1. If it's Wednesday night,
that means it's Barley Tonight,
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2. the no-holds-barred debate show
with your host, Barch Barley.
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3. Tune in to watch Barley spar with experts
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4. from the worlds of politics,
sports, and pop culture.
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5. I never met a fight I didn't like.
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6. Isn't that the whole point?
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7. You have to know
how crazy you sound right now.
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8. Right? He sounds crazy, doesn't he?
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9. On my show, nothing's off-limits.
Fighting's a lost art.
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10. But if I smell blood,
I go in for the kill.
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11. And if you start to win,
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12. I go on my phone.
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13. Where do you think
that money comes from? Taxes.
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14. I don't know where you think
it comes from. The bank?
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15. - Barley, I just—
- Hold on. I gotta do something fast.
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16. - What the fuck?
- Is everything all right?
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17. Not sure.
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18. I'll size you up and I'll cut you down.
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19. If you're getting the best of me,
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20. I have no problem being on my phone
the whole show.
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21. - Impossible to keep gas prices this high.
- Exactly the point I made.
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22. Fuck!
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23. - Bar—
- Hold on.
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24. Gotta do something for my mom.
She's not getting any hot water.
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25. - Well, one thing I—
- Hold on.
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26. It's crazy at her house. Hold on.
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27. Is she okay?
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28. - Barley?
- Can't take a shower.
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29. I have so much stuff on my phone.
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30. Music, apps, games, obviously.
A medieval game, obviously.
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31. Obviously a jousting game.
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32. I have no problem
being on my phone for hours.
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33. I love my phone.
I even have an alarm on my phone.
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34. What are you doing?
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35. - Don't cough.
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36. I have the newest phone.
It's black and I have a black case for it.
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37. It looks really cool.
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38. I have everything on this phone.
I always just look at it.
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39. If I ever feel weird at all,
I'm just looking at it.
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40. I know there's a new phone coming soon.
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41. But I'm not worried about it at all.
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42. Because I know I can take all the stuff
from my old phone
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43. and put it on my new phone,
as long as I'm updated.
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44. I'm putting the photos from here
on my computer.
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45. That way, when the new phone comes out,
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46. I can put them on that phone
from the computer.
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47. Even if something goes crazy,
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48. I'll still have those photos
on the computer, safe and sound.
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49. - Admit that I won.
- Let me look at this!
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50. You're just embarrassed
because you thought—
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51. No, my mom's getting robbed.
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52. - And she's texting you about it.
- The guys are.
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53. What are they texting?
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54. Sent me a picture of her tied up
with an apple in her mouth.
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55. Let her go.
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56. I love how this phone works.
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57. Okay, so building a good team in business
is like building any team.
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58. - Even the Cardinals.
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59. For example, uh, Susan.
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60. And Tina. They have a shorthand.
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61. You might want to put them
on the same team together.
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62. Right? Now on the other hand,
let's say if, uh,
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63. Rick and Stan are absolute mortal enemies,
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64. you probably don't want them
on the same team. All right?
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65. - Hate you, Rick.
- You too, Stan.
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66. Exactly. See? Wouldn't be a good idea.
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67. You wanna keep close tabs
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68. on interpersonal relationships
in the workplace.
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69. - Now—
- Fuckin' Rick.
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70. Looks like these guys
have something going on.
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71. Yeah. Maybe he walked in on me in a dream
when I was about to have an orgy
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72. and he wrecked it.
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73. Could be different reasons.
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74. - Yeah.
- Good. Okay.
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75. So, moving forward,
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76. uh, you've got a solid handle
on these individual personalities
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77. and abilities of your core team.
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78. You can start to delegate tasks...
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79. Why the hell did you have to
walk in on my orgy, you fucker?
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80. All right.
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81. and trust takes time, right?
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82. - So don't fret if things take a while.
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83. - Hey, mortal enemy.
- Okay? Need to be nurtured.
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84. You can't just set and forget them,
no matter how talented you people are.
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85. I'm so pissed off.
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86. But don't suffocate your squad
with constant hovering or micromanaging.
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87. Stop.
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88. Make sure everyone's
short and long-term goals
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89. are laid out clearly and reasonably.
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90. Even then, things won't always
come out the way you want.
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91. - Sometimes you're gonna have to step in...
- Stop.
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92. When you find your team
in troubled waters...
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93. - Stop.
- No.
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94. Stan, stop it.
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95. - Knock it the fuck off!
- Hey! What the hell's going on here?
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96. He's acting like
he's throwing fake water at us.
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97. - What?
- Because you said we're mortal enemies,
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98. and I didn't wanna say I wrecked his orgy.
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99. Not why. I'm doing it
because they tell me to stop.
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100. - Then stop doing it!
- I'll do it more!
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101. - Stop!
- Stan!
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102. Stan, that's enough!
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103. - Stop it!
- Stop!
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104. I'm just gonna keep doing it.
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105. You wanna do it, let's do it!
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106. - Alex!
- Alex!
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107. What are you doing?
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108. - Alex!
- I'm so tired of this!
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109. Everything's out of control!
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110. What is even going on?
My life is out of control.
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111. I just take everything way too far.
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112. I got too hyper.
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113. And now you're more in trouble than me, unfortunately.
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114. Yeah.
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115. It's okay.
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116. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
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117. - You got me with the water pretty bad.
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118. Nah, nah, nah.
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119. Nah. It's just that mine
didn't have any water in it.
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120. And yours did.
And then, plus, you pulled my hair plugs.
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121. That's why mine was funny
and everyone's mad at you.
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122. I can't believe all that happened
'cause the teacher.
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123. I'm not a teacher.
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124. Wow!
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125. Last week on Summer Loving...
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126. Megan was torn between sending home
two of the summer lovers.
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127. Alexander and Ronnie, please step forward.
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128. Find out whose summer break
is over on this week's Summer Loving.
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129. Twenty-four eligible men spend
summer break with one beautiful woman
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130. to see if a summer fling
will turn into summer love.
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131. Alexander, on our kayaking date earlier,
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132. I feel like there were
a lot of awkward pauses.
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133. I know we had an instant attraction,
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134. but I'm starting to think
we don't have enough in common
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135. for you to be... the one.
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136. And Ronnie, I feel like you're just here
for the zip line.
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137. What?
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138. All you do all day is go on the zip line.
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139. I like that you can drop into the pool.
I'm trying to remember.
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140. You were never joining us
at any of the group meals
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141. and when you were reprimanded
and asked to join us,
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142. you ate as fast as you could.
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143. - How do you think your connection is?
- Good.
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144. And you've gotten into several fights
with Mike
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145. from Adventure 365, who runs the zip line.
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146. Just too excited.
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147. He's too rough on the rope.
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148. - Shut up, Mike.
- He pulls.
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149. He wrenches on the rope.
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150. - He thinks it's his.
- Shut up, Mike.
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151. - You yanked on the rope hard.
- I said shut up.
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152. And is it true that when you found out
I was upset about the zip line,
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153. you started spreading rumors
about your fellow summer lovers?
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154. I sincerely believe Cody is a drug addict.
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155. Cody says he's never touched a drug.
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156. Well, that's what I believe.
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157. Megan, before you decide
whether to send me home or not,
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158. I just want you to know
Carmelo said your face looks like a clock.
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159. I never said that.
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160. I just don't wanna go home.
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161. What's waiting for me at home
is really bad.
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162. What's waiting at home?
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163. I don't know.
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164. When I get home, there's something
I'm worried about about my life.
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165. - What is it?
- I don't know.
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166. - Is there really something?
- I don't know.
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167. I just really wanna be here. I love you.
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168. Is it true, when having beers with Kenny,
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169. you told him it was your dream
to be alone?
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170. - It's not true.
- I just wanna be alone forever.
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171. Before you make your decision,
I just want you to know
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172. I believe Carlos is a ho.
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173. Unfortunately, Ronnie...
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174. our summer fling is over.
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175. Aww!
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176. - Should pack your things and go.
- You sure?
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177. Aww!
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178. Aww!
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179. Mike?
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180. Tony? Come here.
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181. - What's up, Dad?
- Have a seat, please.
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182. You guys have really been extremely rude
and disrespectful to me lately.
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183. But I think I have something
that might help.
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184. Loser.
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185. What's that?
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186. You say something to me?
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187. - Yeah. I called you a loser.
- Yeah, I'm a stranger.
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188. Don't talk like that.
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189. If you're a stranger,
I can call you what I want.
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190. What is this?
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191. It's a video of me beating up a kid.
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192. It looks really fake.
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193. But it's real.
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194. - That doesn't look like a kid.
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195. I thought it would look fucking real.
Goddammit!
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196. You kids have been so nasty to me lately.
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197. I had to do something.
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198. - How'd you make it?
- It's a company. Street Sets.
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199. It's a warehouse downtown.
They've got different street scene sets.
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200. Pointless 'cause
you don't think it's real.
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201. You can tell it's an old man.
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202. Stomp my foot.
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203. Fucking Street Sets! I paid 15k for this.
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204. - Who were you gonna say filmed this?
- Brian.
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205. - From work?
- Yeah, Brian Cambridge.
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206. - Thrash me around.
- This part looks like shit.
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207. - Say you're sorry!
- No!
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208. That guy was going nuts.
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209. Kept saying if the stunts looked good,
he can get into Jump Junkies.
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210. I said, "I don't care how this helps you."
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211. - Dad—
- Fucking Street Sets!
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212. I thought you'd think
this was fucking real!
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213. We love you, Dad.
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214. We shouldn't have danced in the kitchen
when you had your stuff on the island.
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215. We know you were really stressed
organizing stuff on the marble.
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216. Thank you, boys.
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217. - Got something you wanna say?
- I'm sowwy, mister.
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218. Brian, you were filming this whole thing?
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219. God, this sucks!
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220. Hey, everyone, Kathy won't be in today.
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221. She got a DUI coming home
from the office happy hour.
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222. - Oh my God.
- Because she was at a work social event,
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223. I feel I have to remind you all
to be responsible.
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224. - Thank God she's okay.
- Yeah.
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225. God, so scary.
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226. If anybody ever feels
they've had too much to drink
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227. and they still need to drive,
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228. here's my number.
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229. No judgment. I mean it.
I will pick you up wherever, whenever.
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230. It's good to see you, dude.
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231. - I had a blast.
- You good to drive?
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232. - I should be fine.
- Get home safe.
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233. Later.
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234. Hey, man. Appreciate you picking me up.
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235. Not a problem. Glad you called.
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236. Glad you got out safe.
You did the right thing.
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237. You got behind the wheel.
Could've been bad.
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238. - Yeah, well, thanks.
- Fuck!
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239. They're trying to make it look fake!
Goddammit!
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240. - Make what look fake?
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241. The hat and the cigar. You're driving
with the Driving Crooner, baby.
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242. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
They're trying to make it look fake!
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243. - Slow down!
- Gotta be next to me for it to look real.
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244. You gotta be right next to me.
Everybody tries to make it look fake.
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245. Fuckers. Bet you didn't know you were
with the Driving Crooner, did you?
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246. - Or working with the Driving Crooner.
- No, I didn't know you... do this.
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247. Oh, yeah, I do this.
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248. I own this.
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249. - You own what?
- Thedrivingcrooner.com, baby.
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250. Don't ya love it?
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251. I gotta figure out how to make money
on this thing. It's simply too good.
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252. The dream is to have five cars
going state-wide.
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253. - Watch out for this guy.
- Fuck!
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254. - He's trying to steal my decals!
- What the hell are you doing?
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255. Sorry. Thought he was trying
to steal my decals.
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256. He was walking his dog.
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257. Walking to the car,
trying to rip the hat off, the cigar off.
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258. Why would he do that?
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259. I don't know.
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260. Some people hate this, James.
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261. I don't know what it is,
but they fuckin' hate it.
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262. There's people that wanna kill me, James.
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263. They want to kill you?
For doing the Driving Crooner?
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264. - Yeah.
- Jesus.
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265. Gotta figure how to make money on this!
I really want to!
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266. Hey, what do you think of Richard
from work?
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267. He's got that big Cadillac.
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268. I could just slap the sticker on the side.
He'd be a perfect Driving Crooner.
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269. - That would generate revenue.
- Yeah, man. May... maybe.
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270. Yeah! Yes, James!
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271. Fuck! Fucking hell!
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272. - Fuck! Oh no!
- What?
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273. - Frat boys. Try and run us off the road.
- What?
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274. Roll up the window.
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275. - There's nothing on it.
- Oh, we know what's on it.
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276. - There's no stickers on it.
- Yes, there is.
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277. I'm gonna kill you.
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278. I'm gonna fucking kill you,
Driving Crooner!
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279. Are you all right?
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280. I'm so sick of this.
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281. Why do they hate it so much?
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282. When I was a kid,
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283. I fell into a river
and a fish bumped me out.
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284. I was supposed to die.
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285. But a fish bumped me out with its nose.
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286. That was the earth telling me
I'm supposed to do something great.
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287. And I know that's the Driving Crooner.
It has to be.
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288. You know what I mean, James?
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289. I'm so sick of this!
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290. Zanin Corp.
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