80. No way, get your own.
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81. Ow!
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82. You're all right.
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83. Wow.
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84. So, even back then,
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85. you were obnoxious
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86. and aggressive.
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87. Yeah.
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88. Can you believe we became
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89. friends over a tuna sandwich?
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90. - And now, you hate tuna.
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91. - No.
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92. I hate the way
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93. that British chick
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94. in our history class says
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95. "tuna."
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96. Oh, yeah. Tyooon-uh. Tyooon-uh.
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97. Oh, I just adore tyoooon-uh.
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98. Tyooon-uh.
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99. Yeah, don't play along,
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100. all right?
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101. Anyway, since it's
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102. our friendship anniversary,
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103. I got you a little somethin'.
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104. Wait, you got me a present?
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105. Ta-da.
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106. Oh, you shouldn't have gotten—
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107. gimme it.
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108. Whoa, you got me
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109. an iCarly T-shirt.
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110. Look on the back.
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111. Oh, it's our heads.
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112. In shirt form.
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113. - This is so insane.
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114. - Oh, it's no big deal.
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115. Oh, please.
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116. I love this.
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117. How great are you?
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118. I don't know. Very?
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119. Hey, you know
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120. what I'm gonna get you?
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121. Oh, you don't have to get me—
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122. Tickets to the Cuddlefish
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123. concert for next Friday night.
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124. - You and me, kid.
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125. - Well, that'd be awesome.
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126. But that concert's
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127. been sold out for months.
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128. You let me worry about that.
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129. I got ways, Carly Shay.
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130. And you know what else I got?
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131. Pimples on your butt?
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132. He was smart to run.
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133. In five, four, three, two...
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134. Is Sam gone?
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135. - Yeah, she left.
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136. - Good.
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137. Then I won't be needing this.
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138. I like this song.
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139. Pretty romantic, huh?
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140. You feelin' the mood?
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141. Yeah, I'm feeling the mood.
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142. I'm sad.
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143. Why?
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144. I was just at a funeral.
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145. - In the bathroom?
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146. - Yeah.
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147. It's for my fish, Reggie.
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148. I loved that little guy.
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149. Even as I dropped
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150. his lifeless carcass
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151. into the toilet.
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152. You forgot to feed him again,
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153. didn't you?
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154. I'm not good with pets
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155. that eat on a regular basis.
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156. You're lucky you know
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157. how to use the microwave.
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158. I know, or else I'd be waving
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159. goodbye from Spencer's toilet.
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160. All right. You just wait.
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161. I'm gonna prove to you
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162. that I can be a good,
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163. responsible fish owner.
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164. No, you're not
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165. getting another fish.
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166. All right.
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167. Starting right now.
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168. - I will not get another fish.
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169. - Move.
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170. - Why?
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171. - Move.
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172. I don't see—okay.
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173. You already bought
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174. another fish.
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175. His name is Swimmy.
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176. Could you step back a few feet?
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177. I get asked that a lot.
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178. Hey, Rodney, can you hook me up
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179. with somethin'?
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180. Sure, but I'm with a customer
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181. right now,
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182. so you gotta wait.
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183. - Hurry.
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184. - Ah.
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185. How about these?
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186. Whoa, Laotian tissues.
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187. They're made
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188. from real peacock feathers.
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189. Peacocks.
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190. - Twenty bucks.
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191. - Twenty?
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192. You care about your nose
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193. or not?
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194. You swear they're Laotian?
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195. Guaranteed.
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196. I'll take 'em.
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197. Look at my foreign tissues.
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198. Yes, your snot is very lucky.
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199. Bye.
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200. So soft.
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201. Nice shirt. ICarly.
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202. - Awesome web show.
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203. - Thanks.
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204. You guys sell those shirts?
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205. Nah, this is one of a kind.
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206. Listen, I need concert tickets.
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207. You came to the right place.
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208. I got Flaming Teeth,
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209. Backflesh, Yellow Day.
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210. Cuddlefish. This Friday.
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211. That's a tough get.
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212. - How much?
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213. - Hundred bucks.
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214. - A hundred?
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215. - Each.
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216. Well, I see why they call you
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217. Rip-Off Rodney.
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218. It's hurtful, yet appropriate.
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219. Whatever. Forget it.
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220. I don't have 200 bucks.
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221. Wait.
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222. You up for a trade?
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223. What do you want?
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224. - That shirt.
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225. - Why?
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226. 'Cause iCarly's a hot web show.
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227. The more popular it gets,
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228. the more the shirt
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229. will be worth.
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230. Trade?
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231. Spencer, have you seen Sam?
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232. We got eight minutes
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233. 'til show time.
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234. - I haven't seen her.
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235. - Where is she?
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236. Ow, dang it.
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237. What are you doing?
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238. Well, since I keep forgetting
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239. to feed my fish,
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240. I decided to use
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241. my sculpting skills
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242. to build
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243. an automatic fish feeder.
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244. Maybe now Swimmy
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245. won't go hungry.
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246. Oh, no.
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247. Sadly Swimmy went very hungry.
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248. This is Brock.
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249. You only had Swimmy
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250. for two days.
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251. His last two days, actually.
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252. But that's why I'm building
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253. the fish feeder
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254. to avoid another fish-uneral.
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255. I'm here, I'm here.
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256. Don't freak.
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257. Do you realize
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258. the show starts in—
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259. Four minutes.
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260. I better go polish my lens.
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261. Where were you?
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262. Why didn't you call?
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263. Why are you wearing that shirt?
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264. I am wearing
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265. this hideous shirt
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266. because I got these.
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267. - Oh, my God.
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268. - Yeah?
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269. - Cuddlefish tickets.
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270. - Yeah, baby, let it out.
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271. Where'd you get these?
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272. They're totally sold out.
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273. That guy Rodney from school,
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274. the dude who gets arrested
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275. all the time.
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276. Oh, my God, he must have
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277. charged you a fortune.
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278. Zero.
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279. I traded him the shirt
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280. you gave me for the tickets.
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281. You traded the shirt?
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282. Yeah. Knuckle-touch.
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283. I'm not touching your knuckles.
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284. Why? They're clean.
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285. I washed them yesterday, see?
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286. How could you trade the shirt
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287. that I made for you
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288. to some sleazy kid?
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289. Two minutes, guys.
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290. Wait.
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291. I didn't just give it away.
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292. I traded the shirt
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293. for something you really wanted
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294. and something
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295. we can do together.
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296. But that shirt was special.
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297. It was the very first
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298. iCarly T-shirt ever.
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299. You know, I spent, like,
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300. two weeks making it for you?
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301. You said it was no big deal.
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302. Oh, that's just
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303. something people say
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304. when they give you a present.
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305. "Oh, it's no big deal."
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306. It's always a big deal.
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307. Hey.
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308. You know that iCarly thing
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309. we do?
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310. Yeah, it's time for that.
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311. - I can't believe you.
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312. - Look,
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313. make me another shirt
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314. if you wanna
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315. after we go
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316. to the Cuddlefish concert.
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317. I'm not going to the concert
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318. with you.
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319. Oh, now,
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320. you're being ridiculous.
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321. Better than being
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322. a gift-giver-awayer.
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323. - Just forget it.
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324. - Fine.
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325. - Don't go to the concert.
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326. - I won't.
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327. - I don't even care.
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328. - I care way less than you care.
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329. You don't know
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330. how much I don't care.
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331. Oh, all you ever think
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332. about is ham.
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333. I'd rather have a shirt
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334. made of ham.
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335. I can't believe
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336. you just gave it away.
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337. I can't believe we're having
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338. this stupid conversation.
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339. - Don't talk to me.
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340. - I'm not talkin' to you.
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341. By saying you're talking to me,
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342. you are talking to me.
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343. - It is not.
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344. - Just don't talk to me.
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345. - Don't talk to me. Fine.
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346. - Fine.
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347. - Whatever.
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348. - Whatevs.
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349. Oh, why would I make you
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350. another one?
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351. Good, 'cause I don't want
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352. another one.
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353. I thought you said
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354. you weren't gonna talk to me.
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355. I'll stop
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356. when you stop talkin' to me.
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357. Don't you give me ultimatums.
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358. Don't use words
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359. I can't understand.
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360. You clearly don't care
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361. about my feelings.
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362. And you clearly
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363. won't stop talkin' to me.
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364. Yeah, 'cause you keep sucking
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365. me back into the conversation.
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366. Ten seconds.
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367. Why don't you just forget about
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368. the shirt and the concert?
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369. Fine.
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370. Good 'cause I'm takin'
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371. Melanie Katz
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372. to see Cuddlefish with me.
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373. Oh, like, you're such
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374. good friends with Melanie Katz.
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375. That's right.
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376. Melanie Katz is my best friend.
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377. Then you should know
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378. she's been in the hospital
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379. since last Christmas.
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380. - So, I forgot.
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381. - We're live.
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382. Hola, señors.
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383. And señoritas.
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384. Welcome to iCarly.
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385. Me llamo Carly.
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386. And you may-yammo me Sam.
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387. Arriba!
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388. Okay.
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389. Before we do our thing...
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390. We're startin' off the show
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391. with a viewer-submitted video.
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392. Check out this clip
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393. of a little girl giving her mom
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394. a big surprise.
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395. Okay, honey.
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396. Open your next present.
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397. Oh, this is a big one.
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398. - Happy birthday, Mommy.
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399. Poor mom had no idea
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400. that was comin'.
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401. - Heck of a birthday present.
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402. - Yes.
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403. A present I'm sure
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404. that little girl's mom
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405. wouldn't trade for anything
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406. since it came from someone
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407. she cares about.
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408. Yeah, but I bet
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409. if she traded it for something
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410. that they could
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411. both do together,
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412. the daughter
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413. would have been happy
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414. and not freaked out about it
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415. like a psycho maniac.
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416. Maybe you should just do
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417. the show without me.
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418. No, you do it without me.
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419. Don't you walk away
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420. from me, Sam.
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421. - Too late, I'm already leaving.
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422. - Yeah, 'cause you know
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423. what you did was wrong.
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424. - Keep dreamin'.
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425. Why can't you ever just admit
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426. what you did was wrong
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427. and apologize?
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428. Why don't you quit yappin'
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429. before you get
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430. on my last nerve?
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431. You can never back down,
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432. can you?
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433. - I got no reason to back down.
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434. - What you did was horrible.
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435. Your attitude is horrible.
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436. - Oh, is it?
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437. - Sure is.
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438. iCarly is experiencing
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439. technical difficulties.
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440. Hey, Sam, love my shirt.
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441. Would you guys
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442. just quit fighting
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443. and make up already?
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444. Sure.
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445. As soon as Sam apologizes.
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446. I've got nothing
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447. to apologize for.
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448. And neither do I.
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449. Okay.
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450. Okay. Okay!
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451. This is so stupid.
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452. You guys are best friends.
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453. Were best friends.
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454. - Bleh!
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455. - Bleh!
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456. Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! Bleh!
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457. Hey!
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458. And what about iCarly?
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459. If you two hate each other,
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460. what's gonna happen
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461. to the show?
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462. Think about our fans and me.
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463. Without iCarly,
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464. I'm back to painting clay mugs
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465. with my mom at "Color Me Pot."
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466. Maybe Freddie is right.
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467. Yeah.
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468. Maybe things got
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469. a little out of control.
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470. And this whole thing happened
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471. 'cause we were trying to do
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472. something nice for each other.
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473. So—
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474. If I say, "I'm sorry,"
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475. will you?
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476. Sure.
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477. Look, Sam, I didn't mean
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478. to say that—
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479. Oh, man, Sam,
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480. thank you so much for taking me
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481. to the Cuddlefish concert.
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482. It was the most
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483. awesome concert ever.
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484. Remember at the end
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485. when they played
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486. "Rock Me, Love Me,"
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487. and we held up our cell phones
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488. to illuminate the darkness?
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489. Whoa, I have to go
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490. to algebra class. Bye.
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491. You went to the concert?
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492. And you took Tareen?
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493. Oh, no.
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494. You refused to go.
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495. I wasn't just gonna
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496. waste the tickets.
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497. You got those for us.
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498. They were so close.
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499. You said you weren't gonna come
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500. right before you called me
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501. a gift-giver-awayer.
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502. I can't believe
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503. I almost made up with you.
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504. Back at you.
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505. You were about to hug.
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506. Why were you just slamming
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507. those lockers?
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508. But I wasn't.
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509. You see it was that—
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510. - Come with me.
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511. - Oh!
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512. - Hey, Spencer.
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513. - Hey, Fred-o.
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514. - Carly's not home yet.
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515. - I know.
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516. But can I still come in though?
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517. - Do you need to borrow money?
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518. - No.
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519. Please come in.
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520. What's the matter?
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521. You look glum.
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522. - I am glum.
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523. - Why so glum?
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524. - Can we stop saying glum?
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525. - Sure.
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526. Carly and Sam
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527. are still fighting.
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528. Yeah, I've been worried
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529. about Carly.
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530. She's been really glum—glumpy.
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531. Things haven't gotten better?
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532. They've gotten
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533. the opposite of better.
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534. So worse.
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535. Uh-huh.
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536. And we have to do
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537. the web show tonight.
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538. But they'll probably just
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539. start screamin' at each other,
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540. and I'll have to fake
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541. technical difficulties
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542. and go—
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543. Again.
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544. Look, in my life,
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545. I've learned a thing
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546. or two about girls.
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547. Like?
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548. Like when you break up
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549. with them,
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550. they do not like it
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551. when you ask out their sister.
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552. That'll get you a fork
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553. in your arm.
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554. How does this help me?
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555. Look, when girls get mad
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556. about something,
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557. they just wanna be told
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558. they're right.
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559. Well, then,
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560. that's a big problem,
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561. 'cause Carly and Sam
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562. can't both be right.
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563. Or can they?
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564. No, you're right, they can't.
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565. So do you have anything
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566. helpful to say here?
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567. - Helpful?
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568. - Yeah.
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569. No.
Copy !req
570. But hey, you wanna check out
Copy !req
571. my automatic fish feeder?
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572. I'm making it
Copy !req
573. a lot more complicated
Copy !req
574. than it needs to be.
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575. - Why?
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576. - 'Cause it's fun.
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577. It's not finished yet,
Copy !req
578. but check it out.
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579. Okay.
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580. This car is gonna go
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581. around this track,
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582. hit this thing, hit that tank,
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583. shoot at that target,
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584. spill fish flakes
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585. into that bowl.
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586. Here we go.
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587. Swimmy!
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588. I thought that was Brock.
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589. Brock!
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590. Oh, phew.
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591. That was close.
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592. Brock is okay.
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593. Okay.
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594. I'm gonna see
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595. if I can think of a way
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596. to fix things
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597. with Carly and Sam.
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598. Think well, Fred-o.
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599. I wanna start off
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600. doin' my impression of a cat
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601. in a dishwasher.
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602. I told you, we're starting
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603. with the Mexican jump-rope bit.
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604. That bit stinks.
Copy !req
605. Your attitude stinks
Copy !req
606. and I'm in charge
Copy !req
607. of what we do on "iCarly."
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608. Well, I'm doin' the cat
Copy !req
609. in a dishwasher.
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610. Mexican jump-rope.
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611. Wrong, both of you.
Copy !req
612. - Huh?
Copy !req
613. - What?
Copy !req
614. Tonight, I'm in charge
Copy !req
615. of how we're starting the show.
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616. Look, you just point
Copy !req
617. your little camera, tech boy.
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618. Yeah, don't tell us how—
Copy !req
619. We start the show how I say,
Copy !req
620. or you guys can get yourself
Copy !req
621. a new tech producer.
Copy !req
622. - He's bluffin'.
Copy !req
623. - I don't bluff.
Copy !req
624. Okay, I was bluffin'
Copy !req
625. when I said I don't bluff,
Copy !req
626. but I'm serious about quittin'.
Copy !req
627. Fine, what do you want us
Copy !req
628. to do?
Copy !req
629. - Go put your hair in ponytails.
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630. - Why?
Copy !req
631. - Why do you want—
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632. - Ponytails!
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633. Okay. We'll put our hair
Copy !req
634. in ponytails.
Copy !req
635. - No need to be so assertive.
Copy !req
636. - Bossy.
Copy !req
637. And in five, four, three, two.
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638. Hello, people of Earth
Copy !req
639. and beyond.
Copy !req
640. This is a little web show
Copy !req
641. we like to call "iCarly."
Copy !req
642. I'm Carly.
Copy !req
643. And I'm Sam.
Copy !req
644. And I'm Freddie.
Copy !req
645. Now, usually,
Copy !req
646. I'm behind the camera.
Copy !req
647. Where you should be.
Copy !req
648. But tonight, we're gonna
Copy !req
649. shake it up a little bit.
Copy !req
650. - Can't wait.
Copy !req
651. - Yay.
Copy !req
652. See, Carly and Sam
Copy !req
653. are in a big fight.
Copy !req
654. And both girls think
Copy !req
655. they're right.
Copy !req
656. - I am right.
Copy !req
657. - You am wrong.
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658. You am obnoxious.
Copy !req
659. See?
Copy !req
660. But this fight
Copy !req
661. is gonna end tonight
Copy !req
662. because you,
Copy !req
663. the fans of "iCarly,"
Copy !req
664. are gonna decide who's right
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665. by voting online,
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666. after the show,
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667. right here at iCarly.com.
Copy !req
668. So what does this have to do
Copy !req
669. with tying up our ponytails?
Copy !req
670. I was getting to that.
Copy !req
671. Both girls are about to give
Copy !req
672. their sides of the story.
Copy !req
673. But if either girl interrupts,
Copy !req
674. says something insulting,
Copy !req
675. or yells,
Copy !req
676. her ponytail will be yanked.
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677. Hard.
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678. - This is ridiculous.
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679. - I ain't doin' this.
Copy !req
680. - Ow!
Copy !req
681. - Ow!
Copy !req
682. Very good.
Copy !req
683. And now, the first girl
Copy !req
684. to speak will be Carly.
Copy !req
685. Boo.
Copy !req
686. She pressed the boo button.
Copy !req
687. Ow!
Copy !req
688. Drop the remote.
Copy !req
689. - Carly, you may begin.
Copy !req
690. - Okay.
Copy !req
691. It started when I gave Sam
Copy !req
692. an "iCarly" T-shirt
Copy !req
693. that I worked so hard to make.
Copy !req
694. It was a really special gift,
Copy !req
695. and then she traded it
Copy !req
696. for concert tickets.
Copy !req
697. You wanted to go
Copy !req
698. to that concert—ow!
Copy !req
699. It's Carly's turn.
Copy !req
700. But she—but I just—
Copy !req
701. well, just let me say—
Copy !req
702. I'll be quiet.
Copy !req
703. I put a lot of thought
Copy !req
704. into that gift
Copy !req
705. and then Sam
Copy !req
706. just traded it away.
Copy !req
707. And then she went
Copy !req
708. to the concert without me.
Copy !req
709. - But—
Copy !req
710. - Ah!
Copy !req
711. And Sam still hasn't apologized
Copy !req
712. for trading away a present
Copy !req
713. that I made her.
Copy !req
714. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
715. Very nice.
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716. Now Sam, you may give
Copy !req
717. your side of the story.
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718. Finally.
Copy !req
719. Okay, first off, Carly said
Copy !req
720. the shirt was no big deal.
Copy !req
721. And the tickets I got were
Copy !req
722. for Cuddlefish,
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723. a concert Carly told me
Copy !req
724. she was dying to go to.
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725. It's her favorite band.
Copy !req
726. Let the record show that
Copy !req
727. Carly is fond of Cuddlefish.
Copy !req
728. So, yeah, I traded the shirt,
Copy !req
729. but it was to get something
Copy !req
730. Carly wanted a lot,
Copy !req
731. something the two of us
Copy !req
732. could've done together.
Copy !req
733. And Carly refused to go
Copy !req
734. to the concert so—
Copy !req
735. I would've gone with you
Copy !req
736. if you'd just apologized.
Copy !req
737. She interrupted me.
Copy !req
738. Yank her ponytail.
Copy !req
739. No, I'm gonna allow it.
Copy !req
740. - Why?
Copy !req
741. - Because I love her.
Copy !req
742. Give me the rope.
Copy !req
743. Ow!
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744. You're not the rope-keeper.
Copy !req
745. - Ow!
Copy !req
746. - Ow!
Copy !req
747. - It hurts.
Copy !req
748. - Stop.
Copy !req
749. - You guys stop it.
Copy !req
750. - You stop.
Copy !req
751. You're missing
Copy !req
752. the point of this activity.
Copy !req
753. - Knock it off, you guys—
Copy !req
754. - Stop it.
Copy !req
755. You're stressing
Copy !req
756. your ponytails.
Copy !req
757. My hair feels like
Copy !req
758. it was attacked
Copy !req
759. by a vacuum cleaner.
Copy !req
760. Mine feels like it was yanked
Copy !req
761. by a Freddie.
Copy !req
762. Could you please just hurry up
Copy !req
763. and count up the votes?
Copy !req
764. Okay.
Copy !req
765. Now before I tell you who won,
Copy !req
766. do you guys promise
Copy !req
767. to accept the decision?
Copy !req
768. Loser apologizes?
Copy !req
769. - Sure.
Copy !req
770. - Okay.
Copy !req
771. Then here we go.
Copy !req
772. Sam, the number
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773. of "iCarly" viewers
Copy !req
774. who think you're right, 693.
Copy !req
775. I got 693 votes.
Copy !req
776. And how many votes did I get?
Copy !req
777. Seven hundred and five.
Copy !req
778. - Ha. Looks like—
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779. - Wait.
Copy !req
780. I put up a third option
Copy !req
781. for them to vote for.
Copy !req
782. - Huh?
Copy !req
783. - What?
Copy !req
784. First button says
Copy !req
785. Carly's right.
Copy !req
786. Second button said Sam's right.
Copy !req
787. The third button said,
Copy !req
788. "Carly and Sam
Copy !req
789. are both acting dumb,
Copy !req
790. "and they should just make up
Copy !req
791. and be friends again."
Copy !req
792. How many people voted
Copy !req
793. for that one?
Copy !req
794. 253,719.
Copy !req
795. Our fans don't like it
Copy !req
796. when best friends fight.
Copy !req
797. Neither do I.
Copy !req
798. - Aw, Sam, you're crying.
Copy !req
799. - No.
Copy !req
800. Freddie is just such a dork,
Copy !req
801. it makes me
Copy !req
802. emotional sometimes.
Copy !req
803. - I'm sorry.
Copy !req
804. - I'm sorry.
Copy !req
805. Oh, I see hugging.
Copy !req
806. Does everyone
Copy !req
807. like each other again?
Copy !req
808. - Yes.
Copy !req
809. - Excellent.
Copy !req
810. I say this calls
Copy !req
811. for a lovely fish dinner.
Copy !req
812. - You're cooking fish?
Copy !req
813. - No.
Copy !req
814. We're feeding dinner to a fish.
Copy !req
815. My fish.
Copy !req
816. I run to the kitchen.
Copy !req
817. See, I finished
Copy !req
818. my automatic fish feeder.
Copy !req
819. Are you children ready?
Copy !req
820. - Ready.
Copy !req
821. - Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
822. Thank you. Thank you.
Copy !req
823. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
824. And now, I shall never again
Copy !req
825. forget to feed my fish.
Copy !req
826. But wait, don't you
Copy !req
827. still have to remember
Copy !req
828. to put that ball back
Copy !req
829. at the top every day?
Copy !req
830. I'm going to bed.
Copy !req
831. You're takin' him
Copy !req
832. back to the pet store?
Copy !req
833. Yep.
Copy !req
834. Hi, Carly, Sam, and Freddie.
Copy !req
835. These balls are for you.
Copy !req
836. "iCarly" rocks.
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