1.  Hey, Carly. Hey, Sam. 
			  
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2.  Watch me take off my glasses. 
			  
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3.  Cool. 
			  
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4.  I give "glasses with feet girl" 
			  
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5.  an eight. 
			  
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6.  - I give her a nine. 
			  
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7.  - Seven. 
			  
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8.  But I give Freddie 
			  
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9.  a negative 2. 
			  
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10.  - For what? 
			  
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11.  - Just for being you. 
			  
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12.  You know, they say when a girl 
			  
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13.  constantly rips on a guy, 
			  
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14.  it really just means 
			  
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15.  she has a crush on him. 
			  
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16.  Yeah, but I wasn't rippin' 
			  
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17.  on a guy. 
			  
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18.  I was rippin' on you. 
			  
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19.  Oh, yeah? 
			  
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20.  - That's right. 
			  
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21.  - Hey, quit it, you two. 
			  
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22.  We gotta get through this 
			  
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23.  and pick videos 
			  
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24.  for our next webcast. 
			  
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25.  Okay. 
			  
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26.  Here's one from a kid named, 
			  
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27.  Andy, who has a turtle. 
			  
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28.  Playin'. 
			  
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29.  Hi, iCarly. 
			  
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30.  This is my pet turtle. 
			  
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31.  His name is Doctor Nub. 
			  
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32.  Doctor Nub? 
			  
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33.  No way that turtle 
			  
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34.  went to med school. 
			  
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35.  Roll over, Doctor Nub. 
			  
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36.  Come on, boy, roll over. 
			  
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37.  Ta-da. 
			  
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38.  - Zero. 
			  
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39.  - Lame. 
			  
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40.  Negative nine. 
			  
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41.  - Next. 
			  
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42.  - Okay. 
			  
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43.  Here's one from two guys 
			  
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44.  both named Chris. 
			  
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45.  What-up, Carly and Sam? 
			  
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46.  What is up, yo? 
			  
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47.  - I'm Chris. 
			  
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48.  - And I'm also Chris. 
			  
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49.  - And we're best buds. 
			  
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50.  - BFBs. 
			  
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51.  I like Chris, 
			  
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52.  but Chris 
			  
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53.  kind of creeps me out. 
			  
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54.  Not only are we best buds. 
			  
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55.  We're also the world's 
			  
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56.  greatest meat drummers. 
			  
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57.  Meat drummers? 
			  
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58.  - Okay, this is great. 
			  
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59.  - Ten. 
			  
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60.  - Ten. 
			  
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61.  - Ten. 
			  
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62.  And the best friend 
			  
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63.  meat drummers 
			  
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64.  get to be on iCarly. 
			  
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65.  Yeah, meat drummers! 
			  
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66.  Hey, speaking of best friends, 
			  
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67.  you know what today is? 
			  
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68.  - The 25th? 
			  
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69.  - Yup. 
			  
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70.  - No way. 
			  
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71.  - What's the 25th? 
			  
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72.  The five-year anniversary 
			  
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73.  of when Sam and I first met. 
			  
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74.  Yup. 
			  
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75.  I remember it like 
			  
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76.  it was only five years ago. 
			  
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77.  Hey, I'm Sam. 
			  
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78.  Hi, I'm Carly. 
			  
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79.  Can I have that sandwich? 
			  
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80.  No way, get your own. 
			  
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81.  Ow! 
			  
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82.  You're all right. 
			  
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83.  Wow. 
			  
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84.  So, even back then, 
			  
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85.  you were obnoxious 
			  
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86.  and aggressive. 
			  
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87.  Yeah. 
			  
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88.  Can you believe we became 
			  
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89.  friends over a tuna sandwich? 
			  
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90.  - And now, you hate tuna. 
			  
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91.  - No. 
			  
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92.  I hate the way 
			  
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93.  that British chick 
			  
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94.  in our history class says 
			  
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95.  "tuna." 
			  
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96.  Oh, yeah. Tyooon-uh. Tyooon-uh. 
			  
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97.  Oh, I just adore tyoooon-uh. 
			  
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98.  Tyooon-uh. 
			  
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99.  Yeah, don't play along, 
			  
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100.  all right? 
			  
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101.  Anyway, since it's 
			  
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102.  our friendship anniversary, 
			  
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103.  I got you a little somethin'. 
			  
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104.  Wait, you got me a present? 
			  
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105.  Ta-da. 
			  
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106.  Oh, you shouldn't have gotten— 
			  
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107.  gimme it. 
			  
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108.  Whoa, you got me 
			  
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109.  an iCarly T-shirt. 
			  
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110.  Look on the back. 
			  
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111.  Oh, it's our heads. 
			  
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112.  In shirt form. 
			  
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113.  - This is so insane. 
			  
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114.  - Oh, it's no big deal. 
			  
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115.  Oh, please. 
			  
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116.  I love this. 
			  
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117.  How great are you? 
			  
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118.  I don't know. Very? 
			  
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119.  Hey, you know 
			  
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120.  what I'm gonna get you? 
			  
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121.  Oh, you don't have to get me— 
			  
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122.  Tickets to the Cuddlefish 
			  
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123.  concert for next Friday night. 
			  
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124.  - You and me, kid. 
			  
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125.  - Well, that'd be awesome. 
			  
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126.  But that concert's 
			  
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127.  been sold out for months. 
			  
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128.  You let me worry about that. 
			  
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129.  I got ways, Carly Shay. 
			  
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130.  And you know what else I got? 
			  
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131.  Pimples on your butt? 
			  
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132.  He was smart to run. 
			  
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133.  In five, four, three, two... 
			  
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134.  Is Sam gone? 
			  
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135.  - Yeah, she left. 
			  
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136.  - Good. 
			  
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137.  Then I won't be needing this. 
			  
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138.  I like this song. 
			  
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139.  Pretty romantic, huh? 
			  
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140.  You feelin' the mood? 
			  
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141.  Yeah, I'm feeling the mood. 
			  
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142.  I'm sad. 
			  
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143.  Why? 
			  
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144.  I was just at a funeral. 
			  
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145.  - In the bathroom? 
			  
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146.  - Yeah. 
			  
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147.  It's for my fish, Reggie. 
			  
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148.  I loved that little guy. 
			  
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149.  Even as I dropped 
			  
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150.  his lifeless carcass 
			  
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151.  into the toilet. 
			  
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152.  You forgot to feed him again, 
			  
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153.  didn't you? 
			  
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154.  I'm not good with pets 
			  
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155.  that eat on a regular basis. 
			  
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156.  You're lucky you know 
			  
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157.  how to use the microwave. 
			  
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158.  I know, or else I'd be waving 
			  
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159.  goodbye from Spencer's toilet. 
			  
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160.  All right. You just wait. 
			  
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161.  I'm gonna prove to you 
			  
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162.  that I can be a good, 
			  
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163.  responsible fish owner. 
			  
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164.  No, you're not 
			  
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165.  getting another fish. 
			  
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166.  All right. 
			  
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167.  Starting right now. 
			  
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168.  - I will not get another fish. 
			  
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169.  - Move. 
			  
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170.  - Why? 
			  
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171.  - Move. 
			  
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172.  I don't see—okay. 
			  
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173.  You already bought 
			  
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174.  another fish. 
			  
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175.  His name is Swimmy. 
			  
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176.  Could you step back a few feet? 
			  
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177.  I get asked that a lot. 
			  
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178.  Hey, Rodney, can you hook me up 
			  
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179.  with somethin'? 
			  
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180.  Sure, but I'm with a customer 
			  
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181.  right now, 
			  
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182.  so you gotta wait. 
			  
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183.  - Hurry. 
			  
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184.  - Ah. 
			  
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185.  How about these? 
			  
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186.  Whoa, Laotian tissues. 
			  
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187.  They're made 
			  
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188.  from real peacock feathers. 
			  
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189.  Peacocks. 
			  
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190.  - Twenty bucks. 
			  
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191.  - Twenty? 
			  
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192.  You care about your nose 
			  
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193.  or not? 
			  
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194.  You swear they're Laotian? 
			  
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195.  Guaranteed. 
			  
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196.  I'll take 'em. 
			  
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197.  Look at my foreign tissues. 
			  
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198.  Yes, your snot is very lucky. 
			  
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199.  Bye. 
			  
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200.  So soft. 
			  
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201.  Nice shirt. ICarly. 
			  
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202.  - Awesome web show. 
			  
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203.  - Thanks. 
			  
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204.  You guys sell those shirts? 
			  
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205.  Nah, this is one of a kind. 
			  
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206.  Listen, I need concert tickets. 
			  
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207.  You came to the right place. 
			  
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208.  I got Flaming Teeth, 
			  
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209.  Backflesh, Yellow Day. 
			  
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210.  Cuddlefish. This Friday. 
			  
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211.  That's a tough get. 
			  
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212.  - How much? 
			  
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213.  - Hundred bucks. 
			  
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214.  - A hundred? 
			  
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215.  - Each. 
			  
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216.  Well, I see why they call you 
			  
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217.  Rip-Off Rodney. 
			  
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218.  It's hurtful, yet appropriate. 
			  
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219.  Whatever. Forget it. 
			  
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220.  I don't have 200 bucks. 
			  
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221.  Wait. 
			  
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222.  You up for a trade? 
			  
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223.  What do you want? 
			  
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224.  - That shirt. 
			  
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225.  - Why? 
			  
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226.  'Cause iCarly's a hot web show. 
			  
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227.  The more popular it gets, 
			  
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228.  the more the shirt 
			  
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229.  will be worth. 
			  
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230.  Trade? 
			  
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231.  Spencer, have you seen Sam? 
			  
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232.  We got eight minutes 
			  
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233.  'til show time. 
			  
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234.  - I haven't seen her. 
			  
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235.  - Where is she? 
			  
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236.  Ow, dang it. 
			  
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237.  What are you doing? 
			  
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238.  Well, since I keep forgetting 
			  
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239.  to feed my fish, 
			  
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240.  I decided to use 
			  
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241.  my sculpting skills 
			  
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242.  to build 
			  
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243.  an automatic fish feeder. 
			  
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244.  Maybe now Swimmy 
			  
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245.  won't go hungry. 
			  
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246.  Oh, no. 
			  
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247.  Sadly Swimmy went very hungry. 
			  
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248.  This is Brock. 
			  
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249.  You only had Swimmy 
			  
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250.  for two days. 
			  
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251.  His last two days, actually. 
			  
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252.  But that's why I'm building 
			  
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253.  the fish feeder 
			  
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254.  to avoid another fish-uneral. 
			  
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255.  I'm here, I'm here. 
			  
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256.  Don't freak. 
			  
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257.  Do you realize 
			  
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258.  the show starts in— 
			  
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259.  Four minutes. 
			  
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260.  I better go polish my lens. 
			  
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261.  Where were you? 
			  
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262.  Why didn't you call? 
			  
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263.  Why are you wearing that shirt? 
			  
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264.  I am wearing 
			  
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265.  this hideous shirt 
			  
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266.  because I got these. 
			  
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267.  - Oh, my God. 
			  
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268.  - Yeah? 
			  
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269.  - Cuddlefish tickets. 
			  
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270.  - Yeah, baby, let it out. 
			  
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271.  Where'd you get these? 
			  
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272.  They're totally sold out. 
			  
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273.  That guy Rodney from school, 
			  
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274.  the dude who gets arrested 
			  
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275.  all the time. 
			  
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276.  Oh, my God, he must have 
			  
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277.  charged you a fortune. 
			  
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278.  Zero. 
			  
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279.  I traded him the shirt 
			  
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280.  you gave me for the tickets. 
			  
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281.  You traded the shirt? 
			  
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282.  Yeah. Knuckle-touch. 
			  
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283.  I'm not touching your knuckles. 
			  
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284.  Why? They're clean. 
			  
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285.  I washed them yesterday, see? 
			  
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286.  How could you trade the shirt 
			  
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287.  that I made for you 
			  
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288.  to some sleazy kid? 
			  
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289.  Two minutes, guys. 
			  
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290.  Wait. 
			  
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291.  I didn't just give it away. 
			  
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292.  I traded the shirt 
			  
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293.  for something you really wanted 
			  
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294.  and something 
			  
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295.  we can do together. 
			  
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296.  But that shirt was special. 
			  
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297.  It was the very first 
			  
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298.  iCarly T-shirt ever. 
			  
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299.  You know, I spent, like, 
			  
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300.  two weeks making it for you? 
			  
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301.  You said it was no big deal. 
			  
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302.  Oh, that's just 
			  
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303.  something people say 
			  
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304.  when they give you a present. 
			  
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305.  "Oh, it's no big deal." 
			  
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306.  It's always a big deal. 
			  
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307.  Hey. 
			  
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308.  You know that iCarly thing 
			  
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309.  we do? 
			  
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310.  Yeah, it's time for that. 
			  
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311.  - I can't believe you. 
			  
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312.  - Look, 
			  
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313.  make me another shirt 
			  
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314.  if you wanna 
			  
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315.  after we go 
			  
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316.  to the Cuddlefish concert. 
			  
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317.  I'm not going to the concert 
			  
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318.  with you. 
			  
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319.  Oh, now, 
			  
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320.  you're being ridiculous. 
			  
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321.  Better than being 
			  
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322.  a gift-giver-awayer. 
			  
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323.  - Just forget it. 
			  
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324.  - Fine. 
			  
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325.  - Don't go to the concert. 
			  
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326.  - I won't. 
			  
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327.  - I don't even care. 
			  
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328.  - I care way less than you care. 
			  
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329.  You don't know 
			  
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330.  how much I don't care. 
			  
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331.  Oh, all you ever think 
			  
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332.  about is ham. 
			  
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333.  I'd rather have a shirt 
			  
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334.  made of ham. 
			  
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335.  I can't believe 
			  
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336.  you just gave it away. 
			  
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337.  I can't believe we're having 
			  
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338.  this stupid conversation. 
			  
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339.  - Don't talk to me. 
			  
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340.  - I'm not talkin' to you. 
			  
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341.  By saying you're talking to me, 
			  
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342.  you are talking to me. 
			  
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343.  - It is not. 
			  
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344.  - Just don't talk to me. 
			  
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345.  - Don't talk to me. Fine. 
			  
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346.  - Fine. 
			  
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347.  - Whatever. 
			  
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348.  - Whatevs. 
			  
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349.  Oh, why would I make you 
			  
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350.  another one? 
			  
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351.  Good, 'cause I don't want 
			  
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352.  another one. 
			  
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353.  I thought you said 
			  
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354.  you weren't gonna talk to me. 
			  
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355.  I'll stop 
			  
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356.  when you stop talkin' to me. 
			  
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357.  Don't you give me ultimatums. 
			  
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358.  Don't use words 
			  
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359.  I can't understand. 
			  
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360.  You clearly don't care 
			  
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361.  about my feelings. 
			  
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362.  And you clearly 
			  
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363.  won't stop talkin' to me. 
			  
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364.  Yeah, 'cause you keep sucking 
			  
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365.  me back into the conversation. 
			  
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366.  Ten seconds. 
			  
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367.  Why don't you just forget about 
			  
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368.  the shirt and the concert? 
			  
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369.  Fine. 
			  
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370.  Good 'cause I'm takin' 
			  
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371.  Melanie Katz 
			  
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372.  to see Cuddlefish with me. 
			  
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373.  Oh, like, you're such 
			  
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374.  good friends with Melanie Katz. 
			  
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375.  That's right. 
			  
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376.  Melanie Katz is my best friend. 
			  
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377.  Then you should know 
			  
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378.  she's been in the hospital 
			  
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379.  since last Christmas. 
			  
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380.  - So, I forgot. 
			  
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381.  - We're live. 
			  
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382.  Hola, señors. 
			  
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383.  And señoritas. 
			  
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384.  Welcome to iCarly. 
			  
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385.  Me llamo Carly. 
			  
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386.  And you may-yammo me Sam. 
			  
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387.  Arriba! 
			  
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388.  Okay. 
			  
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389.  Before we do our thing... 
			  
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390.  We're startin' off the show 
			  
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391.  with a viewer-submitted video. 
			  
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392.  Check out this clip 
			  
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393.  of a little girl giving her mom 
			  
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394.  a big surprise. 
			  
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395.  Okay, honey. 
			  
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396.  Open your next present. 
			  
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397.  Oh, this is a big one. 
			  
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398.  - Happy birthday, Mommy. 
			  
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399.  Poor mom had no idea 
			  
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400.  that was comin'. 
			  
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401.  - Heck of a birthday present. 
			  
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402.  - Yes. 
			  
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403.  A present I'm sure 
			  
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404.  that little girl's mom 
			  
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405.  wouldn't trade for anything 
			  
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406.  since it came from someone 
			  
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407.  she cares about. 
			  
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408.  Yeah, but I bet 
			  
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409.  if she traded it for something 
			  
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410.  that they could 
			  
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411.  both do together, 
			  
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412.  the daughter 
			  
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413.  would have been happy 
			  
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414.  and not freaked out about it 
			  
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415.  like a psycho maniac. 
			  
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416.  Maybe you should just do 
			  
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417.  the show without me. 
			  
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418.  No, you do it without me. 
			  
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419.  Don't you walk away 
			  
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420.  from me, Sam. 
			  
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421.  - Too late, I'm already leaving. 
			  
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422.  - Yeah, 'cause you know 
			  
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423.  what you did was wrong. 
			  
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424.  - Keep dreamin'. 
			  
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425.  Why can't you ever just admit 
			  
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426.  what you did was wrong 
			  
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427.  and apologize? 
			  
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428.  Why don't you quit yappin' 
			  
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429.  before you get 
			  
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430.  on my last nerve? 
			  
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431.  You can never back down, 
			  
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432.  can you? 
			  
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433.  - I got no reason to back down. 
			  
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434.  - What you did was horrible. 
			  
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435.  Your attitude is horrible. 
			  
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436.  - Oh, is it? 
			  
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437.  - Sure is. 
			  
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438.  iCarly is experiencing 
			  
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439.  technical difficulties. 
			  
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440.  Hey, Sam, love my shirt. 
			  
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441.  Would you guys 
			  
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442.  just quit fighting 
			  
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443.  and make up already? 
			  
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444.  Sure. 
			  
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445.  As soon as Sam apologizes. 
			  
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446.  I've got nothing 
			  
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447.  to apologize for. 
			  
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448.  And neither do I. 
			  
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449.  Okay. 
			  
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450.  Okay. Okay! 
			  
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451.  This is so stupid. 
			  
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452.  You guys are best friends. 
			  
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453.  Were best friends. 
			  
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454.  - Bleh! 
			  
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455.  - Bleh! 
			  
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456.  Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! 
			  
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457.  Hey! 
			  
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458.  And what about iCarly? 
			  
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459.  If you two hate each other, 
			  
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460.  what's gonna happen 
			  
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461.  to the show? 
			  
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462.  Think about our fans and me. 
			  
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463.  Without iCarly, 
			  
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464.  I'm back to painting clay mugs 
			  
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465.  with my mom at "Color Me Pot." 
			  
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466.  Maybe Freddie is right. 
			  
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467.  Yeah. 
			  
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468.  Maybe things got 
			  
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469.  a little out of control. 
			  
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470.  And this whole thing happened 
			  
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471.  'cause we were trying to do 
			  
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472.  something nice for each other. 
			  
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473.  So— 
			  
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474.  If I say, "I'm sorry," 
			  
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475.  will you? 
			  
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476.  Sure. 
			  
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477.  Look, Sam, I didn't mean 
			  
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478.  to say that— 
			  
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479.  Oh, man, Sam, 
			  
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480.  thank you so much for taking me 
			  
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481.  to the Cuddlefish concert. 
			  
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482.  It was the most 
			  
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483.  awesome concert ever. 
			  
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484.  Remember at the end 
			  
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485.  when they played 
			  
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486.  "Rock Me, Love Me," 
			  
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487.  and we held up our cell phones 
			  
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488.  to illuminate the darkness? 
			  
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489.  Whoa, I have to go 
			  
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490.  to algebra class. Bye. 
			  
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491.  You went to the concert? 
			  
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492.  And you took Tareen? 
			  
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493.  Oh, no. 
			  
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494.  You refused to go. 
			  
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495.  I wasn't just gonna 
			  
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496.  waste the tickets. 
			  
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497.  You got those for us. 
			  
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498.  They were so close. 
			  
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499.  You said you weren't gonna come 
			  
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500.  right before you called me 
			  
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501.  a gift-giver-awayer. 
			  
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502.  I can't believe 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
503.  I almost made up with you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
504.  Back at you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
505.  You were about to hug. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
506.  Why were you just slamming 
			  
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507.  those lockers? 
			  
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508.  But I wasn't. 
			  
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509.  You see it was that— 
			  
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510.  - Come with me. 
			  
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511.  - Oh! 
			  
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512.  - Hey, Spencer. 
			  
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513.  - Hey, Fred-o. 
			  
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514.  - Carly's not home yet. 
			  
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515.  - I know. 
			  
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516.  But can I still come in though? 
			  
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517.  - Do you need to borrow money? 
			  
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518.  - No. 
			  
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519.  Please come in. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
520.  What's the matter? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
521.  You look glum. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
522.  - I am glum. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
523.  - Why so glum? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
524.  - Can we stop saying glum? 
			  
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525.  - Sure. 
			  
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526.  Carly and Sam 
			  
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527.  are still fighting. 
			  
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528.  Yeah, I've been worried 
			  
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529.  about Carly. 
			  
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530.  She's been really glum—glumpy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
531.  Things haven't gotten better? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
532.  They've gotten 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
533.  the opposite of better. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
534.  So worse. 
			  
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535.  Uh-huh. 
			  
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536.  And we have to do 
			  
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537.  the web show tonight. 
			  
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538.  But they'll probably just 
			  
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539.  start screamin' at each other, 
			  
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540.  and I'll have to fake 
			  
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541.  technical difficulties 
			  
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542.  and go— 
			  
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543.  Again. 
			  
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544.  Look, in my life, 
			  
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545.  I've learned a thing 
			  
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546.  or two about girls. 
			  
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547.  Like? 
			  
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548.  Like when you break up 
			  
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549.  with them, 
			  
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550.  they do not like it 
			  
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551.  when you ask out their sister. 
			  
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552.  That'll get you a fork 
			  
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553.  in your arm. 
			  
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554.  How does this help me? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
555.  Look, when girls get mad 
			  
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556.  about something, 
			  
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557.  they just wanna be told 
			  
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558.  they're right. 
			  
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559.  Well, then, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
560.  that's a big problem, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
561.  'cause Carly and Sam 
			  
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562.  can't both be right. 
			  
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563.  Or can they? 
			  
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564.  No, you're right, they can't. 
			  
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565.  So do you have anything 
			  
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566.  helpful to say here? 
			  
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567.  - Helpful? 
			  
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568.  - Yeah. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
569.  No. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
570.  But hey, you wanna check out 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
571.  my automatic fish feeder? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
572.  I'm making it 
			  
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573.  a lot more complicated 
			  
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574.  than it needs to be. 
			  
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575.  - Why? 
			  
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576.  - 'Cause it's fun. 
			  
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577.  It's not finished yet, 
			  
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578.  but check it out. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
579.  Okay. 
			  
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580.  This car is gonna go 
			  
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581.  around this track, 
			  
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582.  hit this thing, hit that tank, 
			  
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583.  shoot at that target, 
			  
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584.  spill fish flakes 
			  
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585.  into that bowl. 
			  
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586.  Here we go. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
587.  Swimmy! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
588.  I thought that was Brock. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
589.  Brock! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
590.  Oh, phew. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
591.  That was close. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
592.  Brock is okay. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
593.  Okay. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
594.  I'm gonna see 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
595.  if I can think of a way 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
596.  to fix things 
			  
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597.  with Carly and Sam. 
			  
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598.  Think well, Fred-o. 
			  
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599.  I wanna start off 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
600.  doin' my impression of a cat 
			  
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601.  in a dishwasher. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
602.  I told you, we're starting 
			  
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603.  with the Mexican jump-rope bit. 
			  
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604.  That bit stinks. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
605.  Your attitude stinks 
			  
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606.  and I'm in charge 
			  
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607.  of what we do on "iCarly." 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
608.  Well, I'm doin' the cat 
			  
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609.  in a dishwasher. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
610.  Mexican jump-rope. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
611.  Wrong, both of you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
612.  - Huh? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
613.  - What? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
614.  Tonight, I'm in charge 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
615.  of how we're starting the show. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
616.  Look, you just point 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
617.  your little camera, tech boy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
618.  Yeah, don't tell us how— 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
619.  We start the show how I say, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
620.  or you guys can get yourself 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
621.  a new tech producer. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
622.  - He's bluffin'. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
623.  - I don't bluff. 
			  
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624.  Okay, I was bluffin' 
			  
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625.  when I said I don't bluff, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
626.  but I'm serious about quittin'. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
627.  Fine, what do you want us 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
628.  to do? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
629.  - Go put your hair in ponytails. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
630.  - Why? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
631.  - Why do you want— 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
632.  - Ponytails! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
633.  Okay. We'll put our hair 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
634.  in ponytails. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
635.  - No need to be so assertive. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
636.  - Bossy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
637.  And in five, four, three, two. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
638.  Hello, people of Earth 
			  
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639.  and beyond. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
640.  This is a little web show 
			  
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641.  we like to call "iCarly." 
			  
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642.  I'm Carly. 
			  
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643.  And I'm Sam. 
			  
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644.  And I'm Freddie. 
			  
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645.  Now, usually, 
			  
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646.  I'm behind the camera. 
			  
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647.  Where you should be. 
			  
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648.  But tonight, we're gonna 
			  
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649.  shake it up a little bit. 
			  
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650.  - Can't wait. 
			  
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651.  - Yay. 
			  
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652.  See, Carly and Sam 
			  
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653.  are in a big fight. 
			  
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654.  And both girls think 
			  
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655.  they're right. 
			  
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656.  - I am right. 
			  
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657.  - You am wrong. 
			  
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658.  You am obnoxious. 
			  
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659.  See? 
			  
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660.  But this fight 
			  
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661.  is gonna end tonight 
			  
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662.  because you, 
			  
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663.  the fans of "iCarly," 
			  
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664.  are gonna decide who's right 
			  
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665.  by voting online, 
			  
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666.  after the show, 
			  
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667.  right here at iCarly.com. 
			  
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668.  So what does this have to do 
			  
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669.  with tying up our ponytails? 
			  
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670.  I was getting to that. 
			  
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671.  Both girls are about to give 
			  
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672.  their sides of the story. 
			  
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673.  But if either girl interrupts, 
			  
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674.  says something insulting, 
			  
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675.  or yells, 
			  
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676.  her ponytail will be yanked. 
			  
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677.  Hard. 
			  
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678.  - This is ridiculous. 
			  
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679.  - I ain't doin' this. 
			  
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680.  - Ow! 
			  
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681.  - Ow! 
			  
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682.  Very good. 
			  
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683.  And now, the first girl 
			  
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684.  to speak will be Carly. 
			  
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685.  Boo. 
			  
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686.  She pressed the boo button. 
			  
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687.  Ow! 
			  
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688.  Drop the remote. 
			  
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689.  - Carly, you may begin. 
			  
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690.  - Okay. 
			  
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691.  It started when I gave Sam 
			  
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692.  an "iCarly" T-shirt 
			  
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693.  that I worked so hard to make. 
			  
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694.  It was a really special gift, 
			  
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695.  and then she traded it 
			  
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696.  for concert tickets. 
			  
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697.  You wanted to go 
			  
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698.  to that concert—ow! 
			  
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699.  It's Carly's turn. 
			  
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700.  But she—but I just— 
			  
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701.  well, just let me say— 
			  
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702.  I'll be quiet. 
			  
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703.  I put a lot of thought 
			  
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704.  into that gift 
			  
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705.  and then Sam 
			  
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706.  just traded it away. 
			  
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707.  And then she went 
			  
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708.  to the concert without me. 
			  
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709.  - But— 
			  
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710.  - Ah! 
			  
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711.  And Sam still hasn't apologized 
			  
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712.  for trading away a present 
			  
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713.  that I made her. 
			  
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714.  Mm-hmm. 
			  
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715.  Very nice. 
			  
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716.  Now Sam, you may give 
			  
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717.  your side of the story. 
			  
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718.  Finally. 
			  
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719.  Okay, first off, Carly said 
			  
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720.  the shirt was no big deal. 
			  
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721.  And the tickets I got were 
			  
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722.  for Cuddlefish, 
			  
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723.  a concert Carly told me 
			  
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724.  she was dying to go to. 
			  
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725.  It's her favorite band. 
			  
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726.  Let the record show that 
			  
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727.  Carly is fond of Cuddlefish. 
			  
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728.  So, yeah, I traded the shirt, 
			  
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729.  but it was to get something 
			  
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730.  Carly wanted a lot, 
			  
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731.  something the two of us 
			  
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732.  could've done together. 
			  
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733.  And Carly refused to go 
			  
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734.  to the concert so— 
			  
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735.  I would've gone with you 
			  
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736.  if you'd just apologized. 
			  
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737.  She interrupted me. 
			  
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738.  Yank her ponytail. 
			  
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739.  No, I'm gonna allow it. 
			  
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740.  - Why? 
			  
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741.  - Because I love her. 
			  
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742.  Give me the rope. 
			  
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743.  Ow! 
			  
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744.  You're not the rope-keeper. 
			  
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745.  - Ow! 
			  
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746.  - Ow! 
			  
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747.  - It hurts. 
			  
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748.  - Stop. 
			  
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749.  - You guys stop it. 
			  
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750.  - You stop. 
			  
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751.  You're missing 
			  
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752.  the point of this activity. 
			  
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753.  - Knock it off, you guys— 
			  
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754.  - Stop it. 
			  
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755.  You're stressing 
			  
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756.  your ponytails. 
			  
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757.  My hair feels like 
			  
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758.  it was attacked 
			  
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759.  by a vacuum cleaner. 
			  
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760.  Mine feels like it was yanked 
			  
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761.  by a Freddie. 
			  
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762.  Could you please just hurry up 
			  
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763.  and count up the votes? 
			  
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764.  Okay. 
			  
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765.  Now before I tell you who won, 
			  
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766.  do you guys promise 
			  
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767.  to accept the decision? 
			  
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768.  Loser apologizes? 
			  
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769.  - Sure. 
			  
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770.  - Okay. 
			  
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771.  Then here we go. 
			  
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772.  Sam, the number 
			  
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773.  of "iCarly" viewers 
			  
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774.  who think you're right, 693. 
			  
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775.  I got 693 votes. 
			  
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776.  And how many votes did I get? 
			  
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777.  Seven hundred and five. 
			  
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778.  - Ha. Looks like— 
			  
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779.  - Wait. 
			  
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780.  I put up a third option 
			  
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781.  for them to vote for. 
			  
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782.  - Huh? 
			  
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783.  - What? 
			  
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784.  First button says 
			  
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785.  Carly's right. 
			  
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786.  Second button said Sam's right. 
			  
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787.  The third button said, 
			  
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788.  "Carly and Sam 
			  
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789.  are both acting dumb, 
			  
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790.  "and they should just make up 
			  
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791.  and be friends again." 
			  
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792.  How many people voted 
			  
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793.  for that one? 
			  
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794.  253,719. 
			  
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795.  Our fans don't like it 
			  
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796.  when best friends fight. 
			  
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797.  Neither do I. 
			  
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798.  - Aw, Sam, you're crying. 
			  
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799.  - No. 
			  
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800.  Freddie is just such a dork, 
			  
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801.  it makes me 
			  
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802.  emotional sometimes. 
			  
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803.  - I'm sorry. 
			  
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804.  - I'm sorry. 
			  
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805.  Oh, I see hugging. 
			  
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806.  Does everyone 
			  
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807.  like each other again? 
			  
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808.  - Yes. 
			  
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809.  - Excellent. 
			  
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810.  I say this calls 
			  
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811.  for a lovely fish dinner. 
			  
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812.  - You're cooking fish? 
			  
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813.  - No. 
			  
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814.  We're feeding dinner to a fish. 
			  
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815.  My fish. 
			  
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816.  I run to the kitchen. 
			  
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817.  See, I finished 
			  
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818.  my automatic fish feeder. 
			  
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819.  Are you children ready? 
			  
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820.  - Ready. 
			  
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821.  - Oh, yeah. 
			  
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822.  Thank you. Thank you. 
			  
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823.  Thank you very much. 
			  
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824.  And now, I shall never again 
			  
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825.  forget to feed my fish. 
			  
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826.  But wait, don't you 
			  
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827.  still have to remember 
			  
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828.  to put that ball back 
			  
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829.  at the top every day? 
			  
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830.  I'm going to bed. 
			  
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831.  You're takin' him 
			  
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832.  back to the pet store? 
			  
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833.  Yep. 
			  
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834.  Hi, Carly, Sam, and Freddie. 
			  
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835.  These balls are for you. 
			  
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836.  "iCarly" rocks. 
			  
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